Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Robert Reich

Episode Date: December 12, 2020

Robert Reich, economic advisor, joins us along with guest host Maz Jobrani and panelists Mo Rocca, Maeve Higgins, and Adam Burke.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Hey, it's Peter. Before we start today's show, I want to thank you all. But just so you know, it's one of those thank yous that leads up to an ask. But the thank you is totally sincere. Doing this show has been an amazing gift for those of us who get to do it. Me, Bill, the panelists, the producers, the engineers, everybody. Not just because it gives us something to do other than rewatch The Office again, but because it makes us feel like we are still in the room with you, like we used to be. We'd put you all on the Zoom call, we used to tape the show, but the windows get too tiny with that many people. So thanks for being there for us still. And also, well, here is the ask. Thank you for your support of your public radio station. We and they literally couldn't do any of this without you. So if you feel just as grateful for us as we do for you, go to donate.npr.org slash wait, and your money will go to your local station. By the way, that episode with the booze crews that Michael arranges because it's cheap during the winter, totally hilarious. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

Bring the beef. You're about to get a big plate of spaghetti bellonese. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host, a man who Peter Sagal is hoping does a terrible job, Maz Jobrani. is hoping does a terrible job. Maz Jobrani! Thank you, Bill. I am Maz Jobrani, and I'm so excited to be back guest hosting for a second week in a row. As you know, Peter and his wife had a baby boy last week, so he's taking a little time off to be with them. Who knew that raising a kid took more than a week? While Peter is knee-deep in diapers, why don't you give us a call and play our games? The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now it's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name is Jackie McKeown. I'm calling from Ormond Beach, Florida. Hello, Jackie McKeown from Ormond Beach, Florida. Thanks

for joining us. What do you do over there? I teach high school. Oh, wow. How brave of you. Are you guys, I'm in California. Are you guys doing in-person schooling right now? So we do, we're doing like the in-person and remote at the same time, the hybrid. So yeah, I have kids in front of me.

I also have kids on Zoom. So which do you prefer, the in-person or the Zoom? Honestly, if everything was perfect, probably the face-to-face but you know what we do what we can well we appreciate what you're doing over there teaching these kids in florida and armand beach and we appreciate you being here with us uh you let me introduce you to our panel. First up, a comedian you can see doing the 5 o'clock somewhere news on Instagram and YouTube, Adam Burke. Hi. Hi, how's it going, Jackie? Next, a contributing writer for the New York Times and host of the Climate Justice podcast, Mothers of Invention, Maeve Higgins. Hi, Jackie. Hi, babe. And correspondent for CBS Sunday Morning and author of the New York

Times bestselling Mobituaries, Great Lives Worth Reliving, Mo Rocca. Hi, Jackie. Hi, Mo. Welcome to the show, Jackie. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice you choose from our show on your voicemail. You ready? Sure am. All right. Your first quote is from a 91-year-old British man on Tuesday.

Well, there's no point in dying now when I've lived this long, mate. point in dying now when I've lived this long, me. That man was talking to CNN after he became one of the first people in the world to get what? The COVID vaccine. Yes, right. The first dose of the COVID vaccine went to a 90-year-old woman in Britain on Monday. She received the honor by camping out all week in front of a Walgreens to be first in line. Now, this part is true. The second vaccine went to a guy whose actual name is William Shakespeare. I guess he decided to be. Did it?

Wait, I got more. I got more. He hamlet them give him the vaccine. You've had days to come up with this, Matt. I hope they didn't give it to him in the Coriolanus. See, that's the problem. By this point in the week, all the good Shakespeare jokes have been taken. You see?

We're only left with the minor characters. We're left with those horrible dramedies. There you go. The problem plays. Well, you guys know, first of all, they're giving it to seniors first because, well, what's the worst that could happen? Not seniors in high school. Senior seniors. Senior seniors.

Unless it was a senior senior who went back to high school to meet somebody. Oh, that is a great pitch, Maeve. Get that to your agent right away. And did you see that actually the woman who got it in England was actually Irish? Not that it matters, but she actually was Irish. Is Irish. Oh, the first lady that got it was Irish?

Of course it was an Irish woman. They heard they were giving away free shots and she just elbowed people out of the way. Adam! That's a good joke. Guys, can I just say, I just want to say, I feel a little pressure being the only non-Irish panelist. I mean, it's kind of giving me an Ulster, the pressure. Oh my God. I think that's the problem. That's going to be part of the public relations thing with the vaccine though, because they're giving it to 90 year olds. And then

they're like, look, they're all better and everyone's like are they though because how do you tell me she still looks 90 it's gonna be a bunch very it's gonna be a it's gonna be a bunch of 90 year olds going on tour around the world but that's that's just the rolling stones it's like a global cocoon i love it all right let's go on to Jackie's next quote. I'm a little intoxicated. I'm not going to lie. That was a young Mark Zuckerberg on the night he got the idea for a website, which this week was sued by 46 states. What website? Facebook.

