Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - The Alzo Era begins in Austin!

Episode Date: June 6, 2026

This week, we're live in Austin with special guest Elana Meyers Taylor; panelists Brain Babylon, Rachel Coster, and Tom Papa; and new judge and scorekeeper Alzo Slade!See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the man who, for some reason, thought now was a good time to start a career in public radio. I'm Alzo Slade, and here's your host at the Bass Concert Hall in Austin, Texas, Peter Sago. Thank you. Austin, Texas, we have a fine show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Alana Myers-Taylor, the most decorated black winter Olympian ever. But first, we are so excited to inaugurate what cultural historians of the future will refer to as the Alzo era. As we welcome Alzo Slade as Wait Waits' new official judge and scorekeeper. Thank you, thank you.

This is very exciting. But Alzo, now that you are official, you are able to wield the awesome power of judging and scoreheapering. so as you start your reign, what do you want people to know about you? That I am the most decorated black scorekeeper in wait, wait, wait, history. You want to be the first contestant of the Alzo era? Give us a call. The number is 1-3-8-8-8-Wa-Wa-Wa-Wat. That's 1-88-8-8-9-24.

Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, Ryan, wait-wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Jenny Stout, calling him from Salt Lake City, Utah. Salt Lake City is a fabulous place. Speaking of Winter Olympics, what do you do there? I support graduate students at a local university, and I am a busy mom of two kids, but most importantly, I am doing this to honor my late father who introduced me to the show and taught me to love NPR. Oh, that's so wonderful. It's always lovely to hear.

Well, Jenny, it's great to have you on the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week from all. Austin. First up, a comedian and fashion designer whose new fashion project, House Cardi, by Michelle Wolf just dropped. It's Brian Babelow. Next, one of Vulture's comedians you should and will know of 2025. It's Rachel Koster. Hi, Jenny. Thank you. Hi, thank you. Hi, thank you. Hi, thank you. And host of the hit podcast, Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. It's Tom Papa. Hi. So Jenny, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Alzo this time. Alzo Slade is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize.

Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I sure hope so. I've been cramming all day. Well, you have. All right. Well, here is your first quote, and as I'm sure you'll recognize from Alzo's imitation, it is vanilla ice. I don't even vote, so I don't even care. I'll go play for Putin if you want. Warm body, vanilla ice, was one of the few performers not to drop out of a concert on the National Mall

celebrating what? America's 250th birthday. Yes, that's exactly right for their big party on the National Mall. The White House proudly announced the lineup of American music icons like Vanilla Ice and Brett Michaels from the band, poison. Seriously,

it was like they just wrote down all the names from the Grammys in-memorium reel. So is this tied to the cage match that's going to happen on the lawn? Oh, it's all part of the big festivities. The cage match, they've been building this thing on the White House lawn to have a

UFC, basically a cage match. That's going to be on Flag Day, which, oh, by the way, what a coincidence, is also President Trump. 30th birthday. Let me just say this about that UFC thing. If you look at aerial footage of the White House, it looks like what they thought the White House was going to look like when the Obama's were there.

It looks like Breaking Bad Meth Lab house. With the construction of the ballroom that you have seen, it looks very, like Air Force One is on some blocks. It looks wild. It feels like when you're... have a house guest and you can't kick them out and they're ruining everything and you're like, we'll just clean it when they're gone. Right.

Jenny, here is your next quote. It's about a hot new director in Hollywood. He got his start at age nine, posting videos of himself playing Minecraft. That was Variety Magazine talking about 20-year-old Kane Parsons, one of the hot new Hollywood directors who got their start making videos for what platform? YouTube? YouTube. Yes.

He said it. Okay. The horror movies backrooms made by Mr. Parsons and obsession, both made by former YouTubers, are dominating the box office. They grossed over $100 million on their opening weekend. It's so wonderful to see theaters filled again with young people, all of whom had to jump up every four minutes to hit the skip ad button on the screen. It's hard to get people out to the theater these days. Yeah. It's hard to get people to the movie theater to buy $50 popcorn.

It's tough. And yet they have managed it by giving these young filmmakers an opportunity to make real movies. Have you seen these movies, or did you follow their careers on YouTube prior? I haven't seen them, but I have two daughters who are in their early 20s, so I know enough about them. What do you want to know? Did they come home and tell you all about it? Yeah, they're really scary. They showed me the trailer for the backroom ones.

