Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Everyone & Dinosaurs

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

Wait Wait's Adam Burke joins Emma to discuss what really killed the dinosaurs; we answer the age old question: can jugglers save the world? And we meet someone who makes rocks more rock and roll.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Coming up, dinosaurs, the art of throwing stuff around, and our burning questions answered. I'm Emma Choi, and this is Everyone and Their Mom, a weekly show from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. I'm your host, Emma Choi. This is a show where we dig deeper into wait, wait stories we love. It's a magical, chaotic world where anything can happen, and I'm talking anything. Each week, I'll be joined by a different panelist and meet a bunch of geniuses and weirdos you're gonna love.

Today, my co-host is comedian, beloved Wait Wait panelist, and someone who I once dreamed I shared custody of my dog with. It's Adam Burke. Hi, Adam. Hi, Emma. So, Adam, it's spring break season. And this week, we came across a story that made me feel great about spending my spring break at my parents' house. Because get this, according to some scientists, spring break killed all the dinosaurs.

Yeah, it sounds weird. Let me explain. We finally know the answer to the question we have all wanted to know. What season did the dinosaurs get wiped out? Well, Adam, they died in spring. Okay, so everyone knows that millions of years ago, about 66 million years ago for being precise, a giant asteroid came down from space and hit the earth and then bam, no more dinosaurs. But for a long time, the question was, why did smaller reptiles, mammals and birds survive the asteroid initial impact while the dinosaurs didn't, right?

Well, after analyzing a bunch of crusty bones and science things, I don't know how it works, scientists have finally figured out that the answer has to do with seasons. The timing of the Yucatan impact during a particular sensitive stage of biological life cycles will help to explain why some organisms, such as most dinosaurs, died out while others survived. Crazy. Apparently, the asteroid hit in the beginning of spring for the northern hemisphere, which, as we all know from the movie Bambi, is a time where many animals are mostly staying inside, taking care of their

babies, getting out of the long animal nap of hibernation. And it turns out, it was those animals that stayed inside who actually ended up surviving the big impact. On the other hand, since dinosaurs were the more extroverted and outdoorsy species, they ended up being more disproportionately wiped out. Okay, so basically they were the frat brothers raging out on spring break and the asteroid was the food poisoning that knocked them all out in Kabul. And Adam, now we know that dinosaurs were in the middle of spring break when they died. Can you imagine what that would have been like? Yeah, well, I feel bad for the dinosaurs that were working on their summer bodies, you know,

that were just finally getting in shape. Dinosaur Spring Break, if that's not a Jimmy Buffett song, it's got to be on his next album, I think. Dinosaur Spring Break Pterodactyl, T-Rex, and they're sharing a cake I just love the image of, like, dinosaurs holding, ring, pterodactyl, T-Rex, and they're sharing a cake. I just love the image of dinosaurs holding stupid tiny little drinks with the little umbrellas in their stupid little hands, watching a meteor come down. And you're like, oh, what's that?

Well, again, if these are frat brother dinosaurs, you've got a very sophisticated version. Wouldn't they all be just chugging tall boys? Yeah. They all have like those beer hats on, you know? Tyrannosaurus Rex needs the beer hat because obviously it's tiny arms. Yeah. Adam, do you have any spring break stories? Yeah.

I went to university in a place called Sheffield. So our spring break was when someone would step away from the electric space heater and you got to huddle around it for four minutes. I'm trying to imagine the moment that, like, the animals came out of their homes and then they're like, what the hell? Because everything's different, you know? what do you think that moment was like? Well, do you ever have like a high school bully? Oh, yeah, sure. So it's kind of like it must have been realizing that your high school bully finally got sent to reform school, you know, because there's all these jerks been picking on these guys for like several million years. And then all of a sudden, you know, they crawl out.

It's like, I think those jerks with the big teeth are gone. But you don't like, they don't quite trust it. You know what I mean? Yeah. You think there was like a big mammal party? I think so. But I think it would have been very short-lived because they would have stepped out.

And I think first they would have noticed no more dinosaurs. Great. And then they would have noticed nuclear winter. Oh, no. It's a kind of a double-edged sword. Great. And then they would have noticed nuclear winter. Oh, no. It's kind of a double-edged sword. Yeah, but the mammals are the ones with fur and stuff. So they're the ones, they're prepped for nuclear winter.

