Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Henry Winkler

Episode Date: August 10, 2019

Henry Winkler, actor and director, joins us along with panelists Alonzo Bodden, Helen Hong, and Hari Kondabolu.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. You wait here. I'm going to slip into something more com-fort-a-bill. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you all so much. We're very excited about this week's show because later on we're going to be joined by the man who is genuinely too nice to be in the entertainment industry. That's the actor Henry Winkler.

I know. I know. industry. That's the actor Henry Winkler. I know. But first, you know, it was one of those weeks where it was a little hard to find anything good in the week's news, but we are going to do our best. We are, however, going to have a moment of silence during the show. Actually, if our jokes get the usual response, we'll have a fair number of them. But please, don't you be silent. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. It's Theresa Mitchell from Kingston, Ontario, Canada. Oh, an international caller. That's very exciting. Tell me how, because I like to imagine

that we have listeners in exotic places. Tell me how exotic Kingston, Ontario is. Well, we're located on the north shore of Lake Ontario. We're two hours from Ottawa, three hours from Montreal, two and a half to Toronto, and three to Syracuse. Wow. I think the only thing I can say is, ooh. Well, welcome to the show, Teresa. Let me introduce you to our panel this week.

First up, it's a comedian who'll be performing at the McGloin Theatre in Charlotte, North Carolina on September 26th. It's Hari Kondabolu. Next, a comedian performing at Yuck Yucks in Vancouver, Canada, September 6th and 7th, and host of the trivia podcast Go Fact Yourself on the Maximum Fun Network, it's Helen Hong. Hi. And a comedian you can see at the SignSplitters Comedy Club in Tampa, August 15th through the 18th, it's Alonzo Bowden.

Hello, Teresa. Welcome to the show, Teresa. You're going to start us off with Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotes from the week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I sure am.

Your first quote is from the website Jezebel about a protest in the fitness world. They're taking their mesh panel leggings elsewhere. They're talking about people who are ditching SoulCycle and Equinox because it turns out the owner has deep ties with whom? Oh, my gosh. You're really pulling it.

I know. Who is someone who the kind of people who might go to SoulCycle and Equinox would not like to a great extent? Your president? That's the guy. I see you've heard about him there in your distant foreign land where it has traveled. The coastal elites knew this day would come. Oh, yes, they wore their pink hats. They tweeted out the most cutting memes.

But this was the week the resistance got real and people had to sacrifice something that mattered, their front-row bike at the 3 p.m. spin class on Hip Hop Wednesday. The Washington Post reported that Stephen Ross, the billionaire who owns both SoulCycle and the Equinox gym chain, was throwing this big fundraiser for Donald Trump at his mansion in the Hamptons for up to $250,000 a person,

which, by coincidence, is exactly the cost of a year's membership at Equinox. Frankly, we should have known it was a right-wing organization. The full name is Separate But Equinox. SoulCycle was originally Triumph of the Wheel. organization. The full name is Separate Butt Equinox. Soul Cycle was originally Triumph of the Wheel, but anyway. Deeper cut, but very good. I was just about

to sign up and everything. Really? You were? Of course not. Being in shape would ruin my whole comedy thing. That's true. I myself was so enraged that I marched to my gym membership card to check what gym it actually was. Turns out, not Equinox. So I'm good. No, you're all right.

I'm safe. You're all right. Apparently, this gym chain, especially Equinox, is very popular with celebrities. So many of them got upset. It's big. It's a huge thing with celebrities. And SoulCycle, I mean, you had to know somebody to get into SoulCycle. You don't just show up at SoulCycle.

No. You need a recommendation. You gotta know somebody. Like, excuse me, you pedal down the street. They would actually have real bicycles for you to pedal away from. God, if this was Shake Shack, I'd be devastated. I understand.

