Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Michael Strahan

Episode Date: September 24, 2022

Michael Strahan, NFL legend and Good Morning America host, Michael plays our game called "Strahan? Meet Stray Hams" Three questions about wild hogs. He is joined by panelists Karen Chee, Negin Farsad, and Shane O'Neill.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. The bill, the bill, toil and tra-bill. It's me, Mac Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Oh, my goodness. We do have a great show for you this week. Later on, we're going to be talking to Michael Strahan,

the guy who went from a Hall of Fame career in the NFL to being a top-tier broadcaster, now hosting Good Morning America. It's amazing that he went from tackling quarterbacks to interviewing newsmakers and celebrities before tackling them. We want to see you demonstrate your answering game, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, Peter. My name's Kevin Maroney. I'm calling from Stanton, Virginia. Hey, Kevin. Now, where is Stanton? I don't know what I think. Stanton is a lovely town in the Shenandoah Valley in the western part of the state. Yeah, I've never been lucky enough to go there.

What do you do there? So my wife and I moved here so that I could join the leadership team of the American Shakespeare Center. Oh, my goodness. Is that a theater out there? It is a theater. We perform at the Blackfriars Playhouse, which is a reconstruction, basically, of Shakespeare's indoor theater. Oh, wow. Do you do it like Shakespeare did with people just, you know, talking constantly in the audience and eating oranges for snacks? Yes, absolutely. There you are. We use universal lighting, so one of our taglines is we do it with the lights on.

Oh, I see. Well, welcome to the show, Kevin. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a host of Fake the Nation podcast, and you can see her now on Hillary and Chelsea Clinton's brand new show Gutsy on Apple TV+. It's Nagin Farsad. Hello.

Hello, Nagin. Next, it's a comedian and a writer from Late Night with Seth Meyers. It's Karen Chee. Hello. Hi, Karen. And finally, making his debut on our panel, it's a reporter at the Stiles desk at the New York Times.

It's Shane O'Neill. Well, hello. Hi, Shane. How are you doing today? So, Kevin, you... Doing great. So, Kevin, I bet you knew this, but our opening act, if you will, is who's Bill this time.

Bill is going to recreate for you three quotations from the week's news. Your job, of course, explain or identify just two of them. You win our prize. Any voice from anyone on our show you might like for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready. I'm hoping he's going to be Prospero or Pericles. That would make it easy. You would kill an either. Here is your first quote. It's not a banger. That was a headline on military.com. Referring to a brand new song, this week the Defense Department unveiled the official theme song of what very new branch of the armed forces. Wow.

I would love a hint. Well, it's the newest branch of our armed forces wow um i would love a hint well it's it's the it's the newest branch of our armed forces if that helps is it the space it is the space force after years in development the newest branch of the armed forces is finally ready to go they have a theme song now and they have is finally ready to go. They have a theme song now, and they have... Well, they have a theme song. So here it is. You're going to hear it for the first time ever.

This is the new theme song for the United States Space Force. Okay, I'm sorry. No, that's not right. That's not right. That's not right. Here, and I'm sorry. No, that's not right. That's not right. That's not right. Here, and I'm not kidding now, the actual new Space Force theme song. That was Semper Supra, the theme song, right?

There you go. What do you guys think? Listen, I think that is a banger. My hips are swinging. Yeah, that's a great song. You like to kick back at home and crank up the John Phillips Susans, don't you, Karen? I can go back to the early 1800s and dance away. Is it like Biden doing a falsetto?

Is that what that is? It's very choral. It's unexpectedly choral for space. Yeah, you really don't expect to have choruses in space because they'd all stop breathing and die, I guess. It's hard to... I was surprised to find out that Grimes wrote that song. It's true, yeah.

Just to stick it to space. What was the name of the song? The name of the song is Semper Supra. Oh yeah, that's the name of Grimes' child. I believe so. That's how you pronounce the name. Yeah, those are the only letters you can pronounce. The rest are just unpronounceable glyphs. So it's great. Russia is on the march. Iran is destabilizing. Ukraine is begging for military assistance. And we're like, good news, President Zelensky, you're going to want to turn up the volume for this. All right, here is your next quote. It sounds unappetizing, and it is.

That was part of an official bulletin that came out from the FDA this week warning against the latest TikTok challenge, which is eating chicken cooked in what? I haven't even said what it is, and you're already going, ooh, what are you imagining? They're vegetarians. I would happily accept a clue from you.

