Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Ralph Macchio

Episode Date: October 8, 2022

Ralph Macchio, star of Netflix's "Cobra Kai" plays our game called "Wax On, Wax Off, Yeowww!" Three questions about hair removal. He is joined by panelists Emmy Blotnick, Alzo Slade and Adam Felber.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

So, you've seen the TV show The Bear, and now all you want to do is come to Chicago and eat an Italian beef sandwich. And I don't blame you, they are great. But that's one meal. What are you going to do with the rest of your time? How about a spicy, juicy evening of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, live at the Studebaker Theater? Not only is it hilarious, but if you stick around afterwards, I personally will tell you the very best non-fictional place to get Italian beef in Chicago. For more information on Wait Wait, not Italian beef, go to nprpresents.org. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

Who cares about those other medals? You just won the Nobel Prize. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you so much. We have such a great show for you lined up. Later on, we're going to be talking to the actor Ralph Macchio, forever associated with one role, Daniel LaRusso, the karate kid.

You know, that kind of held him back for a while, but recently he broke through back to stardom with a new role, Daniel LaRusso, the karate middle-aged man. But first, we want to see if you can sweep our leg by taking our quiz. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. How are you, Ron?

Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, my name is Jennifer McCalcheck. I'm from Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania. Hey, Jennifer. So what do you do there in Mechanicsburg? I am a stay-at-home mom. You are? And how old are your kids? I have

one daughter and she's three years old. Three years old. And how do you find being home alone all day with a three-year-old? Oh, it's really exciting. It is. I can hear it. It is. All that cocomelon in one day. It's just... Well, welcome to our show, Jennifer. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's the host of Dad Band Land, the podcast that obsesses over all the music you love from the point of view of a neighborhood cover band. It's Adam Felber.

Hi, Jennifer. Next up, the comedian who'll be performing at the Comedy Cellar in New York next week. It's Emmy Blotnick. Hey, Jennifer. Hi. And a peabody and three-time Emmy Award-winning vice correspondent and host of the podcast Cheat, it's Alzo Slade. What's up, Jennifer? How you doing?

Good. How are you doing? So far, so good. Well, Jennifer, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Yep. Well, let's do it. Your first quote is from the President of the United States. You don't F with a bite. Now, that was the President. And we should say, you know, he did use the full expression.

Yes. Yes, he did. I believe it. He was caught on somebody's camera as he surveyed the damaged where this week? In Florida. In Florida, yeah. Somebody caught the president saying that, you don't F with the Bidens, to a mayor of one of the cities affected, and the mayor laughed and agreed with him.

The mayor later said, when he was asked about it, that both he and Biden both use salty language because, you see, they are Irish Catholics. That explains why you always hear the Pope say, let us F and pray. I feel like for you to have to say nobody Fs with a Biden, somebody's already Fed with a Biden. People F with a Biden all the time. There are kids on TikTok looping him falling up the stairs like every day. Well, every last one of them is going to pay at some point. Exactly. That's what he's saying. I love that idea of him as some sort of like mob boss. It's like, oh no, you've crossed Don Biden. Be careful. He's a hugger. Oh man, you're in deep malarkey now. Now the other, the other big story this week

out of the Florida recovery is the tale of the bucket bunnies. Apparently, and this is all true, these electricity utility linemen who all descended on Florida to repair all the damage there, who all descended on Florida to repair all the damage there, they all went to Florida away from home and got on Tinder. And their wives are not happy about this. I would think not. Right, I know. And they're bucket bunnies.

Well, right, there are terms for this. So the wives of the linemen call themselves line wives. That's real. And they call these women who go after their husbands on the road either bucket bunnies or row hoes, also real terms. And they're the women who are trying to steal their pole pumpers. That's right. That's not a real term. That should be, though. It's so wonderfully specific. It really is. Pole pumpers? Pole pumpers. Well, we think, I mean, bucket bunnies. You don't want to call them electro cuties or something?

Well, it... I feel like that's what they would call themselves, though. Oh, yeah. This opens up a whole realm of profession-specific kink shaming. Yeah, I think we're blazing new trails. Right. Like, how about those plumber's helpers? Right.

Exactly. I'm not going down this trail I'm not going down It's a whole new world Before the story, bucket bunnies was most often associated With women who were sexually attracted to all four Of Charlie Bucket's grandparents in that bed Two of them are buckets The other two have changed their names

These people have been sitting there for all of this. They're like, wait a minute. You don't mess. The Charlie Bucket Charlie in the Chocolate Factory. That's a classic. All right. Here is your next quote. The guinea pig is not living the best life he can.

