Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Shermann 'Dilla' Thomas

Episode Date: February 5, 2022

TikTok Historian Shermann 'Dilla' Thomas plays our game celebrating Tom Brady's retirement from the NFL called, "You're The Goat, Literally." Three questions about actual goats. He is joined by panelists Adam Burke, Paula Poundstone and Tom Papa.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Can you hear me, Chicago? Or do you need another decibille? I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host, on stage at the Harris Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, where he is currently also starring in Annie. As Annie. It's Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill. And thanks as well to our actual live audience here at the Harris Theatre. The Harris Theater here in Millennium Park in Chicago. It feels like our new home. It really does, because as Robert Frost said, home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in because you paid the rental fee. Later on, we're going to be talking to Sherman Dilla Thomas, the guy who became a TikTok sensation with his lessons on Chicago history. But

first, we want to know all about where you're from. So give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi there. This is Gary Stein from Wesley Chapel, Florida. Hey, Gary. Welcome to the show. What do you do there in Wesley Chapel, Florida? I am a legislative cannabis activist. You're a legislative cannabis activist. If I'm not mistaken, Florida has not yet legalized cannabis. Is that true? It's legal medically, but not yet for adult use. Yes. And would you like to list your elements for us at this time? Well, that's great, because you have better weather, but we have weed. Gary, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, the host of the Breaking Bread with Tom Papa podcast,

touring almost every city in America on the Family Reunion Tour, it's Tom Papa. Hello! Hello! every city in America on the family reunion tour. It's Tom Papa. Hello. Next, a comedian who will be headlining the Laughing Tap in Milwaukee March 18th through the 20th. It's Adam Burke. Hello. And finally, a comedian currently on tour. Dates can be found at paulapoundstone.com. Her podcast is Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. Can you guess? It's Paula Poundstone.com. Her podcast is Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. Can you guess? It's Paula Poundstone. So, Gary, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. As I'm sure you know, if you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize,

the voice of your choice, on your voicemail. Are you ready? Absolutely. I can tell. Here we go. Your first quote is about a big international event that's starting up this very weekend. The first event is avoiding COVID. That was Yahoo News talking about what event? The Olympics. Exactly, the Olympics. Yay, the 2022 Winter Games have begun with athletes from all around the world bringing their skills and their variants to Beijing. The COVID protocols are extraordinarily strict at these Olympics. It's not just the usual social distancing masks. It's that every Olympic athlete, coach, and official is in a, quote, closed loop, shut off from every Chinese civilian with their own housing, transport,

and restaurants. The Olympic Village is just an enormous habit trail. Are you guys excited for these Olympics? Because I'm like, oh, it's the Olympics. Oh. Yeah, kind of snuck up on us. I didn't really know it was a thing, but I also didn't know that 2022 happened. Yeah. So I guess it kind of makes sense. It really does. It's like, oh, the Winter Olympics. Can't wait for the long jump, right? You think the Winter Olympics is just like the regular Olympics, but in snow?

Yeah, it just takes place in the winter, isn't it? Well, there's another thing, which is, let's face it, Winter Olympics events are really just, for the most part, various forms of slipping and falling on ice or in snow. There's a ski jump, falling through the air, skiing, falling down

a mountain, and this big air freestyle skiing, that's just falling but making a whole production out of it. Well, because these ones are quite controversial, aren't they, these Winter Olympics? And I just picture someone watching the Beijing Olympics and seeing someone getting crammed into a luge

and then thinking, these are the human rights abuses that everyone's worried about. I can't believe they're making those Canadian women sweep that ice. Terrible! No, it's actually voluntary. Can't they get them a vacuum cleaner? My God. I was excited. We really thought

my mom was going to get to go to the Olympics and I don't think they ended up putting it in, but watching seniors get to their car in the winter. My mom's been pretty good at it. Not totally successful. Right.

A couple crashes, but she would have represented us well. I hope so. All right. Your next quote is from one of the world's highest paid podcasters. I have been accused of spreading dangerous misinformation. That was Joe Rogan, who wasn't just accused of that. He was addressing a controversy that led to many musicians and other artists taking their music off what? Spotify.

Spotify, yes. Joe Rogan has gotten in trouble for spreading lies about the COVID vaccine. So last week, Neil Young told Spotify, you can either have Joe Rogan or me as his principled stand. And Spotify responded, okay, bye. Last time he pulled a stunt like this, we ended up with Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Rogan. Joni Mitchell also announced she was pulling her music as well. Again, principled stand. It's a little weird, though, because we thought she was all about both sides now.

