Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Geena Davis

Episode Date: February 11, 2023

Geena Davis went from being an Oscar-winning actor to a skilled archer to an activist to an author, and she's now executive producer of CBS' Mission Unstoppable. But, can she answer our three questions about blue jeans?Sign up for Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me+ via Apple Podcasts or at plus.npr.org.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WPEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Forget about the Eagles and Chiefs. I'll be your Super Bill, Bill Curtis. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Sagal, it's Tom Papa. Thanks, Bill. Thanks, everybody. I am Tom Papa, and for that other proud papa, Peter Sagal. Peter is on his second week of paternity leave,

so we can only expect he will try and break back into the show sometime around our bluff game. Stay strong, Peter. Later on, Gina Davis, the Hollywood icon and last person you want to ride shotgun with, will be joining us. But before you drive your car off a cliff, give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now it's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hey, how's it going? My name is Jonathan Pogre, calling in from Sacramento, California. Nice to hear from you, Jonathan. How's Sacramento these days? Not as rainy as it has been, which is a good thing. That's good. How did your place hold up during all the rains? Did you have a sump pump going? Were you okay?

We were fine. Had a few neighbors here and there unfortunately had the trees come down, but luckily as far as we know, everyone came out of it okay. Oh, that's great. That's good. And why did you, why did, do you live in an all stone house? Why did, why were you? I mean, it is a testament to the construction. The house that I'm in is almost a hundred years old, built in 1925. Well, that's great. Nothing better than an old house.

Jonathan, let's introduce you to our panel. First up, a comedian headlining the Holt Center in Eugene, Oregon. On March 16th, it's Hari Kondabolu. Hello. Hello, Jonathan. Hey there. Next up, it's the comedian who will be performing a comedy off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky on February 23rd through the 25th. It's Alonzo Bowden. Hey, Jonathan. How are you? I'm doing great, Alonzo. How are you? Good. And the comedian

you can see at the Taft Theater in Cincinnati, Ohio on March 17th, it's Paula Poundstone. Hey, Jonathan. Hey, Paula. All right. Welcome to the show, Jonathan. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you choose on your voicemail. Are you ready? Let's do this.

All right. Your first quote comes from President Joe Biden talking about the big issues facing Middle America. We'll ban the surprise resort fees. That was one of the bold proposals the president offered in what big speech this week? That would be the State of the Union Address. Yes, good job. The State of the Union Address. CNN called the speech Vintage Biden,

while most Americans call the president Vintage Biden. As you heard Bill say, Biden took a tough stance on the pressing issue of high resort fees. Why was this his issue? Did Biden have a bad vacation at Camp David recently? You know, I thought since I was president, the minibar was free, but then bam, 12 bucks for the mixed nuts. Come on, man. You know what?

Come on, man. You know what? As a person who stays in a lot of hotels, and I don't stay in resorts, but they throw these fees on, and they call it resort fee. They always have some reason to put in a fee. Paula, I travel like you. They're annoying, and what they did was how they switched charging for the Internet. They used to charge $15 for the internet. Now they're like,

the internet's free, but the resort fee is $15. So, you know what I like? That we have a president who cares about stand-up comics issues. I was about to say. Finally. What better? Finally somebody's reaching us where we get hit in the pocket.

But that's a good point that Paula brought up. I mean, is a Days Inn on the side of 95 a resort? Yeah, with the clubs I'm working, Tom, yeah. Unfortunately. Tom, any time I'm in a hotel that doesn't have a number in the name, I'm living it up. It's not a six. It's not an eight.

It's got a name. Step up. Fancy. I always feel good when you pull into the parking lot of the hotel and they have that sign where they put the letters up themselves, and it says, phones. Color TV. This is going to be good.

There was some drama. Mitt Romney, of all people, was seen fighting with George Santos. It's so weird. Until Tuesday night, I didn't even think my mouth could make the words, Get him, Mitt Romney. Romney told Santos he should

be embarrassed and you don't belong here. And Santos replied, Bel belong here? I'm the president. Wait, wait, you mean he's not? All right, Jonathan, here's your next quote. The front row will be discounted by $2. That was the Hollywood Reporter talking about the new tiered ticketing system. Where? That's going to be at AMC Theaters. That's right. At the movies. Going to the movies just got a lot worse. AMC Movie Theaters are instituting

a new ticket policy where you'll pay more for good seats than for bad seats. The price breakdowns make a lot of sense. $8 for the front row, $12 for the middle, and $1 for the seat next to your mom during a sex scene. Is AMC aware no one goes to the movies anymore? Have they heard that in this new tiered pricing thing? I mean, everybody just waits two weeks to stream it at home, right? Yeah, it seems like a weird move to make things more unpleasant when we're already just watching things on our phone in any seat we want.