All right, here is your next quote. Sort your paper from your plastic. Maybe even try to kiss, shake a man while you're at it. That was GQ commenting on a new study that says some men are afraid that doing what

might make them look gay? Sort your paper from your plastic. Which is something you do when you're trying to do what? When you're recycling. Exactly right. Recycling. Very good. The same week that the UN released an

apocalyptic report about the effect of climate change, we also learned that a lot of men don't like recycling because it's kind of gay. An article in the journal Sex Roles, that's R-O-L-E-S, it's not about those croissants that you get that sometimes look like a butt. Anyway, this journal article says that many men feel that recycling or other kind of green activities is emasculating or feminizing, so they won't do it. Right? That's why you always see guys trying to kick aluminum cans into the garbage can with their crotches.

Men. So, for example. Get it together, men. No, no, no. Stop. Stop right there. Because that, okay, as men, we're guilty of a lot of things. But this one, you can't put on all of us.

Like, I hang out with guys who are pretty bad. But I don't know any guy who's like, man, if you save that aluminum can, you can't even hang out here anymore. I would think this study was in GQ. No, GQ was writing about it. GQ was writing about it. I would think more men would think you were gay for reading GQ. Like, that's more, he reads GQ? Like, you're better he reads GQ like you're better off recycling

GQ than on the man scale it's like man I just recycled GQ they're like you alright you alright Teresa you're doing very very well for an exotic foreigner but Teresa here is your

last quote that was one Californian's reaction to seeing Amazon's new what? Delivering packages on the street this very week. Robot. Yes, robots. They're here. You knew this day would come. Amazon has introduced its first delivery robots to the streets of Seattle and Southern California. The delivery robots, called Scouts, look like motorized beer coolers with six wheels and machine guns you don't see until it's too late. Hasn't anyone read or seen science fiction? This isn't going to end well.

No. Nope. It's like, really? You know what we should do? We should bring dinosaurs back and make a theme park. What's the worst that could happen? It is very reminiscent of the movie WALL-E, if you really want to get a sense of it.

Oh, but WALL-E was adorable. That's true. That's how they get you. I can't speak for Seattle, but I live in L.A. And I think these things, people are going to treat them like they do those electric bird scooters and stuff, where it's going to be just a thing. How can I destroy this?

Like it's going to be a whole Instagram thing of here I am destroying the Amazon robot. Wait, where are they? Are they in L.A.? They're not in L.A. They're in Orange County at this point. Let's go steal one, Alonzo. Oh, yeah, I'm going to go steal things in Orange County. Good point, good point.

Good point. Helen, not only would I not want to be a black guy stealing robots in Orange County, I wouldn't want to be a black guy stealing robots in Orange County, I wouldn't want to be a black guy in jail for stealing robots. That's a lose-lose to be the robot thief. Bill, how did Teresa do in our quiz? Teresa did very well.

She got all three right. Congratulations, Teresa. Bye. Thank you. Thank you so much for playing. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Alonzo, forget about the sharks. This summer, people all over the world are dealing with what threat at the beach? Jellyfish? No, not jellyfish. Not in the water. Look to the

sky. The sun? Not the sun. Seagulls? Seagulls! Exactly right. For some reason, places all over the world are reporting terrible problems with seagulls this summer. For example, Ocean City in New Jersey had such a problem with seagulls attacking tourists on the beach to steal their food that they have imported falcons.

What? Because nothing bad could ever happen by setting a worse animal free to control a less worse animal. But don't worry, don't worry. If the falcon population becomes an issue, the natural predator of falcons are panthers. Well, I hate to keep going backwards, but this shouldn't be a problem too long in New Jersey

because once all the guys stop recycling, there'll be enough garbage for the seagulls to be well fed. That's true. That's absolutely true. Wait, They're actually letting falcons run around Ocean City, New Jersey? Well, they are. They actually are importing

falconers. That's a job you can have in New Jersey. So when somebody in New Jersey says, oh, I'm a falconer, he's not really in the mob. He's a falconer. And these guys come, and the falcons, apparently, they fly around, and they don't so much attack the seagulls as they scare the seagulls away.

But that's a problem because, you know, without seagulls, their natural predator, the french fry population, is going to explode. Couldn't they just get some badass pigeons from New York to go down? I understand you got a little seagull problem. We can take care of that for you. Hey, the seagulls are like, we don't want much, we just want to dip our beak. Coming up, there's a bustle in your hedgerow in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-triple-8, wait, wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPO. Watch me, watch me.

