Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - We beef with the pontiff and admire the Stanley Cup

Episode Date: April 18, 2026

This week, Phil Pritchard, NHL's Keeper of the Stanley Cup, joins us to about taking the cup jet-skiing and panelists Alonzo Bodden, Adam Burke, and Dulcé Sloan beef with the Pope and get misdiagnosed. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the man they bring in when Bill Curtis gets busted for claiming Peter as a dependent. I'm Alzo Slade, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you. Great to see you. We do have a fine show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking for the first time ever on our show to a professional escort. That's right, the man who was paid to escort the Stanley Cup.

What did you think I meant? But first, it's your turn to come on and try to check me into the boards. Give us a call. The number is 1-3-8-8-W-W-W-T-W-E-W-T. That's 1-8-8-2-4. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait-Wait, don't tell me. Hi. Hi, who's this?

This is Jennifer. I live in Tampa, Florida. I am an E-L-C-A Lutheran pastor. Yeah, so. I think, and I'm not sure about it. this, but the one person who was excited about Tampa was also the same person excited about you being a Lutheran. So maybe it's a coincidence, maybe they're just really happy today. We don't know. Yes. Well, Jennifer, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First,

a comedian who will be appearing at the White Rabbit Cabaret in Indianapolis, Indiana, on Thursday, April 23rd. It's Adam Burke. Hi. Nice to me, Jennifer. Hi. Hi. Hi. Next up, you can see here. April 23rd through the 26th, that rooster tea feathers in San Jose, California, and May 8th at the Hollywood Improv with the Netflix is a joke festival. It's Dulcee Sloan. Hello. And a comedian you can see it.

And a comedian you can see at Suboba Casino in San Jacinto, California, April 24th. And the comedy seller in Las Vegas, April 27th through May 3rd. It's Alonzo Bowden. So Jennifer, Reverend Jennifer, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Alzo this time, Alzo Slade, filling in a little. for Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize.

Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Ready to go? Okay. Here is your first quote, Jennifer. It's from the president attacking a new rival this week. He's very weak on crime. Apparently, President Trump was upset about the high crime rate in Vatican City, as he took on who this week?

Hope Leo. Yes, the Pope. Or to use his technical title, the Pope. Yes, the President got into a beef with the Pope about the war in Iran, but who knew that the Pope was weak on crime? That was surprising. It also raises the question, do we want a tough on-crime Pope? Like, he takes your confession, and instead of seven Hail Mary's, he gives you the death penalty? And I got to say, if Breast's...

President Trump thinks the Pope is weak on crime, wait till he finds out about the Buddha. If you wanted any proof that Donald Trump knows nothing about history, he's starting to beef with an Italian guy from Chicago. Exactly. That never ends well. Well, it doesn't. An Italian guys from Chicago love beef. It's true. It's true.

And thinking about it, though, but actually, we thought about it, it'd be cool if the Pope did fight crime, right? It'd be exciting. Like, coming to Netflix this summer, only murders in the conclave. Well, they've already had murders in the conclave. That's true, yeah. That's how he kept getting new popes. Does Trump think he's weak on crime? Because last time it was in the Vatican, there was a bunch of guys nailed to wooden

everywhere. Hope didn't do anything about it. So he starts this beef with the Pope, and then he decides to, like, just, you know, throw some fuel in the fire. He posts a picture of himself as Jesus healing. the sick, and when he was criticized for this, he insisted, and this is true, oh, he's not supposed to be Jesus in the picture, don't you see? He's a doctor.

That's what he said, because whose doctor doesn't wear flowing white robes and treat you with glowing beams of light emanating from his hand. Well, that's the Republican health plan. Right there, yeah, that's all you're going to get. Jennifer, here,

Jennifer, here is your next quote. Okay. Just take two aspirin. You'll be fine. That advice was given to a patient who was in fact suffering a serious medical condition. It was part of a study showing you should not ask what for medical advice. I'm going to say AI, but perhaps I need a hint. No, you were right. AI, chat box, chat GPT.

Everybody's doing it, but they shouldn't. New research says if you give AI a chat botch, just one or two symptoms of something bothering you, they will fail to give you the right diagnosis 80% of the time. Either they will, as that one did, dismiss a serious disease as nothing, or say a minor complaint means you just have days to live. Robots are stealing other robots' jobs. Telling me I'm going to die is web MDs thing. Yes.

The head of health and human services is wrong 90% of the time. That's true. So it's an improvement. And he's certainly not a doctor. That's right. I mean, they're clearly trying to destroy us. Yes, I know. They're just like, it'll be fine.

Have you guys ever done this? I know a lot of people actually use chat, GPT, and are very happy with it. Have you ever tried it? I used it. What'd you do? Yeah, I'd ask for health advice. And what did you get? Yeah, it told me that I was going through paraminopause.

Does it explain the moon swings. Now, of course, the way the chatbots do is they just suck up all the information of the internet and they use predictive technology to figure out what to say. So this is true. A researcher in Sweden uploaded a fake paper, she wrote, describing a completely made-up illness called Bixanamania, including thanks to, and I quote, researchers at Starfleet Academy

and funding from the sideshow Bob Foundation in the paper. And sure enough, within a year, chatbots were telling people all over the world that they had Bixenmania. The amazing part, Bixen mania is what the Trump Jesus doctor was curing in that picture. So, chat, GPT is just a telephone psychic? Kind of, sort of? They have no information.

They have absolutely nothing. So it's just Ms. Cleo? Well, sort of kind of. No, because chat GPT does not cost 99 cents a minute. That's true. All right. Here, Jennifer, is your last quote. Okay.

