Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - The Wait Wait 2026 summer spectacular, part 1!

Episode Date: August 15, 2026

This week, we celebrate our endless summer with some of our favorite guests, including Jason Benetti, Mychal Threets, Lily King, and Renee Rapp!Support public media with NPR+ and enjoy perks for over 25 podcasts like this one. This show’s perks include bonus episodes, the chance to be a contestant in those bonus episodes(!), and sponsor-free listening. Learn more at plus.npr.org.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the guy who had to quit working as a lifeguard because people kept pretending to drown so they could meet me. I'm Aalzo Slade, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Azo. Thank you so much. So we made it to the summer break, a reward for getting through the first half of the year, and also a chance to brace ourselves for the rest of the event. it. We're like boxes, recovering in the corner between rounds, bracing ourselves to get punched again.

And while we gasped for breath, here are some highlights from the first half of the year, starting with a hometown hero. Jason Benetti grew up in Chicago before becoming the play-by-play announcer for the White Sox and then the Detroit Tigers. This year, he went national as the play-by-play guy for Sunday night baseball on NBC. Peter asked him about his famous origin story. As a third grader, he wrote an essay saying, one day he'd be the announcer for the White Sox. Essay is a bit of a stretch. Essay is a bit of a stretch.

So obviously this is part of your legend, which I think people here in Chicago know, maybe now they'll know it across the nation. But it is true that you were in the third grade. White Sox fan, right? Yeah, that's right. You said, I want to be Hawke Harrelson, the broadcaster for the White Sox. I actually did. What people don't know is I wrote 50 of those.

Really? One was, I'd like to be a district attorney. one was I'd like to flip burgers and we just unearthed whichever one I got the job for. Really? You were... You got to be ready for anything in a baseball game. Exactly. But you did, in fact, pursue the career of broadcasting. Did you know, when did you know that you had that voice, that you were good at it?

Well, my actual voice is this. But for baseball, I do this. No, I, um, there, it's actually, there's a, a wait, wait, don't tell me tie to my college days, because the student radio station where all of these famous sportscasters came through, Bob Costas, Marv, Albert, Sean McDonough, etc. It's an NPR station. And so the first time I went on the air at Syracuse in 2003,

there's a process you go through and you make it on the air. My lead-in was the NPR News in Carl Castle. Wow. Wow. Yeah. I was afraid you were going to say their lead-in was me, And then you said to yourself, if that guy can get a job in broadcasting, clearly my future is assured.

You started broadcasting, if I'm not mistaken, your high school band competitions, marching band competitions? That's right. If you're listening on the radio, you can't see my stature. But I think like wispy and frail covers it. Yeah. Right? And I, you know, as somebody with a mild case of cerebral palsy,

the marching with the tuba that I selected as my instrument was a horrendous idea. Right. So the first band director in middle school made me the drum major. So my job was to keep time with my gate. Right.

Which was a terrible idea. Right. So then in high school they moved that to we're going to put the tuba on the field and you'll march in place while everybody else goes in planetary orbit around you. That didn't go great either. So the band director said,

why don't you go upstairs and announce the band's sets. So coming up next, Wheels of a Dream from Ragtime or whatever it was. And it was the first time I was behind a microphone. So thanks to Bill Jastrow of Homewood Philosmore High School for all this. There you are. And you eventually got the job with the White Sox. You broadcast them for many years. And you left right before they recorded the worst record in the modern era for a baseball team.

You went to the Detroit Tigers, and they, Whoa. And they made an amazing. They're saying Luke. Yes. And they made an amazing, unexpected run right to the playoffs that year. It was you, wasn't it? I think just yes.

Just yes. They clinched against the white socks, which was a funny, full circle sort of thing. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I know you had to, like, you spent years. on the road, minor league baseball, high school basketball. Do you remember like the most obscure sport or game you ever had to broadcast?

So, a couple of years ago, I got a phone call from somebody here in Chicago and they said, hey, we're looking for somebody to do play-by-play and post-production from a studio of the National Electricians Championships. I'm sorry, what? Correct. So it had... You were going to call the Neckys? You know, Vin Scullough used to call the Neckys without a partner.

