Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody

Episode Date: January 23, 2021

Mandy Patinkin, actor, is joined by his wife Kathryn Grody along with panelists Mo Rocca, Helen Hong, and Josh Gondelman.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Filling in for Bill Curtis, I'm Chioki Ianson, the voice of the NPR credits and the reason you have a weird crush on progressive insurance. And here's your host, here to take the oath of his home office, Peter Saget. Thank you, Chioki. It's great to have you back. Thank you, everybody, for listening this week. That applause you're hearing, of course, is fake. If it were real, it'd be much louder. We've got a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to actor and now TikTok star Mandy Patinkin. But first, a number of people, including a group called United Poultry Concerns, objected to our segment last

week in which we talked about a method of cooking chicken by continually slapping them. Now, we apologize for any upset this may have caused to chicken lovers or chickens, but we were just reporting the news, people. Don't continually slap the messenger. If you have a complaint, keep it to yourself, frankly, but give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, how's it going? Oh, it's going well. Who's this?

This is Kevin Treanor from Atlanta, Georgia. Hey, Kevin, it's good to meet you. What do you do there in Atlanta? So I am a coordinator for the customer service department for a fitness technology company. We make stuff like heart rate monitors, GPS devices, and indoor trainers. So we've been really busy this year. Oh, I can imagine. I own one of those, but I only am forced to use it when I've done something criminal. Do you yourself make use of these devices? Are you one of those data nerds who's constantly writing down like how many watts you put out? Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, I have like four different power meters. Yeah, and do you talk about it a lot to other people? Oh yeah, constantly. I mean, you know, it's my whole life. So you're single then, I presume? Yes, I am. Oh, I thought an indoor trainer was a person, and then I presume. Yes I am. Oh I thought an indoor trainer was a person and then I thought you could date that person. Well welcome to the show Kevin. It's great to have you. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up it's the host of the podcast Make My Day and a writer and co-executive producer for Desus and Mero on Showtime. It's Josh Gondelman. Hello. Hey there. Next, it's a comedian who hosts the new podcast Job Salite.

It explores old-timey jobs from the past. It's Helen Hong. Hi. Finally, a correspondent for CBS Sunday Morning, and author of the New York Times bestselling Mobituaries, Great Lives Worth Reliving. It's Mo Rocca. Hi, Kevin. Kevin, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Chayoke this time. Chayoke Hanson, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can

correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voicemail. You ready to go? Yeah. All right. Here's your first quote. I understand that many Americans view the future with some fear and trepidation. I get it. That was somebody on Wednesday hinting that, yeah, he's not sure he should have taken the job. Who was it? I'm thinking that's Joe Biden. It is, or as we now get to call him President Biden. Joe Biden took the oath of office, becoming the first president ever to begin his inaugural address by saying, well, that happened. Everybody this week is talking about the relief they're feeling, except, of course, for Joe Biden, whose life just got a lot harder.

He just got this new job and already everybody in the country expects him to send them two thousand bucks. Can I just say I loved I thought that Amy Klobuchar was a really good host of this inauguration. But I would have loved to have seen what Kevin Hart would have done. Yeah, it's true. I actually fell asleep during Biden's speech, and it was the best that I have slept in four years. I was like, yes, I feel so rested. But I am actually impressed at CNN's forbearance that they didn't break away from the oath of office to report on what Trump was doing on the plane. I know that is true. I'm torn between

never wanting to hear or see Donald Trump again and wanting him to be on TV every day getting kicked out of another place. Yes. In an inset, I mean, the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Picture in picture. Surprisingly, the breakout star of the inauguration was Bernie Sanders, who attracted a lot of attention with his hand-knit mittens and the way he sat by himself like a grumpy grandpa forced to watch his grandson's school play he said he was happy he didn't seem happy by rights this should be mine i thought it was interesting that he it was interesting to see who didn't get a plus one like dang quail didn't get a plus one bernie sanders

did i i wondered if bernie just had jane waiting out front with the car running so it didn't get too cold just sit here jane it won't be very long. He was holding his mail. He was holding his mail. He was like, I'll be there in 10 minutes. Mike and Karen Pence were there. And it's like, dude, your boss already left. Just knock off for the day. I thought that the Trump exit, though, did anyone see that?

It was kind of amazing how the plane took off perfectly coordinated with the final strains of my way of sinatra singing my way i thought whoever was if only the guy that was in charge of that had been in charge of the vaccination program because that was a master coordination now everybody the other big star of the inauguration was of course amanda gorman the 22 year old poet she became an instant star both of her books shot to the top of the bestseller list after the inauguration. But all these people suddenly getting into poetry are going to be disappointed that poetry is really boring if you're also not getting rid of Donald Trump.