It has already been an eventful summer in politics. Watch me, watch me, watch me. And we're hitting the road so you can meet all of the 2020 contenders. Oh, NPR is going to drive me completely crazy. The NPR Politics Podcast. Subscribe. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Hari Kondabolu, Helen Hong, and Alonzo Bowden. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown

Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY-OUR-GAME-IN-THE-AIR. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, Peter. It's Jordan Rogers from Atlanta. Hey, Jordan. How are you? I am doing great. How are you all? We are not as happy as you are, but frankly... I'm just very excited to be on the show.

Oh, well, that's... We're very excited to have you. Well, it's great to have you with us, Jordan. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Jordan's topic? Hedgehogs in the news. Our panelists are going to tell you three stories of hedgehogs in the news.

Pick the one we really saw in the news this week. You'll win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I am ready. First, let's hear from Alonzo Bowden. In the Zhang province of China, men have begun using sleeping hedgehogs as hair pieces. Jimmy Gong, the inventor of the process, says, quote, for some reason we have a huge population of hedgehogs. I notice they sleep all day and women find them cute and irresistible,

even petting them while they sleep. It occurred to me that it's exactly how a man would want a woman to see him. Cute, irresistible, and occasionally pettable. Fine, but how do you get the hedgehog to stick to your head? Well, I adapted a removable adhesive that can be applied to the hedgehog's feet. I adapted a removable adhesive that can be applied to the hedgehog's feet. It works as long as you're not too loud and avoid sudden movements or get too near anything a hedgehog likes to eat. Gong does not recommend wearing a hedgehog to your office or the electronics factory.

And of course, does not advise the hedgehog hairpiece to dog owners. But he says it's perfect for a quiet afternoon date, stressing the afternoon part. Quote, you don't want to be out after dark because hedgehogs are nocturnal and they tend to wake up hungry. Chinese man comes up with the idea of using hedgehogs for hair pieces. Your next story of hedgehog hullabaloo comes from Helen Hong. It's awkward to have to call the cops when your neighbors are being too loud. It's particularly awkward when you're calling because your neighbors are having loud sex.

But as many neighborhoods in Germany have been finding out all summer, it's the most awkward when your loud sex having neighbors turn out to be hedgehogs. The German version of 911 has been inundated with calls of disturbing nighttime noises, which turn out to be freaky, shameless, exhibitionist hedgehogs. It's such a common occurrence that the hashtag EagleS or hedgehog sex has been trending on social media. Hedgehogs are capable of making a range of sounds from a quiet snuffling to hissing, snarling, purring, whistling, clicking, and even loud screaming.

Which is what sometimes gets them mistaken for excited humans. which is what sometimes gets them mistaken for excited humans. According to a veterinary expert, hedgehogs snarl loudly during the hours-long mating ritual, which is known in German as Eagle Karussell or Hedgehog Carousel. Because urban hedgehog populations have been declining, animal experts advise everyone to leave them to their lovemaking. They've also discovered that flashlights will scare the animals and often breaks up the coupling,

but quiet observation will not disturb them. You pervs. The hedgehog carousels and the noise thereof Distressing people in Germany Your last story of hedgehogs above the fold comes from Hari Kondabulu When Samuel Terry won a $100,000 college scholarship Via a writing contest in New Zealand His parents were both shocked and elated

Because he had never shown any interest in creative writing, and because he is 10. However, shortly after the winners were announced, young Samuel was busted for plagiarism. What the award committee called a brilliant satire about what happens when our morality is usurped by our scientific advancements and the temptations of power was actually just the plot of the early 90s Sega Genesis video game Sonic the Hedgehog. He had found a copy of the video game in the accompanying manual in the family attic and decided it was time to write it all down. Even more shocking, the award committee missed some very telling clues,

such as the stories mentioning of, quote, controllers, and, quote, player one and player two. Professor Dina Johnson thought this, quote, represented our need to balance the divine spirit that controls us with the free will that each of us has as players in the game of life. Samuel claims he didn't know the story had to be original and the rules of the contest never said you could not plagiarize. The contest organizers admit this is true because they just assumed nobody would do that.