That was somebody explaining why they're one of the many people who are now giving up the exotic pets they acquired during what? The pandemic. Yeah, the pandemic, right? We've heard about like the dogs and cats pets, but shelters are reporting a 50% increase in people giving up their regrettable pandemic exotic pets, chickens, ducks, lizards, and that lineman who appeared outside their house one day. He was hungry. He was hungry. Did you guys get any pets during the pandemic? Wait, is a chicken an exotic pet? I have the same question. I mean, it depends where you are.

On a farm, it's not exotic. That's disrespectful to farmers all across America. Right. In Soho, it's exotic. It's exotic. Yeah. I adopted a dog, and we're keeping him. Right.

You're not giving him back. Yeah, no, we like him. Yeah, that's good. There you are. Thanks everyone. Early in the pandemic, we got a lot of ants. Yeah. Everybody eating in the house all three meals every day.

Yeah. We already had two dogs, so we acquired a pandemic baby. And I don't know yet. What's the return policy? It's weird though, I mean, that all these exotic pets are coming back. Many of the animals being returned are mice and snakes.

So it seems like there's an obvious solution here. No one really wants to talk about it. Oh, you let the mice ride the snakes back to the shelter. That's what it is. That's what I mean, Emmy. That's what I mean, Emmy.

That's it. Yeah. And then they all go to a farm upstate, Emmy. That's what's going to happen. All right. Here, Jennifer, is your last quote. Where's your crown now? You stole from everybody.

Check every fish. Those were shouts from a crowd angry about cheating. And what kind of tournament this week? Oh, a fishing tournament. Yes, a every fish. Those were shouts from a crowd angry about cheating. And what kind of tournament this week? Oh, a fishing tournament. Yes, a fishing tournament. Oh, my gosh. You are on top of this. Are you a fan of competitive fishing?

No, I just watched the review on TikTok. Oh, yeah. So it did go viral. The world of competitive fishing was rocked with scandal this week when a team competing in a big professional fishing tournament was caught stuffing their fish with lead weights to make the amount of their catch seem heavier. Organizers first suspected there was lead in the fish

because of the fish's low standardized test scores and difficulty concentrating. Look, this is a pastime that's already associated with lying Right No one's ever exaggerated in fishing before Exactly, right now the judge who caught him Is like in a bar somewhere going like The guys I caught were this big So this was discovered right there at the judging In a large crowd surrounded the cheaters

It's all on video And they shouted things like Arrest them and call the police So this was discovered right there at the judging, and a large crowd surrounded the cheaters. It's all on video, and they shouted things like, Arrest them and call the police! To which the police responded, What? Those dudes were pissed. They were mad. They were upset. You cannot mess with the purity of professional fishing.

I mean, they were pissed. Just imagine how pissed the fish were. They were like, dude, I think I ate something funny. Now, I don't know if you guys knew this. Obviously, this one went viral this week. But as long as there has been professional big money fishing, which has been a while, there has been cheating scandals. One thing that these guys like to do is they like to load up the place in the boat where they keep their catch with fish pre-trip, right?

So they preload it with fish. There was one guy who would have got away with like $100,000 if he hadn't included four Filet-O-Fish sandwiches in there. Oh, yeah, that's a giveaway when you try to submit one of those at the end. Oh, yeah, if it's breaded, the judges are like... Pretty much. They're very suspicious. Bill, how did Jennifer do in our quiz? Jennifer, I hope you had fun because we did

You did really well Congratulations, Jennifer Thank you Thank you Alright panel, we have some questions for you from the week's news. Alzo, in an op-ed published this week, a family psychologist bravely took a stand against doing what to your child? Feeding them Filet-O-Fish with lead bellies.

No. Well, I mean, look at it this way. Think of the damage to a child's psyche when they realize up top isn't that far up. What, they don't let them sleep in bunk beds? No. You've never done up top? No. Oh, a high five?

A high five, yes. He recommended against high-fiving your children. No, no, no, no. Hold on. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. All right. Wait a minute.

What is wrong with high-fiving? Well, I shall explain, or rather I will quote him explaining. Psychologist John Rosamana explained in his op-ed, quote, the high-five is a gesture of familiarity to be shared between equals, unquote. And children, he pretty much says, are beneath him. What happened to this man that when he sees a child, his first thought is, established dominance. That dude, that dude had no high fives as a kid. He really did.

