Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Dr. Ibram X. Kendi, a real genius

Episode Date: October 22, 2022

Dr Ibram X Kendi, author and MacArthur Genius, plays our game about the Genius Bar at Apple Stores. Joining him are panelists Alonzo Bodden, Josh Gondelman and Amy Dickinson.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

So, we're all traveling again, and people are dreaming, visiting cities like Paris or Tokyo or Rio, and all those places are fine, I suppose. But do any of them have Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Live at the Studebaker Theater? Mais non, as they say in one of those places. Come to Chicago, see Wait, Wait Live, and then with the rest of your time, well, I'm told the Cubs are rebuilding. That sounds exciting. More information at nprpresents.org. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Hey, Boston, how do you like them apples? It's good bill hunting. them apples. It's good Bill hunting. I'm Bill Curtis and here is your host at the Buck Center Wang Theater in Boston, Massachusetts.

A band who always calls it Beantown. Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to the author of How to Be an Anti-Racist, Ibram X. Kendi. But first, I want to take a second to congratulate all our friends here in Boston on being named in a recent online survey as one of the U.S. cities whose residents swear the least.

True story. So great job, Bostonians, on both swearing the least and lying the most on online surveys. So anyway, give us a call in your native patois. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Sarah Rowe, and I'm calling from McAllen, Texas. Hey, McAllen, Texas. How are things there?

Colder than they have been, but warmer than most of the country. Yeah, that's true. I'm glad you recognize that before you start complaining to us here in Boston. Sarah, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, a comedian you can see on his nationwide stand-up tour, including right here in Boston on Thanksgiving weekend. Tickets and info at joshgondelman.com. It is Josh Gondelman.

Hey. Thanks, everybody. Next, the syndicated advice columnist behind Ask Amy, whose Substack newsletter has been called the coziest content on the Internet, it's Amy Dickinson. Hey. Hi. And finally, a comedian you can see at Sidesplitters Comedy Club in Tampa, Florida, November 3rd through the 6th.

That's Alonzo Bowden. Hello. So, Sarah, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, of course you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose. You ready to play?

I'm ready. Your first quote comes from British Prime Minister Liz Truss on Wednesday. I'm a FIGA, not a quitter. What did Liz Truss do on Thursday? She stepped down as Prime Minister of the UK.

Yes, she quit! Her prime ministership lasted six weeks. She probably had just gotten her work email set up. Her problem was she hadn't been in the job long enough. She didn't get to the part of the onboarding video where they say, don't destroy the economy. Wednesday night must have been like a hell of a night. I'm not a quitter. Hi, it's Thursday.

I quit. Wednesday was a tough night. Wednesday was a hard night. She was visited by three ghosts. Wednesday was a tough night. Wednesday was a hard night. She was visited by three ghosts. Yeah. I think it was two ghosts,

and the future one didn't show up, and she got the hints. This is amazing, and is well known. It went all over the world. The Daily Star tabloid in Britain put up, when she became prime minister, a live feed of a head of lettuce

to see which would last longer, the unrefrigerated head of lettuce or Truss as prime minister. So the lettuce has won and will be sworn in as prime minister. That's real. sworn in as Prime Minister. That's real. That is, it hurts also because the head of lettuce is the most flavorful food Britain has to offer.

But, think about, because if that weren't true, they could have put her up, she could, we're comparing against a durable vegetable. She's outlasted several avocados. A banana or two. Yeah, give her credit. Right. Had she beaten lettuce

Would she brag about it Probably One thing I've accomplished is I outlasted lettuce The Tories in the UK Are really putting American conservatives To shame right Because our Republicans won't accept the results of an election

That they lost The Tories barely accept the results of an election that they lost. The Tories barely accept the results of an election that they won. No, no, no, no, no. Not her. No losers. Here, Sarah, is your next quote. Symptoms include cranking up the volume on the radio. That was the Wall Street Journal talking about signs you may need some helpful accessory that is now, for the first time, available over the counter.

What? That would be hearing aids. You're right. Hearing aids now available over the counter. Or, according to reporting by your dad, they just said something about a counter. By the way, you may be upset that a man of my age is making fun of people needing hearing aids, but the joke is on you because I cannot hear you booing.

