Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - HTDE: How To Make Lasagna Without An Oven, with Peter Sagal

Episode Date: September 17, 2025

Today, Mike and Ian recruit the help of legendary Taste-Tester-Turned-Public-Radio-Host Peter Sagal to rate a new, unorthodox approach to making lasagna. Plus, a listener calls in claiming he’s physically incapable of burping, so the guys ask a medical professional to help him out.You can email your burning questions to [e-mail] To Do Everything won’t live in this feed forever. If you like what you hear, scoot on over to their very own feed and give them a follow.How To Do Everything is available without sponsor messages for supporters of Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me+, who also get bonus episodes of Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! featuring show outtakes, extended guest interviews, and a chance to play an exclusive WW+ quiz game with Peter! Sign up and support NPR at plus.npr.org.How To Do Everything is hosted by Mike Danforth and Ian Chillag. It is produced by Heena Srivastava. Technical direction from Lorna White.******(Once again) after listening:“I am OOO from (INSERT DATES HERE). For any urgent concerns, please email Mike and Ian at [e-mail]. Please bear in mind that Mike and Ian don’t know anything about anything and their help may in fact make your urgent concern worse, but they did promise to answer any email they get from this out of office message.”Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Hey, it's Mike Danforth, executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Here's a great way to get the perks of being an NPR producer without doing any of the work. Join NPR Plus. With NPR Plus, you get extended interviews, inside looks at your favorite shows, and more. All while supporting NPR and never having to pull an all-nighter. Or if you work on one of the news shows, an all-morninger. Sign up at plus.npr.npr.org. Hey, guys, it's Peter, and once again, you were finding in your Wait, Wait, Feed,

a new episode of our sister podcast, How to Do Everything. Now, you might be saying, I don't want this. I want Peter. I've got such good news for you because in today's episode, I am in it being humiliated as of old by being asked to eat something. Let's just say questionable. So enjoy this week's How to Do Everything and make sure, if you like it, go on over to their own feed and subscribe.

Sorry, can I help you? Hey, can I ask, is there somebody there who can help me with a cooking question about lasagna? I can help you. Okay, we're making lasagna, and we want to get all the ingredients right. Here's the trick. We're making it in the dishwasher. What? Celaree, may I help you?

Hi, I have a question. It's a food cooking question. Is there somebody who could help me with lasagna, a lasagna recipe question? Oh, well, we don't do lasagna. But, oh, okay. We have pasta, like mustacholi, reggahtoni, spaghetti. Have you, we're going to make this lasagna in the dishwasher? No.

Do you have any advice? No, no. I don't know. Nothing about no dishwasher or nothing. in Chicago, Illinois. Please listen carefully. Grand Appliance. This is Colby. How can help you? Hey, we're trying to, we're looking for a dishwasher.

We want to see which is the best dishwasher that we can use to cook a lasagna? The best dishwasher to cook a lasagna? Yeah. Have you ever heard of this? You cover it and put it in the dishwasher and hit go? Exactly right. You take the noodles. You put it. put all the things down, and you wrap it in three pieces of foil, and then you put it in the dishwasher, you want to put it flat, and apparently you have to run it for a full cycle. At the end of that, you have edible lasagna.

I believe it. Anything that hits sanitary level, like, I think, 162 degrees or something. So use the sanitize, to hit the sanitize if it has that. Because that's a specific degree to be recognized as sanitized. fatization or whatever. Can I ask you another question? One recipe I read said you have to put detergent in it so that it will run for the full cycle.

Is that true? No, no. You definitely don't do that if you're going to eat it. That's what I thought. Would you eat lasagna out of a dishwasher? I'm from southern Illinois, so I'd probably. I've eaten much worse. Yeah, I'd do it.

I also heard, do you ever use cottages? cheese in your lasagna? No. Check that out. It's really next level. Okay. But yeah. Would it void the warranty of the dishwasher, do you think, to make lasagna in it?

