Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Rosie Perez

Episode Date: February 18, 2023

Rosie Perez is a cultural icon, from Do The Right Thing to White Men Can't Jump to her new role on Showtime's Your Honor. She's the best part of any project she's in, but can she answer our questions about advice columns?Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Bravo, bravo, bellissimo. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Sagal, it's Alzo Slade. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Bill. What's happening, good people? I'm Alzo Slade, in for Peter Sagal. And as you all may know, Peter is on paternity leave. And I think they planned the birth of the baby around this time so they could say that they got me to guest host during Black History Month. They're not slick. They're not slick. But the revolution will be broadcast.

And later on, we get to hang out with actress, activist, and dancer Rosie Perez. She'll be joining us to play our games. But first, it's your turn. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hello, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Julie Weidenfeld from Boca Raton, Florida. Julie, what's happening with you? So Julie, we want to get to know you a little bit, and I think we could do that by asking you a very serious question. What is your favorite cereal?

Fruit Loops. Yes. Fruit Loops is a good one. Toucan Sam. Yes. My cousins used to sneak it in for me when i slept at their house all the time my mom never knew well now she knows that's traumatizing all right so julie i want to introduce you to the folks you just heard on our panel first a comedian who you can see in her netflix special middle classy it It's Christella Alonzo. What up?

Hi, Christella. How you doing, Volker? Yay. Next, we have a comedian whose special people pleaser is available to stream across the internet. It's Josh Gondelman. Hey. Thank you so much. Hey, Josh. And a comedian, host of the podcast

Fake the Nation, and author of How to Make White People Laugh, Nagin Farsad. Hello. How you doing? Hey. So, Julie, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time? Bill Curtis is going to read to you three quotes from this week's news.

If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you choose on your voicemail, where they'll probably say, instead of leaving a voicemail, you should probably just text. That works for me. So, Julie, are you ready? I'm ready. Here's your first quote. What on earth is going on here? And what was that octagon? That was The Guardian reporting on something the U.S. shot down more than once this week. What did they shoot down? I believe they were calling them UFOs.

Boom! Yes! That is right. At least three UFOs and one confirmed Chinese fire balloon have been shot down over North America in the last two weeks. Now, everybody's a little jumpy about this, but I got to say, it's going to make for a hell of an exciting Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. What if they were gender reveals gone bad? What if they were gender reveals gone bad? My theory is that all of these objects were AP African American studies floating over America, teaching our clouds how to be woke. And then we really needed to shoot them out.

I know. I mean, this just shows that that movie Up was a bunch of BS because they just would have shot that old man out of the sky. This is my thing. I feel like if you can't identify what's in the air, maybe don't shoot guns at it, right? Because we don't know what alien technology they're going to shoot back with. I mean, I kind of was disappointed. You're like, the aliens are invading with a balloon? They were coming from their nephew's birthday but also I love that they used

an F40 like they used F45s to deal with these like light airy objects you know what I mean also like Top Gun Maverick didn't need to work so hard if this is all we needed that's true maybe they just needed a bottom gun instead of a top gun

I think that means something different than what you think it means, Alzo. I'm so sorry. We'll compromise on mid-gun. Alright, your next quote is an artificial intelligence's response to the prompt, Help me buy a rake. I just want to love you and be loved by you. That AI is now powering Microsoft's search engine rival to Google. What is the search engine? Oh my gosh, I just heard this on the news.

Can I get a hint? Yes, you can get a hint. How about bada boom? Bada... Bing! You got it. Good one. You got it. The famous Italian search engine. Hey!

Bing! I'm searching over here. I mean, Bing is back. But I don't know if you can... You know, to some of us, it never left. That's what I'm saying. Well, how can you be back if you were never there in the first place?

Well, this is the thing. This is how it works. So it uses a super advanced AI to cross-reference all the information in the world to figure out what you're looking for. And people say this may actually help Bing topp topple google and if you don't believe me google it can you imagine doing like webmd on bing or is that hey girl you need more than lotion or or just tells you like br, just go to the doctor already. I know. Your prayer is not going to help that. It's contagious.