It was amazing. It's time for frayed wires, Vin used to say. What in the world was the National Electricians Championship? Yeah, yeah. So it was on tape already. So I didn't have the The excitement of life The zest, the sizzle, I guess

I'm very careful about how I talk about this though Because when we were in the studio They said, okay, to start, just go off script. There's a whole script and my analyst was the electrician from this old house. Scott Karen was on Bob Vila's This Old House. So we just did one run through straight ahead through the script. And then the second time they said,

Okay, let's do a bunch of ad libs. So going to the final break, I said, come back with us. We'll crown a champion, sparks will fly. And I just thought of that off the top of my head. Wow, that's talent. You're not going to believe. A guy from the electrician's championship group, the conglomerate that was staging the show, came in and said, you can't say that.

Yeah. And I said, well, why? He said, well, that would be bad craftsmanship. And so he said, do it again, do it again. So we do it again, and I say, coming up next, we'll crown a champion, sparks won't fly. And the guy comes walking in again,

and this is his job. Right, yeah, sure. To come in and tell me what ad-lives don't work. And he said, you can't say that either. It's too snarky. And I literally said to the guy, why am I here? If neither of those works, why am I here?

One last question. I'm pretty sure, unless something happened at the end of last season, I missed, that you have not settled on a signature home run call. I've not. Well, do you feel that now you will be the NBC Sunday Night Baseball voice of the game that it is time to pick one?

I do, and I think we have the perfect panel up here for it. Yes. If they'd care to offer suggestions for a home run call. How about, bye-bye, ball. In that exact words. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Yeah. See, normal, this is why this show is great. Normally when somebody offers me a home run call, they offer me only the language portion, but you did the tone as well. I think it makes the motif. You have to say it like a six-year-old. Well, Jason Benetti, it is a pleasure to have you here, have you back home in Chicago, but we have asked you here to play our game we are calling.

Jason Benetti, here's some confetti. We're going to ask you about confetti. That's the word that used to mean little sweet. and now means a huge mess. Answer two or three questions correctly. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Jason Benetti playing for? Tim Hudson of Washington, D.C.

All right. Here's your first question. One of the biggest confetti drops each year is in Times Square in New Year's Eve, and more than 3,000 pounds of confetti is dispersed all over. But that can sometimes lead to what problem? A, the confetti cannons are so big

they can trigger an earthquake warning in the area. B, the confetti explosions can spook thousands, of pigeons all at once, leading to a giant shower of bird poop on the revelers. Or see, sometimes after the event many people are suffering from a medical condition called confetti arm. You were vague enough that I think confetti arm is real. That's true. It is real because you see, there are no confetti cannons or dispensers.

All the confetti thrown into Times Square is thrown by hand, all 3,000 pounds of it. and the man in charge says the repetitive motion of throwing the confetti can lead to, quote, confetti arm. All right, here's your next question. Confetti can be made of a lot of things, paper, plastic, even sometimes gold, but paradegoers at the 2012 Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade were surprised when they found out that the confetti that day was made of what? A, newspaper ads for Walmart, B, shredded police documents,

some of which included the names of undercover police officers, or C, slices of turkey. So when I was in the minors, my broadcast partner was Kevin Brown of the Baltimore Orioles. He's a TV announcer in Major League Baseball as well. We would drive to games and listen to Wait, wait, wait. And quite often we would say, I hope it's B. And so I get to on the show say, I hope it's B.

It was B. Yes. Apparently, someone looked at a piece of confetti stuck to a friend's coat and says, why does that confetti have someone's social security number on it? All right, you've a chance for a perfect game. Confetti cannons are a popular feature at shows and concerts, not in Times Square. But the band Bad Omen stopped using theirs after a show in Melbourne, Australia, where what happened?

A, the cannons suffered a glitch where instead of going off at the end of a song, they fired off randomly all night. B, when the cannons went off, the confetti knocked a bunch of ceiling tiles loose, which fell on the audience's heads. Or C, someone stuck a balloon. in the barrel, causing the cannon to explode. I'm going to say that it was A, and it was firing all night. No, I'm afraid it was actually B again.

Oh, I hope it's B. Yeah, Kevin out there was shouting. I hope it's B. It was B. The next night, after the tile incident, the lead singer of the band said from the stage, quote, a moment of silence for the victims of the ceiling panels. Not a joke. Shut up. I heard they're all here tonight.

Everyone that was hit by the ceiling tile, if you were, Where are my tile guys at? What do you expect from a band called Bad Omen? It's true, yeah. They're not called Good Diplomacy. That's right. Bill, how did Jason Benetti do in our quiz? Two hits out of three.

Put you on bass. You're a winner. There you are. Jason Benetti is a sportscaster in the new voice of Sunday night baseball on NBC. You can hear him all this season. Jason Benetti, thank you so much for joining us. I'm Wait, Wait, Don't Tommy.

