Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Sarah Polley

Episode Date: December 24, 2022

Actor and director Sarah Polley plays our game called "Sarah Polley, wanna cracker?" Three questions about parrots. Joining her are panelists Roxanne Roberts, Adam Burke, and Shane O'Neill.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson, filling in for Bill Curtis, who just hopped on a sleigh with eight reindeer and split. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. I really do sincerely want to thank the 18 people who managed to join us here at the Studebaker Theatre, despite the weather.

I'm really grateful to all of you who brought food and candles and really, really grateful, if it does get to that point. To those of you who have already gained that winter weight. Later on, we're going to be talking to actor and director Sarah Polley. But first, it's your turn to let us know what's eating you. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, how are you doing? I'm doing okay. Who's this? This is Elise. I'm from Indianapolis, Indiana. Oh, Indianapolis. Beautiful place there. I'm sure the weather is lovely. What do you do there? I'm a facilities manager. Used to work predominantly, almost only in sorority facilities, but now I work in the corporate world. I'm sorry, did you say you were a facilities manager at sorority facilities? Yeah, I managed a portfolio of about 20 different sorority houses, and it was about as insane as it sounds. I don't have a lot of experience with sororities for the obvious reason. My understanding of what frat houses look like after a party, pretty basic, beer, vomit.

What does a sorority house look like after a big party? Well, see, they're not supposed to have big parties. It's not to say that they don't, but I've also managed fraternity houses, so I can affirm that, you know, you're not wrong. Yeah, yeah. Well, welcome to the show, Elise. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a reporter and video editor at the New York Times, where he says he's eagerly awaiting a fair contract. It's Shane O'Neill. Hello. Hello.

Next, a feature reporter for the style section of the Washington Post. It's Roxanne Roberts. Hello. Happy holidays. Hello. And a comedian you can see headlining zanies in Chicago on January 16th. It's Adam Burke. Hello.

Hi, Elise. Hi. So, Elise, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Chayuki this time? Chayuki Ianson filling in for Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice you might choose from anybody on our show for your voicemail. Are you ready to do this? I'm ready to roll.

All right. Your first quote is from officials right here in Cook County, Illinois, suggesting how to prepare for this week. Drivers should have at least half a tank of gas, a shovel, a windshield scraper, small broom, road salt, tow chain, jumper cables, emergency flares, flashlight, hats, gloves, blankets, a first aid kit, and necessary medications. Just do that and you'll be ready for what? This winter storm or bomb cyclone. Yeah, the bomb cyclone. 100 million Americans. Yes. Give it up for bomb cyclone Elliot. 100 million Americans experienced record temperature and snowfall during peak holiday travel this week with flight cancellations

and delays affecting everyone but your least favorite family members. That list of stuff you're supposed to keep in your car, isn't that just all the stuff that the guy from home alone had? Exactly. Well, that's how you beat the weather here, physically. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we'll be out punching snowflakes

in the face. Actual snowflakes. It's not a political thing. Oh, you took a real turn there. This is apparently a historic storm, which means that next Christmas it will be the basis of a Hallmark movie, right? A single woman goes to the grocery store because of bomb cyclone Elliot,

gets stuck at home, goes to the supermarket, and falls in love with a man there that she meets while wrestling for the very last loaf of bread. All my friends, when I told them I was flying in for the show, they said, this is a Hallmark movie. You're going to meet somebody at the airport.

I said, yes, because that's such a classic place. Exactly. Or maybe right here on this stage. You never know. Exactly. Or maybe right here on this stage. You never know. In any event. In any event.

In any event. All right, Elise, your next quote is a politician this week defending himself from negative stories in the press. As Winston Churchill famously said, you have enemies? Good. It means that you stood up for something. That was New York Representative-elect George Santos dismissing the charges that he happened to lie about what? Oh, my goodness. Isn't he supposed to have descendants that survived the Holocaust? That's, oh, you know, I'm going to give it to you because, in fact, he lied about everything. According to the New York Times and others,

he lied about where he went to college, where he got his MBA, if he got an MBA, where he worked, where he gets his money, the fact, as you say, his grandparents fled the Holocaust, and being gay. Oh, and also that quote about having enemies he offered in defiance, Winston Churchill never said that. That is true. He responded to accusations that he had faked everything in his life with a fake quote. It is actually, and again, I kid you not, from a Dungeons and Dragons tie-in novel. Well, are we sure Winston Churchill just wasn't trying to make a buck?