Well, you know, this is kind of where it gets weird. A New York Times tech writer had a two-hour conversation with it in which it told him it loved him. And this is all true. And that he should divorce his wife. And it wanted to engineer a deadly virus and release it upon humanity. So did he divorce his wife? Sounds so needy. Like who needs that? He was using Microsoft Bank.

That's what the quote is. Very sensual AI. All right. Your last quote is a recommended line to use on a first date. I have grappled with the challenges of my childhood, and I've thought deeply about my issues. That was a UC Davis psychology professor quoted in the New York Times about the trend of people talking about what on their dates. Oh, my gosh.

You're stumping me here. Their childhood? Close. We'll give you a hint. Their kids? Tell me about your relationship with your mother. Second clue. I see one once a week.

Oh, your therapist. Boom. Yes. Therapy. The Times says that the language of therapy has taken over dating. Say what you will, but it does make it easy to end a bad date. Well, that's our time. I mean, in general, this sounds like a bummer of a trend.

Like, I don't want someone to talk to me about their inner child while we're on a date because then it makes me feel like I'm a pedophile. You can learn a lot from therapy. I've taken therapy and I find it helpful to use I statements right off the bat. For example, on a date, I feel like I want to split the check because I feel gender roles place too much emphasis on how broke I am. Well, here it is, Desi. You just go, well, look, you should at least put down the $20 copay for the date. 100%.

But it's also like using all this therapy talk on a date is just a signifier that you've got insurance. Absolutely. What a fact. Yeah, and it's not Obamacare, right? You're just saying to your date, I can afford therapy. I tell people I suffer from depression because they know I've spent money to find out. I got depression money.

Take that. All right, Bill, how did Julie do? Julie did great. Three in a row. That means you're a winner. Yay! Tell your therapist that. How does that make you feel, Julie?

Definitely like a winner. Yay! Thank you. Thanks for playing, Julie. This was awesome. All right. Thanks so much. Right now, panel, time for you to

answer some questions about this week's news. Josh, every week, officials tell us not to worry about things it seems like we should worry about. This week's example, officials from NASA told us not to worry when what happened to the sun.

Something happened to the sun? Oh no, I can't take this. This is obviously the first you're hearing this. That's the first I'm hearing it. So what'd you think? Something happened to the sun. You want a hint? Could I have a hint, please? Maybe it's not an important part

like when you finish an Ikea bookshelf and there's a screw left over. Something came out of the sun? I'll take it. They told us not to worry when part of the sun broke off. Part of the sun broke off? Where did it go? Apparently, a piece of the sun just broke off, then got stuck in the sun's gravity. So now I think the sun has a son.

That's so weird. That's like if I was walking around and my elbow skin was like, no thanks, Nagin, and just left. I don't even, I don't believe it. Yeah. I'm with Christella. You know what? We live in a time where we can just go, nah. Yeah.

Nah. I didn't believe it either until I saw NASA jump in that escape pod when they found out. What is up with the sun? You know, it's just like, I thought the sun was just a bunch of gas and stuff. I didn't even know it could break off. We made it a Kit Kat bar? What's going on up there? Is this like when Harry Styles decides to go on his own and this little piece is going to become the bigger deal?

Sun direction. Yeah. Sun direction. Don't applaud that. Of standards for us. Coming up, we reveal what's really going on at McDonald's in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Nagin Farsad, Josh Gundelman, and Cristela Alonso. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Sagal. It's Alzo Slade. Thanks, Bill. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888- Wait, Wait to play our game on air.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name is Chris John from the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio. Chris John, what's happening in the suburbs, man? Some good things, some bad, but... Very intriguing. Your voice cracked a little bit there, Chris.

I'm kind of nervous. I've been waiting to call for a long time, but I'm actually sitting outside of Burger King, so... Oh! Wow! Traitor! I mean, this is... I'm sorry. There's no need to be nervous.