I think they were at the board meeting and said, we've got to speed up this bankruptcy. I think they were at the board meeting and said, we got to speed up this bankruptcy. All right, Jonathan, your last quote is from Jason Kelsey, a football player and expectant father. If it happens during the game, we got to name her Super. Kelsey was talking about what's going to happen if his wife goes into labor while he's playing in what big game this weekend? I think that'll be the Super Bowl. That's right, the Super Bowl. It would have been so great if I just said puppy bowl. I'm so excited for the game. It's going to be amazing to watch when out of an abundance of caution, Joe Biden shoots down the Goodyear blimp.

As we mentioned, the wife of the Eagles center, Jason Kelsey, will be attending the game 39 weeks pregnant. And so they're bringing their OBGYN with them so they can have the baby at the stadium if necessary. What fun. They can celebrate by dumping a thing of Gatorade on the mom. The thing about him saying that if the baby's born during the game, he's going to name the baby Super. You know his wife is like, no you're not. It'd be ridiculous. A lot of people have videos of their kids being born, but this birth can be on the Jumbotron. This is the first time you show fans what happens when the kiss cam goes too well. And his brother is on the other team. Yeah, yeah, brothers playing against each other.

It's got to be tough for their mom. I mean, she flies to both games and this and that, but does she celebrate and console at the same time at the end of this game, or does she just pick the winner as, that one was my favorite? She was playing, she has been all over the place. She was on SportsCenter, she even asked the first question at the NFL Commissioner's Press Conference. Unfortunately, the question was,

do you want to see this baby picture of Jason and Travis in a bath together? Wait, is that real? No, I just blacked out. I was having a... Bill, how did Jonathan do? Perfect. Jonathan studied for this one.

Nice job, Jonathan. Perfect. Thank you so much, guys. I had a blast. This is a bucket list item for me. Oh, well, you did great. Thank you so much, Jonathan. Say goodbye to Jonathan, everybody. to Jonathan everybody. Bye, Jonathan.

Jonathan. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Paula, we read this week about a populist protest demanding a three-day weekend. A protest started by whom?

Jeez, can I have a hint, Tom? I have no idea. Sure, I'll give you a hint. A two-day weekend is not enough to recover from the stress of learning subtraction. Elementary school students? Yes, a six-year-old. Wow! A six-year-old, Brody Kenyon, a six-year-old from Georgia, took to social media to demand an additional day off

from the hard work of being in first grade. And if you think we're exaggerating by calling this a populist protest, listen to this. Hey, I'm Brody, and this is for the government, and I'm protesting, and I want three days off of school. That's right. Brody made that announcement in the middle of a sit-in that continued until his mom unbuckled his car seat. Wait, Tom, can we go back a second? Yes, sir.

A six-year-old went to social media. What does that mean, Tom, can we go back a second? Yes, sir. A six-year-old went to social media. What does that mean, Tom? That means these are the end of time, sorry. He took out his phone, he went on TikTok. Yeah, he has a TikTok account. He's done with school. He just wants more time on his phone. So this happened in Georgia?

Yes, sir. So this is obviously a Herschel Walker supporter. I mean, first grade was tough for Herschel. Let's face it. It's early morning. I'm on my way. Gonna work so hard. Gonna work all day. Coming up, our panelists take a trip to Montana in our Bluff the Listener game.

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Hari Gondabolu, Paula Poundstone, and Alonzo Bowden. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Sagal, Tom Papa. Thanks, Bill. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Butch Labor from Phoenix, Arizona.

Oh, Phoenix, Arizona. So you're very close to where the Super Bowl is being played. Yes, we are overrun with tourists this week. Traffic is horrible. Yeah, we looked up where the Super Bowl was going to be played, and they said Glendale. And we're like, that's not a thing. It is.

It's a nice little side community next to the west side of Phoenix. And our weather's great, so all the Midwesterners are down here with their vans and whatever. So we're overrun with tourists. Great. All right, Butch, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill? My Montana holiday.