There's a lot of hidden undertones. Hidden undertones. And secret messages. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The directors of these two films are 26 and 20 years old. That's half the age of Martin Scorsese if you add them together. And the director of this movie, Back Rooms, he's 20. And the movie is based on this series of YouTube shorts he started making when he was 16.

He is a good chance to be the first. big Hollywood star to become a has-been before he can legally rent a car. Wow. Yeah. They are talented. I mean, when you, when I, my daughters, they just, you know, I've been waiting for this moment to happen because young people are so into the tech and they're so on top of it. Yeah.

And now that they can make legit films out of it makes perfect sense. My daughters, within 30 seconds of taking a picture, are able to take that picture, zoom, in on my fat neck and make that the picture. Right. That's the thing that counts. Skills. Mad skills. They're going to save Hollywood.

Yeah. Your last quote is an official statement from the Tampa Bay Ray's baseball team. Tarps off. Let's go. So tarps off. It's the hottest thing in Major League Baseball right now. When you hear tarps off and you're in the stands,

you are supposed to do what? Oh, geez. They take off their shirts? You take off their shirts, yes. Of course, taking your shirt off, that's tarps off. What started as a quirky thing among a few fans has spread across Major League Baseball with hundreds of fans at each game,

piling into sections of the bleachers, all taking off their shirts, waving them over their heads. Some people are praising this trend as being body positive, as in, I am positive you guys should put your shirts back on. Because I'm going to be honest with you,

this is an opportunity for whatever male sports bra situation. Yeah. It was a lot of like white man titties out there. Nothing wrong with that, y'all. Does it help the team win when everybody takes their top off? Apparently, yeah, but that's what happened. It happened in St. Louis, the Cardinals game, and these guys started doing it,

and apparently the Cardinals rallied and won. and won, and everybody's sort of saying, oh, is the guy yelling and taking off their shirts? Oh, wow. So the announcer was like, oh, momentum's shifting out, all those aeriolis. The momentum is shifting. They're picking up some steam with those aerolies. After that happened, by the way, the Cardinals manager, this is true,

bought out a section of the bleachers personally and offered the tickets free to anyone who would come and agree to take their shirts off. And you know, manager's season is going great when he's trying to distract everybody. with, look, naked fans up there. What are the women fans doing? Can they do this, too?

To my knowledge, and I'm not sure, women have not yet participated in this trend. Why? Feminism, listen. Feminism needs to step it up, okay? Yeah, they should do, they don't want the team to win. Also, how did Jenny do in our quiz?

Jenny made her father proud. three out of three. Congratulations, James. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you so much, Denny. Take care. Right now, panel, that it's time for you to answer some questions

about this week's news. Brian's summer blockbuster season is here, and a new study finds movies are more likely to feature a what in them than a woman over 60. An animal? Yes, a talking animal. According to a new study,

Hollywood films are four times as likely to star a talking animal than they are to star a woman over 60. People say this is because of sexism and ageism, but maybe the talking animals are just more talented. Maybe the reason they cast a giraffe in the new movie about Eleanor Roosevelt is that it had the best audition. That joke would have had to be so good for this audience to have gone with you. I bet you were in there. I was in there.

I was trying. It didn't happen. I just saw Merrill Streep just shaking her head. I kind of get it because animals have never asked me when I'm going to have a child or told me that I'm getting a little pudgy. So as much as I know that when I'm a 60-plus-year-old woman, I'll want to have a job. I know that maybe it's okay. So you're saying women over 60 are a little judgy on younger women?

To me, personally, I've experienced that at times. But they also deserve rights. I love you guys. I think what you're doing out there is amazing. Don't stop just because it's stressing me out. Coming up, don't forget your sunscreen. It's our summer-themed bluff the listener game. Call 1-Tu-A-8 Wait-W-W-W-T-W-T-Leg to Play.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait-W-W-E-T-L-Tel me from NPR. From NPR. From NPR, Don't-T-E-S chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Tom Papa, Brian Babylon, Babylon, and Rachel Koster. And here again is your host at the As concert hall in Austin, Texas, Peter.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-3-8-Wait-Wait-to-Player game in the air. Hi, you're on. Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me. Hi, Peter. This is Mickey Klunk from Northfield, Minnesota. Oh, Northfield, I know it well.