I can't wait for a bunch of commercials where they actually lower the volume. They will. It's so strange to me that you couldn't get them over the counter before. You had to have a prescription for speakers. I know, but they're like pretty, I mean, what do they sell? Is it like an ear trumpet?

Yeah, exactly. Is it like a sophisticated thing? No, it was because of the influence of big ear. My grandfather had that. You used to have to go to an audiologist. If you couldn't hear, you'd go to an audiologist. He'd say, hello. And if you didn't say anything back, he'd give you a say.

Yeah, you really can't hear. That was their process. They're upset. They're like, well, good luck figuring out what hole it goes in. In California, you could get recreational hearing aids for like the last five or six years. And before you have a diagnosis, you have to get a card. But they were really easy to get. Yeah, you would go to a doctor.

You'd be like, sometimes things are too quiet. And you have a prescription. The coolest thing is now that they're sort of deregulated, well-established tech companies who make audio equipment like Sony and Bose can now compete in the spaces, they say, to make the coolest hearing aids. I personally am going to hold out until they come out with What? by Dre.

This opens the door to so many things being available over the counter. Do you really need a professional to do that colonoscopy? Go down to the drugstore, get your own colon snake for $19.99. I had one date that was kind of like that once. Josh, you...

Josh! Oh, my God. I was going to ask... You realize you're on NPR. I didn't say how it was like that. Here's your last quote. It was a late night host berating the servers at a New York restaurant this week. You can't do your job.

You can't do your job. So who was it? Do you know? Is that James Corden? It was James Corden. Very good. James Corden. Very good. James Corden got banned by the owner of the restaurant

Balthazar for repeatedly yelling at the waitstaff. The problem is he kept saying, don't you know who I am? And they were like, you know. The bigger issue here, though, is that the order, he was so mad that the staff

had screwed up an all-yolk omelet. Literally a heart attack on a plate. Literally a heart attack on a plate. Can you imagine being stuck in a carpool karaoke with someone who just ate like 15 eggs? And apparently the omelet, his complaint was that it had a little bit of white in it, just a little bit, and that came dangerously close to it being an omelet. Now I'm wishing I had done his show, because I don't have any white in me. Oh, my God.

I mean, that's a terrible way to treat someone, but it would have been worse if it was John Oliver who had come with 18 minutes of facts about why you're bad at your job. Would have been ruthless. I would love to see James Corden, just send him down to a Waffle House and have him yell at that

waitress, she can't do her job. Handle him, yeah. Let's see how that turns out, James. Turn into ambulance karaoke. Bill, how did Sarah do in our quiz? Sarah is tuned in. She got a perfect score. Well done, Sarah.

Thank you. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you so much for playing. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Josh, Apple's new iPhone has a feature that automatically calls 911 if you're in a serious car crash. This week, we found out the service will also call 911 for you if you happen to do what? Oh, it's got to be something high impact. There's a laugh.

So these people know. Can I have a hint, please? You sure can have a hint. There were a number of serious incidents, for example, at the Cyclone on Coney Island. If you go on a roller coaster? Exactly right. So the Warren County 911 Center in Ohio recently got six automated calls from iPhones reporting crashes. So when emergency services responded, they found, not like the twisted wreckage of a car, but Mystic Timbers, a roller coaster at Kings Island Amusement Park, which just got a great new slogan. Mystic Timbers, your phone will think you died.

I saw an ad for the new Apple Watch, and I actually thought it was listing all of the bad side effects, like when you take a drug and you're going to be suicidal or whatever. It listed these, like, it tracks your sleep. It knows when you're dreaming. It knows when you've been bad or good. It knows, like, very specific things about you based on your biometrics. I thought that was really creepy.

I think the whole thing, even the 911 thing, that's too invasive, right? I'm not a great driver. I've gotten in a Thunderbird for a time or two. Why are you snitching Apple Watch? Why are you snitching iPhone? Yeah, no, let's settle this off the books, can't we? This phone is like the world's worst friend to hang out with. Yeah, we can do this fun thing you want, but I'm calling the police.