There's so many reasons to visit Montana. Glacier National Park, the Rocky Mountains, you might see that Chinese spy balloon. Our panelists are going to tell you about people taking a memorable trip to Montana. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you will win our prize. The wait-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I am ready. All right good luck. First up

it's Hari Kondabolu. After years of bitterly watching South Dakota's annual Sturgis motorcycle rally the Montana Board of Tourism finally found their answer. The first ever scooter rally in Bozeman. Thousands of Vespas and mopeds riding around with the Rocky Mountains behind them. What God absolutely had not intended. Like most New Yorkers, Jocelyn Bonadio never dreamed of going to Montana. Quote, I'm a big city person. I like buildings, trains, and minorities. But when she heard about the scooter rally, she hopped on her Vespa and drove there as fast as she could,

45 miles per hour. The rally closed with rapper Lil Jon making a special appearance and playing some of his hits, including a revised version of Get Low. He sang, To Missoula, to Great Falls, till the sweat drips off my Vespa, till all scoot, scoot, scoot, scoot, scoot, till all scoot, scoot, scoot, scoot, scoot.

That's Scooter Alley from Hari Kanabolu. Your next story of a Montana-cation comes from Paula Poundstone. Hundreds of entrants in the Three Forks Rodeo, pronounced Rodeo, not rodeo, arrived in Three Forks, Montana, only to find no such event. Gone was the Three Forks Rodeo website where they had registered, divulged private information, and paid to compete in events where they dress up livestock in clothes and receive points for both speed and fashion. The average victim lost over $2,000 in registration fees and hotel accommodations, not to mention the medical expenses

and supply costs for the fashions themselves we don't think this fraud was committed by locals says detective bob ross of three forks pd but we're asking anybody who knows anything about this to contact the three forks pd and just as a matter of safety, do not try to dress your livestock. One of the victims of the fraud showed up in town with a hole in her face from trying to put stiletto heels on a goat. A goat doesn't want to wear stiletto heels. Paula Poundstone with the Rodeo. And your last story of a stop-off in Big Sky comes from Alonzo Bowden. It had been New Yorker Kingsley Burnett's lifelong dream to visit Sydney, Australia. When he finally booked

a ticket, it was far less expensive than he expected. He was thrilled. When he landed and realized he had booked a ticket to Sydney, Montana, he was less thrilled. The flight was, quote, shorter than I expected. And, quote, I knew I was in trouble when I looked out the window and I saw a mountain covered in snow. Kingsley flew home to New York and rescheduled his Australia trip for June. No word on whether anyone told him our summer is their winter. The lesson here is check the destination, not the price, and if it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

Okay, so Butch, you've got Hari with the Scooter Alley, Paula with the Rodeo, and Alonzo with the wrong Sydney. Which one is real? Well, as much as I like Paula's answer, I have to go with Alonzo's story. Alonzo's story. Okay. Find out the correct answer. We spoke to the actual traveler who took the trip. He said, I was going to Sydney, Montana.

I'm like, I'm going to Sydney, Australia. Good job, Butch. That was Kingsley Burnett, the New Yorker who accidentally ended up in Sydney, Montana instead of his dream vacation spot, Sydney, Australia. Congratulations, Butch. you got it right. You earned a point for Alonzo, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you for playing with us today, Butch. Take care of yourself. Bye. And now the game where big names have a little fun. It's called Not My Job.

In the 80s and 90s, Gina Davis created a string of iconic roles from Beetlejuice to Thelma and Louise to a league of their own. Then, in the 2000s, she almost became an Olympic archer before dedicating herself to expanding roles for women in media. And now she's here, about to risk it all on a radio quiz show. Gina Davis, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi everybody. Hi. Thank you so much. I'm so excited. I listen every week. I'm like really excited to be on the show. That's nice to hear. It's so nice to talk to you. It really is an honor.

And when you go down the list of your films, I mean, they're such big, impactful films throughout your career. It's amazing. Yeah, like Earth Girls are easy. That's the top of my list. Exactly. Pretty much all of your roles have been iconic,

but we heard one of your earliest acting gigs was at ann taylor is that right yes and taylor yes in new york city when i moved to new york i i uh immediately got a job as a sales clerk at ann taylor and one uh week the the window in the front that's on 57th and 5th had mannequins sitting at a little cafe table with plastic food in front of them. And I was all dressed up in Ann Taylor clothes and everything. And I said, hey, to my friends, dare me to go and sit in that chair. And they said, yeah, yeah, go ahead, do it. And I sat in the chair. And so soon a crowd gathered because people kept saying, what are you looking at?

