Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Everyone & Asparagus

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

Comedian Marie Faustin and Emma learn the future from a bunch of asparagus and meet a mystery person while Emma's mom stops by with a helpful tip.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

What's up, guys? I'm Emma Choi, and welcome to Everyone and Their Mom, a weekly show from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. This week, we're talking about clairvoyant vegetables with comedian, podcaster, actor, and someone who I feel like would Venmo me right back after splitting a margarita pitcher. It's Marie Faustin. Hi, Marie. Hi. That's actually wrong. I would not Venmo you. I was more of a hopeful guess. Yeah, I'm one of those people that's like, I'll Venmo you when I get home and then I block you immediately. Oh, you know what? I can't blame you. Thrifty. And I love that. So this story I love so much is a woman in England who's getting famous for being good at asparagus fortune telling.

Asparagus fortune telling. Please tell me more. Oh, I would love to. So everyone is looking to an English woman named Jemima Packington, real name, aka Mystic Veg, for answers because she's been predicting the future really accurately. This week, she's in the news for forecasting who will take over for Boris Johnson for British PM. And spoiler alert, Marie,ie it's not me so cross me off your list oh man but you know she's not telling the future in any old way you know like reading tea leaves mapping stars she's using asparagus i like asparagus so i like where this is going but please how how do we tell the future with this basically what it is is she gets like a bunch of it has to be farm fresh asparagus so i like where this is going but please how how do we tell the future with this

basically what it is is she gets like a bunch of it has to be farm fresh asparagus she tosses them up in the air and then she interprets the patterns of how they land it's like um it's like reading tea leaves but this time you can make a beautiful frittata after some of the stuff she's predicted is that she predicted that boris johnson will be the prime minister four years before he got into office, which is crazy. She predicted a Star is born would win an Oscar. And then she predicted that Harry and Meghan would leave the royal family and Meghan would have her second kid. Which is, I don't know, I also predicted that when she asked me again to throw her a baby shower. And I was like, I have a life, Meghan.

More broadly, do you believe in paranormal stuff? I believe in souls and spirits um i believe i could fly actually take that out we're not singing him um how about crystals are you crystal girly uh i mean i have some that people have gifted me and i'm like okay now that you're asking you're bringing up crystals i don't know where any of them are they're in here somewhere though maybe they're messing up your vibe dude you should find those ah damn okay i'm gonna look for my alexa remind me to look for my crystals she just said when should i remind you never mind cameo nice what would you want to know of you if you went to go see the Mystic Fetch? What would I want to know? I guess I would want to know if I've already met my person or if my person is on the horizon.

Because, like, I wake up in the morning and I'm like, Alexa, where is my man? Like, what is happening here? She's like, I can't help you. And she's always like, I'm sorry, I'm not sure about that. And I'm like,'m not sure about that and I'm like why are you you raggedy ass robot so yeah I think that's what I would want to know because sometimes like I'll like so for my birthday last year when I blew out my candles I was like I wish I meet my person and um so after that after I made that wish every guy that I met

I was like is is it him? And it was not him. It's never been him. Like, I'll get in an Uber and the driver will be like, hey. And I'll be like, it's not him. It's, there's no way. It's like Saucy Marie. I'm tired.

Like, every man you meet. Yeah. And some women, too. I'm like, well, maybe it's her. I really liked her shoes. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm very tired. And that's what I would want the asparagus lady to tell me. So my name is Jemima Packington. I'm the world's only

asparamanser, which means I make predictions using asparagus. Should I be nervous to eat asparagus now? It seems like they are more magical. The most wonderful thing about this is we use the asparagus to make a reading and then we wash it and then we cook it and eat it. It's the ultimate in recycling. Wow, that's great. They're dual purpose. You got a bogo right there. cycling. Wow, that's great. They're dual purpose. You got a bogo right there. When did you discover this power? I was a child. I was about eight or nine. And the way you eat asparagus is the correct way is with your fingers. You just pick it up, butter it, and when I was about eight or nine, you know what a child is like, you don't take one speed, you take a lot.

And I took this and some fell on the floor. And I just came out with a very precocious remark. And there was a deathly silence around the table. And my parents sort of looked at one another because I had an elderly aunt who read tea leaves. And they thought, oh, it's skipping a generation then, is it? This ability, if you like. So they didn't encourage me and they didn't discourage me. They just left me to it. Do you remember what that first precocious statement?

Oh, I couldn't tell you. No one can remember. They're all going, phew. Have you ever come across a round of asparagus and you're like, this will make the best prediction I've ever made? Like, can you get that? No, any asparagus, I just, because I love it so much. You know, it's gimme, gimme, gimme. And what I find is the asparagus is such an earthy vegetable.

It's very robust. It's very quick growing from the earth, renews itself, that it seems able to take on the energy of whoever wants a prediction. So it's their energy that affects the asparagus and how it makes patterns and how I can interpret. You've gotten a lot of stuff right with your predictions. Can you give us a sampling of some of your big predictions? So Megxit, I'm sorry if that seems a bit, but, you know, Meghan and Harry leaving.

I got that politically, Boris Johnson. Years ago, I was the first person to say he was actually going to be Prime Minister of Britain. And of course, we've got to say that the England ladies football squad won the ladies European Cup on Sunday. And I predicted that. Wow. Do you ever predict your own future no somebody told me once don't do your own because you know you're just concentrate on helping people where you can and then leave fate to help you yeah there you go yeah I mean if had your power, I would just read myself every day and see if I was going to get in traffic that day.

