Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - We admire dimes and Aasif Mandvi gives breakup advice

Episode Date: March 21, 2026

This week, we talk new dimes and where to spend them, and special guest Aasif Mandvi tells us the best way to get over an ex.To manage podcast ad preferences, review the links below:See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the voice so hot, the mic drops itself. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. Oh, thank you, everybody. Great to see you. Thank you so much.

Later on, today, we're going to be talking to former Daily Show correspondent. at Asif Manvi, who left that show in 2017 to star in TV shows and movies and plays in which he didn't have to talk at all about the news. The man has timing. So, give us a call before we figure out a way out. The number to call is 1-3-8-8-Wa-W-W-Wight. That's 1-88-9-24-8-9-24.

It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. This is Grace, and I'm calling from Peachham, Vermont. Peacham, Vermont. I'm going to say that if I wrote like a TV show set in a fictional but charming Vermont town, I'd probably call it Peacham. Is it what I imagine? Is it beautiful and verdant and filled with interesting people, Grace?

You bet it is. It's a beautiful place. It's a hill town. About an hour south of Quebec and 20 miles from the nearest Starbucks. Whoa. Whoa. Well, Grace, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's the comedian.

You can see April 9th at Tulalip Casino in Seattle and April 27th through May 3rd at the Comedy Cellar at the Rio in Las Vegas. It's Alonzo Bowden. Hello, Grace. Oh, hello, Alamelo. Next, she's a comedian you can see in Frederick, Maryland on April 17th at the Weinberg Center for the Arts

and host of the podcast, nobody listens to Paula Poundstone. It's Paula Poundstone. Grace. Love you, girl. And finally making his debut on our show. It's a comedian whose podcast Coastal Idiots can be heard every Tuesday on all the platforms. And you could catch him at the Den Theater

here in Chicago. As part of the Windy City Comedy Festival on August 6th, it's Shane Torres. Hi, Grace. How are you? Hi, Shane. That's the news to you. So, Grace, you're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you

three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Oh, yeah, I'm ready. Here we go. Your first quote is about the new trend of people gambling on reality TV.

Is it legal to take a vote to Fiji and watch the finalists on the beach with binoculars? That was a question the New York Times asked. After news, that people are now betting on the outcome of what reality show? Oh, gosh, I need a hint. Well, you can also bet on things like how many times Jeff Probe? says, come on in, guys. Survivor? Survivor, yes.

The prediction markets, like Polly Market and Kalshi, they're now taking bets on the outcome of reality shows, meaning someday, you might hear a small child say, Daddy had to sell the house because Kayla won the Bachelor. So this is... So, Peter, let me ask you. Yes. Can I put a bet down now on this show?

Sure. Why not? I'm all in on Paula Poundstone. I think really. The odds, man. You can't get good odds on Paula. Yeah. If there's some sort of reality show theme during this show,

I'm definitely going to be the winner. Exactly. I'm just going to say, as an experienced gambler from way back, betting on reality shows, reality shows, that's for amateurs. I put $40,000 on young Sheldon dying in a fire. So thanks to these new prediction markets, you can now bet on almost literally anything, the opening box office of the new Avengers movie.

You can bet on that, the highest temperature in Des Moines, Iowa next month. There is, this is true, a big bet on Polly Market right now on whether or not Jesus will return by the end of this year. You can bet on that. I mean, they supposedly, it's all legit, but it's a little suspicious

that a guy with the screen named Papa Leo 14 has half a million on no. If we were culling, you know, if we were, you know, like the... Trying to remove the less, shall we say, productive members of society. Then I say you just find whoever made a bet on that at all. Yeah. And that's the first batch. You need to go. And, you know, it's not a popularity contest.

We will, you know, we do, we round them up. Yeah. We put them on an island, and then we bet on that. Here's your next quote. Why are we wasting money making these? Two nickels work just fine. That was a commenter in the ABC News affiliate talking about the new what being made by the U.S. Mint.

The new dime? Yes, dimes. Dimes, yes. In honor of the nation, 250th anniversary, the U.S. Mint has begun shipping out shiny new dimes. And on the front of the new dime is a profile of Lady Liberty that has replaced the old profile of FDR. It turns out we are allowed to have women on currency as long as the woman is imaginary. Sad but true. He's just stating a fact. People, it's a little controversial because the eagle on the back

used to hold arrows in an olive branch, but they have now gotten rid of the olive branch so it's more warlike, and people are like, ah, this is Trump again, he's doing this. But no, it was actually designed under Joe Biden. In fact, Joe Biden unveiled the new dime by pulling it from behind your ear and telling you not to spend it all in one place.