No, zero. And if you have any doubt that this guy, this guy is not a loser. He's a cool guy. He literally says in the article, and he proves it by saying, quote, I have traded the palm slap with adult friends. Why is that so gross? Absolutely. The palm slap. That sounds much dirtier than it is. Now you may be wondering, why should I take advice from this guy? Well, I wasn't wondering that. No, okay.

Coming up, whatever you do, don't eat your vegetables. That's our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

from NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Alzo Slade, Emmy Blotnick, and Adam Feldberg. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me bluffed listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Jamie Van Cleef calling in from Asheville, North Carolina.

Asheville, North Carolina? Out there in the mountains of western North Carolina. What do you do there? I'm a regional field scientist with the American Chestnut Foundation. So, I mean, I assume you're referring to chestnut trees, right? Yes, they are a functionally extinct species. But on the streets of New York this winter, there will be hundreds of people roasting chestnuts.

Are you telling me that's a fraud? Those are going to be European or Chinese chestnuts. Oh, we can't have those. No, no. No, no, no. Well, Jamie, welcome to the show. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Jamie's topic?

It ain't easy being green. Vegetables, the strange things that go between your hamburger patty and the bun, always get praised. We're always told how great they are, but it turns out they have their problems as well. Our panelists are going to tell you about a vegetable struggling with some bad PR. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play? Good. All right, let's do it. First, let's hear from Adam Felber. This Halloween, folks in some southern states are having to contend with a brand new horror, exploding pumpkins. Stay with me, folks. Here's what's happening The combination of our warming climate

And Halloween season starting so early Means pumpkins are being grown in unusual heat And that has given birth to a new bacteria That gets inside developing pumpkins Feasts on the pulp and releases methane Once peaceful pumpkin patches are peppered With occasional pops, booms And the whine of what can only be described

As squeaky, noxious pumpkin farts. Not all is lost. There are already reports of eager teens in Georgia and Texas playing a kind of Russian roulette where they take turns wrapping pumpkins with a stick, which proves the old adage, when life gives you foul-smelling exploding pumpkins, make foul-smelling exploding pumpkin aid. you foul-smelling, exploding pumpkins, make foul-smelling, exploding pumpkin aid. That pumpkin you were hoping to carve into a jack-o'-lantern might explode and get you first. Your next story of a vexed veg comes from Emmy Blotnick. Everybody knows that kale is very good for you, but if you think it tastes like an old wet envelope, you're not alone.

According to a new study, we hate the taste of kale even before we're born. Using 4D ultrasound technology, fetuses in the womb are seen to have noticeable facial reactions to flavors their mothers have eaten. Researchers compared photos of the fetus before at RBF, resting baby face, as well as after, after the mother has eaten kale, when the fetus is seen crumpling its face in disgust. They also found that

when the mother eats deep dish pizza, the fetus lowers its sunglasses and says oh yeah. Of course, this news comes as a devastating blow to Big Kale, which has spent the last decade in vain trying to replace lettuce in salads. A spokesperson for kale denies that its bitter leaves were to blame for all the grossed out babies and insists that this study is actually stealth opposition research funded by rival Greens, collared and charred. A study proving that even babies in the womb don't like the taste of kale. Your last story of produce problems comes from Alzo Slade.

Most of us know Popeye the Sailor Man to gain superhuman strength from eating spinach, but recently people are starting to see spinach as a catfishing vegetable. It doesn't matter if you cook a truckload or a pot full of it, once you heat it up it shrivels to just a bottle cap portion of limp and soggy leaves. With most of America clinging to this notion that spinach develops strength, black scientists have known for quite some time that spinach was a phony, taking the credit of another leaf, the collard green. A new collection of studies from researchers at historically black universities looking at the perseverance and strength of the black community throughout history shows in both good times and bad, the collard green was present to provide much-needed sustenance. When asked why there is

no correlation between other communities and the sustenance of collard greens, the scientist replied, seasoning. Responding to this research, this week Sony Pictures revealed that in an upcoming Popeye reboot, he'll be eating collard greens instead of spinach, and his new sidekick, Black Eye, will introduce the world to a magnificent pea. All right. All right, so here are your choices of a story of bad news for some vegetable. Was it from Adam Felber that some pumpkins are actually exploding on people? From Emmy Blotnick, that kale tastes so bad that even babies in the womb don't like it. Or from Alzo Slade, that spinach is fired by Popeye, and from now on, that sailor will get his strength

from collard greens. Which of these is the real story of vegetable troubles in the news? I think I'm going to have to go with the story about the kale. You're going to go with the story, Emmy's story about the kale that babies don't like it even before they're born. Well, okay. Now to bring you the correct answer, we actually spoke to someone who helped discover this particular vegetable problem. We have kale and carrots, so something bitter, something non-bitter, and then see whether we see different types of facial expressions in the fetus.

