Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Spirit Airlines, The Book of Mormon, and Grunting

Episode Date: May 9, 2026

This week, Double-EGOT winner Bobby Lopez joins us to talk about the 15th anniversary of Book of Mormon, and panelists Hari Kondabolu, Roxanne Roberts, and Mo Rocca say a tearful farewell to Spirit AirlinesSee pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

From NPR at WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. To answer your question, yes, it did hurt when my voice fell from heaven. And Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Sudebaker Theater and the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Stegos. Thank you, Bill. And thank you, everybody. We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Bobby Lopez, the composer,

who wrote the songs for the Book of Mormon and Frozen, and is an EGOT winner twice over, which means that after he's a wait-wait guest, he becomes history's first ever we-got winner. At first, it's your turn to vie for what must be the least prestigious prize in broadcasting of voicemail recording from us. Give us a call at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-4.

It's time to welcome our first listener, this week. Hi, you're on. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. This is Emma Johnson from Redwood City, California. Redwood City, California. Oh, I love that authentic California accent. It's so rare to hear these days. What do you do there? I run operations for a software company, but more importantly, I am proud parent to two young adults, and I just have to share that one of them sign me up to be a contestant on this show, so this is turning out to be an amazing Mother's Day gift. Oh, how lovely. Mother's Day.

Great. That is a lovely thing to hear, and I just want you to understand, we're still not going to go easy on you. You're going to have to earn this, okay? Well, welcome to the show, Emma. Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, he is the co-host of the podcast's Health Stuff and the Untitled Kandibolu Brothers podcast.

It's Hari Kandibolu. Next, she's a reporter for the style section of the Washington Post. Roxanne Roberts. Happy Mother's Day, Emma. Thank you, Roxanne. Hi. And he's a correspondent for CBS Sunday morning. It's our old friend Mo Rocca.

Hi, Mo. So welcome to the show, Emma. You're going to play Who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose.

Are you ready to go? You betcha, let's go. Your first quote is someone saying, farewell to an air. airline. RIP, banana bus. Even though we bullied you, we all loved you deep down. What beloved and be hated airline suddenly went out of business overnight on Sunday? That would be Spirit Airlines. Spirit Airlines. After more than 40 years of offering no frills, budget air travel. Spirit suddenly went on a business last weekend. Spirit customers arrived at the airport the next morning,

to discover that flights were canceled because the airline no longer existed, which, to be fair, is better than spirit's usual excuse. We're a bad airline. It happened for a bunch of reasons, but let's face it, spirit was doomed the second they chose that shade of yellow for their planes. Airplanes should not look like crime scene tape. We lost a great punchline. We really did.

We really did. I know, it's like, wow. I mean, just, Frontier is not as funny, right? No, it just isn't, sadly. Yeah. Now, it's interesting, they, you might be wondering,

well, why did they have to strand people? Why couldn't they announce it? They had to close overnight. So there weren't any spirit airlines in the air when they went out of business. Because all of a sudden, they'd be like rogue planes. Can you imagine that?

It's like, spirit, 45, 6, 2, you are cleared to go buck wild. So they couldn't technically land? Well, no. They had to wait. I mean, what you're saying is like, I think the more the point was. Because that would be weird. That would be weird.

It's like, oh, we can't land. Sorry. Can't pay the fees. So I guess we're up here forever. Is that the one? I'm sorry. It's spirit the one where people were always getting into fights at the gate and the videos that go viral? Isn't that more southwest?

No. South West has cookies. Southwest is classy. Oh, yeah, that's how they stop the fights from breaking out. They just throw the cookies in the crown. They're like puppies. Oh, wait a minute. Your next quote is from a New York Times story

about someone struggling while on the phone with customer service. Would it help if I told you I'm the Pope? So who was that, Emma? That would be Pope Leo the 14th. Yes, that was the Pope. Why is the Pope? So a friend of his told this story, and he made the papers this week, the Pope called his personal bank back here in Chicago from the Vatican,

using his birth name, Robert Prevost, to change the address on his account. He's had a change of job. And the woman at the bank said, oh, if you want to change that information on your account, you have to come to the branch and do it in person. And he said, well, I really can't. And when she wouldn't budge, he said, would it help if I told you I was the Pope? All true.

