Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Marin Alsop

Episode Date: July 27, 2019

Marin Alsop, conductor of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, joins us along with panelists Adam Felber, Faith Salie, and Petey DeAbreu.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. It's all right, Zach Morris, you're saved by the bill. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. We've got a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to the first orchestra conductor we've ever had on our show, the legendary Maren Alsop. I'm going to ask her how she can get a bunch of emotionally fragile egomaniacs to do what they're told just by waving her arms, because, frankly, that's never worked for me.

But first, we want to hear your solo, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Travis Serlin from Chicago. Hey, Travis, Chicago. Chicago. Chicago.

Yeah. Are you far from us right now? Where are you? I'm at the Summer House. Oh, okay. I don't know what that is. It's a great restaurant. Oh, your restaurant.

I'm a hostess. Oh, yeah, you're not far. You should come on down. We'll wait. We don't have time. Welcome to the show, Travis. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a comedian performing with Phoebe Robinson

September 5th through the 7th at the Arlington Drafthouse in Arlington, Virginia. I'm going to hope that was a dog of some kind. Not an appetizer coming back. All right, we'll try that again. You know, dude, hold on. Travis, what is going on? I stepped outside so it would be quieter,

but then these cars are driving by with these mufflers. Oh, my God. Here we go. We'll try it one more time. First up, it's a comedian performing with Phoebe Robinson September 5th through the 7th at the Arlington Drafthouse in Arlington, Virginia. It's Peter DeBrayer. Next, a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning. It's Faith Saley.

Hey, Travis. And the co-host of the podcast, Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone, is Adam Felber. Hey, Travis. And the co-host of the podcast, Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone, is Adam Felber. Hey, Travis. So, Travis, as I'm sure you anticipated, you're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from the week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you choose in your voicemail. You ready to go?

I'm ready. All right. Here is your first quote. That is outside my purview. That was the answer that somebody gave, oh, about 100 times on Wednesday to almost every question he was asked. Who was it? That was Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Yes, indeed. Robert Mueller. Very good. So you know that moment at the beginning of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when Gene Wilder comes out and he's this creaky old man and everybody is disappointed and sad, and then he does a somersault and everybody cheers? Well, imagine that, but instead of the somersault,

he just kind of dodders around for eight hours. That was Wednesday. Former special counsel Robert Mueller appeared before two house committees with the energy and enthusiasm of a man facing his annual prostate exam, which might explain why he answered certain pointed questions by just turning his head

and coughing. I don't know. Everybody said it was boring, but I was kind of breathless because I was, you just know something was going to happen. You didn't want to miss the one moment it did. And yet nothing did. It was so disappointing to so many Democrats and liberals because liberals had been building him up for two years as this Clint Eastwood figure, this old tough lawman, no nonsense, going to come in and kick ass and take names. And in the end, he

was just like Clint Eastwood, who right now is 89 years old. He said he didn't want to testify. I know. He said he wasn't good at testifying. He said read the report because there's enough evidence there to impeach nine successive

presidents. In the movie, Clint Eastwood says, I don't want to do that. I'm not going to go in there. But then he goes in there and he beats up the bad guys. And there was none of that. And there would have been a little squint. And instead of Clint Eastwood, we got Sam the Eagle from the Muppets. Or maybe, you know,

he also reminds me of those, what are those, the Easter Island heads? What are they called? The big Easter Island heads. Yeah, he looks like one Heads. The big Easter Island Heads. Yeah, he looks like one of those. The MOA. Thank you, the MOA.

The MOA. Yeah. Oh, and I read the MOA report. It was a perfectly nice visit with an aging relative. That's exactly what it was. All right, Travis, here's your next quote. I will disprove the doubters, the doomsters,

and the gloomsters. That was somebody taking office as the new British Prime Minister. Who is enemy of all gloomsters? Oh, that's Boris Johnson? Yes! Boris Johnson! Or Bojo, as we hope everybody starts calling it. Imagine what it would be like to have your formerly powerful and serious country

taken over by an incompetent womanizer with terrible hair. Hard to do, isn't it? Well, it happened in Britain this week when Boris Johnson became prime minister. Look how far the empire has fallen. They are so broken. The good news is they're ripe to be colonized. Time for payback, India.

What has happened where people who were clowns are now in charge of everything? Yes, and I wish they were actual clowns are now in charge of everything? Yes, and I wish they were actual clowns, because those people at least have timing. Well, Australia... So Boris Johnson, if you don't know, is most famous, at least here in the US, for being the mayor of London during the 2012 Olympics, during which he tried to do a zipline stunt to promote it, and famously got stuck dangling from a rope.