That was Nadja Reisland. She is a psychologist at Durham University, and she helped determine just how early on in our lives we hate kale. Congratulations, Jamie. You got it right. You earned a point for Emmy. You've won our prize. Yeah, you've won the Voice of Our Choice

and your Antimusine. Thank you so much for playing. Bye-bye, Jamie. Thank you, Jamie. And now the game where we get to talk to the heroes of our youth and try to make them heroes of our present. In 1984, at the age of 22, actor Ralph Macchio became the most famous 16-year-old in the world. Daniel LaRusso, The Karate Kid. Two sequels, and then 30 years later, Ralph has returned to the role as the adult Daniel LaRusso

in the hit Netflix series Cobra Kai. He's got a new memoir out soon called Waxing On, The Karate Kid and Me, and he joins us now. Ralph Macchio, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Thank you, man. I love the intro. Well, I want you to know, in case you were bothered by people coming up to you and just immediately bring up The Karate Kid,

I had not seen the movie until this week. True story. Really. So if I had run into you, I'd be like, Oh, my God! oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's you from Crossroads. That's right. There you go.

There you go. Yeah, no, listen. Audible gasp from the, you know. I know. I was the last one in captivity, and now there are no more people who have never seen it. How did you not see the Karate Kid? I don't know. Did you not go to the VHS rental

store, pick it out, watch it, be kind, rewind, return it so someone else could be blessed with this film? Well, here's the thing. And I think Ralph will know what I'm talking about. So I missed it. I must have been busy the night it was out. I'm sorry. Anyway, and by

the time I was like, oh, I should see that movie, it had become so popular and suffused popular culture that i felt i had seen it right the pop culture of it all became became like you know your snapshot into like it's like when you see a good when you see a trailer to a movie and it's such a great trailer and then you hear from someone about it like one or two more then you're like i've seen the trailer that has the best jokes this guy just said this guy wins at the end i don't really have exactly and then when i saw the movie i was so surprised it's more than 30 seconds long

actually my biggest surprise of the movie was pat narita the wonderful actor who plays mr miyagi was when you made the movie six years younger than I am now, which is a little terrifying. I know, I know. Believe me, there are memes of that. I can imagine. But it works for me, worse for me than you. Yeah, I guess. In fact, I wanted to ask you about that before I go back. So, so let's go back to 1984. You were, and for those of you who weren't there, even I knew this, you were like huge you were like in the cover of tiger beat yes I was on I was on and I was on those pinnacle like vogue gq tiger beat yes go on for our younger listeners tiger beat was something that was

called a magazine yes that's the thing turn. They had these shiny kind of pages. My funny is, here's a story. Here's a good story. My son, my kids didn't sort of know that daddy's not like all the other dads kind of thing when they were younger. Until he found at age, I think it was four or six, a bin that my mother kept with every single tiger bead 16 teen bop baby bop whatever he comes running in the house with like fistfuls of these teen magazines to his older sister and says dad was huge and we missed it that's amazing and then did he say, like, Dad, what do you mean? You were the karate kid just like Jaden Smith? No, not quite.

That hadn't happened. That hadn't happened. Well, you know, see, that's a cute story and all, right, Ralph? But I got something I need to express to you, bro. Go ahead. Like, you're woven into the fabric of my formative years. Like, you're a hero back in the day. I gotta tell you, bro, that crane kick

don't work in real life. Oh. Yo, I'm gonna tell you, y'all should've put a disclaimer at the beginning and the end of the film because Jason Taylor at Cobb Middle School kicked my ass when I was trying to do

that crane kick. Jason Taylor didn't care nothing about no crane kick. He waxed me. That's what he did. He just needed a human Yoda like my character had to help you out. No, I needed somebody to yell, cut, before.

All right. I got one more question for you before we play our game, which is that among many other privileges of being the Karate Kid, you had one of the great training montage songs of all time written for you. You're the best around, right? And do you ever use that when you're out for a jog because it's yours whenever you're feeling a little down you got to get that burst of energy you just let play that thing i will say this much in full disclosure this could be the first time i'm saying it out loud in front of 500 of my best

friends that i can't see in recent times on, on the Long Island Expressway, when I am cooking, it's like, I'm cranking that mofo. I'm just, this is pretty cool. I love it. Awesome. Can you imagine? Can you imagine pulling up next to Ralph Macchio? And you hear the song, and you turn your head, and there's Ralph Macchio, like, banging on the steering wheel, singing along.