I think it's funny that the dime is controversial because I suspect they could have rolled out the new dimes and not said anything, and no one would have noticed. That's true. Nobody would have liked it. When have you last looked at a dime? When's the last time you used a dime? Well, now they're going to have to bring back pay phones, so we have something to do with it. That's true.

I loved pay phones. Like in an airport when you can get the kind that had the seat in it. Oh, yeah. You could close the door. The lap of luxury in there. It was, yeah, it was like a refuge. I'd get in there with my phone book and just have it at it. What's a pay phone?

Yeah. Yeah, all we... I'm a little younger. All the Gen Z listeners just, oh, there they go again. Yeah, there they are. Talking about how good it used to me. Hey, phones. Yeah.

Well, even mentioning a phone book to a Gen Zier, you have to explain. It's a book that darks to everyone. All right, we have one more quote for you. This is from the spokesperson for a mysterious artist who, until now, we've known only by his pseudonym. The artist has decided. to say nothing. That artist was staying silent after his identity was finally revealed this week. Who is it?

Another one? Did you take out? Oh, somebody help me. I have another hand. I have another hand. He is famous for the paintings he puts up on the sides of buildings, including, appropriately. Banksy.

Banksy, yes. Banksy. An investigation by Reuters has finally revealed the real, identity of Banksy. His real name is Robin Gunningham, which I guess explains why he calls himself Banksy. It's going to be so weird now. He was this mysterious figure. Now he's just a guy. He'll be taken out the trash. And his neighbors will be like, hey, Robin Gunningham. Saw your devastating social commentary last week. Nicely done. You think his neighbors are like, so that's why there were so many spray cans. Yeah. I wonder. Every week in the trash. We just thought he was huffing it.

Yeah. So how does this, how does this affect the value of his work? That is a good question. Art collectors have wondered if this revelation might negatively affect the prices of Banksy's work. He's no longer that mysterious. Yeah, did with Rembrandt. Yeah, true.

One Banksy dealer doesn't think so, quote, My clients buy Banksy's art because of the art itself, he said, lying. It's disappointing. It's just some random guy. It would have been so fun if they were like, we can finally reveal the real identity of fame to street artist Banksy, and it is Shaquille O'Neal?

Bill, how did Grace do on our quiz, ultimately? Grace, you got there to Vengeably. You are a winner. Yay. Thank you, Grace. For much. Take care. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the week's news.

Shane Clavicular is the now famous looks-maxing influencer. He's done everything to improve his appearance up to and including smashing the bones in his face. According to a report, we saw this week he had a very surprising fan who was it? Oh my God. Please. Somebody yelled Paul the Poundstone.

That would be arguably even more surprising, but it's not Paula. I would love any kind of thing, please. We don't know if his son has inherited this enthusiasm along with the leadership of Iran's revolutionary council. Oh, the new leader. for the new president. No, actually the old one.

Oh. The, yes, the now late supreme leader of Iran. According to a website called Tehran Dispatch, which seems to offer otherwise very serious reports about things going on in Iran, the late Ayatola watched

300 hours of content from online insane person clavicular. This is very surprising because the Ayatola wasn't even that hot. According to one of the Ayatollah's associates familiar with the discovery, quote,

there are aspects of a man's private life that are between him and God. According to God, quote, please don't drag me into this. I bet God says that a lot. Probably. Particularly now. Yeah, God wears a T-shirt that says that. I wonder if he was watching it or was his wife like,

hey, look at this. Yeah. Hey, look at this. Have you ever considered shame? Have you ever considered shaving the beard maybe? Could you put the hat a skew? Yeah, a little bit. A little cocky kind of thing, yeah.

Anyway, meanwhile, when asked for a comment on this, clavicular said, quote, What's Iran? You're so pretty. Oh, so pretty. You really knocked me off my feet. Coming up, our panelists take a bite out of the big apple in our bluff to listener game. Call 1-8-8 Wait-W-W-W-W-T-W-T-Leg to play.

We'll be back in a minute with more. Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, from NPR. From NPR and WVEC, Chicago, this is, Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Shane Torres, Alonzo Bowden, and the one-and-only Paula Poundstone. And here we're going to be a lot of you. for a host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Segal.

Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-8 Wait-Wait-Wait to Play Our Game on the Air. How you're on, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me. Hi, Peter. This is Dimitri from Elon, North Carolina. Elon, North Carolina. How many signatures does the petition to change the town's name have at this point?

Trust me, the school. definitely have done a little bit of a rebrand. Yeah. Oh, yes, Elon University, right? Yes. Yes. Are you a student there? I just graduated from their law school back in December. Oh, really? That's awesome. Congratulations. Thank you.

And what kind of law do you anticipate doing? If I was to practice, I would want to do civil rights or try to work for government agencies to make sure that, you know, things work well and work the way they're supposed to. I'm glad, I'm glad at least one person wants that to happen. I hope you get that job. Dmitri, it's nice to have you with us.

You're going to play the game when you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Dmitri's topic? Give my regards to Broadway. You never know what might happen on a trip to New York City. You could run into a celebrity. You could step in any number of mystery puddles. Our panelists are going to tell you about one tourist trip to the big apple that is so memorable that made the news. Pick the one who's telling the truth you'll win our prize.

the wait waiter of your choice and your voicemail. You ready to play? Sure I am. All right, first let's hear from Alonzo Bowden. When Connor Langley from Dalzell, South Carolina, told his friends and neighbors he was going to New York for the first time, he was warned New York was a dangerous town, where nothing was green and everyone was dangerous. Prepared for the worst, Connor hit New York,

and immediately he was struck by how aggressive the city was. Aggressively nice. When lost at a train station and the old, The older lady helped him get to his hostel in Brooklyn. When staring up the Empire State Building, he realized he was in someone's way when a man yelled, hey, I'm walking here. Step aside and enjoy the beauty of our city, my friend. At Central Park, he asked a lady why New York had such a reputation for being mean when the people were so nice.

And she said it was a weird thing about New York. The people are nice, but to protect that, they act mean. Connor just nodded and asked where to get some bad pizza because he was told even the bad pizza was actually pretty good. A man is stunned to find New Yorkers are filled with kind, helpful people who will give you the time of day. Your next New York Minute comes from Shane Torres. Many artists dream of making it big in New York City.

This is no different for Fletchwing Swedish metal band Dandthurcott, roughly translated to death breath. who this week ended their three-week American tour with a show in New York. As the band pulled up to the venue for a sound check, they could not believe the enormity of it. After playing 200, 300-300 capacity rooms the whole tour, they were now pulling up to the Javitt Center, an enormous convention center in Manhattan. But no, Donder Cott did not hit it big overnight. This was all a result of mistaken identity, as the band had been booked to play a dental convention.

Because Donderkot translates to death breath, the slang term dentist used for halitosis, one organizer wrongly assumed the band was dental metal, not death metal. But they went ahead and played a signature song like, mouth of hell, and you are the cavity of my soul, to over 3,000 dentists, aka new fans. When asked by the website, Metal Injection, what he thought about the gig, frontman Jan Skarsgar said,

I loved it. These dinners are way more disturbed than any of our regular fans. A Swedish death metal band ends up entertaining 3,000 dentists at the Javitt Center. Your last story from the city that never sleeps comes from Paula Poundstone. Faisal, Mons, of Schemmerhofen, Germany, came to New York City on holiday in August of 2024 to take his bite out of the Big Apple.

By the time he left, he was seeking 20 million in damages. Quite a bite. In fact, Mr. Monses' alleged out-of-towner Odyssey of Mistreatment began when he took a bit of, bite of a taco from Los Tacos number one on 43rd Street, where he says his tongue and mouth were burning and immediately worsening to gastrointestinal and emotional distress. So he sued. Days later, he tried to use his phone inside the Walmart Super Center in Seacococ, New Jersey, probably to buy some peptobismal. His phone wouldn't work inside the Walmart. So he sued. This week, all of Mr. Mons's

cases were dismissed, but with international tourism at such a dismal low, the possibility of luring foreigners back to the big apple with a sue the crap out of New York City tour, shouldn't be tossed aside. All right.