When we come back, the world's most enthusiastic librarian and arguably the dampest marriage proposal ever. That's when we return with more of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade and here's your host at the Studio Baker Theater and the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo. Thank you so much. Right now, we are on a beach somewhere. We're relaxing, we're reading romance novels, we're working on our tans.

Yeah, I was with you right up till that last part. Well, we do that. We got some of our sunniest moments from the first part of the year. In February, we were joined by librarian Michael Threats, who had just been named the new host of Reading Rainbow from PBS. And, yes, it's a great show. We love it. That's why we're in public radio.

And he told us he was a big fan of the original host. Oh, I absolutely did. LeVar Burton is one of my all-time favorite human beings in the entire world. That's how I saw myself as a reader. I was like, hey, this guy makes it so fun. He's having all these zany adventures. I was homeschooled, so my mom and dad raised us on roots. So I was like, why is a roots guy on reading rainbow? And that came to turn, and I was like, well, that's cool. This is even better. Yeah. I'm the biggest LaVar Burton fan in the entire world. He has that effect on people. How was the torch past? Did Lovar Burton like knight you with a bookmark or hand over the animated butterfly to you? How did it work?

I wish you was that special. I've not yet had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Burton. I'm just trying to make him proud with my obnoxious enthusiasm for libraries and literacy and books. And I hope it's coming across well on YouTube to all the kid viewers out there. So it is genuine. I think nobody doubts that. You've talked a lot how the library was your sort of safe space. as a kid. Did you have a favorite book when you were a kid? You know what?

You're not going to be able to see it because my camera is blurred but I have a full tattoo sleeve of my favorite books so I love where the wild things are. I'm a big fan of Richard Scary. Richard Scary books. Sure.

Strikanona of Frog and Toad. But one of my favorite books is But Not Buddy by Christopher Paul Curtis. It's because that was the first book where I saw myself looked like a character in the books. Well, how old were you when you got your first book tattoo?

I think I got my first book. tattoo when I was 24. So it's been almost 12 years. And what was the first book you had tattooed? The first one was, that is a good question. It was actually, it was either where the wild things are or I have a library card of Arthur Reed from PBS tattooed on me. Wow.

Wow. And when you walked into the tattoo parlor at the age of 24 and you said, I would like this library card with Arthur the Art of Arc, Arthur Reed. Did the guy just look at you and say, oh, what a cliche. You know what? He really did. I think because I showed him my, like, at the time I had close to 40 library cards,

I just brought in my library card collection, and he was like, okay, you're all about it. That's okay. That's okay. Whatever works. You spent so much time at your hometown library. Eventually, you went back and got a job there, and you eventually became head librarian, right?

I did, yes. I got my library card at that same library as a kid. Excuse me, I became a shelver. I went to college, got my bachelor's degree, got my master's degree, became a children's librarian, and then a marketing librarian, and then I eventually became the supervising librarian of that same thing. And once you acquired that immense power, what is the first thing you did with it? Did you shush someone? Oh, yeah. I like to go into libraries just to shush everybody.

I just like to just be like, shh, shh, shh. Even if nobody's saying anything. I just love to shush in a library. Let's say you have a little kid, however old, who doesn't like to read. Says they don't, anyway. Do you have like a magic book that you have in your pocket, metaphorically speaking, to whip out and like convert that kid into a reader? You know what?

I don't have necessarily a magic book, but I think I love, I found that so many kids always have what they love on. their person. Either they have a Spider-Man hat or nowadays they have K-pop Demon Hunter's shirts. And I just start talking about that. And I'm like, did you know that there's football books? There's basketball books. There's actually books about K-pop demon hunters. I'm pretty sure there's someone out there trying to write a bad bunny book as we as we speak. Yes. So I think the magic of books is just saying, you know what? You can read. You can read graphic novels. You can read dog man

1,000 times. Read away. Reading is reading. You're a worthy reader. Can I ask a health question of you, Michael? How many times can a parent safely read everybody poops to their child

before they get actual brain damage? The child or the adult? I was thinking of the adult. Yeah, I understand. Well, Michael Threats, it is a joy to talk to you. And this time we've invite you to play a game we're calling.

Don't read the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. Oh, no. You host Reading Rainbow, so we thought we'd ask you about the candy with the slogan, Taste the Rainbow. That is, of course, Skittles. Answer two or three questions about Skittles Candy. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone.