True. The mammals are essentially the Midwesterners of the entire globe at that point. It's like, yeah, put on a jacket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. It's like, yeah, put on a jacket. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Adam, if the world was ending, right, and you got to leave, who and what would you bring with you to start a new civilization? Slumber party question? You'd want to think outside the box, wouldn't you?

Would you? I don't know. Maybe jugglers have some really good ideas. You know what I mean? Like someone we haven't sort of pegged to be the bedrock of society for a while. That would be a whimsical as hell society. I think that would be amazing. You're starting a new civilization.

It's probably good to have people more coordinated and aware of where their body is placed in space. Will you introduce yourself to us? My name is Sam Malcolm. I'm a professional comedian and juggler. So, Sam, we've heard that you are one of the best jugglers in the world and you've performed internationally. You have multiple awards. And I mean, how did you even get interested in juggling in the first place? I grew up on a reservation in Nevada and there's not a lot to do out there. Like you're kind of isolated in a lot of ways. And when I was in high school, I had an interest in spinning poi,

like I would spin glow sticks on shoestrings. And then I met a juggler in the small town near the reservation where I lived. So the town where I went to school and stuff, and this guy is juggling five flaming torches. And it's at sonic drive-in like the um the fast food restaurant so i run across the street and i go oh my god that is so cool i would love to like work with you or learn or something he teaches me how to juggle and i was like this is this is so much fun i just really love this we were talking about who we would want to build a new civilization with, right? So what do you think like a space colony of only jugglers would look like? Do you think it'd be functional? I think it would be functional. A lot of the people

attracted to juggling are more engineering types. And then I'm thinking about like the people that you see at juggling conventions and the kind of archetypes for that and there's a lot of tie-dye and cargo shorts of course we definitely have like a culture that would start from that in a society that's all jugglers right it sounds like a lot of juggling is like problem solving how do you think jugglers would approach problem solving in this new moon society people would probably find the most complicated way to solve the problem because juggling is a problem that humans create for themselves to then solve over and over. So if you use that mindset and applied it to a society, you'd have things like, well, you know, we could build a dam and this would make sense, but you know, what would look really cool. Yeah. We built the dam like

this and it's like, well, that might not be the most efficient way. And it's like, right. But it's a really fun problem to solve. Speaking of fun, you're one of the best jugglers in the world. So we want to play a game with you called will it juggle? So we're going to tell you some stuff and you tell us if you could juggle it. Make sense? All right. Yeah, I think I could follow it. Hell yeah, let's do it.

Two chairs and a suitcase, will it juggle? Absolutely. Good answer. Three raw chickens, will it juggle? Absolutely, they will juggle. Wash your hands afterwards. Okay, done. Three globs of raw muffin dough, blueberry flavored. Will it juggle?

Ooh, ah, what's the consistency of this blueberry dough? Uh, moist, but still malleable. Yeah, I would definitely juggle. If you could make it into a shape and hold it, it should juggle. Yes, awesome! Okay, a wolf, a cabbage, and a sheep, but the wolf and the sheep can't be in the air at the same time, and the sheep and the cabbage can never be alone together, okay?

Will it juggle? Yeah, you would do a pattern where you'd separate them all out. You'd do like a 4-2-3 is what it would be called. Oh my gosh. Yeah, you'd just try to keep them spatially separated from each other. Great. Okay, you're a single parent with three kids who all play intramural sports. You want to date again.

Will it juggle? I mean, with a lot of emotional work, I think it could. And it might be that, you know, you need to go to a juggling festival to meet somebody. Well, that's amazing. It sounds like everything can be juggled. So thank you so much, Sam. Yeah, absolutely. And I agree. I think everything can be juggled. You just have to be a little bit more creative on how you solve the problem, right? Well, do you want to join our new colonies, Sam? I think you'd make a great addition. I would love to. I would love to. Great. I'll send you an e-vite in your email. Adam, what's a way that you would want the world to end that would be so awesome, you wouldn't mind. I grew up listening to heavy metal a lot.

And I think if all the heavy metal videos from the 80s came true, then they'd play like a guitar riff and then... Yeah, like Mad Max, Fury Road style. Yeah, yeah. And they look at you and all of a sudden you've got cool clothes. You know what I mean? Yeah. I've been to heavy metal concerts that felt like the end of the world.