And this is also true. She then hung up on him. Does the Pope need money? Well, this is a thing. And where does he keep it? This is a thing. Apparently, as part of his humility, the Pope insists on paying his own way

and handling his own affair. So he needs a bank account. He's paying for stuff. He's the guy who pays the bills. He's the guy who's calling for customer service, which finally explains why these days when you call customer service, the first thing you hear is, for Latin, press one.

You never thought about the Pope having to, like, do paperwork, right? You're like, it's a pain. Like, reason for your address change? Conclay? Conclay. Mo, I happen to know that you have met a person. prior pope, was it John Paul the second? No, no, I met Pope Francis.

Francis. And are you... And he did all his banking in Rome. He did, yes. Do you, I know, because Moe is actually involved with the Catholic diocese in New York. You do good work for them. Do you think there's a chance you're going to meet this Pope? You know, I hope so. I mean, I mean, boy, I wish I had been that customer service rep that would have helped me

to get a meeting, but I hope so. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what you'd like to say to him if you do meet him? Um, go with Citibank. Chase has too many things. Yeah. Your last quote, Emma, is about the return of a beloved breakfast ritual. If you've missed rooting around in a cereal box, you're in luck.

So get excited, kids, according to the Associated Press, what are you about to find in cereal boxes again? Uh, are those little prizes that you get in cereal? Yes, toys, prizes in cereal again. Yay! Thanks to Kellogg's, toys are going. Going back into cereal boxes, the idea, of course, for putting it a toy into cereal is, hey, kids, just eat all this cereal.

Eventually you'll get the prize. No kid ever does that. We know this. They just get the thing, rip it open, and stick their whole arm straight in there, large animal veterinarian style. Rooting around, finding what they need. And if you have more than one kid, You have to buy two boxes.

A cereal. You cannot just buy one. Yeah. This is genius. It really is. So what was the thing that walked up and down the wall? Slinky. Slinky?

No, no, no. The wacky wall walker. The wacky wall walker. Yeah. That was, oh. It was very hygienic. Yes. I love that they brought the toys back, but I've always felt that adult cereals should have, like, things in them, too.

Yeah. Like Viagra or Lipitor. That would be. Something. Like something that's useful. Yeah, it's like, oh, wow, I opened my box of Musil. And look, I found a loose cigarette. Well, I was just saying, yeah, all brand should have metamusole, but they sort of do the same thing.

Yeah, a little redundant there. The first toy to be introduced is a novelty spoon. It's a toy story tie-in. I love that they were like, hey, for our first toy, let's make absolutely sure it's something we know a kid eating cereal already has. Bill, how did Emma do in our quiz? Emma, you got them all right. You are perfect. Okay. Emma, thank you for playing, and happy Mother's Day.

Thanks so much. It was a ton of fun. Take care. Thanks, Emma. Bye-bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Hurry, home security cameras can now use AI to identify threats and warn you, like evil stealing packages. from your porch, fires even, but they're not always right. For example, one woman was told there was a bear on her porch, and it was really what?

Scary. I mean, it's terrifying. Terraphone, it seems obvious. It was really traumatic. It was really traumatic. Yeah, no, no. Can you give me a clue? At least it didn't say there was a bear with a big saggy butt.

This woman was told there was a big brown bear on her porch. and it turned out to be a big saggy butt. Give me the answer, Peter. I believe Mo knows. It was her. It was her. No! She was...

No, that's terrible. That's terrible. She was sweeping the porch wearing a brown track suit. Oh, God. She gets an alert. Bear on your porch. Rude ring.

Oh, that's awful. But not all bears are overweight. Like boo-boo bear was nice and petite. Right? Okay, no, it's not nice. It's one thing like you mistake a cat for a burglar. It's another if you're arriving home from a long day at work and you get an alert in your phone from your ring camera,

hey, there's a messy bitch in your front door. You're confused. It was just basically the height and the color. The height and the movements and the shuffling and the fact that she was eating a raw salmon. Coming up, our panelists sing, let's all not go to the movies. Bluff, the listener game, call 1-3-8-8-Wait-Wate to play.