No. I mean, I don't see how it would. I just wouldn't tell anybody. Yeah. All right. This is How to Do Everything. I'm Ian. And I'm Mike.

Coming up, How to Burp. But first, dishwasher lasagna. On our other show, the other show we want. work on. Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. We recently did a story about how some people say the best way, the best place to cook a steak is in your dishwasher. So this got us curious, what else can you cook in your dishwasher? We looked around and we found a recipe for lasagna. We're going to make some and then we're going to feed it to our official taste tester, Peter Sagal. You'll know we're in the office kitchen when we start speaking in hush tones.

so the recipe says we need three sheets of foil okay so that's three sheets we're gonna then put the lasagna so I guess we want three sheets to protect it from the dishwasherness of all of this so yeah we want to avoid contact with any of that stuff that I just assume swirls around in the dishwasher once you run it I usually wash my dishes in the sink so I would be cooking the lasagna in the sink just running hot water over it for three and a half hour Two and a half hours. Whatever it takes.

Yeah, long time. That was really good sound. Thanks. I always feel like audio is the best medium for cooking demonstrations. Sound-based. Was it you who said sound is the most visual medium? What I said was, as Mike said, sound is the most visual medium. And I was quoting you.

I think go all the way to the edge, right? I'm just going to spread this out over the noodles. It's interesting, right? because usually you try to get the food off your plates before it goes in the dishwasher, but now we want as much food as possible in the dishwasher so that the most food comes out. Yeah, instead of scraping our food into the garbage before we put it in the dishwasher, we're scraping our food on. We're using the food to create garbage, which we're going to feed to Peter.

So I brought these herbs. I'm just going to put some on here. Sure. I think anything to mask the centuries of tide pots that have gone through the dishwasher. Sure. I think we want a lot of garlic. Okay, I'm going to sprinkle on. This is just some dread beza. You can do whatever kind of Italian spices you want. I like these three.

So this seems, this is flavor blasted lasagna. So right now we're folding it all up around the lasagna to make sure we get a good seal. Oh, are you going to kind of roll it up? Do you want to get all the outside? Yeah. All right. So then I'm going to roll this. This feels good to me. This feels like we've accounted for any potential water access points. We may not be right. We may discover that there were something we forgot. It's like it's a little bit cooking. It's a little bit dishwashing. It's a little bit origami. Yeah, that's right. It's a little bit ending a friendship. Closing it up. I'm going to leave the detergent capsule empty.

No detergent. Okay. So we're going to put it on. sanitize that gets us our highest heat okay there's a button that says extra shine should do we want yeah why not okay um wait there is a button here that says al dente okay bring in a fast forward here yeah we're not going to sit here for two and a half hours while the lasagna washes yeah but if you want to get a feel for what we're doing just go ahead and stare at your dishwasher uh for the next two and a half hours. If you don't have a dishwasher, you can also

start your refrigerator. Any appliance, just make sure... A microwave. Not to break eye contact with the appliance for two and a half hours. The full cycle. All right, here we go. We're going to open the dishwasher.

The door is still hot. Oh, boy. The aluminum foil has changed color. It really has, right? Dulled. It got stiff. Did it get heavier? Okay.

I think it got heavier. Okay, we put the lasagna on a plate. We are running it into the studio where Peter Segal is waiting. And he has no idea what we're about to feed him. It looks like a normal, not very good lasagna. All right, Peter, you're here. Yes, I am. So what do you see before you?

I see before me what I would have to say looks like maybe a, a one or two layer lasagna. That is what I would describe it as. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. It's lasagna. I'm rotating it slowly. Yes, I'm seeing now, as we rotate, I see the lasagna noodle. I see

the... Does anything seem unusual about it? Does any... Well, all right, I'm going to give you an honest answer. I'm rotating in a manner of like a diamond and like a commercial. It's like slowly spinning. Nothing per se. Okay, go ahead and cut into it. Cut yourself a piece.

