Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Tyra Banks

Episode Date: September 12, 2020

Tyra Banks, supermodel and business woman, joins us along with panelists Luke Burbank, Jessi Klein, and Adam Burke.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Get a real job, Sweeney Todd. I'm the barber of Seville, Bill Curtis. And here is your host, a man who was just elected mayor of his living room, Peter Sagal. Thank you so much, Bill, and thanks to this week's fake audience, which is all the bikers who decided to skip the Sturgis motorcycle rally as they read the news. If there's one problem that we're all struggling with now, it's how to let other people know you're happy to see them while you're wearing a mask. Well, later on, we're going to be talking to supermodel Tyra Banks, who's the new host of Dancing with the Stars, but who also invented the art of smiling with your eyes or smizing.

There's no need to worry about your dead-eyed look when you call in to play our games. We can't see you. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, this is Roth. Hey, Roth. Where are you calling from?

I'm calling from Atlanta. Oh, what'd you do there? Well, I just quit my job a couple weeks ago, actually. You did? Yeah. Yeah. You just wanted to spend more time locked at home with your family? Well, I've had plenty of that.

Sort of the lockdown, you know, once I stopped going to lunch with the co-workers, I realized that the work itself wasn't really fitting for me. Really? So it turns out that however long you were at this job, what was really keeping you going and inspiring you was just having lunch with your co-workers? Well, I mean, more than that, but, you know. No, it's great. Mostly that.

It's quite a compliment to your co-workers. Yeah, a lot of great guys. Well, welcome to the show, Roth. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, it's a comedian who can be seen on the 5 o'clock somewhere news on Instagram and YouTube. It's Adam Burke. Hello.

Congratulations on your emancipation from your job. Thanks. Next, it's the host of the daily podcast TBTL and the radio show Livewire. He'll be hosting the Port Townsend Virtual Wooden Boat Festival this very weekend. It's Luke Burbank. Hey there, Rock.

Hey, Luke. Finally, an Emmy-winning writer, as well as the voice of Jesse on the animated hit Netflix show Big Mouth, and she's the author of the New York Times bestseller, You'll Grow Out of It. It's Jesse Klein. Hello, Rock. Hey, Jesse. Wow. Roth, welcome to our show. You're going to start us off with Who's Bill this time.

As I bet you knew, Bill Curtis is now going to read you three quotations from this week's news, if you can correctly identify or explain just two of them. You'll win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Great, yeah. Here is your first quote. However you feel about him, he makes great copy. That's Eamon Dolan, an editor at Simon & Schuster, talking about all of the books written about whom? President Trump. Exactly, President Trump, of course.

There you go. The president didn't save American manufacturing, but he has saved publishing. According to the New York Times, over the past four years, 1,200 books have been published related to Donald Trump, meaning he did fulfill one of his promises to murder 100 million trees. Have you guys read any of these books? Because like everybody else, I just wait to hear what the news is out of any of them. You know, amazing revelation, the next new book, and then I ignore it otherwise. I read the first Woodward one, which is called Fear.

Yes. Not the new one, which is called Rage. I'm looking forward to his third one, which is just, ah, Jesus! What is the opposite of wanting a book to be made into a movie? Like, is it where you wish the material that made the book would just go into a black hole eight billion galaxies away? I am not reading these books. You know that old saying, Jesse, isn't there?

You know, the book was better than the movie and the reality was worse than both. This is true. We're talking, of course, about this new book, Rage, by Bob Woodward, in which he reveals that the president confessed to Bob Woodward that he knew how bad the coronavirus was way back when he was telling us it was nothing to worry about. And it's true. A lot of people are going after Bob Woodward for not letting us know this when he found out. They have a point.

If only we had known who was president in March, we could have done something. Guys, if I put 30 Zolofts into a blender with 70 tubs of ice cream, because I honestly can't think of anything I would rather do listening to literally all of these details. I don't know about that, Jesse, but I think you should definitely write a cookbook. But put Trump somewhere in the title so you can get on the bestseller list. Well, that's exactly it. All of these books are selling amazingly well. Mary Trump's book, his niece, her book sold more copies than The Art of the Deal. So everybody is trying

to get in on this. Samin Nosrat is going to publish a new cookbook, Salt, Fat, Crimes, and Misdemeanors. Mine is going to be called Feelings and How to Eat Them All Up. Here is your next quote, Roth. For the love of God, stop burning things down to tell everyone about your kids' genitals. That was a woman named Jenna Karavundis, who happens to be the person who invented a certain kind of party, and now she wants everybody to please stop before they start any more forest fires.

What kind of party is it? Oh, a gender reveal party. Exactly, a gender reveal party. Now, back in the day, you'd reveal a baby's gender by waiting till it grew up, joined the workforce, and then you see how much it gets paid. But these days, apparently, parents have these gender reveal parties. Some people make a cake that are blue or pink inside. Some people release blue or pink balloons.