Here are your choices. Somebody had a memorable trip to New York. Was it from Alonzo, a person who came expecting the worst, but received the best, so much so that he told the news about it. From Shane Torres, a Swedish death metal band found itself at the Javitt Center, an enormous place filled with Dennis, but was a hit anyway, or from Paula, a German tourist who came to New York City, and Sycoccus, New Jersey for the

sites at such a terrible time, he sued everybody for $20 million. Which of these was the real story we found in the news about a trip to New York City? I'm not saying this is the real one, but all those stories sounded like a tort hypothetical that I know a lot of the one else went through a couple months ago. but I think along those stories the true one. All right. Well, to bring you the correct answer,

we talked to someone who reported on it. The green salsa atlostakis number one is not out of this world spicy. But it did cause this German tourist intestinal distress. That was Christopher Mogg, a journalist on the Metro desk at the New York Times, talking about that German tourist's tour

of the American legal system. So what I have to tell you, sir, is that Paula's story was not a hypothetical. So you didn't win, but you earned a point for Alonzo for telling a charming story about his own native city. Thank you so much for playing, and good luck as you navigate

the even weirder things that happen in real life. Thank you. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Take the bottle, pop that cork, All the deadliest sins are like one night in New York. And now the game where we ask people who've done a lot to do something else.

We call it not my job. Now, if you're like me, you first became a fan of Asif Manvi during his long run as a correspondent with The Daily Show with John Stewart. But again, if you're like me, you may not have known that he's also a long-time working actor with roles in TV, film, and theater. Right now, he is starring in a new, comedy on Peacock called The Miniature Wife,

and he's rehearsing for a revival of Noel Cowards Fallen Angels on Broadway. Asif Manvi, welcome to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Thank you. It's great to finally talk to you after watching you for so many years. Like I said, I always love hearing stories about, like, actors who were at it for a while and paid their dues. I heard this remarkable story after starting at a Disney theme park, which I love. You ended up in New York, and you did a whole bunch of jobs,

and I love this, including you, worked for a company that put on, like, murder mystery parties? Yeah, yeah. I used to perform in murder mysteries where we would go undercut, like, sort of incognito, into these parties, and then someone would get killed. And one of the most infamous ones that I ever did was at an Orthodox Jewish, meet they were

trying to meet people to get married like a singles meetup matchmaking a single's meetup thing right and we go in there and

I just want to pause and say somebody organized a singles meetup for Orthodox Jews and said to themselves you know it would make us

a really great eat yeah exactly if somebody were murdered yeah all right you're going there and so I just remember

that I was one of the other actors who I used to work with at the time was Connie Britton. And she was sort of chatting up this guy who I just remember was wearing a yellow suit

so that I'll tell you everything about him. And she was really chatting him up and he thought he had hit the jackpot. Right. He was like, this is like this beautiful woman is talking to me and then about 20 minutes into it she was killed by that.

I've had dates like that. I'm just sympathetic. You are going on Broadway in this revival of the Noel Coward play with the great Rose Byrne, among many others. The other thing you have coming out is a TV show on Peacock, a comedy called The Miniature Wife. And I have to say, I heard the title,

and I said to myself, oh, that must be like a metaphor. She's about a wife. She's maybe in the shadow of her husband. She feels small. That's not what it's about. No, no. No. It's about a man who has, he's a scientist who has designed a sort of a serum that can

miniaturize crops to come back climate change. So, you know, Matthew McFadden, who I love from Succession. Yeah. And the Elizabeth Banks, who I worked with many years ago in Williamstown, is literally six inches tall. all. Yes. And lives in the dollhouse. Yes. But they hate each other and they're

constantly trying to kill each other. So it's, Honey, I Shrunt the kids meets Tom and Jerry. Did you have to spend any time on set like crouching down and pretending you're talking to a six-inch high Elizabeth? Yes. Later in the season, Matthew hides the whole storyline of his

wife from me for a long time until he finally can't. And then there is a moment where he and I are both on the floor talking to a small cardboard cut out of Elizabeth Banks and they would sort of move her around and sort of pretend like she was walking.

One more question for you. Like I said at the beginning, I first knew you and became a big fan when you were on The Daily Show. But I heard a story, I don't know how this could be true, that you ended up appearing on the Daily Show the same day you auditioned for it?

Yeah. How is that even possible? A couple of days earlier, I had found out that my, ex-girlfriend had gotten engaged. And so I was very upset. And I was writing one of those letters. No.

You know, that you write to your ex-girlfriend saying how you... You know, you... I can't say that. Can I say that? You just did. It's all right. You'll figure it out. Anyway, so I'm writing this

and I get this call to come on audition for the Daily Show. And I was in such a bad place that I said, I can't come in today. I don't feel that can I come in tomorrow? And they said, no, if you don't come in today, then it's done. So I literally just, like, put on a suit, and I went in, and I honestly just had this, like, attitude of, like, I'm never going to get this. This is ridiculous.