You are not young enough to be participating in TikTok hints, unlike, say, me. That's right. I've been eating Tide Pods since you were in short pants. No, a hint, yes. Well, if you cook your chicken this way, you get protein, carbs, and a good two ounces of antihistamines. In cough syrup? Oh, you're so close.

I'm going to give it to you. It's NyQuil. NyQuil. NyQuil. NyQuil. In a very strongly worded statement, the FDA says, quote, boiling a medication can make it much more concentrated and change its properties in other ways, unquote. Well, what ways?

You're not telling us? Then there's only one way to find out. What's funny is, and this is true, that before the FDA put out their warning, don't cook your chicken in NyQuil, they had reports of like four people doing this. Since the warning came out, 4,000. I mean, but have you tasted a chicken with reduced NyQuil

and a side of pureed Mucinex. I mean, it's just delicious. In my preparation, I like to sprinkle crushed up Flintstone vitamins on top for a little garnish. Oh yeah, a nice garnish. I wonder do you think the kids are being super nice? Maybe all the chickens had a cold.

Have you ever thought about that, Peter? I'm thinking about getting a chicken breast and it sneezes and wondering. Yeah, got to give it some NyQuil. Exactly. And by the way, this is just a tip for you guys. If you're going to do this, do not use like cheap cooking NyQuil. Use the real stuff.

Every cook knows this. Do not cook with a cough medicine that you would not drink by itself. Extra virgin NyQuil. Yeah. Alright, here is your last quote. Your proportions look weird, especially when you're naked.

That was GQ magazine talking about a new $70,000 cosmetic surgery men are getting that makes them what? It makes them taller. Yes, you got it. It's funny, you didn't know the other two right away, but that one.

You may notice that the men who left the office, right, when the pandemic started are returning and some of them are three to six inches taller. And if that happens, it's because there is, in fact, a boom in leg lengthening surgery, right? They do this by putting this medical device on your femur, and it slowly stretches it gradually over time, or to put it another way, excruciatingly over time. But how fun is it, think about it, to be 45 years old and be able to put a new mark on the doorframe? That's wild, because I feel like if I were a guy, that's not the body part I would want white things. You know? I'm talking arms.

Of course. There are some parts I don't think you'd want a frame on that slowly stretches it for three months. I don't think... Speak for yourself. We're getting horned up over here, Peter. No, but the crazy thing is it takes like several months to heal.

Like you basically... you can't walk on them. You know what I mean? You just have to perch yourself on a Chez lounge and have some people like just enjoy your trophy legs by looking at them. Exactly right. Yeah. So here, here I am lying there. Yeah. It's utterly terrifying.

I've got a great proposition for this. Please, Shane. For $65,000? Yes. I will sell them high heels. How did Kevin do in their quiz? Eventually, he got them all right. Congratulations, Kevin.

I call you a winner, Kevin. Thank you so much. You guys are great. Thank you, Kevin. We call you a winner, Kevin. Thank you so much. You guys are great. Thank you, Kevin. Take care. Okay, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Nagin, the chief operating officer of the Beyond Meat Company, they make plant-based meat products, was caught at least attempting to have some real meat this week

when he tried to bite what? Oh, my God. He tried to bite a dude's nose. He did. In fact, he did bite the guy's nose. He succeeded. Look, they have done amazing things in imitating the texture and flavor of real meat, but eventually, you just get a hankering

for the real thing. According to the police, while exiting the parking garage after a college football game, a Subaru bumped into Beyond Meat COO Doug Ramsey's car, calling Ramsey to get out and, quote, punch through the back window

of the Subaru. Then the other driver, kind of upset, got out of, quote, punch through the back window of the Subaru. Then the other driver, kind of upset, got out of the car, which is when Ramsey bit him on the nose, which just shows that Ramsey really is a vegetarian. A real carnivore would have bit the guy in the sirloin. Yeah, because nose is a lot of cartilage. You're not getting the good stuff on the nose. You really need to go for, like for a buttock or something.

Also, he got so close to bite the nose. The guy in the other car must have thought he was coming in for a kiss. Not only was it painful, he was a little heartbroken. Yeah, he got rejected. I'm just surprised because I thought vegetarians

loved Subarus. It's true. Yeah, it's true. I'm a hungry man. That's what I am. I'm a hungry man. That's what I am. Coming up, find out who's misbehaving at the museum. It's our bluff delisteter game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. A hungry man. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Shane O'Neill, Nagin Farsad, and Karen Shee.