Will it notify your insurance company to raise your rates? Probably. Is someone trying to buy a hearing aid off the books? The darkest night on the brightest day Someone's watching you from so far away Here's your every word, here's your every move Don't just think you're with, don't just watch you do Someone's watching you Coming up, it's playtime in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Josh Gondelman, and Amy Dickinson. And here again is your host at the Box Center Wang Theater in Boston, Massachusetts, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air.

Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Hillary from Brooklyn, New York. Brooklyn where? Brooklyn, New York. Brooklyn, New York. Have you heard of it? I have, I have. What do you do there in Brooklyn? I am a middle school teacher, but I am currently on maternity leave.

You're a middle school teacher on maternity leave? I am. Well, first of all, I applaud teachers, especially middle school teachers. Oh my God. But the only thing I'm amazed at is that somebody could spend that much time around children of that particular age and then end up wanting one for themselves. That's fair. It's all right. You get about 12 good years before they go bad. You know this. Hillary, welcome to the show. You are going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Hillary's topic? Toy with me. Toys are always improving. I remember,

for example, when I was a kid and they added that stick to the hoop thing. Blew our minds. Anyway, our panelists are going to tell you about another innovation in toys we heard about this week. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize, the weight weighter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play? Ready. All right, let's go. First, let's hear from Josh Gondelman. Lego, the company best known for making tortured devices for bare feet, recently released a new toy that some consider too realistic. The creatively named Set 60335 is a plastic train station that also includes a bus and a maintenance vehicle with a porta potty in tow. Because sadly, even in the LEGO world, local businesses refuse to let construction workers use their employee restrooms.

But that's not the disturbing part. Inside that port-a-potty is a small, brown LEGO previously used to represent a swirl of frosting on a cupcake. Let's just say this doesn't seem like the best idea the LEGO Corporation has ever had, but it's definitely number two. Regardless, it's an interesting choice by LEGO to release a playset that combines

the gritty realism of a used toilet with the pure fantasy of America investing in the upkeep of its infrastructure. A LEGO set with a genuinely used port-a-potty. Your next story of a toy transforming comes from Amy Dickinson. Toymaker Mattel has been testing ways to freshen up old brands and capture new markets, and finally settled on an idea they hope will land on Christmas wish list this year. Becky, the American Girl, American Girl doll, an uber patriot from the blue-collar counties of Dallas.

Like other American Girl dolls, Becky comes with her own accessories, a MAGA hat, bandolier belt, and Stars and Stripes tear gas protecting kerchief. She wears a kiss me, I'm deplorable t-shirt and a denim skirt. Becky's backstory is that she's the daughter of a contractor who was at the January 6th rally but didn't enter the Capitol, and Becky herself enjoys hobbies like ammo loading and surveilling ballot drop boxes. Becky, the American girl, American girl. Your last story of a playroom innovation comes from Alonzo Bowden. For decades, young girls have been able to buy elaborate new outfits for their dolls, says Matt Jerome, CEO and quote, fun master of Matt J Toys. But he goes on, everybody knows that clothes don't really change anything. That's what inspired his invention, the plastic surgery

play thing. It's a doll that looks like a Barbie, but unlike Barbie, all the body parts are replaceable. You can swap out the butt cheeks, the boobs, the abs, the hair, even the arms and legs if you want something a little more toned. Dolls have always been aspirational, says Jerome, and who doesn't aspire to completely change everything about themselves? None of this is the problem. The problem is the name of the doll, KK. That's brought on an instant lawsuit and request for injunction from Kim Kardashian, who says the company has ripped off her signature appearance. But Mr. Jerome isn't worried at all. His response to the lawsuit was a simple statement. I don't know what she's talking about, said Mr. Jerome. It looks nothing like Ms. Kardashian. And if it does, well, you can outfit her with an entirely

new body for only about 60 bucks. All right, here are your choices. From Josh, a brand new Lego play play set with a porta-potty that has been used by some minifig. From Amy Dickinson, Becky, the American American Girl doll, or from Alonzo Bowden, KK, the plastic surgery play thing. Which of these is the real innovation in toys? Oh, I shudder to think that any of them are real. in toys? Oh, I shudder to think that any of them are real. I am hesitantly going to say the Lego Port-A-Potty toy. The Lego Port-A-Potty

that someone forgot to flush. All right, well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to a journalist who wrote about this new real toy. The specific piece is 53-119. Because that's the thing, Lego doesn't call it the poop piece. That was Zachary Zweizen. He's a staff writer and apparently Lego expert at Kotaku, telling us about the Lego set, which is one you really don't want to step on in the middle of the night. Congratulations, Hilary. You got it right.