And those two were joined by Graham Nash, Nils Lofgren of the E Street Band, and a number of other musicians whose CDs you can buy on PBS. I called up Spotify. You did. And I said, I'm pulling my stuff. And they said, who is this?

And that's when I realized I might not have much leverage. Is their number still 1-800-SPOTIFY? Yeah. 1-800-SPOTIFY. You don't want to call people and say you're pulling your stuff. Oh. I see what you mean. It's like, hi, I'm Paula Pounce on and I'm pulling my stuff.

It's like, hey, whatever you do in your free time. A bunch of podcasters. This is all true. I'm also pulling their shows from the Spotify service. So I guess you'll just have to listen to the Elizabeth Warren episode of the Roxane Gay Agenda on vinyl. Has anyone else freaked out that it's 2022

and the most influential medium in the world is essentially radio? That's terrifying. Aren't we supposed to have flying cars? Yeah, or that comedians' podcasts are now the most powerful place for news. Where's Walter Cronkite?

Is there one adult left? I guess when Anderson Cooper's doing shots with Andy Cohen on New Year's Eve, we're kind of adrift. That's the next thing Putin is going to do is get himself a podcast. Gary, we have one more quote for you. Gary, here is your last quote. How are you going to go on the masked singer as an

anti-masker? That was somebody quoted on IndieWire commenting on the controversial choice to let whom compete on the masked singer? America's mayor, Rudy Giuliani. Yes! Rudy Giuliani. He left a word out there.

He left out America's nightmare. Right. The Masked Singer, of course, is the singing competition show where celebrities who are too pathetic for even dancing with the stars appear wearing elaborate masks. And when one of those competitors

was revealed during taping just this week to be Rudy Giuliani, America asked, will Giuliani be the first to complete the reality show Grand Slam? First masked singer, then hoarders, and finally to catch a predator. I've never seen that show. Do they sing? Yes. The way it works is they come out and they're wearing... What part of masked Singer did you not... They're wearing very elaborate masks, like really high-end sports mascot type things.

And two of the panelists, didn't they stand up and walk out? Yes. Two of the judges, when they saw it was Rudy Giuliani, that he had... Nobody knows. They're very serious about keeping their identities secret. They were like, oh my God, Rudy Giuliani has been in this show. We didn't even know it. They walked off. They say that two of the panelists walked off, but Rudy disputes those numbers.

Exactly. He says it was 37,000. He says it was manipulated by the Italian army. I heard that the judges that remained at the table after he took off the mask were yelling, take it off! Please, take it off! Please, take it off! Apparently Trump was really upset

about this because he heard that Rudy was singing his heart out in front of a panel of judges and he just thought the worst. Like a bird! Bill, how did Gary do in our quiz? Gary did great. 3-0. Good for Florida. Bill, how did Gary do in our quiz? Gary did great. 3-0. Good for Florida. Wow.

Congratulations, Gary. Gary, thank you so much for playing, and good luck with your quest down there. Okay, thank you very much. Bye, Gary. Bye, Gary. Bye. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom, in an effort to keep sidewalks clean in Sweden,

authorities have recruited whom to pick up cigarette butts? Um, ballerinas. That wasn't the word I was thinking of. Can I have a clue, please? Yes, it's a murder of sanitation workers. Oh, I did hear about this, the crows. Yes, they're training crows to pick up cigarette butts. Yeah, which is very strange because in my neighborhood, a lot of times you see them smoking. Right.

The crows, as you know, are very smart, and they are trying to train these crows to go pick up cigarette butts and bring them back and exchange them for peanuts, which crows really like at this specialized machine. It's only, like I say, crows are really smart. It's only a matter of time before they realize they can do better and start selling loosies. I'm just imagining poor old Tippi Hedren going to Sweden. Yeah. I mean, it does seem crazy. It's like, oh, we've got this terrible problem with cigarette butts.

Let's replace that problem with swarms of crows. Yeah. I'm sure the crows have agreed not to crap all over the park. Exactly. Where is this? This is in Sweden. This is in Sweden, which is apparently a pretty clean country because it turns out that 60% of all their litter

are cigarette butts. The other 40% are lost Ikea Allen wrenches. Crows are very aggressive. Who's going to assume they're going to wait until you're done? Exactly right. Yeah, and then there's going to be a thing where they ask Swedish people to shoot crows. Crows have been attacking people.