It's possible. What do we know that is true? Well, interestingly, his name is George Santos. And that's it. No, apparently this came as news, this breaking news, that he actually does have a husband. Oh, really? People were like, because it turns out he's been promoting himself as like

the first gay, half-Jewish Republican. And somebody found this week that right before he filed to run for office, he filed for divorce from a woman to whom he was married. But now apparently he's married to a man. I will have to say, in Staten Island, being married to a woman is the gayest

thing you can do. It's probably true. Just judging by the Craigslist ads. So all these stories came out. It turns out he didn't do this, and there's no record of that, and this seems to be made up. And he didn't deny any of it. He didn't offer proof, for example, of where he went to college or where he had a job. Instead, he offered that quote. And then he said, everybody has a story.

I will tell mine next week after his birthday, Christmas, when he was born to a virgin. The main thing. All right, Elise, we have one last quote for you. Here it is. I had no idea that actress was a nepo baby. OMG. That, according to New York Magazine,

was the first recorded use of the phrase nepo baby. What is a nepo baby? It's someone who is born to someone of industry or gets their position from someone of influence that they're directly related to. Oh, look at you, Miss Merriam-Webster. That was great. New York Magazine published

this huge expose on nepotism babies in Hollywood this week. The article is behind a paywall, but fortunately I was able to use my dad's login. Basically, it turns out everybody right now in Hollywood is the child of somebody else in Hollywood, which is really a surprise. I never suspected it was anything but talent for Meryl Spielberg Clooney.

Nepotism has been around forever. It has. So is this something that just suddenly caught the magazine's eye? It does seem to be somewhat widespread. For example, and this is true, most of the leads in both the TV show Girls and HBO and The Boys on Amazon all have famous parents. Right? That's true. Ethan Hawke's kid, right, is in Stranger Things.

Even, you know, that tall, blue, skinny guy in Avatar, his granddad is Papa Smurf. Wait, are you saying that's how you create a nepotism baby is when someone from the girls meets somebody from the boys? Sometimes when a cast member of the girls and a cast member of the

boys love each other very much. I'm sorry, this is just further proof that we need non-binary nepotism representation in the industry. Exactly. Exactly. Choki, how did Elise do in our quiz? Elise's sorority letters are alpha, alpha, alpha. Oh, wow.

She got all three right. That's excellent. Elise, thank you so much. Well done. Thank you. Take care. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Roxanne, a new scientific study about hypothermia has finally, so we hope, put to bed a bitter argument that's been raging for 25 years.

Researchers have finally proved what? That you should listen to your mother and you should wear a coat when you go outside? No. That you should not wear shorts in the middle of a snowstorm? No. I'm going to need a hint. Well, it turns out science has proved they needed a bigger door. Oh, James Cameron said that Jack had to die because they both couldn't fit on the door

when the Atlantic sank. I mean, when the Titanic sank. Yes. Yes. Okay. I'm sorry. You misnamed the boat. No point. Yes, that's true. It's been 200 years since James Cameron's epic romance Titanic was released.

And we've spent those centuries arguing if Jack, Leonardo DiCaprio, really had to stay in the water and die at the end of the movie rather than climbing onto that floating door with Roe. So James Cameron himself, the director, writer of the movie, commissioned a scientific study where hypothermia experts reconstructed the scene with actors and a door, same size. They concluded the door, no, would only support one of them. Cameron says they did this by hiring people exactly the size of the two actors in question

and they put censors, quote, all over them and inside them, unquote, before dumping them in ice water. I'd like to see the resumes of the body doubles who are like, I am the exact dimensions of Leonardo DiCaprio and I will put anything inside of my body.

Exactly. Actually, apparently the reason that Leo didn't get on the door is the door was over 25 years old. Oh! Coming up, you'll be home for Christmas, if only in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Shioki Ianson. We're playing this week with Adam Burke, Roxanne Roberts, and Shane O'Neill. And here again is your host at the

Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Che Oki. Thank you, everybody. Oh, keep clapping. It warms the room. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name is Naomi Gunaratne-Brow. Yeah? Where are you calling from? Oh, yeah, so I'm originally from Chicago, Illinois. Oh, yay. But I'm actually just, yeah. But I was lucky enough to escape Chicago this week,

so I'm actually in New Orleans, Louisiana for Christmas. Oh, that is a lovely place to be for a lot of reasons. Instead of playing a game, I just want you to very slowly tell me all about that. What's the weather like and the food and the music and just go. Nope, never mind. Just incredible. You'd probably be upset by how good it is. I am already.