You've won our game and you earned a point for Josh for being very tasteful. Thank you. I did my best. Thank you so much. Thank you, Hilary. Another game where we invite very impressive people to do something that, let's face it, isn't that impressive. Professor Ibram X. Kendi, Ph.D., is a National Book Award winning author and scholar whose book, How to Be an Antiracist, was a New York Times bestseller for many months and also the source of some controversy, making him one of the most beloved and condemned authors in the country.

He's also a winner of a MacArthur Genius Grant, and he is the head of the Center for Anti-Racist Research at Boston University. We are honored to have him with us. Dr. Kendi, welcome to Right, Right, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Wow. Not quite like the Senate Judiciary Committee, is it? No.

I have to start off by asking you, of course, about this amazing honor you received, one that few people get. You threw out the first pitch at Fenway Park. Whoa. And this was a couple weeks ago, right? Yes, and I was nervous. Really? You got the MacArthur Genius Grand, best-selling book, National Book Award, but this got you nervous.

Yeah, I just didn't want to embarrass myself. Those Fenway crowds are tough. They'll heckle you for the ceremonial first pitch. Get him out of here, he's a bum. Now, I got to ask you, there you were, I saw the picture, you're in your Boston Red So. Now, I've got to ask you. There you are. I saw the picture. You're in your Boston Red Sox jersey.

You're having a good time. But, sir, and I don't want to put you on the spot about this, but you're used to being grilled. You grew up in New York. Are you, in fact, an actual Red Sox fan? You're really going to ask me that in Boston? I grew up in New York. I got your back. I am curious about the Red Sox.

Oh, yeah. He's open. Peter, might I say we met fans? We love the Red Sox. Well, I was actually going to ask you this, to get to something more serious and to sort of get into your work. In your book, How to Be an Antiracist, which is much a memoir, it's a work of scholarship,

you are remarkably honest about all the wrong ideas in your own judgment that you had growing up, which is one of the really great things about the book. And there's this moment in the book where you tell your college roommate down in Florida that you have figured out that white people are actually aliens. So my question is, who told? So I actually saw this documentary that made that case. My mind was blown. Really?

I think it's probably been banned. Yeah, yeah. But you were like, that explains everything. Yeah. Yeah, that explains, among other things, why they can't dance. You also write about growing up in Queens, and you write about your obsession at that time at looking good. You got to in Queens.

Right. I mean, yeah. I mean, it's not like Manhattan. People have standards. I understand. Do you still connect the sneakers? Do you still, as you write in the book, fix the scuffs on your kicks? I'm not on that level.

No, no, no. I mean, when I was a teenager, we'd go out like literally hurting. My feet would be hurting, but I just had to look fly. One of the interesting things about the book is, as you, again, write about very honestly, there was no way in the world when you were, say, 15 that you yourself, let alone the people who knew you, would have picked you for future scholar, professor, MacArthur grant winner, right? So does anybody, like, from your youth ever be like, come on? Oh, all the time. Really?

What kind of grief do they give you? I think all of this is just so funny. Like, it's like, maybe there's two Abram Kendi's. I don't know. You also, I also want to ask you, you described yourself once with a term I've never heard, which is soft core vegan. And I've never heard that. So what is that? You only eat plants, but we don't get to see you actually chewing?

So you know how some vegans, they don't want to be around anyone eating anything but plant-based food. So I'm cool with people eating meat and other dairy products around me. So that's what I mean by soft core. I'm like not hardcore and like if somebody's eating, I'm trying to constantly make someone into a vegan. Right. So you're a vegan, but you're nonjudgmental. Exactly. That is...

You're the one. Ladies and gentlemen, we've found him. That's such a... Oh, the applause for non-judgmental vegan because as someone who's from the Boston area, whenever I see someone who makes better dietary decisions, my head immediately goes, you think you're better than me, guy?