Remember this? 50 feet above the ground. Maybe that's why he was finally elected to handle Brexit. He knows what it's like to be just stuck there, not being able to get out, looking like an idiot. He's an interesting bloke, but he struck me,

and maybe this is just because I'm reading the Harry Potter series for the first time with my children. He's super Slytherin. But he tries to throw you off with this Hufflepuff hair. I'm just going to say this, and you may not get this yet. They will. He's not so much Slytherin as he's Peter Pettigrew. Wow! Am Irew. Wow!

Am I right? Wow! I do get that, Peter. You just brought our whole theater down the nerd hole. Except he somehow got stopped while transforming back from a rat. He's caught halfway. All right. Your last quote is from the governor of Puerto Rico.

I have not resigned. That was an official statement made just one day before he did what? He resigned. He did, Travis, yes. Governor Ricardo Rosselló of Puerto Rico had survived this massive financial crisis and this terrible hurricane, but the one thing he could not survive was his own texts. In the leaked messages, the governor mocked his enemies and disaster victims. He made fun of fat people and the disabled, which is all bad.

But then he went after Puerto Rican icon Ricky Martin. And that will not stand. Did he really? He really did. And in the end, as you probably saw, tens of thousands of people took to the streets of San Juan

to demand his ouster led by Ricky Martin. Yeah. What? Yeah, yeah. This is a musical in the making. It really is. If only there were somebody

who could write musicals from Puerto Rico. Yeah, I know. Oh. As he tried to defend himself, Rosselló said he was just blowing off steam and the texts that were leaked shouldn't be taken seriously, which is what all of us would say if the terrible, terrible things we email our friends ever got out. Oh, my Lord.

Even the protesters who massed in the streets were, like, marching while still erasing all their emails from there. How would you guys fare if all the private messages you had sent Even the protesters who massed in the streets were like marching while still erasing all their emails from them. How would you guys fare if all the private messages you had sent to your friends got out into public? I would never be allowed to be governor of Puerto Rico again. That's true. I'd be even more unemployable. I didn't think that was possible. But it's amazing because the only good part is this scandal has shown that Puerto Rico is so

full of corruption, racism, and misogyny that maybe now President Trump will recognize it as part of the United States. Bill, how did Travis do in our quiz? He'll be welcome in Puerto Rico. He got them all three. He's a winner. Congratulations, Travis. Thank you, Peter.

Thank you. Bye-bye. We want to remind everybody they can join us most weeks right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Illinois for tickets and more information. Just stroll your web surfer over to WBEZ.org or you can find a link at our website, waitwait.npr.org.

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Petey, the owners of a giant replica of Noah's Ark in Kentucky have filed a lawsuit against them for failing to cover damage caused to the Ark. By what? Water.

Exactly right. Even worse. Exactly right. Even worse. Nice and gentle. Even worse, it was rain. The 510-foot-long replica Ark is part of Kentucky's Nowhere's Ark Encounter theme park, the perfect vacation getaway

for families who find Knott's Berry Farm to be a little too racy. The owners say they were inspired to build the replica when God's voice told them to gather up two of every animal and charge them $75 each for admission. The park opened in 2016, but was forced to close for a few days right then when the ark and its surrounding area was damaged by, and I quote, slightly above average rain.

Yikes. Apparently they skipped the part of the book of Genesis where God tells Noah to spring for the undercoating. Do you happen to know, Peter, what other experiences they offer at this park? The Noah's Ark Adventure? I can't say that I've been, Faith. I can't say that I've been. I do believe this is a creationist place, although not like the primary creationist museum,

which is elsewhere. So it doesn't have two figures of a unicorn on a nearby hillside. Going, wait a minute, guys, guys, you left us behind. It should have made it a water park. That's true. Absolutely.

Coming up, we don the yellow jersey in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. It has already been an eventful summer in politics. Yeah, between the 2020 debates and the president's battle over immigration, there's a lot going on. And when there's news you need to know about, the NPR Politics Podcast is there to tell you what happened. Not to mention we're hitting the road so you can meet all of the 2020 contenders.

Oh, NPR is going to drive me completely crazy. The NPR Politics Podcast. Subscribe! Subscribe! From NPR at WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Petey Diabru, Faith Saley, and Adam Felber. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sago.

Thank you so much, Bill. Auditorium in downtown Chicago. Peter Segal. Thank you so much, Bill. So listen, right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air.

Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, this is John Dealy from New Brunswick, New Jersey. New Brunswick, New Jersey? I'm from New Jersey. What do you do there? I'm a chemical engineer working at L'Oreal.

L'Oreal? The skincare products company? That would be it. I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to tell me the truth. Of course. I see ads, especially for skincare products, and usually in magazines, and they're amazingly elaborate about how this amazing product is anti-aging and is going to make you look like this supermodel or maybe that supermodel and is going to solve all your problems and so on and so forth. Are any of those claims true?

I mean, only if you buy L'Oreal products, especially CeraVe. Absolutely. All right. Fair enough. Well played. Glad to know we heard it from a scientist. Well, welcome to our show, John. You're going to play the game

in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is John's topic? I'm just here for the chafing. There's so much casual fans don't know about the Tour de France. For example, did you know Tour de France is French for Tour of France? But not all of the stars of that bike race

are on the bikes. Our panelists are going to tell you about an unsung hero, somebody who works in the background of that great race. Pick the real one, and you'll win our prize, the weight-weighter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play? Yes, sir. All right, first let's hear from Faith Saley. Old black and white photos of Tour de France riders

show them smoking cigarettes on their bikes, their lean, gallic cheeks inhaling the smoke they believed opened the lungs. It was only 2002 when the tour officially outlawed cigarettes within 100 meters of the route. But do you think this has stopped tout le monde from smoking? Oh, no, no, my friends, this is France. Enter Didier Lupin. His job, his métier, is official cigarette extinguisher of the Tour de France. He's a stone-cold man in a beret who stalks the crowd looking for smokers. When he sees a lit cigarette,

he casually places his thumb and index finger in his mouth, covers them with spit, and douses the burning stick with a sizzle as he swans by, earning him the nickname Monsieur Les Droits Magiques, Mr. Magic Fingers. And you can't miss him. To travel with the tour, he rides his 1964 Peugeot motor scooter, a contraption that's so terrifically loud, it warns smokers he's coming

and therefore leaves a wake of hastily cast-off cigarettes. Didier celebrates his work every night with a nice pernod and a single galoise. Problem, he says, nothing wrong with a little smoke as long as it's away from the course. The official cigarette extinguisher of the Tour de France riding along in his moto. Your next story of a tour helper

comes from Adam Felber. The cycling world was stunned last week by the revelation that the venerable Tour de France is rigged. No, the winner isn't predetermined, but now we've learned that the loser is. In fact, for the past ten years, tour officials have paid an actor to come in last as a means of encouraging slower racers who may be thinking of giving up. Now, if this sounds like evidence of an overweening, everyone-gets-a-trophy, nanny-state culture run amok, let me assure you, that's exactly what this is. It's a good job, says New Zealand actor Leon Grice, who was just exposed as this year's paid

loser. Quote, you don't have to train as hard, you can have a pint or two each night, and you make friends with a lot of wonderful, funny people whose only sin is being hopeless wankers when it comes to cycling. But now that the jig is up, Grice knows that the gig is over and we can all rest assured that next year's last place finisher will be a real

loser. For his part, Grice expects he'll return to acting and maybe someday to cycling. Quote, now that I've come in 168th place, it'd be fun to see if I can improve on that. Or I'd be just doing what I did this year, but for free and with more training and no drinking. In fact, never mind. Leon Grice, the designated loser of the Tour de France, who always comes in last. Your last story of the wind beneath the Tour de France's

wings comes from Petey Debreu. One of the great traditions of the Tour de France is fans writing encouraging messages for cyclists on the road. Stuff like, Go Lance! Hooray Miguel! You don't even need those training wheels, Franz. But many fans write bad words

or draw profane pictures, which the tour doesn't want showing up on the TV broadcast. It's hard enough to keep people watching ever since they cracked down on drugs and all the cyclists walking their bikes up the hills. So the tour has hired two men whose sole job is to drive the course every day and paint over those dirty messages. They are called officially erasers. Says one, quote, people draw genitals. I have no idea why.

Because it's fun. Mostly the erasers just paint over the images, but they also let their artistic side show. According to the Wall Street Journal, one of the erasers turns larger renderings of the male anatomy into butterflies or owls. By the way, now you know the backstory of everyone you meet who has a butterfly tattoo. All right. So the Tour de France happening now in France is helped along by one of these three people.

