Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - HTDE: Forks and Ice Masters

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

This week: Mike and Ian talk with an Olympic Ice Master, help a listener who keeps meeting people with their same name, and get to the bottom of a mysterious survey glitch.You can email your burning questions to [e-mail] To Do Everything is available without sponsor messages for supporters of Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me+, who also get bonus episodes of Wait Wait Don't…Tell Me! featuring show outtakes, extended guest interviews, and a chance to play an exclusive WW+ quiz game with Peter! Sign up and support NPR at plus.npr.org. How To Do Everything is hosted by Mike Danforth and Ian Chillag. It is produced by Schuyler Swenson. Technical direction from Lorna White.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

This message comes from How to Be a Better Human, a podcast from Ted for the self-help skeptic. Hear how you can laugh more in your everyday life, explained with science, insights, and hilarious stories. Listen to How to Be a Better Human, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, it's Peter once again in your Wait, wait, wait feed. I am so pleased to present to you another episode of How to Do Everything by Wait, Wait, producers Ian and Mike. Now remember, you can only get these episodes of how to do everything in our feed for a short while. So if you love the kind of mysteries that Mike and Ian are revealing, make sure you subscribe to how to do everything at their own feed. Thanks. At this very moment,

the hockey prelims at the Winter Olympics in Milan Cortina are happening. And I think it's fair to say the man that made it all possible is Don Moff. Don is the chief ice maker for ice hockey at the games. That means he's in charge of building the rink and making sure the ice is perfect. He's done this at five Olympic Games. He's joining us online now from Milan. Don, what gives you the magic touch with ice? You know, I don't know that there's a magic touch.

It's just kind of a passion for the sport of hockey that, you know, I just want to create the best surface I can for the, you know, I just want to create the best surface I can for the best athletes in the world to be able to do what they do without them having to worry about ice conditions or problems with the rinks. And now I have a vast amount of experience dealing with the Olympics, which are very difficult. You know, there's just so much bureaucracy that I'm always incredibly excited when I actually get to get a, you know, an ice tool or a Zamboni onto the ice or, you know, start making ice type thing. Now, this venue, it's not a hockey venue. It's not purpose built, right? It's a concert hall, do we understand?

Yeah, it's a concert entertainment venue. Yeah. So there must have been unique challenges this time. Yeah, there was a lot of different challenges. You know, right from the start, we at an Italian company, created a temporary rank situation. where we have insulation on the concrete floor because we don't want to freeze their new floor and break it. And then on top of that insulation is our refrigeration piping. Being in a concert hall, does it sound great this ice?

It does. Really? It does. Well, with this temporary system, it's funny. It's one of the things that I'm talking to teams and players about is it's going to sound way different than a normal, you know, for example, an NHL building. The ice is much, much louder. It sounds hollow.

Yeah. You know, the players start to say that it feels hollow, but then they're like, no, no, it feels good, but it just sounds weird. Oh, so they, since it sounds hollower than they're used to, I guess it would make you nervous if you were skating on it. Yes. Just for the first one, you know, it's funny. When the players first jump on, they start skating around,

and you see them looking down at the ice going, what the heck is going on? And then they get into practice and they forget about it. Oh, but what a fun element for us as viewers to know when we're watching them skate? Yeah, yeah. With all that action on the ice, are you, Don, really protective of your ice when you're watching a game?

Do you feel like, oh, come on, guys? During the games, not so much, because I don't want to have any effect on the teams or the players. But, you know, leading up to the games, oh, yes. Yeah, it's my child. I'm very protective of it. You know, anybody that's going on, whether it's photographers, practice, ceremony practices, anything,

I have to approve and make sure that I know that they're going on and give them directions and make sure that their timing fits with our timing. to get things ready for the games. Is that your spectator experience? Like, you know, when we watch, we're watching who's going to score, who's going to win. Are you thinking about the ice the whole time when they're playing? Oh, 100%. Really?

100%. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm listening to the sound of the skates. I'm watching the skate marks. I'm feeling the snow and picking the snow up during the TV timeouts when there's commercials that on the TV channels. I'm out on the ice surface with an infrared. red gun measuring temperatures and, you know, of the ice and the air to make sure that everything's still good.

Wow. Yeah, I'm pretty busy during a, pretty busy during a game. So if we're watching the game, we should be able to find you somewhere. Maybe I'll be the ice. Hopefully not. Usually, like I say, it's commercials. Okay. So they typically don't show live.