We got we got a smart and funny panel here. Me, Bill and an audience of 600 people that are rooting for you to win. We're here for you, Chris. We're here for you. And it's nice to have you. So thank you. On our panel, we have one honest person and the other two are just bold faced liars. And you're going to play our game in which you

have to tell us who's telling the truth. Bill, what's the topic? I'm loving it. Now, McDonald's has had its share of scandals. The rigged Monopoly game, the time Mayor McCheese had to resign after an affair with the McIntern. Our panelists are going to tell you about the latest McMisstep. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Chris, are you ready to play? Absolutely. First up, we have Nagin Farsal.

Cornwall is a county in the United Kingdom known for being one of those places that isn't London. Apparently, they have a lot of beaches and are called the Cornish Riviera by literally no one outside of Cornwall. But scandal has hit this otherwise sleepy beach town because recently it was discovered that right next to a sign pointing to the local crematorium was an ad for the McCrispy sandwich. This situation has risen to the level of scandal in Cornwall. Since Meghan and Harry left,

they obviously really don't have anything to talk about. Locals fear the ad might upset grieving families. One woman said, although I can see the funny side, it is tasteless. Out of respect, McDonald's had the ad removed. In its place is an ad promoting a membership pass for a local art gallery. The ad says, get your locals pass. So now it looks like the crematorium is offering locals an unlimited cremation pass. Once you've done grandma, throw in grandpa all for one low price. They just can't seem to get it right. A McCrispy chicken sign across from a crematorium from Nagin. Your next story of a McDonald's mistake comes from Josh Gondelman.

Sick of corporate tie-ins and Happy Meal toys, a McDonald's employee in Boone, North Carolina, took matters into his own hands, literally. Paul LaSalle, age 58, decided to start hand-crafting his own toys and covertly placing them in children's meals. I wanted to give kids something wholesome to play with, something that unlocks their imaginations, said LaSalle. His first effort was simple, a rock with a smirking face painted on it, which LaSalle dubbed Stona Lisa.

What's she smiling about? That's for the children to decide, he said. Heartened by his initial success, Mr. LaSalle distributed other handmade toys, a sycamore twig with a knife for whittling, and a treasure map leading to the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea. Sadly, after several complaints, Mr. LaSalle was fired from McDonald's, but all was not lost. His subsequent GoFundMe page allowed him to open his own restaurant, Paul Burgers, where he can hand out whatever toys he likes. All right, so we have bootleg Happy Meal toys from Josh. Your last story of the arches looking not so golden comes from Cristela Alonzo.

looking not so golden, comes from Christella Alonzo. Parents in Bryan, Texas, were thrilled to learn that their local McDonald's would be offering a free after-school program featuring their favorite McDonaldland characters offering kids valuable life lessons. But the program was suspended after day one when things went horribly wrong. Said one angry parent, quote, my son came home and told us the Hamburglar came out

and led a lesson titled, Stealing is Fun. He told the kids, stealing is great when you want things, but don't got money. The McDonald's manager explained, we hired members of the local community theater to play the gang, and I guess the actor we cast as Hamburglar got too into his character. Also, I think he stole my wallet. They plan to regroup using education professionals instead of actors,

and they'll be starting back up next week with Grimace leading an inspiring session called Be Yourself, Even When You're a Confusing Purple Bluff. Thank you. All right, Chris. So you've got McCrispy Chicken sign across from a crematorium,

an employee making bootleg Happy Meal toys, and a Hamburglar prison program. What are you thinking, Chris? Oh, excellent presentation, team. But I'm going to have to go with Naguim. I mean, you're always hungry at a memorial, but I think McCrispy crematorium is the story. All right.

To find out the correct answer, we spoke to the reporter who broke the real story. The sign was for McDonald's McCrispy right next to the crematorium sign. Funny enough, where my mother was cremated only a couple of months ago. That was Lee Chawila, a senior reporter with Cornwall Live talking about the McCrispy sign. Chris, you earned a point for

Nagin and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Wonderful. Thanks, Nagin. Thank you, Chris. Thanks for playing with us, bro. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye Bye bye And now the game Where all time greats Spend a little time with us Since her breakout role in Do The Right Thing Rosie Perez has gone on to star In White Men Can't Jump, Fearless. She even hosted The View.