Is it from Faith, the official cigarette extinguisher, a guy who rides along the course and takes the cigarettes out of the mouths of the people who might dare to smoke them near the riders? From Adam Felber, Leon Grice, the man whose job it is to ride and come in last so nobody else has to? Or from Petey, the stories of the guy who go along the course

and erase the obscene messages that people might have left for the riders so they don't appear on TV. Which of these is the real story of the Tour de France's little helper? I really wish it was all of them, but I'm going to go with number three. You can go with number three. That's Petey's story of the graffiti eraser. The audience likes it. All right, then.

To bring you the real answer, here's somebody who knows a lot about the Tour de France. The most inappropriate graffiti you see out on the roads of the Tour de France is really a thing out in Australia, which seems to be a favorite. That was Joshua Robinson. He is the European sports reporter for the Wall Street Journal who wrote about the official Tour de France erasers and what they have to do. Congratulations.

You got it right. Petey was telling the truth. You earned a point for him for being honest, and you have won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Take care. Bye-bye.

Thank you. And now the game where we ask pioneers to go discover something completely uninteresting. It's called Not My Job. Marin Alsop discovered her passion for music at an early age, but Juilliard wouldn't admit her to their conducting program, so she just started her own damn orchestra next door presumably to drown them out.

She's now the music director of the Baltimore Symphony and the Sao Paulo State Symphony. We are delighted to have her with us. Marin Alsop, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Thank you. So, I always ask sort of musical geniuses like yourself, were you like a musical prodigy?

Did you have to be forced to practice the piano, or did you love it? No, I was born with a job. My parents were professional musicians. My dad was a violinist, and my mom a cellist, and so they needed a pianist, and so they said, oh, let's make one. So I was born with a job, And so they needed a pianist. And so they said, oh, let's make one. So I was born with a job.

And really, I hated the piano. I hated it. I retired when I was six from the piano. Now, was that because you didn't like the piano or because you just resented your parents? Like, this is why you were here. Well, how much time do we have now? No, they tricked me into playing violin. And then I, you know, for every

kid, there is the right instrument. How do you trick a child to playing the violin? I've left some candy inside this odd wooden object. It was very close, because they said, you want to go to summer camp? You know, and so I already had an archetypal image of

summer camp, you know, with sailing and swimming and horseback riding. Somehow horses got in there. And they said, oh, before we go, we forgot to tell you, you might have to play the violin. And this camp is called Meadow Mountain. It's fondly called the concentration camp for violinists. So that's where this came from. And when you got there, they just put you in your little cell and handed you a violin?

Yeah, the teacher said, so you're going to practice from 8 until 1 every day, 5 hours. Luckily, I was 7. I had no real sense of time. Right. Wow. Well, 7 years old, and they made you practice your violin 5 hours a day, and this was supposedly for pleasure. This was camp.

Right. I mean, there's so many things to say. But she was on top of a horse while she was practicing. What were the other activities, like weeping? No, no. Yeah, I mean, there's so many things to say. But she was on top of a horse while she was practicing. What were the other activities, like weeping? No, no, yeah, weeping. The only sport we were allowed to do was ping pong.

And so, I am awesome at ping pong. And is it true, we read that you decided at some point you wanted to be a conductor? Well, what happened was that after practicing for five hours for eight weeks, I was pretty good, so I got into Juilliard right after that.

But I played in the orchestra, which I loved, and they got some complaints that somebody was trying to lead the whole orchestra from the back of the second violins. Wait a minute, so they actually brought you in? Did they complain about you? They brought my... How do you try to conduct the orchestra from the second violin?

I think the problem was I was having a really good time. I liked the timpani guy was really cute back there, and I was just having fun. And, you know, I was just moving, and everybody else was, you know, already like Stonehenge, and I was busy. And then, luckily, my dad took me to a concert, and I saw the conductor.

He came out, and he started talking to me, talking to the audience, talking to me, I thought. And, you know, he was really excited, and then he started jumping around and conducting, and I thought, oh, nobody's yelling at this guy. I could do that. In fact, he's doing the yelling. Exactly. And he was sweating and spitting, and that was Leonard Bernstein. Oh!

Wow. Why? So you saw Leonard Bernstein, and I should say somewhat famously, you became, I guess, a student isn't a good enough word, one of his protégés. I did, luckily. That was the highlight of my life. How does one become a protégé of a conductor? Like, I'm thinking of Karate Kid. You know, like, is there a lot of work with the swish of the arm? There's a lot of that, yes.