Like, I'm in the wrong frame of mine. And John met me, and he said, and I was a little bit surly. And I said, because he said to me, he said, have you, you ever performed in front of a live audience? And I remember looking at him and just being like, dude, I've been on Broadway. and I had such But I just did my best Stephen Colbert impression because that's all I knew to do and I was a fan of the show

and he hired me right there on the spot and I was on the show that night and I didn't even get a chance to tell anybody and suddenly it was just, I was on the show and people were calling me and were like, there's a guy that looks a lot of you. He was on the Daily show tonight

and so I didn't even get to tell my family until after it was on. Did it comfort you, maybe given the circumstances the day, to know that maybe your ex-girlfriend would see you on this hit, incredibly, culturally significant TV show and think to herself, my God, what have I done? You know, it's so funny. Like, the minute I got The Daily Show,

I didn't really care about my ex-girlfriend that much. There you go. Less than free all, I just know. Asif Manvi, it's a pleasure to talk to you. We have asked you here today to play a game. We're calling... Miniature wife. Meet miniature groom.

So your new series is the miniature wife, and we're going to ask you about a place you usually find miniature brides and grooms on top of wedding cakes. Answer two or three questions correctly. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners. The voice of their choice and their voicemail, Bill, who is Asif Manvi playing for?

Linda Evers of Collinsville. Illinois. All right. Ready the plan? Sure. Here's your first question. Wedding cakes have been around since at least ancient Roman times, but the tradition back then was a little different. Instead of the bride and groom cutting the cake together, what would happen? A, the bride would throw the cake as far as she could, and the groom would go find it and bring it back. B, they would break the cake over the bride's head or C, they would put a live squirrel inside it and wait for it to eat its way out, thus cutting the cake. I'm going to go with B.

Yes, you're right. They would break the cake over the brides have. Oh, they lost a lot of good brides back then. All right, here's your next question. Wedding cakes, of course, are a tradition now. But if you were getting married in 17th century Europe, you and your guests would most likely be cutting into what at the wedding celebration. Would it be, A, what was known as the Brides Pie, a, savory pie.

filled with oysters, lamb testicles, and occasionally live snakes. B, potatoes, basically just dozens and dozens of potatoes, or C, just the air, or as wedding planners of the time called it a cake of the mind. I'm going to say that they would just cut into potatoes. Potatoes. They had a lot of potatoes at the time. No, it was actually A, the Brides Pie. According to Wikipedia, in addition to the other tasty things,

they would occasionally put a live snake there to, quote, help guests to pass the time in a wedding. I guess they did that because at the time, they needed entertainment and they had no DJs. Right, that's true. That is true. D.J. didn't come around until about the 1800s. Exactly true.

Yeah. You have one more chance. If you get this right, you win. The one tradition today that every wedding expert tells you just skip it. Don't do it is when the groom smashes the cake into the bride's face, right? The bride does it at the groom. One couple went so hard in the cake smashing bit

that after they cleaned up, this just happened in January, they did what? A, they did it again, smashing each other in the faces with the entree from dinner and then all the side dishes. B, they handed out cupcakes for their guests to smash on each other

to join the fun, or C, they got divorced. I'm going to go with the cupcakes. You're going to go with the cupcakes. The audience, you think got divorced? Is that what the audience? The audience thinks they got divorced. All right, I'll go with the audience.

And they're right. You have to listen to the audience. They're right. Bill, how did Asif Manvi do in our quiz? Asif got two right, and that makes him a winner. Congratulations. With a little help. We're all here to help each other.

It's a community. Asif Manvi is an actor that soon you can see on Broadway and Noel Coward's Fallen Angels starring April 19th. And also, if you don't know, want to go out on Peacocks the miniature wife, which starts streaming April 9th. Asif Manvi, what a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you for joining us. Take care. Break legs on Broadway. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Bye, bye.