And one couple used a, quote, pyrotechnic device that started a wildfire that is currently burning down most of the forest east of Los Angeles. Now, what's weird is, after all that, we don't even know what the gender of the baby is. Congratulations, proud parents. It's a disaster. I'm going to confess I had, when my baby was gestating. Yes, that's the term. I had a gender reveal party where I set off a nuclear bomb because it was the only way I could think of to let people know I was having a boy.

I just couldn't think of another way to do it. So it was the color way I could think of to let people know I was having a boy. I just couldn't think of another way to do it. So it was the color of the mushroom cloud. I thought about printing out letters or even calling my friends. And the only thing I could do is to set off a nuclear explosion. You know what to me is maybe the most surprising part of the story is that this is not the first major forest fire started by a gender reveal. This is at least the second that we've heard of. I mean, these disasters are happening so often they're going to have to add 811 as an emergency number

just for the gender reveal disasters. If Smokey Bear is standing behind you with the shovel held over his head like he's going to swing it at you, it's because you lit the forest on fire with your gender reveal. It's like, where should we, where should we do this overly performative thing that's not about the child? I know, dry grasslands.

Is that what happened in Chicago too? Like did Mrs. O'Leary have a gender reveal? Exactly. It turns out it was a cow, not a bull. And then the whole city boiled up. Now, listen, as a public service, we're going to give everybody who insists on doing this the best way to reveal your baby's gender. And you can do it without spending any money or causing a massive catastrophe. You can have the one and only Bill Curtis reveal your baby's gender. So everybody get ready to record. You can use this however you like. Bill?

Hello, I'm Bill Curtis. It's a baby. Gender is a social construct. Now cut it out with the forest fires, you putzes. Also, a much better slogan for Smokey the Bear. Cut it out with the forest fires, you putzes.

Very Yiddish. Alright, Roth, here is your last quote they got tired of keeping up with themselves that was the New York Post talking about a reality show that announced

it will finally be ending after 20 seasons what is the show? Keeping Up with the Kardashians Keeping Up with the Kardashians it's a day we thought would never come we have finally caught up

with the Kardashians after 20 seasons 13 years on TV we're going to say goodbye It's a day we thought would never come. We have finally caught up with the Kardashians. After 20 seasons, 13 years on TV, we're going to say goodbye to all of them. Chris, Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall, Karni, Clem, and Cletus. Did you guys ever watch this show? Because I never knowingly saw a minute of it. Well, I can tell you the appeal of the show. Please.

It used to be before the show that when you ate and or went to the bathroom you had nothing to look at oh i remember those horrible days remember you would just sit and talk to your people and now this show then it was like what if we could fill this with people with the shiniest hair you've ever seen in your lives and that's what the show was i i have to say though i want I want to stand up for the Kardashians a little bit. It's sort of low-hanging fruit. It's easy to talk about

the show being vapid. I do think they have a lot of genuine affection for each other. I have been roped into watching many an episode of the show, and I find them to actually

be more likable than I would have expected. That being said, I think we now can close the book on what it does to a family structure to film everything that happens for 13 years. And it ain't great.

Like, they are the richest disasters on planet Earth at this point from all of this attention and documentation. Now, we will admit, we will admit that it is finally time for them to go. Everything gets a little stale

after being in the air that long. Incredibly stale. Well, anyway, stay tuned for Wait Wait's 23rd anniversary special in January. Bill, how did Roth do in our quiz? Roth got us off to a great start. 3-0. Thank you, Roth. Thank you, Roth, and good luck with whatever's next.

Yeah, thanks so much for having me. Take care. whatever's next. Yeah, thanks so much for having me. Take care. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Jesse, for what we believe

is the first time, scientists in the UK have come up with formal classifications for the five different kinds of what? Moods that I'm in at this point. Give me a hint. I'll give you a hint. One thing all five types have in common,

they're all willing to scoop up poop out of a box of sand. Those aren't any of my moods. Cats? Cats owners, Jessie. Cat owners? Cat owners, yes. There are five types of cat owners, it turns out. Now, previously, we thought there were only two kinds of cat owners, cat ladies or secret cat ladies. But new research proposes that cat owners can be divided into five personality types, while cats believe their owners can be divided way more ways if you just use your claws. if you just use your claws.