So one of these stories is one we read about a hedgehog two, in the news this week. Was it from Alonzo Bowden, hedgehogs being used as toupees by men in China? From Helen Hong, hedgehog sex parties keeping people up in Germany? Or from Hari Kandabolu, the story of a guy who won a $100,000 scholarship just by retelling the story of Sonic the Hedgehog. I am going to go with the sexy German hedgehog. The sexy German hedgehog.

I think it's just a general rule of thumb. Always go with the sexy German hedgehogs. Well, we spoke to an actual hedgehog expert to bring you the truth. The hedgehog carousel is a crucial component of the hedgehog mating ritual. That was Hugh Warwick, spokesperson for the British Hedgehog Preservation Society and author of the book The Hedgehog's Dilemma, talking about the mating hedgehogs. And by the way, if you want to get your partner in the mood,

just talk about hedgehog carousels with a British accent. Congratulations, Jordan. You got it right. You won our prize. You earned a point for Helen and, of course, like I say, you've won our prize. The voice of anyone you may choose on your voicemail. Congratulations. I hope this lived up to your

expectations. It was everything and more. Oh, thank you, Jordan. Thank you. Take care. Now the game where we force people we admire to do something they may not like. It is a curse for an actor to be associated with one iconic role that people assume that's all he can do,

and that, sadly, might be true for Henry Winkler. His performance as acting teacher Gene Cousineau on HBO's show Barry is so amazing that for the rest of his life, people will be calling out when they see him, Hey, it's the Gene. Henry Winkler, welcome back to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Thank you. How are you? Oh, we're. Thank you. How are you?

Oh, we're good, Henry. How are you tonight? I am standing here with my hedgehog. And we both are thrilled to be back on the show. We're so glad to have you. I, of course, am making a little joke because, of course, you played the Fonz 40 years ago. And has it gotten to the point, given the passage of time, that more people recognize you for Gene on the show Barry than for the Fonz? It's at the tipping point.

It is. Yeah. I don't, you know, people yell out Barry and people yell out the Fonz. But I will say I'm wearing jeans right now. Okay. Well, there you are. Because, you know, jeans is a part

of both characters. That's true. They both wear... One is named Jean. The other one wears jeans. Yes. That's very... Oh, I didn't realize

there's a through line to your work. You know what? I didn't either until you... I just thought of it. I know. It's great. Who knows?

I'll tell you, this show, by every synapse, is firing. It is still amazing. People still do refer to you as the Fonz, even though that was... Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. My wife. And I think that's wonderful,

but I don't want to talk to you about the Fonz this time. I want to talk to you about Gene Cousineau, this role you play in the amazingly good TV show Barry. For those who are not lucky enough to see it, can you describe who Gene is? I am a teacher of great thespians. Yes. And I know they're great

because they can pay in cash on time. Right. And I teach a young man who came into my class who has kind of like another job I'm only finding out about. And he is an assassin. Right. And he has become like a son to me. Well, what's amazing about the show is even given that outlandish premise that he's an assassin who decides he wants to be an actor and finds an acting class,

it's really quite moving. Because, as you say, he does need a father, and your character kind of provides that. I didn't know that he was as big a putz as he was supposed to be. Right. And then the two men who run the show saw me as I started to bring Gene alive,

and they said, oh, he could also have a heart. And so then they combined the two, the two parts of my body, my heart and lower down. So that's actually very interesting to me because they conceived the character as more of a jerk. Yes, they did. They wrote him dark. But you're Henry Winkler. You can't play a complete jerk. It's not in you. Well, you know what? I didn't know that was true, but it seems to be.

I gotta ask you, because so much of this is said in this acting class, did you ever take an acting class and was it like this? You know what? I had 14 teachers in college, in graduate school, in drama school. I did research and I came

across a fact where there was a teacher here in LA who literally forced his students who barely made enough to take his class, he made them buy his art. You mean like he would paint pictures or whatever?