We'll be back in a minute with War of Wait-Wa-W-W-T-W-Tel. Hey, before we get back to the show, a quick plug for a very special event. Now, you may have heard Bill Curtis, our judge and scorekeeper, is retiring from Wait-Wate. I still have problems dealing with it, but in Bill's honor, we are hosting a live virtual event on Monday, May 11th, and you can join us. Bill and I will talk about his time on Wait-Wate, his career as a legendary anchorman, and we'll be answering your questions about Bill on this show. So to get your invitation, just sign up for NPR Plus, and we'll send you a registration link. Signing up is also a great way to support the show and NPR.

So just go to plus.npr.org and watch your email. Again, that's plus.npr.npr.org. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Rox and Roberts, Hurricane Bolu, and Mo Rocca. And here again is your host at the Studio Maker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, and Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Right now, right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff, the listener game,

call 1-Tri-8 Wait-Wate to play our game on the air. Hi, you were on Wait-Wight, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Hillary Long in Santa Barbara, California. Oh, Santa Barbara, one of the most beautiful places I know. What do you do there? Well, now that I've reached a certain age, my husband, and teen daughters like to say I'm retired. So I guess I'm a retired university administrator,

but I am moonlighting for the last several years as everybody's caretaker. I see. And how nostalgic are you for actually getting to leave the house and having a job? Okay, well, good. I'm quite dizzy. I'm glad you're enjoying the lifestyle then.

Hillary, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill? Screw you, silver screen. No, movie theaters, as I'm sure you know, have been struggling lately to bring in an audience who wants like that immersive cinematic experience when you can just watch a movie on the toilet. Our panelists are going to tell you about a brand new threat to movie theaters. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the weight waiter of your choice,

on your voicemail. You ready to play? Yes. All right. First up, let's hear from Hari Kandibolu. 15-year-old Billy Robinson of Middletown, Connecticut was sick of watching movies. quote, why are we watching other people have adventures for entertainment when we could be having them ourselves? If you assumed young Billy was inspired to leave the house and have new life experiences, you would be wrong.

No, Billy decided to make the movies more interesting by editing himself into them. Ever wonder why Jack drowned instead of getting on the door with Rose and Titanic? Now we know there wasn't enough room because Billy was lying on there too. Did Han shoot Grito first in Star Wars? Nope, it was Billy. Or how about Billy's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where he plays all the umpalumpas? According to the owner of the Brunswick Theater,

people keep calling to ask if we have the Billy version of the Devil Worse Prada too. They don't want the normal one. Billy said, I've always felt that Merrill Street was overrated and now I can prove it. In Middletown, Connecticut, people don't go to the movies because they want to wait and watch the Billy Cut at home. Your next movie Meltdown is from Roxanne Roberts.

Faced with slumping sales, last month Peloton introduced its latest innovation, run for your life. The high-end fitness treadmill has a new program that screens Hollywood movies, mostly thrillers and horror films, with an option for the runners to become the lead character. They're connected to monitors that track breathing, heart rates, and adrenaline while watching movies such as Running Man, obviously, Halloween, John Wick, and other really scary classics. Early users report elevated heart rates, more endurance, and not so cheap thrills. Quote, I got so carried away that I had a panic attack and ended up in the ER. But my God, it was the most fun I've ever had. had exercising. I was back on the track the next day. A Peloton version that lets you

elevate your heart rate by watching horror movies and thrillers in the comfort of your home. And your last cinema shakeup comes from Mo Rocca. The last few years have been brutal for movie theater owners with attendance way down. Poor Nicole Kidman did the best that she could, but she has only so many hours in a day to sit alone in your theater. And now Chinese technology is about to make things even worse for owners. Chinese electric vehicles are now capable of projecting full-color movies from their headlights. Wowie, sorry, I mean, Huawei is the company behind this adaptive headlight technology that allows you to park your car and use the nearest wall to watch your favorite movie.

Think your own personal drive-in. I know what you're wondering. Thelma and Louise had been driving a Chinese EV, might they instead have turned away from the clip and flipped on the headlights to watch a proto-feminist classic like Alice doesn't live here anymore? If Stephen King's Christine were a Chinese EV, would she take in Fast and the Furious, Ford versus Ferrari? Or might she surprise and delight us by watching Herbie the Love Bug before committing her next killing? All right. Which of these is yet another threat to the well-being of old school movie theaters. Is it from

Haricandabolu, a boy named Billy whose cuts of movies with himself starring in them are so popular people want to stay home to watch that instead? From Roxanne Roberts, a new version of Peloton that shows you the movies while you exercise, you can get some benefit from that

elevated heart rate, from fear, or from Mo Rocca, a Chinese EV that can project movies through its headlights onto any surface. You happen to pointing your car at, which of these is the real story of new cinematic technology? Oh, shoot.