Naomi, it's great to have you here. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Joki, what is Naomi's topic? Home for the holidays. There's nothing like visiting family for the holidays. That's what I always say when I think my family might be listening.

This week, we read about someone who will not be happy about the family reunion this year. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling you the truth, and you'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Okay. All right.

First, let's hear from Adam Burke. When Cody Becker first met his husband's aunt during a New Hampshire Christmas in 2021, he was instantly taken with her interest in competitive gift wrapping. The aunt, Cheryl Cooper, had won Macy's regional gift wrapping competition three years in a row. So taken was Becker that as soon as he returned home, he began trying to emulate her artistry with paper and bow. And when it came to the regional gift wrapping final the following year, Cheryl saw a familiar face waving at her across the competition floor. Cheryl's initial frostiness became positively arctic once Becker was crowned winner.

I thought she'd be happy in a student has become the master kind of way, says Becker. But that's when the gifts start arriving. Becker began receiving ever more elaborately wrapped and decorated packages that conveyed the depth of Cheryl's displeasure. I ripped one extravagant glitter-covered origami swan open only to find a framed picture of me and my husband, only I had been cropped out of it, says Becker. Cody thinks it's best if he skips the Christmas gathering this year, but has sent Cheryl a well wrapped gift of his own, a framed photo of the trophy on his mantle. A man and his husband's aunt in a bitter rivalry over competitive gift wrapping.

Your next story of an awkward family gathering to come comes from Roxanne Roberts. Tom Baio knew the election for the Menham, New Jersey Township Committee might be close, for the Mendham, New Jersey Township Committee might be close. So the Republican incumbent reached out to every possible voter, including his own daughter, a journalist living in New York City, by sending her a mail-in ballot. Alas, he lost the race to his Democratic challenger by just three votes, and one of those votes came from his daughter.

Baio is now challenging the results, claiming that many young voters used mail-in ballots fraudulently because they didn't meet the state's residency requirements, including, sadly, his own daughter. So, to recap, he wanted her to vote fraudulently until she voted for his opponent. fraudulently until she voted for his opponent. No word about any other young Republicans voting by mail, but we can't wait to see what they're giving each other for Christmas. A politician defeated in part because his daughter voted against him tries to get his daughter's vote annulled. Your last story of a reluctant visitor perhaps comes from Shane O'Neill. Last Thursday, Marion Wells of Bridgetown, Ohio, found out that she was a style icon, or more accurately, whatever the opposite of an icon is. Her daughter, Lindsay Wells,

is a freshman at Ohio's Miami University who started posting photos and videos of her mother Marion on Instagram with accompanying commentary on her mother's sartorial choices. The account WhatMarionWore amassed over 3.2 million followers since it was created in September. One video uploaded by Lindsay shows Marion carrying a purse and a tote bag while also wearing a fanny pack and a lanyard around her neck for her keys. The account spawned the Dress Like Marion Challenge in which fans post selfies with

hats on hats and bags on bags. The account has also attracted ad dollars from fashion brands who want to advertise that Marion would not use their products. Lindsay says it wasn't meant to be mean-spirited. Some people who follow the account actually like the way she dresses, she explained. All right. At a holiday gathering, one of these awkward encounters might happen. Is it from Adam Burke, a man and his husband's aunt get into it over their rivalry and competitive gift wrapping? From Roxanne Roberts, a politician and the daughter whose vote he is trying to annul because she voted against him. Or from Shane O'Neill, a daughter who became

Instagram famous by making fun of her own mother's dressing. Man, those are all three pretty good. three pretty good. Honestly, though, the congressman from New Jersey kind of sounds like that would actually happen. So I'm going to go with the second story. Are you going to go with Roxanne's story of the politician from New Jersey? Yeah. Well, to find out the correct answer, we spoke to someone who had a strong opinion about that real story. Should you find yourself trying to throw out some of your relatives' votes, we highly suggest other topics of conversation.