And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal. Thank you! Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait,

Don't Tell Me. Yeah, this is David Shaw. Hey, David Shaw. Where are you calling from? Rochester, New York. Rochester. We know Rochester. We were there a few years ago. What do you do there?

I work in a hotel. I'm a professional announcer for pro volleyball. You're a professional announcer for volleyball? Yeah, the ATP Tour. Wow, that is really exciting. I haven't watched enough volleyball to know how it goes, but do you ever have a problem keeping everybody straight because the ball goes back and forth quite a lot, right?

It does, but luckily I work on the beach tour, so it's just two on two. Oh, right, the beach tour. That's the one with the bikinis. That's better. Well, David, welcome to the show. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is David's topic?

You're out of here. Museums can be touchy places. You spill one drop of barbecue sauce on the Rosetta Stone one time, and they ban you from the British Museum for life. Our panelists are going to tell you about someone who got kicked out of a museum recently. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you will win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play?

I am indeed. All right. Let's hear first from Karen Chee. The curator at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art was in for a surprise last week when she took a turn around the Diego Rivera exhibit and found new paintings. What? Was the Mexican muralist back from the dead and having a new abstract period? No, they were actually the oil finger paintings of one Arthur McGarry, a 31-year-old from Marin County, California, who believes that his work belongs in a museum.

McGarry has been a struggling artist for a long time. He's submitted his work, one of which is a self-portrait titled, It's Okay If You Look Like This, to many competitions and galleries, only to face constant, unending rejection. MoMA curator Helen Albright said, quote, I know art is subjective, but Arthur McGarry's stuff curator Helen Albright said, quote, I know art is subjective, but Arthur McGarry's stuff honestly just sucks. McGarry has since tried to put up his work two more times in the past week, and now he is officially banned from the MoMA, as well as all other museums in the San Francisco Bay Area. They have all been sent a photo of his face in warning. They would have sent a self-portrait, but again, it's just really bad.

they would have sent a self-portrait but again it's just really bad a guy gets thrown out of a museum for trying to add his own work to the collection your next story of a museum exile comes from shane o'neill they say it would take nine months to view each of the 120 000 artifacts housed at the museum of egyptianities in Cairo. But what if you only have one day? One Australian tourist found a great solution. Wear rollerblades. Lynn Farmer of Adelaide, Australia, was spotted weaving through crowds with a GoPro camera mounted to her helmet while simultaneously using her iPhone

to broadcast on Instagram Live. Operation Cairo-ler Blades is a go! She shouted to her Instagram followers as she zoomed past a bust of the pharaoh Akhnaten shortly before being stopped by security guards who formed an impromptu Red Rover-style blockade to stop the skaters. Ms. Farmer remains unrepentant.

I guess it was a case of FOMO, she explained, using a word that sounds particularly funny with an Australian accent. Farmer. Farmer. case of FOMO, she explained, using a word that sounds particularly funny with an Australian accent. FOMO. FOMO. She then pointed out that there were no rules against rollerblading in ancient Egypt, presumably since the wheel had not yet been invented. A woman decides to see everything there is in the vast Egyptian museum in Cairo by rollerblading through it quickly. Your last story of someone being expelled from the exhibits comes from Nagin Farsad. Callum Carlyle, a 25-year-old resident of Edinburgh, Scotland,

took his girlfriend to Camera Obscura, a popular museum on the Royal Mile. One particular installation caught his attention. It was of a device that creates an optical illusion that makes small objects appear like much larger objects. Now, sensing a totally valid and not at all creepy joke opportunity, Kalem decided to see if it could make a particular something he had look larger. Something he had in his pants. Do you follow? Okay. It was a great and hilarious joke until he realized that the device was projecting the enlarged image to another room. And what's worse, that room was hosting a bunch of students on

a school field trip. After he put away the object and they left the room, his girlfriend was overheard saying to him, quote, I can't take you anywhere. Which is normally a kind of insult,

but in this case it seems to be literally true. All right. So somebody got drummed out of the galleries. For what reason? Was it from Karen Chee, a person who put up his own paintings, without being asked, in San Francisco? From Shane O'Neill, a woman who rolled through the Egyptian Museum on rollerblades, or from Nagin, a man who used the magnifying effects of the camera obscura exhibit