The types are, and these are real, freedom defender, conscientious caretakers, concerned protectors, tolerant guardians, and laissez-faire landlords. Why aren't these people working on the vaccine? The categories refer to attitudes about monitoring the cat's behavior, especially when they're outside of the house, because if allowed to roam,

cats can spread disease, kill wildlife, interfere in U.S. elections, and secretly set forest fires and blame gender reveal parties. You also know that the type of person to write this report underlined the letters cat in category. It's true. It's true. Coming up, our panelists find out there really is a god in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. I'm Lisa Hagan. And I'm Chris Haxel. We're the hosts of No Compromise, NPR's new podcast exploring one family's mission to reconstruct America using two powerful tools, guns and Facebook. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Join us for the No Compromise podcast from NPR. Join us for the No Compromise podcast from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Adam Burke, Luke Burbank, and Jesse Klein. And here again is your host, who, if it weren't for the pandemic, would have been recruited for the L.A. Lakers. Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game.

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, this is Greg Franklin calling from a little town in Illinois called Chicago. Chicago. Oh. Indeed. You know, it's weird. I, I lived just outside Chicago and I literally went to Chicago for the first time in three months yesterday. I was glad to see it

still there. Yep. Yep. It's very far away and exotic now. What, what do you do there? Yeah. So I just graduated from Amherst college this past May and I actually just got back from Alaska with a hiking trip. So, oh, that's nice. How's Alaska? I understand it's not on fire. No, no, it is not on fire. No, it's great. You know, we did a lot of hiking. I had a reindeer burger for the first time, which was very hot. Oh, wow. Yeah, but quite

delicious. Oh, sure. It's good for you. Bad for the reindeer. Well, you had a good run, Blitzen. I was going to say, you can eat them by the light of their own nose. Well, Greg, it's very nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Greg's topic?

Now, that's what I call divine intervention. Now, people have been praying for miracles ever since God turned that water into a nice Chianti. Well, this week we heard a story of what seems like a real-life prayer answered. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, you'll win our prize. The wait-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play? I was born ready, Peter. Of course, you're from Chicago. Here we go. Your first story is from Adam Burke. The Lord, they say, moves in mysterious ways. But sometimes the Lord says, to heck with mystery and cut a threat to the chase

and so it came to be in the year of our Lord 2020 in the land of New York on the lake of George there came to be a man named Jimmy McDonald and yay was Jimmy on a kayaking trip with his family and lo did Jimmy's kayak float away from his, so engrossed was he in taking selfies. For as Thomas did say to the disciples, pics, or it didn't happen. And yea, there came to be a great tumult upon the waters. Jimmy's kayak did flippeth upside down, and Jimmy did fall into the water where he did struggle to hold on to the boat while keeping his smartphone aloft above the waves. to hold on to the boat while keeping his smartphone aloft above the waves, for it did costeth fourteen hundred bucks, and lo, he had not sprung for an otter box. And yea, though he saw the other

canoers and swimmers pass by, he did not call out, for he was proud. And so Jimmy did close his eyes and pray to the Lord for deliverance. And yea, what did he see in the distance but a floating tiki bar boat. And yea, did the festive Hawaiian-themed booze craft bestride the waters, just like our Savior did upon the Sea of Galilee, only with more cocktail umbrellas and chunks of pineapple. And straightway Jimmy was lifted onto the boat, where he discovered it had been rented out by a group of Catholic priests and seminarians. And thus was Jimmy delivered from the waters of the George. And verily, there was much rejoicing among those that were in the tiki boat, who probably had a few pina coladas and mai tais,

or if thou will, God all mai tais. A kayaker sinking in Lake George, rescued by the miracle of a bunch of priests on a tiki bar boat. Your next story of a savior comes from Luke Burbank. Performer David Blaine made headlines recently when he floated above the Arizona desert, held aloft by helium-filled balloons. But something equally, if not more amazing, happened just this past week when Blavid Dane, Canada's answer to the American magician, strapped himself into a bunch of balloons and attempted to float over the city of Saskatoon.

Dane, whose real name is Charles Kelly, brought a pellet gun along to shoot some of the balloons when it was time to return to Earth. Well, that was problem number one right there, eh? He told the Regina Sun newspaper. I pretty much dropped the gun somewhere over Grandora when I was taking it out to admire it.

So once I lost the gun, I knew I was pretty much hosed in terms of coming down, he added. What followed was a harrowing 49-hour drift over rural Canada. Then things took a turn for the truly dangerous as Dane entered the airspace of Saskatchewan International Airport. Miraculously, though, just as a Boeing 777 was bearing down on him, a flock of Canada geese surrounded him

and his balloons and ushered him to safety, using their weight to gently bring him back down to Earth. I owe these birds my life, said Dane, who announced he's retiring from magic to work on preserving wetlands for his new feathered friends. As of press time, the other David Blaine could not be reached for comment, as he was frozen in a block of ice. Canada's answer to David Blaine saved while aloft by a flock of Canada geese. And your last miraculous moment comes from Jesse Klein.