Yes, Jackie. Facebook. Yes, Jackie. On Tuesday, we got the news that attorneys general from 46 states plus D.C. and Guam have filed an antitrust case against Facebook. Although we saw this news on Facebook, so who knows if it's true. So Facebook responded to the lawsuit from 46 states by buying those 46 states. Can I just say that the way that Maz said, and Guam, reminded me a little bit of like Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy.

And Guam, like it was a punchline. But that's kind of how it feels when Guam kind of tags along into this lawsuit. And what about American Samoa? Like what's up with them and Mark Zuckerberg? Because they usually are just totally tagging along with Guam. But is this like their rebellious stage now? This feels like a really niche stand-up routine you're doing, Kim. What's the deal with American Samoa?

It does feel a little bit like let's mock the protectorates. Let's all come out as the imperialists we truly are. Would one of you guys open for me at that, Gio? I would love that. So they're trying to break up Facebook. Now, if successful, the suit will force Facebook to break up into smaller companies like iBook, Nosebook, Earbook, Elbowbook. I heard Zuckerberg was so upset.

He looked so upset. He blinked. That guy. I mean, if they sued me and I was worth $50 billion, I'd be like, eh, whatever. I mean, why would he even wake up and go to the court? Like, just let it go. Just live your life. Just let it go.

Get yourself an eyelash tint and stop having bad ideas that ruin the world. That's what I did 20 years ago. Look at me now. Your eyelashes look great and you've done so much good for the world, Nick. Thank you so much. Well, here's your last quote. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup. Quote, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup.

Those were some of the many lyrics obviously worth $300 million as who sold their entire music catalog this week. Is it Bob Dylan? Yes, Jackie, it is Bob Dylan. He sold his entire music catalog to Universal for $300 million. Man, that'll buy a lot of... The truth is, Universal's not sure what they got because the negotiation was like... They thought they got the catalog.

He thought he sold them his cat and dog. Miles, can you tell us what that mumble is written as on the script? It's written as indecipherable. That's my favorite song of his, by the way. The indecipherable blues. I want him to use that money to now buy Taylor Swift's catalog and re-record it. This is a cue for somebody to a la Bob Dylan sing a Taylor Swift song, which I can't summon at the moment. No, it's better that you don't.

I just want to see Bob Dylan with like a French braid outside in the woods in like a plaid shirt. You know whose catalog he could buy because I don't know if you guys heard about this, Stevie Nicks also sold her catalog this week. So yeah, leading Apple to introduce the new Fleetwood MacBook. It's just like a normal MacBook except it sleeps with all of your other electronics.

Yes. A dated burn, but still a burn. I'm looking forward to the headline in six months' time when Bob Dylan breaks his own neck with a solid gold harmonica holder. You know, but it is crazy that Bob Dylan, of all people, is selling out. I mean, what about the days when he was a pure artist who only did Victoria's Secret commercials and a Pepsi commercial and an IBM commercial?

You know, we shouldn't be shocked he sold out. We should be amazed at how many times one guy could sell out. Wait, he did an IBS commercial? IBM, not IBS. I would have respected him more if he'd done an IBS commercial. He is the, I mean, his voice is the sound of IBS.

That's what it's, that sounds like a stomach that's in distress. Bill, how did Jackie do? Jackie was wonderful. All three. She'll go back to that high school and be a hero. Thanks, Jackie. Jackie, thank you for joining us. Thank you so much.

Bye, Jackie. Thanks, guys. Thank you, Jackie. Jackie, thank you for joining us. Thank you so much. Bye, Jackie. Thanks, guys. Thank you, Jackie. Bye. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Adam, players of obscure sports like squash are angry that what was added to the 2024 Paris Games instead? Oh, breakdancing. Yes. Breakdancing is going to be a part of the 2024 Olympics, which depending on what disease is happening, will be held sometime between 2025 and never.

What is the difference, Maz, between breaking and popping? Oh, that's a good question. So popping is where the body's just moving like the robot and it's almost like every move you make, you pop. It's like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Breaking includes movements of dance and your legs are moving around and then you put in some robotic moves in the middle of it. Popping is the specific move. I have no idea what I'm talking about, but yes. And what about that thing when you're on your back and you spin around? That I always liked.