And then sell it to his students. And I thought, yes, this says everything I need to know about this teacher. Wow. Do you enjoy that aspect of the character being a little grasping and cruel? Do you know what? I actually never thought of that because when you do an episode, you do scene by scene and you concentrate on making that scene perfect. And all of a sudden you put all these details together and I watch along with everybody

else. I don't see it until it's on the air. Right, so you have no idea. I am thrilled. I just love going to work. Aw, that's right. I wonder what that would be like. Sounds great, though. It does sound great. You, and I'm

so proud, you won an Emmy for the first season. Yes, I did. And I was amazed to discover this. That was your first Emmy. You've had a lifetime of television, and you've only won an Emmy for the first season. Yes, I did. And I was amazed to discover this. That was your first Emmy. You've had a lifetime of television and you've only won this Emmy. And I have it on my dining room table. Really? Is that where you put it? I do. And it's

opposite the front door. So when the man delivers the medicine from the pharmacy, I point out to him the Emmy. Oh, that old thing? And anybody else who comes in the front door,

I lead them through the dining room first. I want to ask you something. So you were on the show a few years ago. We had a wonderful time. And Paula Poundstone said that she saw you once in public, just in the way that you do.

We were flying on the same airline on the same plane. And she said that she thought to herself, there's a happy little fella. Is she referring to the fact that I'm short? I think. I'm not quite sure what she was referring to, but I did want to ask you, do you think that's an accurate description? It is. I have, I live by two words, gratitude

and tenacity. Tenacity gets me where I want to go. And gratitude doesn't allow me to be angry along the way. And gratitude doesn't allow me to be angry along the way. Well, Henry Winkler, it is always a pleasure to talk to you.

We've invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling... Ooh, look at the Twinklers. Oh, wow. So, as a Winkler, you Winkle. But what do you know about things that Twinkle? Stars. We're going to ask you three questions about twinklers or stars. Get two right, you win our prize. For one of our listeners, any voice they might like on their voicemail.

Bill, who is our friend Henry Winkler playing for? Cindy Metcalf of Dallas, Texas. All right, Henry, you ready to do this? Yes. Oh, yes. We've learned some interesting things about stars since we start venturing into space, including which of these? A, stars can get bored.

B, stars smell like burnt steak. Or C, stars, they're just like us. Wow. I would have to go with stars are just like us because I'm a very normal person. Actually, stars, they're just like us, is a feature in Us magazine. The real answer was stars smell like burnt steak. We didn't know this, and this is literally true,

until astronauts went out into space in spacesuits and came back and sniffed their spacesuits and felt weirdly hungry. Because it turns out that stars give off a number of chemicals, one of which smells like burnt steak. What? It's true. Wow. It's the smell of space.

I'm so glad I'm on this show. I never knew that before. I know. All right. You still have two more chances. Here's your next question. Will Amina Fleming classify tens of thousands of stars during her decades-long career at the Harvard Observatory?

But before that, she had another job. What was it? A, one day the head of the observatory got frustrated with his staff and said, my Scottish maid could do better. He hired her, and she did. B, she was a theater critic who said, people are boring. I want to watch something else. Or C, nobody knows.

She just showed up one day wearing a silver suit and said, I can help you. All right, I'm going to eliminate C. Yes. I'm going to go with A. You're going to go with A, that she said my Scottish maid could do better? You are right. Turns out she was one of those undiscovered geniuses who became a brilliant mathematician and astronomer.

She discovered, among other things, the Horcet Nebula. She is a hero. All right, you have one more question. No, I was going to hire her, but she took that job. I know, it's a shame. And she died 90 years ago. But other than that, she would have been fabulous. Last question.

Our sun is a star, of course. For about 30% of people, staring into the sun will cause sneezing fits. What is the scientific name of this reflex? A, squinty sneezing, B, solar snot, or C, autosomal compelling heliophthalmic outburst, or achoo?

I'm going to go with C. You're going to go with C. Autosomal compelling helio-ophthalmic outburst or achoo? You're right. Wow. That's what they called it. Bill, how did Henry Winkler do on our quiz? You know, Henry, two out of three right is a very good score.