I do this, and I'm going to do it no matter how you answer this, but I just want to be prepared. Will anything scream? In the lasagna? In the lasagna? Not you? Yes. So, I'm just like, there's no living creature in here. Everything is, everything should be okay. Everything should be okay. Okay. I just want to, I just want

to say that when Ian asked me to come in today and do this, he said, come hungry. All right. Oh, God. All right. I am chewing it, as the audience may hear. And it doesn't taste good, but kind of a humid feel to it, you know? It's a little, um, soggy maybe. The actually is kind of a little

locker roomy. A humid lasagna. That makes sense. Do you think so? Just like, I know, I mean, let me put it this way. If I, if I were served this, perhaps, in a restaurant, I might push it slowly away and then do the thing where you cut it and so it looks like you've eaten it, so I don't want to offend the server. You wouldn't send it back. That entirely depends on what you tell me. Nothing. There is. I mean, there could be, depending on what you say, there could be, I could send back, I could

stop out, I could sue them, depending on what. Well, it won't take effect for another five minutes. God. All right, well, Peter, let me tell you, we made it, not in an oven, but in the dishwasher. Ah. Ah. let me ask you in

I'm what did what did was it just was it just sitting there like so that's why it feels wet oh it was wrapped in multiple layers of aluminum foil and then like folded over and sealed I want to have a bite do you want to have

a bite I will have a bite yeah let me just bring up Google Translate because I think it's worth knowing what this dish would be called in Italian La lasagna di something

What's the dishwasher? Oh, it actually See, the Italian name Lasagna da la lavasstoville You'd eat that You'd say if somebody came out and said Yeah with that accent If that guy

That guy said on our special today Lasagna da lavastovill You'd be like, aren't we lucky honey that we have come in when the special Today is the presser Lasagna da lavastovilla Yeah So now, what part of the cow is the La Las Javier?

Peter, a five-star rating. What do you give this? With all apologies to both you, the dishwasher, and the Google Translate AI voice, it's not good, you know? It's not inedible if I was very, very hungry, and I didn't want to offend the person who gave it to me. Okay, prove it. Neither of those conditions apply.

We want to remind you if you have a question or something you need help with, send it to us. Send us your questions at how-to at npr.org. You can also, if you have an idea for something, we can feed to Peter unwittingly. You can also send that to how-to at npr.org. Don't send the food itself as an attachment, but maybe just suggest the food in words. And we will make it in a dishwasher. Whatever it is, send it to us at how-to at npr.org. Hey, if you'll remember an episode ago, we offered to be your out-of-office email contact.

Bearing in mind, we don't know how to do anything, but you can put this out-of-office message, which will put once again in our show notes for you. put that in your email. And if anybody reaches out to us, we'll try and help them. And we've actually been getting some of these out-of-office emails. One of them came from Amanda. The subject of the email was, request for final case counts from August 29th, 2025. So let's do it.

Let's call her up and see if we can help her out. I don't think we're going to be able to. I don't even, yeah, we will not have those case counts. The Baudelmeister, this is Amanda. Hey, Amanda, it's Mike and Ian calling. We got your email from an out-of-office forward. You were looking for the final case counts from August 29th. Does that ring a bell?

Where are you calling from? I'm afraid I have no idea. I can read you the email if you want, if that helps. Yes, I guess it would help you. Thank you. Okay. So what you wrote was, hello. I'm currently working on the invoice for bottling that was done on 829, 2025.

It looks like we still do not have your case counts. Please send me your final case counts, so I may adjust your invoice correctly. Thank you, Amanda, the Bottomaster. Oh, I think it was from... Is that a good... Do you work with them a lot? We do, and then I did contact someone else, and they gave me the correct email. Okay.

Yeah, because we... Hopefully it said in the out-of-office message, that Mike and I don't actually know anything. We just were offering to help. Yes, I remember now. Yes. And so when I spoke with her, she gave me a different one. Interesting.