They might choose from our show for their voicemail. So, Bill, who is librarian Michael Threatz playing for? Isaac Lewis of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. All right. You ready to do this? I'll give it a try for you. Give it a try. Here's your first question.

Packs of Skittles come in a variety of different flavors from the classic flavors to tropical fruit flavors. Well, one limited edition flavor that came out in 2019 was not so successful, which was it? A, suppository Skittles. B, zombie skittles were one in every 20 skittles tasted rotten. Or C, Zootopia Skittles, each designed to taste like

each of the star animals in that movie. I think I'm going to go with suppository skittles. Suppository skittles. Truly the most beast mode of all skittles. Truly, truly. No, it was zombie skittles. Really? It really was.

Zombie skittles flavors included petrifying citrus punch, mummified melon, and every now and then, rotten zombie. Wow. Wow. Wow. All right, this is all right. You got two more chances. In 2018, a spokesman for Mars, the company that makes Skittles,

had to issue an official statement to shut down a conspiracy theory that was spreading like wildfire, alleging what? A, Skittles are actually candied fish row. B, all skittles take exactly the same. They're just in different colors. Or C, each of them has a microdose of cocaine, which is why they're so addictive. I really want to go with C.

and I'm going to be so sad if it is C, but I'm going to go with B. You're right. The rumor was that all Skittles taste exactly the same. They just have different colors. It's not true, and I am proud to say it was a rumor started by a report on NPR. Oh. There you go. All right, this is great, Michael, if you get this last one, you win.

Skittles are known for their very weird commercials. Which of these was a real Skittles commercial that was broadcast somewhere in the world? Was it A, a commercial with a huge and third? anthropomorphic tube sock that generated static electricity by rubbing in the carpet and shocks an old man on the tongue. Was it B a man who milks skittles from a giraffe which is eating a rainbow or see a mother who feeds her adult son, skittles through an umbilical cord? Oh God.

Bad. I am going to go with B with the giraffe. You're going to go with B. the man who milk skittles from a giraffe that's eating a rainbow. That's right, but they were all real. Those were all real skittles commercials. Bill, how did Michael Threatz do in our quiz? Two out of three is a win, Michael, proved his talent. Congratulations.

Michael Threat's new book is, I'm so happy you're here, a celebration of library joy, and he is the host of the new edition of Reading Rainbow. Michael Threats, thank you so much for joining us. I'm Wait, Wait, Don't Tom. What a pleasure to talk to you. Take care. Thank you for having me. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Just a few weeks later, we went to Indiana University in Bloomington and met perhaps the greatest athlete ever to come out of that school. Olympic champion swimmer Lily King still lives near her alma mater. And Peter asked her about how she still trains in the university's pool. Wow. did you enjoy after you graduated coming back here and getting in the pool with all these younger

swimmers and just continuing to kick their ass? Yes, always. Always. Because you really, you're not that old, but you don't have to be old to really enjoy beating younger people. It's just, it doesn't get old ever. When you were growing up, you came from an athletic family, your father's a track coach, right?

How did you know, A, that swimming was your sport, and B, that you were particularly good at it? Well, I was really bad at everything else, so that was a good giveaway at the beginning. Wait, maybe I'm an Olympic swimmer then. You never know. Gymnastics career didn't really take off. It did not pan out. You know, I was about this size at 14, so it didn't work for me either, so it's okay. I love this story.

I understand that your husband, who was a fellow member of the IU swim team, proposed to you after you had just won a meet or an event? Yes. So I got proposed to at Olympic trials. And the security of Olympic trials is like really tight. Like, you know, trying to get up on the pool deck. There's guys with like army guys with machine guns, like ready to. It's wild.

Yeah, guys, this is a swim meet. It's not that, it's not that deep. You're all wearing bathing suits. Where do they expect you to be hiding a weapon? Exactly. So I walked down the stairs and I'm gasping for, you know, I just finished a race. I'm exhausted. And I saw he was on deck.

And I was like, how'd you get down here? Like, they're going to take you out. Like, what are you doing? He had murdered 11 security guards. Well, I'm pretty sure he used to be in the CIA, but we don't have to talk about that. Okay. So, yeah, so then he proposed right then and there. Really?