That's called the dreidel. The dreidel? By the way, Mo, actually, the difference between popping and breaking is popping is what my joints currently do when I stand up too quickly, and breaking is what they're eventually going to do because I haven't been to the doctor. And Adam will now get the COVID vaccine. Coming up, our panelists ride the wave in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Support for this podcast and the following message comes from Best Fiends, the five-star rated mobile puzzle game. You're a great multitasker, but be careful playing Best Fiends while making lunch can lead to unfortunate sandwiches. Peanut butter and mayo, anyone? So when lunchtime is at stake, maybe the next level can wait. But if you can't help yourself, well, hopefully PB&M is an acquired taste. Download Best Fiends free today in the Apple App Store or Google Play.

That's friends without the R. Best Fiends. Abigail Disney says if she ran the family company, she'd deal with the current economic crisis very differently. A CEO should be like a ship's captain. You know, if other people are drowning, you're the last one off the ship. Ideas about the history and future of finding financial stability. That's on the TED Radio Hour from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Maeve Higgins, Mo Rocca, and Adam Burke. And here again is your host, filling in for new father Peter Sagal, who's currently being spit up on. Maz Jobrani. Thanks, Bill. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello. Hi, who's this?

My name is Adam Wetherill. I'm from Nashville, Tennessee. Hello, Adam Wether'm from Nashville, Tennessee. Hello, Adam Weatherall from Nashville, Tennessee. What do you do out in Nashville, Tennessee? Rock and roll country? What is it, buddy? Right. It's funny because now I actually grew up there and it's like

fame is a prison, let me tell you. I work in, I don't know, it's a new job. Mostly it's just me surreptitiously Googling, like, what is LLC? Well, we wish you luck and can't wait to see you running the company in six months. If that happens, something will happen.

Well, it's nice to have you with us, Adam. You're going to play our game where you must try to tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill? Something's afoot at Big Wave Dave's. Big Wave Dave's Christmas trees and pumpkin patch in California was the setting for an unusual event this week.

And it's not that Big Wave Dave suddenly wants to go by Big Wave David. Our panelists are going to tell you the real story. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the weight weight waiter of your choice on your voicemail. First up, it's Adam Burke. Big Wave Dave's Christmas trees and pumpkin patch has been Ventura, California's go-to festive accoutrement emporium for over 50 years. However, when owner Dave Hemmings was offered a buyout slash partnership from Japanese biotech firm Teisho Grow, he jumped at the chance. I figured it'd give me access to new genetically engineered products, Hemmings explained.

You know, like pumpkins that didn't rot as fast or Christmas trees that don't shed. Well, that is not what happened. Hemmings' concerns began when the first batch of pumpkins arrived and appeared to be already carved. The Tokyo office is all about efficiency, said Heming's, and they figured out a way to grow a pumpkin that already had a face on it. The experiment was not a success, according to one Yelp reviewer. Jack-o'-lanterns are supposed to be spooky. These were just upsetting. My brother described it as looking like Walter Matthau having a seizure. Matters got worse when Teixo delivered a consignment of their

super techno bomb pre-decorated Christmas trees. I don't know what dark sorcery is employed to make a Douglas fir grow fruit that's shaped like holiday ornaments, said Hemmings, but I do know that Christmas baubles aren't supposed to ooze. Hemmings is seeking legal advice on how to dissolve his partnership before the Easter season arrives. I'm not ready to watch a live bunny rabbit lay an egg, chocolate or otherwise. Genetically engineered pumpkins and Christmas trees from Adam Burke. Your next story from the Christmas tree lot comes from Mo Rocca. Call it the tale of the prince and the pop-up. While shopping for Christmas decorations, Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex,

visited Big Wave Dave's Christmas Trees and Pumpkin Patch, a pop-up shop in Santa Barbara, not far from the couple's $15 million California estate. And it was there that a case of mistaken identity transpired as a five-year-old boy came face-to-face with the prince. Employee James Almaguer described what happened. Quote, there was one family in there and their stoked little son ran through trees up to Harry and asked if he worked there. An adorable scene to be sure. Now, had this happened in Britain, the parents of the rambunctious tot would have been beheaded. But ever since the Sussexes successfully seceded, settling in Southern California, They're just regular people, and you can pretty much say anything you want to them. Now, it's not clear how Harry responded to the boy's question. I mean,