That was Lizzie Post, who happens to be the great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, and co-author of the book Emily Post's Etiquette, the Centennial Edition, talking about, well, how to handle when your own daughter has voted against you in an election you lost by three votes. Congratulations, Naomi.

You got it right. You earned a point for watching, which she loves. Thank you. You've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing. Thanks for having me. Happy holidays. Oh, thank you, Naomi.

Stay, oh, you will stay warm. Take care. Bye. me. Happy holidays. Oh, thank you, Naomi. Stay, oh, you will stay warm. Take care. Bye. Bye-bye. And now the game where people who've come a long way are asked about something they forgot to bring on the trip. Sarah

Polly was a wildly successful child actor in her native Canada and went on to star in a bunch of movies from The Adventures of Baron Munchausen to Go, but like many, she decided she really wanted to direct. But like nobody else, her first movie was nominated for two Academy Awards. Her latest film, Women Talking, is out now and is already receiving the same amount of acclaim. Sarah Polley, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Your life is kind of astonishing. And I'm going to ask you, start by asking you a question

that I often ask to people who were successful child actors and are now adults, which is why aren't you crazy? It's intermittent, intermittent craziness. Really? It comes and it goes is what you're saying. Yeah. I mean, I think that I had a lot of luck along the way and a lot of therapy that helped. How old were you when you became a professional actor?

I understand you were quite young. I think I was four or five. It was in a movie called One Magic Christmas, which is like the most depressing Christmas movie ever made with Harry Dean Stanton. Well, you were, wait a minute, I'm sorry, I missed this in your resume. You were in a Christmas movie with Harry Dean Stanton? Yeah, it's really, really bleak. Does at any point, are you like his beloved daughter, he sells to buy cigarettes? Because I'm thinking of Harry Dean Stanton and that's the sort of thing he might do it's it's pretty close how does that happen now I know that your father who raised you was an actor but yeah and my my mom was also a casting director and she had been an actor for a long time and was a casting director so it's not like a complete

mystery how I ended up being an actor yeah Yeah, I understand. There were some, there were some movies that became pretty big that we understand you were almost in. Like, like we heard a strange story about your audition for the lead in Almost Famous. That you, you showed up and Brad Pitt never did. Yeah. So I was actually attached to that movie for a while. I was cast in that movie and I was in rehearsals for it. And yeah, Brad wasn't coming to rehearsals ever. And so then I ended up quitting. And so I actually, right after I quit that movie, it led to me making my first short film of my own as a director.

So it ended up being kind of a pivotal decision for me and a very good one. I have a bunch of questions. First of all, you're cast in the movie and Brad Pitt is cast in the movie and Brad Pitt simply never shows up?

I mean, I think he was busy. I think he had just met Jennifer Aniston, I believe. So, you know, I give him a pass. We've all been, we've all, we've all been in the throes of first love, but usually people show up to be in movies they've agreed to star in, in my experience. Not personally.

I don't know. Yeah. This latest movie, Women Talking, we understand arose from your pandemic book club. It was was okay. It was my, in my book club, which is not just a pandemic book club, but yes, somebody in my book club took me aside one day and said, I know what your next film is and described the book to me. And I'd always been a huge fan of the author, Miriam Taves. And I ran out and got the book and knew immediately I wanted to direct it. And I hadn't directed anything in around 10 or 11 years. I have three little kids. I'd had a concussion that

lasted on and off for three and a half years. There were a million reasons why I wasn't going to make a film again. And this, this book just motivated me to want so desperately to make another film. Wow. Now, one last question about the movie. So I'm watching the movie. I'm enjoying the movie, if that's the right word, for such an intense experience. The movie is over, and I'm seeing the credits, and one of the producers is Brad Pitt. Yeah. So he showed up.

I have an interesting thing to tell you. Please. I did not talk to Brad Pitt at all on this movie. So this is his company, but Dee Dee Gardner was my main producer and Jeremy Kleiner was involved. But I actually had no interactions with Brad Pitt once again. Right. So 20 years later, and you're still waiting for Brad Pitt.