Just belting it out. Oh, man. Now, when I have to do it, I've got to call you guys when I'm driving the Ford. Please. No, you've got to do the thing where people put their phones and film themselves from the dashboard doing it. Just rock it out to you're the best. Oh, that would be hilarious. One of these days. Maybe when Cobra Kai comes in for a landing,

that'll be my victory. That'll be awesome. Well, Ralph, it is so great to talk to you, but we have asked you here to play a game we're calling Wax On, Wax Off. Your character learned karate, famously, by waxing Mr. Miyagi's cars, so we thought we'd ask about a different use for wax hair removal. Answer two to three questions about the job we just learned is called an esthetician, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Ralph Macchio playing for? Ryan Hill of Orlando, Florida.

All right. Well, here is your first question. One of the most memorable waxings ever, of course, is Steve Carell's chest waxing scene in the movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin. The scene had a visceral impact on viewers. How did they make it so realistic? A, they applied mild electric shocks to Carell every time they pulled off the fake hair. B, every time the waxer pulled off the fake's hair, the sound effects editor put in the sound of Velcro being pulled apart. Or C, it wasn't fake hair, they really ripped Steve Carell's chest hair out on camera.

Um... B! The audience... Audience feels like it's B, huh? No, no, no, no, the audience feels like it's C. Yeah, I feel like it's C, too, No, no, no, no, no. The audience feels like it's C. Yeah, I feel like it's C, too, because I think I've heard Gail tell the story.

There you are. It is C. Yeah. They did it for real. They did it for real. It's one take, because you can't wait to grow the hair back for take two. All right.

With so many licensed waxers out there, it is important for salons to get their names out there in front of the public. But one waxer in Australia faced controversy after posting promotional photos of them doing what? A, giving a bikini wax to a real crocodile. B, wearing used wax strips like a beard. Or C, waxing the feet of a hobbit. What? wax strips like a beard, or C, waxing the feet of a hobbit? People are shouting

C again, but this time I think they're just messing with it. I think it's B. You think wearing the used wax strips like a beard? No, actually it was A. He had pictured himself waxing an actual crocodile, which we did not know had body hair.

But you said bikini wax a crocodile. Yeah, they don't have crutches. They don't have bikinis. Yes, but crocodiles all wear one pieces. We all know this. You show me one. You bring me one crocodile bikini and I'll... All right. Well, nonetheless, nonetheless.

Well, this is very exciting because as we all know from the movie, you do your best when you're down to the last chance, right? Okay. Don't use that damn crane kick, though. Keep your hands in front of your face. Exactly. Keep your hands in front. All right.

Here's your last question. Millions of people get waxed because they like the way it makes them look, but the prevalence of waxing around, well, the world has had an unexpected benefit. What? A, the average pair of underwear now lasts six months longer. B, it lowered the retail price of Crayola crayons. More wax available. Or C, it's officially made crab lice an endangered species.

Oh, snap. Oh, snap. Oh, man. I'm going with C. You're right. That's what happened. And I got to tell you, I did not believe this myself when I first heard it, but I looked it up, and there has been, in fact, an academic paper proving that these parasitic animals who like to live in human body hair

are becoming endangered because there's less body hair for them to live in. It's true. Bill, how did Ralph Macchio do on our quiz? Ralph has won the tournament with two out of three. That's a win, Ralph. Ralph has won the tournament with two out of three. That's a win, Ralph. Ralph Mancio stars in Cobra Kai on Netflix.

You can preorder his memoir Waxing On right now. Ralph Mancio, what a joy to talk to you. Thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks, Ralph. Thanks, Ralph. Had a great time. In just a minute, Bill offers you a greasy treat in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

Hey, a quick plug for our next bonus episode for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus listeners. We are talking about life on the road, what it takes for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me to tour the country, our favorite destinations, our least favorite regional cuisine, and how we compare to the Rolling Stones. You guys are a little bit of a handful, but so far so good. Compared to the Rolling Stones. You guys are a little bit of a handful, but so far so good. Compared to the Rolling Stones? You have no idea, Peter. You are a piece of work. I know I have no idea because you won't tell me.

That's in our next bonus episode. To hear it, subscribe to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus at the link in our episode notes. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Alzo Slade, and Emmy Blotnick. And here again is our host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill.