I'm going to go with my heart, and I'm going to go the movies from the headlights. All right. You're going to choose Mo's story. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone who will probably be affected by the real story. Somebody's going to be driving and being like, all right, let's just project fast and the furious. on the back of this semi-truck

and see what happened. Yeah. That was Ryan Oestrike, the general manager of the music box theater here in Chicago, reacting to the real story with less horror

than I would have expected from him. But congratulations, Hillary, you followed your heart, you got it right. There's a lesson for all of us. You've won a point for Moe just for telling the truth, and you, of course,

have won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose from our voicemail. Choose Bill, choose Bill. I will. I will. Okay, thank you so much for playing. Take care. Thank you. Bye, bye.

And now the game where we ask very accomplished people to accomplish just one more thing, we call it not my job. Composer Bobby Lopez not only has an egot, he has more than two of them with two Oscars, three Tonys, three Grammys, and four Emmys, and that's as of Showtime. With his wife, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, he wrote the songs for the movies Frozen, Frozen 2, and Coco.

And with Trey Parker and Matt Stone, he wrote the Broadway mega hit, The Book of Mormon, which celebrated its 15th anniversary this spring. Bobby Lopez, welcome to Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. So let's start here. Congratulations in the Book of Mormon. Fifteen years on Broadway, that puts you in the rarefied heights of, like, Broadway composers. We're the 10th longest running show of all time. Yeah. How does it feel to be the Andrew Lloyd-Weber of F-Bomb shows?

It feels good. It feels good. I would never put myself in his rarefied era. No, no. Now, if you've never seen the Book of Mormon, I don't know how that's possible at this point, but it is incredibly obscene in the best possible way. And I heard a story. It was actually in Josh Gads memoir, Josh Gadd from the original cast. He says he was at an initial workshop. You were working out the show. show. And he, he, like, read or performed one of the songs. And he actually said to Trey Parker, one of the authors, he said, you can't do this. This is too offensive. People will kill you. Did, did you ever worry about that? You know, I give him this. When you read the Book of Mormon on the page, you know, there's a convention in writing the scripts out where all the lyrics are in all cats, which looks like screaming.

Yes. So when you have the lyrics to Hasidiga Ibuoy filling the page, it really jumps out at a different tone than the music makes it much sweeter. Yeah. And I just want to say to the audience, if I were to translate that phrase, the name of a song, not only would we be canceled, NPR would be burned to the ground. So, yeah. And so the music, were you surprised that this musical about Mormon missionaries with its extraordinary language and themes and sense of humor was the monster hit that it became? We were hoping to run a year and maybe get some protesters.

But instead we became this long-running mainstream, right down the middle hit, which still baffles me. I know, it's amazing. And the amazing thing is, the Mormon church was okay with it, right? They kind of got on board. Yeah, they kind of judoed us. They were like, let's put an ad in the playbill. You've seen the show, now read the book. Are you aware of anybody who came off the streets saw the Book of Mormon the musical

in any of its many iterations or productions and then said, you know what? I think I'll look into this religion. No, but I would love to meet you. out there. Before we leave, before we leave the topic, I understand it in June, once the show comes back from its theater catching fire, the show is going to be doing something called magical Mormon mystery week.

Yes, that's so. We're having Josh Gad, Andrew Rannells, and all of the original company kind of come back and pop into the show in random scenes. And I will get to also be in it with Matt and Trey on certain nights. Really? I think Tray's in it every night, yeah. Trey's going to play Jesus and Joseph Smith every night that week. Wow.

From what I know of him, that's kind of a dream come true, right? I mean, he looks like Jesus and Joseph Smith. That's true. Famously, you are the youngest person ever to Egot, Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony. And you also are the only person, as far as I know, who's done it twice in each category. Sometimes more than twice. And we're just wondering, as the only person in the entire world who have ever done that, what kind of privileges does that get you?