Home to some great universities. And, of course, the Northfield raid. That's when, if I'm not mistaken, Jesse James ended his careers an outlaw by thinking he could take a bunch of gentle Minnesotans and got his butt kicked. Yeah, they celebrate that every September. defeat of Jesse James Day. I've gone a few times and I've learned, you should bring headphones

because the reenactments get really loud. Oh, sure. I just, I just love the idea of, like, Minnesotans all getting their guns. Oh, I guess we're going to have to shoot you now. Oh, yeah, we're going to have to shoot you on the face. Anyway, sorry, Mickey, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Also, what is Mickey's topic? A summer twist. So summer, of course, has its classic. entertainments and leisure time activities going to the beach, Alfrisco dining, sweating through your shirt, even though all you're doing is Alfrisco dining. But this week we read about a strange little tweak on a quintessential summer experience. Our panel is going to tell you about it.

Pick the one who's telling the truth and win the wait waiter of your choice on your voicemail, including, by the way, I should say, Bill Curtis. Are you ready to play? Yeah, I'm ready. All right. First, let's hear from Tom Papa. Anyone who thinks that using insect repellent will save their summer may want to listen up or better yet stay inside. Research now suggests that the chemical DEET widely used in insect repellents may actually be attracting the mosquitoes. In other words, the mosquitoes are learning through experience that where there's DEET, there's the possibility of a blood meal.

What's a blood meal? you. To a mosquito, you are nothing but a walking, talking bag of blood. Researchers are impressed that mosquitoes can smell deep with their food and still want to eat it, in the same way that humans can stand alongside drunk, sweaty tourists at a Las Vegas buffet, but still go back for seconds. Turns out that mosquito repellent is actually a mosquito, a tractor. A trucee a trawl. A truce, a Your next summer surprise comes from Rachel Koster. After last summer's dangerous heat closed pools across the south, a pool supply company in Dry Creek, Texas,

has taken matters into their own hands. To prevent dehydration amongst swimmers, Susan Daly of Susan's pool solutions, has replaced the water in over 40 public pools with blue Gatorade. The idea to fill the pool with blue raspberry-flavored electrolytes came to Susan after last summer's heatwave forced the pool to close. kids were fainting left and right, said lifeguard Clayton O'Hara. They were going down like dominoes.

It was really stressful, but brought a lot of the lifeguards closer together, he said, smiling at Courtney Smith. There is for sure still chlorine in the water, and the gatorade is making everyone really sticky when they get out, but no one has fainted yet this year, said Courtney. Susan Daly seems unfazed by the potential setbacks of her creation. When asked about her concerns regarding people urinating in the pool, she provided no comment, but she did scratch her head and start texting immediately after the question was asked. Preventing dehydration and swimmers by filling the swimming pools themselves with Gatorade.

Your last story of a swerve in summer comes from Brian Babelow. Matthew Riley, an engineer from Redmond, Washington, came to Southern California to get some sun. He left knowing the exact date his startup would fail. The woman who told him goes by the name of his name of his son. of Miss Molly. For the last two summers, Miss Molly has worked from a folding chair near Tower 14 reading prophecies in the sunburns of strangers. The burn tells me something, Miss Molly said. Mostly bad things. It's summer. Nobody's burn says, great news. Her hits are piling up. A peeling shoulder, that leads to divorce. A burnt nose, that's a shady contractor on its way. A man with a

flawless farmers tan, you get three words. You already know. A local dermatologist said it's deeply irresponsible and also somehow 90% accurate. Ms. Molly asked only two things. Respect the burn and apply aloe after. But she has one rule. She will not read her own back. She caught a glimpse of her back in the mirror one time and she quietly said some futures aren't yours to look at. So which of these was an unusual twist we found on a summer standard in the news? Was it from Tom Papa, the amazing discovery that all that mosquito repellent we put on actually is attracting the mosquitoes? From Rachel Koster, a woman who's devised a way to keep people from getting dehydrated

at the pool by filling the pool itself with Gatorade or from Brian Babylon, a psychic in Venice Beach, California who can accurately tell your friends. future just from your sunburn. Which of these is the story of summer we found in the news? I think I'm going to go with the first one. You're going to go with the first one. Tom's story about all that mosquito repellent, actually attracting the mosquitoes. All right, that's your choice. We spoke to someone who is very familiar with the real story. I think we can safely say that mosquitoes are smarter than perhaps some people give them credit for. That was Nicola Davis. She is a science correspondent at The Guardian talking about mosquitoes.

actually coming to love your bug spray because it means you're available. Congratulations, Mickey. You got it right. You figured out that Tom was selling the truth. You've been the point for Tom, and of course you have won our prize, the voice of anyone you may choose from our show. Congratulations, Mickey. Thank you.