I guess they thought they were looking at three mannequins, and why are you staring at it? And they said, just wait, just wait. As they figured I had a blink at some point, which I did, and everybody went, woo! Finally, the manager came because there was so much noise and said, Jenna, get out of the window. But then she realized so many people had gathered, and she said, stay in the window. They hired me every Saturday to be a mannequin in the window. Wow, that's amazing. Did you ever take a bite of the waxed food?

I did not, but there was a restaurant on the third floor, and a handsome waiter came down at one point and brought me a real lunch and served it to me in the window. And I ended up marrying that guy. Is that true? Did you really? I literally did, yeah, yeah. He was the first man I met in New York. That's a power move.

I can't tell you how many times I've brought food to mannequins just for that purpose. I heard that on Thelma and Louise, which featured one of Brad Pitt's earliest performances, you chose, you had a say in him getting the role looking back good decision? yeah but I didn't really have a say in it

I auditioned with five guys who were finalists I guess but after we were done and Brad was the I auditioned with five guys who were finalists, I guess. Right. But after we were done, and Brad was the last one, and I was, let's say I was dazzled. So I was packing my things really slowly so I could hear what they were saying, you know, Ridley and the casting director were saying.

And then I finally said, would you, it would be all interesting if I weighed in, would you like to know what I thought? And they were like, oh gosh, yeah, sure. What did you think? And I said, the blonde one? And I don't know if that had any impact on them, but we did get the blonde one. You know what I never understood about that movie? It pick him up on the side of the road and then you go into this hotel and you clear the stuff, or he does or somebody clears the stuff off the dresser and the sex scene begins on the dresser. And I don't know, I'm not a real sexual kind of creature to begin with, but

there's a bed in that room. And I just, it made my spine hurt, just thinking. And I thought, well, maybe that's what people do. Like, maybe you say to somebody, oh, I have a pool, we could drain it. Did that ever bother you? No, no, it didn't actually. I wasn't thinking about that.

Well, Thelma and Louise was really an important film in your career and also for the nation. And it really kind of, it really dovetails into what you ended up doing. I mean, you have this long career and then you launched the Gina Davis Institute on Gender and Media in 2004. Davis Institute on Gender and Media in 2004. And really make an effort to make sure that there's more equality, more roles, more people working behind the scenes. And it's been a really powerful

force. And that leads us to this show that you're executive producing called Mission Unstoppable on CBS, hosted by Miranda Cosgrove. Can you tell us about that? That's right, yeah. I was asked to executive produce the show with the Lyda Hill Philanthropies, and it celebrates women and girls in STEM, and I was really excited because my institute had done a lot of research about on-screen depictions of women and girls in STEM. And so now we're launching our fourth season. And our show, we have guest women from STEM fields and teach kids unique things, such as that mushrooms can actually talk. Oh, they can? Evidently.

All right, Gina, are you ready to play our game? I guess. Do you feel good? I mean, you've done everything. You're good at everything you do, and you listen to this show all the time. How do you like your chances? Oh, God.

I'm terrified. I have to admit that I'm terrified. Perfect. We have you right where we want you. It's been great talking with you, Gina Davis, but we've asked you here today to play a game we're calling... Gin... Genie! Sure, your name is Gina, but what do you know about jeans?

Answer two out of three questions correctly about blue jeans, and you will win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Geena Davis playing for? Christine Hall of Columbus, Ohio. Here's your first question. Blue jeans were invented in 1873, but they weren't called blue jeans then. They were called what?

A, plowman's trousers. B, waist overalls. they were called what? A. Plowman's Trousers. B. Waist Overalls. C. Strauss and Davis's Reinforced Miracle Dungarees. Wow. Did you say Strauss and Davis's? Yes.

And that one is C. Yes. Yes. Oh God. I C. Yes, yes. Oh, God. I'm still going to get it wrong. I'm going to say... Plowman's trousers. No, that's wrong, too. It's the... Reinforced overalls.

Waist overalls, that's right. Oh! Reinforce overalls. Waist overalls, that's right. Yay! B, they were called waist overalls, which is a dumb name and an oxymoron, but everyone was too busy panning for gold to notice. Ah, I'm right there.