in Edinburgh to magnify his charms. Which of these is the real story of a no-no at a museum? I think I'm going to have to go with the last. You're going to go with Nagin's story of the Scottish man? Alright, well, your choice is Nagin's story. Well, we spoke

to someone familiar with this true story. Well, we spoke to someone familiar with this true story. You'll get very large projections of the same object into what feels like infinity. Maybe we need signs that say, keep your clothes on. That was Gita Demerji. She's the owner of the Museum of Illusions in Washington, D.C., where presumably nothing like that has ever happened. Talking about the man and the camera obscure in Edinburgh. Congratulations, David, you got it right. You're at a point for Nagin. You have won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail.

Congratulations. And thank you. Thank you so much for playing. Come on now, let's be brave Let's see what it takes you so much for playing. And now the game where we ask people with top tier talent to do something a little beneath them. The world has yet to come up with something that Michael Strahan cannot do better than anyone else. He was a Hall of Fame defensive end for the New York Giants, and then when he retired from football,

went into broadcasting and worked his way quickly to becoming one of the co-hosts of Good Morning America. Now he has launched his own line of skincare products, and somewhere, Kylie Jenner feels a cold wind michael strahan welcome to wait wait don't tell me oh yes you went right for the teeth gap joke. I love how you lead with that. I'm only, well, I'm not kidding at all. You were one of the greatest defensive ends ever to play the game,

certainly in the modern era. We understand your entry into football was a little different than my understanding most elite athletes were, because first of all, if I understand correctly, you only played college football for one year. Is that right? I played played college football for one year. Is that right? I played high school, high school football for one year. I grew up in, yeah, I grew up in Germany and my dad, my senior year of high school said, Hey, you want to play football? I said, sure. And he put me on a plane, sent me back to Houston. I stayed with my uncle for five months, played one year high school football. I had no idea what I was doing and ended up with a scholarship. And I was drafted

by the Giants and spent 15 years playing in New York. There you go. And my understanding is, though, that you weren't playing football in Germany, but you were watching it with your dad? Yeah, I was watching it with my dad. And I actually started, I was watching football, moved there when I was nine. And when

I was 13, I started working out. Because my brother, they gave me a nickname they called me Bob and I thought it was cool I'm the youngest of six and I thought it was cool, I had a nickname for my brother and then I realized Bob meant big old butt booty up

and that wasn't it and so that made me work out I bought the Jane Fonda workout VHS tape. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I swear to you.

You're telling me that if someone makes, like, the biopic about Michael Strahan, and knowing you, you'll play yourself brilliantly, there will be a scene of a 13-year-old Michael Strahan in Germany, like, with leg warmers working out to the Jane Fonda tape? See, you took it to another level. I didn't say the leg warmers and tights. I was doing the exercise. Okay, alright. I was doing

the leg lifts. I was doing the side lifts. I was literally trying to work my butt off because that's what they were making fun of. But yeah, I started working out when I was 13 and my dad saw how hard I was working at it and gave me an opportunity to play the game one year in high school. And that, you know, the rest is history, I guess. I was going to ask if you knew that you were going to go into a career in

broadcasting when you were playing, but you did not. Well, I'm surprised. And let me tell you why I'm surprised. Because I happened to stumble across a video that was promoted on YouTube as the best of Michael Strahan mic'd up. You were the greatest trash talker I have ever seen. There's one moment where you tackle some poor ball carrier, couldn't tell you what team it was, and you lean down and you say, look, man, I'm trying to help you don't run on this side that was Deuce McAllister for the Philadelphia Eagles yeah he was trying to get a rushing record or something for that year and I was like dude you're not getting it over here run to the the other side. Those guys will let you have it. Run to the other side.

I only talk, but I only talk if you talk to me. I didn't go out there and intend to harass somebody. But if you said something to me or if I felt disrespected, then you were going to get it the whole game. I want to

ask you about you've got a number of products and things. You've got a menswear line, and now you have a line of skincare products. Speaking as a man, I don't normally use skincare products. So is that part? That's the problem. You say that with confidence and you can't even see me. But you're not wrong. So here's the thing. So here's the thing. And I'm going to give you a chance. How are you going to convince idiot men like myself

that we're wrong and we should use skincare products? I believe that your skin is your confidence. We started our clothing line eight years ago. That's been incredibly done incredibly well. And you dress well, you feel good about yourself. It's like a confident thing, but your skin is the one thing you don't take off. Right. Did you read that Brad Pitt also came out with his own line of skincare products? Yeah. Yeah, I saw that.