Okay. So they got back in the office then, and then they relieved us of our duties. Yes, from my understanding. You guys are off the hook. Okay. Can I ask, what kind of business do you do? What are you bottling? It's wine.

Oh. So they made wine and then you put it in bottles for them? We sure do. What kind of wine was? Was it any good? That I do not know. Well, thanks, Amanda. Thank you, and I appreciate the follow through.

So it's working. We're not, we are not working, but the system is working. Yep. We also got one from Amanda McLaughlin. So she's responding to an out of office for Lauren. How do I shop for a used car? in 2025. That's a good question.

I will say my car that I currently have is at this moment, at the mechanic. And they discovered that rodents had been eating the engine. Are you serious? So Amanda, I'd be happy to sell you my used car. Just

send us your best offer for a 2021 Subaru cross trek with an engine compartment filled with rats. And just send your best offer to how to at NPR. And again, everybody out there, put us as your out-of-office email contact, and we will do our best to help. We'll do our best.

Hey, JP, what can we help you with? So, my question centers around the fact that I, oddly enough, can't burp. So I've wondered for years now if it's how to burp. Like, if it's something that could be taught, or if it's... just something for me that I'm not able to do or what the what's going on there have you ever burped so what I what happens when I have like post food or a soda or something like that I might have like what I described as like gurgling noises that I feel like fill in the gap for what would be a burp yeah I think I've heard that before could we can can we ask you to demonstrate the gurgling noise as best

you can. I wish I could. It's not a sound I can really recreate because it comes from my chest. So it sounds maybe like this is, it's not like the, it's not that you never learned how to burp. It's just that you physically can't do it. Yeah, exactly. And is this, is it, is it, is it emotional? Do you, do you feel left out of the burping world? Oh, yeah, for sure. Because I feel like I get indigestion. I have the feeling of what I would think would be like the necessity to burp. but it just wasn't. I just want to say that about 20 seconds ago, I just burped. I really did.

And I wonder if it was like a sympathetic burp? Oh, yeah, like a yawn. Have you burped at all? I think it would be rude. Personally, I think it would be rude to do it at all in this professional setting, but also in front of JP, who is longing to be able to do what you just did, nearly, as if it were nothing. And then I just want to apologize

to both of you for doing something that is rude, but then specifically to JP, for kind of showing off. I appreciate the empathy. So we're going to do our best to get to the bottom of this. Hopefully solve this problem for you.

Can I ask you a favor? Sure. Next time you feel this sound, this froggy sound coming on, could you call Are, do we have a voicemail, Heena? Yeah, we have a voicemail. And just do the sound into the phone.

Totally. Okay, well, we're going to see what we can do here, JP. And our goal is to get you burping as quickly as possible. I appreciate that. Okay, so JP did send us a voice memo. Let's listen to it. I don't, there's no journalistic reason to do this, but I would like to listen to that again.

Let's play it one more time. That's pretty good. Let's slow it down also. Hina, can you put a little beat under that? We have somebody on the line. All right, we have somebody on the line who hopefully can help J.P. Dr. Michael Lerner is an ear, nose, and throat doctor with Yale medicine. So, Michael, what do you have for us?

So I'll start by saying that what I'm about to say is not a substitute from, you know, medical advice for JP specifically. Sure. But as far as if someone came to me and said that they can't burp or were unable to ever burp, you're not alone. You know, that kind of description wasn't traditionally considered like a symptom if you go to the doctor and say, I can't burp. You know, in the past, folks would have said, okay, that's not a thing. But it turns out that it is a saying, and only in 2019, so not too long ago, a condition was described in which people couldn't burp. And does this have a name, this condition? So it's called colloquially, or by, you know, by patients, no burp syndrome.