So this is an Olympic event? It is now, yes. Coming up, Florida gets even better in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Papa, Paula Poundstone, and Adam Burke. And here again is your host at the Harris Theater in Chicago. It's Rudy Giuliani

in a Peter Segal mask. Thank you, Bill. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluffs the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Jennifer. I'm calling from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Oh, Minneapolis. I know it well. What do you do there? in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Oh, Minneapolis. I know it well. What do you do there?

I write software for a company that helps research institutions comply with ethical guidelines in human research. Are you a Minnesotan by birth? No, I grew up in Vermont. Oh, wow. And what do you think of beautiful Minneapolis? I love Minneapolis.

It's a good fit. It's a friendly town, you know, if you look at it right. Yeah. From inside a warm building, for example. It's a great way to look at it. Jennifer, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Jennifer's topic? Let's fix Florida. Florida. Florida has its problems. Alligators, hurricanes, Ron DeSantis,

but something actually got better in Florida this week. Our panelists are going to tell you stories of someone who had a solution for the Sunshine State. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play? Sure. Let's do it. First, let's talk to Adam Burke. While many people turn to video

meeting services to stay in touch with retired loved ones during the pandemic, for the Teetering Pines independent living community in Pompano Beach, Florida, such high-tech fixes were no substitute for the yearly in-person visit from their kids. Enter ShamFam, a new company based in Broward County where customers can hire trained local actors to impersonate offspring who are nervous about physically visiting the Sunshine State. It was really uncanny, says Teetering Pines residents and ShamFam customer Bethany Crisp. Although the replacement didn't really look

like my son, Hal, he really did get all of his mannerisms and quirks down to a T, including putting his damn feet on the coffee table right after I wiped it down. As ShamFam founder Ellery Finch put it, we're not looking to create an idealized

version of your offspring. We don't want anyone to be replaced. We just wanted to recreate the tactile experience of stroking your daughter's hair while passively aggressively asking them if you can expect grandchildren anytime soon. Sham Fam, a company that supplies substitute family members to those senior citizens who wish their kids would visit more often. Your next story of a Florida problem solved comes from Paula Poundstone. After 10 years working at Disney World in Orlando, Florida, Mike and Jen Schmorrow noticed something about the employees, or cast members as Disney calls them, that play the characters. The ones who wear the giant heavy costumes have less drama in their lives.

This is Florida, says Mike. Almost everybody I know has accidentally lit their house on fire with a blowtorch or tried to rob a bank at a drive-up window. I certainly have. Jen has. Jen nods sincerely as Mike continues. But Jen's a host at the Indiana Jones ride And I work over at the fudge shop

The guy who does Piglet He's never even been in jail He doesn't own a machete It's not just being a character Because Snow White got popped for shoplifting It's gotta be the suits So Jen and Mike started wearing large Heavy hot costumes for a few hours A day just to see

It's unbelievable says Jen At Christmas I'd been Wearing a big pink bunny suit for about A week and I drove past A nativity scene in someone's Yard I didn't even think About knocking it over The discovery that those enormous costumes they wear at the theme parks

have a calming effect on your Florida man or Florida woman. Your last story of a Floridian fix comes from Tom Papa. When Robin Hughes, a teacher in Riverview, Florida, realized her students were having a comprehension problem, she decided that more than books or lectures, they needed the help of a magical snowman. According to the Washington Post, while in the middle of reading a book about snow to her students, Hughes realized that many of them were lost. Children in Florida will often see alligators riding in golf carts and old people twerking in the food court at the mall,

but few have ever come across a single snowflake. So Hughes called her sister in Danville, Kentucky, and asked if she would send her a snowman. On a cold January day, she built a little snowman with blueberry eyes, a carrot nose, two sticks for arms, and sadly, as snowmen have been dealing with for centuries, no feet. As incomplete as he was, she packed him in a cooler and sent him on his way. Miss Hughes said she was nervous upon opening the package. If he had melted, they would call him Puddles. But if he survived, as he did, they called him Lucky.

The students were overjoyed, and now, thanks to Lucky, children in Florida now think that snow comes from Kentucky in the form of a small round band without any shoes. So here are your stories of somebody solving at least one of the many problems afflicting Florida. Was it from Adam Sham Fam, a company that provides substitute family members, especially children for senior citizens, missing their own kids? From Paula, the discovery that wearing theme park costumes is good for the soul? Or from Tom, a teacher imported a snowman from Kentucky so her children could learn about the wonders of Frosty. You know, the snowman sounds like a thing that would end up in the papers. So I'm going to go with that.

