Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Everyone & Monkey Business

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

Comedian Emmy Blotnick joins Emma Choi to discuss a smooth solution to a monkey problem, we hear from a romantic heartworm, and maybe, sort of meet Ian McKellen?Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Coming up, it's a couple monkeys, some R&B, and an attempt to save the future. I'm Emma Choi, and this is Everyone and Their Mom. Hi guys, welcome to Everyone and Their Mom, a weekly podcast from Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. I'm Emma Choi. Maybe you know me from the credits of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me or my face from the Instagram that I did a lot of stuff on. But I'm Wait Wait's social media person and I'm hosting this podcast that you are listening to. This is our space to dig into the weird and awesome stories we find on Wait Wait, the kind of story everyone and their mom is talking about, or would talk about if they knew about it. Each week I'll be joined by a different Wait, Wait panelist, and this week it's Emmy Blotnick.

You know Emmy as a comedian and a writer. She's been on The Tonight Show, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, and so many other things. Hi, Emmy. Hey, Emma Choi. What's happening? Oh, I'm just doing my thing. Emmy, before we start, what did you have for breakfast today? I ordered three sandwiches, one breakfast and two lunch, and then my breakfast was half of one of the lunch ones.

So it's a geometry problem that I pose to your listeners to solve. Yeah. Okay, Emmy, let's get down to it. So the whole reason we're here today is to talk about a zoo in England who hired a Myron Gay impersonator to get a pair of their monkeys in the mood. Did you hear about this? Oh, did I hear about it? I've been watching performance clips. I'm researching the impersonator's other work. I'm really into this one. Me too. Well, for someone who is not that deep into it yet, let's get them deep in. So the Trenta monkey forest in Stanfordshire, England,

is home to two tribes of the endangered species Barbary macaques, which are kind of monkey. They kind of look like old guys at the beach. Is that fair? Yeah, that's very fair. The Trenton Monkey Forest wanted to, quote, boost the monkey love because the Barbary macaques are, of course, endangered. And to encourage the species to grow, they hired a Marvin Gaye impersonator named David Largy. hired a Marvin Gaye impersonator named David Largy. And David sang them a couple of Gaye's trademark smoothie love songs, including the iconic Let's Get It On.

And, Emmy, you know this, but they didn't just, like, play him over the loudspeakers of the zoo. They, like, got the impersonator. They got him in a white suit. They got him a microphone. He sang his heart out. The video is so good because he's just, like, he's standing in the middle of their habitat and it's just, he can't around.

It's just individual monkeys sitting alone. It's true. Like when a bingo hall is sparsely attended. It does not look like they're about to, you know, start smashing bananas, if you know what I mean, listeners. Well, this performance might have actually worked. In a statement, the Monkey Forest people said that some of the monkeys were exhibiting, quote, lovey-dovey characteristics, like grooming each other and chattering their teeth and probably DMing each other on Instagram. It's got to be crazy being a musician, like performing for a bunch of monkeys.

How does someone even book a gig like that? You know what? Let's ask him. Right. OK. Yeah. My name is David Largy. I'm 59 coming up to 60. I'll be 60 next month. I'm a professional entertainer, singer. Would you just tell us the story of how this gig came to you and what it was like to sing to these monkeys too? Someone said they needed a Marvin Gaye tribute or impersonator or someone who could sing some Marvin Gaye songs. The agent applied to me and I said, well, OK, we'll take a listen.

Then I found out it was a monkey forest. And at first I thought about it, I was like, well, okay, we'll take a listen. Then I found out it was a monkey forest. And at first I thought about it. I was like, well, that's a bit weird, isn't it? And then singing to monkeys. But I said to myself, okay, this sounds interesting, although it's a bit unusual. You're basically asked to save a species from extinction. That's a lot of pressure.

It worked for us. So why would it work for the animals? They came. It was time to perform. Went down there. And they gave me a bit of a lesson on things I should do and things I shouldn't do in front of the monkeys. I got my briefing. And then I just performed.

