Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Everyone & Games

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

Emma discovers a room of lost games! This secret box of treasures teaches us how to lasso, manage conflict, and make friends forever.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Okay, guys. Hi, I'm Emma the Rock Choi. And this is Everyone and Their Mom, a show from the dorks that wait, wait, don't tell me. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, hey, what's going on? Why does this episode feel way more punk rock than usual? Good perceptiveness, my friends. This is because, one, I am wearing extra thick black eyeliner right now. And two, because this week we're in the game room. Game room. Game room.

So every week we play a bunch of fun games with our guests, and everyone loves it. But what happens to the games we tape but don't make it to air? Well, they end up here, in the game room. Game room. Game room, game room, game room. But keep your voices down because technically I'm not supposed to be in here. Because apparently if you modify a chocolate fountain with hydraulic military grade jets in the wait wait office and it shoots up so high that it breaks the ceiling, they limit your access around the building? Whatever. But anyways, let's start opening these babies up.

So sometimes our games are cute and clever, and sometimes they're purely practical. For example, you might remember Randy Savvy, the amazing Compton cowboy who was on the show recently. He told us about what it's like to be a modern cowboy. And afterwards, I was left with one big question. Basically, you're a cowboy, and you probably have to lasso stuff all the time. So we wanted to gauge your lassoing skills and run some things by you and see if you could lasso them.

Does that make sense? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, cool. A toaster oven, can you lasso that? Probably not. It's a little small. How about a regular person, but they're doing the YMCA? Can you lasso that? Definitely. Okay, cool. The arms don't get in the way?

Nope. Great. How about Ted Lasso? Can you lasso Ted Lasso? Ted Lasso? I don't even know who Ted Lasso is, honestly. I probably could lasso him, though. Yeah. I mean, I could pretty much lasso any person. Oh, good to know. Okay, how about a jellyfish? Can you lasso that? Probably not.

It's too small and it's too squeaky and slippery. Can you lasso another lasso? Oh, probably. How about a plastic bag drifting through the wind waiting to start again? Can you lasso it? Ah, sounds elusive. I'd probably be busting my back all day trying to do that. Something to work towards.

How about bagel bites? Can you lasso it? If somebody gave me a little handheld one, I could probably swoop. I love that. Oh my God. Well, thank you so much for playing your game and for being on this show.

This was really fun. Appreciate you, Emma. Keep running it up and doing your thing. And much love to y'all. So basically, you can lasso anything that has arms. Thanks, Randy. The next one I have here is a delightful little game we played with my friend Ashley Ray. That week on the show, we talked about a job posting in Montana for a grizzly bear

conflict manager. So we thought it would be helpful to run Ashley through hypothetical conflicts someone might have to manage. Okay, Ashley, I want to play a game. Okay. So I want you to pretend that you're the grizzly bear conflict manager, okay? We're going to present you with a conflict that would be troubling for a bear, and you help it by giving it a productive I statement, right? Like, I feel like I've been treated unfairly because you tied up your leftover hamburger helper at your campsite, and I feel like I want to eat you. That make sense?

Yes. Let's do it. A bear is arrested for indecent exposure because it only wore a tiny red t-shirt and no pants to the mall. I statement. I feel as though you don't understand how difficult it is to find a pant that fits such a hippie bear. You know, it's always tight through the thigh, too loose at the waist. I look a fool. Wonderful. I look a fool.

Next. A sneaky Hugh Grant frames an adorable talking bear for a crime in London, sending the bear to jail and taking him away from his beloved marmalade. I statement it. I feel as though you're taking advantage of a terrible criminal justice system and leveraging it against a minority bears and using the inherent fear humans have against bears against me, which is discrimination. Absolutely. One more. A blonde girl goes into a bear's house and tries every porridge to see which one is the right temperature. Give the bear a statement, Ashley. I feel like you're really operating from a place of white female privilege here. This is my home. Why should anything be right for you?

And done. That's amazing. Thank you so much, Ashley. Thank you for having me. That's amazing. Thank you so much, Ashley. Thank you for having me. Welcome back to the game room, my friends. Over the break, I found a box called Squid Game Junior, and now I'm scared. I love this next game because I got to bounce some silly little questions off Maeve Higgins. And I also got to know her personal boundaries.