In just a minute, Bill vacuums his house with a Rhymeba. It's our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Emmy, shocking new research says there's a reason why men learn to play extreme heavy metal guitar they want to impress whom their fathers uh what's the guy from james hetfield who should i say like all the men

learning to play you're actually i'm going to give it to you because the answer is they're trying to impress other men. Oh, yeah. Which is not what you might think, right? This week, scientists proved why men learn to play extreme heavy metal guitar because it sounds great. Just kidding. No. According to the study, men learn to play that style of guitar, extreme heavy metal, to impress other men. Turns out, this is true, a big part of the reason people learn to play music is to attract a mate. But heterosexual women really do not like extreme

heavy metal. So the men who play that are just doing it to impress and maybe intimidate other heterosexual men. You know what? What? I got a lot of homeboys. Yeah? And none of them have ever played heavy metal in order to ingratiate themselves with me. They're not your real friends, though. Are you feeling a little bitter? Are you going to go confront them? No. No. Well, as a guy who plays keyboard in a band, I can tell you that that's the instrument you play if you want your bandmates to never think of you at all.

band, I can tell you that that's the instrument you play if you want your bandmates to never think of you at all. So, they're introducing the band, and we got Jeff and guitar, we got Bob on drums, and wait, you're here? What do you do? We've been playing with you guys for 15 years. Also, McDonald's has just announced a major change to their menu. They'll now be offering, for a limited time, a brand new Happy Meal for whom? For old folks. Exactly, for adults. Yes. It's part of a promotion with a fashion brand, and it is supposed to bring back childhood memories

of your parents finally giving up and taking you to McDonald's again. So, an old folks Happy Meal. Right. What's the prize? The prize? Well, that's again. So an old folks happy meal. Right. What's the prize? The prize? Well, that's interesting. Dentures. Gold-plated dentures.

No, just like the ones for kids, but the toys are like reimagined versions of the old characters. So, for example, it's Ron McDonald now. Is my mother dating him twice? The Hamburglar, now the Hembezzler. And Grimace is now Grimace every time I stand up. Did they make the ball pits deeper for grown-ups?

No? It's very sad when a tall person is in a shallow ball pit. Speaking from experience. I was about to say. Emmy, a new food craze might be heading our way soon. KFC's Overseas are offering fried chicken, but with what new flavor dipping sauce? Is it like, I feel like it's going to be something gross.

Is it like caramel, caramel, butterscotch? Why is every one of these questions a complete meltdown for me? Speaking of meltdowns, this could just be the melted ice cream flavor. Chocolate? Yeah, I'll give it to you. Specifically, mint chocolate. Oh, no. Oh, chocolate. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Oh, no.

Oh, yes. The mint chocolate craze is everywhere in South Korea. You can get burgers with mint chocolate, hand lotion that's scented with its soup toothpaste. Nope. Yeah. Mint chocolate chicken dipping sauce. Mint chocolate and chicken combined.

Do they not have NyQuil over there? That is such an I mean, will I try it? Yeah, if it's offered, yes. Well, you may not have to because the Wall Street Journal, Daily Diary of the American Dream, went and they spoke to people who were really into it and they

tried it, said one die-hard mint chocolate fan, quote, I didn't have high expectations going in and upon trying it, it tasted bad. Another really big fan of the flavor said, quote, I'm not sure this should be allowed. Wait, you all said you would try it? I think if somebody was like, will you try this? I got nothing else to do, you know? I got plenty other stuff to do. It's more fathomable to me than buying an adult Happy Meal where I can give myself a toy.

Coming up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. You can catch us here most weeks

at the beautiful Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago and we'll be at Carnegie Hall in New York City December 8th and 9th. Also, you can catch the Wait, Wait stand-up tour coming to Kalamazoo, Michigan, and Portland and Eugene, Oregon quite soon. Hall in New York City December 8th and 9th. Also, you can catch the Wait, Wait stand-up tour coming to Kalamazoo, Michigan and Portland and Eugene, Oregon quite soon. More information and tickets for all of that is on nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Well, hello there. This is Linda. Hey, Linda. Where are you calling from? From the far western corner of western

Maryland, Deep Creek Lake area. The name of the town is Accident. Hold on, I missed it earlier. What is the name of the town? Accident. The name of the town that you live in is actually Accident, Maryland. That's right. Okay. So I have to ask you,

is there a story of how Accident, Maryland got named? Long ago when the King Senate surveyors and two surveyors said, here's the perfect place. And they were both on the same place by accident. And so it's a perfect place to live. Oh, yeah. It wasn't just somebody was looking for on purpose and made the wrong turn. Right. Well, Linda, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly,

and two of the limericks will be a winner. Here is your first limerick. A meat spread has far too much clutter, and cheese makes my ventricles flutter. I'll serve up a spread that goes well with some bread. There's a shortage of butter. Yes, it's butter. Very good. Butterboards, the latest culinary trend. Perfect for anyone who thinks, you know what would be great?