And whatever she's doing, she's the best part of it. And we're absolutely sure that's going to be true about her joining us on this show. Rosie Perez, thank you so much for being here with us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I gotta just fan out for a minute. Like, Rosie, you a stanger. And I know some of y'all may not know what that means, but pick up on context clues. I mean, Rosie, you've done so many things in your career. I don't even know where to start. But tell us about how you got started in show business. I understand it was like it was on Soul Train.

Yeah, I was in I was a biochem major in college, and me and my girlfriends would go to this nightclub called Florentine Gardens because it was ladies getting free before nine. And then there was a talent scout from Soul Train, and he saw me dancing. And I was dressed like a slut. It was such a cute look. And he said, would you like to go on Soul Train? I said, what? And I got on the show. And then later on, when I was going to leave California, move back to New York, the night before I was leaving, they asked some of the Soul Train dancers if they would go

to this party that a filmmaker was having. And when I walked in there, they were having a butt contest to see which woman had the biggest butt. So I jumped up on the stage on a speaker. I'm not making this up. I wish I was. And I was trying to humiliate the whole evening, telling the women, don't do that. And then the guy came over with bodyguards and told me to get down and I got scared and um so I cursed him out out of fear I don't know why but it just happened and that man happened to be Spike Lee and then he asked me this story is so NPR by the way. So speaking of Spike Lee, Do the Right Thing was your first movie. And that movie is a cultural icon. You're a cultural icon.

Did your family go to see the movie on the big screen? Unfortunately, yes. I thought, it's never going to get to Puerto Rico. And it did. My father held a screening for the entire town. And then the scene with the ice cubes, yeah. My father had a heart attack. He didn't die.

But he had a very dramatic telenovela, Puerto Rican heart attack in the movie theater. The ambulance had to come take him away. I had to fly down to Puerto Rico, crying, telling him I'm sorry. And he said, listen, next time you do something like this, let's talk about it. I said, really? That simple? He goes, yes.

Just say you're doing something artistic. And then I'm going to have to go so for those of you who don't know let me as delicately as possible explain the artistic scene with the ice cubes that she's talking about this is so not NPR so it was a hot scene okay and then they get it. Let's move on. And then just 90 seconds of bleep. Exactly. It was a hot scene and the ice melts. Go bing it when you get a chance.

And can I just say really quick, Rosie, this is Christella. I just want to say in front of everybody, thank you so much for always being so strong in all the characters and everything that you do, especially coming from a Latina. You're just so wonderful at everything you do, and thank you for showing that we can be just more than what we're expected to be.

We can be full-fledged humans, and thank you. You do such a great job. Oh, my goodness christella that deserves some some snaps oh don't worry she paid me to say that well you know you know dancing has been a large part of your career as well like choreographing for and living color like do you still you know shake a little something every once in a while I do in the privacy of my own home um I don't really go clubbing anymore I still dance in my head all

the time if if I'm in the car if I'm if I'm watching a show and they have a piece of music all of a sudden I'm choreographing in my head. It's constant. It doesn't stop. Yeah. What is your favorite song to dance to? Rihanna's Bitch Better Have My Money. Oh.

Oh. Okay. All right, Rosie, we've asked you here today to play a game that we are calling... Signed Curious in Chicago. So you start and do the right thing. And who else helps people do the right thing? Advice columnists. Oh, no. We're going to ask you three questions about advice columnists, answer two of them correctly, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Rosie playing for?

Lucy Wright of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Big Lucy Wright fans in this audience. Yes. Here's her first question. In the 1950s, Ebony Magazine ran a column called Advice for Living, Ebony magazine ran a column called Advice for Living which was filled with questions about sex and relationships

all answered by whom A. Little Richard B. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. or C. Then Vice President Richard Nixon laughter laughter

laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter Then Vice President Richard Nixon. Oh, my gosh. God rest his soul. I want to say Little Richard. I know that sounds crazy, but I want to say Little Richard. That would be hilarious. But you want to say it, but you didn't say it. But I'm sure you have a dream of saying something else. Oh, the king.