And I love Brad Pitt, man. I'm the biggest Brad Pitt fan in the world. But I love Brad Pitt and the way he looks. But I'm not paying like $300 or something for my face. There you go. I was just, I'll be walking around here with bumps everywhere looking awful before I did that. That's a lot of money, man. But you have people who want to do it, so good luck, Brad Pitt.

I love you. That, ladies and gentlemen, Michael Strahan, Trash Talking Skin Care. I can't tell you how much fun it is to talk to you. It is joyful, but we have to play a game with you. This game we are calling... Strahan meets stray hams. So we figured you're Michael Strahan, famed football player, broadcaster.

But what do you know about stray hams, right? Wild hogs, wild pigs. We're going to ask you three questions about our porky friends. Get two right, you'll win our prize. One of our listeners, the weight-waiter of their choice on their voicemail. Are you ready to play? Is this multiple choice? It is.

It is. You know what? I will tell you this. If I don't win, I might not sleep the night out. That's always kind of fun when we bring that out in people. And I do hope that maybe we'll get some trash talk. But okay, here we go. Bill, who is Michael Strahan playing for? Aaron Lee of Los Angeles, California. All right. Suit up. First question. Wild hogs in northern Canada have developed an interesting way

to survive the extreme cold up there. What is it? A, after observing the practice in humans, they rotate themselves slowly over an open flame. B, they huff and puff and blow on each other. Or C, they build little ice houses that people call pig loos. You know, my uncle had a pig farm in Texas. Did he?

Didn't get much. Yeah, he did. I had a pet pig named Betsy. Did you? My brother did. Yeah, yeah. And then we moved to Germany and we couldn't take Betsy with us, but we took Betsy with us in another way. Oh.

I was about to say, I happen to know they like pigs in Germany, but not in a pet way. But anyway. But I would probably say, bee, puff and puff and breathe all over each other. You'd think that they do that, but the answer is amazingly pigloos. They apparently learn to make little ice houses they crawl into to stay warm. I know. Who knew? I didn't know. I'm not going to northern Canada

now. Canceling that off the tour. Alright, I'm down. I've got to make these last two to win. 250 pigs once escaped from a farm in Vermont, but most of them were lured back to their enclosures. How?

A, they were offered $5 Starbucks gift cards. B, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders arrived at the farm to personally escort each pig back home. Or C, they were lured with a trail of hot dog buns. Oh, man, when I tell you I am so tempted to go with one of the first two, but I'll go with C. Right, it is in fact C, hot dog buns. Which sounds like a great idea, but when you think about what normally goes into hot dogs, it's a little sick. All right, last question, if you get this one right, you will win.

Wild and uncivilized as they may be, pigs actually have a role in arts and culture as in which of these examples? A, somebody has produced an all-pig production of Hamilton called Hamilton. B, a pig has become the new lead singer in Maroon 5 after recent troubles. Or C, there is a musical instrument called a piganino, which pokes pigs of different sizes to make them squeal different notes in time. Are any of those real? Yes. All right.

You know what? I'm just going to go for it, man. I'm going with C. No, wait a minute. The audience here wants you to pick C. C? Yeah, the audience wants you to pick C. They are telling you to do that.

All right. I'll pick C, audience. There you go pick C. C? Yeah, the audience wants you to pick C? They are telling you to do that. Alright, I'll pick C, audience. There you go, you're right. It's true. That can't be right. Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink. Would it be great if you can get them to do the Space Force theme song? Bill, how did Michael

Strahan do on our quiz? Michael, it was the easiest win you've ever had. Two out of three makes you a winner in this game. Congratulations. Yeah, baby. Yeah. Michael Strahan is a Hall of Fame defensive end, one of the hosts of Good Morning America,

and his new line of skincare products, Michael Strahan's Daily Defense, is out now. Michael Strahan, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. I am very grateful to have you on this program. Thank you for having me. Oh, Michael, you are. In Chicago, I love you, everybody. Thank you, guys. You're the best, Michael. Thank you.

Thank you. In just a minute, Bill wants you to know his pants are supposed to look like that. See for yourself in the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Nagin Farsad, Shane O'Neill, and Karen Shee. And here again is your host, at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago.

Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. In just a minute, Bill follows the teachings of Rhyme Das in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, it is time to ask you some questions about this week's news. And we're going to start with a new game we're calling the Royal Flush. So even though the Queen of England is reportedly still dead,

there are still so many stories coming out of Buckingham Palace that we can barely keep up. So we are going to throw them at you quickly, rapid fire, all true or false. Okay, so answer as quickly as you can, true or false. Here we go. Start with Nagin, true or false. Okay, so answer as quickly as you can, true or false. Here we go. Start with Nagin, true or false. A British supermarket responded to the Queen's death by closing for one entire month. True. No, false. They responded by solemnly turning down the volume of their checkout beeps. Karen, true or false. Due to a typo in a newspaper story about her children walking behind her coffin, a headline read, Queen's four children talk behind her coffin.

True. No, false. It said, Queen's four children wank behind her coffin. Jane, true or false, Prince William magazine, the official magazine for fans of Prince William, reported they were overwhelmed with condolence messages for the Queen. As a subscriber, true. No, false. Prince William magazine, the official magazine of Prince William County, Virginia, was overwhelmed with messages of condolence to the Queen.

The game, true or false, the UK's Channel 5 paid tribute to the Queen by screening Bohemian Rhapsody, a movie about the banned queen. True. False. They screened to honor the queen the Emoji movie. Karen, true or false, by royal tradition, the royal beekeeper was required to go to the hives and tell the queen's bees that she had died. This is true. It is true.

The bees were shocked and were buzzing about it all day. Shane, true or false, after world leaders were told they needed to take an official bus to the Queen's funeral, President Biden decided to take his own official car and got stuck in traffic instead. True. Exactly. Karen, true or false, the moment the Queen's funeral was over, King Charles's former staff were told they had been fired. True. No, false, they were told during the funeral. No!

Shane, true or false, in a touching tweet, Cher called the Queen the goat the greatest of all time. With several emojis extra? True. No, it's false. She tried to do that, but she hit the wrong emoji, so ended up calling the queen a cow. That's all this week for our Royal Flush, and well, God save the king. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message

at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924, or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org, and you can come catch us here live most weeks at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, or if you'll prefer, Boston on October 20th, or at Carnegie Hall in New York City on December 8th and 9th. Also, the Wait, Wait stand-up tour is on the road now, including Kalamazoo,

Michigan, and a second show just added in Portland, Oregon. Tickets and info about all of that and more can be found at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Jordan from Somerville, Massachusetts. Hey, Jordan. I know Somerville really well. I used to hang out there sometimes, go to the Davis Square Cinema. What do you do there? I am a preschool teacher at an outdoor nature school. An outdoor nature school? Yeah, we're outside in the wind and snow and hail and rain and everything. Well, I was going to ask, because you are in Massachusetts, which famously has intemperate winters, so what do you do with, like, preschoolers out there in the snowdrifts? Yeah, you know, so they're so short,

sometimes we can't see them with all the snow. It's hard to climb up and slide down. We stay outside down to about 10 degrees. They're pretty hardy. Wow. I just had this vision of you tying plastic flagpoles with orange flags like they do

with fire hydrants so they can find them in snowdrifts. They look like a sim, like in The Sims. The one with the flags over their heads? Yeah. Very cute, yeah. Well, welcome to the show. You, of course, are going to play the listener limerick challenge.

That means that Bill Curtis is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. Finish those limericks two or three times. You will win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I'm ready. All right. Here is your first limerick.

The pants on the kids who are strutting look just like my uncle's, the glutton. But it's not that their zip has to fight for its grip. No, it's hip to undo the top. Buttons. Yes. According to some hipster writing in the New York Times, unbuttoned jeans are the latest fashion trend to absolutely baffle your dad. If done correctly, you can add some curves to your hip, which no one will notice because they'll be too busy wondering if they should tell you your pants are unbuttoned.