They go away and, you know, commercials kind of run sports nowadays. Yeah, well, I guess that's true. When you're out to eat and you get ice water or I don't know if you're a cocktail person, you get a cocktail, are you, do you check out the ice in your drink? Absolutely. Yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I want to see if it's nice and crystal clear. If it's cloudy, if it's cloudy, then I know the water is not quite the best or it was made at the wrong temperature. Wait a second, Don. So what's your ice game at home? What are you doing in your own freezer? Do you have those special, you know, ice things? No, and nothing crazy? No, I've got some nice filters.

You know, so I've got some nice ice cubes, but just some really good filters on the waterline going to the freezer. Did you have to do that yourself or did that come with the... No, no, I did it yourself. Yeah, no. So are you the chief ice maker in your own home then, too? Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. Yeah. Well, Don, thank you so much for talking to us about what you do.

Absolutely. No problem at all. This is How to Do Everything. I'm Ian. And I'm Mike. On today's show, what to do when you meet someone with the same name as you? But first, over the last couple years, people who are taking surveys online have encountered an odd error. Anna Brown is a survey methodologist at the Pew Research Center. Anna, can you tell us about this? Of course. So, yeah, we had one of our surveys in the field, and we found out that some people, as they went through the survey, many of the questions looked perfectly normal.

And then they would come to a yes, no question, such as, you know, do you ever use the internet? And it would say forks no instead of yes or no. and people were understandably a little confused about what was going on. The one I saw first was the question was, are you pregnant? And your choices were forks or no? Yeah. So that was actually, this has been popping up on other people's surveys as well. So, yeah, on kind of medical questionnaires that you fill out before a doctor's appointment,

that seems to be a commonplace that we've been seeing this online. Yeah. So we realize that we've been. are not alone. Okay. So these are online or at least on computer surveys that people are filling out. And wherever it says you choose between yes or no, it says you're choosing between forks and no. What's happening? So that's what we wondered. This has never happened to us before. We tried to replicate it. We tried. We just started going through the survey a bunch of times using different browsers, using phones, using computers. And then my co-worker messaged me and was like, it's real.

I saw forks. And so from there, we were able to figure it out. And something in the survey was telling the Google Chrome browser, this survey's in Spanish. So what it was doing was it was trying to translate this survey that was completely in English into English. Yeah, so indeed, it looks like they have now fixed this issue in Google Translate, but up until recently, if you went to Google translate and you said, I'm typing in Spanish, but you wrote yes in English and then told it you wanted it to translate from Spanish to English, it would translate yes to Forks. whatever was happening, the software was saying, I don't know what this word is. I guess it's probably forks.

Yep. I can't really speak to what was going through Google Translates head when it did that. But yeah, something there was, there were some crosswires. Wow. So I don't know. At what point, like how many responses had you received? Do you know that people completed the survey? by selecting, well, I guess if my choices are forks or no, my answer is forks.

Right. So obviously our next thought was, oh, no, we need to make sure this isn't completely, you know, destroying our survey. I mean, we had sent out tens of thousands of letters inviting people to take this survey. And also, every single person who pointed out clearly understood that it was a yes, no question. They all said the word yes. is being replaced by forks. So it's not like, they were like, I don't know what forks could possibly mean. We think this was a pretty isolated incident, only happened to hopefully a handful of people and it didn't seem to really impact the results.

But, yeah, we were a little bit worried there for a minute, but we're pretty confident in the results now. I just want to say, this is the funniest Pew Research survey I've ever read. Yeah, it's definitely the funniest thing that's ever happened to me. I would not say, you know, survey methodology is known for its humor necessarily. So I was very popular at the annual conference that year. I think for the rest of the show, what we should do is we should replace any yes with forks. Just to give a sort of audio experience of what the people taking these surveys face.

Just to see what it's like to live in a world where forks is what you say instead of yes. Do you, Mike, do you think this is a good idea to do this? Forks. This message comes from Wise, the app for international people using money around the globe. You can send, spend, and receive in up to 40 currencies with only a few simple taps. Be smart. Get Wise. Download the Wise app today or visit wise.com. T's and Cs apply.

There's a lot going on right now. Mounting economic inequality, threats to democracy, environmental disaster, the sour stench of chaos in the air. I'm Brooke Gladstone, host of WNYC's On the Media. Want to understand the reasons and the meanings of the narratives that led us here and maybe how to head them off at the past? That's on the media's specialty. Take a listen wherever you get your podcasts. On Planet Money, we have covered a lot of topics. Like, just try searching something on the internet and adding Planet Money to the end of it. Tariff prices, Planet Money, that's an episode. Stop Sign War, Planet Money, that too. Alaska Halibut Derby, Planet Money.