But you know what would happen with that? If you did that, then you would get so bogged down in worrying about, oh, should I have done this? Should I have done that? Can I do this? Can I do that? Instead of saying...

I knew I wasn't the only person who wants to know the future. My mom, for example, always loves knowing what's going to happen next. So much so she's constantly spoiling the future for herself. Hello, my name is Julie and I am Emma's mother. Welcome back to the show, Emma. Well, thank you. Can you describe how you read books slash watch TV?

Well, I, so first with books, I would read books like the first couple of chapters, get into it, get invested in the characters in the storyline. And then I would jump to the end and see how it ends. But then I can go back to where I left off and read the book, knowing how it's going to end and truly enjoy every character and every story. And you do the same thing with K-dramas, right? Yes. My thought is that once I know what the story is and I really know what the characters are going through, I kind of like to see how it's resolved because then I can enjoy the journey. But if you could do that in life and know more stuff about the future,

would you want to know? 100%. Really? You don't think that would diminish the meaning of now? You just want to know? No, I would enjoy the now more, right? If I knew that something's going to happen in 10 years from now, this 10 years until that I would live it so much fuller happier appreciating every minute yeah I don't know for me okay I would like to know yeah well thank you see you later okay bye So Jemima, we reached out to you ahead of time and asked if you could answer a question our friend Marie has about her future. Yes. And her question is, she wants to know if she's already met her person or if her person is still on the horizon. Yes.

And you gave us instructions on how to do a virtual reading. So we did exactly what you said we had marie go out and buy three bunches of asparagus throw them up in the air while asking her question and she took a picture of how they fell that's right can you describe that photo for a second where does she end up tossing the asparagus well um it was it was obviously on a floor because you can see the floorboards in the foreground and the four of of the reading is always the immediate future so immediately if you look and you look almost to center and to the left there's a letter a and then you look further on and you'll see another letter a and then you look further on and you'll see another letter A. And then you look further on a letter A. And then even in the far future, you see a letter A.

The initial A figures so many times in the reading that this is very significant. So this initial is really, really important to Marie. Okay. And then you see the, all I can describe is a melee of, of spears like this. And it's because she is, she's busy and she's got to make some me time. And she's experiencing so many demands because of her sweet nature from family

and friends. This, this is blocking her and choking her and there's one spear surmounting them and going forward that is the one that is telling her me time take your breath say to everybody sorry sort it out yourself you know this time it's me and not you so only then can she meet her person i think the her person? I think the person is there. I think the person is there. Initial A, it's there.

It's all over that reading. So I suspect that this person is in her sphere, in her life. Oh, man. And it could be somebody she didn't even realize has potential. Oh, spicy. realize there's potential. Oh, spicy. And if she gives herself a bit of time to herself,

then it will all fall into place. That's exciting. I know, and I want to know, and I want an invite to the wedding. Hello. Hello, Marie. Yes. Hello? Hello, Marie. Yes? Well, Marie, I just got off the phone with Mystic Veg. Okay. And she read your asparagus, and you have your results.

Are you ready? Let me sit down. I don't know if I'm ready for this. It is a lot more dramatic than I expected. Okay, what's the drama, girl? So first she gave us some background and she told us that you're a very busy person and you're pulled in a lot of different directions.

Okay, yeah, I am very busy. And then she said that you're experiencing a lot of hurdles and challenges because you're so nice and your family and friends are making constant demands on your time. And because you're so kind natured, you find it difficult to say no. Okay, that feels wrong. I say no all the time. Really? So considering that, she had some thoughts about your person.

She said that it's a person that's already in your life, like already in your sphere. Okay. And one thing she said right away is that throughout your reading, she saw the letter A tons of times, like A, A, A, A, A. So she thinks that there's an initial A involved. So do you know anyone with the letter A in their name? That is straight? No. My, my, yeah, no, I, I don't.

So that's interesting. But now I'm going to be, I'm going to be in, I'm going to be walking through my day-to-day life looking for people with A. Basically she said that you have to put yourself first, and this will enable you to follow your own path and your own heart and start, you know, start realizing who this person is in your life. Congratulations.

Your person is all around you. My person is all around me with an A initial. Okay. Okay. All right. Wow, I learned a lot. I'm going to unpack this with the group chat later. Excellent.

Thanks, Marie. Thank you. Bye. Bye. all right here's my favorite part of the podcast this show was brought to you by wait wait don't tell me this episode was produced by hayley faker zola ray and nancy seichow with help from oha lopez blithe robertson lillian king sophia hernandez simone this and the italian guy on tiktok who keeps making those insane sandwiches. Our supervising producer is Jennifer Mills and our daddy's boy is Mike Danforth.

Once again, Lorna White makes the best sound. Thank you, sound maker. Thanks to my mom, Julie, for being my favorite all-time guest. Now you get me thinking about my future. And thank you to her spare mans or Jemima Pagington. I don't have a website. I'm a great believer in letting people find me.

Jemima wants listeners to know that the best asparagus out there is Vale of Isham Asparagus. And honestly, I trust her taste on this one. Thank you to my co-host, comedian,

and fellow hot girl walker, Marie Faustin. You gotta just get your mom some choose-your-own-adventure books. Follow Marie on Instagram at Reezy. That's R-E-E-E-Z-Y. I'm Emma Choi, and you can find me at WaitWaitNPR

and making my way downtown. Walking fast, faces pass, and I'm homebound. I've had asparagus gin, which I love. They do asparagus vodka, which I love. White chocolate and asparagus cake is to die for. I've had asparagus ice cream. You can do so many things with it, so don't be afraid of it.

Okay, I'm done. This is NPR. Big kisses to you all.