I mean... Yes, said Maestro Bernstein to a student. It's all of the swish of the arm. I guess what's really under the question is that every kid who goes to see a concert thinks he or she can be a conductor, right? The actual movement that you make,

forgive me, looks simple. So what is it that goes into conducting? Oh my God, these questions. You said they were going to be easy, Peter. I said my questions were going to be easy. I said nothing about were going to be easy. I said nothing about faith.

But listen, you know, it's true. It is a lot of it. I think about who we are as human beings that creates a different sound and elicits a different response. It's all about body language and connecting. Not only that, and I say this because I'm privileged enough to see you work. Something I noticed, most people can't see this because I'm privileged enough to see you work, something I noticed,

most people can't see this because the conductor has their back to the audience, but because music is playing, you cannot shout instructions. You must indicate what you'd like a musician to do through facial expressions.

You have to have a wide range of dirty looks. Really? Or encouraging looks or question marks. Or maybe it just looks like you're not really going to play it that way, are you? Sort of more like that.

Or also, you know, you have to anticipate. Sometimes people are about to play at the wrong moment, you know, and you have to kind of anticipate, like, preventive conducting, I call it. You know, like, don't do that. Well, Marin Alsop, it is a pleasure to talk to you, but we have, in fact, asked you here to play a game we're calling... You're a good conductor, but are you a super conductor? You're pretty good. We have heard, I have seen, at musical conducting,

but what do you know about the other kind of conducting? Conducting electricity. We're going to ask you three questions about that other kind of conducting. If you get two right, you win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might like on their voicemail. Bill, who is Marin Alsop playing for? Lucinda Watson of Chattanooga, Tennessee, who was this month's winner of our Smart Speaker Quiz.

You could be a winner, too. Just ask your smart speaker to open the Wait, Wait Quiz. All right, you ready to do this? Here we go, Maestro. Lightning rods were all the rage after they were invented in the late 18th century, so much so that they turned up where? A, attached to racehorses,

hoping they'd give them an extra kick. B, on cannonballs, in the hope that it would attract lightning onto someone's enemies. Or C, on top of ladies' hats, because they looked cool. Oh, let's see we got the horseback you have the cannonball so it fly over there lightning would hit the cannonball blow up your enemy or ladies hats because they looked stylish

yeah but that would hurt wouldn't it the ladies that that could be that could be really dangerous well ladies have already made sacrifices for fashion we're going with the hat yeah okay we're going with the hat you're all right it's amazing how you got them all to work together like that all right next question electric fences are excellent conductors, of course, but they're not just for farms. Someone once seriously suggested using an electrified fence for which of these uses?

A, surrounding mixed martial arts fighters at the first UFC bout. B, keeping the political press from harassing senators. Or C, managing the line, which gets quite extraordinary, at Franklin's Barbecue in Austin, Texas. Okay, I'm going to go with the barbecue because the electric and the barbecue,

it sounds kind of... No, it wasn't the barbecue. It was the mixed martial arts, but I just want to say that I'm glad that you mentioned the barbecue because the only reason I put it in here was that they would hear it and send us some barbecue.

So I appreciate the help. All right. You get this last one right, you win. Your last question is about superconductors. These are the remarkable materials that conduct electricity with almost no resistance. Very useful in industry and science. In 2010, a group of Japanese scientists made an incredible discovery about superconductors. How did it happen? Was it A, one of them was picking out ham at the grocery store freezer section, noticed it was colder than the frozen chicken. That led to the discovery that ham makes an excellent superconductor. B, an incompetent lab assistant

made contact with two electrical leads and the current passed through his body with excellent efficiency without harming him. So he now works as a professional superconductor. Or C, the scientist got drunk, dunked a superconductor in booze, and discovered that red wine increased its conductivity 62%. C.

All right, we're going with C. I'm trusting them. It is C. It is amazing. What happened, they all got drunk, and they were like, oh, I wonder what all these boozes are. They tried all the boozes in the superconductor, and they got amazing results.

Red wine increases conductivity of the substance they were using 62%. Bill, how did Marin Alsop do in our quiz? Well, she's a winner in our book. Congratulations. Marin Alsop is the music director of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra. You can see her this summer at the Ravinia Music Festival outside of Chicago. Dates and more at marinalsop.com.

Marin Alsop, thank you so much for joining us. My pleasure. Give it up for Marissa Alsop. Woo! In just a minute, Bill talks to his breakfast in the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

Bitcoin needs a huge amount of electricity to power its computers. And that has created some very unique money-making opportunities in different parts of the world. It is also causing some governments concern. Listen and subscribe to The Indicator from NPR. From NPR, WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Petey Diabru, Faith Saley, and Adam Felber. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute.