Do you think it worked? I think the monkeys were saying, what's going on? Last year, they had nine babies born. Prior to that, their best has been 13. So we're going to keep a close eye on this. And we're going to see. And if there's any improvement, which I suspect there will be, because I'm involved, we'll see what comes of it.

I mean, it sounds like you're about to be godfathered to a bunch of little monkey babies, which is a huge honor. I got a bit of experience. I have six grandchildren, so I'm very, I have a bit of experience. You must really have a sense of the mind of Marvin Gaye to get into his love song. So we want to play a game with you called WWMGD. What would Marvin Gaye do? We'll give you some hypothetical situations and you can tell us what Marvin Gaye would do in that situation. Does that sound okay?

Yep, sounds good. You stub your toe. What would Marvin Gaye do? Woo! You find $10. What would Marvin Gaye do? Just put it in his pocket. Finders keepers.

You find a stray cat. What would Marvin Gaye do? Yeah, Marvin Gaye will look after that cat. He'll take that cat. You can't sleep and you have an important meeting in the morning. What would Marvin Gaye do? Yeah, Marvin Gaye will look after that cat. He'll take that cat. You can't sleep and you have an important meeting in the morning. What would Marvin Gaye do? He'd have himself a smoke, man. He'd have a smoke or something.

Drink or both. Okay, this one's a little complicated. You get the wrong dish at a restaurant. Do you eat it, send it back, or something else? What would Marvin Gaye do? Wrong dish, send it back. With lots of compliments and lots of subtlety, but that would be sent back.

Yeah, smoothness, suavité. Okay, this one's more specific. You're on a runaway trolley that's headed straight towards five people who are tied up and can't move. Okay. You have the option, however, to pull a lever that will switch the tracks

and kill only one person who is standing on the track. What do you do? Make the active choices aside through your actions to sacrifice one person or the passive choice to let the train kill five. Oh, God. What would Marvin Gaye do? Marvin Gaye would have to kill the one. The one would have to be killed. Wow. Yeah. One last question. Marvin Gaye is sitting in a car doing an interview and someone asked him to sing Happy Birthday. OK, what. Marvin Gaye is sitting in a car doing an interview, and someone asked him to sing Happy Birthday, okay? What would Marvin Gaye do? Sing.

Just in a tasteful way, he'd be like, Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Emma. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Emma. Happy birthday to you. Thank you so much. It's not my birthday, but now it is. Thank you for your contribution to the Monkey Society. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you.

Emmy, this zoo is trying to fix an animal's problem with a human solution, right? Can you think of any animal solutions to human problems? Let me throw this one at you. There was an incredible deal on big trays of chicken wings at my grocery store. I have way too many chicken wings. So I've been giving them to my dog as little treats. Now I think they're too old. I think they're too old now.

And I think the dog's solution is eat them anyway. I will point out, I mean, that I think that your animal solution is just food poisoning. Yes. Maybe it's I need to your animal solution is just food poisoning. Yes. Maybe it's I need to take up like a heartworm medication. Heartworms. When you think about it, that's an animal these monkeys could learn from. Who better to teach us about love than a heartworm? They live in the heart, where love comes from.

Salutations. You can call me Dilophilaria imitis, heartworm, demon yarn. You know when people say, that thing of when they say, it's not what's outside that matters, it's what's in here, and they point to your chest? Well, it's me. I'm in there. A lot of people are reviled by me. You know, they think about a heartworm. They think, oh, it's disgusting spaghetti that ruins my dog. I'm so much more than that. I remember I was in this beautiful polyamorous relationship with about 25 other worms. We were in the heart

of a great dame. And, you know, I couldn't pick out one that I loved more than the other. It was just this beautiful, infinite experience. Male, female, anything in between. Impossible to tell. But we loved each other. Heart Room, what is love? Oh, love. Love is sweet.