Do you want to play a game, Maeve? Yes, please. Yes. Okay. So we're going to play a game with you called Hello or No. Today we learned that dolphins recognize each other in a unique way, which makes us think of that moment when you see someone and you recognize them and you have to make that split second decision to say hello or to not say hello yeah we're going to tell you about an encounter and you tell us if you would say hello or say no okay great okay let's try it okay great great practice um you're a college friend who didn't invite you to their wedding hello or no hello i really appreciated not being invited to your wedding. Because as you know, I have a history of sleeping with the groom. Your favorite person walking with your least favorite person.

Hello or no? No. And hide behind the trash can. Yes. Someone in the elevator from work, but it's 6 a's 6am and you have a long ride up and they love to talk. Hello or no? I mean you have to say hello. I know. Elevator's very small. It's true. Okay. Someone with a cute dog and you said hello to the dog. Hello or no? I guess yes. I mean hello. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I find it so insane that people just say hi to animals and not to the people who are, you know, holding them on a rope or whatever.

Someone who interviewed you for a job and you didn't get it and they just moved in next door. Hello or no? Hello. I'm going to make your life hell. And I'll tell you how I'll make your life hell. I'll tell you the wrong days for recycling on this date great

someone who you follow on Instagram and recently accidentally liked a really old post hello or no no I would jump into the nearest body water okay well you won Maeve, congrats oh I'm thrilled I'm just so happy

thanks Maeve. Congrats. Oh, I'm thrilled. Oh, I'm just so happy. Thanks, Maeve. Thanks, Emma. Wow, there truly is so much cool stuff in the game room. For example, a bin full of loose chess pieces that are all carved to look like Bill Curtis, and a bunch of Rubik's Cubes that someone clearly tried to eat. Anyways, here's another game. A couple months back, we made a graduation episode with our friend Hari Kondabolu. And Hari has some advice for staying in touch with friends from college. Keep in touch. You know, I know that's very hacky and everyone says keep in touch. But when they say keep in touch, some people don't really mean it. So you just got to figure out

who the real people are and who aren't and just keep in touch with those people. When I started doing stand-up, I crashed on so many couches of people I went to college with. Some that I was close with, some that I was only like, I knew tangentially, but they all wanted to support what I was doing. So you never know when you're going to need a couch. Well, I'm a student, so I hit the streets during commencement week at my college to find out who's my real friend and would let me sleep on their couch. Can you introduce yourself for me? Yeah, I'm Evans. I'm a senior in Cabot House, a future graduate. Yeah! Where are you going to live after graduation?

I'll be in Cambridge. Are you going to have a couch? Hopefully, yeah. Can I crash on it? Absolutely, anytime. Hi, my name is Emma. I am a graduating senior. And we're going to be next year. When am I going to be next year?

I don't know, we'll see. Maybe Providence, Rhode Island, the best city on earth. Will you have a couch? No. You're not going to have a couch? I don't know, I mean, we'll see. If you do, can I stay on it? I don't know. I mean, we'll check in later, but I'll definitely have a kitten, and that kitten will have its own couch.

Ouch. That's fine. My name's Jay. And you're my friend, right? Yes. Okay, where are you going to live after graduation? I will actually be here in Boston. I'll be going to med school here. Are you going to have a couch?

Am I going to have a couch? Honestly, we have a couch in our dorm right now, but will I be able to move it over? It's yet to be seen. Do you think you'll have a couch eventually? I will have a couch eventually. Can I stay on it? You can stay on it for a certain amount of time. How long?

Less than a month. Perfect. Thank you, Jay. Oh god, okay. I can hear Peter's heavy yet jaunty footsteps nearby, so I gotta go. But thanks for visiting the game room with me. But remember, don't tell NPR I was here. If I get another strike, they're gonna make me sing My Heart Will Go On on Tiny Desk. And I do not have the range for that. Here's my favorite part of the podcast, the credits.

This show was brought to you by Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. This episode was produced by Haley Fager, Zola Ray, and Nancy Seychal. With help from Lillian King, Sophie Hernandez-Semillon-Nutis, Blythe Robertson, Oja Lopez, and Coco Mellon. Our supervising producer is Jennifer Mills, and our Logan Roy is Mike Danforth. Once again, Lorna White, thank you so much for helping us with our sound. It sounds great. Thanks to all the panelists and guests you heard today. We love them so freaking much. I'm Emma Choi, and you can find me at WaitWaitNPR,

and trying to figure out how much it would cost to build a Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory. I guess like a lot? Okay that's it. This is NPR.