She was fantastic. She was great. I mean, if all poetry could be the way that she delivered the poetry. Oh, yes. I mean, she had like she was doing these like beautiful hand gestures. I don't know. I feel like four years ago we heard Donald Trump's favorite poet recite that incredible verse about the man from Nantucket and the hardships he overcame. All right, Kevin, here is your next quote. Can we get the vaccine at the drive-thru? That was a resident of Washington state reacting to the news that what noted Seattle company is going to be helping distribute vaccines there? Oh, man, I have no idea. Well, they're famous for having been founded in Seattle.

Oh, Starbucks. Starbucks. founded in Seattle. Oh, Starbucks. Starbucks, yes. Starbucks is being deployed in Washington state because of its, quote, expertise in servicing 100 million customers a week, making them well-suited to get out vaccine doses.

It makes a lot of sense, but it does mean that they will triple the price of the vaccine and also give it a funny name for no reason. Hello, who ordered the Vox Sinante Grande? Wait, is this a true story, Peter? This is an absolute true story. They're taking advantage of the remarkable logistic expertise and customer service of the Starbucks Corporation. But half the time they can't even get my soy chai latte right.

Well, whenever I go to Starbucks and I get a vaccine, if I sit for a while, I get a second vaccine just to be polite. Exactly. Do I have to get a vaccine to use the bathroom? Yes, actually. That's a way of getting people to do it, you know? No code unless you get the vaccine. Now, people are lining up to get it, but me, I'm going to wait until it's pumpkin spice vaccine season again.

Kevin, here is your last quote. It's like manspreading, but with something else. Call it manslipping. That was the New York Times. They're talking about a new dumb thing men are doing these days. What? I have no idea. Well, manslipping is a kind of clue.

It's about how men are doing something we're all supposed to be doing when we go out in public. But men, it seems, have trouble doing it correctly. Does it have to do with mask wearing? Yes, it does. The fact that they're not wearing their masks properly, Kevin, that's the answer. It seemed like we finally

had stopped men from exposing themselves at work, but apparently not yet. Whether it's the snorkel, which is when you leave your nose coming out the top of the mask or you let the mask sit in your chin, they call that the Amish beard. Dumb men everywhere are just not wearing their masks right. It's like man super spreading. At the inauguration, many dignitaries were seen doing it, including Chief Justice John Roberts. And then, of course, we saw Garth Brooks basically dip a spatula in a jar of coronavirus and spread it over everybody in attendance.

Right. Yeah. Even Bill Clinton had his mask down below his nose. Well, we expected that. Exactly. Come on. He's not really known for covering up, being discreet. Yeah. His assistants had to keep telling him the masks are for his health, not for some weird eyes wide shut thing. What do you guys do if you see somebody walking around in the store where we're all supposed to be masked, wearing a mask, but like not over his nose?

I do the old fashioned, the 19th century cut direct. I refuse to shake their hand. And then you shout, you shall have no more of my custom, sir. And then you slap him in the face with your gloves. With the glove, exactly. Exactly. And then you have to throw the glove away because he wasn't wearing the mask right. It's a homicilla.

Jokey, how did Kevin do in our quiz? Once again, Atlanta has the votes. Kevin got three right, making him a winner. Congratulations, Kevin. Awesome. That was great. Take care and thanks so much for playing. Thank you.

Congratulations, Kevin. Awesome. That was great. Take care and thanks so much for playing. Thank you. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Josh, President Biden is facing a security concern already. Experts say his beloved what may make the White House vulnerable to hackers. Oh, I know this and it's relevant to our previous listener, Colin, his Peloton.

Yes, his Peloton bicycle. We're surprised he has one because we didn't know Peloton made a penny-farthing model. Peloton bikes are, of course, linked via the internet so that users can enjoy virtual classes and even competition with other douchebags all over the world. And some worry that if President Biden brings his Peloton to the White House, hackers could use it to get into the White House system. It seems, though, that the best security is just to leave it be. Some Russian hacks in and is confronted with a sweaty 78-year-old torso wearing a sleeveless Kiss Me I'm Irish T-shirt. Nyet! Nyet!

I don't understand. Is it the concern? I don't have a Peloton. So is the concern that, is it information or just actually seeing Biden? Well, that's not exactly, I don't think they're worried that like the Russians or the Chinese or whomever

might download President Biden's exercise data. I don't think that's a state secret. But in order to work, a Peloton has to get on Wi-Fi to get to the internet. So if you can get into the Peloton, then you have a way into the Wi-Fi Internet, and then you can download all kinds of state secrets.

So it's not about them being like, oh, a little high blood pressure today. No, it's John Grisham's The Peloton Brief. But the real reason to take away Joe Biden's Peloton is if you know any Peloton people, they cannot stop talking about it. It's so true. Gosh. Because when I'm 78, my exercise regimen is going to be whatever I happen to be doing that day. I'm not buying, I'm not learning new electronics, period, at 78, but certainly not for exercise. not for exercise.