Do you get to cut in line at the movie theater? Oh, let's see. My family, my kids, my kids were very young at the time, and they and Kristen, my wife, got together and made an Egot necklace, like the one from 30 Rock, but out of cardboard and macaroni and glue. Oh, that's awesome. That's great. You can see it.

It's online somewhere. That's fabulous. Speaking of your wife, who's astonishingly talented and shared in your Oscars because she co-wrote the songs from Coco and Frozen with you, she is missing that Tony Award. So she's an ego. She's a big ego. Big ago.

Any tension around the house, or maybe when you're having those spats like we all do, you're like, well. Don't try and get me in trouble, man. I know, but Tony says, It's your turn to clean the kitchen. Yeah. No. No.

Is that tough, though, to, I mean, because you obviously work very successfully with your wife. Does it, like, interfere with, like, your daily life? Do you pause and go, wait a minute. Is that a song? Did we just write a song? Is that a song? Or is it like, you're not going to write a song about this, right? Absolutely.

We are on vacation and we end up, like, running to write something, like, not for any project. But just like we wrote lyrics to the, like our kids loved Harry Potter way back when, and we wrote a whole Harry Potter quiz show set of lyrics to the Harry Potter theme. It was, what time is it? You know what time it is. Time for the Harry Potter quiz. And it went on, I got the whole thing. Really?

Wow. Well, Bobby Lopez, it's a joy to talk to you. invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling. You are 15, going on 16. It's the 15th anniversary of Book of Mormon, which means it's time to start planning for the show's appearance on the MTV reality show, My Super Sweet 16.

That's the show in which America's richest and most entitled teenagers through extravagant birthday parties and then cried at them. So we're going to ask you three questions about that show. Answer two of them correctly. You won a prize for one of our list. Wait, give me a second to watch all those episodes.

Yes, please, do that. Bill, who is Bobby Lopez playing for? Luxem Wong of Gatorsburg, Maryland. All right, here we go. In season seven, as fans remember, Birthday Girl Sky got upset because all her friends were inside dancing, meaning that none of them could see what,

A, her head projected onto Mount Rushmore, which was the venue for the party, be her arrival at the party, riding the same giant gold lion that Katie Perry rode in her Super Bowl halftime show, or see her grand entrance in a 20-foot-tall dress with a hydraulic lift built into it to raise her into the air. Well, that sounds like a girl obsessed with Wicked. I think I'll choose C.

You were right. That's exactly right. All right. My Super Sweet 16 was so popular that it had several spin-on. shows, including which of these? A. Exiled, where the parents of teens who had parties in the show send those teens to remote countries by themselves to see if they can survive. B, B, my super depressing 30 about people realizing they were totally unequipped for adulthood. Or C, I hate them all, interviews with the caterers, waiters, and other people who staffed about

parties. How? They all sound fake. I pick C again. You're going to pick C again. I hate them all. Interviews with the staff of the parties. No, I'm afraid it was, A, exiled. It was a whole, lasted one season. They sent these entitled kids, and as far as they know, they all survived and came back. All right. Last question. If you get this right, you win. My Super Sweet 16 has inspired other creators, including which of these, A, your friend, Trey Parker, who made a South Park episode where Satan throws his own Super Sweet 16 party. B, choreographer Twyla Tharp, who created the dance show called Les Insufferables,

or C, actor Nicholas Cage, who vowed that his own kid's birthday party would be better than any of those parties in the show and subsequently had to declare bankruptcy again. It was A, right? It was A, yeah, Trey Parker made an homage to Super Sweet 16 on South Park. He called the...

maker of South Park called My Super Sweet 16, quote, the most disgusting foul show ever made. Bill, how did Bobby Lopez do in our quiz? He got two out of three, and that's good enough for us. Bobby Lopez is the double Egot winning songwriter and composer of Book of Mormon, which you can see during magical Mormon mystery week at the Eugene O'Neill Theater from June 9th through June 14th. Bobby Lopez, thank you so much for joining us. I'm wait, wait, wait, don't tell me.

What a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye, bye, love it. In just a minute, Bill is going to ruin things for your dentist in our listener Limerick Challenge.

