Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Everyone & Boring People

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

Comedian Peter Grosz joins Emma on a search for the most boring person in the world and Emma interviews astronaut Victor Glover about the boring parts of his exciting job.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Coming up, the most boring person in the world, farting in space, and tax fraud. I'm Emma Choi, and this is Everyone and Their Mom. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Everyone and Their Mom, a weekly show from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, where we take a break from the news to fall down a little rabbit hole instead. I'm your host, Emma Chilwell. This week, we're discussing something super boring with comedian, actor, Wait, Wait panelist,

and a man who I think, if he put his heart into it, could handcraft a really good wooden bowl. It's Peter Gross. Hi, Peter. Hi, how are you? I am so glad that you think that of me. Peter, I'm so excited to talk about this news. Science has finally found the most boring person in the world. Before we get into it, though, who's the most boring person you know? I mean, I know a few accountants, I guess, and they live like pretty straightforward. I wouldn't call them boring. Maybe like straight laced or down the middle or...

The color beige. The color, yes. Human personifications of the color beige. Walking beige. Yeah. But like accounting should be, it's not like your accountant should be like, I got a crazy, fun, exciting way to do your taxes. Yeah. We'll commit tax fraud together. That's what exciting accounting is. OK, let me tell you what this story is really all about. out. A researcher at the University of Essex had people rank the most boring traits, and it turns out the five most boring jobs are data analysis, accounting, insurance, cleaning, and banking. And the five most boring hobbies are sleep, religion, TV, the observing of animals,

and mathematics, which sounds less like hobbies and more like five random nouns. I know, I couldn't believe that TV watching and sleeping qualified as hobbies. I know. Because those are two things that I do eight hours a day each. So they just feel like just the fabric of my life. They don't really feel like hobbies. Yeah, it sounds, I mean,

it just sounds like what a depressed person likes to do. And so I feel like It's not really nice. So the University of Essex took all this data, put it all together, and concluded that the most boring person in the world is a religious data entry worker who likes watching TV and lives in a town. In a town. It really sounds low effort. That's like as opposed to a city, right? Like people who live in cities are maybe more interesting. I guess.

Or like a farm. One thing about boringness, though. Exciting people have to do a bunch of boring practice to become exciting. That's a good point. Simone Biles, right? You can't be an Olympic athlete without practicing jumping and cartwheels 50,000 million times. That's all boring. You're getting your 10,000 million times. That's all boring. You're getting your 10,000 hours in.

Yeah. Well, maybe everybody's 10,000 hours is kind of boring. Yeah. Like if I tried to tell you like, oh, here's how I, all the time that I put in my live performance, like improv shows and sketch shows, you'd be like, good Lord, is this boring? Peter, improv comedy could never be boring.

Are you kidding me? It's different every night. How could it be boring? Yes, improv comedy could never be boring. Are you kidding me? It's different every night. How could it be boring? Yes, and. Yes, and. I bet even the coolest, most exciting jobs in the world are boring sometimes. Like a stunt person. Or a waitress at the American Girl doll cafe.

Or an astronaut. Even, you know, going underwater in our spacesuit to dive and practice spacewalking, when you've got, you know, 500 or 1,000 hours underwater doing that, you know, there are probably times when you're like, okay, did I pick up my dry cleaning? I hope I let the dog out. I am NASA astronaut Victor Glover. Yes, you are, Victor. You do something truly incredible, something that people all around the world dream of doing. You go to space. You're an astronaut. But you probably had to do a lot of boring stuff to get there.

Yes, there are definitely boring parts to this job. You know, when you do something over and over again, it is easy to find it boring. when you do something over and over again, it is easy to find it boring. But we do simulations so that we get used to the technology, the operations, the communication or the procedure. And that can sometimes feel boring. And some of those sims can be like most of your day. One simulation that runs for eight hours. The other thing, we have some really complicated and sometimes really long meetings. And that to me is the part that is the most boring. Important. Important, but boring. Yeah. So it's never like you're in a meeting and you think this could just be an email. Like, it probably needs a meeting. I mean, often I do think it could be an email,

you know, like if it's a slideshow and people just read you the slides, I go, you could have emailed them to me and I could have read them myself. Are there moments like that when you're actually like doing a spacewalk? I never had that experience. I was so in the moment, every spacewalk, going out the door into the vacuum of space with your friend, it requires a hyper level of focus. And I think that's where the boring kind of comes in is you're so used to those things that you've done. You've built a sense of what is important, what's basic and how things should go. Yeah. Can you walk us through what you have to do before you actually start a spacewalk? Oh, absolutely. Yes. You start your day by, you know, you get up and you eat and try to, you know, load on calories because once you get in that suit, once you're sealed up, you're in there with 32 ounces of water and that's it. So I get up and try to eat a decent size breakfast, not too big,