All right, you're doing great. Here's your next question. Levi's jeans have not changed much over their history, but they did change what? A, they removed a metal rivet from the crotch because they would heat up and burn their customers when they sat next to a campfire. B, they started stitching two curved lines on the back pocket instead of Levi Strauss' face. C, they added that tiny fifth pocket so that workers could break the ice with each other by asking, hey, what do you think this little pocket is for? I'm going to go with pocket. You're going to go with pocket. You're going to go with pocket.

I think that's a cute one. It is cute. It is cute. But it's wrong. The answer is A. They removed a metal rivet from the crotch because they would heat up and burn their customers when they sat next to a campfire.

Oh, my God. Okay. A zoo in Hokkaido, Japan, sells jeans in their gift shop. What makes the jeans so special? A. They're made of a blend of 80% cotton and 20% whatever zoo animals died last month. B, they have tears in them because the zoo left them in the lion

enclosure for a while. Or C, they are specially treated so the goats in the petting zoo won't eat them. Did they say bee? I mean, yes. That's what they're saying, yes. Okay, but what was bee?

Bee is that they have tears in them because the zoo left them in the lion enclosure for a while. But that, I mean, that could happen once, but they can't always put them in the lion's den and sell them that way, right? You're right, Gina Davis. B! They toss the pants in with the lions for a bit, then rescue them and sell them to you. Bill, how did Gina Davis do on her quiz? Gina, it was very hard. We're going to give you two out of three, and sell them to you. Bill, how did Gina Davis do on our quiz? Gina, it was very hard.

We're going to give you two out of three, and you won. Nice work, Gina. You're a special guest, and we love you. Gina Davis, did you have fun on our show? We loved talking with you. Did you enjoy yourself? I did, I did. Thank you.

Say goodbye to Gina Davis, everybody. Gina Davis is an actor, author, producer, and activist whose show Mission Unstoppable airs on CBS. Oh yeah, you're fit just right And too loose, too tight Like a glow In a blue jean blue In just a minute, Bill tries to downgrade his seat on the flight home.

It's our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Hari Kondabolu, Alonzo Bowden, and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Segal, Thomas Papa. Thanks, Bill. In just a minute, Bill goes stargazing and sees O'Reiman's belt in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-88-WAIT-WAIT. That's

1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from this week's news. Alonzo, a new study shows that people may avoid the temptation of cheating on their partner if they flirt with what? With their actual partner? No. Give me a hint. Oh, a protocol droid? What's that like?

Robots? A robot. Very good. A robot. An experiment found that flirting with a virtual reality hottie might help people avoid cheating. Participants reported a stronger sexual desire for their partner and a reduced sexual interest in other people. They also reported being weirdly horny for robots. Is it just mechanical things in general? Like, would someone come up with like, you know, a lot of batting their eyes and clever come online for like their electric can opener or something? Could a microwave stand in?

Do you see what I'm saying? Does it have to be a robot? I do see what you're saying. But it isn't taking the consideration, like you're saying, like the mechanical beings' feelings. You know what I mean? Like there's probably a calculator out there going,

he's usually home by now. I guess, you know, whatever works for you. If it keeps you faithful in your marriage, I guess. I don't know if it's really good. I mean, maybe it'll keep you faithful in your marriage. I don't think it's going to be great for your marriage to have your wife walk into the den and see you flirting with a robot. There's a lot of explaining you're going to have to do.

Hari, Air Canada lost a couple's bag for months, but instead of looking for it, they did what? Set it on fire. No. These questions are hard. Here's a hint. Salvation Army will only take your donation if it's out of the back of a white, sketchy van.

Wait, instead of finding the people whose bag it was, they just donated it to Salvation Army? Yes, they lied and said they donated it to charity. The couple wasn't initially worried when their bag was lost because they had an Air tag on it. Unfortunately, Air Canada wasn't having it, so instead of having the couple tell them where the bag was, they just lied and said they had given it to charity.

And maybe they did. Maybe it was the storage container behind the Toronto Airport Foundation. Alonzo, have you ever lost your bags in all your traveling? No, as much as I travel, Tom, I've been incredibly lucky with the bag thing. But no, now that you've mentioned it, of course, it will happen. I lost the golf clubs once. I was going to do this charity thing and they had these golf clubs shipped and they never showed up.