Coming up, our panelists salvage what is left of their reputations in our bluff to listener game called 1-triple-8-wait-wait-to-play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Gunsmoke. Grey's Anatomy. Choose me. Game of Thrones You know nothing, Jon Snow. None of these shows would exist without one guy and his very famous wife.

How Desi Arnaz invented television as we know it on NPR's Planet Money podcast. From NPR in WBZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson. We're playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Helen Hong, and Mo Rocca. And here again is your host, a man sitting alone in the corner wearing his mittens, Peter Segal. Thank you, Chioki, or I should say, thanks, Chioki. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, how are you? I'm fine. Who's this? My name is Chris Martin, and I'm calling from Lavalette, New Jersey. Now, I am from New Jersey, as I occasionally mention. I have no idea where Lavalette is. I'm by Seaside Heights. You know where that Jersey Shore TV show is?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, where the roller coaster was in the ocean following Superstorm Sandy. I'm about a mile from that town. Oh. Do you feel that that show affected people's expectation of what you actual residents of the Jersey Shore might be like? Uh, yeah. I'm a little starstruck just because Roller Coaster in the Ocean is my favorite Bruce Springsteen album. So it's really nice to hear from someone around there.

That's great. Chris, welcome to the show. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Jokey, what is Chris's topic? Reputation rehab. Now reputations get dragged through the mud for plenty of stupid reasons, and they just need a few Tide Pods to clean them up. Our panelists are going to tell you about a reputation that is on the mend. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the weight waiter of your choice, on your voicemail. Ready to play? Yeah. Let's do it then. First, let's hear from Mo Rocca.

So you're ordering the chicken breast and you want to make sure it's not dry, that it's tender. What you really want to ask is, will the chicken be moist? But for the last few years, the word moist has been about as acceptable as phlegm or nubbin. In fact, moist topped the 2016 OED's list of most hated English language words. Now Washington Post writer Emily Heil is bringing moist in from the rain. Her inspiration? Cookbook author Nigella Lawson's obvious attempt to avoid the word in a cake recipe. Lawson described her cake as, quote, wonderfully damp. A damp cake?

Turns out there is no acceptable synonym for moist. Dank? Clammy? I mean, who wants a sweaty cake? Heil cites sexism in the collective squeamishness around moist because of the word's association with the female anatomy. There is, she points out, no equivalent revulsion around adjectives that might describe a man's anatomy. And it's true. I don't mean to brag,

but I have no problem ordering the succulent, monster-sized drumstick. An attempt to rehabilitate the image of the word moist long thought of as being the ugliest word. Your next story of a reputation refurbish comes from Helen Hong. On everyone's list of most hated neighbors ever, there's the guy who blasts EDM at top volume and the retired nudists who don't believe in curtains. But at the very top of the list of bad neighbors may well be the ones who never pick up their dog poop. Now a group of laissez-faire dog owners are hoping to change that attitude. Members of Woof for Freedom or

Woof for short have launched a campaign to make abandoned dog droppings socially acceptable. It's bad for a dog's self-esteem, exclaims Woof president Margie Hunter. Can you imagine if you did your business and then someone rushed over with a plastic bag and scooped up after you with a disgusted look on their face? She also adds, nothing is more natural than duty, so leaving pooch poop is probably good for the environment somehow, right? When asked about the inevitable poop landmine that will have to be avoided by innocent pedestrians, Ms. Hunter just shrugs and responds, well, as they say, happens. just shrugs and responds, well, as they say, happens. People who don't pick up after their own dogs attempting to rehab their own reputation. Your last story of someone or something giving

their name a glow up comes from Josh Gondelman. On his first day in office, Joe Biden announced that the United States would reenter the Paris Climate Agreement. But energy giant ExxonMobil was ready and rolled out a bold environmental proposal of its own. In a dynamic and rapidly evolving world, said CEO Darren Woods at a press conference last week, we need to make sure our climate continues to change with the times. And we here at ExxonMobil want to be a part of that climate change. That's why I'm proud to announce our company's Naturally Occurring Deeper Oceans Initiative. The Naturally Occurring Deeper Oceans Initiative, or NODOI for short, is ExxonMobil's active attempt to deepen the world's bodies of water

by intentionally melting polar ice caps. We know less about our own ocean's depths than we know about outer space, Woods continued ominously. And soon, with deeper oceans, there will be even more to explore. Who knows what we'll find under there? Extra tasty shrimp, sexy merpeople of all races and genders, a cool shark wearing sunglasses. The sky is the limit, except the opposite. Without taking questions, Woods concluded the press conference and climbed atop two Hummer SUVs at once like he was skiing on them, presumably on his way back to ExxonMobil's Dallas headquarters, which he hopes will be beachfront property by the year 2030.