because again, you're sealed inside there. So everything that's in there with you is in there with you, you know? Right. And so I eat breakfast and then you suit up into something, you put on these long john underclothes and a maximum absorbency garment. That's just NASA fancy talk for a big diaper. And then you slowly put the suit on and you're in the suit for anywhere between three to four hours before you go out on the six and a half hour spacewalk. And so they can be very long days, very long days. After being in space where things are really intense, do things on Earth seem kind of like boring or do you enjoy the normalcy of being on Earth? I enjoy the normalcy of being on Earth.

I like boring. I am okay sitting at home with my newspaper and my coffee and watching my kids or my dog. Yeah. Okay, Victor. Well, thank you so much for coming to where we are expert on exciting space and also boring stuff. And we made a little game for you if you're up for playing a game. Oh, thank you so much for coming to our beer. We're an expert on exciting space and also boring stuff. And we made a little game for you if you're up for playing a game.

Oh, I love games. I love games. Games are not boring. Great. We're going to say something you would do on Earth, and you tell us if it's boring or exciting if you did it in space. Does that make sense? Got it.

Brushing your teeth. Boring or exciting in space? Boring. Boring. Okay. Having a dance party. Boring or exciting in space? Boring. Boring. Okay. Having a dance party. Boring or exciting in space? Exciting. You can do dances in space that you cannot do on earth. I bet. Love it. Getting a haircut. Boring or exciting? Exciting. Shaving a bald head is very, it takes a lot of thought and

concentration. Very exciting. Exciting. Awesome. Farting. Boring or exciting in space? Exciting. When it's yours, not when it's somebody else's. That's a good distinction. When it's yours, you want to see, can it propel me?

Can it make me move through the space station? Can it? I don't think it does, but it's an experiment you're going to do no matter what. Definitely. Great. Okay, your birthday. Boring or exciting? Having a birthday in space was super special because my wonderful crewmates made it really special. They got the

instruments out and serenaded me and got me every kind of cake we have in space. Chocolate pudding cake, lemon curd cake, cheesecake. It took me all day to eat all these different cakes, but I did it. I'm going to say that's very exciting. Okay, last one. Meeting someone who is religious, likes watching TV, works in data entry, and lives in a town. Boring or exciting? That would be super exciting because you don't get visitors

to the space station. Oh, true! That would be a really interesting day for everybody. Awesome! Thank you so much, Victor. That was so great. And thank you for playing, and thank you for. Awesome. Thank you so much, Victor. That was so great. And thank you for playing and thank you for joining us. Thank you.

This was great and a ton of fun. Peter, back to finding the traits of the most boring person in the world. Right. I kind of feel like the scientists in this study kind of just like did this, like they thought about all of their exes and like mind all of their jobs in one. It'd be like, take that, Barbara. You're boring. I don't even need you. I always feel like the studies that get done are always like, there's like a personal aspect.

Yeah. There's some like somebody's getting government funding to just carry out like a vendetta against somebody right can you imagine being a person who's like reading this study and you realize that this person is you yeah exactly i mean i think that this the way this study is conducted it's about like what you do making you boring and i sincerely believe it's everybody has something interesting about them. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, Peter, you know, like being boring and boring stuff can be a good thing. Boredom creates inventions. And, you know, if you are a boring person, maybe you're like, I don't know, you're so boring that you're not boring anymore, right? Like,

boring stuff is the foundation of the world. You shoot the moon and you become incredibly interesting. Absolutely. You know, like the most boring font is like Times New Roman, but you know, we all rely on it. The most boring cereal helps you poop real good. You know, the most boring paint colors makes you feel calm when you stare at the wall for hours on end.

There's great things about being bored. What's the most boring cereal you think? Raisin Bran. Yeah, but there's raisins in there. There's got to be a cereal that's like, like total is just bran. I've never heard of total. Never heard of total. Look, I'm Korean. Korean breakfast is just last night's dinner with an egg on top. So I don't, we never did cereal. I think we should find this person, Peter. I think we should find them and ask them, what's it like? You know, what's it like to be the most boring person in the world? That would be lovely. I would love to hear that.