Call 1-8-W-A-W-W-T-W-W-T-W-T-W-T-W-T-W-T-W-T-W-T-W-T-W-W-Raw-E-W-T-RQ-W-RQaeda. This is, Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't-T-M-T-Rews Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Mo Raca, Roxanne Roberts, Harry Kandibolu, and here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill. And just a minute.

Go order some limericks for the table. It's our listener of Limerick Challenge. If you like to play, give us a call at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-2-4. That's one 888-9-24. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Moe, elderly people often have problems with balance, forcing them to use canes or walkers, but a research team in Japan has come up with a better way, simply fit the elderly with a what?

With a Michelin Man costume. That's great. Right? Humatic, cushioned. Yeah, you would never hurt yourself falling. No, it's something that will help them keep their balance. I'll give you a hint. We don't know if they can wag them.

Oh, to give old people tails. Yes, give old people enormous tails. That is so cute. It would be adorable. Researchers in Japan and engineers have developed a three-foot-long mechanical motorized tail called arc, which automatically moves to counterbalance you when you lean over. It also makes it much easier to tell when grandma is happy. So to make them like marsupials?

No, not exactly. The idea is there are a lot of animals like, say monkeys or cheetahs that use tails for balance. They can counterbalance their movements and stay, you know, stable. Oh, so grandma might be swinging from a tree now? It's possible. No, wait a minute. That's the arc of two. They're working on that. To keep the wearer balanced as they move, the tail uses pneumatic pumps to move in reaction to the user's motions. So if you think a walker makes you look bad, just try looking and sounding like a T-Rex with IBS. So here, that is the question.

How do you go to the bathroom? Yeah, I know. Wearing a giant tail. Oh, God. Oh, God. You're there. You're with Grandpa. Everything's going great. He's like, oh, no, grandpa's lifting his tail. Grandpa's getting some tail.

No, no, no, no. Oh, he's dating again? No, no, he's actually getting a tail. Hari, a gym in Denver is being sued by owners of condos in the building above the gym. They say the gym has hurt their property. values because of the what? The stench. Not the stench.

The water from the shower. Not the water from the shower. From the sound. Yes, specifically what sound? Oh, no. Grunting. Grunting, yes. They say that their property values are

you diminish because of the constant grunting from the gym. The Denver gym, that's a gym with weight machines, treadmills, diced ham, green pepper, and cheddar cheese. Has faced constant complaints from the tenants above it since it opened two years ago. Now residents are suing the owners of the gym. They say, quote, weightlifters groaning, yelling, and struggling to lift weights.

That last one sounds suspiciously less like a complaint and more like a sick burn. Residents say they're unable to sleep, enjoy dinner, or work from home, unquote, because of the noise. While the waitlifters say, one more, you got this. unquote. I mean, I'm sure people are having sex in that building and the sounds of sex. The grunting, I guess, from sex next door would be bad enough, but if they were also saying, oh, one more, you got this for me. Very distressing, I think. I'd move. Can you spot me?

You have to wipe that down if you're dumb with it. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but at first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-4. That's 1-88-9-24. You can see us most weeks here at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago, where you can catch us on the road. For example, we will be in Austin, Texas, on June 4th,

and there are still a few tickets left. With more shows being announced soon, you want to go to nprpresents.org for tickets and information to all of those live. events. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't tell me. Hi, this is Bill Valderas in Columbus, Ohio. Columbus, where we've been a few times, what do you do there in the Capitol? Well, I own a data analytics consulting firm, but my family and I are also very active with Golden Retriever Rescue, and we have two adopted Goldens that we have trained to be therapy dogs, and we spread joy throughout Central Ohio with us. Well, that's great. I've always wondered, like,

what specific training do therapy dogs have? Generally speaking, they have to do two things. well, you have to have strangers tell you you're beautiful and you have to be willing to get hugged and kissed by strangers a lot. So those are the single qualifications. Oh, my gosh. I could be a therapy dog. You don't have enough hair. I could be a therapy

hairless cat. So there. All right, well, welcome to the show, Bill. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill on that last word or phrase correctly and two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

I am ready to play. All right. Here we go. Here's your first limerick. Not all tooth decay carries much gravity. Scanty flossings, no moral depravity. So dentists please chill and put down that drill. We don't need to fill every

cavity. Right, the New York cavity, yes. The New York Times reported this week, but just because your dentist said you need a cavity fill doesn't mean you really do. No thanks, Doc. I actually like it when drinking cold water, since searing pain, stabbing into my skull. It turns out that many dentists recommend filling cavities

that can be treated with better dental hygiene. Some say they do this because they can charge more for a filling, but the truth is they just love drilling into your teeth. It's soothing for them. Wait, I don't understand, because a cavity is a whole. Cavity is a hole, but here's the thing. New standards for dental care say that in the very first stages of a cavity can be reversed with better hygiene, right?