In just a minute, if you're lost and you look, you will find Bill rhyme after rhyme. It's the Listener Lumber Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Faith, this week, a reporter spent four days

and countless resources getting to the bottom of a mystery that attracted feverish media attention from across the country. How a mysterious what ended up in New York City. Is this an animal? It is not an animal. Oh, it's not. Although sometimes it comes animal style.

Oh, an In-N-Out burger. Yes, an In-N-Out burger. What? A pristine, uneaten, perfectly wrapped In-N-Out burger was found in the middle of a street in Queens on Monday. What? Now, that is thousands of miles away from the nearest In-N-Out burger restaurant. It's global warming. It's migration.

It's possible. They can't be doing that. Social media became obsessed had New York found a strange and inconvenient way to patch potholes. Social media became obsessed had New York found a strange and inconvenient way to patch potholes. Was there a portal to a parallel superior dimension in which In-N-Out was available everywhere? And how did it survive more than three minutes without being eaten? I mean, that's a pretty good burger. Who cares if it's street meat?

What did we discover? Well, NYPD put out an Amberger alert. Anyway, an investigative reporter spent four days on the problem, and she was able to track down this 16-year-old Queens resident who had picked up three In-N-Out burgers on her trip to San Diego. People love them so much, they fly to California, they get burgers, they bring them home. Somehow she kept them in pristine condition the whole way back,

didn't eat them, But when she got home she was rushing to catch a bus. The bag burst open and one of them fell to the ground. Did a burglar steal it? Like a Hamburglar? No. We think what happened was like a lot of people or things that come to New York had thought it could finally be a star

so it ran away. And we'll be appearing with Andy Cohen next Monday night on Watch What We Found on the Street Live. Adam, online dating may actually now become a thing of the past because there's a new kind of matchmaking where you try to get a date

by simply asking your friends to do what for you? Find you a date. Yes. But using what technique? On their dating apps. It's like putting your profile like, and by the way, I have a friend.

No. Yeah. No, not at all. I'll give you a hint. Here on slide three, you can see that you know... Yes, PowerPoint. I read something about that. Yes. It on slide three, you can see that you know... Yes, PowerPoint. I've read something about that.

It's a thing where you ask your friends to create a PowerPoint slide deck all about you. Oh, that's great. Helping you move used to be the worst thing you could ask a friend to do. No more. It's a new dating trend. It gives you the opportunity to say the sentence, Hey, can you whip up a PowerPoint to help me get lucky the event is called date my friend dot PPT oh the office drones know that and it gives your friends a chance to pitch you

to other singles at this big presentation using PowerPoint Wow it combines all the fun of a work meeting with the people who know all your worst secrets and if your friend's name is Ted, you can say, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Exactly right. Wait, so, whoa. Okay. So do people, is it an event? Yes.

The idea is you go to this event, either you're a seller or a buyer. It's sort of exactly like any other kind of business presentation, right? Like an investment thing or a sales pitch. You come in. You're a buyer. You sit down. And the sellers come up and say, no, let me introduce you to my friend, Ted. And they show you a PowerPoint, including, and this was a real one, such positive points.

You know, it's, of course, it'll be a little bullet pointed list with a star wipe, you know. Has in-unit washer and dryer. Are there cons listed too? You want to feel like you're getting the whole package. It's sales. If you're a sale or a new sales, you don't tell people what's a bad commercial. I'd rather get it up front.

Yeah, I mean, this is... Let's produce a commercial. Yeah, it's like, is this a fix-me-up or can I move in? What's going on? Yeah, I know. Don't sell me a lemon. I'll sell you a lemon. That's terrible.? Yeah, I know. Sell me a lemon. That's terrible. Someone's like pitching you a potential date as like a real rehab opportunity.

That's not good. All Mary needs is some tender loving care and some ant abuse and she'll be fine. This one's a tear down but at a great price. Exactly. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message

at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, if that's 1-888-924-8924, or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org, there you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. And our upcoming show is August 29th and 30th at Wolf Trap outside of Washington, D.C. and September 12th at the New Jersey

Performing Arts Center in Newark, New Jersey. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello. Hello. Who is this? This is Serena from Austin, Texas. You're from Austin, Texas. What do you do there in Austin?