it's not like Harry has an actual job. For all we know, he said, I don't work here yet. I know I could see Harry as a Christmas tree salesman. He'd certainly be better than his father. Can you imagine buying a tree from Prince Charles? Oh, I'm in love with this spruce. Yes, whatever in love means. Now, would you like a stand with that? All in all, a sweet story, more Hallmark than Netflix. So, Prince Harry as a Christmas tree employee from Mo Rocca. Your last tale from Big Wave Dave's

comes from Maeve Higgins. More huge decisions facing the highest court in the land this week as Big Wave Dave's Christmas trees and pumpkin patch faces a massive legal battle with Big Grave Maeve's New Year's Isthmus breeze and pumpkin batch. The Supreme Court will hear arguments today from both companies

about who has the copyright and who is the copycat. Big Grave Maeve's New Year's Isthmus Breeze and Bumpkin Batch has been around for decades, offering Michiganders their traditional January first windy walk along a narrow strip of land with water on both sides. Obviously, that's the Great Lakes, followed by a cosy baking session where they make a batch of delicious pumpkins which are traditional American muffins that taste like diet Pepsi but with gluten. When asked about the court case Big Grave Maeve was not pulling any punches. I'm confident that Big Wave Dave and his

Christmas trees, whatever they are, won't be around for much longer. I'm confident that Big Wave Dave and his Christmas trees, whatever they are, won't be around for much longer. I've been running this New Year's isthmus breeze since the 90s, and he got the idea of pairing a holiday with nature from me. Hell, he even got his name from me. Who's ever even heard of anyone called Dave? All right, Adam, you've got from Adam, called Dave. All right. Adam, you've got from Adam, genetically engineered pumpkins and trees.

You've got from Mo, Prince Harry Christmas tree employee. And you've got from Maeve, the lawsuit between Big Wave Dave and Big Grave Maeves. Which one is the real story? I feel like it's gotta be the prince and the Christmas tree. Adam. To find out the correct answer, we spoke to a journalist following the real story.

Prince Harry can learn anything from this experience. It's that when you leave the royal family, you become just another normal person at the Christmas tree stand. Oh, sweet. That was Eva Wolchover from the newsletter The Anglophile talking about Prince Harry being mistaken for a Christmas tree salesman. Congratulations, Adam. You got it right. Yay! Congratulations, Adam.

You betrayed me, though. Thanks. Long-time listener. First-time caller. It's been so much fun. Happy to have you on, buddy. Thanks. Long-time listener. First-time caller. It's been so much fun. Happy to have you on, buddy. Thanks. Bye.

Bye. Bye. And now, the game where notable people mistake us for regular NPR and answer the phone. Economist Robert Reich served presidents Ford and Carter before becoming secretary of labor under Bill Clinton. Since then, he's done something even more incredible. He's gained almost a million followers on Instagram, making him the Kim Kardashian of economic advisors. on Instagram, making him the Kim Kardashian of economic advisors. Suck it, Goolsbee. Robert Rice, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Well, pleasure to be here. So Robert, I got some questions for you. I'm always curious. So first of all,

you were Secretary of Labor. Okay. First of all, what does that job actually entail? What was your day-to-day like when you were Secretary of Labor? Well, any cabinet member, I mean, all you're doing is having meetings and you're on the telephone and you're under a great deal of pressure and people are running in your office saying, if you don't do this right away, the sky is going to fall. I mean, that's basically what you're doing. And when we have a recession, as we did when I was Labor Secretary, coming out of one, and obviously right now, that office and that particular department become very, very important. I've always wanted to ask you this. When your children were born, did their mother turn to you and say, who's the secretary of labor now? No, but there have been a lot of labor jokes. And very, very often when I was Secretary of Labor,

women who were in various stages of pregnancy would look at me and there would be kind of a giggle. Oh, you're Secretary of Labor. Well, now here you are now. You've got this YouTube channel. You've got this YouTube channel. You've got this Instagram page, and you put out these great videos that explain complicated issues in a very short, entertaining way. picks for all of the cabinet. But you explain who is more important. And one of the things you said was the closer your office is to the Oval Office, the more important you are. So the question to you is, how far away was your office when you were Secretary of Labor? The other side of the world. I was near China, actually. No, a labor secretary is not in the inner circle. I divided people into those who were in the loop, those who were not in the loop, and those who had no idea where the loop was.