Thank you so much for playing with us today. I know. Take care. Yay, Mickey. And now the game we call Not My Job, Alana Myers-Taylor was a star on her collegiate softball team but didn't make the woman's national team. So she decided, as many ball players do, to move to bobsledding instead.

Turned out to be a good choice. As over five different Winter Olympics, she became the most decorated American bobsledder ever. She lives now right here in Austin with her family, and we are delighted. Myers-Taylor, welcome to wait, wait. You came out wearing your gold medal here on stage. Do you like just wear it around wherever you go?

You know, only when I want to be. I'd pull something on my husband, you know, tell him you've got to take out the garbage or anything, then you pull it out. And you're like, there you go. Pull in rank. Pulling rank. So, Alana, we had you on the show in 2022 back in the pandemic. At that time, you were living in Georgia.

The other thing that happened since last we spoke to you was that you went on to the 2026 Olympics in Milan, Cortina in Italy, and you became the gold medalist in the new sport of Monobob. Right? And I think I speak for all of your fans here in Austin and internationally when I say, What is a Monobob? So Monobbub, Bob's traditionally had the two-person and the four-man disciplines. Monobobob is just a single person in the sled.

So we push, run, jump in, and then we're in charge of navigating it all by ourselves. So no help this time. Did it start because people got tired of their teammates on the... They're like, you know what, I'll get you guys. I'm on a monobot that's... What's amazing is... So Bob sledding has been around for a long time, over a century, right?

and it took this long to figure out, well, maybe just one person could do it themselves? Because we discussed this the last time you were in the show. The other people, either the one pusher or the three, depending, all they do is push the sled, which is important. And then they get in and do nothing. Yep, do nothing. Preferably. Preferably. If they do something, something has gone desperately wrong.

And speaking as a driver, you're happy to be rid of that worry? Yeah, no backseat drivers. You don't have to worry about anybody. I've got you where to go. It's nothing worse for you're like in a run that could get you the championship in like one of your pushers. Like, can we stop? I got to use the bathroom. Just the worst.

It's absolutely the worst. The other thing I found out about you since last we spoke to you is that you were one of the first elite athletes to compete against, I should say, the first female elite athlete to compete against men in a straightforward competition. Can you tell me when that happened and what exactly that was? Yeah. So as I mentioned earlier, women have only had two disciplines. There's a two man and the four men. and women have only been able to compete at the Olympic level in the two-person. So they finally allowed us to compete in the four-person, and I was like, yes, let's do this.

Let's get another shot to win an Olympic medal, and I competed in a four-man discipline actually with my husband. So I was the first woman to make the U.S. men's national team in a four-man sled with my husband. So it wasn't just women against men. It was women and men against women and men. It was like whatever mixture people found to be most effective for their team. It could have been a mixture, but it was largely woman pilots with a male crew behind them and then competing against men. Really? Oh, wow.

I'm going to, a lot of stereotypes come to mind. Did the men who were pushing kind of want to drive? No, they were pretty happy for me just to be behind me and just to support me, and I think it helps when your husband's back there. He's going to keep them in line, so. Really? That's right. And I've seen your husband, he's pretty swole. Yeah, strength and conditioning coach.

He doubles as my bodyguard too. Yeah, right. But that's an amazing date night, though. Hey, like, babe, let's go ahead and get this metal right quick. You know what I'm saying? You go to, you know. That's what I was thinking. Like, do you just get dressed in the outfits just for fun?

No, but it is the perfect date night because you can't bring the kids. So, you know, kids can't be in the sled. So, you know, it's me time. Is there? Us time. Is there beef between mono bob and like the luge people? Is it like, is it sort of like the Jets and the Sharks? Like Luge versus Monobb?

No, actually, we get along with Lusiers really well. Lusers. Lusers like, losers, yes. Lus is like the country club of sports and Bob slides more more blue collar. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I didn't even, hold on. Sorry, no.

