Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Wait Wait's Letter from the Editors V

Episode Date: December 9, 2020

A bonus podcast featuring material from Wait Wait's cutting room floor. This week our most juvenile podcast yet. Beware of bad words and bodily functions galore.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Three, two, one. Oh, there he goes. Welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me's Letter from the Editors, where we bring you stuff we recorded for the show, but had to cut. Testing, testing, testing. You're going in and out. You might need to call me down. One, two, three, four, five microphones. Okay, so hold on, let, testing. You're going in and out. You might need to call me, Dan. One, two, three, four, five microphones. Okay, so hold on. Let me dial.

Check, check, check, check. Wait. You're meeting me. Yeah. What if I stop my video? Check, check, check. Sorry, this is a disaster. But can you hear me anyway? We'll be right back. Welcome to this week's Letter from the Editors. I'm Mike, and I'm here with Jennifer.

Hello. We are two of the show's editors or producers. We're the people that cut out all the bad stuff and put it right here for you. And Mike, I will argue this week that there's a lot of bad stuff that we cut out. This might be our worst bonus podcast yet. And it sort of feels like don't let your kids listen to this one, but also that maybe your kids made this one. It's sort of a weird balance. So on this episode, you're going to hear bodily functions, bodily urges. And you're also going to hear some bad words again. And

we're just really sorry about all this. So first up, we have for you a conversation that happened after a question about scented candles and people with COVID-19 not being able to smell them. Here's more from our panel, Faith Saley, Eugene Cordero, Jesse Klein. And this week, because Peter Sagal just had a baby boy, our guest host, Maz Gibrani. All right, Jesse, let's move on. Sorry, can I just say one more thing? Yes. I mean, while we're talking about smells, God knows I'm grateful I haven't had COVID, but I'm talking with a bunch of parents here. Do you, with your children home, are you astonished at how flatulent they are? I had no idea. And when people talk about teachers being heroes, this is why.

Teachers sit with kids' farts all day. Yeah. Do they seem fartier than normal? Well, I'm with them more. Yeah. Faith, as a father, I go the other way. My kids are finding out how farty I am. Yeah. By the way, the reason I fart so much is because I just want to test to see if they've got COVID. Right. It's one of those rapid tests. Hey, that's what a father does. The father does what he can do. In LA, because they've run out of

funds, they've asked me to go to Dodger Stadium and I just stand there as cars pull up and I just fart. And if they smell it, they're okay. Oh, yeah. I think I saw you in Echo Park in a telephone booth and you were one of the walk-up tests, right? Absolutely.

You're welcome, Los Angeles. All right. The next thing we have for you is a question. This one was cut from the show. See if you can figure out why. Eugene, new research shows that just like us, the T-Rex experienced what rite of passage? What rites of passage? Like us.

Here's a hint. I'm noticing some scary changes in my scary body. Oh, whoa. T-Rexes had puberty? Yes, sir, they did. Yes. Who would have thought? We all know if you saw Jurassic Park that dinosaurs just go roar.

But did you know that they also used to go roar? Does that mean that, like, teenage boy dinosaurs were just secretly masturbating in their room? Jesse, Jesse, have you seen a T-Rex? Have you seen how short their arms are? Their arms are so short. That's true. They do have very short arms. Yeah, but teenage boys.

But teenagers will go to great lengths. They will go to great lengths. The advantage of those short arms are, I'm guessing, their body odor thing. Maybe they didn't have those problems that most teenagers have. But if they did have deodorant, what would it be called? Like really, really old spice? I will say in these dark, bleak days, it's giving me a lot of joy to just picture a T-Rex with like a tuft of armpit hair. And using its teeny tiny arms to slam a door somewhere.

Mom. I hate you, Mom. I hope you die by a meteor. I don't know. Regret city. Don't say it. Okay, this next question is the one we warned you about. This one has the bad word,

and it also has words that sound bad, but are not. So if you have people who are sensitive listeners. Or if you're at a funeral, or a wedding, or in a church. Maybe you're at a funeral or a wedding or in a church. Maybe you're at a church with your family and you think, well, let's listen to a podcast

to spend some time together in this church. Maybe don't. This isn't the one. Maybe do it in the car on the way home. Save it for later or put on your headphones. All right, a question for Jesse. Jesse, after centuries of ridicule, a town in Austria is finally changing its name. What town?

All I can think of are Nazi jokes. What town? Fartsville. You're on the right path. Here's a hint. As of January 1st, this is your hint. As of January 1st, the town's new name will be Fuging. Oh, so wait, should I not say the name of the town? Try it. Say it. The fucking town? Yes.

Yes. It's Fuging. Is there an umlaut? Oh, my God, Maz? I'm so happy that you're going to do this. I got really nervous. I don't want to break any rules. You're not breaking rules. It's Fueking. It's not us. The town is named Fueking. Let me explain to our listeners and the FCC that this is a real town about 20 miles north of Salzburg. And while we can't spell the town's name for you, we assume that it's pronounced Fugging. Nothing wrong with saying a real Austrian place name, NPR legal department. So as of January 1st, the town will officially

change its name to Fugging, F-U-G-G-I-N-G, which I have to say is not nearly a big enough change. You want people to stop making fun of you? Change your name to Elmdale or Salzburg Heights or something. Yeah, it feels like they could have just gone in a whole new direction. Listen, the town has had its name since the 1100s, but after years and years of mockery, The town has had its name since the 1100s, but after years and years of mockery, every fuking resident is sick and tired of people making fuking jokes and tourists stealing all the fuking signs. So the whole fuking town council met to approve a resolution to change its name. Even the fuking mayor supports this change.

That's right, the fuking mayor!