All right, here are your three choices of something that someone attempted to rehab. Was it from Mo Rocca, the word moist, which needs to be used because what better word is there? From Helen Hong, people who don't pick up after their dogs, pleading to be understood and even admired. Or from Josh Gondelman, ExxonMobil, trying to make global warming and sea level rise a good thing by stressing how cool and deep the ocean

will be. Which of these stories of rehab was in fact the true one? I'm going to go with Mo. You're going to go with Mo? Yeah. Well, to give you the correct answer, we spoke to someone very familiar with the real story. There really is no good synonym for moist. We'll just have to get over it. There you go. You're right. That was Emily Heil. She's a food reporter for the Washington Post and the person who, in fact, wrote the article defending the word moist. Congratulations, Chris. You got it right. You earned a point for Mo. You've won our prize, the voice of your choice in your voicemail. Well, thank you so much. And congratulations on the new baby, Peter. Oh, thank you so much. I will I will find the baby and tell him you said hello. I really love the show. Take care. Bye-bye.

And now the game where we try to play it cool around really famous people. It's called Not My Job. Now, when I was a young man, I loved Mandy Patinkin on Broadway and Sunday in the Park with George and Evita. Then I got older and I loved him in The Princess Bride. And then I got even older and loved him in Homeland. For now, he has become a TikTok star and he is here with us now. Mandy Patinkin, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you for welcoming me. It's good to be here. Back when we were allowed to walk down the street, you may remember that vaguely, and people notice you. What do you get noticed for most, do you think? Gosh, I don't get noticed for many things walking down the street. I would say the most common, aren't you that guy from The Princess Bride, is probably the thing that happens the most. Right. Now, for people who don't know, of course, he played Inigo Montoya, progenitor of the famous line. Do you want to go ahead and say it? Hello.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. And we're done. Yeah, we're done. That's it, you guys. We're going home. I'm so done.

I'm screaming. There are worse things to be unknown for. That movie came out, God, I was just out of college. It was the late 80s, 88, around there. And it is still hugely popular. Did you guys have any idea when you made that that this was going to be like this cultural touchstone for the rest of your lives?

Oh, God, no. I certainly had fun. William Goldman wrote The Greatest Swordfighter Ever, so I had the task of learning to be a swordfighter, which was sort of like a sporting event, very much like a sporting event. And that was my job. While wearing that bomb ass wig. Yeah, I had. Well, actually, back then, three quarters of it was my own hair.

No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm wrong about that. It was called a three quarter wig. So the front part was my own hair. No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm wrong about that. It was called a three-quarter wig, so the front part was my own, and I wish I had it now, but then the movie came out, and nobody saw it. It just, you know, what came and left, and then I heard that other movies had that similar treatment, like The Wizard of Oz and many other films. And then people in college started watching it and they pulled their kids and their kids stole their kids. And then all of a sudden it became what it became.

Can I talk to you about your musical theater life? No. But you have to. You have to let me do this because you don't know this, but when I was 12, we had a very intense relationship. I learned every single lyric of the musical Evita. I became obsessed with it. And I didn't know how professional theater worked. And one day it dawned on me, what if Mandy Patinkin is sick one night and can't be in the show and people show up?

And I know all the lyrics to Che. I need him to know that he can get in touch with me in case he needs to take the night off so all those people aren't disappointed and I can be a 12 year old Che Guevara in Evita. So I just want you to know that I'm available. Your mother had called me about this years ago and I've had her number in my book ever since. I tried to get you twice and you were busy. Mo, do you still know the lyrics to the Che part in Evita? Oh, what a circus.

Oh, what a show. Argentina has gone to town over the death of an actress called Eva Perón. You can take it from here. You know, one crazy morning all day and morning all night, falling over ourselves to get all

of the misery right. Very good, Mo. I'm not going to say a word. Mo, would you do something at my memorial? Oh, I'd love to. I can do it from your Yiddish album. I'll try that. Okay, I'd love that. I actually asked Bernadette Peters if she would tap dance in my memorial. She promised me that she would. And then a few years later, she realized that this may come sooner than she thinks. And she let her out of it. And I finally did because she was truly anxiety ridden over the idea that she was going to have to tap dance. I guess worse to find out she wanted to get out of it would be to find out there's all of a sudden she's practicing really hard. That would be more.

out of it would be to find out there's all of a sudden she's practicing really hard that would be more uh we have to talk about your latest uh form of fame which is you you've become a viral internet star on tiktok i've seen some of the early ones that you did with your wife katherine and it seems as if you have no idea what your son has gotten you involved in. Well, that's fairly true on any given day at any given moment. It is all because of our son, Gideon, who has this enjoyment of taking out his cell phone and asking us questions for, I would assume, family archives, is what he often says. And so that's what we would do. And then we had a fight on our, what anniversary was it, honey? The 42nd anniversary of our first

date. 42nd anniversary of our first date. Stopped at a forsythia tree and he asked us what's going on. And she said, well, we just had a fight. It was our anniversary. We had a fight. And then Catherine talked about it. And the next thing he said, can we put this out on your social media? Which we began with the International Rescue Committee to highlight the flight of refugees and help them have a new beginning. That was the whole purpose of our social media. And Gideon hijacked that. And so that's how it began.