Love is sweet like the sugars and fats in a bloodstream. Love is being with all of your friends and all of your lovers in one tight, small space. And being so fond of each other that maybe it hurts someone else. That's love. You know, there are no rules. Who's going to stop you? Well, anti-parasitics could stop you. But besides that, there is no law about love. Be messy with it. Wow, those are some deep love lessons from a heartworm, Emmy. But back to the story. I do think it's kind of weird to use an impersonator to solve a problem. You know, like, I guess what kind of impersonator would work best for you? Like, who was your Marvin Gaye at the zoo?

I always like a super dignified old British person. So, like, give me your Sir Ian McKellen. Give me your Dame Judi Dench. What would insert Sir Ian McKellen impersonator scratch your Dame Judi Dench. What would it would insert Ian McKellen like in person or scratch into your life? I didn't have grandparents. I'm sorry. That's so sad. Hello, Emmy. This is your grandfather, Ian McKellen. I'm thinking of you. That's why I called. It's a sort of an old-fashioned thing, you know. A lot of people text these days, but I'm afraid I don't have the thumbs for it.

But, Emmy, I want to just let you know how very, very proud I am of you. You and I share experience upon the stage, but it's a very, very different attitude. Where I perform on stage, everyone's, you stage, everyone's paid a lot of money. They've gotten all dressed up and they're sitting there very quietly. In a stand-up comedian's venue, there's often people yelling at the stage. So you've got to manage that and your material and keep creative and light and frothy. And so I just say, my hat is off to you. You're doing a magnificent job soldiering on in a very, very difficult field.

Anyway, you've been very good to listen to me so far, my dear. And I do miss you. I hope to see you soon. Just was thinking of you. And no need to call me back, by the way. I probably won't be home. Going to go out and walk the dog, if I can find him. Anyway, ta-ta.

And now it's time for the best part. Credits! This show is brought to you by Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the show that gives you something to talk about with your dad. This episode was produced by Hayley Fager, Zola Ray, Lillian King, Nancy Seychow, and Frodo Baggins. Our special thanks to Lorna White for being our sound wizard. Our supervising producer slash girl boss is Jennifer Mills,

and our she-zegative is Mike Danforth. Special thanks to our comedian and my best friend. I'm this beautiful thing that just loves passion. Vinnie Thomas for being the heartworm of our dreams. You can see more from Vinnie on Twitter at V-I-N-N underscore A-Y-Y. Thanks to our Ian McKellen and Emmy's grandpa and personer, Jim Meskimen. Yeah, that's right, Meskimen. See more of Jim's impressions at Jim Prescience on YouTube, which is an amazing name.

David Largy, thank you so much for telling us what it was like to sing sexy, sexy songs for monkeys at the Trenton Monkey Forest in England. Please be my friend forever. All right, fantastic. Thank you. Thank you to the Trenta Monkey Forest for their audio of David singing to the monkeys. That song, of course you heard, was made famous by the one and only Marvin Gaye.

Thank you to my co-host, comedian, wait-wait panelist, and woman who doesn't have heartworms, actually. That would be cute as hell. Emmy Blotnick. You can check out her stand-up album Party Nights on all streaming services. I'm Emma Choi, and you can find me on Instagram at WaitWaitNPR and at the intersection of two trolley tracks, Lover in Hand, about to make a very difficult ethical decision. Okay, I'm done. This is NPR. Okay, I'm done. This is NPR.

Hey, Emi, speaking of impersonators, do you want to try impersonate me? I'm a college student, so I live in a tunnel and I mostly move around at night. Do you think I'm a gopher? Why is it so hard to do an Emma Choi? Well, I'm an enigma, so. Okay, there we go. I'm an enigma. I'm Emma Choi well I'm an enigma so okay there we go I'm an enigma I'm Emma Choi and I'm an enigma well I mean it was so fun to talk to you yeah pretty wild goodbye