Okay. Our producer Haley and I are going to get on the phone, get on Google and try and find a person who fits this bill. They have to be religious. They have to be religious, they have to love TV, they have to live in a town, and they have to be a data entry worker. My name is Evan Halter. My name is Alex Cutler. I live in New Jersey. Are you religious? Yes, I am. Protestant, sort of like a non-denominational Christian. Yes.

Religion is a very important aspect of my life. I am Jewish Orthodox. Next question. Do you like watching TV? Oh yeah, definitely. I just kind of watched through Ozark up until the most recent season. I'm very interested to see how that's going to end. Yes, I'd say so.

I actually used to like to watch news all the time. So I was like a news junkie. Do you work in data entry? Yes, kind of. I do do some freelance data entry for like art collections and archives. Okay, the last question. Do you live in a town? I do not.

I live in a city. I live in Manhattan. Oh, dang. So three for four. So it just means I'm mostly boring. You are a little bit boring, but we need to keep searching, I think, to find someone who is fully boring. Do you live in a town? Yeah, I do. Great. Okay, so three out of four. Last question. Do you work in data entry? No, I don't. It's been days of searching and we still haven't found our person,

but we have one more number to call. Carlene, I have to ask you some questions. All right, let's give it a shot. Okay, okay, let's try it. First question, okay? Do you work in data entry? I do. I manage fundraising databases and therefore deal with a lot of data.

Okay. Are you religious? I am. I went to Camp Calumet Lutheran. I had perfect attendance in Sunday school growing up. I was president of my confirmation class. I worked for Lutheran Social Services, and I now work at Boston College High School, which is a Jesuit school for boys. That counts. Okay. Okay. Data entry religious. Next question.

Do you like watching TV? Oh my gosh, I love TV. Really? More than I should. What are your favorite shows? Let's see. So this week, I'm into Ozark. I recently just finished Counterpart with J.K. Simmons.

Okay, great. Okay. I'm nervous now because now you hit three out of four. Okay. Okay. Last one. Do you live in a town? I do. And I grew up in a town. Oh, my gosh. Doubleheader. Wow. You've fit all of these. Congratulations, Carleen.

You're the most boring person in the world. How does it feel? Wow. I don't think I'm boring. I mean, yeah, I don't think you're boring. Thank you. I'm a little starstruck right now. I never thought we would actually find someone who fits this bill.

What do you think, in your opinion, what the boring traits are? What should we be looking for? I mean, I don't want to paint everybody with the same brushstroke. Fair. If I were to talk about data integrations at every function that I went to, people might find that boring. But when I talk about data integrations with my other folks who present at data conferences with me, they get really excited and jazzed about it. You present at data conferences? I have. Yes.

Oh my gosh. What is that crowd like? Do you guys throw down? We get together and we just nerd out. And, you know, I've got a super secret Facebook group with some other data entry people, database managers. And I found that there are a group of folks who have a wicked sense of humor. Really? Really? I love that. The secret underbelly of data entry workers. That's right. That's right. Any last words from the person who is technically the most boring person in the world?

Any last words from the person who is technically the most boring person in the world? Oh, boy. Even if you are technically the most boring person in the world, you have things to share that other people will find interesting. You just have to sometimes get out of your shell and be willing to share it. Beautiful. Thank you, Carlene. I'm going to share that with every person who fits the bill. Thank you so much for sharing with us. Thanks for, Carleen. I'm going to share that with every person who fits the bill. Thank you so much for sharing with us. Thanks for having me today.

Here's the least boring part of the podcast, the credits. This show is brought to you by Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. This episode was produced by Haley Fager, Zola Ray, Lillian King, and Nancy Sechow, with help from Ian Chilog and Car from Car Talk. Our supervising producer is Jennifer Mills, and our water boy is Mike Danforth. Lorna White, thank you for jazzing up our sound once again. We love Lorna.

Thanks to the lovely Carlene Johnson for being the most interesting, boring person we've ever met. That seems kind of exciting to me. And to Alex Kotler and Evan Halter for being not quite boring enough. Cool, I guess. It's a little bit exciting to me. Cool, I guess. It's a little bit strange to me, you know. I love boring.

Thank you to my co-host, comedian, Wait Wait panelist, and one of my favorite Peters, Peter Gross. That's a very delicate dance. You can see Peter in person performing in the play Good Night Oscar, running through April 24th at the Goodman Theatre in Chicago. I'm Emma Choi, and you can find me at WaitWaitNPR and playing the near-time spelling bee, trying to convince the algorithm that boobie is a real word. Okay, that's it. I'm done. This is NPR. Bye-bye.

I assume I'm not the first person you're calling. So it must be challenging to find that. Yeah, we've been calling a lot of people.