It seems as if Catherine is there with you. Why don't you bring her on then? Yes, it is. I recommend for everyone, you should tell your guests, never do an interview without your family members around. We're joined now by Catherine. Hello. How are you?

Hello. Hello, everyone. So you guys are now influencers. You're TikTok influencers. I mean, honestly, to this moment, no insult to the young people that love TikTok. I, honest to God, do not understand it. It makes Twitter look like Shakespeare.

I don't even know how to find TikTok. I don't even know how to find Instagram. I'm completely, you know. Happy. Yes. That's the word you were searching for. You did have, you had your anniversary of your first date 42 years ago? Yeah, yeah.

It's extraordinary. We heard a story, I don't know if it's true, that something to the effect that Mandy, you said to Catherine on your first date, I'm going to marry you. Yeah. Yes, and then I believe she said to me with her finger up like this pointing at me,

you don't know what you're talking about. And I went click. I took a picture of it and she said, you're an actor and a baby and you're going to get hurt. And I said, that's okay. Now she's pulling her hair out of her head because no matter what story i tell about this it's the wrong version we don't have time on this program for that catherine your rebuttal michael weller michael weller who wrote the play came up to me he said what do you think about

mandy and i said oh he's great wait a minute you mean for me personally i said oh, he's great. Wait a minute. You mean for me personally? I said, forget it. He's an actor. He's a baby. He's a little bit crazy. No, the next person I'm with is going to be the father of my children. And he's not. He was 25 years old. I was 31.

We wanted to use this occasion to tell you that Mo Rocca is actually the father. What's amazing about you, Catherine, and I want to say I genuinely admire this, even though when you're telling a story about how you were completely mistaken about something, you're still the smarter person. About memory, yeah. No, no, she is the smarter person. She's the smartest one in the family. Oh, God, that is so true.

It is so true. It is true. It is true. Catherine, you deserve at least 50% credit. You said, the next person I'm with will be the father of my children, and he won't be you. And you were half right. I think that counts for something. Well, Mandy Patinkin, it's great to talk to you and Catherine.

You too, but we have asked you here to play a game we're calling... TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. So you are TikTok stars now. So we thought we'd ask you three questions about the original TikTok stars, which are clocks. Get two questions about clocks right, you'll win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose for their voicemail. Chioki, who is Mandy Padinkin, and may I say Catherine Godey, playing for? Danny Rosen of West Hartford, Connecticut.

Here we go. Here's your first question. Before the invention of inexpensive clocks, people in Britain had to manage their time in different ways, including which of these? A, killing a mouse every morning and then telling time during the day by how badly it was smelling. B, hiring people to walk the streets of the city in the morning and wake them up by shooting at their windows with pea shooters. or C, getting out of meetings by saying, oh, I'm sorry, I have a witch burning to get to? Pea shooting. Pea shooting?

What was the pea? Shooting at the windows. Okay, yeah, that sounds great. That's the answer. Congratulations. That's the right one. These human alarm clocks were called knocker uppers. That was the name of the job.

They used pea shooters, at least in one instance. Sometimes they used canes or clubs to bang on the windows to get people up in time to get to work. Wow. Next question. Clocks are not beloved everywhere. In fact, schools in the UK announced they were removing clocks from classrooms. Why? A, students were stealing the clock hands and stabbing each other with them.

B, to prevent students from yelling, 10, 9, 8, etc. as the period came to a close. Or C, because students are simply no longer able to tell time. Oh, wow. C. There you go. You're right. That's exactly it. Students can no longer read analog clocks,

so they're just removing them from classrooms. Oh, my God. I know. All right, here's your last question question people pretend to hate daylight savings time but most don't know the origin of daylight savings time was it a ben franklin invented it as a joke b mussolini came up with it because he couldn't figure out how else to get the trains to run on time or c napoleon invented it so his army would always surprise the other side by getting there one hour early. I'm pretty sure it's Ben Franklin.

You're right! It is Ben Franklin! I knew it, I knew it. He sent a letter to the editor when he was in Paris as ambassador, saying that, hey, if we all get up when the sun rises and go to bed when it sets, we'll all save money on candles. Jokey, how did Mandy Patinkin and his wife, Catherine Grody, do on our quiz? After more than 40 years in show business and more than 40 years of marriage, I think it's safe to say this is the high point.

It would be both safe and tragic to say that. I hope that's not true. Mandy Patinkin and Catherine Grody are celebrated actors, singers, writers, and surprise TikTok stars. You can find them both on TikTok at Mandy Patinkin. Thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Enjoy yourselves, guys. Stay safe.