You're going to go with Tom's story of the imported snowman. We spoke to the person who solved the problem. I said, okay, do you want to build a snowman? Because I just wanted my kids in our school to be able to see and touch snow for the first time. That was Robin Hughes, the teacher who imported a snowman to show her kids in Florida what that wonder of the world is like. Congratulations, you got it right. You're in the point four. Tom, you're in the prize for yourself, the voice of anyone you might like,

singing Frosty the Snowman on your voicemail. Congratulations, and thanks for playing with us today. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Take care, Jennifer. And now the game where we find people who know a lot and ask them about something else. Sherman Thomas, known as Dilla, is Chicago's biggest TikTok star, and not for dancing, but for historical facts. In his videos,

he does deep but brief dives into the history of the city of Chicago. He's become an expert on Chicago, known around the world. He's developing a show about Chicago history for Netflix. Dilla Thomas, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Thank you. Netflix. Dilla Thomas, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Thank you. Now, we need to establish your credentials. First of all, you are a Chicago guy. You are like from here. Family is like, this is where you're from, right? Yeah, absolutely. Born and raised in Chicago. Been in the Auburn Gresham neighborhood my whole life. Thank you. Thank you. Grew up in a bungalow, live in a bungalow right now. You are absolutely legit. And where did you come by your deep Chicago historical knowledge?

Well, it's the having a cop as a father, right? So I'll give you an example. I would ask him to use his car and say, hey, dad, I want to go visit somebody on 87th and Cottage Grove. He'd say, how are you going to get there? If you said, I'm going to make a left on 87th, immediately, you can't use this car. You don't know where you're going. Right. So you got to say, hey, I'm going to travel east on 87th Street. I'm going to get to Cottage Grove. And Cottage Grove is 800 east on the Chicago grid.

So I'm going to be eight blocks from State and 8,700 blocks from Madison. And so, but then as I grew, you start to get like questions. Well, why do they call this thing Cottage Grove? Well, when Stephen Douglas and them got here, it was along a ridge, right? We kind of did a lot of landfill over there. Yeah. And so that area looked like a cottage to him. So that's why we call it Cottage Grove, right?

And for 25 years, answering for myself, living in library repositories. I'm a Chicago historian. You are. And I love, at least what I've read, is the origin of your TikTok career, which is you have seven kids, right? Yes, sir. All right. And you still have time to do anything else, which is amazing. And I understand the story is like one of your kids, your daughter, wanted to go on TikTok, right? Yeah, absolutely. go on TikTok, right? Yeah, absolutely. At the time, she was eight. And that's a little young for TikTok.

So I joined to kind of monitor her account, you know. So on there, all the father and daughters are going viral, getting a million views for dancing. And so she wanted to do that, too. And I'm like, man, I'm not going to get a million views if I dance with you on TikTok. Right. Because there are a lot of kids, usually daughters, dancing with their dads. It's very adorable. Exactly.

But she's such a cute little girl. I was like, if you explain to the people where Halston Street gets its name from and why 312 is our area code, we'll go viral. She said, doesn't nobody want to see no Chicago history. Get out of my face. And to maintain dominance in my house, I did one anyway to prove her wrong. And here we are. What a great story.

And now that you are a legitimate TikTok star, I mean, is she proud of you? So like when the Bulls send a message and ask if I want to go to a Bulls game, she's super proud, right? Yeah, I am. To maintain during the videos, I do a lot of research. And so then when she wants to do things or sometimes it gets a little annoying, if we're in a restaurant, somebody wants a selfie, she's like, well, they should ask for my selfie because I'm the one that made you famous. Oh, okay. Absolutely. I understand. And it's always a weird question to ask somebody who's become popular but why do you think that you've become so popular even outside of chicago uh i think a lot about that right i try to remove myself out and say hey why is this working i

think for starters right you don't typically think of a historian as a six foot five black dude with tattoos and dreadlocks and Jordans right um so that that makes you stop and say oh wait he's a historian but then when you listen to him you can absolutely tell that not only do I care about the city but I care about all sides of the city right north side south side west side and over east and I'd spend a lot of time doing the research and And so the information is correct and it's coming from a not so standard historian. I think you can bind those two things together, plus I'm from the greatest city on earth has no, that's right. 9 million people in New York are hanging their heads in shame right now because they got nothing. Here's the thing. I was planning on going home tomorrow, but forget it.