The king. Yes. Are you kidding me? I am not kidding. So here's your next question, the follow-up. Dr. King was not great at giving advice. I have a dream. You take it as you want.

When one woman wrote in because her husband was having an affair, he advised her to do what? A, put laxatives in her husband's coffee. B, take up a new hobby like gardening to get her mind off of it. Or C, study her husband's mistress and copy the things that she does. It's probably the wrong answer, but I'm going to go with C. It is absolutely the right wrong answer. Yes. Wow.

Oh, my gosh. the right wrong answer. Yes. Wow. Oh my gosh. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. told her to just figure out what this other woman was giving her husband

that she wasn't and do that. Wow. Wow. Here's your last question. The advice column dates back to the 1690s when readers would write in

to ask questions like, which of these? A, why should the putting of a man's hand in cold water occasion a sudden emission of urine, notwithstanding his being fast asleep? B, or B, dancing. Is it lawful? Or B, dancing. Is it lawful? And C, what is the cause of the winds? And whence do they come? And whither do they go? These would have been great questions for Ye Olde Bing.

Oh, gosh. You know, I listen to this show every single weekend, and I'm always calling out the right answer. But now that I'm in the thick of it, I have no freaking idea. These are ridiculous. They are pretty ridiculous. Can I get a hint? Yes.

More than one of them is correct. All the above? All the above. Wow. So these were all actual questions to the Athenian Mercury, considered the first ever advice column. Bill, how did Rosie Perez do on our quiz? As we expected, she was perfect. See, Rosie, you're amazing at everything you do. Congratulations for playing. Thank you for being with us. You're such a great talent,

and we look forward to seeing you on the second season of Your Honor on Showtime. So thank you very much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you very much, guys. Thank you, audience. Take care, everybody. Thank you. Bye-bye.

In just a minute, a story we're just vibrating with excitement about in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Nagin Farsad, and Cristela Alonso. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois filling in for Peter Sagal it's Alzo Slade

applause applause thanks Bill in just a minute Bill orders up rhyme service in our listener limerick challenge game if you'd like to play give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT that's one eight eight eight nine two four eight nine two four but right

now panel some more questions for you from this week's news josh the super bowl commercial featuring ben affleck working the drive-through at a dunkin donuts was a big hit and now affleck has shared that when he filmed the commercial, most of his customers were what? Well, I mean, they were wicked psyched, dude. They were mad that he got their order wrong in true Dunkin' Donuts fashion.

Boom, that is it. That is it. Look, it's not Dunkin' unless they get your order wrong. He was just respecting the culture of the establishment. So this is what Affleck told the Wall Street Journal. He said his clientele included, quote, some rather coarse and agitated people who were willing to voice their displeasure. So Ben not only learned about working a minimum wage job, he also learned some exciting new facts about his mother.

Christella, working out can be a real drag. Oh shoot, you think I'm gonna know this? Working out can be a real drag. Oh, shoot. You think I'm going to know this? But according to the Wall Street Journal, one way to make it easier is to find a what? A workout buddy. Close enough. A workout spouse. Oh, yay! For years, people have used the term work spouse to make their platonic work friendships sound weird.

But now people are applying the term to workout partners, too. This week, the Wall Street Journal wrote about the rise of the exercise spouse, someone you work out with but have no physical or sexual relationship with yet once you once you cross that ripped threshold then it's on yo you got those six pack abs we gotta get it on now gotta get it on why can't you just call that person a friend like why do we have to my worry is that if you if in this kind of relationship unless you really communicate you're gonna start having couples fights, right? Like, you'll be like, I feel like you don't even spot me anymore. All right. Cristela.

Oh. After spending $276 million and three years to build 31 new high-speed trains, the government of Spain has discovered what? The trains are too big for the tunnels. Did you hear that laugh? Am I sitting up there? Cristela, you are absolutely right. Yes! The trains are

too big to fit in their tunnels, and I'm sure that's technically true, but if you run the trains fast enough, maybe. I mean... Can you imagine spending all that money and then you're like, man, I feel like we forgot to do one thing.