In just a minute, Bill heads to space with his tonic and lime in our listener, Limerick Challenge. Call 1-3-8-Wait-W-W-W-W-W-D-Tel me. We'll be back in a minute with more. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, from NPR. From NPR. From NPR and WV-E-Z Chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Alonzo Bowden,

Shane Torres, and Paula Poundstone. And here we're getting your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Stable. Thank you, Bill, and just a minute, Bill gets all hopped up

on Limericks. It's our listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-2-4. That's 1-88-9-24. Right now, a panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Shane, appropriately,

for St. Patrick's Day, etiquette experts said this week that doing what at a party is actually fine? Pinching people? No, and also what would what would what would pinching have to do with St. Patrick's Day? If you don't wear green you get pinched yeah. Ah, I see. That's not a thing that just happened at my house. Right, no. That would be awful if that was like a terrible, I was very panicked for a whole. That was a terrible prank pulled on you by a mean older brother. Oh, yeah, I got to pinch it. Yeah. No, no, this is, there's an...

Another, what else could be done in a party? No, something related to the Irish. Oh, Irish Goodbye? Yes, Irish Goodbyes, it turns out, are fine. For those who don't know, an Irish goodbye is when you quietly leave a party without telling anyone. You just disappear. Some say that's bad manners, but some say it's good, but everybody can agree that the

Irish Goodbye is better than the nowhere else to go last one to leave. So people have said, well, the Irish Goodbye is very good. poor, poor manager, you should say goodbye to your hosts, but now a group of etiquette experts have agreed that in the right circumstances, it's actually the correct thing to do. I would think if you had a bunch of etiquette experts at your party, as long as they left, you wouldn't care how they did it. That's true. Do you guys do the Irish goodbye at a party? Do you guys, like, seek out the host, or do you like, I'm out? I've gone both ways, but as a host, I, I've been. I've been,

prefer people say goodbye. Okay. It's on the record now. If you're going to a party at Paula's house, let her know you're leaving. Yeah. Otherwise, you just turn around, people are gone. It's a little creepy. Yeah. But on the other hand, I have slipped out of other parties before. We've all done it. I think it depends on the size of the party. Exactly right. If it's a big party, why bother trying to find the person? It's okay. You can write them later. But if it's too small, you can't go. So like holiday party, somebody's house, totally fine. Anniversary dinner with your wife, she'll notice. Yeah.

Well, you write the letter. But she might be glad you left. That's true, depending how the dinner's going. Shane, a new study has found that birds around the world are picking up a fun new habit. Birds, it turns out, really like what? I need yodeling. Yodeling? I'm thinking, don't birds already yoddle? They say,

they don't yodel it. Do it, Shane, yodled. I'll give you a hint. Turns out it's not a coincidence. that bird nests are shaped like ashtrays. They love smoking? They love cigarettes, yeah. Have you ever seen a bird with a cigarette in its mouth and thought, where am I, Paris?

Researchers in Poland have studied songbirds, and they found that some have intentionally started building cigarette butts into their nests because the chemicals in tobacco repel parasites. The birds have figured that out. It works. It's a property. What do you mean the birds have figured that out?

I mean, this has always been true. It's why my great uncle never had to deal with head lice until the day he died of emphysema. So this is like an avian asbestos situation. It's like keeping things warm. The insulation from the cigarette butts would make their nest. No, no, no. They've actually, it turns out that they have figured out. They haven't figured out.

They're doing it. They're all doing it. This is happening all over the world. It doesn't mean they figured it out. Yeah. Birds are succumbing to peer pressure. That's what's happening. The birds are like other birds are smoking and like the crows are smoking and the crows are smoking and the finches are like well I want to look cool too. Yeah.

No, it's keeping up with the Red Wings Joneses. Yes. I actually go with you on this one, Peter. I think the birds have figured it out. I'm sorry, Paul. They haven't figured it out. I think the birds figured they said, you know what? They fly into windows.

The birds, they saw the birds with the cigarette butts. They were like, those are some prettier birds than us. Right. They talk to each other. They say, having a problem with parasites, try, you know, Marlboro. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Nine out of ten exterminators recommend Marlborough. Exactly. It's just a stupid story. This is actually been going on for years. I remember, I'm old enough to remember when birds actually had cigarettes inside restaurants. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call, or leave a message at 1-8-8. Wait, wait, wait. That's one 888-9248-924. You can catch us most weeks here at the Studio Baker Theater in Chicago, and you can come see us on the road. For example, we will be in Savannah, Georgia on March 26th. That's next week. Come out and see us Savannah for tickets and information to all our live events. Go to NPRPresents.org. Hi, you're on. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Sarah from Perkese, Pennsylvania. Perkassy, Pennsylvania. Is that where the phrase perky came from? Because you sound excited. No, I think it's supposed to mean like the one who cracks hickory nuts or something. Oh, yeah, sure, percacy, yeah, everybody knows that. Sarah, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis right here is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from Eage.