When the history of this moment is written, one figure will rise as the most confusing of all. The guy who wears a mask but lets his nose poke over the top like a little snorkel for both exhaling and inhaling the coronavirus. The mayor of Smithson, New Mexico, noticed these people everywhere. I don't get why they don't get it, she said. That's exposing 66% of the face holes you're supposed to be covering. She tried everything, but her public information campaign, just saying no's, failed. I finally just gave up and prayed to God to enlighten the people of my town, she said. The next day, in what meteorologists are calling a once-in-a-generation phenomenon,

the prevailing winds in town shifted 180 degrees, blowing from the neighboring town of St. Alban, known for having the state's largest and most fragrant sewage treatment facility in the world. All of a sudden, her town smelled terrible, and everyone was forced to put their mask over their noses. We're saved, said the mayor. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Many of Smithson's residents, however, wanted to make sure their intentions were known and they had not changed their minds, said one local real estate agent. Even though my mask is up, I want people to know I'm only doing it for myself because of

the smell, not for anyone else because of the virus. As for comment, the mayor responded, quote, I just say, Lord, forgive them. They know not how stupid they're being. All right. One of these stories, Greg, is the story of what seems like a real miracle in the news from Adam Burke, a kayaker who had capsized in a lake was rescued from certain doom by a bunch of priests who paddled by on a tiki bar boat. From Luke Burbank, Canada's answer to David Blaine, saved from floating off, well, into wherever by a flock of Canada geese. Or from Jesse Klein, a mighty stinky wind gets people to wear their masks right in New Mexico. Which is the real story of a miracle in the week's news? I'm going to have to go with

choice A. You're going to go with choice A, Adam Burke's story of the kayaker and the tiki bar boat. Yep, yep. All right then, well to bring you the correct answer, we spoke with someone quite familiar with the real story. We were able to pull him up onto the boat and he said, I've been sober for seven years and the bar comes and saves my life. That was first theologian Noah Ismael of the Paulist Fathers, who was actually one of the seminarians who saved the kayaker on Lake George in New York. Congratulations. You got it right. You must have been divine inspiration.

Exactly. Thanks so much. Thank you, Greg, and congratulations. You earned a point for Adam. You've won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose on your voicemail, probably at this point calling for help. Thank you so much for playing with us today.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. And now the game where really, really special people do something quite ordinary. It's called Not My Job. Tyra Banks may be the most super of all the supermodels. I mean, sure, other supermodels have acted and produced and hosted hit reality competition shows and won Emmys. But did Heidi Klum ever teach at Stanford Business School? I think not.

Tyra Banks, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Oh my gosh, how are you? What an introduction. It's genuine. I'm pretty impressed. In fact, I've been researching you and watching you all week, and you seem like one of the busiest human beings I've ever heard of. Oh, God. So how have you been handling the pandemic? Have you had to sort of like put your projects aside? Has it been driving you crazy to be at home, assuming that's what you've done? Oh, no, I started an ice cream company during the pandemic.

A year ago, I trademarked Mize Cream. Mize is the word I created, which means smile with your eyes. Oh, we know. Yes. And it was supposed to be a late 2021 business. But during the pandemic, I was like, people need ice cream. Are you ever tempted just to say, I've done enough in this world and put on your fat pants and lie around for the rest of it? Oh, my God. Hell no. I just, well, I have put on the fat pants during quarantine. Oh, most deaf. I would say running an ice cream company is a good step in that direction. Yeah, apparently. Now I want to get to smizing, which as you say,

is a term you invented. I'm delighted you've trademarked it. It's smiling with your eyes. How did you come up with this in the first place? I came up with it because there's a way that when you look at a photo and you feel nothing, it's actually because the person is not smizing. the way that when you look at a photo and you feel nothing, it's actually because the person is not smizing. So it's like their eyes are dead and they're not giving you anything. So for me, I turned that into smiling with your eyes. And I would teach models and even my family and friends about smiling with their eyes.

And I was like, wait, that is too much. When we tell somebody to smile for the camera, we say cheese. So I need to make this one syllable. So I stayed up all night, y'all i stayed up all night and i was writing on my paper my s-m-e-y-e-s my s-m-i-s-e my all this stuff and finally i was i put s-m-i-z-e and i was like that's it and then i ran and trademarked it before i said it anywhere in the world so you i love this not only did you come up with the idea you stayed up all night like a mad scientist in his lab running back and forth, adjusting the machinery until you got the right word. That's fabulous. OK, if we and we'll talk about like everyday people, not models, want to smile with their eyes and let people know that there's something going on, what sort of things should they be thinking? know that there's something going on, what sort of things should they be thinking?

There's many different ways. There's a sultry, sensuous, fierce smize, and you need to be thinking about something that you love, like pizza. Then there's the smize of delight and of pleasure and of sweetness. So there's like different ones, and you have to think of different things to create a different, to activate a different muscle in your face. I didn't realize there was all the different, I thought it was one Smize fits all. I didn't realize there was all these different types. There's the super Smize.