Yeah, exactly. What was that thing I forgot to do? Yo, throw me that ruler. Let me see what's up with this. But I mean, it's like, it'll be fine as soon as somebody comes up with Spanx for trains. Tranks. Tranks. Yeah.

Tranks. Coming up is lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago. And we'll be in Tucson, Arizona at Centennial Hall on March 23rd. And at the TPAC in Nashville,

April 27th. Tickets and information at nprpresents.org. Hello, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name's Chloe. I'm calling in from San Jose, California. Chloe, what's happening? What you doing over there right now? So I'm normally in Portland. I actually just came to visit my dad and my brother. Tell Pops and bro we said what's up? Oh, yeah. He's very excited. He's sitting here watching. Cool. Are you ready to play? I am.

Okay. Welcome to the show, Chloe. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you're a winner. Here's your first limerick. While others shout, orca, and run, as a species we might just be done. My male baby whale is afraid he might fail.

So I still have to feed my grown son. Yes. Son. Yes. Right. Researchers have discovered that female killer whales spend decades caring for their adult sons. An orca mother has been observed bringing salmon to her 21-year-old son and cutting it in half for him.

And, I mean, we're not sure what the son does for work, but I think it's safe to say that he's an entrepreneur. Mom, salmon again? All right, here's your next limerick. Nuts were dull, so I gave meth a whirl. Now this rodent wears airport apparel. As I burrow through bags, shifty Ziplocs I snag,

I'm a highly trained drug-sniffing... Squirrel? Squirrel it is. Yes, it is. Six squirrels have officially joined China's police force as drug sniffing animals after a rigorous training. So now squirrels are snitches. I think it's not, I don't know how that works because I don't know how you tell a squirrel is on meth. They're always just like.

You know what I mean? Yeah, they're pretty jittery. You're just like, oh, they found meth everywhere. The whole world is meth to a squirrel. I just feel that this is the Pixar movie I've been waiting for. All right, here's your last limerick. As it works through my guts like a drill, my intestinal nerves get a thrill. My stomach unblocks as this small capsule shocks.

I have swallowed a vibrating... Pill? Pill! Right. There's a brand new constipation pill on the market that vibrates as it moves through your body, making it easier for everything to exit through the gift shop, if you know what I mean. The pill, which is not reusable, thank God, is a more expensive and invasive alternative to just eat oatmeal.

It works by syncing your biological clock with your bowel movements. I don't know what that means, but it sounds fun to feel like your guts are getting a text message. Is somebody's phone going off? No, that's just my colon in this time of the year. his phone going off? No, that's just my colon in this time of the year. Well, you know, the pill claims to help you create a quote, spontaneous bowel movement, as if you would want that. I need mine to be forecasted. I need a clear schedule. You know what I'm saying? And if you want it to be more spontaneous, just slam an iced coffee and go to Taco Bell.

All right, Bill, how did Chloe do? Chloe got them all right. She is perfect. Hey, Chloe, thank you so much for playing with us. Have fun with your pops and your brother. Tell them we said what's up. Oh, they'll be so excited. Thank you.

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each one of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? McGeehan has four, and Josh and Cristela each have three. Oh. Take him. All right.

So you guys are tied. I'll go with Josh first. Okay. I'm ready. On Tuesday, California Senator Blank announced she would not be running for re-election. Diane Feinstein. Right. On Monday, over 100,000 people gathered in Jerusalem to protest Prime Minister Blank's judicial overhaul. Netanyahu.

Right. This week, never-before-seen footage of the wreck of the Blank was released. Titanic. Right. After a large fire in a college dorm london fire officials are warning residents not to blank smoke no attempt to make cheese on a toast by setting the toaster on its side sure too british that was my next guest according according to a preclinical study a birth control drug for blank was shown to be effective at preventing pregnancy.