I kind of have the opposite thought. Like, I think that if the world ended in a really goofy way, I would just be too, I would be too tickled to be mad. You know, like, if, like, the syrup, the largest syrup factory, like, broke and the dams broke and like the whole world was flooded in like pancake syrup. It would be too hilarious for me to be mad about it, you know? Now, I'm assuming you're referring to the Massachusetts syrup flood, which is a real... Is that real? Well, did you not know about this? No, did I just manifest a natural disaster?

Yeah, I think it was at the turn of the century, the late 19th, early 20th century. There was a huge syrup. It sounds like I'm making it up. Yeah, that sounds so fake. I'm not having a stroke. But yeah, there was a giant syrup repository where all the syrup barons would keep their, I think it was molasses. Okay. And I think it was in Boston.

We fact-checked this, and Adam was right. This happened. It was called the Boston Molasses Disaster, and it happened in 1919. 2.3 million gallons of molasses burst from storage tanks and devastated the area. People say you could smell it on hot days for years after. Way to know a super fun history fact, Adam. Emma, if you happen to talk to a paleontologist, I want to know, apparently they don't know

whether there was more oxygen back when dinosaurs were alive. So some people think there was more oxygen. Some people think there was less oxygen. And I just want to know if dinosaurs, if Jurassic Park was real, would they all be asthmatics? Because I think that would be funny. Okay. Yes, that's a good question. I'll definitely write it down.

So like, you know, like teachers are supposed to say like, there's no stupid questions. But that was a stupid question. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Teachers are supposed to say, like, there's no stupid questions, but that was a stupid question. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. My name is Jingmei O'Connor, and I am the Associate Curator of Fossil Reptiles at the Field Museum of Natural History in Chicago. What do you think is the stereotype of a paleontologist?

An old white guy wearing khaki or, you know, like some kind of nerdy button-up shirt, t-shirt, button t-shirts you know what I mean that's like that's what paleontologists wear yeah and uh honestly the stereotype is it holds pretty true one of the reasons I was able to break that mold is because I went to China where they do not care at all what I did or what I looked like they only cared about bottom line productivity so like I got my lip ring in grad school and I did or what I looked like. They only cared about bottom line productivity. So I got my lip ring in grad school and I was like, oh, I'm always going to, I'm going to take it out when I graduate and get a job. And then I showed up in China and I'm like, nobody cares. So I just kept it. Were you a dinosaur kid growing up? No. But I'm like literally the only paleontologist who was not a dinosaur kid growing up. Oh my God.

Literally all of them are dinosaur kids. Like they're all like, here's a picture of me holding a dinosaur at the age of three or five. And so I've actually been joking that I need to like Photoshop a picture of myself with a dinosaur toy. And be like, oh, look, here's me caring about dinosaurs. Not. On your website, you call yourself the punk rock paleontologist. Some reporter gave me that nickname because I named a species after Greg Graffin, who's the lead singer of Bad Religion. If I could, I would name them all after Keanu Reeves. I'm kidding.

Sort of. Revasaurus. Let me throw this at you, okay? I have a theory that if I were to fight a T-Rex and I had a switchblade and a can of mace, I would win in a fight. As a scientist, do you think I could do it? Nope. Yeah. No. Like, you would need, like, if a switchblade is not big enough, you need a much bigger blade. Like, maybe a bowie knife.

Even better, like, a machete, I would say. I mean, the mace would help because T-Rex has really, really good vision, so it definitely would have relied on its vision in order to track you as its prey. But also, it's really big, so trying to spray it in the eyes would be really difficult, unless you were hiding in a tree and waiting for it to go by and

spray them. It kind of sounds like you've thought about this a lot, no? No, I swear I'm not one of those T-Rex nerds. I'm kidding. But I literally have not thought about it, but it's like, no, no, that wouldn't work. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm going to write that down in my journal.