Did he do the classic thing get down in one knee? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, you had a swim cap on when he proposed to you. So this is funny. So I didn't because one of my best friends who I trained with, she was a coach. So she told me, she's like, hey, just take your cap off after your race. And I was like, we're very honest.

honest with each other, sometimes to the point where it's not so nice. I was like, if you, just tell me I look awful in my cap. Like, just tell the truth. And she's like, no, just, you gotta trust me to just take your cap off. So funny. So I got a good friend. It is. So I get out after my race, I take my cap off and I'm looking at it stand for her and I couldn't see her. And I was like, what the hell? I took it off for nothing. I know, I'm like rolling my eyes looking for. Did you then hear her voice yelling? You also might want to put on some makeup? Yeah, no, it was too late. It was too late. Why did you tell me to do my nails for the Olympic trials? Exactly. And there your husband was, and he got down on one knee, and he proposed right there in the deck. There you go. Right? Yeah. And do you think he would have proposed if you had lost?

I've met enough really high elite athletes knowing that they all expect to win. You all expect to win every time, which is part of the secret. And so I imagine that if you hadn't won that day and made the Olympic team, you would have said yes to his proposal, but it might have been more like a, okay, fine. Maybe, maybe. It was, you know, separation of church and stuff. there. If you expect to win, which is part of what makes you champion, do you get nervous? I know you're retired.

Did you get nervous? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Especially like Olympic trials when you go in and the whole point of the meet is you got to be top two. So there's usually, you know, 100 to 150 people in your event and only to make the Olympic team. So pretty much, especially if you're expecting to make it, going into that final, you just got to think don't mess up.

Do competitors talk? Do you talk to me? Like you said it's 150 people? and I'm guessing the top group you expect to win. Do you guys like talk smack to each other before you jump in a pool? I do. They didn't like it that much. No, wait a minute.

Okay. We had read that one of your secrets is you like, you psych out your opponents. You play some mind games. Looking pretty dry today. Yeah. with another girl off of a turn. So that was, I think, as close as we'd get in the water, that was pretty crazy. She was the Dennis Rodman of International.

I take that as a great compliment. You should. Well, Lily King, we are delighted to talk to you, but we've asked you here to play a game we're calling... Lily King, meet these Lil Kings. That's right. We're going to ask you three questions about Shark Kings. Two or three questions, right, about men of less than average heighty and win our prize, one of our listeners. the voice of anyone they might choose for their voicemail, Bill, who is Lily King playing for?

Olivia Chavino and Leo Burton of Bloomington, Indiana. I'm guessing we're fans. Are you ready to do this? I'm ready. Okay. Here we go. Here's your first question. For centuries, psychologists have talked about the Napoleonic complex or the idea that short men

can be more aggressive or ambitious than tolerant. But a 2007 English scientific study disproved it. How did they do that? was it A, by hitting short men with sticks, and seeing if they got angrier than tall men, B, by asking short men how much they might enjoy conquering Europe, or C, simply by asking a bunch of short men if they were compensating for something, and they all said, no! I'm going to go C.

You're going to go C? Your choice is C. They just asked them, and they all yelled no. No, it was actually A. No. It was. What they did, and this is true, is they would wrap men of various heights on the knuckles with sticks.

And they noted that shorter men would react with less anger than taller men. Interesting. Yeah. All right, two more chances. You get these right, you win. Here we go. It might surprise you who is a short king, or was, as in which of these examples. A.

Neil Armstrong, the astronaut, who meant to say that's one. step for a small man. B. Joseph Stalin, who was so short, Harry Truman used to call him Lil Squirt. Or C. Dwayne the Rock Johnson, who originally wrestled under the nickname The Pebble. It's not the pebble. I know that. I'm hearing B.

B sounds good. Yes, it's B. You guys got to, like, give me some YMCA. It all sounds the same thing. though, did you rely on the audience at your swimming? It's like, what should, what should I do? Oh, fast? Fast? Okay, everyone wants to feel like that.

A little bit. Yeah. Yeah, he used to call him a little squirt, you know. All right, last question. If you get this one right, you win. Alan Ladd, a star from the Golden Age of Hollywood, was only five foot six. And to make up for that, the producers of his movies would do what? A, dig holes for his taller co-stars to stand in.

B, put one foot high lifts into all his shoes, or C, make sure that every other actor in the entire movie was five foot two or shorter. They're all saying A. They're all saying A. I feel like I'm really using my phone a friend. You are. Okay, I'll go A. It was A, yes.

The lifted shoes wakes way more. So if he was talking to say a taller woman, they would dig a hole and the woman would stand in the hole and appear shorter. And you're maybe saying, well, wait a minute, great. Okay, a hole. What if the actor had to move during the shot? Easy answer, they'd dig a ditch. Bill, how did Lily King do in our quiz? Six-time Olympic medalist wins the big one.