A charcuterie board, but slimy. So a butterboard, for those who haven't seen it yet, it's essentially you take an entire stick of butter, you smear it on a cutting board, and then you cover it in the toppings of your choice, honey, lemon, zest, or if you're a freak, margarine. It's not to be confused, though, with butter boarding, which is how the CIA gets someone in Wisconsin to talk.

So there's butter only? Well, it's butter, and then you mix in things to the butter to make it sort of zesty or seasoned or flavored, and then you put it in front of your guests, and they presumably run in horror, and you don't have to spend any more money entertaining them. I'd say that's just as useless as a charcuterie board. Charcuterie boards are great. What's wrong with charcuterie boards? No, they're not. Youcuterie board. Charcuterie boards are great.

What's wrong with charcuterie boards? No, they're not. You put, no, charcuterie boards are weird. Say more. Yes, go on. Salami, cheese, grapes, and pickles. Yeah, we're all for it. I mean, you might as well throw some chocolate mint sauce in there.

I mean, you might as well throw some chocolate mint sauce in there. You like to keep your meat separate from your grapes, is what you're saying. Yes. It sounds like you just want someone to make you a sandwich. Cry for help. All right, here's your next limerick. It's silly string with more finesse. But the runway is still quite a mess. We use cans of spray

then cut excess away. And voila! Now we have a tight Wow! That's right, dress. The Coperni fashion show last weekend ended with a nearly

naked supermodel Bella Hadid standing motionless while a dress was spray painted onto her body. This wasn't just, you know, like body paint. No, it was this special compound that solidified into a rubbery fabric that completely covered her. Then the spider came out to take its meal. the spider came out to take its meal. And then once it was like shaped and cut a little bit, it was this actual dress that looked great on supermodel Bella Hadid.

So anybody who is supermodel Bella Hadid should be very excited about this coming to market. And then Bella, right as it was sprayed on and solidified, Bella was like, I got to pee. I mean, it's very great for Bella. I myself am waiting for someone to come up with these spray-on baggy sweatshirt. All right, here is your last limerick. This travel trend doesn't come cheap, for counting hotels keep live sheep. Hotels keep live sheep.

Cooled pillows let guests get some good calming rest. Folks will travel to get some good... How about... You said sleep. Yes, exactly. Sleep. Sleep. Now you can enjoy a custom-designed sleep vacation. This isn't just how you explain a coma to a five-year-old. It's real. Oh, man.

Apparently, vacations designed for people who just want to sleep are on the rise with hotels creating special sleep-centric rooms. They're like regular hotel rooms, but not next to the elevator. Sounds like you give them the butter board, and then here's your sleep vacation. Exactly right. Bill, how did Linda do in our quiz? Linda, you got the ball right, and it was by accident. Congratulations, Linda. Take care. Thanks for playing.

Thanks all so much. Love you all. Bye-bye. Thanks for playing. Thanks all so much. Love you all. Bye-bye. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can.

Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Emmy has four, Alzo has two, and Adam has one. All right. So, Adam, you're in third place. You know what that means. You go first. All right. There you go. On Wednesday, President Biden and Ron DeSantis vowed to work together to help Blank recover from Hurricane Ian. Florida. Yes. On Thursday, Twitter asked a court in Delaware to proceed with an upcoming trial against Blank. Elon Musk. Yes.

This week, a judge in Michigan dismissed charges against seven people involved in Blank's water scandal. Flint. Right. On Wednesday, OPEC announced plans to slash Blank production. Oil. Yes. On Monday, Gavin Newsom officially signed a law decriminalizing Blank in California. Jaywalking is a good day for me.

On Tuesday, New York Yankee blank hit his record-breaking 60-second home run. Aaron Judge. Yes, according to a new poll, the majority of Americans don't plan on getting a blank shot this season. A COVID booster. No, a flu shot. This week, Arnold Schwarzenegger stirred up some controversy when he signed his catchphrase, I'll be back, into the guestbook at blank. The Holiday Inn in Tacoma.