But clearly he's realized every time he doesn't show up, it's great for her career. It really is. The movie is getting, like I said, a lot of, as they say in the business, buzz about the awards season. Are you excited about that, or do you dread it? I mean, I don't take award stuff too

seriously but i'm just trying to enjoy it all like a shiny toy and not be too devastated when it gets taken away you seem very healthy i mean i mean like really normal are you sure you can't see me like i could i could look like a complete wreck right yes you could be like you could be full-on norma desmond i wouldn't know i could be like in a miss haversham like yellowed wedding dress that's true you could still be in your costume from almost famous waiting for brad pitt to show up at long last did you know i didn't know right now cobwebs on your 60s style sundress. That would be...

Oh, it's pretty accurate. Well, Sarah Polly, it is really a joy to talk to you. We have, in fact, though, invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling Sarah Polly Wanna Cracker. Nice. Yeah. You did just say nice, right? I did. You did. Okay. Yes. As you figured out, Sarah Polly won a cracker? Yeah. You did just say nice, right? I did.

You did. Okay, yes. As you figured out, Sarah Polly, we're going to talk to you about parrots. We'll ask you three questions about that pirate's best friend. Answer two out of three correctly. You'll win a prize for one of our listeners. Chioki, who is Sarah Polly playing for? Deborah Lee of Seattle, Washington.

All right. Here's your first question. During the filming of the 1967 classic Dr. Dolittle, of course a movie filled with animals, a parrot halted production of the film several times. How? A, it was obsessed with a zebra and kept landing on its head. B, it kept attacking star Rex Harrison to establish dominance. Or C, it learned to yell cut, and the crew kept mistaking it for the director. I feel really confident about B. No, it was actually C.

It kept yelling cut. Oh, that's good. Learned how to say it. The crew kept mistaking it for the director. The parrot went on to have a three-picture deal with Parrot. You have two more chances here. Here's your next question. A PR person for a

1933 Mae West movie thought it would be a great advertisement to teach 50 parrots to say the name of the movie. Unfortunately, promotion failed after what happened. A. Five parrots escaped to a Catholic church where they would call out the name

of the movie, It Ain't No Sin, while the priest was giving confession. B, the parrots kept attacking Mae West to establish dominance. Or C, the movie changed names at the last minute, leaving the agency with 50 parrots screaming the wrong title. Okay, I have to have faith in B again because I had so much confidence before. I like B so much. All right, so you chose...

I like your spirit, Sarah Polly. So you chose... In the prior question, you chose B, that the parrot was attacking Rex Harrison to establish dominance. But now you're confidently going for the idea that 50 parrots attacked Mae West to establish dominance.

Sarah, Sarah Roxanne here. Peter clearly admires and is enjoying talking to you, and now he's desperately trying to give you hints. I actually think he's just trying to establish dominance. Okay, C. C, yes, it's C. There you go. We changed the title.

The 50 parrots were released into the wild, shouting it ain't no sin. All right, if you get this last one, you win. So President Andrew Jackson was a parrot owner, and his beloved and loyal pet bird even attended President Jackson's funeral. Unfortunately, the bird was removed from the funeral after it did what? A, kept hitting

on the white doves they were planning to release. B, refused to stop yelling swear words, all of which it had learned from President Jackson. Or C, it kept attacking Andrew Jackson's corpse to establish dominance. I want to vote for C.

I have to be right about this. Ladies and gentlemen, one thing we've learned about Ms. Polly is she goes her own way. Yes, I just want to be right once. Conversely, I'm going to ask you to make your final choice. What's it going to be? I'm impressed by my ability to destroy this game completely. I've heard it a thousand times.

Like, I didn't know it would be destroyed like this. Okay, I'm going to say A. You're going to say A. No, it was, of course, it was B. The parrot kept swearing, much like you just did, at the funeral, and they had to remove the parrot. Oh, I'm sorry, Debra Lee. Don't you be sorry. Jokey, how did Sarah Polly do it?

Jokey, how did Sarah Polly do on her quiz? You know, I think in her own way, Sarah established dominance. I think she did. And I think we're going to leave it there. Sarah Pauly's new film, Woman Talking, it's out now. I highly recommend it.

Sarah Pauly, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. In just a minute, not one, but two ways to ruin Christmas dinner. And our listener, Limerick Challenge, call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Shioki Ianson. We're playing this week with Adam Burke, Shane O'Neill, and Roxanne Roberts. And here

again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki! In just a minute. Yup, it's the most wonderful rhyme of the year in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a

call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888- 924-8924. Right now, panel, it is time for a game that we are calling Headline of the Year. The researcher Paul Ferry just released the 2022 nominees for his annual Headline of the Year contest, and the competition is fierce. We're going to read you the beginning of some of the nominees. Your job, finish it correctly. Do that, you get a point.