Be well. Bye-bye. Bye. In just a minute, we'll all try and remember our passwords for the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. How do we reinvent ourselves? And what's the secret to living longer?

I'm Manoush Zomorodi. Each week on NPR's TED Radio Hour, we go on a journey with TED speakers to seek a deeper understanding of the world and to figure out new ways to think and create. Listen now. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Helen Hong, and Josh Gondelman. And here again is your host,

a man whose Vogue cover was also very controversial, Peter Sagal. Thank you so much, Giochi. In just a minute, Giochi's favorite fiber cereal is Rhymes and Bran. It's our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Josh, if you go to Chicago's O'Hare Airport, you'll discover shops, fine dining, public art, and this week, authorities there also discovered what? Oh, gosh. Can I ask for a hint on this?

Yeah, he gave his address as One Duty Free Lane. He gave his address at One Duty Free Lane. So, there was someone living there? Yes, There had been someone living in the O'Hare International Terminal for three months. The man flew into O'Hare

on October 19th and he managed to stay and live in the airport until last week, completely undetected. He told authorities that because of COVID, he was afraid to fly home

and he figured the airport was safe. Also, he had watched all the good movies on the flight in and wanted to wait till they swapped in some new releases before the next flight. You know how that is. That is the standard delay on a Spirit Airlines return flight. Three months. Yes, exactly. When asked how he avoided detection for so long, the man explained that he just stood behind that desk where they try to get you to sign up for an airline credit card. And so everybody just walked right past without making any eye contact. I would be worried living in an airport just going through your life savings on drinking water within the first two days.

Helen, scientists were abuzz this week about a butt, specifically the first ever perfectly preserved rear end of what? Oh, goodness. Can I please have a hint? You can have a hint. Well, we've all been terrified because we know what a Tyrannosaurus rex would look like coming straight at us. Now we know more about what it would look like running directly away from us. A dinosaur butt. Yes, pretty much a dinosaur butt. Scientists have announced the best example ever found of a dinosaur cloaca, what we lay people call the hiney. Scientists spend so much time asking if they could.

They never spent enough time asking, what does its butt look like? I thought we knew what a Tyrannosaurus rex's butt looked like. Well, what we didn't know is the specific shape of the organ, which is called the cloaca. This is sort of an all-purpose orifice. I'd never seen one, obviously, before this kind of reconstruction last week, but is called the cloaca. This is sort of an all-purpose orifice. I'd never seen one, obviously, before this kind of reconstruction last week, but I had heard about them from the song Rump Shaker by T-Rex, in effect.

And Baby Got Pterodactyl by T-Rex a lot. So it was well chronicled in kind of the oral tradition. Coming up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888- 924-8924. Click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. And if you want more

Wait Wait in your week, head to at Wait Wait on Twitter and at Wait Wait NPR on Instagram, or just write us a letter. Hi, you're on Wait Wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Michaela Bitts from Fargo, North Dakota. Fargo. Now, I often say, oh, I've been there. I have never been to anywhere in North Dakota, one of the only states I've never been to. So tell me why Fargo is wonderful and I should visit as soon as possible. I wish I could tell you, but I don't know what to say. You know, it hasn't been below 50 degrees yet this winter, so that's a plus. Well, there you go. That's Everybody Knows Fargo, known for their balmy weather. Well, welcome to the show. Chioki

Ianson is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to play? Yes. All right. Here is your first limerick. Bitcoin's up really high, so I last heard. What's my wedding date? Oh, I'll go ask her. wedding date. Oh, I'll go ask her. Shoot, don't tell me I switched. I could be oh so rich if I had only remembered my... Can you read it again? He can. Bitcoin's up really high, so I last heard. What's my wedding date? Oh, I'll go ask her. Shoot, don't tell me I switched. I could be oh so rich if I'd only remembered my...

Password? That's right. According to the New York Times, a group of would-be multi-billionaire Bitcoin investors are unable to claim their money because they forgot their account passwords. I actually feel bad for... No, no, it's passed. feel bad for no no it's passed there's one guy this is true who has 220 million dollars worth of bitcoin but he has stored them digitally in a special hard drive and he has forgotten the password to the hard drive and this thing gives you 12 chances to guess the password before it erases the contents permanently. And he has used up 10 of those 12 guesses. I've been doing comedy a long time and I think I'm pretty good at it, but I'm nowhere near as funny as the guy who invented the hard drive that erases $220 million if you guess your password wrong. That's the funniest guy who's ever lived or woman.

I know. Well, of course, it didn't mean it to happen that way. He decided because the thing about Bitcoin is anybody who has the password to the wallet has it. It's in that sense, it's almost like a gold bar or something. If you own it, you have it. So the only way that you can keep it secure is to absolutely hide your password. And some people, they have forgotten them, and there is no way to recover them. Did he try his dog's birthday? Well, the real problem is he needs to call up his mother and ask what her maiden name is.