And I was often in the third category. Like you knew there was a loop, but you just couldn't put your finger on it. Well, I suppose that's a fourth category. You don't even know there's a loop. I was actually in the third category. I knew that there was one. I just didn't know where it was. I'm wondering, as a secretary of labor, you analyze a lot of the different kinds of job and how the labor force changed. Tell us the truth. Do you get a little scared by those robot videos? I do. I think that it's not only the robot videos, but you just have to ask yourself,

when robots do more and more and more, you get a new invention. I'm waiting for the day where you have an I everything, a little thing that is capable of literally doing everything you want and need and supplying all of your goods and services. Who is going to have enough money to buy it? I have a question. Most economists agree to eat the rich, but how would you personally eat them? Souffle, flambe. Hollandaise sauce. I don't know. I think roasting would be ideal. Roasting.

Roast the rich. That's going to be a new saying. You are now on YouTube, on Instagram, and people that follow you know what I'm talking about. It is you make really difficult things very palatable. I've been telling everybody they got to follow you because you get it and you explain it well, right? And you're now a social media star. First of all, how does it feel to be a social media star? Do you get recognized by, you know, TikTokers and stuff walking around the streets? Well, no, I have a mask on. No, I don't know what a social media star is. Look, I consider

to the extent that it works, an extension of what I do in the classroom. I mean, it's part of education. Are you worried that Congress is going to break you up? education. Are you worried that Congress is going to break you up? It's already tried. I'm very short. I'm very short. I'm under five feet tall. You can't, you know, how much is left? Robert, since you really do understand the dire situation we're in, there must be something totally dopey you either read or watch just to keep your mind, to give your mind a break once in a while. What's the dumbest thing you're reading or watching right now? Well, I watched an old film a couple of nights ago called Notting Hill. Do you remember that film?

Hugh Grant, was it? Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. I mean, it is sappy. It is silly. It is really, really dumb, but what a great escape. When you tweet, do you feel good when you tweet? And do you take your time to get the tweet put together? Or you just go crazy and have misspellings? Because it seems like you're pretty precise. Well, you know what?

I don't really pay a great deal of attention. Basically, the criterion is what gets me angry. Where is my bile at the moment? Uh, and I think that's what's happened to social media. And I think it's a bad thing. It's not a good thing. Uh, and that is, there are just too many people who use it to vent. Do you block the trolls or do you get into arguments with them? No, I don't, I don't get into any arguments with any trolls. That would be the beginning of the end. I mean, then I'd need to watch Notting Hill every night. Well, Robert Rice, we've asked you here to play a game we call Secretary of Leisure.

You were Secretary of Labor, but what do you know about leisure? We're going to ask you three questions about things famous people do to relax. Get two right and you win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Robert Reich playing for? Tom Bean of Seattle, Washington. All right, you ready? Here we go. First question. Late in his life, Fred Astaire picked up a new way to relax. What was it? A, he would do regular errands like grocery shopping and mowing his lawn backwards in high heels. B, he started skateboarding in his driveway and fell in love with it. C, he started tagging spray painting local monuments with the phrase, Gene Kelly sucks. Well, none of them sounds terribly likely, but I'm going to go with A. So you think that he would do regular errands like grocery shopping and mowing his lawn backwards in high heels?

I'm afraid that would be my guess. He was skateboarding. He became a lifetime member of the National Skateboarding Society. Really? I'm amazed and appalled. All right, we'll go to the next question. Prime Minister Winston Churchill had a way he loved to relax, but he was really bad at it. It was which of these? A, he was an avid but very slow jogger and claimed to be the first man to break the four-hour mile. B, he loved bricklaying, but once got a note from the bricklayer's union saying, you would not be sufficiently competent to carry on the work of a fully qualified bricklayer.

Or C, he adored scrapbooking, which his wife Clementine called crapbooking. I would go for C. I mean, I could see him trying to do a bricklaying job. I can't see him jogging. But a scrapbook, yeah, that sounds consistent with my understanding of Winston Churchill. Well, he liked to lay bricks. Who knew? Who knew? Oh, dear.

All right, Professor Rice, you got to get one of these right. All right? You got to get that. What's going to happen? I mean, Steve, what didn't I hear that Steveve bryer yes justice supreme court got three exactly the justice stephen bryer got all he's still on the supreme court so well for now all you need is one right you'll be better than bryer so that's all you're looking for here last question when he's not busting heads and driving fast cars actor vin diesel relaxes by doing what? A, riding a tandem bicycle with Dame

Judi Dench. B, playing Dungeons and Dragons with Dame Judi Dench. C, gently bench pressing Dame Judi Dench. I like the alliteration of Dungeons and Dragons with Dame Judi Dench. So I think I'm going to try that one. Professor Rice, you are better than Stephen Breyer. D and D and Diesel. He's been an avid player for over 20 years, including a game with Dame Judi Dench. Dungeons and Dragons. Oh, whatever, Lee.