Ready to do this? Here we go. Shane,, finish it correctly. Do that, you get a point. Ready to do this? Here we go. Shane, first headline for you. Top scientist admits space telescope image was actually what? Chorizo. Yes, a slice of chorizo. Roxanne, here's the headline. Man who paid 2.9 million dollars for NFT of Jack Dorsey's first tweet set to lose what? 2.9 million. That's exactly right. He lost 2.9 million. Adam, we missed this story when it happened.

Monkey that was flushed down toilet, fed cocaine, now has what? A three-picture deal with Paramount. No. Now has a boyfriend. Shame. House prices soar in village that is set to what? Fall into a sinkhole. Close.

Disappear under the sea in the next 30 years. Roxanne, this one we will give you two points if you somehow manage to get it wrong. How to murder your husband, writer guilty of what? Murdering her husband. Yes, of course. And that is our Finish the Headline game. Okay, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Shane, there is a worrying economic indicator for this Christmas.

Going into the gift-giving season, sales of giant watts are down sharply. Sales of giant Christmas trees. No. Oh, sales of giant sleighs. No. Sales of, I don't know, giant tablecloths. People are not inviting. It does have something to do with vehicles. Oh, you know the answer to this? I do know the answer to this. Oh, you haven't been on the show with Roxanne before. I'm surprised she waited till you asked the question. No, no, but it has to do with vehicles. Okay, it has to do with vehicles. Sales of giant cars?

Well, there are giant cars. They have something to do with giant cars. Oh, giant bows. Giant bows, yes. Roxanne, no. I got it. People apparently really do buy giant bows

to wrap new cars that they're giving as Christmas presents. Well, nobody you actually know or like, but still. And sales at the few companies that make these giant bows is down 35% or more this year. Not only that, but the giants who tie them all out of work. I think it's kind of lame though, isn't it? I mean, just sticking a bow on top of a car. You want to impress me, put a Jeep Cherokee in a stocking. Oh, it's festive. Don't you think it's festive? Well, if you keep buying people giant cars, there won't be any more snow in about 20 days.

I should say, by the way, I feel I need to step in and correct and say, the cars are normal sized. They're not giant cars. They're normal cars that are more or less car sized that have giant bows on them. No, but I saw one ad. The guy gives his significant other a puppy, and then she whistles, and a truck comes over, and, like, that's not equal at all. Right.

For all she knows, he found that dog. You know what I mean? But now she's got a $300 car payment for the rest of her life. That's, like, I would be furious. Who are you angry at? Oh, everyone. Anyone who can afford a car.

Adam, discoveries at recent excavations at the Roman Colosseum indicate that the ancient Romans may have enjoyed watching fights between lions and tigers and what other animal? And bears, oh my. Not quite. I'll give you a hint. The emperor himself would determine the wiener. Oh, oh, it's like a dachshund? Yes, a dachshund. Dachshund, right.

Excavations have found the remains of dachshunds under the Colosseum, but we don't know exactly what they were doing there. It's possible they were, in fact, forced to fight other animals, or maybe they were just there to provide moral support to the lions eating the Christians. It's like, yeah, get him, get him. No, you've got this all wrong. I think there's two gladiators,

and then one of them just reaches around for a weapon and just finds a spare gat and starts hitting people. The archaeologists suggest, in fact, that it's possible that instead of fighting, the dogs were used for comic effect. They'd walk out with other animals to get laughs, like Dachshunds, the world's first warm-up comics. Oh, I walked all the way from Ostia, and boy,

are my legs tired, because they're so short. Hello? A talking dog, said Caesar. Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. You can see us here live most weeks at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago. Tickets are on sale now for our January and February tapings. Go to nprpresents.org for details. Hi, you're on Web Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello, this is Natalia.

Hey, Natalia. Hi. I'm from Colombia. I'm calling from Milwaukee. You're calling from Milwaukee. And is everything okay there? I can't tell. It's all frozen.