If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly and to the lemuricks, you'll be a winner. Ready to apply? Yep. Let's do it. Here is your first limerick. There's a comment in outer space ooze. That's a bit of a party boat. cruise. You better not

snitch that it's alcohol rich. The comet is filled up with booze. Booze. Yes. Scientists who are studying the interstellar comet 3i Atlas, which is currently zooming through our solar system, have discovered that it is full of alcohol.

Finally, a comet that has the sense to bring a bottle of wine when it pops by. Astronomers knew something was up when they saw it weaving all over the place on its way toward the sun. But for a comet like this to really work, it has to be followed by another comet made up entirely of mixed nuts. How do they know that the comet's filled with alcohol?

They went and had a sip. No, they... Do you find that as the show gets towards the end, the facts become a little iffy? No, it's like... I think it's as easy. The birds are smoking the... The comet is drinking. Everybody's stressed. Here's your next limerick.

In the evenings, my mind starts to scurry, and my focus on calm thoughts gets blurry. But I heed sage advice and put bad thoughts on ice until morning. I postpone my... Worry? Worry, yes.

According to a writer, in The Guardian, to combat anxiety and stress, all we need to do is stop worrying at exactly 6.30 p.m. And don't start worrying until the next morning. Yeah, it's easy. Because when 6.30 comes around, you just stop worrying.

A thing you do willingly and have total control over. Now, this advice came from a therapist who said he needed to have no worry time to give his brain a rest. He admits it's not easy, and it takes practice, and you have to go gradually, right? But after a couple of months of concentration and focus,

he was able to get all the way to 645 without starting to whimper. I think that's logical. I understand that it's easier said than done, but it does sound logical to me. There are times, even, you know, if you're worrying a lot, drink some water.

You'd be amazed how hydration changes your brain. This is like when I broke my ankle playing football and I was told to walk it off. Yeah. Here is your last limerick. On the surface, we bull sharks pretend that we're tough and alone till the end. But I hang with shark bros where the seawater flows. I get quality time with a...

Friend. Friend, yes. Researchers were stunned when they discovered that bull sharks have rich social lives and make friends. They made this discovery after observing a shark, take another shark to the airport. Scientists had thought that sharks lived mostly in isolation, except when, you know, feeding on prey. They observed sharks engaged in social interactions with each other, like parallel swimming or lead, follow behavior. That's what it's called.

And these bonds between the sharks remain strong unless, of course, they start a band together. I think that these researchers were watching one shark and they thought he was by himself. And that shark's buddy swam up behind them and shared the researcher. Really? And the researcher's last thought was, I'm glad they're friends. Bill, how did Sarah do in our quiz? Sarah will sleep well tonight. She got all three rights.

Congratulations, Sarah. Thank you. Well done. Thank you. Take care. on to our final game. Lightning, fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now with two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Paula has two, Shane and Alonzo each.

Oh my goodness. Paula, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question to fill in the blank. On Thursday, the UK said they were ready to join efforts to ensure safe passage through the straight of blank. Hormuz. Right. Hormuz. On Monday. Hormuz. A A federal judge temporarily blocked RFK Jr's changes to U.S. Blank policy. Vexi. Right. This week, the confirmation hearings for DHA secretary, Blank, began.

Mark Wayne Mullen. Right. For the ninth year in a row, Finland was named the world's blankest country. Happiest. Right. Good news for people who love the worst part of a pizza. Pizza Hut is hiring their first ever blank expert. Crush.

Right. On Thursday, NASA said they were hoping to launch the Artemis II mission to the blank on April 1. The moon. Wednesday, Jesse Holmes and his pack of dogs won their second blank race in Alaska. I did arrive. Right. This week, pedestrians in Japan were shocked when they spotted blank at a construction site. He spotted a blank at a...

Smoking birds. No, a mysterious... That's fine. The birds were on break. It was okay. No, they sought a mysterious 30-foot steel cylinder rising from the ground. Oh, yes. Residents of Osaka, Japan were baffled when in the middle of a busy road,

a 30-foot metal cylinder suddenly rose from the ground, halting traffic and prompting a citywide investigation. Since then, crews have managed to get most of the cylinder back underground, which means when it comes back up, it's going to be even angrier. Bill, I think Paula did rather well. Unbelievable. I can hardly get it out. Seven right, 14 more points.