No, he signed I'll be back next to his signature at the guestbook at Auschwitz. What? The former governor visited a memorial at the invitation of the organization that runs it and he signed the museum's guestbook with his trademark line from the Terminator, I'll be back. People were upset, but the organization

assured everyone, well, it had been just a quick visit and he literally meant that he wanted to come back. People were upset, but the organization assured everyone, well, it had been just a quick visit, and he literally meant that he wanted to come back. Makes sense, because if there's one place you definitely can't wait to return to, it's Auschwitz. Well, at least he didn't go with any of his Mr. Freeze catchphrases. Chill, okay? Bill, how did Adam do in our quiz? Adam got six right for 12 more points. Total of 13 gives him the lead. All right. Alzo, you are up next. Fill in the blank.

On Thursday, President Biden announced he was pardoning thousands of federal convictions for blank possession. Marijuana. Right. For the first time ever, the U.S. national blank rose above $31 trillion. Deficit. I'll give it to you. Marijuana. Right. For the first time ever, the U.S. national blank rose above $31 trillion. Deficit. I'll give it to you. Debt. This week, a not-yet-built development in the desert of Saudi Arabia won a bid to host the

2029 blanks. World Cup? No, the 2029 Asian Winter Games. On Tuesday, country legend blank passed away at the age of 91. Loretta Lynn. Right. This week, a couple in Brazil was arrested after they blanked for their gender reveal party.

Had sex? No, they dyed an entire waterfall blue. The couple was filming for the entire party, including the part where the waterfall behind them, which feeds directly into a main water source for the town below, turned a shocking baby blue. It's all part of the new gender reveal trend where you know the baby is a boy based on how many townspeople you poison. Bill, how did Alzo do in our quiz? He got three right, six more points, total of eight,

and him still leads. All right, so how many then does Ms. Emmy Blotnick need to win? Five to win. That's not too big. Here we go, Emmy. This is for the game. On Tuesday, Donald Trump asked the Supreme Court to intervene in the review of documents seized from blank. Mar-a-Lago. Right. Despite international outcry, blank has continued its series of missile tests. Iran? No, North Korea. Yeah, right. Okay, I'll give it to you.

North Korea. On Wednesday, a jury found the chief of security for rideshare giant Blank guilty of covering up a data breach. Uber? Yes. This week, one enthusiastic fan at the Desert Days Music Festival in California started blanking on the other attendees. Crowd surfing? No, he started grating cheese on them. No one knows why. Of course, of course. On Monday, the SEC fined Kim Kardashian for encouraging her followers on Instagram to buy blank without revealing it was a payday.

Cryptocurrency. Yes, a crypto. On Thursday, French writer Aini Ernaux was awarded the blank prize in literature. Nobel? Yes. This week, a woman in Scotland posted an ad for a free coffin online saying she didn't need it anymore because blank. She's going to live forever. No, she didn't need the coffin because, quote, my husband has lived longer than I hoped, unquote.

We've all been there. Not in the coffin, damn it. The woman posted the free coffin on Facebook Marketplace along with a note that said, quote, bought it from my husband, but he's lived much longer than I hoped, unquote, which definitely is another way of saying when buying slow-acting poison, always ask, how slow? he's lived much longer than I hoped, unquote, which definitely is another way of saying when

buying slow-acting poison, always ask, how slow? Bill, did Emmy Blotnick do well enough to win? She racked up five, ten more points. Total of 14 gives her the win. Yay! Yay! Basking it, basking it, Annie. Thank you. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists what will be the next big scandal to rock the fishing world. But first, let me tell you, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ

Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions' Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. And we want to welcome our new intern, Vaish Nadu. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. B.J. Gliedemann composed our theme. Our

program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grombos, and Lillian King. Our production assistant is Sophie Hernandez-Simonides. Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas, Blythe Robertson, and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn butters my board. Technical direction is from Lorna White. our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer

is Ian Chilog and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next big scandal in fishing? Adam Felber. A steroid scandal is uncovered when someone catches a trout that has enormously muscular thighs. Emmy Blotnick.

Fishermen are claiming their catch comes with your choice of baked potato, rice, or salad, when in fact all three cost extra. And also Slade. They're dressing up tilapia to look like Chilean sea bass. If any of that happens,

we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Adam Felber, Emmy Blotnick, and Alzo Slade. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Sudovica Theater in downtown Chicago, Illinois. Thanks to all of you out there for listening wherever you are. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.

This is NPR.