Okay. So you mentioned you had kids. You and your husband have two kids, growing up raising them here and all. Austin. In fact, you, is it right that you won one of your gold medals at one Olympics while you were pregnant? Yes. Yep. Didn't know it at the time. So the bobsled have five people? In a way, it was the worst five-person bifled. It was a two-person bobsled, but yes, technically you had three people. And I know it's rather difficult to do here in Austin, but have you ever taken your

kid sledding? Haven't taken them sledding, but the nanny has. Not in Austin, but the nanny's Very lusie. Oh, yeah. Very lusie. Lusie and boosy. I can't just be on a normal sled. Like, I have a bobsled. I can't just be on a radio flyer.

That's really? Yeah, that's what losers. You don't think you could do that? Yeah, no. I'm not getting behind any sled. I'm not driving. Fair enough. Do you ever get free food if you wear your metal?

Well, actually, when you were with us before, you told us that when your first gold medal, which was in the, I want to say, the 2010 Olympics? Yes, bronze. You won a bronze medal, and you were like, you were so young and hungry and I guess maybe thinking that was impressive. Remind us if that worked. It did work. It did work.

That's great. Got a free frosty at Wendy's. So you're a much more established. You're a legend in the sport, a record setter. Do you still try that? Haven't tried it because I think the stigma with the gold medal is people think you can pay for a meal So they expect you to pay for a meal and they expect you to tip well so no more free food Oh yeah, I put that gold medal away room

Oh yeah You take off the gold you take out the old bronze so you can get you know Do you ever you wear it to the gym so people get off the equipment for you? That's a good good try but I definitely will try that because that will be usually there's a lot of lines I train in public gyms trained in the local rec club. So there is always a wait for gym equipment, so I definitely need to try that. Not anymore.

Well, Alana, it is great to have you with us again, and this time we've asked you here to play a game. We're calling slitter meet slider. So you are a champion of the sliding sports. We thought we'd ask you about the original slider, White Castle, hamburgers. Answer two to three questions. You will win our prize for one of our listeners,

the voice of anyone they may choose in their voicemail. Are you ready to play? Let's go. All right. Alzo, who is Alana playing for this time? Crystal Craig right here in Austin, Texas. That's very exciting. And I just want to ask that.

I know you're competitive, but I also know you're used to routines. Would you like to do this competition with your husband crouching behind you? Yes. Okay. He's way better at trivia than I ever think. Okay. Well, here we go. So, here's your first question.

When the first White Castle restaurant opened in Wichita, Kansas in 1921, the founders wanted to establish with the potential customers a very specific reputation. They wanted to be known as what? A, the most pro-monarchy restaurant, be the restaurant with the world's smallest food, or C, the most sanitary restaurant in town. Oh, gosh. I really haven't been to White Castle in a long time, so I'm going to go. go with sea. You're right. That was the thing. This was only a few years after Upton Sinclair's book The Jungle had come out, nobody wanted to eat ground beef. They were afraid of what was in it. So the white walls and the stainless steel of the White Castles were supposed to assure you of its cleanliness.

Here's your next question. Once a year, White Castle goals all out to celebrate a particular holiday, which is it? A, in December, they offer the meat menorah where you can get eight sliders. One for each night of Hanukkah. B, on Valentine's Day, White Castle becomes Love Castle, a fine dining restaurant complete with tablecloths, candles, and romantic music, with which you can enjoy your meal.

Or see, on Halloween, one in ten burgers has a razor blade hidden. Well, since I heard a couple of cheers for B, I'm going to go with B. That's right. The Love Castle. This is a huge thing. Tens of thousands of people show up. at White Castle for Valentine's Day.

You can also get the discounted sloppy Joe six-packs for some reason. Here's your last question. You go for perfect as you have been in pretty much everything else. White Castle has innovated to keep up with modern times, as in which of these? A, thanks to a partnership with Vitamix, you can now get any White Castle burger as a smoothie. B, 100 locations will soon have their burgers flipped by a short- order cook robot named Flippy

or C, they're catering to Botox enthusiasts by promising quote, we're sure there's botulism in our food. All those are real possibilities? I will agree that they are possibilities.