If you want to try this at home, experts say the style requires slightly oversized jeans worn high in the hip, and then unbuttoned and folded down along the waistline, a style first introduced hundreds of years ago after the first Thanksgiving. Now, in as close as I will ever come in this life to that Annie Hall, Marshall McLuhan moment, I happen to have the author of this article right here. So, Shane, so this is a trend piece you did for the New York Times did you are people actually doing this or did you go out to like Washington Square Park and say lady would you mind unbuttoning your jeans and I'm going to call that a trend so Peter my friend Michael he was like it's

happening it's happening all over the Lower East Side and I was like you are pranking me and then it's sort of like a curse where once you hear about it, then you start seeing it every time. I will say that I happened to be home in Oak Park while I was reporting the story. And my father was in the other room when I was interviewing someone on Zoom

about her decision to wear her jeans undone. And he just walked in and said, what do you do for a living? do you do for a living? And I said, the Lord's work, obviously. Alright, here is your next limerick. From her whistle tones,

she took a plunge, which Mariah can never expunge. She sang in the vein of a straining Cobain and recorded an album of grunge. Grunge, yes. Mariah Carey may finally share

her secret 1995 grunge album, or so she says in a new interview, the album has only remained secret so long because she recorded it in a pitch too high for human ears to hear. Carrie recorded the project after long days in the studio working on songs like Always Be My Baby, which explains why one of the grunge songs is called My Baby Nevermore. It's great. What I really want to hear is Pearl Jam singing, All I Want for Christmas is You. All right.

Here is your last note. Though people might point and might snicker, with SpongeBob, my breakout heals quicker. Like a kid, I attach a cute little patch. I have covered my zit with a... Sticker! Sticker, yes! This week, the Wall Street Journal reported on a hot new trend

from three years ago of people covering up pimples with goofy stickers like big hearts and Spongebob stickers covering your face. It's a fun, colorful alternative to just yelling, I have a pimple! It always hurts when someone beats you to a story.

You're dying here. You didn't get on the medicated pimple stickers. It's too late. The journal beats you to a story. I know. You're dying here. You didn't get on the medicated pimple stickers. It's too late. The journal beat you to it. Bill, how did Jordan do on our quiz? With a perfect score, she is now the queen of the preschool. Congratulations. Thank you, Peter.

Thank you so much for playing, and congratulations. Take care. Thank you. Bye-bye. Hey, before we get back to the show, a quick plug for our upcoming bonus episode featuring actor, Broadway star, and yes, of course, giant of podcasting, Sean Hayes. We were in our pajamas. We hooked up to Zoom. You just can't believe people find this remotely

interesting. Don't oversell it. Yeah. Here are extended Never Before It aired in its complete form interview available next week, only if you subscribe to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus. That's right, if you're tired of not paying us for all the joy we bring you, you can subscribe to hear our regular show sponsor-free. And you'll get these bonus episodes featuring extended cuts of our celebrity interviews,

behind-the-scenes content, and all kinds of other stuff you have never once asked for. Subscribe to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus at the link in our episode notes. All right, guys, it is now time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you please give us the scores? Karen and Shane each have four, and the Gein has two. All right. Damn it. they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you please give us the scores? Karen and Shane each have four and Nagin has two. All right. Damn it. Okay, let's do this. Nagin, you are in fact in third place, so you get to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, an appeals panel restored the DOJ's access to the classified documents seized from blank. Mar-a-Lago.

Yes. Following her funeral at Westminster Abbey, blank was laid to rest at Windsor Castle. The Queen. Of England. This week, the House passed a bill aimed at making it more difficult to overturn certified blank results. Election results. Yes. After strengthening into a Category 4 storm, Hurricane Fiona left most of blank without power.

Puerto Rico. Yes. After its public library posted on social media about banned Books Week, a town in Texas blanked. Raised a bunch of money. No, they banned social media posts about banned Books Week. On Tuesday, Adnan Syed, the subject of the podcast Blank, was released from prison. Serial.

Right, on Thursday, new photos of Neptune taken by the Blank were released by NASA. Serial. Right, on Thursday, new photos of Neptune taken by the blank were released by NASA. Oh, the Webb telescope? Yes, the James Webb Space Telescope. Park Ridge, Illinois, has rejected a statue honoring former resident Harrison Ford, citing the cost of the statue and also blank. Like Harrison Ford doesn't matter that much?

No, they mention the fact that Harrison... To them or something? No, they very much like Harrison Ford, but the problem is Harrison Ford really doesn't matter that much? No, they mention the fact that Harrison... To them or something? No, they very much like Harrison Ford, but the problem is Harrison Ford really doesn't like Park Ridge. According to the article, Ford has horrible memories from growing up in Park Ridge, Illinois, including the fact that, quote, the other kids would roll him down a hill

into thorny bushes on a daily basis. Wow. Things got even worse when they started rolling a giant boulder after it. Bill, how did Nagin do in our quiz? Six right, 12 more points. 14 is the total in the lead. All right. All right. I'm going to arbitrarily pick Karen to go next.