That means you have won! Henry Winkler is nominated for another Emmy for his role on HBO's Barry. He has a children's book, Alien Superstar, coming out this fall. Henry Winkler, what a joy to talk to you. Thank you so much for coming back with us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

In just a minute, Bill says, I move. It's a matrimonial listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, wait to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. pricing. It's Latino USA. Listen and subscribe now. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, where you're playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Hari Kondabolu, and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. In just a minute, Bill channels his spirit animal,

the Rhymenoceros. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Alonzo, the future we were promised may finally be here. This week, a man named Frankie Zapata became the first person ever to cross the English Channel on what? Something that flies?

Yes. Flying car? No, not a flying car. Even cooler and more futuristic. A jetpack? Yeah, I'm going to give it to you. It's a jetpack. He flew across not a flying car. Even cooler and more futuristic. A jetpack? Yeah, I'm going to give it to you. It's a jetpack. He flew across on a jetpack.

Technically, it's a... Well, you didn't give it to me. I said a jetpack. Yeah. I appreciate your charitable answer, but I did actually say a jetpack. I understand that. Look at you with the right answer. It's like a jetpack.

It's actually a hoverboard that you stand on. But jetpack is close enough. That's my point. All right. He did it. He flew all the way across the English Channel like George Jetson. So that's, but jetpack is close enough. That's my point. All right. He did it. He flew all the way across the English channel, like George Jetson. And this is important because once Brexit happens, this will be the only way you can travel between France and Britain. This guy named Frankie Zapata designed the thing himself. It looks like a big drone,

you know, the flying things. It looks like a big version of that you stand on. And he flew it across the channel in 22 minutes. Zoom. Amazing. Before you get excited, he had to land on a platform halfway across to refuel.

And he says that standing on the platform while flying through the air at 110 miles an hour headfirst is incredibly painful. He said, I tried to enjoy it and not think about the pain. And what was the pain part? Well, he says, have you ever been on a Segway? No, I'm not an idiot.

Helen, I have been on a Segway. Those things are so dumb. And if those of us who enjoy the occasional Segway ride might tell you that it's actually very tiring in your legs because you're kind of bracing yourself against the motion of the machine, multiply that a hundred times. Because you're like balancing. You're balancing as he flies you across. So he says it hurt a lot, which is kind of sad.

Imagine Neil Armstrong stepping out of the lunar lander and saying, one small step for man and oh, my back. Wait, this is what all the equinox people are going to do now. Yeah.

Hari, there's a new trend in bathing and it involves never ever doing what? Is it washing your hair? That's included. Not using soap? That's included. Not using soap? That's also included.

Not bathing? Exactly right. No! Yes! No, the end of the world won't come soon enough! Apparently, more and more people are forgoing showers and soap, opting instead, according to the Guardian newspaper, to, quote,

encourage friendly microbes to live on them. It's sort of like turning your entire body into kombucha. A stinky thing very few people like that sometimes has a thick scum on top of it. But people are saying, they say bathing is bad for you, they say soap

dries out your skin, they say you have a natural biome that's good for you, so you should leave it on, and they say that they stop smelling after a couple of weeks without soap. They say you have a natural biome that's good for you, so you should leave it on. And they say that they stop smelling after a couple of weeks without soap. They say that. This is because your friends can't complain about you when all your friends have fled.

They don't even do any little spot treatment, like a little... Well, weirdly enough, there's one guy who's into this lifestyle. His name is David Whitlock. He says he has not bathed for 15 years. No. And he says, quote,

if I get a specific part of my body dirty, then I'll wash that specific part. And now you can't get the picture I just conjured out of your head, can you? Coming up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's the gamer who have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924, or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming shows August 29th and 30th at Wolf Trap just outside of Washington, D.C. and September 12th at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center in Newark, New Jersey.

And for all you people with smart speakers, check out the Wait, Wait quiz. It's a whole new quiz just for you, and you might even win the voice of your choice for your voicemail. Just say, play the Wait, Wait quiz. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, it's Peter. This is Benjamin Fife. Benjamin Fife. That is a very cool name. Where are you calling from?

I'm calling from Blackfoot, Idaho. Blackfoot. Oh, wow. Idaho. I've never been to that part of Idaho. It's as beautiful as I have been told. You know, it's kind of normal. Way to sell your hometown, dude. Well, welcome to the show, Ben. Bill Curtis is going to read you

three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play? Sure. All right, well, then let's do it.