So the name really is easy to understand. The medical terminology obviously can get a little jargony, but it's called retro. retrograde cryopharyngeous dysfunction. The trichopharyngeous muscle is really the valve or the sphincter on top of our esophagus or esophagy. So basically

it's supposed to relax to vent air that's building up in our stomachs or digestive tract. So when it doesn't do that, that recirculating air can make some unusual, sometimes socially awkward noises as it's trying

to get out. And then that trapped air can lead to really uncomfortable, you know, bloating actually in the end, so the swelling in the belly. Oh, wow. So is there, what's the, is there anything you can do about it? Yeah, there is. And it's become, you know, a major focus of what I do is something I'm really happy to treat because the treatment described in 2019 was Botox into that muscle.

And so apparently in this 2019 study by a Dr. Bastion in the, in the Chicago area, actually, you know, injecting Botox into that muscle, the chrychophrinous muscle, and 80 to 90% of people afterwards could burp. And 80 to 90% of people, after the Botox goes away, they've actually, they're able to learn or relearn how to burp in the first place. And so to get this durable resolution for reasons we don't yet fully understand. I'm curious about, I mean, if you've gone your whole life and you've never experienced a burp, doing it for the first time, How do people describe that experience, and do they have to sort of learn how to do it? Yeah, yeah.

So, you know, we've had some where Botox's onset of action is three days, and so I've seen some where we timed in. It's like going to be on their birthday, so it'll be like their birthday. Wow. I have, most patients tend to be, you know, female in their 20s and 30s, and so it's not uncommon until time. I'm burping like a frat guy. Like, it can be a lot in the beginning, but it all settles out over time as the Botox.

wears off. Did you just say, though, their burp day? Yeah, that's the first time they burp. You do these, I do these treatments. And a lot of folks ask me, like, should I go back to work right away? Am I going to be, you know, burping in front of people involuntarily? And the truth is, you know, for folks who've never burp before, and they have the Botox on board, they'll go to yawn. And guess what? A burp's going to come out. Or, you know, they might, you know, like, they didn't know that was going to happen, right? And when we, when we yawn, what's happening is we don't, you know, we don't think about it in medical or anatomical terms, but our voice box is going down. It's dropping low. The idea is that we're, you know, unlocking this block with the Botox, but now as the floodgates

are open, the other muscles have to kick in and figure out where to put the gas and the brakes on. Have you heard from anybody who's gone through this and has gotten, I mean, not necessarily in trouble but has found themselves in a situation where they have burped and then it has caused them awkwardness or they like they regret it um no no but i'll admit that i was um reading a column in in one of the local papers about work etiquette and there was mentioned someone someone was writing in about my my cubicle mate was burping all day long and i don't know if i should talk to them about it and i was thinking i hope that was my patient like i think that's fantastic Well, that does it for this week's show.

What'd you learn, Ian? I learned there are any number of foods you can cook in the dishwasher. Yeah. We did lasagna, but we also found a recipe for ribs. Yeah. We were very close to trying the ribs instead of the lasagna. Based on this experience with the lasagna, what would you make? Like, if you were in charge of making dinner for your family, like, tonight, what would you make?

I think a soup would be interesting. Put all the ingredients in the top rack. Yeah. Put a bowl on the bottom rack. Let all the hot water do all the things that boiling water does in soup. Yeah. And then it would all just settle in the bowl and just pop it right out. If that were a thing that you could do, it would make sense for Tide than to make Tide seasoning pods.

Where you just, instead of soap, it's just herbs and spices. So that when it's washing, it's just swirling those things around your raw ingredients. It's very smart. I mean, is it cooking, right, if it's all pre-packaged? But yeah, well, I think these Tide seasoning pods, this could be our path to financial independent. It's a new meal prep kit from Tide. How to Do Everything is produced by Hina Shravastava with technical direction from Lorna White. If you have any questions or anything you want us to do for you, send us an email at how to at npr. I'm Ian. And I'm Mike.

Thanks. Thanks.