So I heard people like, thank goodness. Are you enjoying living in Boston? And keep in mind, they're all from Boston. So actually, we are. And I think in many ways, especially as we look around what's happening

in the rest of this country, it makes us enjoy Boston so much more. Given what we all know about Boston's history, you're probably amazed to find yourself now going, thank God I'm in Boston. Seriously. They should put that right on the Zakem Bridge on the sign. It just says,

Boston, you should see the other guy. Boston, not that bad. Can I ask you one last thing? We've had some MacArthur Genius awardees, and there's one thing I've never asked, which is, like, how useful is that in, like, daily life? I'm thinking of, like, marital disputes.

Right? Because I'm married. And how great would it be to be able to say, well, the genius thinks the dishwasher should be loaded this way. So it typically happens the other way around. Really? How could the genius load the dishwasher?

Oh, right, right, right. Right. All right, Ibram X. Kendi, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling... Step up to this bar, genius. So, as we have discussed, you are, of course, a winner of the prestigious MacArthur Genius Grant, so we thought we'd ask you about a more common, approachable type of genius, those people staffing the Genius Bar at Apple stores.

Answer two or three questions correctly, you will win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they may choose in their voicemail. Bill, who is Dr. Kendi playing for? Dr. Mike Braden of Boston, Massachusetts. I'm going to guess, as a tenured professor, there's, it's been a while since you've had to take a test. Dr. That's why I became a professor. Exactly.

All right, here's your first question. When the idea of the Genius Bar, a place customers could come in and talk to technicians about using their devices, was pitched to Steve Jobs, famous founder of Apple, he hated the idea. Why? A, because if you tell people

how to fix their computers, they will not buy a new one. B, quote, my customers fix their own computers. All the idiots buy Microsoft, unquote. Or C, because Jobs said he had never met a tech person who was capable of talking to another human being. C? Yes, you're right. Yes, yes, yes.

He was assured that kids these days were different, and he signed on to the idea. And he was wrong, because they still can't... Here's your next question. Genius bar employees are often asked to fix things that are pretty hard to fix, such as which of these that was reported by a genius bar person to Thrillist? A, a 1964 IBM computer the size of a refrigerator, presumably brought in on like a hand cart.

B, an iPhone which the owner had shot out of frustration. Or C, a wooden abacus with three missing beads? I would say B. You're going to go for B. Yes, you're right again. Here's your last question. The Genius Bar has become so popular that it has created other kinds of businesses

in its wake, such as which of these? A, Appleware, that's with an E, a knockoff clothing line so people can dress like a Genius Bar genius. B, a black market invaluable Genius Bar appointment times. Or C, iFiction, a popular subgenre of self-published romance novels featuring headstrong Apple users and gorgeous Genius Bar geniuses. Oh, my God. I would say C. You're going to go for C, iFiction? Really, Genius?

That's what you're going to say? It does. When you do it like that, I can see the appeal of that kind of teasing. Yeah. B? They're saying B. You're going to go with that? Okay. That's right. That's what happened.

There was a period in time where you simply ordered to get an appointment at an Apple store. You had to go online and buy it for $10 from some black market guy. Bill, how did Dr. Kendi do on our quiz? He got three right. That's a winner, doctor. That's a genius. There you go. It's a lesson we're all going to get out of this together. Dr. Ibram X. Kendi is an author of How to Be an Anti-Racist, How to Raise an Anti-Racist, and a picture book adaptation of Zora Neale Hurston's Magnolia Flowers and many other books. Ibram Kendi, what a joy to have you on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Doctor.

Dr. Kendi, everybody. Thank you. In just a minute, find out what romance smells like in our listener limerick challenge game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Amy Dickinson, Alonzo Bowden, and Josh Gondelman.

Here again is your host at the Bach Center Wang Theater in Boston, Massachusetts. Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill rocks out to his favorite German metal band, Rheinstein, in our Listener Aluminum Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Josh, a candidate running for Congress in New York wants to decriminalize sex work. That's part of his platform.

And to show his dedication to the cause, he did what? He released his own sex tape. He did do that. Yes. Mike Itkus is running on a campaign to legalize sex work. And to prove that he was serious, he uploaded a 13-minute sex tape of his own to the internet earlier this week. What a strange political ad to introduce yourself. I am everyone, and I don't approve this message.