There's the you better record Smize. There's the super Smize. There's all kind of Smizes. But you know what? Guess who will not put Smize in the dictionary? No, tell me. Merriam-Webster. Oh, wow.

We keep calling the miriam webster people what we call them we email them we show them the cover of the wall street journal we keep like we show everything all this stuff and they're just like oh you know we've been we've had our eye on smiths for a couple of years and i'm like you know what now you just hate depending on the editors of the miriam webster dictionary you might be better off sending them the cover of that Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. I do wonder, I mean, as someone who was struck by that photograph when it first appeared some years ago, I do wonder what you were thinking at that point. I was thinking, what the hell is this photographer doing?

These Polaroids back in the day, they would show you like a test shot with a Polaroid. Yes. These Polaroids look crazy. It's raining outside. It's overcast. I have dark circles under my eyes. This new ass photographer does not know what the hell he's doing. These pictures are going to be awful.

And then the pictures came out and they were amazing. So I don't know what the hell he was doing with those Polaroids because they were a hot mess. So that's your look of confused dissatisfaction? That's the look. And then I was on it again last year. And for the first time in the history of Sports Illustrated having a website, not Sports Illustrated Swim Food Edition website, but Sports Illustrated website, it crashed. Really? I'm proud of that.

You crashed the Sports Illustrated website. That's great. So one last question, if I can. You are, of course, as we have been discussing, a supermodel. And we read that the person you find most attractive in this world is Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm. And first of all, as a fellow bald Jewish man, thank you. But second, what is it about Larry David? It is something about his humor. It is something about his walk. It is his facial expressions. It's his eyes. He just does it for me.

Larry, if you're listening, you're welcome. Well, Tyra Banks, it is an absolute joy to talk to you, but we have, in fact, invited you here to play a game we're calling Catwalk Meet Dogwalk. Oh, God. You've spent years, among many other things, teaching aspiring models to strut their stuff in the catwalk. But what do you know, we wondered, about walking dogs? So we're going

to ask you three questions about dog walkers, professional and otherwise. And if you get two right, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose in their voicemail. Bill, who is Tyra Banks playing for? John Peck of New York, New York. All right. Here's your first question, Tyra. A dog walker in the UK once had police called on him after he was caught doing what? A, sniffing the butts of humans while his dog did it to their dog,

B, playing fetch with his dog with a hand grenade, or C, asking people for money to help pay for his, quote, son's hair removal surgery? Oh, it's definitely sniffing booty. The dog is sniffing the dog. He bends down and sniffs the person. People got upset and called the police. Yeah.

No, it was actually playing fetch with a hand grenade. They found it in a washed up cache of ammunition from World War II. Not a problem. You have two more chances. All right. According to the Wall Street Journal, dog walking in Manhattan is so competitive that what sometimes happens? A, premium dog walkers advertise the ability to speak up to 20 different breeds of, quote,

bark talk. B, the occasional give us one dog to walk will give you back two special promotions. Or C, rival dog walkers will watch to see if you don't pick up droppings and then leave a little sign with your name by the poop if you don't whoa um i'm gonna say c three they are so competitive they rat you out that is exactly right i'm both impressed and a little worried that you immediately knew that was the right answer. All right. You have one more chance. If you do this, you're America's Next Top Quiz Answerer.

I have no idea. All right. In 2016, a Los Angeles man had considered starting a dog walking business, but didn't want to deal with the poop. So he pivoted to doing what instead? A. Becoming a dog food sommelier who provides samples and recommend wines for your dog. B, a dog impersonation service. He'll act as your dog in a furry suit for 10 bucks an hour. Or C, he started the first ever people walking business. He'll take you out for seven bucks a mile. I think it is A, he is a dog sommelier, and he has fancy foods and alcohol-free grape water juice. So you think that people are asking people, like, what pairs with Alpo?

What pairs? Oh, with wine? I thought it was food, too. No, it's just wine. Wine for dogs. Okay, I'm going to go with people walk, but for seven walks a mile, I think he's really cutting himself short. I love the fact that you knew enough that, A, you knew what he was doing, and B, you knew he was undercharging people. That is a Stanford Graduate School of Business instructor, ladies and gentlemen. You're right. That's what it was. And apparently, there were a lot of people who wanted to take him up on it.

People wanted to go for walks with company. Yeah, I can see that. Bill, how did Tyra Banks do in our quiz? Tyra did very well, two out of three. And she'll be waltzing and dancing with the stars. Congratulations. Thank you. Now you know how people feel when they win your competition.