Okay. We'll go with B. Yes, Flippy the Robot. Pretty soon your White Castle Burger will be uncouched by human hands until it arrives in yours. Also, how did Alana do in our quiz? She gets a wait, wait, wait, don't tell me.

Gold medal, three out of three. Lana Myers-Taylor is a six-time world champion, Bob's letter, who won gold at this year's Olympic Games in Milan. Alana Myers-Taylor, thank you so much for joining us here on Waitwee. In just a minute, we finally find the Hidden Valley in our listener, Limerick Challenge. Call 1-8-8-Wight-Wight to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, from NPR.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Brian Babylon, Tom Papa, and Rachel Koster. And here again is your host at the Bass Concert Hall in Austin, Texas, Peter Sago. We find out if Alzo was lying when he put Ph.D. in Limericks in his resume. It's our listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-4.

That's 1 888-9248-924. Right now, a panel some more questions for you from the week's news. Rachel, ClubMed is about to open its first ever beach resort on the coast of South Africa, but there's one little problem. They have to figure out a way to keep what away from their guests? Um, the history. You can't, you can't men and black your way out of this one. No, no, no.

Sorry. No, no. I'll give you a hint. At this resort, Jaws isn't just a movie night. Sharks. Yes, sharks is the answer. Man-eating sharks. This will be the very first club med beach resort on the coast of South Africa,

and that's because the coast is home to three different species of man-eating sharks. And also explains the new resort's ad campaign, wake up to beachside yoga, then a surfing lesson, then survivors have a drink by the pool. I think that the sharks that are there should be able to stay there and not be pushed away. Well, that's, in fact, what's going on is they're like,

okay, these sharks are here trying to open this beach resort. A lot of people saying, well, you shouldn't do that. In fact, a lot of people are saying, you just let the sharks alone. In fact, there is one proposal to put up a shark net, right? But environmentalists say, no, that doesn't work. Those nets, they just kill other endangered species. And sometimes the sharks get stuck inside the net.

Which makes it more angry. Right. So then the sharks are like, well, I bet we're basically. we're in prison now, but at least the food's good. They're seeing a club med sign. All you can eat. Yeah, pretty much. All-inclusive.

Rachel, great news if you're jealous of the Amish. This week we heard about a new concept where people are encouraged to take a rumspringer after what? Can I please have a hint? You may. College, just college. I'm sorry, you're saying... College, high school.

After college, after high school, no, no, that's fairly typical. After their first year at their internship. No. Sometimes you need to take a load off after... It's that kind of thing. It's after their first thing, but that thing usually ends unexpectedly, or not what they wanted it to happen. A divorce.

Yes, divorce. You got it. Sorry. A writer in the cut is recommending anyone who is recently divorced to take a divorce rum spring a quote unquote, where you do whatever you want for a while after your divorce. It's a groundbreaking idea. People normally are so measured and regular after a divorce. I think that the Amish teach a valuable lesson, but it should just be that after a divorce, just turn your own butter. Do something kind of simple, knit all your clothing. You don't have to

be a slut at 55. Just make a bunch of butter for your toast that you bake on your own. It's simple and then your kids won't have their hearts broken again. That was deep. That was a beautiful story. That was sort of taking a moment to sort of. To feel for you. Yeah. That was really nice.

Yeah. But really, they're just slapping a kind of fun label on something we all know people do and they shouldn't. It's like, yeah, you're not taking a sabbatical for personal growth. You just didn't go to work for a year. Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where we have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-4. That's 1-8-8-8-2-4. You can catch us most weeks back at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago,

or come see us on the road. We'll be at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee in July 9th, and in Sonoma County in Northern California on July 30th. For tickets and info to all our live events, go to NPRPresents.org. Hi, Your Honor, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Sebastian calling from Menden, Vermont. Menden Vermont. Okay, what do you do there? I am a student success advisor at Vermont State University's Castleton campus, and as of 16 days ago, I am a new father.

Whoa! How do you have time to like call into radio shows? I have a wonderfully supportive partner and wife who knows this is a lifelong dream of mine, and so she's making this possible for me. Wow, that is lovely. Wow. That's a love language. Well, congratulations, Mazel Tov, and welcome to the show. Sebastian, you're going to play our Limerick Challenge,

Alzo Slade, for the first time as our official judge, Scarekeeper, and Limericist, Limerick Reader. He's going to read you three news-related Limerick's with the last word or phrase, missing your job, fill that in. Two times out of three, do that. You will win our prize. You ready to go? I am ready. All right. Here is your first Limerick.