If you can ask it, we have probably answered it. Planet Money, listen on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. If you have a question you'd like to ask, go ahead and send it to us at How To at NPR dot org. That's our email address. It can be a how to question. It can be a simple forks or no question. Whatever it is you are wondering about whatever it is you need help with. Go ahead, send it to us and we will do our best. Forks. Hey Valerie, what can we help you with? So my name is a little unique, not unusual, but I don't need a lot of Valerie. However, when I do, it's like me an old You haven't seen me in a decade and there's this instant connection and it's just a feeling of,

oh my gosh, I can't believe it's you. Oh, uh-huh. Forks. You know, what is that magic that's happening? Can you tell us, Valerie, about your most recent meeting with another Valerie? Forks. That was just a few months ago. It had been a long time since I met another Valerie, maybe four years or something.

Oh. So it was actually at the doctor's office. and I had to go to the front desk and, you know, talk to them. So this woman heard me say my name, and she was a Valerie, of course. So once I left the front desk, she came over, and she was like, my name's Valerie too. And I was like, hello, you know. We did the whole thing of, oh, I can't believe it's you. And then she was like, oh, when's your birthday?

It was the whole thing. Wow. So you're at the doctor's office, which is a place where we actually have laws to protect people's privacy. This other person overheard you. She just couldn't help but introduce herself to you. Right. So Valerie, I'm thinking maybe the person to call here, the people to call here. My parents are named Sean and Sean. It's spelled the same. My mom and dad are both named Sean Chilog. So it's something they've been dealing with for 50 years. And I feel like if they'll take our call, we should see if they can give us some insight into the connection of people with the same

name. That sounds great. Hi, it's Sean Chilog and I am the female Sean Chilog. And I'm Sean Chilog, the male, Sean Chilog. Welcome, Shons. Thank you. You two have been together. since what, your junior year of high school? No. You mean in a not platonic way? Romantically. You've been a couple since when. Yeah.

Yeah. It was... We were 15. Well, the first time I heard of Sean, he was just a little bitty. And he was... I mean, I didn't see him. My brother just told me about him because he had been a lifeguard. and told me about this tiniest boy making the one mile badge you get for swimming a mile.

And he said that not only was it amazing to see this little guy swimming, his name was Sean. Wow. So how old do you think you were then, Dad? Maybe 11 or so. Wow. I think you were more like five. No, come on. I don't think I was.

I could have been 10, I guess. Yeah, but when I met Sean, he was shorter than me. Okay. That was a Boy Scout camp. You met at a Boy Scout camp? No. Yeah, she was the harlot. I got to see this short swimmer.

Where is he? Yeah. Dad, do you remember the first time you heard about Sean? Yes. Well, I'd heard about her just in passing. But the first time I saw her was at some probably a junior high basketball game. What was your first date? Oh, I'm sure we went to the movie doing anything.

There was nothing to do in Logan. I'm sure we went. Other than sex, it wasn't anything. Okay, all right. Yeah, Ian's here, you guys. Come on. I hope you're going to edit that. I'm going to try and edit it out of my brain.

I'm going to turn an echo on so that it lives forever. Well, I remember, Mom, I found your, I think maybe your sophomore year book from high school. And dad had written in the back to Sean. You have a cool name. I hope to get to know you better. Sean. Oh, no. That sounds like Sean.

Do you think you all would be together if you weren't both named Sean? Was that a big part of your early connection? Oh. I don't think so. No, I don't either. I mean, that's why we met, but we just liked each other. Can you all remember a time or two that both being named Sean, people have had a funny or surprising reaction to it?

One time a person thought I didn't know any personal. pronouns because I was talking about Sean, but she thought I was talking about myself. How long did that go on for? Well, actually, it must have been a semester because it was back in the days in college. I don't know. I guess I spoke about him a lot. In derogatory ways. Yeah.

Well, that does it for this week's show. What did you learn, Ian? Well, I learned that if you're a kid out there thinking about what you want to be when you grow up, one possible job is Master of Ice. Ice Master. Don didn't ever talk about being called the Ice Master, but that's how he is known in the Olympic coverage. Which really sounds like a superhero.

And then I think everything Don does is amazing, but I think if you heard, you were about to meet the Ice Master. You would think Don had more going on. Is it possible? And I don't know, we didn't get into this, into the technical parts, but we don't know that Don doesn't shoot ice out of his hands to make the hockey rink. Totally, yeah. The idea that you could make a hockey rink in an old Italian concert hall is implausible without superpowers.

Yeah, it's ridiculous. Nice try, Don. What about you, Mike? What did you learn today? I learned that your parents had sex. Yeah, you know, if you asked me, Ian, would you like me to stop talking about that? My answer will be...

Forks. How to Do Everything is produced by Skyler Swenson with technical direction from Lorna White. Our intern is Sean Gillock, and we're not going to tell you which one. Send us your questions to at npr.org. I'm Ian. And I'm Mike.

Thanks. Thanks.