Did you watch it, or do you know what it is like? Well, what's weird is, Amy, is I watched it eight times, and I still don't know who to vote for. But, like, do we know anything about the plot? Is he, like, a Xerox salesman? Is he, does he work, say, for the Genius Bar? Is there, I need to know more

about this. I need you to muse about it. Tell me what you think might happen in this tape that you're imagining. Well, I think maybe he's canvassing. I, obviously, it has to happen at the polling place. Oh, my God. That's true. It's really

funny we've reached a point that a candidate can release a sex tape and we're all, yeah, but how dirty was it? How bad was he, really? I just, I mean, I'm just curious. Amy, let this one go. Alonzo, after a woman complained of eye discomfort and blurry vision,

her ophthalmologist was able to cure the problem by removing what from her eye? 23 contact lenses. That's exactly right, Alonzo. In one eye. No. This is what happened. She wore these disposable contact lenses that you're supposed right, Alonzo. In one eye. No. This is what happened. She wore these disposable contact lenses that you're supposed to take out. Right. And she kept forgetting to take them out. So she put

in another one. So the doctor, the ophthalmologist, realized there was a problem when her right eye entered the office ten seconds before the rest of it. Wait. The one woman was like, oh, my eye hurts, and also I can see through time. We know about this because the doctor posted the procedure on Instagram. You know you have really messed something up when your doctor takes one look at you and says,

wait a minute, and goes and gets a camera. Hey, the bad news is it's going to require surgery. The good news is you might go viral. Wow. So I wonder what is the upper limit then, if you can fit 23. What's the record? Right, because there's someone on TikTok right now going for 25. This may be my secret to fame.

It's a challenge. Wow, I've put in enough. My eye beams become a laser. Get the Guinness people on the horn. And there's some other person here you thought, that was impressive. I'm going to do it with glasses. Alonzo, an artifact that was discovered a few years ago in an abandoned mine sold at auction this week for $87,000. What was this thing that was brought up out of this old mine?

Wow. Well, it wouldn't be what they were originally mining for. No, no, it wasn't that. Can you give me any kind of hint? Sure. Some people like them stonewashed. Some people like them... Oh, that's right. They found, like, an old pair of jeans, right? They did. They found an old pair of jeans. Someone paid 87

grand for a pair of Levi's jeans from the 1880s. These are filthy mine jeans with a huge hole in one leg and several other rips. Where will Kanye be wearing those? So there's like two questions. First, why would somebody pay that much money for a really old pair of jeans? And also, what made that 19th century miner go down in the mine and take off his pants?

19th century miner go down in the mine and take off his pants. So there was not a skeleton inside the jeans? No, there was not a skeleton inside the jeans. I was so worried. Maybe he got down there and discovered it was like a formal mine. Oh, yes. The jeans were bought by a man named Zip Stevenson. We could say more.

It's not going to get better than the fact that the guy's name was Zip Stevenson. No, that's the name of the miner that owned the jeans originally. Hey, Zip, where are your pants? I've been down in that mine a long time, man. That's my miner accent. Very good. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you'll have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. You can also catch us most weeks at our home in Chicago. That would be the Studebaker Theater. Or come see us in Louisville, Kentucky at the beautiful Palace Theater on November 17th. Paula Poundstone and Dulce Sloan are on that panel, so prepare for a wild one. And catch the Wait, Wait stand-up tour

coming to Raleigh, North Carolina, Tampa, Florida, and a bunch of other cities this fall. For tickets and more information, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Sarah Cohen from Newton, Massachusetts. Newton! Hey! What do you do there in that beautiful suburb a few miles west of here? Well, by day, I am the program manager for a longitudinal research study of maternal and childhood health, and by night and weekend, I'm a baker, a grad student, I have a toddler, and I work with Company One Theater in Boston. That's great, but I have to tell you, I was hoping that when you got to it by night, you'd say fight crime.