Two out of three on Weight, Wait, Don't Tell Me. With a lot of help. Give me a lot of help. That's all right. Lily King is a six-time Olympic medalist and a legend of who's your athletics. Lily King. Thank you so much for joining us on Wait Wait Don't Tell me.

Thank you. Lily King, everybody. When we come back, our panelists, give the week's news, the treatment it deserves, And the very meanest of the mean girls turns out to be kind of nice. That's when we come back with more of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. From NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

The NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade, and here's her host at the Studio Breaker Theater and the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo. Thanks, everybody. So we have spent the hour relaxing on the beach, and by now we've got sand everywhere and a sunburn, and frankly, we're wondering what the whole...

whole point is. I hate having an existential crisis when I'm surfing. So every week we ask our panelists about the news and every week that seems to be a surprise to them. Here's some fun we have with our panelists this year, including some questions that we have never broadcast before. Karen, couples will go to great lengths to ensure their weddings go smoothly and this week we learned that some brides are going to the lengths of hiring a what? Oh, um, a, uh, a, uh, a wedding planner? Oh, they've got that. An outfit, like a clothing designer?

Oh, sure, that's old hat. They all got that. A dentist? No, this is going the extra mile to make sure that you're not hexed on your wedding. Oh, are they hiring, what? Like a witch? Yes, they're hiring witches. Okay. Wedding costs,

soaring, weather, more unpredictable. Wait, I have an important question. Yes. Aren't witches famously evil? Wow, stereotype, that was so racist of me. Strike me if you've heard this before. Yeah.

But she was a wicked witch. I am a good witch. They're two different kinds. Yes, yes, yes. I've heard you say this before. Don't tell anybody in what context, okay? That's between us. So anyway, people are like so worried

that their incredibly expensive weddings are not going to go off well. They're hiring witches to make sure they will. Sure, witches are expensive. We know that, but you can haggle some of them down to your second-born child. Okay, I've never felt

so alone as a member of the LGBT you guys have never been to a lesbian wedding where it was like a woman with, you know, gray straw-like hair down to her waist doing a hand fasting ceremony and then chanting and smudging the space before and after? No. No, yeah. No. No.

Well, I've never felt so alone and now the straits are coming for our culture. It's unbelievable. I've been to a Fleetwood Mac concert, and then I know the Stevie Nix fan vibe. So yes. Many people are finding their witches on Etsy. Right? Oh, yeah.

Right. Etsy. And you can find witches who will start you with their magical services around $10 a spell. It goes up from there. You have to watch out for the add-ons. Or the next thing you know, you're trading your voice to the sea witch for a 70-degree cloudless day. Just throw in there, too. Like, there's a very entertaining witch name.

Lady Ria. She's like a New York staple, and she's famous for candle spells. And I read this great interview with her where they said she was like chain smoking through the whole interview. And she was like, I've got spells for everything, you know, divorce, love, you know, rickets, blah, blah, and then the interviewer was like, what about smoking? And she took a drag and said, that's the one thing we can't figure out. Paul, experts have long said that if you want to avoid heart disease and live a long life, 150 minutes of exercise a week, a little more than two hours, is plenty. Well, a new study has said what?

It's not nearly enough. That's exactly right. Oh, damn it. I know. It's so frustrating. We're going in the wrong direction. Yeah. Yeah.

This new research finds that if you really want to avoid dying early, you need not 150 minutes, but 560 minutes of exercise a week. That is about nine and a half hours. that is the amount of exercise that makes the people in your life say things like, you have a problem, and I'm leaving you. Well, you know, on the other hand, what kind of life is that? Yeah. I've been pogo sticking.

I've been doing a series of daily videos counting down until November 3rd, and I don't know whatever made me do this, but in the beginning of it, and I try to give people something that they can do each day, because hand-wringing isn't all that helpful. What you can do... If you hand-ring for nine hours a week, though. Yeah, you'll stay alive for a really long time. But something they can do to help save the democracy.

But when I first started doing it, and I have no idea why I did this, but I said, in addition, I will add a pogo on each day until we take back the House in the Senate. Right. So it was one pogo jump in the first day, two, and the second three and the three.

Yeah, I can tell you that I started 130 days ago. Is it an honor system thing, or do you play, it's like 130 jumps that everyone sees you do? Yeah. Okay. The editor speeds it up, because it would be boring to watch the whole time.

But I do them in real time. And I, you know, I don't want to, if anybody here has ever watched, I hope I'm not wrecking it for you, telling you that it's sped up. But really, seriously, 560 minutes, it's so much. The average American would to increase their average weekly exercise to reach that goal by 560 minutes.