So here's the thing. Is it ever a burden knowing all the stuff? Do your friends use you like a GPS? It's like, Dilla, how do I get here? That's been going on before we had GPS, right? Because my parent, my dad made me learn the grid. When I was 13, we had these things called house phones for people

who are under 35. And so when I was 13, my 16, 17, 18-year-old cousins would pull over to pay phones to call the house and say, hey, Sherman, I got a date, but the restaurant is on Huron. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. And they'd give me the address, and I could kind of walk them to where they needed to go. So people would do it then. And, like, now, of course, if I come across somebody's timeline, my friends always, you know, make sure they, hey, I know Dilla, you know. Oh, yeah.

They're friends. You're like, are you like, do you consider yourself now an influencer? I hope not. I want to be considered a Chicago historian, an ambassador for my city, you know, but influencer, no, I'm okay. Yeah. How could there be all this talk and not one mention of Walgreens? Or kissing Bill Curtis on the lips.

Yeah. I was so happy to meet him backstage. It's like on the one hand, I've grown up to just admire his work. On the other hand, when his show came on, you knew it was time to go to bed. I didn't know that. I wonder why all of a sudden you got sleepy when he started talking.

Well, Dylan Thomas, it should be clear I could talk to you about Chicago all day, but we have asked you here to play a game we're calling. You're the GOAT, literally. With the retirement of Tom Brady from football, there's been much discussion of whether he's the goat in football. That is the greatest of all time. We, however, were wondering about actual goats. You know, the ruminant

mammal. We're going to ask you three questions about goats, answer two of them correctly. You won our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Dilla playing for? Audrey Young of Chicago. Okay. All right.

Ready to do this? I am. Okay. Here's your first question. Goats are beloved now more than ever, but in medieval times, they were something to be feared. Why? A, there was a form of torture where a goat licked your feet until the tickling became unbearable. B, women were accused of performing witchcraft by doing poses with goats.

That is the first form of goat yoga. Or C, their farts were known as the devil's hurricane. Wow. That's tough, right? Because, you know, I went to Eastern Illinois University, had like goats. Oh, that's from South Charleston, right? Because, you know, I went to Eastern Illinois University, had like goats. Oh, that's what's up, Charleston, right? And goat fart does. It is.

It's rough. It's really, really rough. Illinois is an agricultural state. You know, dang, I don't want the Chicago lady to use, but we'll probably go with fart as an option. You're going to go with that? It's not a bad guess on our show. And, in fact, by giving you that option, it was really kind of unfair. to use, but we'll probably go with fart as an option. You're going to go with that? It's not a bad guess on our show. And in fact, by giving you that option, it was really kind of unfair. But the answer was actually goat licking your feet.

Oh. No. This is a reported form of torture. We have it in documents that this was used. It's okay. You still have two more chances. Here is your next question. Many places nowadays use goats instead of lawnmowers. But in 19th century Europe, it was common to use goats instead of what?

A, wet nurses, B, boat propellers, or C, taxi drivers. Well, I can't say taxi drivers. I call myself a historian. You said 1800s. That would get me kicked out of my house. I'll go with wet nurses. You're right, wet nurses. And if you think about it,

people drink goat milk, so why not just skip the middleman and just, anyway, we don't want to go on about it. Wait a minute. Why not? People have their babies suckled from a goat? Yes.

And the goat was okay with that? I do not know if the goat's opinion was recorded by history. Was the goat pulling double duty and also licking someone's feet? Oh, stop. It's a goat's life, man. You've heard that. That goat needed a union, really. Absolutely.

All right, this is great. If you get one more correct, you win it all, to the extent that there is anything to win. There is a surprisingly long history of goats serving officially in the military. For example, a goat named William Windsor became the first goat to be named a lance corporal in the British Army. Unfortunately, shortly after that promotion, what happened? A, he ate his rifle. B, he was seen engaging in, quote, fraternizing with the enemy, in this case a Russian goat named Natasha.

Or C, he was demoted due to, quote, inappropriate behavior during the Queen's birthday celebration. That's a good one. I hope it's the last one just flat out. I really, really hope. You're right. I'm so glad I can make you happy. The news accounts we could find did not describe

what the inappropriate behavior was. But nonetheless. Probably something about licking feet. Yeah, probably. The queen didn't like it. Bill, how did Dilla Thomas do on our show? Billy, you got two out of three, and that means you're a winner.