I'll take it, though. Sarah, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Here is your first limerick. Since airlines can be too much fuss, a road trip works better for us. much fuss. A road trip works better for us. We don't pay big bucks, but we travel deluxe with seats in a big, fancy... Bus! Yes! The era of highly expensive luxury bus travel is here. Companies like Napaway and, in a great name for a bus company, Jet, are offering first-class bus rides for the discerning passenger of means.

They've got these lie-flat sleep pods, unlimited snacks, and in a bold leap over their competitor, Greyhound, bathrooms that work. Sometimes. The companies insist on calling these buses. They don't call them buses. They call them a coach. It's revealing that the fanciest

thing they can think of to call a bus is still the worst place to sit on a plane. Where do you get this deluxe coach? Because if you still have to go to the bus station, that's kind of going to kill you. We're not parking here.

I don't think those leave from Port Authority, if that's what you're asking. Hey, I don't care how fancy it is. I will end up sitting next to the guy on work release. It's just how it goes. That's how it goes. All right, here is your next limerick. The winking was too disconcerting.

The governor now will be hurting. A juror's dismissed. She smiled and air kissed. The accused and the juror were flirting. Flirting, that's right. A juror in the trial of the men plotting to kidnap the governor of Michigan has been dismissed for excessive flirting with one of the defendants. That's a story, of course, that echoes the plot of that Hollywood classic film, Twelve Horny Men. Oh no.

How did this flirting manifest? It manifested in her like smiling coyly at the defendant and making lots of eye contact. She wore a shirt that said, kidnap me daddy. Really, it was so obvious and this is true,

even the judge noticed. He was like, geez, you two, get a cell. Here is your last limerick. With married men, I will not mingle. So I'm trusting my smart nasal tingle. My nose gives a groan. Yep, he's living alone. I can tell by the smell if he's...

Single. Single, yes! According to a new study in Frontiers of Psychology, men who are single have the most potent body odor. This is a study, I mean... Just ask someone. Right. The study did not identify what the odor was, but it's probably microwaved mozzarella sticks.

So, Amy, I'm single. I'm sitting right next to you. And you're just going to fire away like that. Do I smell single? No, you don't. No, I'm just curious if I smell single or not. So if you're wondering how they did this, they asked these women to judge a panel of men by their smell,

and then they rated the men by scent, and the ones with the strongest smell turned out to be single. That's either because they have higher levels of testosterone, perhaps, or there's no one at their house to tell them they smell. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. If it were not for my wife, I would not be wearing pants. They found yours in a cave.

I know. Bill, how did Sarah do in our quiz? Sarah, we smelled a winner in you. You got them all right. Congratulations. Done like a Newton in you. You got them all right. Congratulations. Done like a Newton North grad. Thanks so much. Bye-bye.

Hey, before we get back to the show, I'm going to be a man. Yes, chef, at a celebrity guest. You've got fans. Hi, happy to be here. That was Jeremy Allen White, of course, star of The Bear, this year's hit TV show about an Italian beef sandwich joint in Chicago. They want your Italian beef, if you know what I mean. You'll hear outtakes and much more about The Bear from our interview with Jeremy Allen White. That's in our next episode for subscribers. To hear it, tap subscribe on our episode page in your Apple Podcast app. Or if you listen another way, subscribe at the link in our episode notes.

Now on to our final game, lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Josh has three, and Amy and Alonzo each have two. That means that Amy and Alonzo are both in second place, and I'm going to arbitrarily choose Alonzo to go first. All right, Alonzo, the clock will start when I begin your first question.

Fill-in-the-blank. On Wednesday, Vladimir Putin declared martial law in the Russian-occupied regions of blank. Ukraine. Right. This week, President Biden pledged to codify blank rights if Democrats expand their congressional majority. Abortion rights. Right. According to a new study, Moderna's new vaccine booster provides superior defense against the blank variant.

The Johnson & Johnson variant. No, it's the Omicron variant. On Tuesday, an Amazon warehouse in upstate New York voted against blanking. Unionizing? Right. This week, court filings revealed that the day the Trump Organization was sued for fraud, Donald Trump blanked. Lied?

Can't say I'm wrong, Peter. He probably did that that day, but what we were looking for was registered a new company called the Trump Organization 2. On Monday, the social media site Parler reached a deal with Blank, who agreed to buy the company for an undisclosed amount. Either Kanye or Yee, depending on which name.