Her maiden name is exactly. Exactly, but he's known her for too long, and he's forgotten. It's too awkward. Yeah, weird to ask now. Yeah, I know. All right, here is your next limerick. When I'm stuck in my car, I'm seraphic.

I feel free to let language get graphic. So I'm looking on ways for some deep red delays because I miss being stuck in bad... Traffic? Yes, traffic. Honey, I'm still home cooped up americans are going outside or driving around every morning to relive their commutes and spice up our work from home lives people miss commuting they're going out and doing it even though it's pointless some nostalgic new yorkers are even opting to just you know sit in urine once a week according to the wall Journal, people are using all kinds of methods to recapture

their old commute. Some are packing their lunches to make sure their food has that just-crushed-on-the-bus taste. This is true. One man even takes drives in the middle of rush hour in order to seek out traffic jams. One person in the article said, I really miss traffic because it was a great time to catch up on podcasts. Now he asked to hire two people just to laugh at their own jokes for an hour every day.

Mikayla, is there traffic in North Dakota? I think I experienced it once. Oh, wow. What was it like? Was it like now you want more? Kind of, yeah. It was kind of a rush. Mikayla, you described traffic the way

everyone I know who's seen a ghost describes seeing a ghost. I think once. But I love that she called it a rush. Yeah. The opposite of rush. Michaela, what do you think the traffic wanted? All right.

Here is your last limerick. The volcanoes erupt some step back far. They might run fast or rival a track star. But here in Pompeii, some just opted to stay and consumed one last meal at the... Um, I have no idea. That's okay. You've already won. I'll just give it to you. It's Snack Bar. Oh!

it to you. It's snack bar. Archaeologists have discovered a perfectly preserved Roman thermopolium or fast food stand frozen in time in the ash covered city of Pompeii. It was surrounded when they uncovered it by this huge line of bodies because in the day of the eruption, the stand had just introduced its new spicy chicken sandwich. It's so weird to this thing. It's really, it's ancient, of course, but it's also really familiar. It looks like a snack bar. You can imagine ancient Romans lining up the counter saying, yeah, I'll have a number IX and the lark's tongue blizzard, please. There was even a perfectly preserved customer right in the middle of asking an employee for the code to the hole in the ground out back. I'm guessing the most popular item was a Mars bar. Oh, very good.

It wasn't funny, but it was smart. Yeah. Chioki, how did Michaela do on our quiz? She got two out of three, so she is a winner. Congratulations. Thank you so much, Michaela, for playing, and good luck to you. Yeah, definitely. Bye- you. Yeah, definitely.

Bye-bye. Thanks, bye. I bet she's as excited as that time she was in traffic. It's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each answer is now worth two points. Choki, can you give us the scores? Helen has two points. Mo and Josh are tied with three. Okay. That means, Helen, you're going to go first.

The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill-in-the-blank. In one of his first actions as president, Joe Biden returned the U.S. to the blank agreement. Paris Accord. Exactly. On Monday, the outgoing administration announced that lawyer blank would not be part of Trump's impeachment team. Giuliani? Right. This week, total U.S. deaths from blank rose above 400,000.

COVID-19. Yes. On Monday, departing Secretary of State Mike Pompeo declared blanks treatment of Uyghur Muslims genocide. China. Right, this week a group of teens offering free squirts of hand sanitizer outside a supermarket in the UK fled the scene after it was revealed that the sanitizer was blank.

Ooh, not hand sanitizer. Well, technically, yes, but you have to know it. It's super glue is what they were doing, those scamps. On Monday, the son of Martin Luther King Jr. announced his support for Blank's run for mayor of New York. Andrew Yang? Yes, very good. On Wednesday, Pharma Bro Blank lost his second bid for early release. That horrible guy with the pasty face.

I can't remember his name. His name is Martin Shkreli. After spending a few days in lockup, a woman in Canada blanked after being released. Locked herself back up? No, she wrote the prison a glowing 4.5 star review. The woman spent several days in jail, and when she was allowed to go free, she really wanted to give the cops a piece of her mind. She just loved it, so in a glowing, handwritten note, she said she was, quote, worried about staying with you guys during my trip, but I appreciate how kind everybody was. 4.5 stars.

She would have pushed it up to 5, but the only available toilet wine was a Chardonnay. She prefers something drier. Is there a prison section of Yelp? There is. That's real. Is there really? I did not know.

It's kind of the only way that people have their voices heard about what it's like in prison. It's a bleak place. I wouldn't go there for, yeah. You should. That's like it's kind of the only way that people have their voices heard about like what it's like in prison. It's a bleak place. I wouldn't go there for fun. I love that you've been there, Josh. I've done some things. I don't want to talk about them.