Bill, how did Robert Rice do? He pulled victory from defeat. Congratulations, Robert Rice.? He pulled victory from defeat. Congratulations, Robert Rice. You did a great job. Robert Rice is an author, professor, and the former Secretary of Labor. His new book, The System, Who Rigged It and How We Fix It, is now available. Thank you, Professor Rice.

Well, thank you, Matt. And thank you, everybody. That was fun. You'll always be our designated survivor. Okay. Okay. See you. Thank you. Bye.

Thanks. Thank you. In just a minute, we order pizzas to our listener limbrick challenge. Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Support for this podcast and the following message come from Masterclass. How can people find time to learn something new when they're juggling work and family? Masterclass makes it easy with inspiring classes designed to fit into your schedule.

Each class with a well-known instructor is broken into lessons averaging 10 minutes, making learning easier to fit into any part of your day. And with options to stream on mobile, tablet, and desktop, or listen, Masterclass lets you watch on the couch or listen to your favorite instructors while doing chores around the house. Explore Masterclass's catalog of classes taught by some of the world's most diverse thinkers, like Queer Eye host Tan France, who teaches style for everyone, or guitarist and songwriter St. Vincent, who teaches songwriting. With an annual membership, you can get unlimited access to Masterclass's full catalog of more than 90 instructors anytime, anywhere. This holiday, when you buy an annual Masterclass membership, you get another annual membership free. Go to masterclass.com slash wait.

Hey, Peter again, with a reminder to skip on over to donate.npr.org slash wait and donate to your local station. Maybe while I'm reading one of those weird ads for some kind of phone app. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Adam Burke, and Maeve Higgins. And here again is your host, filling in for Peter Sagal, Maz Jobrani. Thanks, Bill. In just a minute, Bill appoints Secretary of Labor Robert Rime in our listener limerick challenge.

If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, it's time for a game we're calling... Maybe next year. COVID led to the cancellation of so many things this year. The Olympics, Coachella, Jeffrey Toobin. But some things are still on. We're going to name some recent and upcoming events rapid fire style.

You tell us if it's been canceled or not, and you get a point. Ready to go? Yeah. Mo, canceled or not? The 2020 Pennsylvania Farm Show Butter Sculpture Competition. Not canceled. Wrong. Canceled.

Maeve, canceled or not canceled? The Kardashian Family Annual Christmas Party. Not canceled. Wrong. Canceled. Adam, the New York Young Republican Club Gala featuring Sarah Palin. Not canceled, but all the members are. Right. Not cancelled, and you're probably right as

well on the cancellation of the members. Maeve, the 2020 Bad Sex in Fiction Awards. Not cancelled. Wrong. Cancelled. Because they were going to take place at the Butter Sculpture. You know why they're cancelled? Because they've been a very bad, bad boy.

Adam, the 2020 East Peoria White Trash Boat Bash. Oh, it's year round. It's never canceled. Right. Not canceled. Mo, Des Moines Disney on Ice. Oh, I'm going to say that that is canceled. Wrong.

It's not canceled. It's Des Moines. Nothing gets canceled not canceled. It's Des Moines. Nothing is canceled. Except the S in Des Moines. Good one. Good catch. Adam, the White House annual Christmas and Jewish thingy celebration. Is he saying singing or thingy?

No, he's not talking about thingy pudding. Thing. Not canceled. Right. But the Muslim celebration was four years ago. That's it for our new game. Stay tuned to wait, wait for news about what's cancelled next, unless

we're cancelled. Coming up, it's lightning fill-in-the-blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. And check out our new bonus podcast letter from the editors where weight weight producers play you clips that got cut from the show instead of just deleting them like they

should do hi you're on wait wait don't tell me hi this is mallory norton from salisbury north carolina hi mallory from north carolina what do you do out there in north carolina i am a high school band teacher wow we got a lot of teachers that listen to this show guys What do you do out there in North Carolina? I am a high school band teacher. Wow, we've got a lot of teachers that listen to this show, guys. How do you teach band over Zoom? Yeah. Well, you don't. We're actually pretty hybrid.

We see one group of kids three days a week and another group of kids the other two days. Well, bummer for you because if you were teaching over Zoom, you could just mute them if they stink. Right. Well, welcome to the you, because if you were teaching over Zoom, you could just mute them if they stink. Right. Well, welcome to the show, Mallory. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you're a winner. Here's your first limerick. Some ham and this fruit share a twined grapple. Our pairing's a lovely twined grapple.