Big winner. Chairman Dilla Thomas is a Chicago urban historian and our city's biggest TikTok star. Thank you so much for joining us. Give it up for Dilla Thomas. Thank you. Bravo.

In just a minute, we trade our keg stands for keg sits in the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paula Ponstone, Adam Burke, and Tom Papa. And here again is your host at the Harris Theater in Chicago, Illinois. He's the cream in my coffee and the swab in my nose. It's Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

In just a minute, Bill is at your door with a singing tell-a-rhyme in our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right, no panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Adam, we recently reported on this show on the groundbreaking pig-to-human heart transplant. Now we're learning even more about this procedure, and we know the key to the success of the operation was the careful medicinal use of what? Like a pig therapist? Like someone who just, who just talks to pigs? Well, considering the pig gave up the heart,

that would have been like a job for a therapist. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, no, maybe it was like a pig priest who gave them ass rights. Certainly not a pig rabbi. The careful use of what? Just... Okay, the careful use of, like, those scissors they give you in kindergarten.

Which is why the incision has, like, a zigzag. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then they sew you up with paste. No, it's the first time anybody ever had to bring a razor and a mirror into an operating room. Oh, cocaine! Yes, cocaine! The operation was a major moment in medical history, the first time an animal heart had been successfully transplanted

into a human who had once stabbed a guy. The cocaine was part of a cocktail of drugs that kept the genetically engineered heart alive during transport. The heart arrived over a very long distance intact and asking for more cocaine. See, I thought pigs were already on cocaine.

That's why their tails do that thing. And they are constantly sniffing. And they never shut up. But we don't know how this exactly worked. It had something to do with the chemical compound of cocaine and why they used it, we don't know how this exactly worked. It had something to do with the chemical compound of cocaine and why they used it, we don't know. Did they, like, sprinkle on it, like finishing salt? And this also explains why the transplanted heart

beats exactly to the rhythm of Donna Summer songs. They actually got salt bae to come in. Exactly. Cocaine bae, they call it. Tom, a woman in the UK left a date before it was over when she discovered that this guy she had met seemed very nice, but it turns out in his home he had a giant collection of what? Human heads.

That's always a bad sign. Total red flag is the human heads. But no, not in this case. I'll give you a hint. Well, you know, it's better than just sort of sticking it under the desk. Oh, chewed gum? Yes, he had a tower of all the pieces of gum he had ever chewed. He saved it.

Wow. And wait, and they're saying most people don't have that? Yeah, that's unusual, Tom. Did you not know that? Yeah, I knew it. Yeah, okay. A woman in the UK went on a date, was having a lovely time, entered the gentleman's bedroom,

and noticed this tower of chewed gum on his nightstand. Wow. Which she said, quote, looked like a garden gnome, and she promptly left the date after seeing it. The story went viral, of course, on TikTok, and it caused an uproar of reaction, all of them negative. I mean, I get it's gross. It could be worse. At least his breath was fresh.

I wonder if when he's out of gum, he just takes a piece off. He's thrifty. Also, why be judgy? He's got a nightstand that puts him above 99% of the people on Tinder. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can also find tickets for our upcoming shows at the Fox Theater in Atlanta, Georgia, March 3rd, and back here at the Harris Theater in Chicago on April 7th. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, it's Randy Kotwitz from Blue Hill, Nebraska. Randy Kotwitz from Blue Hill, Nebraska. What do you do in Nebraska?

I am semi-retired, but I spend a good deal of my time running the local pride celebration in Hastings, Nebraska. Well, good for you. That's excellent. And I'm going to ask, what's the reaction to the annual pride celebration in Hastings, Nebraska? Are people excited about it? It is very positive. As a matter of fact, we just won a grant from Nebraska Tourism to promote it. And we, last year, we had 300 attendees and everybody had a great time. We had not a negative incident. We were very well accepted,

got very good press. It really is a good thing for Nebraska. Well, that is. I think it's a good thing for everywhere, but that's great for Nebraska. Well, welcome to the show, Randy. Bill Curtis is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play? Sure. Here is your first limerick. My apartment has nothing to spoil it.