Better brushing. What your dentist recommends, again, this is true, actually depends on when they went to dental school. So a younger dentist, the latest, you know, standards, might just give you medicated toothpaste, send you home. An older dentist will grab for the drill right away, and a really old dentist will just tie that old tooth to the doorknob. I here's the problem

I always have I keep thinking like a logical person and it's always a mistake it's always a mistake because if you have a cavity then you have a hole in your tooth

you do and this suggests that somehow that hole will get filled in with just like medicated toothpaste but that doesn't seem logical given the fact that you got eroded enamel.

Right. So we're really giving this a lot of fault. Well, it's not that much thought. It's like, it's a hole. Holes get bigger. Yeah. That's the thought. But apparently,

the hole's going to get bigger, so they got to fill it in. Right. Otherwise, it will, as you say, get bigger. That's right. Absolutely. Here's your next limerick. Wal Luigi and Peach are not scoffin.

What an awesome box. to get set off in. As you've laid down to rest, it is one final quest. Put more stars, wands, and coins on that. Coffin. Yes, coffin. Congratulations for video game fans.

Getting on in years. There's a new line of Super Mario Brothers-themed coffins that you can buy. For yourself or a loved one, they come in bright, red, green, or pink. They can be customized with images of your favorite characters. It's a fun and incredible.

creative way to let all your loved ones know you died as you lived, wasting your entire life playing video games. Your entire lives. Exactly. True. Here's your last limerick. Highland cattle look fuzzy and snugly

and visitors pose with them smugly. We need people to pass, not to stop and harass. So we breed them to make them more ugly? Yes. A British farmer. sick and tired of influencers coming onto his land to take selfies with his beautiful cows

has developed a plan to stop it. He's going to breed the cows to make them uglier. That is a pretty clever solution, but let's ask the big question, why was he previously breeding the cows to make them hot? I don't think I could tell the difference between an attractive cow and a less attractive cow. of cow. Well, there's also ugly cows that are sexy. Like being attracted, like, right, there's sexiness and then there's just conventional good looks. So this could really backfire. So are you suggesting that some cows just have sexy personality? Well, just like some people, like,

Benicio del Toro is not conventionally handsome, but he has a lot of sex appeal. Like, you could end up with a really, really, like, groundbreaking, iconoclastic sexy cow. Or the farmer could Just build a fence, so the influencers didn't come on their pastures. But then we wouldn't be talking about it. This is true. Bill, how did Bill do on our quiz? Bill was on top of it. He got all three.

Very good job. Congratulations, Bill. Well done. Thank you. Thank you so much for playing. Take care. Thanks. Have a good day.

Bye-bye. Now it is time for our final game. Lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players left 60 seconds in which to answer as many Philomble the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Stand back. Mo has five. Roxanne has two.

Harry has one. All right, Harry, you're in third place, so you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill on the blank. After an outbreak on a cruise ship, global health agencies are racing to track people who have come in contact with blank virus. Haanta virus. Right. This week, CDC

data showed that ER visits due to blank bites have surged. Insect bites. I'm going to give to you tick bites. According to new polls, Blank's approval rating has dropped below 35%. Trump? Right? After facing backlash over their new $9 cup of premium coffee, the CEO of Starbucks defended the drink, saying, blank. Cheaper than gas. No, he said, it actually might be true. No, he defended their new $9 cup of coffee by saying, at least it's not a $10 cup of coffee. On Wednesday, it was announced that Golden Tempo, the winner of the blank, will not run in the Preakness Stakes.