Our pairing's a lovely refined snapple. And with cheese, it's a treat. This year's most beloved eat. Our favorite pizza has... Pineapple? Yes, it is. Yes, pineapple. A surprising result in Grubhub's Year of food contest, shows people actually love pineapple on pizza. Unless, of course, the ballot counting software was made by Hugo Chavez.

In which case it's piña. For years, pineapple has been ridiculed as a pizza topping. It's the cool thing not to like. The president of Iceland even threatened to ban it. But when Grubhub looked at their delivery receipts, the truth was revealed. We love pineapple on pizza. Or it could be that pineapple is the closest any of us have been to eating fruit in nine months. Pineapple pizza?

Why, that's basically a health smoothie. Yeah, it prevents scurvy. I mean, that's why it's medicinal for me on my pizza. It's surprising that such a universally hated thing is so popular until you remember that young Sheldon exists. Here's your next limerick. Our students are no longer slouchy.

They will help when you're achy and ouchy. They think it's real cool to apply to med school. They all want to be Dr. Fauci. Yes, yes. Med schools are flooded with applications, and they're attributing it to Dr.ony fauci being such a smoke show they're calling it the fauci effect which is different than the pouchy effect which is what

happens to your middle section when you get too fat for your sweatpants and sit down or if you what they're calling the ouchy effect which is what makes you go to the doctor in the first place i went i walked i true story i went into a little store in my neighborhood selling christmas tree ornaments and the hottest seller were tony bauci christmas ornaments they sold out like crazy and then the the second most popular was ruth bader ginsburg and they have one that's like a tree topper. I mean, granted, it's the West Village. It's not the middle of Kansas. If you want to be in a position where people just ignore your advice, just be a parent.

You don't have to go to med school for it. Just have a teenage child. Well, you know, speaking of ignoring advice, medical schools are welcoming the increase, catering to Fauci admirers by adding courses in how to keep a straight face when an idiot is talking. All right, Mallory, here's your last limerick. U.S. scientists worked with Israelis.

Now our space force is no longer Flalien. Now we get along well with both Alf and Jor-El. We've already made contact with Aliens Yes, aliens According to the former head of Israel's space program

Aliens are real And here on Earth They'd reveal themselves But we're not ready So instead They live among us in human form As contestants on The Bachelor. They're not aliens. They're undocumented Martians.

You know, the man says the aliens are part of a, quote, galactic federation interested in studying human life and, this is true, conducting experiments. They have regular meetings with American and Israeli astronauts at a secret underground base on Mars and once had to convince Donald Trump not to blow their cover. Again, I'm not making any of this up. This old scientist is. You don't think that like one of their experiments is the whole pineapple on pizza? Do you? Now I'm questioning everything. Bill, how did Mallory do? What a teacher.

She got them all right. Perfect score. Yay. Three out of three. Thank you for having me. Thank you, Mallory. Support for this podcast and the following message come from SimpliSafe Home Security. The holidays are upon us and SimpliSafe is having a holiday sale, 40% off any security system. Whether you're traveling or staying put for the holidays, SimpliSafe can easily be set up by yourself in about 30 minutes

so you can get back to the celebration. Get 40% off SimpliSafe plus a free security camera today by visiting simplisafe.com slash wait. All right, now on to our final game, Lightning. Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points.

Bill, can you give us the scores? I sure can. Maeve has one, Moe has five, and Adam has six. Wow. Maeve, you're in third place, so you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill-in-the-blank. clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. In a unanimous ruling, the Supreme Court rejected attempts to overturn blank's win in Arizona and Pennsylvania.

Roe v. Wade, baby. Wrong. Joe Biden's. Oh. This week. I was so sure I knew that. Wow. This week, the stock price of HomeShare at blank doubled when it began trading publicly. Oh, exactly. I did this recently.

Airbnb. Airbnb. Yes, you got it right. Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert is a climate change denier who once said wearing a mask gave him COVID. And this week, his press conference was interrupted by blank. By the sun. If only. By one of his teeth falling out while he was talking.

Which he... He then spit into a hanky. Oh, that's a nightmare. That's actually a nightmare that I have. Here we go. You're going to get this one. On Thursday, Pop Superstar Blank announced her second surprise album

of 2020. The Young Girl by Dylan Taylor Swift. Right. Taylor Swift. You're right. On Wednesday, the unmanned test flight

of Blank's new experimental rocket ended in a fiery crash. Oh. Some kind of space company, I would think. We'll give it to you. Right, SpaceX. You're right.

You got space. That was good. On Wednesday, a drug company had to issue a recall after their antidepressant was accidentally swapped with pills for... Oh, is there the opposite? I guess that would be the worst thing that would happen. I'm going to say right because the opposite is erectile dysfunction. Oh, pure happiness.