That's how he goes by, yes. A woman in Massachusetts is facing multiple charges after police tried to serve an eviction notice and she blanked. She got on a really fancy bus. No. She released a swarm of bees at the police. Wait.

The police had just arrived at the house when the woman pulled up in an SUV filled with beehives, and she opened the trunk, and a giant swarm of bees flew out and attacked the police officers. She's now being charged with assault with a dangerous weapon, and if convicted, will soon be orchestrating the coolest jailbreak anyone has ever seen. Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz? Alonzo got four right, eight more points, total of 10, and he's in the lead. All right. Briefly. Briefly. All right. Amy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. This week, President Biden announced he was releasing 15 million more barrels of blank from the U.S.'s strategic reserve. Oil. Right. On Tuesday, the IRS announced they were increasing income levels for all tax brackets

due to blank. Inflation. Right. At its unveiling in Panama last week, a $1.5 million floating home failed to blank. Float. Right. This week, a man attempting.5 million floating home failed to blank. Float? Right. This week, a man attempting to rob a fast food restaurant in Houston explained that he left empty-handed because blank. His egg yolk omelet had some weight in it. No, because it was his first time robbing something. Aw.

The man walked in with a gun, demanded all the money in the register, and then told the cashier, this is my first ever robbery. He didn't really need to tell them, though. He was wearing a sign that said, student robber. Bill, how did Amy do in our quiz? Three right, six more points, total of eight. But Alonzo still has the lead. All right, then.

How many, then, does Josh Gondelman need to win? Four to win. Here we go. This is for the game, Josh. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a group in Wisconsin asked the Supreme Court to block President Biden's blank forgiveness plan. Student debt.

Right. This week, professional climber Elnaz Drakabi returned to Iran after competing abroad without wearing blank. The head covering. Hijab, yeah. On Monday, prosecutors asked for a six-month prison sentence for former Trump advisor Blank. Steve Bannon? Yes!

On Thursday, Portland and Seattle were ranked as two of the worst cities in the world for Blank quality. Staying dry. No, air quality. This week, a jury found disgraced actor Blank not liable for assault. Kevin Spacey. Right. This week, the youth pastor of a church in South Carolina was placed on administrative leave after he gave teenagers stickers that said

blank. Honk if you're holy. No. The youth pastor handed out stickers to the teenagers that said, I heart hot youth pastors. No. Yes. That's what I said.

The youth pastor admits the stickers were a mistake, and from here on out we'll stick to something more subtle, handing out stickers that say, my youth pastor is a total white pilf. I got that. Bill, did Josh Gondelman do well enough to win? Well, he got four right. Gives him eight more points, which means with one point, he's a victor.

Eleven. Josh Gondelman, the pride of Stoneham. Finally. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict who will be the next person to get banned from a restaurant, but first, let me tell you that. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR

and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeka writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shana Donald, BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Miles Dornbos, Lillian King, and Boston's own Jennifer Mills. Our production assistant is Sophie Hernandez Samianethis. Special thanks to Blythe Roberson. Peter Gwynn is our interim prime minister. Our

intern is Vaishnavi Naidoo. Technical directions from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Special thanks this week to Gary Yeck and Devin Williams. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now panel, who is going to get banned

from a restaurant next and for what? Josh Gondelman. Kanye West is going to get banned from Kat from cats in New York for going on a rant about how Jews control 99% of the kosher delis. Amy Dickinson. Liz Truss will be escorted out of the House of Commons commissary after she was caught trying to redeem her buy 45 lunches, get one free card.

And Alonzo Bowden. Because Josh and I didn't talk this over. Taco Bell's new spokesman, Pete Davidson, has banned Kanye from all Taco Bells. Well, depending on how it happens, we'll ask you about it on White Ways. Don't tell me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Josh Garland, Monima Dickinson, and Alonzo Bonin. Special thanks to everyone at WBUR

and WTBH here in Boston. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Bach Center, Wang Theater. Thanks to our fabulous audience here in this beautiful place. Thanks to all of you for listening at home.

I'm Peter Sagal, and we'll see you next week. And in honor of Boston, this is NPI.