Go to Starbucks if you want a soilet. While I'm busy brushing, there's nobody flushing. My bathroom does not have a... Toilet. A toilet, yes. Toilets, they have their uses. But aren't they just a luxury for today's coddled youth? The author of an essay in the New York Times this week posed that question

after the only two-bedroom apartment he could find for under $2,000 a month was lacking that particular amenity. Instead, there was a bathroom in the hallway that the whole floor shared. This is why New York is the city that never sleeps. You're waiting until 1 a.m. for the toilet line to go down. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Where are you line to go down. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

Where are you supposed to put your gum? You're still focusing on the gum, Tom. Well, many people, Tom, this is what my grandmother used to do, is you wrap it in the original wrapper that the stick of gum came in for neatness, and you throw it away. That's disgusting.

What? that the stick of gum came in for neatness, and you throw it away. That's disgusting. All right, here is your next limerick. Some more cheese on my chips, please, I beg. I don't care if it drips down my leg. For hot snacks, I'm a sap. So just open that tap. Chili cheese that is pumped from a... Keg? A keg, yes.

If you want to celebrate the big game by having big cramps, the new Hormel Chili Cheese Keg is just for you. It's a hot keg. That is filled. I'm going to finish this. Filled. Well, I'm going to finish talking about it. No one could ever finish the item.

It's filled with 1,000 servings of chili cheese dip. Perfect for pouring on nachos, hot dogs, or straight down your gullet, if that's the kind of mood you're in. It sounds like a great prank to pull at a frat party, doesn't it? Yeah. Chug, chug, chug. Here, do a keg stand, Phil. You'll love it. This keg, by the way, is not for everybody. You can't it? Yeah. Chug, chug, chug. Here, do a keg stand, Phil. You'll love it. This keg,

by the way, is not for everybody. You can't just buy it. You have to enter a lottery to win it, so we wish you luck. But don't worry, if you lose, you can always just take a whole bunch of Velveeta, put it in a coffee urn, turn it on, and wait 10 minutes. I always love when something comes in a 1,000 serving size, because you know that someone is going to call up furious. That was only 998. Exactly. I've been pumping out, yeah. Yeah, and how do you define serving? Yeah, it's going to be one for someone. All right, Randy, here is your last limerick.

Etched in the stone is a scored frame, right by the remains of a board game. After 4,000 years, the rules still aren't clear. We've dug up the world's oldest board game. Yes, archaeologists in Oman have discovered that they believe to be a 4,000-year-old board game. They found it this week. It's made of stone and features grid-like markings and holes for cups. Now, I should clarify, this is a 4,000-year-old game, not to be confused with the 4,000-year-long game Monopoly. Experts believe the game might be a precursor to a game

called the Royal Game of Ur, which itself was a precursor to Backgammon. They speculate the game was created by an ancient civilization that died out while waiting for Jeff to finish explaining the rules. Bill, how did Randy do? Randy was three for three, and that makes him a winner! Nice job, Randy.

Take some pride in that. Well done. Congratulations. Bye-bye. Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Paula has two. Adam has two.

Tom has three. Ooh. All right. I will arbitrarily choose Adam to go first. Adam, the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Biden approved sending 3,000 troops to Europe as tension at blank's border continued to

rise. The Russian-Ukraine border. Yes. Following a ban at a Tennessee school, Art Spiegelman's graphic novel Blank shot up the bestseller list. Mouse. Right. On Thursday, online retail giant Blank announced they were raising their yearly subscription price by 17%. Amazon?

Right. According to reports, New York Mayor blank is considering a run for Congress. Eric Adams? No, no. He's the new mayor. The old mayor is Bill de Blasio. This week, a famous bridge in the Netherlands had to be taken apart, not because of any structural failures, but because blank.

So that they could sail Jeff Bezos' eagle through it. Exactly, his giant yacht. And you heard me when I was raising the price of Amazon, 17%. For the first time in its 18-year history, social media giant blank announced a drop in daily users. Facebook. Yes, on Wednesday, a massive winter storm caused the cancellation of over 4,000 blanks. Flights.

Yes, after reporting that a Belarusian man named Fanu Lanu had been accused of piracy, the Wall Street Journal had to issue a correction because Fanu Lanu is blank. A popular children's character. No, Fanu Lanu is not a real name. It stands for First Name Unknown, Last Name Unknown.

The Wall Street Journal editors just assumed that Fanu Lanu was a common Belarusian name like Alexander Lukashenko. But no, in a statement, the Wall Street Journal editors just assumed that Fanu Lanu was a common Belarusian name like Alexander Lukashenko. But no, in a statement, the Wall Street Journal said, I cannot believe we thought FNU LNU was a name OMG WTF. I also like to think that they caught like one of the most prolific criminals. This guy's been around for 120 years. Faluz in his apartment. Oh, no. Bill, how did Adam do in our quiz?