So, Roxanne, the Met Gala was this week, and a deep dive by your colleagues at the Washington Post looked into one of the events enduring mysteries, how the celebrities and attendance do what? I was studying the costumes. I actually looked at a lot of this. I'm going to say, go to the bathroom. You're exactly right, Roxanne. The question was... Because they're so, like, Heidi Klum was like encased in a, like, this plastic thing.

And I believe she was like a Grecian bust of something. Yes, she was. And they're all like wearing these insanely tight or sculpted things that they have to be sewn into or sculpted into. So, of course, the question is, how do they manage when nature calls? I mean, I'm sure Rihanna loves knowing that one of the nation's great newspapers looked at her and their first thought was, what's going on there, bladder-wise? So it turns out, because the post, you know, democracy dies in darkness, they looked into this thing. Turns out some celebrities, a lot of people, they just don't because they make sure not to drink before or during.

So they don't have to, and that's good because it just so happens. This year's Met Gallatin was desiccated corpse. And some celebs have a trap door built into their elaborate costume. to make it all easier. You can do that. Just don't get spotted by the puparazzi. Oh, oh. There must be, there must be hot-cature catheters.

Oh, God. Let's see. Let's see. Well, my gown is by Armani. My colostomy bag is by... Don't shank a bladder. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-8-2-4. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago.

You can also catch us on the road. We'll be in Huber Heights, Ohio, just outside of Dayton on September 3rd. Our comedy grab-back stand-up show is back. It's Wednesday, September 9th at the Den Theater here in Chicago, hosted by none other than Aalzo Slade, with comedy from our panelist, special guests, and even, well, me. For tickets and information to all our live events,

go to NPRPresents.org. Finally, last year we talked to Renee Rapp, a singer-songwriter and actor most well-known for playing the meanest girl herself, Regina and the musical mean girls on stage and film. Peter asked her about her childhood love of the theater, but it turns out it wasn't originally her jam. I wasn't really into theater immediately.

I was always a huge fan of pop stars and a huge fan of singers and musicians. And then I was just so, I think, annoying to be around for my family that they were like, well, you would do well in the theater. And they were right. Yes. And also, you'll have rehearsal late into the evening, so we won't see him. Exactly.

Yes. I can't, you know, I can't be around for too long, which was nice. But I did. I missed a lot because I was in theater. I missed the death of my first pet. I missed the death of my hamster. My mom had to braid that on her own because I was in a thrilling production of Annie. Did the sun come up the next day, Renee?

The son absolutely came out tomorrow, and I took myself back to that damn tin bucket and did a hard knock life ten times better in lieu of my hamster's death. Wow. I love that even at ten, you were able to take that tragedy of the loss of your hamster and transform it into art. Absolutely. I was like, how can I make this about myself?

Your first album, Snow Angels, came out a few years ago, massive hit. Your new album out this summer is called Bite Me. And it has songs, these are just the titles that you wrote the lyrics to, Mad, Leave Me Alone, Why is She Still Here? I can't have you around me anymore, and I think I like you better when you're gone. So, Renee, we just met, but is everything okay? No. No.

At the time, no, not at all. I was just in such a point in my life where everyone was just so annoying to be around. And I was so fed up with myself. I was fed up with my work life. I was like, I don't have fun anymore. And I wanted to write an album that was like, I want everyone to get and stay the hell away from me. And I kind of did exactly that.

Yeah, like it is just, it is thematically the title. Okay. It's an amazing record and the songs are stunning and fun and crazy and great, and I recommend it to everybody. I want to ask you one more thing. You were on Stephen Colbert recently, and you talked about, I was deeply surprised because I thought I knew you from your work about your massive crush on Mark Cuban. I know. I understand that this doesn't really seem like my thing.

No. You know, it's a boy. For one thing. I have like a very specific brand of like that age of like white boy that like really does it for me for some reason. Like there's like a thing there that they do that I'm super into. Like it's kind of like he to me is the equivalent to like Jason Sadekis on Ted Lasso. And then there's this other guy who also is kind of in that, I'm forgetting his name off the top of my head. but he plays like the evil brother in Game of Thrones.