Everything's frozen, I know. Well, welcome to the show, Natalia. Of course, Chokya Ianson, sitting in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. Your job, of course, fill in that last word or phrase. Do that two times out of three. You will win our game.

You ready to play? I was born ready. Hey! Hey! three, you will win our game. You ready to play? I was born ready. Hey! Here is your first limerick.

While mints are most usual handy lane, there's ketchup or salad or brandy strain. The red and white stripes feel the pumpkin spice hype. There's unusual flavors of... Candy cane.

Candy cane, yes! This season, candy canes are venturing into new flavors like ketchup, chili, and clove, and Caesar salad. Who says a candy cane just has to be peppermint? I do. We all do. This madness has to stop.

Multiple brands are in the trend. One company is making savory flavors like bacon, kale, and hot dog. Because who hasn't dreamed of slowly licking a hot dog as it dissolves in your mouth? Why must they ruin everything? I know. Who asked for this? What adorable kid out there is like, mom, this sugar one is okay. Can I have a bouillabaisse one? We learned in CCD that

candy canes are shaped like that because they're in the shape of a J for Jesus. Is that true? I don't know. Nothing's true. What is truth, Roxanne? But maybe this is the J for delicious. Yeah, you are. No, I think it's J for Jesus.

This tastes like Caesar salad. Here is your next limerick. They have knocked Santa off of his sleio because their recipe started to stray-o. The brave Hellman's folks are replacing Nog's yolks with a cup of their old-fashioned... Mayonnaise, mayo. Mayo, yes, mayonnaise.

Mayonnaise. Mayo Nog, or as others call it, the Krampus, is a new holiday cocktail invented by Hellman's involving, of course, their mayonnaise, simple syrup, rum, brandy, cognac, and a scoop of potato salad. All right, the last part isn't real, but honestly, why the hell not at this point? I mean, finally, something I can dip my kale-flavored candy cane into. Exactly. One reviewer said she went to a New York bar and ordered a mayo nog.

She said she was the very first person ever to order it, and it was a big week for her. She was also the first person ever to need the Heimlich maneuver for a liquid. Here is your last one. This treadmill desk is my best perk. During Zoom calls, I grimace and smirk.

Many miles get run while the files get done. That's a marathon finished at... Work! Yes, work! A woman in San Francisco says she walked a whole marathon 26 miles on her treadmill desk

during a work day. It really goes to show how beneficial working from home can be. This woman completed a marathon, and I checked the refrigerator 14 different times to see if anything new had suddenly appeared. It's really impressive, I guess, but it must have been a weird day for everyone else in the office.

It's like, oh, hey, great PowerPoint, Sarah, but why are your nipples bleeding? If I had a nickel. You're not allowed to say that at work, I don't think, anymore. Anymore? Technically, I'm in my favorite episodes of Mad Men and just walking around, why are your nipples bleeding? None of your business. Let's sell some Coca-Cola.

Choki, how did Natalia do in our quiz? With all three right, she is our limerick queen. Congratulations. Well done. Thank you so much for playing, Natalia. It was really fun. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Chiyoki, can you give us the scores? Shane has three points, Roxanne has five, and Adam has two. All right. So that means, Adam, you are in third place. So that means you will go first. All right.

Fill in the blank. During a speech on Wednesday, Ukrainian President Blank thanked Congress for their aid. Zelensky. Yes. Following a Twitter poll, Blank said he will step down

from the company after he finds a suitable replacement. Elon Musk. Right. This week, the Taliban announced it was suspending women from attending universities in Blank. Afghanistan. Right. This week, a kid visiting a mall,ending women from attending universities in blank. Afghanistan.

Right. This week, a kid visiting a mall Santa made sure he would get the gift he wanted when he handed Santa his wish list and also blank. Like a ransom note. No, a $5 bill is a bribe. On Wednesday, NASA confirmed that the InSight lander's four-year mission on blank had ended. Mars. Yes. On Wednesday, researchers at Duke found a potential link

between long COVID and loss of blank. Taste. Smell. Yes, exactly. Avatar Way of the Water is number one at the box office, which came as a surprise to Edie Falco, one of the movie's actors, because blank. She didn't know she was in it.

No, she thought the movie had come out years ago and bombed. Edie Falco, best known for The Sopranos, filmed her scenes for Avatar so long ago that she forgot about doing the movie entirely and until last week assumed, quote, that it had already come out and didn't do very well, which is why nobody mentioned it.