Alzo? To Wu, Byers, for home. our plot thickens. They see country life their pulse quickens. Their interest is spurred with egg-laying birds. We are selling new homes

with some... Chickens. Yes, chickens. Luxury homes are now being sold with chickens and chicken coops included. You can instantly live

the Instagram fantasy of gathering your own sustainable eggs from your chickens for breakfast and then in the afternoon euthanizing them when they all get bird flu.

Chickens are fun. Do you have chickens? Have you had chickens? No, I never had chickens, but I grew up in New Jersey, and my dad would take us into the city to see a thing called the dancing chicken, and it was in an arcade booth, and there'd be a chicken in there, and you put a quarter in, and they'd play music, and the chicken would start to dance. When did you grow up, 1926? I mean, oh, come see the dancing chicken.

That was a fun time for the Papa family until we found out that the quarter actually turned on the music and also electrified the floor. No. Yeah. And we cried all the way home to New Jersey. Yeah. Yeah.

I wonder what that chicken's doing now. Here is your next limerick, Sebastian. There's a calendar Rome has released a frock-wearing, good-looking beasts. With collar and stole, they're just acting a role. The models they used are not... Priests? Priests, yes. This week, we were shocked to learn

that the guy in the cover of the famous sexy priest calendar on sale and shops all over Rome, Italy, is actually not a priest. He's just a regular guy. Well, he's not regular. He's hot. So this calendar in question, you've seen them if you've been to Rome, it's come into the spotlight because people have discovered that several of the 12 priests in it are not actually members of the clergy. It sounds like somebody had the idea, of course, do one hot priest for every month, and they ran out of real ones by the time they got to February.

But I'm curious on who's into like sexy priest calendars? I can tell you exactly who. Tell me. A guy just having a job and believing in something is honestly kind of awesome. I think it would be cute to have like a mix of hot priests but then like fun priests, you know? Yeah. Like a personality priest. Yeah, like playing baseball or riding a little pony.

Yeah. All right, Sebastian, here is your last limerick. In Europe, they're going to blanche at our buttermilk sauce avalanche. we will shower the blessing of creamy white dressing. We are preaching the gospel of Ranch. Ranch, yes, this week. Hidden Valley Ranch announced they were hiring two ranch dressing ambassadors whose job would be to travel around Europe to promote ranch dressing

America's number one cultural export. Peter, this is, as you know, I live in Europe like four months out of the year. Every time I go to Europe, I take some sweet. which is sweet blunts and some ranch dressing in my suitcase every time. Because they don't have ranch over there. They don't have ranch. They'll have, like, dairy creamers. So I have, like, American poison stuff in my suitcase every time.

It's a weird thing to say I live in Europe four months of the year and I love ranch. Yes. You're a very interesting character. I'm interested, Doug. I love ranch dressing. I just worry about when the war with Europe starts and we have to pull our ranch. ranch basseters from the ranch embassy. Alzo, how did Sebastian do in our quiz?

Sebastian, the new father can celebrate because he has a perfect score, three out of three. Yeah. Yeah, congratulations. Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much for playing, Sebastian. Take care. Thank you.

It was a dream come true. Bye, Bob. Now on to our final game, Lightning, fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores? Sure thing. Rachel and Brian are tied up at two.

Tom Papa in the lead with three. Okay. So that means Rachel and Brian are tied. Let's say, Brian, why don't you go first? Okay. On Thursday, several passengers of the cruise ship that had a blank outbreak left quarantine. Hanover virus. Honda virus, that's right. Following voting on Tuesday, Karen Bass advanced to a runoff in the race for mayor of blank.

Los Angeles. Right. This week, a cop in Chicago was caught blanking while unpaid medical leave for a knee injury. Bike riding. No, going horseback riding, lifting five bales of hay and moving a 1,200-pound dumpster. I can't believe you didn't get that one. This week, the San Antonio Spurs in New York Knicks faced off in the first two games of the blank finals. NBA finals. Ride on Thursday, scientists said intense solar storms may mean that the blanks could be visible from 23. All the solar flares. Yeah, the northern lights, we'll give that to you. This week authorities are warning people to not throw their old car batteries in the trash because they keep blanking.