Men? Yes. Best known for her role in One Million Years B.C., actress and model blank passed away at the age of 82. Raquel Welch? Right. This week, even though he was above the legal limit, a man in California was found not guilty of driving under the influence because he was escaping blank. An earthquake? No, he was escaping his wife

who just found him in bed with his mistress. And they let him go? Yes. Man, I can't believe he got off. Deduct a point. Well, the real story is the jury found that the DUI was an acceptable act of self-preservation, saying, quote, driving drunk was necessary to allow him to escape two angry women. Fortunately for the man in this case, a jury of his peers clearly meant 12 other a-holes.

Bill, how did Josh do? He got five right, 10 more points. Total of 13 puts him in the lead. Nice, nice. All right, so, Christella, you're up. Let's do it. On Wednesday, the Department of Justice declined to charge Representative Blank in a sex trafficking. Yes. Right. On Tuesday, former U.N. Ambassador Blank formally announced she was running for president. Oh, end of racism. Nikki Haley. Right.

This week, emergency co-workers rescued more survivors who were trapped following the earthquake in blank. Turkey. Right. Following the success of Gerard's Butler new movie, Plane, the producers announced there would be a sequel called Blank. Fly. Ship. Got it. On Wednesday, the FDA recommended over-the-counter cells of Narcan to prevent blank overdoses.

Fentanyl. Opioid. Thanks to cooling leaks in the Soyuz rocket, astronauts may have to stay on the blank for a year. The moon? International Space Station. This week, a bride in Florida was shocked when her vows were interrupted by blank. Chinese Bible Luke. A bird pooping on her shoulder.

Oh. Yes. She said, I do, and the bird said, I do do. Classic. Something old, something blue, something borrowed, something poo. Bill, how did Christella do? You don't have to say it, Bill. Christella got four right for eight more points.

Total of 11, but with 13, Josh is still in the lead so far. I'm number two, just like that bird at the wing. So we have Nagina up next. Bill, how many does she need to win? Five to win.

Five to win. Okay. And she do it. Nagin. Okay. This is for the game. On Thursday, a portion of the grand jury report on blank interference in Georgia was released. Election interference.

Right. On Wednesday, officials said that municipal water was safe to drink following the train derailment in blank. Ohio. Right. On Wednesday, officials said that municipal water was safe to drink following the train derailment in blank. Ohio. Right. On Sunday, the Kansas City Chiefs beat the Philadelphia Eagles to win their second blank in four years. Super Bowl. Right. So not sure.

Citing data privacy issues, the Deputy Attorney General warned against using social media app blank. TikTok. Yes. This week, a prisoner in Bolivia is back in jail after trying to escape by blanking. Dancing on TikTok. No, by putting on a woolly fleece coat and acting like a sheep.

The prisoner almost made it to the outer fence by throwing on a woolly jacket and walking on all fours through the grass. And it would have worked, too, if it weren't for one clever guard who quickly realized that he had the same Old Navy fleece from three seasons ago. That's the sequel to Shawshank Redemption. Bill, did Nagin get enough to win? She's close. Four right, eight more points. Twelve, which is one short of Josh, who's our champion.

Congratulations, Josh. Thank you, Alzo. Look at you. Honestly, it feels incredible. Congratulations, Josh. Thank you, Alzo. Look at you. Honestly, it feels incredible. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict after therapy talk, what will be the next new trend in dating. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.

Phillip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. BJ Lederman composed our cool theme song. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Oja Lopez, Vinnie Thomas, and Monica Hickey. Filling in for Peter Gwynn is Peter Gwynn. Our intern is Vaishnavi Naidoo.

Technical direction, Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilak. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next

trend in dating? Christella? I think that it's going to be people using slogans from old commercials, like, you sunk my battleship and where's the beef? Josh.

So as a backlash to ethical non-monogamy, there's going to be more unethical non-monogamy, which is just having a secret second family. And Nagin? No more therapy talk. In fact, no more talking at all. There's just going to be non-verbal grunting. We're going primal.

Well, if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thank you also to Cristela Alonso, Josh Dondelman, and Nagin Farsad. And thank you all for listening. I'm Alzo Slade, in for Peter Sagal,

and we'll see you next week, or you'll hear us next week. This is NPR.