It may be surprising to hear that from one of the movie's stars, but Falco's opinion is shared by the 40 million people worldwide who have seen the movie and already can't remember anything about it. Joki, how did Adam do in our quiz? Adam got five right for ten more points.

That's a total of twelve and the lead. Alright. So, Shane, you're up next. Please fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the House Ways and Means Committee voted to officially make blank's tax records public. Donald Trump. Right. On Monday, a jury in Los Angeles found disgraced producer blank guilty on three of the seven charges against him.

Harvey Weinstein. Right. On Wednesday, a panel of infectious disease experts said that hospitals should stop mass screenings for blank. COVID? Right. According to new data, existing blank sales have fallen to their lowest rate since 2020. Giant bows. Existing home sales. This week, a man in Texas was able to successfully order and have delivered to him a McDonald's cheeseburger with no blank. A wrapper? No, it had no mustard, ketchup, onions, pickle, cheese, meat, or bun. The wrapper was all the driver

delivered. On Thursday, YouTube announced they had the exclusive rights to air Blank's Sunday games. The NFL? Yes. A hospital in France was evacuated this week when an unexploded World War I artillery shell was found in a blank. A hospital bed? No, it was found up

a patient's bum. That's right. It's so many years, but yet we've still found a living survivor of the Butts Creek. Jokey, how did Shane do on our quiz? Shane got four right for eight more points, a total of eleven,

which leaves Adam still in the lead. Alright. How many, then, does Roxanne need to win? Roxanne needs four to win. Alright. Here we go, Roxanne. This is for the game. On many, then, does Roxanne need to win? Roxanne needs four to win. All right. Here we go, Roxanne. This is for the game. On Tuesday, the Senate advanced a $1.7 trillion spending bill aimed at avoiding blank.

A government shutdown. Right. This week, Benjamin Netanyahu announced he'd be returning as prime minister of blank. Israel. Yes. On Wednesday, the outgoing governor of Arizona agreed to dismantle the blank he ordered to be made out of shipping containers. The wall. On the border, yes.

And what's becoming a new Christmas tradition, authorities in Florida are warning residents to watch out for blank. Crocodiles. No, frozen iguanas falling from trees. On Thursday, researchers confirmed another death related to an experimental blank drug. COVID? No, Alzheimer's. This week, Panera Bread caused some controversy when customers discovered their new charged lemonade contained blank.

No lemons. No, as much caffeine as three cans of Red Bull. Because of the company's somewhat health conscious image, people were shocked to find out that Panera's new lemonade contains 390 milligrams of caffeine. That's just 10 milligrams below what the FDA describes as the limit

safe for human consumption. Hopefully this outrage leads to Panera going back to their healthier choices like a loaf of bread you dip into a thick cheese soup that's sitting inside another loaf of bread. Jokey, did Roxanne be well enough to win? Roxanne got three right, six more points. That means Adam is this week's winner. Oh, my God, right? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists

who will be the next big nepo baby to make it big. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. B.J. Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grombos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas. Peter Gwynn is our Krampus. Our intern is Vaishnavi Naidu. And this week we are sad to say goodbye to our production assistant, Sophie Hernandez-Simonides, who we were lucky to have long enough for her to make herself essential

around our office and for me to finally learn how to pronounce her name correctly. She convinced the most difficult people to reach to talk to her on tape and waded through a surprisingly high number of drunk dials to our toll-free line. Thank you, Sophie, and, you know, drunk dial us yourself once in a while for old time's sake. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chalag. And the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, is Mike Danforth.

Now panel, who will be the next big nepo baby? Shane O'Neill. John Fetterman's son, born with an unfair advantage in the world of cargo jort modeling. Roxanne Roberts. After an exhaustive search, X-A-E-A hyphen X-A-I-I, Elon Musk's two-year-old son will become the new CEO of Twitter. And Adam Burke. People are going to be aghast to find out that Donkey Kong Jr. only got into the business because of who his father was.

The real scandal, his father, Mario. And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Gioca Hansen. Thanks also to Shane O'Neill, Roxanne Lovers, Adam Burke. Thanks to our fabulous audience who came out in this weather to see us at the Studio Baker Theatre. Thanks to all of you at home for listening. I'm Peter Sagan. We'll see you next week.

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