Totally. I feel like great. Tyra Banks is a model, actor, host, bestselling author, and you can next see her as the host of this season of Dancing with the Stars, Mondays on ABC. Tyra Banks, what a joy to talk to you. Thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Take care and thanks again and good luck with the show. Thank you so much. Bye. you so much. Bye. In just a minute, Bill promises the snozzberries taste just like snozzberries in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Some days, reading a bunch of headlines just isn't enough.

You need to let the news sink in. On Consider This, NPR's new daily news podcast, we can help you do that. Each day, in about 10 minutes, you can find out not just what happened, but why and what it means. Consider This, new episodes every weekday afternoon from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Jesse Klein, Luke Burbank, and Adam Burke. And here again is your host, whose autobiography will now have a bunch of blank pages, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill finds a cure for his limericitis, a vaccine from GlaxoSmithRhyme. It's our listener limerick challenge. If you'd

like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, it is time for some more questions from this week's news. Luke, the center console in the cockpit of the popular Airbus A350 airplane is being redesigned after multiple flights

have had to make emergency landings when pilots did what? Stubbed their toe on it? No. Is it that there's no cup holder? As a matter of fact, Adam, that is in fact the problem. Wait, what? Hey, wait, can I get a hint?

What is the answer? The cup holders are so poor that this keeps happening. Oh, they spill their drink all over the electronics? Yes, exactly. They spill their coffee. Twice in the last eight months, pilots have spilled coffee on the center consoles of the A350, causing the engines to shut down mid-flight. The problem is the A350s, they cost more than $300 million, they carry 400 passengers,

and apparently they were designed with cup holders that are too small, and thus the coffee spills. Here's an idea. Sealed coffee thermos. And thus the coffee spills. Here's an idea. Sealed coffee thermos. If it's good enough for me in my 2017 Tiguan, how about you use it in the airplane cockpit? That's insane to me that the system has been. Here's a filled to the brim cup of coffee that you will then place atop the thing that's keeping us all in the air.

Put it next to your bisque lunch that we've packed. I have to say, this is very anxiety-producing information, and now I'm going to have to cancel all the trips I currently have planned. Oh, just kidding. Instead of spending millions of dollars to repair this, they're just going to give each pilot an enormous bag of rice to put the whole plane in. Luke, a driver in Kentucky was pulled over and fined after police noted something odd about his license plate. What?

Did it indicate his sort of nefarious ways or law-breaking ways? Is that what was weird about the license plate? Like in the custom message? No. The vanity message? No. Was it a vanity plate? It was not a vanity plate.

Well, I'll give you a hint. It was a work that critics are saying he did during his fraud period. Oh, it was a fake license plate? Yes. It was a fake hand-drawn license plate. When police officers pulled over this guy, they knew something wasn't right about the plate, but they couldn't quite put their finger on it. Then when they did put their finger on it. Then when they did put their finger on it,

it smudged because it was drawn in a Sharpie. It's a pretty good drawing. It looked real. He drew the numbers, a little Kentucky State logo. The only thing that gave it away, and this is true,

is he forgot to draw the registration sticker. That's how you know he was a novice. The first thing you learn in art school is always draw the registration sticker.

Peter, I think you're being pretty generous and saying it was a good drawing i saw the picture of this don't have to you don't have to be sherlock holmes the words child scrawl come to mind i mean my son actually does love to draw license plates because it's obsessed with cars Get him ready for adulthood. I'm going to say he could give this guy a red for his money. It didn't help that he wrote, this is a real license plate. Yeah, right.

So it's a dead giveaway. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. And check out the Wait Wait Quiz for your smart speaker. It's out every Wednesday with me and Bill asking you questions and listening to your answers because, let's be honest, when's the last time someone listened to you? I mean, really listened.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi. Hi, who's this? This is Maggie. I'm calling from Rockport, Texas. Rockport, Texas. What do you do there? I'm in the public service industry. I go and I smile at people and they don't know that I'm smiling because I have a mask on. I see. Have you ever tried smizing? Trademark Tyra Banks. You know, now that you mention it, it's on my to-do list. Well, welcome to the show, Maggie. Bill Curtis is now going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly and two of the limericks will be a big winner. You ready to play? I'm ready. All right. Here's your first limerick.

It's a Wonka dream, not Machiavelli's scheme. When you win this, you won't keep your belly lean. You'll make your own gummies to fill up our tummies. Win a factory. Where you'll make? Jelly beans? Jelly beans. Very good. Absolutely, Maggie. With the new

Jelly Belly Sweepstakes, you can finally achieve the dream of every child everywhere operating a factory in Florida. One of the founders of Jelly Belly is choosing his successor through a Willy Wonka-like golden ticket contest, where one lucky winner gets the deed to their own candy factory and four loser children will be tortured in amusingly ironic ways. Now, to participate in this contest, I know you're all excited. You just purchase a clue. You have to purchase the clue from their website, which will lead you to the location of the

golden ticket in your state. There are 50 of them, and one of them will provide the keys to the candy factory in Florida, which does not come, sadly, with a glass elevator, but does come with a lifetime supply of cost analysis spreadsheets to determine acceptable profit margins under a recession. Magic! It does sound like a nightmare. It really does. You go from being nine years old and all of a sudden you're in trade union negotiations. Yeah, it's terrible. It's like, oh, hi, welcome. Here's your corner office. And by the way, the senior Oompa Loompa has been accused of sexual harassment. You'll be meeting with the lawyers at 11.