Total of 16 puts Paula in the lead. There you are. So, uh... Because the others haven't gone yet. Yeah. Shane and Alonzo were tied. I'll pick Alonzo to go next. Here we go. On Wednesday, the Federal Reserve said they would keep blank rates unchanged.

Interest. Right. On Monday, President Trump suggested that Gavin Newsom couldn't be president because he is blank. What do you say? He's dyslexic? That's right. This week, Americans were concerned when the federal government registered the new domain name blank.gov.

Trump? No, aliens. dot go. According to a new study, a diet low and blank can slow cognitive decline. Well, obviously, I haven't been eating. Yeah, exactly. Peter, I don't know if you're aware that the NCAA tournament started this week. Yeah. Well, you've been busy.

You bugging me with all these questions. Sorry. It was a diet low in salt can slow cognitive decline on Tuesday. Venezuela beat the U.S. to win their first world blank title. Ah, world baseball. Yeah, world baseball classic. Like this week, a large bear walking into her shot interrupted an LATV reporter's story about blank. Bears.

Yes, bear attacks in the neighborhood. KTLA's Aaron Myers, who was reporting live from Monrovia, California, in a series of bear attacks when suddenly a bear wandered right into frame behind her as if to say, oh, my God, are you guys talking about me? Not only did Myers keep her cool, she also told viewers, quote, this is the second time a bear has shown up on live TV with me, which is probably a sign she should stop filling her pockets with salmon. Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz?

Four right. Eight more points, total of 11, and he trails Paula with 16. All right. So how many then does Shane need to win on his debut appearance on our show? Only seven to win. Here you go, Shane. You can do this. Oh, yeah, you got this. Sure, it'll be a breeze.

Rookie luck. Here we go. This is for the game, Shane. On Wednesday, Israeli officials pushed back on Trump's claim that he did not know about a strike on an oil field in blank. Iran? Right. According to a new study, smoking blank does not ease anxiety. Weed. Right. On Thursday, 12th seed high point, beat fifth seed Wisconsin in the first upset of the blank tournament. March Madness, right?

Yeah, NCAA. On Monday. Off to go cut down the nets? Yeah. On Monday, thousands of workers at a meatpacking plant walked off the job as part of the industry's first blank in 40 years. Years. Strike. Right. This week, Florida lawmakers voted to keep it legal in that state for blanks to marry. First cousins.

Yeah. According to new guidelines, experts suggest that people as young as 30 start taking drugs to lower blank. Blood pressure? No cholesterol on Sunday. Sinners and one battle after another with the big winners at the 2026 Blank Awards. Oscar. Right. This week, the passenger browsing the plush kangaroos at a Tasmanian airport was surprised to find blank. A real kangaroo? I don't know. Oh, so close. A real live possum.

The passenger says he was delighted when he caught the possum, cuddled up among the stuffed animals at the airport, and that the staff was equally excited. When they caught the wild animal and got him safely out of the airport, meanwhile, the possum was like, damn, I'm never going to make my flight now. Bill, Shane did well. Did he do well enough to win? Well, he got six right, 12 more points,

and his 15 comes one short. of Paula. Great showing. There you are, Paula. Coming up, our panelists predict, now that his identity has been revealed, what will the artist Banksy do next? But first, let me tell you that,

wait, wait, don't tell me, is a production of NPR and WBZ, Chicago, in association with urgent hair car productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, thanks to the staff and crew at the Stude Baker Theater,

B.J. Leiderman, composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles, Durmboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. If you say Peter Gwynn's name three times, he will appear. Peter Gwynn, Peter Gwynn, Peter Gwynn, our vibe curator is Emma Choy, technical directions from Lorna Wighter, CFO, is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse, our senior producer, is Ian Chilog and the executive producer. Wait, wait, don't tell me, is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will Banksy do next? Alonzo Bowden. Start a podcast. Why not? Shane Torres.

He'll be the next bachelorette. and Paula Poundstone. He's going to offer his services to elementary school children for their visual aids and their reports. Well, funny of that happens, panel. We're going to ask you about it and wait, wait, don't tell me.

Thank you so much, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Paula Pousson, Alonzo Bowden. A big thanks for Shane Torres for making a great debut in our show. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Baker Theater. Thanks to all of you out there, wherever you might be listening.

We're grateful for you. I'm Peter Sagan. We'll see you next week. Savannah, Georgia. This is NPR.