He starts to you, and I said, you know the incest? He's the boy in the incest. Oh, that guy, yeah, okay, I know who you mean. Nicholas Costa Waldo, that guy. Love. And there's so few middle-aged men that I like. Sure. I don't mean to be presumptuous here, but like these are all middle-aged men

with full heads of hair wearing, like, dark suits. If you squint, those are just butch lesbians. Bitch lesbians with jobs, girl. That's what I like. That's what I like. Well, it is an absolute joy to talk to you, Renee. And we have, in fact, asked you here to play a game we're calling Bite Me, Edward Cullen.

Please bite me. So your new album, as we have mentioned, your new album is called Bite Me, which, of course, immediately reminded us of the Twilight Vampire Saga. Answer three questions about those moody, damp vampires. Oh, God. No, and you will win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone from our show, they might choose for their voicemail. Bill, who was Renee Rapp playing for?

Jack Owens of Denver, Colorado. Okay. Okay. I just have to ask before we get started, I think you're in the right demographic for her. Were you a fan of the Twilight saga at any time? I loved Twilight as a kid. Rob Hatson also goes in that. I love Twilight as a kid.

I cannot tell you the last time I watched. watch Twilight, though. All right. Yeah. Here's your first question, Renee. Twilight takes place, the books and eventually the movie, in the very real town of Forks, Washington, which has been a tourist destination

ever since the first book Twilight was published. Author Stephanie Meyer knew the book had to be set in Forks, Washington, why? A, she was paid to do so by the Forks Washington Chamber of Commerce and Tourist Bureau. B, she Googled Raniest Place in the U.S. and it was what came up.

Or C, her plan. was to set the sequel book in Spoons, Washington, then knives and finally, sporks. I love a spork, but I think that, like, B, that feels like something a writer would do. It is something that that writer, in fact, did. Because she's writing about vampires. Vampires don't like sunlight,

so why wouldn't they live in the rainiest, cloudiest place they could find? Here is your next question. In addition to the town of Forks, the Twilight Books made an unexpected star out of somebody else. Who was it? A, the book's editor whose note, Why Not Just Make Mummy's sexy, was accidentally published in the first edition.

B, a man whose real name was Edward Cullen, who was cast in a reality dating show called Searching for My Bella Swan, or see the hand model holding an apple on the cover of the books who spun her fame into an apple-scented hand lotion brand called Hands of Twilight.

The third one sounds ridiculous. Like the hand thing? But that's so prominent on the cover. And a good hand goes a long way. It's true. So maybe the third one. You're right again, Renee. That's what happened.

We all remember that the cover of the books has hands holding an apple of various kinds and sure, that woman went on to have a sort of semi-famous career although in a New York magazine profile it said of her, quote, she doesn't understand why she's not more famous. I quote, of course,

that is something only a hand model would say. You're right? All right, you're doing really well, Renee. We have one more question for you. The first screenplay for the movie adaptation of the first book, Twilight was thrown out and replaced with a version that was much closer to the book. That's what got made. That's a bit of a shame because the abandoned screenplay included which of these scenes. A, Bella revealing her father was Frankenstein's monster.

B, Bella writing a jet ski being chased by the FBI. Or C. a climactic scene as the vampires attack the Red Cross's largest blood bank. Oh my God. Okay. Once again, I see it all, even the jet ski. Sure. I'm kind of liking that. I'm liking that because I'm not sure that I know enough about Blue Cross Blue Shield. So let's go with the jet ski. You're right again, Renee. Yeah, very good.

So in that original, big chase scenes, lots of action. In that script, Bella also blows away vampires with a shotgun for some reason. It turns out that the studio was told, or they had the idea, let's make this more appealing to boys. Anyway. Love. Love it. Bill, how did Renee Rap do in our quiz?

I can't believe it, but she got them all right. What a winner. You're amazing. Renee Rapp's fabulous new album is Bite Me. She's on tour supporting it this fall. See her if you can. Renee Rapp. Thank you so much for joining us.

And wait, wait, don't tell me. What a pleasure to talk to you. Bye, bye. Bye, bye. Take care. Thank you, guys. Thanks, thank you. That's it for our We're going to get away from it all

even if it tries to hunt us down edition. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEC Chicago in association with urgent hair cop productions Doug Berman Benevolent Overlord Philip Godica writes our limbericks. BJ Leaderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills,

Miles Grumboss, and Lily and King. Special thanks to Peter Gwynn for getting that spot on our backs. Our vibes curator is Emma Choi, technical direction of some Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our ops manager is Jazeera Varda. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

House, our senior producer is Ian Chilock, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell him, is Michael Danforth. Thanks to everybody you heard on their show this week, all our panelists, Alzo Slate, and of course, Bill Curtis. And thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Segal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.