Fill in the blank, Karen. Okay. During an interview on Wednesday, Olivia Wilde confirmed that Harry Styles did not blank on Chris Pine. Spit. Right. On Monday, Mark Ferex, a Navy veteran held captive by the blank, was released in a prisoner exchange.

The Germans. No, the Taliban. This week, the Federal Reserve announced another interest rate hike to help combat blank. The inflation, recession, okay. Inflation, you said it on Wednesday. Quibble to your head. On Wednesday, over a thousand protesters were arrested after blank announced the mobilization of military reservists. Of Putin.

Right. Following Putin's announcement about instituting a draft, Google searches for blank skyrocket in Russia. Plane tickets? No, Google searches for how to break arm at home. According to a government health panel, U.S. adults should get regular screenings for blank. Cancer? No, anxiety. On Thursday, electric car maker blank announced a recall of over one million vehicles. Ford?

No, Tesla. This week, the incumbent mayor of a small town in Canada who's running for re-election was surprised to find that Blank was running against him. A dog. No. His brother, who he has not spoken to in 30 years. No. Bill Steele was elected mayor of Port Colborne, Canada in 2018.

He thought he'd get through re-election unopposed, that is, until his estranged brother apparently said to himself, hey, if Bill can do it, how hard can it be? The brothers will break their 30-year silence in the first debate, we presume, where they will discuss important issues like climate change and who really was supposed to feed the dog. Oh, my God.

This is like a terrible, terrible version of The Parent Trap. It's just like The Parent Trap, but sad old men. Bill, how did Karen do in our quiz? Three, right? Six more points. Ten, and that means Nagin is still in the lead. All right. So how many would Shane need to win on his first show ever?

Five to tie and six to win. All right, feeling good about this, Shane? Here we go. No. Fill in the blank, Shane. On Wednesday, the New York Attorney General sued blank for business fraud. Donald Trump. Right.

On Tuesday, a group of migrants sent to Martha's Vineyard filed a class action lawsuit against blank. DeSantis. Right. This week, it was announced that Ginny Thomas has agreed to be interviewed by the blank committee. The Breitbart committee? No. The January 6th committee on Tuesday. Flemish bishops defied the Vatican and issued a document saying

they would bless same-sex blank. Marriage. Right. This week a student in Utah was arrested after saying she would blank if her school's football team lost. Take off her shirt. No. Blow up the city's nuclear reactor. Oh, she should have. Text one, have a dozen of the other.

Rescue operations are underway following a mass blank stranding on beaches near Australia. Wales. Yes. This week, Ford introduced a new app that will let users know when they are about to blank. Merge. No, it is a new app that will tell you

when you are about to be hit by a Ford car. Oh, God. The app, which only works with newer model Fords, uses Bluetooth technology to sense when a Ford car is too close and bearing down on you, and it sends you an alert. So if somebody criticizes you for staring at your phone while you're walking in traffic, you can explain you're just trying to not get hit by a car. Bill did Shane do well enough to win. traffic, you can explain you're just trying to not get hit by a car. Bill

did Shane do well enough to win. Well, he got four rights and eight more points, and that means Nagin is the winner. Oh, yeah. Nagin, Nagin, Nagin, Nagin, Nagin. Yes! Came from behind.

In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists, now that leg lengthening is a thing, what would be the next trendy cosmetic surgery? But first, wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Koticka writes our limericks.

Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Our production assistant is Sophie Hernandez-Simonides. Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas.

I'd do anything for Peter Gwynn. I'd buy him a steak dinner and whisper sweet nothings into him. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, we've got leg lengthening.

What will be the next big trend in cosmetic surgery? Karen Chee. You get another butt for your butt, so it always feels like you're sitting on a bean bag. Shane O'Neill. Botox injected directly into the amygdala to temporarily paralyze all human emotions. And Nagin Farsad. I'm adding more skin to your elbow so you can get an even longer elbow droop.

Well, if that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Karen Jean. Nagin Farsad. To Shane O'Neill on a fabulous debut on our show,

to everybody here at the Scooby Baker Theatre and to all of you listening at home. Thank you so much for listening. I am Peter Segal. We'll see you next week.

Thank you. This is NPR.