I am an x-ray tech at a hospital. You're an x-ray tech at a hospital? Yes. Okay, I know you probably get this question a lot and I apologize, but I'm genuinely interested. What is the weirdest thing you found inside a human being? I don't know if that's appropriate for public radio. Say more. Well, welcome to the show,

Serena. You are going to play the game in which you must, of course, complete the rhyme. Bill Curtis is going to read for you three news-related limericks, but he's not going to finish them. Your job, provide that last word or phrase. Do that two times out of three, you win our prize. You ready to play? I'm ready. Here we go. Here's your first limerick. My herd leaves a long, slimy trail. I'm a farmer, but on a small scale.

A cream from their slime seems to turn back the time, and that's why I'm milking a... Snail. A snail, yes. As if oat milk wasn't gross enough, they're now milking snails.

Do snails have nipples? Do snails have nipples? Suck on that, all things considered. Oh, my God. No, we're talking about snail mucus creams that are being used as cosmetics. People pay hundreds of dollars for this, although for half the cost, I will send you

what just came up from my stomach as I started to talk about this. Apparently, snail slime is a moisturizing agent with many benefits, collagen production, heals acne scars, and more people complimenting your wet, sticky face. Hey, handsome, did someone just sneeze on you in the subway? Here's your next limerick. In their shells, they don't have beaks nor legs. But for gossip, they are powder kegs.

With vibrations of sound, lots of news goes around. There is chatter amongst all the... Eggs? Eggs, yes. Eggs in the nest, it turns out, can talk to each other. They do this by vibrating their shells, an incredible discovery, and an efficient way to pre-whisk egg yolks for baking. It is believed that these vibrations of egg to egg act as a warning call

if a threat is detected, and it's not safe to hatch, but also can trick the mama bird into thinking her cell phone is going off. It's not safe to hatch. Like creatures out in the wild don't eat eggs? Well, apparently. I'm just telling you what the scientists have told us. Quick, remain an egg. We'll be safe inside here.

All scientists know is that they notice that when, say, a seagull, say, makes a distinct distress call, which they do, a warning call, the eggs start vibrating in a distinct way, as if they're telling each other, stay low, you know. But maybe it's also like that kind of communication you have with your siblings when you're sort of like, dude, like this is not a good day to talk to mom. By the way, I should say, this only applies to wild, fertile eggs in the nest. Don't worry about the eggs in the fridge talking about you the second you close the door.

Here is your last limit. For my baby, I'm changer and wiper. But at false alerts, I am a griper. Sometimes when there's stink, it's less full than you'd think. So I get text

alerts from the... Ooh, diapers. Yes! Pampers has created a new line of electronic smart diapers, which send data to your phone, alerting you when the diaper is dry. Using WiWiFi. Exactly.

Ooh, that's a strong signal. Wait, wait, can I have the past turd for your wee-wee five? Anyways, it lets you know how your baby's doing. It lets you know if the diaper is dry, wet, very wet, and you'd be better off putting her up for adoption. Think of it as a nappy app. That's called your nose. Well, this is, and I speak to you as a fellow parent, this is supposed to help you avoid

the we've all seen it, we've all done it, pulling the diaper back, smelling it, worse, sticking your finger down there to find out. Even you wouldn't do that, but the idea is like it'll just tell you. It's like, you know, oh, I see. I don't have to do any of those gross things. My phone tells me that my baby has just wet herself. Wherever she is, I have no idea. I'm staring at my phone.

Bill, how did Serena do in our quiz? Perfect. Three and O. Congratulations, Serena. Thank you so much. Take care. You too. Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will now have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points.

Bill, can you give us the scores? Petey and Adam each have three. Faith has two. Bill, can you give us the scores? Petey and Adam each have three. Faith has two. Oh, my gosh. All right, Faith, you are in third place, so you're up first. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Department of Justice announced it would not prosecute Attorney General Blank for defying a congressional subpoena. Oh, bar.

Yes. On Monday, the White House and congressional negotiators agreed on a two-year blank deal. Uh, budget. Yes. On Monday, the White House and congressional negotiators agreed on a two-year blank deal. Budget. Yes. After a five-month delay, Samsung announced the release of the first-ever foldable blank. Smartphone. Right. After being found injured in jail while awaiting his trial, disgraced billionaire blank was reportedly put on suicide watch. Epstein. Yes. Police in Australia made the world's easiest drug bust when a man driving with $140 million worth of drugs blanked.

Drove into police cars. Exactly right. On Monday, India successfully launched an unmanned mission to the far side of the blank. Moon. Right. According to a new study, people without a history of heart disease should not take daily blanks to prevent heart attacks. Aspirin. Right.