And not to in any way rain on the parade, but I believe there is a small detail to this, which is the guy is no longer associated with the Jelly Belly Company. He sold his steak. Yeah. And so Jelly Belly has had to release a statement clarifying that they're not going to give you

a jelly bean factory. So wait a minute. So if he's not really giving away a Jelly Belly has had to release a statement clarifying that they're not going to give you a Jelly Bean Factory. So wait a minute. So if he's not really giving away a Jelly Belly Factory, what is he giving away? He's giving away what he has called a, I think like, it's a food health certified facility. In other words, you can make food there. But that's all the details he'll give you. Right. So it's not even a Jelly Belly Factory that you have to run.

It's just like a factory that you can bring up to code. Yes. I've got the golden ticket. Actually, the winner is whoever finds the golden subpoena. Exactly. Very good, Maggie. Here is your next limerick. When it comes to food, it is the best you want.

And as maitre d', you would request your aunt. Everyone's looking for scrumptious home cooking. So turn your house into a... Oh, a restaurant? Exactly. A new long California will allow chefs to open mini restaurants in their homes in lieu of their maxi restaurants on the street. It's a great opportunity for anyone who is tired of going to real restaurants to get the virus.

Now you can just do that in the comfort of a stranger's home. You can go to the White Castle in a beige duplex. It's just getting more and more appetizing by the second. How is this an improvement? Well, the idea is, of course, that restaurants can't open with the pandemic. So there's a compromise. They said, okay, chefs now can have small gatherings in their homes, which is legal, and they can charge for them. Do I still have to pretend to offer to help clean up?

If I'm a guest at the home, do I have to do that little fake out move of like, what can I do? No, I think you're paying you're allowed to get up and leave. It sounds like all my favorite things about restaurants, only now I have to take off my shoes and bring a bottle of wine I don't get to drink. All right. Very good, Maggie. Here is your last limerick. Our dentists see reason to pause. Teeth are cracking, and we know the cause. COVID's a mess, and it's causing you stress.

And since March, you've been clenching your... Jaws? Yes, jaws! It seems we're all trying to grin and bear it a little bit too hard. One dentist in Manhattan wrote in the New York Times that she's treated more broken teeth since reopening her practice in June than she did in the six years prior. She attributes the broken teeth to stress and families trying to supplement their income with tooth fairy cash. Now, when an American Dentistry Association spokesman was asked if the pandemic could actually be causing this epidemic of clenched teeth and thus broken teeth, he replied, I don't know. It's odd.

I don't know what's causing this. Do you ever just like notice you've been clenching your jaw for 22 years? Well, I've, you know, I don't clench my teeth. I have punched all these holes in the wall. Yes. Bill, how did Maggie do on our quiz? You know, I don't clench my teeth. I have punched all these holes in the wall, so if that's something, could that be connected? Bill, how did Maggie do on our quiz? Maggie did great. She got them all right.

A perfect score. Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Congratulations, Maggie. Thank you guys for having me. Y'all have a wonderful weekend. Thank you so much, Maggie. You too.

Bye, Maggie. You too. Hi, Maggie. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Jesse has two, Adam has three, and Luke is tied with three. So, Jesse, you are in third place, so you get to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill-in-the-blank.

On Tuesday, the Justice Department announced plans to defend blank against E. Jean Carroll's defamation suit. Donald Trump. Right. On Sunday, several cities in blank recorded their highest temperature on record. Los Angeles. California. California. This week, several Republican senators said they doubted a new blank relief bill would be passed before the election.

Economic. COVID. Yeah, COVID relief bill. This week, a lawmaker in the U.K. assured the press that a new economic plan would only blank in a, quote, limited way. I don't know. Would only break international law in a limited way. On Tuesday, electric car company Blank saw its biggest one-day stock market drop ever. Tesla?

Yes. On Thursday, former Fox News host Blank launched her own media company. Megyn Kelly? Yes, she's doing a podcast. They all do podcasts in the end. This week, a man in France trying to swat a fly accidentally blanked. Died super dead. No, he accidentally blew up his own house.

Perfect. The man was using an electric fly swatter, but when he reached the kitchen chasing the fly, the spark ignited the open gas on the stove, causing a huge explosion that destroyed a large part of the house, which led to the ultimate good news, bad news conversation with his wife. Here's the good news, honey. I'm relatively confident that fly is dead.