Here is your first limerick. Like a cayenne, it'll help when legs fail, right? You never see dogs or cats flail. This appendage or limb also helps at the gym. I prevail with my new robot... Tail. Tail, yes! A company in Japan has developed a strap-on smart tail

designed to stabilize the elderly by helping maintain their balance. You think your aunt is dangerous now? Wait till she becomes Dr. Octopus. So the idea is, is like these tails' movements and strategic weight act as a counterbalance

to prevent falls. Sleek metal design makes you look terrifying. It's tough to imagine the way this conversation would go with your loved ones. Grandma, we've all been talking and we all think it's time for you to have a tail. What if you fell forward, though? If you're fainting that way, then that tail's not going to... Well, if you fall forward, the tail will whip around in the air really cool.

That'll be great. If that tail was on the front, that'd be really funny. Here's your next limerick. In the cheap airline seat where I sat, I was strafed by a twice-airborne rat. When vampires fret, they need comforting pets. So I'm sharing this flight with a... A bat!

A bat, yes! A Newark-bound Spirit Airlines flight The flight was thrown into a frenzy when a bat started flying around the cabin Of course the bat wanted to go to New Jersey Everyone was afraid of the bat until they realized that on Spirit, that's your in-flight meal. If you catch it, it's free. Wait, it was an

emotional support bat? No, it was just a bat that got on the plane. Somehow the bat got on the plane and they didn't find it, they took off. And all of a sudden this bat's flying around the cabin. What a lazy bat. It can fly. It can fly.

And it's like, yeah, I'm that bat. I'll get on a plane. I don't feel like doing it today. A plane is basically a segue for a flying animal. I could do this, but why though?

Here is your last limerick. When I milked her, the cow gave a shudder. My milkmaid heart started to flutter. I tugged it. It said moo. And I said, I do. My beau put a ring on her. Utter? Utter, yes.

A dairy farmer in Singapore made headlines around the world for proposing to his girlfriend by slipping a ring around her cow's udder so she'd be surprised when she went to milk it. We don't know yet if the woman said yes, but what we do know is technically the farmer is now engaged to the cow. Put the ring on, that's what happened. Which is pointless, everybody knew he was already getting the milk for free. So he had to get it on the udder.

Yeah. That's the gross part. Yeah. When you think about it, I mean, a ring on an udder, it sounds crazy, but it's just a kind of nipple ring. Bill, how did Ben do in our quiz? Ben was perfect Ben, you're great Congratulations, Ben, well done Thanks so much for playing

Thank you Take care Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you please give us the scores? Hari and Alonzo each have two. Helen has three.

Oh, well, let's see. So Helen has three. All right, we have flipped a coin, and Alonzo has decided to go first. So, here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump was met by protesters during his visits to Dayton and blank. El Paso.

Right. This week, the Dow dropped 500 points after blank devalued their currency. China. Right. Best known for the novels Beloved and The Bluest Eye, Nobel Prize winner blank passed away this week at the age of 80. Tony Mars. Dogs. Ebola. Disney. Ebola? Right. On Tuesday, movie giant Blank announced the monthly price of its upcoming video streaming service.

Disney. Right. After receiving a 911 call from a hungry boy asking for pizza, police in Florida blanked. Delivered a pizza? Exactly. Exactly. But first, they went to his house and taught him an important lesson about how to use 911. Then they brought him a pizza.

Authorities at the Sanford, Florida, police department sent three officers, three officers, to the boy's house where they talked with him about what constitutes an emergency and that pizza, no matter how delicious, is not an emergency. Then they went to Pizza Hut and got him a pizza. The boy said he has learned his lesson and next time he calls 911,

he'll be sure to ask for breadsticks as well. Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz? He got six right. That's 12 more points. Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz? He got six right. That's 12 more points. Total of 14 puts him in a very comfortable spot. All right.

Hari, let's see if you can make him uncomfortable. You're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, President Trump sued California over their new law requiring presidential candidates to release their blank. Tax returns. That's right. After tripping outside his home in Kentucky, Senate Majority Leader Blank fractured his shoulder.