After being arrested by local police on a minor charge, a Dutchman blanked after being released. Dropped his children in the woods. No, he sent the officers flowers. The flowers, which arrived at the station shortly after the man was released, came with a note that said, quote, thanks for the good service, definitely five stars. It's a sweet gesture, really. How often do the police get that?

But police did get to the end of the note, which said, can't wait to do business police get that? But police did get to the end of the note, which said, Can't wait to do business with you all again very, very soon. I think Faith did pretty well, Bill. What do you think? She may pull this out. She got seven right. Fourteen more points, total of 16, and the lead. Okay, we have flipped a coin, and Adam has elected to go next, so Adam, fill in the blank. Okay, we have flipped a coin, and Adam has elected to go next.

So, Adam, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a federal judge blocked the White House's new policy blocking blank requests from Central America. Asylum. Right. On Sunday, masked men attacked anti-government protesters at a train station in blank. Amsterdam. Hong Kong. This week, officials reported that blank fired two short-range missiles into the ocean. North Korea.

Right. On Tuesday, the Senate voted to indefinitely extend the compensation fund for the survivors of Blank. 9-11. Yes. After being re-released into theaters, Blank beat out Avatar to become the highest-grossing film in history. That would be that Avengers movie, Endgame.

Exactly. A Missouri woman was upset when the cake she ordered for her two-year-old daughter didn't say, Happy birthday, Lizard, but instead said Blank. Happy birthday, Lizard. No, instead said blank happy birthday lizard no it said happy birthday loser mom was hoping to get her daughter elizabeth the cake with her nickname lizard but thanks to a rushed conversation with the bakery she instead got a cake declaring happy birthday loser fortunately elizabeth is only two and can't read. What a loser.

Bill, how did Adam do in our quiz? All right, eight more points, total of 11. He's in second place. All right. How many, then, does Petey need to win? Seven to win. Here we go, Petey. This is for the game.

Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump vetoed three resolutions that would have blocked his arms deal with blank. Russia. No, Saudi Arabia. On Tuesday, the Senate voted 90 to 8 to confirm Mark Esper as the latest blank. Spy. Defense Secretary. This week, the White House announced that the federal government would be resuming blank after two decades.

Capital punishment. Very good. A woman in Idaho is in trouble with police after calling 911 to blank. Snitch. Very good. A woman in Idaho is in trouble with police after calling 911 to blank. Snitch. Ask the police to stop chasing her during a high-speed pursuit. According to their Ministry of Health, over 19 people died in blank from drinking tainted alcohol. Russia.

Costa Rica. Following a huge dip in profits, automaker blank said it will cut 12,000 jobs. Nissan. Yes, very good. Police in the UK investigating a number of suspicious symbols drawn on sidewalks in a small town have determined that they were blank. Emojis. No, they determined... They determined that the mysterious symbols were just chalk butts drawn by a little boy. Toward the France kids?

The butt drawings appeared mysteriously all over the town of, wait for it, Ramsbottom. Residents were concerned, was this some sort of weird mystical markings of some cult? No. The mystery of the Yuna bummer was solved when a woman posted on Facebook, My son was given chalk in school today, and on the way home he took to drawing bums every 20 yards. Sorry. Did Peany do well enough to win? Now Peany got two. He stays in the ballgame.

Four more, and a total of seven. The winner is Faith. Faith, congratulations. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists, now that Robert Mueller is finally done with his special counsel probe, what will he do with the rest of his summer vacation? Special thanks to the Stock and Ledger Restaurant here in downtown Chicago for feeding us Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, a benevolent overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our house manager is Tyler Green, assisted by Simon Tran. Our interns are Panina Beattie and Lila Francis. Our web guru is Beth Novy.

BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. This week, our writing residents are Ron Metellus and Kate Villa. This is the spot where we used to mention Peter Gwynn, but we don't anymore. Technical direction is from Lorna White.

Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production coordinator is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now panel, what is next for Robert Muller? Peter Dabru. I think he's probably going to find somewhere

with no phone service so people can't call him in. He's going sailing. He's going to buy a yacht and name it Purview. So he can actually say, I can get into that. That's my Purview. Adam Felbert. As to the availability of 64 ounce bags of Cool Ranch Doritos, I am not prepared to go there, but welcome to Walmart. Well, if any of that happens,

we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Peter Dabru, Kate Saley, and Adam Felbert. Thanks to all of you for listening. You can ask, get to home. I'm Peter Segal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.