Well, at least it wasn't a gender reveal party. Exactly. That's actually less embarrassing than a gender reveal party blowing up his house. Bill, how did Jessie do in our quiz? She had five right for ten more points. She now has 12, and that gives her the lead. All right.

I'm going to arbitrarily say Luke is up next. Luke fell in the blank on Tuesday. Researchers confirmed that the blank rally in South Dakota was a COVID super spreader event. Sturgis motorcycle. Yes. Ted Cruz, Tom Cotton, and Josh Hawley were all on President Trump's short list for blank, which he announced on Wednesday. Sturgis Motorcycle. Supreme Court. Right. Two days after reaching temperatures of 101 degrees, residents in Denver were warned to look out for blank.

Snow. Yes. This week, Microsoft said that hackers from Russia, China, and Iran had stepped up their efforts to target the 2020 blank. Election. Election. Right. This week, a passenger in a flight in Ukraine got tired waiting for a gate to open up and blanked. Opened the emergency door and went walking on the wing. Very good.

For the first time since March, late-night sketch show blank will be returning to NBC Studios. Jimmy Fallon. No, Saturday Night Live. On Sunday, tennis star Novak Djokovic was disqualified from the U.S. Open after accidentally blanking. Nailing a ball boy in the jugular. Close enough it was a line judge, though it may have been a typo. A Rhode Island newspaper reported a local bank donated thousands of dollars to 15 local blanks. Other banks.

No, they donated thousands of dollars to 15 local food panties. That was the headline of the Warwick Beacon. Bank RI assists 15 food panties with a $7,500 donation, which in these troubled times is peace of mind. The last thing anyone wants is a cabbage or ribeye steak without underwear. I'd say don't put food panties

into your internet search, listeners of America. I need you guys to put food panties into your internet search, listeners of America. I need you guys to stop saying panties immediately. Bill, Luke, I think, did pretty well. How well did he do? He's coming on strong. He had six right for 12 more points. He now has 15, and that's the lead.

All right. That means that Adam needs how much to win? Six to tie, seven to win. All right. Tall order, Adam. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a DHS whistleblower said he was asked to downplay blank's election meddling.

Rushes. Right. After a volunteer fell ill, AstraZeneca paused trials of their new blank vaccine. COVID. Right. According to a new CNBC poll, 55% of likely voters think blank is mentally unfit to be president. Donald Trump. Joe Biden.

Right. Blowing up his coffin for a gender reveal party. No, by burying him in a giant pack of juicy fruit gum. On Thursday, NASA announced it would pay companies to collect rocks from the blank... Moon? Yes, according to a new report, 52% of young adults are blanking with their parents,

the highest amount since the Great Depression. Living. Right, a sheriff's deputy in Georgia lost some paperwork this week after she left her car door open and blank. They all flew out the window. No. They all flew out.

A goat jumped into the cruiser and ate it. The officer left her car door open while she served some civil forms to a nearby house, and when she returned, a goat was in her passenger seat eating all the paperwork. The goat then knocked the deputy onto the ground, and there was a struggle. It's hard to tell exactly what happened because the officer says the goat also ate her body camera. And people thought I was crazy for training that goat. Now they can't press charges. Bill, how did Adam do in our quiz?

Well, he got six right for 12 more points. That means he has 15, and he and Luke are tied for the win! Congratulations, guys! I hope that provides some punctuation to another meaningless span of time. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists, now that the Kardashians are going away, what will be the next big reality show?

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEC Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions' Doug Berman Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our house manager is Gianna Capodona. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our house manager is Gianna Capodona. We want to give a warm welcome to our new intern, Darius Cook, and we hope someday to be in the same room with you.

Our social media manager is Emma Day, and our web guru is Beth Novy. BJ Lederman, composer, our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Our national security advisor is Peter Gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our Business and Ops Manager is Colin Miller. Our Production Manager is Robert Newhouse.

Our Senior Producer is Ian Chilog and the Executive Producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Tanktop-Stanforth. Now panel, what will be the next big reality show?

Adam Burke. The next hit reality show will be Beverly Hills 2019, set in the bizarre, decadent world of a year ago, preaching such outrageous behavior as full contact, hugging kisses that aren't air kisses and people throwing wine in each other

at a distance of less than six feet. Luke Burbank keeping up with the Fauci's. No, seriously. Has anybody seen him? Is he okay? This is big. Jesse Klein.

I think it's just going to be pictures of cell phones. Well, if it is, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks so much, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Jesse Klein, Adam Burke, and Luke Burbank. Thanks to all of you for listening. Knowing you'll be here gets us through the week. I hope we do the same for you. I'm Peter Sagal.

We'll see you the week. I hope we do the same for you. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.