Mitch McConnell. Right. In an escalating battle over the disputed Kashmir reason, Pakistan announced plans to suspend all trade with blank. Yeah, come on. It's India. Right. On Wednesday, Puerto Rico's Supreme Court ruled that the swearing in of the territory's

new blank was unconstitutional. Governor. Governor, yes. Responding to rumors that he had died, the president of Turkmenistan blanked to prove that he was still alive. Shot a video. No, he did donuts in front of a giant flaming pit called the Gateway to Hell. Following the shootings over the last weekend, web company Cloudfire announced it was cutting ties with controversial online message board blank. 8chan.

Right. On Thursday, President Trump said he was considering commuting the sentence of disgraced Illinois Governor blank? Blagojevich. Oh, good enough. Blagojevich. Blagojevich. Basketball player Donnell Cooper tried to cheat a routine drug test but was busted when

the test came back and showed he was blank. He was pregnant. Yes, he was pregnant. Cooper. He was pregnant. Yes, he was pregnant. Cooper plays for a European league and he tried to cheat the drug test by using his girlfriend's urine. And he got some great news. His shooting accuracy was really high.

The league suspended Cooper for two years, which is a pretty amazing paternity leave. And by the way, this is how he found out they were going to have a baby. Congratulations, you're soon to be an unemployed dad. Bill, how did Hari do in our quiz? Well, he slept into the lead. He got seven right, 14 more points, 16.

All right, then. How many, then, does Helen Hong need to win? Seven big ones. Here we go, Helen. Here we go, Helen. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the U.S. issued a travel advisory over continued pro-democracy protests in blank.

Hong Kong. Right. According to a new report, Apple has added software to the new blanks to prevent third-party battery repair. iPhone. Yes. This week, former Vice President Joe Biden accused blank of fanning the flames of white supremacy. Trump. Right. On Wednesday, 680 people were arrested during ICE raids in blank. Mississippi. Right. This week, presidential hopeful Bill de Blasio came under fire for reportedly asking NYPD officers to blank. Stop eating donuts? No, to help his daughter move. What?

Yeah, on Monday, authorities in Minnesota charged disgraced R&B singer blank with two counts of solicitation. R. Kelly? Right, on Wednesday, paleontologists discovered the bones of a giant blank that was as tall as a small child. A hedgehog? No, a parrot. A woman in Florida is waiting on repairs after lightning

struck near her home and blanked. Lightning struck near her home and hit a hedgehog. No, lightning struck near her home and exploded her toilet. The woman said she was startled awake by the loudest sound she'd ever heard, only to find that her bathroom was a disaster area and her toilet had been shattered into a thousand pieces. It turns out the lightning had struck her septic tank, igniting the methane gas inside it, sending the explosion through the pipes and into her bathroom. Gross. At least, that's what her husband said.

Before nervously excusing himself and rushing out the door. Bill, did Helen do well enough to win? She got five right, ten more points, but a total of 13 means that Hari is the winner. Congratulations, Hari! In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict now that nobody's using SoulCycle what will be the next big exercise fad.

But first, let me tell you. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions' Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our house manager is Simon Tran, and our web guru is Beth Novy. This week, we say goodbye to our interns, Penina Beattie and Lila Francis. Penina, you will never be a professional dart player,

but I know I'll sound great on your podcast someday. And Lila, you have more energy than anyone should, and without your listener feedback newsletter, I would never know how many mistakes I make each week. Good luck to you both. DJ Linneman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dernbos, and Lillian King.

Special thanks this week to Ron Metellus. Technical directions from Lorna White. Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, after SoulCycle,

what will be the next big exercise craze? Hari Kondabolu. Every time your local radio station has a pledge drive, run around the block when they ask you for money. You might lose NPR, but you'll definitely lose some weight. Helen Hall. Counting all the Democrats running

for president, it's exhausting. It's a huge number. And Alonzo Votden. Simply jumping to conclusions. Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Hari Kondabolu, Helen Hong, and Alonzo Bowden. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Shager. We'll see you next week. Thank you. This is NPR.