They keep exploding. Not quite. They keep making the garbage trucks explode. Oh. Wow. See, the chemicals inside your car battery, totally safe. They will not catch fire or explode unless, of course, you were to squeeze them in a powerful hydraulic press surrounded by a bunch of garbage.

Wow. So exploding. How'so, how did Brian Babylon doing our quiz? He did all right. He got four right for eight points, total of ten and the lead. All right. Very good. Rachel, you're up next, fill in the blank.

On Wednesday, the House voted to block the administration from ordering more strikes against blank. Iran. Right on Monday, Trump named a man with no background in intelligence to be the acting director of blank. FBI. CIA. So, I don't know.

National Intelligence Director. This week, paleontologists in China discovered another species of blank. Dinosaur. Right, on Tuesday. Analyst said that the $75 billion IPO for private space company, Blank, would be the largest in history. SpaceX? Right. This week, Alaskan Senator Dan Sullivan learned he'd be facing off against a man named Blank in the Republican primary.

Grizzly bear. No, a man whose name is also Dan Sullivan. On Monday, Martin Scorsese faced backlash after saying he supported the use of blank during pre-production. AI. Right. This week, police in Massachusetts responded to reports of a man in camouflage, standing in a lawn holding a bazooka, instead found blank. A kid just doing his own thing. No, landscaper holding a leaf blower.

Police arrived in the scene, expecting to find a lunatic waving around a bazook, but instead found a landscaper just doing his job. It's a crazy mistake to make because everybody knows the best way to get rid of leaves in your driveways to take them out one by one. Alzo, how did Rachel do in our quiz? She did the exact same thing that Brian Babylon did. Four rights for eight points. Now they're tied with the total of ten each. All right. So how many then?

Uh-oh. Does Tom Papa need to win? Tom. just four. That's all you need, man. Don't say it like that. That's all you need. All right, Tom, this is for the game.

Fill in the blank on Tuesday, the acting attorney general said the administration had abandoned President Trump's $1.8 billion blank. Slush fund. Right. Anti-weaponization fund. On Thursday, former National Security Advisor Blank pled guilty to mishandling classified documents.

Bolton. Yes, according to a new study, bubble blanks show problem-solving skills at the level of chimps. Bumblebees? Bumblebees, yes. Man, bumble. You better get four.

I'm playing. This week, a police detective in South Carolina was fired after he pulled his gun and another officer for blanking. Farting. No, for microwaving fish in the police department break room. It smelled like a fart. On Wednesday, the UN issued a warning

about extreme weather caused by a so-called superblank. by a superstorm. Super El Nino, according to a new study, over three-fourths of Americans want to require warning labels on ultra-processed blank. Food. Yes, ultra-processed foods.

After participating in a new tradition of jumping into a pool to end your wedding reception, a recent brine warned other brides to make sure their dress does not blank. Doesn't become seethrough? No, doesn't try to drown you. Shelby Crawford and her new husband

jumped into the pool at the end of the wedding reception while the guests watched and cheered and then kept cheering for what they really should have realized was too long. Alzo did Tom Papa do well enough to win. Man, listen. Tom, by the hairs of your chinny chin chin, you got four right for eight more points which give you one more point than Brian and Rachel. So you win the game. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict. After tarps off, what'll be the next big thing in baseball stadiums? Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago,

in association with urgent haircut productions, Doug Berman Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our ops manager is J. Vardak. B.J. Leaterman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles, Miles Dornboss, and Lulian King. The special thanks to Miles Dornboss. Also thanks to Mahonda Al-Shakey this week. Peter Gwyn is deep in the heart of Chicago.

So Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical directionist and Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager, that's Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog and the executive producer. Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me is Michael Danforth. Now panel, will be the next big trend at baseball stadiums? Rachel Koster. Tushie's out, too.

Ryan Babylon. It's going to be gloves off night where people just fight and it's going to be played on the White House lawn. And Tom Papa. Weiner's out at the Westminster Dog Show. And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks also to Brian Babylon, Rachel Costor, and Tom Papa. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Bass Concert Hall. And special thanks to our friends at KUT here in Austin.

Thanks to our fabulous audience who came out to see us in Austin. And thanks to you for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagan. We'll see you next week back in Chicago. This is NPR.