So we have a question from our friend Adam Burke, and we'd love your help to help us get us an answer. First of all, do you know if there was more oxygen or less oxygen in the atmosphere when the dinosaurs were alive? Actually, there's more oxygen now than there was during the age of the dinosaurs. But oxygen levels are always fluctuating. So, for example, like 300 million years ago before the dinosaurs, there was actually way more oxygen than there is now. But during the age of the dinosaurs, there was less. Seeing that there was less than now comparatively,

if there were to be a Jurassic Park-esque situation today, would those dinosaurs have asthma? So asthma is like just a constriction of your airways. It has nothing to do with oxygen levels. It just means that your throat's all like clenched together and you can't actually breathe in air, period. And actually, I looked it up because I was like, do dinosaurs get asthma? And by do dinosaurs, I was like do dinosaurs get asthma and by do dinosaurs i mean do birds get asthma and i did find evidence that there is like some asthmatic thing that affects at least this one species of parrots it doesn't seem to be very widespread

though but uh yeah so i think dinosaurs would be fine with the higher oxygen levels they'd probably like it even better it'd probably be pretty dangerous for us. Yeah. I mean, paleontologists work on all sorts of crazy shit like dinosaur farts and dinosaur poop, but I have never heard of anybody studying dinosaur asthma. Hey, you could be the first. Science is amazing. And you're amazing. So thank you so much for talking to us about this stuff.

I learned so much. Yeah, no problem. Thank you so much for having me. Hello? Hi, Emma. Hi, Emma. How are you? Awesome. Good. I'm just going to let you know that we talked to a paleontologist about your question, and it turns out there was more oxygen now than there was in dino times. So that's cool. Oh, okay. So they, yeah, so they wouldn't be short of breath. They would be super, super breathy. So here's what I found out. Oxygen actually has nothing to do with asthma levels.

So she was surprised that you, that was your question. And we were both kind of wondering what made you think of this question? Um, well, I mean, apparently it's because I'm an idiot, I guess. It's nice to be told you're an idiot by an expert. That's nice. No, she didn't say idiot. She just said it was kind of silly. Were you watching Jurassic Park during like, I wonder if they have asthma? No, I think I just read a thing one time about how the oxygen levels were different. I don't know. I just thought

the sight of, you know, a bronchitis with an inhaler would be funny. With bronchitis, sure. Also, Adam, we looked at your molasses fact and it's true. That happened. So, congrats. Yeah, okay. So, one out of two ain't bad. Well, thank you, Adam, we looked up your molasses fact, and it's true. That happened. So congrats. Yeah. Okay. So one out of two ain't bad. Well, thank you, Adam. I'll let you go now.

Take care, Emma. Bye. Bye. Here's my favorite part of the podcast, the credits. This show is brought to you by Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. This episode was produced by Hayley Fager, Zola Ray, Lillian King, Nancy Seichow, and Charles Entertainment Chiefs. Our supervising producer is Jennifer Mills, and our malevolent overlord is Mike Danforth. And thank you, Mike, for sharing your dulcet tones with us this week. You sing like an angel. Also, remember that time you fell on the

ice? Once again, Lorna White, you are the best in the world at making our voices sound good. Thank you. Thanks to Ars Technica for their reporting in that clip you heard about when the dinosaurs died. R.I.P. dinosaurs. Thanks to Sam Malcolm for talking us through the juggle struggle. Can I turn these off, the recorders? Find out more information on him and his shows at sammalcolm.com. That's S-A-M-M-A-L-C-O-L-M dot com.

That's S-A-M-M-A-L-C-O-L-M dot com. Dr. Jigme O'Connor, thank you for talking to us about your work and answering Adam's questions and showing us your cool tattoos. I have a coelacanth and I have a plesiosaur. Visit Dr. O'Connor at paleontologist.com and paleontologist on Instagram and Twitter. That's P-A-L-E-O-N-T-O-L-O-G-I-S-T-A. Thank you to my co-hosts, comedian, WaitWait panelists, and buddy. Hi, this is Adam Burke. Adam Burke. I can't come to the phone right now. You can see Adam Burke in person at the Laugh Tap in Milwaukee. Because I'm on my other phone. On March 18th and 19th. If I'm not on my other phone, I'm on my tablet. And if I'm not on my tablet, I'm probably on my computer.

I'm Emma Choi, and you can find me at WaitWaitNPR and at the Talkeria ordering a side of rice and a side of chicken separately because that's how I like it, okay? I'm done. This is NPR. Or I might be on my e-reader. Or I might be on my e-reader. Anyway, leave a message, and once I'm off all those other devices, I might check this phone.