And they came back a week later to my house and my golf clubs had been to London and were in Scotland, two places I had never been at the time. And my golf clubs were on a little vacation. I wonder if your clubs got to play in Scotland. I mean, that's the dream, right? Scotland is the birthplace of it. So your clubs had a great vacation. Hari, there's a marsupial called the northern quoll that is now endangered. It turns out they're mating until they what? Mating until they die? Yes, that's right.

What? Yes. That just seemed fun. Until they die. That just seemed like a good time. It's true. These horny little monkey rats forego rest and meals during the breeding season and just mate till they drop they must be so tired of paul eulogies beginning with he died doing what he loved can you imagine how many babies are born during their super bowl

imagine how many babies are born during their Super Bowl? It's no wonder they want to take away books in Florida. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first, the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-88-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website,

waitwait.npr.org. You can catch us here at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago most weeks, and you can see us in Tucson, Arizona at Centennial Hall on March 23rd. Tickets and more info at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi. Hi, who are you? I'm Tony Kuhn. Hey, Tony, how are you? Where are you? I'm currently on vacation in South Lake Tahoe. Whoa, you're on vacation and you called into the show. You must really like us. Yeah, I guess so. We'll take it. Welcome to the show, Tony. Thank you. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks,

you're a winner. Here's your first limerick. A plane crash. I'm eager to foil it. And my underwear, I might just soil it. So I hide on the throne. That's two birds with one stone. Because the plane's safest seat is the...

Toilet. Yes, toilet. According to aviation safety experts, your chances of surviving a plane crash are significantly improved if you're sitting in the seats closest to the rear bathroom. So you'll be the sole survivor of a plane crash, but you'll also have pink eye.

It's a rough seat. Would it be safer back there? Because that's going to be the last part to hit the ground. I mean, it's just the front crashes into the mountain. You're thinking, well, I got my odds are good back here. Yeah, it's pretty obvious why the rear of the plane is safer. If a flight is going down, the chances of it hitting something nose first are pretty much guaranteed. But don't get too cocky or you're going to feel horrible when the pilot says, we just overshot the runway, but don't worry, I've been dying to throw this baby into reverse.

Here's your next limerick. For ink, I'm a bit of a junkie, and my NFT symbol is funky. I think I'm real smart getting simian art. So I've been tattooed by a... Monkey. Yes a monkey. Yes, monkey. A man went down to Mexico and got a tattoo from a monkey who he trained to use a tattoo gun. I'm not sure there's a big difference between training a monkey to use a tattoo gun and handing a monkey a tattoo gun.

training a monkey to use a tattoo gun and handing a monkey a tattoo gun. So did he get his tattoo from his monkey or did he just hear someone had a monkey that tattoos? Look, I don't think it really matters at that point. You just don't

want to be the first one, Tom. You want an experienced monkey to tattoo you. The monkey's just like, so you're thinking banana? All right. Here's your last limerick. My venti is filled to the brim because my workout today needs more vim. The leg press machine is a cinch on caffeine. I drink coffee

when I hit the gym. Yes, gym. Indeed. Gym. New research shows that caffeine contained in two cups of coffee will significantly improve your workout performance. It works

across a variety of activities, from running to rowing to immediately pooping your pants in the weight room. Phil, how did Tony do? Much better than we did. Three in a row. Good job. Good job, Tony. Thank you so much for playing.

Thank you for having me. It was a lot of fun. All right. Enjoy your vacation. Thank you. Bye. Tom Papa here. In our next bonus episode,

it's another edition of the Wait, Wait, Wayback Machine, the game where we ask a listener questions that appeared on our show 20 years ago. This is, I think, easier maybe than it seems. Not easy enough. Want to be a contestant? We have a secret way to enter, known only by Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus listeners.

If you're not one, join the fun and support NPR in the process. Details at plus.npr.org. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points.

Bill, can you give us the scores? I can. Paula has two. Hari and Alonzo each have three. What? Ooh. Alright, Paula, you're in third place, so you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question.

Fill in the blank. During a surprise visit to France and Britain, Ukrainian President Blank called for more military support. Zelensky. Right. On Monday, federal authorities arrested a couple for a plot to destroy Baltimore's blank. Electroquin.