Don't I know it, fellas? This is just like how the Reese's peanut butter cup was invented. Hey, you got your erectile dysfunction pill in my antidepressants. No, you got your antidepressants in my erectile dysfunction pills. The company has apologized for the mistake, but people who received the mixed up pills responded, don't worry about it. Either way, things are looking up. Bill, how did Maeve do? Maeve had four right for eight more points. She now has nine. That is good enough for the lead.

Mo, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump voiced support for a Texas lawsuit aiming to overturn blank. The election. Right. On Tuesday, the House passed a new defense bill, which included dropping Confederate names from blanks. From military bases. Right.

from blanks. From military bases. Right. After the president's pardon, a judge dismissed the case against former national security advisor blank, but advised that this doesn't mean he's innocent. Michael Flynn. Right. According to a new report, 14 designated hate groups applied for and received blanks. Free Hulu memberships. Almost. PPP loans. After a bump in November, scientists say that 2020 is on track to become the blankest year on record. Warmest. Yes, hottest.

On Thursday, NASA named the astronauts eligible for the newest mission to blank. Mars. To blank the moon. to blank. Mars. To blank, the moon. I knew that even. This week, health officials in Ohio advised Ohioans to avoid traveling to blank. They hate Indiana with a passion. So I'm going to say Michigan.

Wrong, to Ohio. The confusion came after Ohio was added to the Department of Health's COVID-19 travel advisory map, which is a list of states whose infection rates are rapidly spiking. Though the addition caused some confusion, it actually brings Ohio in line with other nearby states whose residents have been avoiding traveling to Ohio for years now. Bill, how did Moe do? Moe had four right for eight more points. He now has 13 and the lead. And Bill, how many does Adam need to win?

Adam needs four to win. Okay, Adam, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. Okay, Adam, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the White House pressed Senate Republicans to include $600 blanks in the new relief package. Stimulus checks. Right.

On Wednesday, U.S. attorneys in Delaware said they were investigating blanks tax returns. Hunter Biden. Right. This week, the U.S. confirmed over 3,000 deaths from blank in a single day. COVID. Right. This week, the U.S. confirmed over 3,000 deaths from blank in a single day. COVID. Right. On Thursday afternoon, talk show host blank announced she tested positive for COVID-19. Ellen DeGeneres. Right. During matches in Australia, cricket fans will have to deal with seeing ads for deodorant in blank. Braille.

In the umpire's armpits. Thanks to strong solar flares, the blanks may be visible as far south as North Carolina. The Aurora Borealis. The Northern Lights. Also known as the Aurora Borealis. No, that's the Northern Lights drag name is Aurora Border. On Monday, test pilot Chuck Yeager, the first man to break the blank, passed away at the age of 97.

Oh, the sound barrier. Right. According to retailers, the hottest toys of 2020 all have one thing in common. They blank. Suck. They poop. Step aside, Tickle Me Elmo. common they blank suck they poop step aside tickle me elmo this year's hottest toy is i warned you to stop tickling me elmo retailers say that kids number one choice for christmas this year is anything that can go number two with hasbro's new poops a lot toy dog and crayola's new Poops-A-Lot toy dog and Crayola's new Poop Silly Putty among the most popular gifts of the year. But if you can't get a hold of one of those, don't worry.

Any toy is a poop toy if you swallow it. Bill, how did Adam do? He got six right for 12 more points, which means with 18, he is this week's champion. which means with 18, he is this week's champion. It's a great day for the Irish. Great day for hair. Way to go, Adam. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict who will be the first American to get the coronavirus vaccine.

But first, let me tell you that. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our house manager is Gianna Coppadona. Our intern is Darius Cook. Our web guru is Beth Novy. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Ismail Lutfi. Regular thanks to Peter Gwynn. Technical direction, Lorna White.

Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilag. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now panel, who will be the first American to get the vaccine? Adam Burke?

I really hope it's going to be Santa Claus. Given the way he shoves himself down our chimneys, drinks from our milk glasses, and ho-ho-ho's all over our living rooms. He'll be super spreading more than just joy, if we're not careful. Mae Higgins.

It's got to be Bill Curtis. Yay, Mo Rocca. Well, of course, The Bachelor. You thought the Rose Garden event was a super spreader? It's got nothing on the rose ceremony. Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis.

Thanks also to Adam Burke, Maeve Higgins, and Mo Rocca. And thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Maz Jobrani. Peter will be back next week. This is NPR.