Kentucky Derby? Right. On Monday, the head of FIFA defended the high price of 2026 blank tickets. World Cup. Right, this week a zoo in Armenia assured concerned residents that the escaped zebra people were seeing running loose in the streets was just blank. A ghost. No, a donkey painted black and white.

Residents of the Armenian capital of Yerevan were concerned that there had been an escape at the zoo and they saw what looked like a zebra wandering around, but the zoo knew something was up when all of their animals were accounted for. and everybody who called was like, hey, I think I saw your zebra near my house, but its stripes were running. Bill, how are you doing our quiz? Good, five, right. Ten more points.

Total of 11 puts him in the leave. There you go. All right. Rocks, you are up next, fill in the blank. On Thursday, intelligence official said that Iran could withstand a U.S. blockade of the blank for months. The home moves straight. Right.

On Wednesday, a judge unsealed blank's purported suicide note. Jeffrey Epstein. Right. On Wednesday, NASA released 12,000. photos from the Artemis II mission to the blank. To the moon. Right. According to new data, blank prices have risen 50% since February. I'm going to say gas.

Right. This week, a marine biologist in Vancouver rescued a blue heron who got its foot stuck in blank. In a lobster. No, close in an oyster. Ah. On Thursday, NASA said that the Titan rover may have accidentally brought fungus to blank. Mars. Yes. On Sunday, GameStop's CEO made an unsolicited 56. billion dollar offer to buy online auction site blank.

eBay. Right. This week a man in Wisconsin had perfect timing when he blanked while teaching a CPR class. Oh, is this the guy that had a heart attack and then his class saved him with CPR? Yes, he had a heart attack while teaching a class on CPR. Very good. The man who's really gunning for that teacher the year award is the middle of teaching a class on CPR when he started suffering a heart attack, he did recover, but then he had to have 22 more heart attacks so the other kids in class got a chance. Bill, how did Roxanne do? Very well. Seven, right,

14 more, 16 total. She's in the lead. There you are. All right. How many then does Moe need to win? Six to win. Nothing, Mo, here we go. This is for the game. On Wednesday, Media Mogul Blank passed away at the age of 87. Ted Turner. Right. On Monday, the Supreme Court temporarily restored access to the blank pill.

The abortion pill. Due to the increased energy demand of data centers, Pennsylvania authorities are considering reactivating the nuclear plant at Blank. Three Mile Island. Right. On Wednesday, Plank announced

his presidential library would open in June. Barack Obama. Right. According to clinical trials, Mederna's new MRNA-based blank shot is more effective than the traditional one. Coronavirus.

No, their flu shot. This week, the UK version of late-night sketch show Blank was renewed for a second season. S&L. Right. This week, a man in Scotland was hospitalized after he accidentally drove his car into blank. Does haggis come and feel? Into a bog.

Into a peat bog. Into a peat bog. No, not a peat bog. Not a haggis. He drove his car into a wall painted to look like the entrance to a tunnel. Oh. In the most Looney Tunes ass accident in automobile history, the Scottish driver drove directly into a wall because it was painted to look like the entrance to a tunnel.

Emergency workers took into the hospital where doctors are working hard to get the cartoon birds to stop circling with me. Bill, did Mo do well enough to win. So close, five right, ten more points, his 15 is one short of Roxanne, who's the winner. There you go. It shows up.

In just a minute, our panelists will predict, and now that they're coming back, what would be the surprise, hit toy found in cereal boxes. But first, let me tell you all that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, is a production of NPR and WBECC, Chicago, in association with urgent hair car productions Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica, writes our limericks,

our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our ops manager is Jira Vardack. Thanks to the staff and coo here at the studio Baker Theater, B.J. Leatherman, composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dron Boss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwyn is visiting the Pope.

Our visual host is Emma Choi, Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog and the executive producer. A wait, wait, don't tell me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what are we going to find in our cereal boxes?

Hurry come to Bolo. Jesus on the cross. Roxanne Roberts. A little plastic Nobel Prize because all the kids really, really want one. And Mo Rocco. Just in time for the affordability crisis, glow in the dark food stamps.

And if any of that shows up, we're going to have it right here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Haricandibolumol, Mo Rocca, and Roxanne and Roberts. Thank you our fabulous audience here at the studio-dibate for theater in downtown Chicago, Illinois. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Segel. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.