I'm not proud. Chucky, how did Helen do in our quiz? Helen got five right for 10 more points. She now has 12 and a lead. All right. I'm going to arbitrarily choose Josh to go next. So fill in the blank, Josh.

On Tuesday, Trump granted clemency to 143 people, including former White House strategist Blank. Steve Bannon. Right. On Monday, a judge ordered that Alexei Navalny,

the critic of Blank, allegedly poisoned by the KGB, be detained for 30 days. Vladimir Putin. Right. This week, Chuck Schumer officially took over as Senate Majority Leader from 30 days? Vladimir Putin. Right. This week, Chuck Schumer officially took over as Senate Majority Leader from blank. Mitch McConnell. Right. On Thursday, it was reported that President Biden would keep Christopher Wray as head of the blank.

FBI. Right. This week, a professional video gamer announced his retirement after suffering from a debilitating blank. Carpal tunnel syndrome. Close enough. An injury to his thumb. On Thursday, health officials said it was safe to use Moderna's blank despite allergic reactions. Vaccine? Right. Thanks to strong earnings from Apple and Netflix, the blank reached record highs on Wednesday. Dow Jones? Stock market?

This week, a man in Oregon reprimanded a woman after he realized she had left her child in her car while he was blanking. While he was pumping gas? No, while he was stealing the car. I mean, parents these days, they buy their kids iPads, they coddle them, they leave them in the cars that I want to steal. A man's otherwise wholesome grand theft auto spree took a dark turn when he realized it was a four-year-old in the car he just stole. And so he turned around, drove back, dropped the kid off, berated the mom for being so

careless. How could you leave your kid in your car unaccompanied? And then he took the car again and drove away. He eventually slowed down to admonish the cops chasing him for speeding. Chioki, how did Josh do in our quiz? Josh has seven right for 14 more points. He now has 17 points and the lead. Whoa, that was actually pretty impressive, Josh.

You're a beast. Thank you. So, Chioki, how many then does Mo need to win? Mo needs seven points to tie and eight points to win. All right. Here we go, Mo. This is for the game. On Wednesday, Director of National Intelligence Avril Haines became the first member of Blank's cabinet to be confirmed. Biden's? Yes. During his first press conference under President Biden, Blank said he felt liberated. Fauci.

Yes. This week, the leader of the Proud Boys was charged with encouraging people to join the mob that stormed Blank. The Capitol. Yes. Despite the pandemic, officials in Blank announced that country's economy grew by 2.3%. China. Right. This week, a legislator in Oklahoma filed a bill to establish an official blank hunting season.

Chicks and ducks and geese? Better scurry. No, it's Bigfoot hunting season, which is weird because clearly Bigfoot does not live in Oklahoma. On Sunday, warehouse workers at online giant blankank announced a planned vote to unionize. Amazon. Right. On Thursday, Blank claims dropped slightly but remained above 900,000.

Unemployment. Yes. This week, over 750,000 pounds of Blank were recalled after it was discovered they could cause serious injury. Oh, barbells. No, hot pockets. Nestle has ordered a mass recall of hot pockets after reports that the product may contain

small pieces of glass or hard plastic. What? You can tell if your hot pockets are affected by looking for lot number 6693 or seeing if you've purchased the limited edition nacho glass blasted flavor. Jokey. Did Mo do well enough to win?

Mo had 6 right for 12 more points. He has a total of 15, which means that with 17 points, Josh is this week's champion. Whoa. That is extremely impressive. Thank you. And honestly, an honor just to play with such fine competitors. That's very gracious, Josh.

Very gracious. Oh my, you're really making me moisten right now. No! No, my eyes, my eyes. You got moist eyes, yeah.

My eyes. Coming up, our panelists predict what'll be Joe Biden's big surprise executive order. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ, Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions.

Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our house manager is Gianna Capodona. Our intern is Catherine Grody's biggest fan, Emma Choi. Our web guru is Beth Novy. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King.

Our beard trimmer is Peter Gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our business andmer is Peter Gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Shillock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike's beautiful singing voice, Dan Forth. Now panel, what'll be the big surprise executive order from Joe Biden? Josh Gondelman. A compromise with Republicans deregulating the use of malarkey in national parks and wildlife refuges. Helen Hahn. Trying to prevent upstaging, he's going to ban mittens at all future White House events.

And Moe Rockton. An appointed rebuke to the former president, Biden will ban the playing of Laura Branigan's Gloria at White House events and replace it with Laura Branigan's Self Control, which as everyone knows is a better song. And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you

Chioka Janssen for joining us this week. Thanks also to Helen Hong, Mo Rocca and Josh Gondelman. Thanks to all of you for listening. Things are going to be smooth sailing from here on out. You can pat yourself on the back. Really, I said so. I'm Peter Sagal Thanks to all of you for listening. Things are going to be smooth sailing from here on out. You can pat yourself on the back. Really, I said so. I'm Peter Sagal.

We'll see you next week. This is NPR.