Right. According to a new study, melting blanks are putting 15 million people in danger of flooding. Icebergs. Right. Melting glaciers. This week, Walmart won a lawsuit that claimed their fudge mint cookies didn't contain blank or blank. Fudge or mint.

Right. Thanks to recent discoveries, Jupiter has officially been named the planet with the most blanks. Jupiter, the planet with the most blanks. Parking spaces. Close. Moons. Widely praised as one of the greatest songwriters of all time, Blank passed away at the age of 94. Burt Bacharach.

Right. According to CNN, social media may have inspired a man in Texas to blank. Oh, move to blank. Oh. Move to Florida. Social media inspired him to steal two monkeys from the zoo. The self-proclaimed animal lover

and wannabe influencer was charged with stealing two small monkeys from the Dallas Zoo. Oh, yes. And, this is totally true, he was caught a few days later because he went to the Dallas Aquarium and asked employees a string of, quote, very suspicious questions. Which of these sharks would get along best with two monkeys? Bill, how did Paula do?

Very good. Five right, Paula. Ten more points. A total of 12 puts you in the lead. All right. Okay, Alonzo, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, House GOP asked Blank's son for records into his business dealings.

Oh, Hunter Biden, Joe Biden's son. Right. On Tuesday, the chair of the Federal Reserve said a surge in hiring may lead to more blank hikes. Interest rates? Right. At the Grammys on Sunday, the inaugural Dr. Dre Award for Global Impact was won by blank. Rihanna. Dr. Dre.

Wait a minute, he won his own award named after him? Yes. You can't do that. On Tuesday, NBA star Blank broke Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's scoring record. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I have no idea who LeBron James is. If you say Dr. Dre, I'm coming over there.

I just answered the question. I said LeBron James. I knew that one. Good job. He won me a LeBron James award for the most points scored in a basketball career. Great job. This week, a man in Michigan who let his son play a game on his phone was shocked when the kid blanked. Oh, when he ordered a bunch of stuff that the dad had to pay for? Sure. Ordered 1,000 worth of food from Grubhub. Yeah. According to the family, it took only a few minutes for the six-year-old to open the Grubhub app and order a ton of food.

Grubhub offered the family a $1,000 gift card, which will help cover the $45 worth of food and $955 worth of Grubhub fees. Bill, how did Alonzo do? Well, four right, eight more points, 11, and Apollo's in the lead with only one. Okay. And Bill, how many does Hari need to win? Five. Five, Hari. Fill in the blank.

Following President Biden's State of the Union, Sarah Blankaby Sanders provided the official Republican response. Huckabee! Right. This week, investigators found strong evidence that Blank was complicit in the downing

of a Malaysian Airlines jet in 2014. Russia. Vladimir Putin. Yeah. This week, a pair of woodpeckers were blamed Russia. Yeah. Holes. After her four wins on Sunday, Blank broke the record for the most Grammy Awards. Beyonce?

Right. After being told that his luggage was too big to fit in the overhead bin, a man at an airport in Scotland blanked. Got into a bit of a row. No, he smashed it into pieces until it fit. The man tried to get his luggage into that little box that tells you it's an okay size to carry it on. It didn't fit, so he did what everyone would do. He kicked it, punched it, and eventually

held it down and knocked off the wheel. At the end, it kind of fit. And he was immediately hired as a Southwest luggage handler. Bill, did Hari do well enough to win?

She doesn't come here expecting to win, but our champ is Paula Poundstone with a total of 12. Congratulations, Paula. 12. Congratulations, Paula. Coming up, our panelists predict after AMC's airplane-style seat pricing, what'll be the next movie theater innovation. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell.

Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. B.J. Lederman composed our theme. Our program was produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Oja Lopez and Monica Hickey. Our spy balloon is Peter Gwynn. Our intern is Vaishnavi Naidoo. Technical

direction, Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike and Ike Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next big innovation for movie theaters? Hari Kanabolo.

Clothing optional Wednesdays. Paula Poundstone. When you go into the movie theater, you download an app, and then you can watch any movie you want on your phone while you sit in the movie theater. Alonzo Bowden. In following the airline theme, they will start the movie whenever they want to start the movie, and if you complain, everyone has to get up,

go to the lobby, and then re-enter the theater. Well, if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Alonzo Bowden, Hari Kondabolu, and Paula Poundstone. And thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Tom Papa, filling in for Peter Sagal,

and we'll see you next week. Thank you. This is NPR.