Very, very well. Adam had six for 12 more points. He now has 14 and moves into the lead. Whoa. All right. Here we go then, Paula. You're up next. During a rally in Texas,

Donald Trump suggested he would pardon a blank if elected president in 2024. The January 6th insurrection. Right. In a report released on Monday, a British civil servant said that blank's lockdown parties were, quote, a failure of leadership. Boris Johnson. Yes. This week, the White House announced a plan to boost screening, prevention, and hopefully treatment of blank. Cancer.

Right. On Thursday, the White House reported that an ISIS leader in blank had been killed in a U.S.-led raid. Syria. Right. This week, a man caught driving the wrong way in a Nevada interstate told police he only did it because blank. He's from Florida. No, because Dale Earnhardt's ghost told him to. Oh, oh, okay.

On Monday, the New York Times purchased popular word game blank for an undisclosed amount. Wordle. Yes. After saying that the Holocaust wasn't about race, Whoopi Goldberg was suspended from the Blank for two weeks. The View. The View. This week, a man in Florida was charged with grand theft after he stole a woman's Blank. Uterus.

No, he stole her driveway. Stole her driveway. He stole her driveway, brick by brick. Yeah. The homeowner said she knew something was wrong. She pulled up to her house and felt this huge bump. She then stepped out of the car and noticed that someone had stolen half of her driveway. Police eventually caught the suspect and have charged him with grand theft,

thing that auto parks on. Yeah, well, before that, he stole her uterus. I should get half a point for that. Bill, without in any way giving Paula half a point for that Bill without in any way giving Paula half a point for that How did she do in our quiz? Well if she got a half a point she'd be winning But right now Paula has six right for 13 more points And has 14 That means she's tied with Adam

Alright Ooh baby That means that Tom will have to do pretty well to win How many right will Tom need to win this game? Only six to win There you go, Tom Easily done Here we go

Fill in the blank On Tuesday, Pfizer requested approval to provide their blank for children under five Vaccine Right According to the Treasury Department, the U.S. blank surpassed $30 trillion for the first time ever. Debt. Debt, yes. This week, the Army announced it would start discharging soldiers who refused to blank.

Vaccinate. Yet. On Sunday, North Korea launched their most powerful blank since 2017. Missile. Yes. This week, merchandise printed to celebrate Queen Elizabeth's Platinum Jubilee instead say that they are celebrating her blank. Uterus. No. Her Platinum Jubilee, instead say that they are celebrating her blank. Uterus. No, her Platinum Jubilee.

Citing a consensual affair, Jeff Zucker, the president of blank, resigned on Wednesday. CNN. Right, mail service in a British neighborhood was interrupted this week after postal workers ate an unclaimed package of brownies that they did not know were blank. Filled with weed. Of course, any package left unclaimed for over a month is up for grabs. So the postal workers were counting the days until they could eat that delicious-looking tray of brownies

that were made with, what is that exactly? Is that oregano? A few hours later, they were all so stoned, this is true, that the post office had to send a sober employee out to pick them up one by one. And you thought the mail was late before. I know. It's all right. They all got their focus and there's

vim back after someone made bread out of that Ziploc bag full of a kilo of flour. Who eats a month-old brownie? Well, you know how it is. It's like, oh, free dessert. Let's do it. I'd do it. It sounds like they were high before they left the station. Could be.

Bill, did Tom do well enough to win? Well, he did get six right for 12 more points, which means with a total of 15, he is the champion this week. Congratulations, Tom Papa. Yay. Congrats, Tom. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the next big surprise on the masked singer. But first, let me tell you, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago

in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Florida Man, Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our social media superstar is Emma Choi. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Nurnbos, Lillian King, and Nancy Sachow. Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas.

Peter Gwynn is a monopeter. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next big surprise

on the masked singer? Tom Papa. Boris Johnson's liver. Yeah. Paula Poundstone. They found documents that showed Rudy Giuliani was never invited to be on the show. And Adam Burke. The singer will remove their mask to reveal the actual second coming of Christ,

to which the Pope will respond, Man, did we misinterpret the Bible. Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Also thanks to Tom Popper, Paul Leposno, Adam Burke. Thank you to Beyond Catering for feeding us today. Thanks to the cast and crew at the Harris Theater and our fabulous live audience here at the Harris.

It's great to see you. Thanks to everyone at BEZ, of course, in Chicago. And thanks to you at home for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. Thank you. This is NPR.