Stuff always gets left behind. I didn't have to pay for eggs for a hot minute. That was someone quoted in the Washington Post about why they like to eat the food people leave behind where. At a restaurant? Not at a restaurant. That would be creepy walking around,

waiting for people leave a table, diving in before the bus boy can get there. Yeah, I've done it, but I'm not recommending. Can you give me a hint? Yeah, well, apparently they are supposed to clean between guests, but sometimes they don't check the fridge. Oh, in a hotel. Well, close.

in an Airbnb, right? More and more people are booking private vacation rentals, right? There's a growing debate as that happens about whether or not you should eat the leftovers you find in the fridge. Some people think that's gross. Other people are like, oh great, free Baba Ginoosh.

I think. Wouldn't it depend on, like, it was just like, oh, there's a bag of oranges. Right. I can see somebody doing that as opposed to Oh, there's chicken wings and four of them got a bite out of it. Yeah.

Actually, you know who apparently eats a lot of it are the owners of the Airbnb. That's part of a, I guess, a perk of being a landlord. One guy complained to the post that his family wouldn't eat the leftovers he brought home from his rental, which he said recently included lobster mac and cheese. Come on, kids, it's just old cheese and shellfish

other people has breathed on. It's great. Now, there are certain food items you know you're always going to find in a vacation rental, like your old vegetable oil, an unusually small amount of pancake mix. It's all useless. On the other hand, if you are going to make a recipe that calls for nothing but bay leaves, you are in business. Yes, odd spices that don't connect. It's like cinnamon and majoram. I don't know what I'm supposed to make. I can't put this on a chicken. Kind of weird cinnamon chicken? I'm not that lady.

Cinnamon chicken to me. You can and then leave it for the Airbnb owner. That'll teach him. And ruin his night. Alzo. Alzo, how did Jennifer do in our quiz? She got a perfect score, three out of three. Congratulations, Reverend. Yay! Thank you so much for playing. It was very fun. Thank you very much.

Take care. I'm a hungry man. That's what I am. I'm a hungry man. Right now, panel, that is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Alonzo, big news. in cheese making. Thanks, I know it's exciting. Thanks to a change in the law in Switzerland,

the makers of traditional Swiss cheese will now be able to add artificial what to their cheeses? Holes? Yes, holes. In recent years, holes have started disappearing from traditional Swiss cheese, something I learned from my holes, Google Alert. Turns out, I'm so mad. A hole can't disappear.

A hole is the disappearance of the thing that the hole is replacing. I'm about to lose my mind. Let me attempt to explain. It turns out in traditional Swiss cheese making, the holes in the cheese are caused by tiny particles of hay from the milk barn that gets into the milk. And with modern automatic milking technology, those little particles don't occur, right?

So in Swiss cheesemakers, want the holes back, but not from the guy who keeps showing up at the factory saying, I'll do it, no question back. So they went to court in Switzerland and won the right to create their own holes artificially, and it's still Swiss cheese. I love that at some point in this saga, somebody pounded his fist in the table and said, get me the best damn cheese lawyer money can buy. I love that Switzerland basically sat out World War I and two,

but this they finally take a stance. Yeah, yeah, we've got to get the hold back. Coming up, the pressure is on, and this week's Bluff to Listener game, call 1-Tri-A-W-8 Wait-W-W-W-T-T-E-W-T-Legger game. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait-W-W-E-Delme, from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me,

the NPR News Quiz. I am Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Adam Burke and Dose Sloan And here again is your host At the Student Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois Peter Seigold Thank you, Alzo.

Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Right now it is time for the Wait Wait Don't Tell Me Bluff the listener game. Call 1-Tripple-A-Wait-Wait to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait-Wa-Wat-Don-Tel me. Hello.

Hello, Hannah. Hannah in Austin. Hello, Hannah, in Austin, Texas. What do you do there? I am a registered nurse turned private practicing licensed massage therapist and end-of-liscula. So if I were dying for a massage, you would definitely be the person to go to. Exactly, exactly.

Well, Hannah, welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must write to tell truth from fiction. Also, what is Hannah's topic? You blew it. As the great philosopher, Eminem said, you only get one shot. Do not miss your chance to blow. This week, somebody had a chance to do something amazing, but came up short. A panelist are going to tell you about it.

Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the wait-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You're ready to play? I am. You are. Okay, well, then let's play. Let's start then with Alonzo Bodd. Wannabe influencer Alan Lane bought a computer from Brandon Torell on Facebook. He deleted the computer's memory, a bunch of math and maps, to edit videos of him

smoking a cigar for his brand. He figured he'd get rich on millions of views. Now he has videos of him crying at the idea of losing millions of dollars. The former owner of the computer, Brandon Terrell Sr., spent a lifetime research in the Bermuda Triangle and had it figured out. He had researched wind and water currents, the times and temperatures of when things disappeared. Terrell believes that his research could have led to a fortune in sunken treasure. So Terrell Jr. sold the computer thinking all the data was backed up to iCloud, but he forgot to pay Apple the $3 monthly fee for extra storage, so it all vanished the data new owner erased it. Once he realized what had happened, he joined forces with the new owner. Lane smokes his cigars for views

while Terrell tries to rebuild his computers from memory so he can make them both rich. A man almost acquired the secret to untold riches at the bottom of the Bermuda Triangle, but erased it all. Your next story of a big chance comes from Dulce Sloan. We've all met up with friends after a work event and still had our work stuff with us, like a laptop, a suitcase full of comedy merch, or a Fabrije egg. That's what happened to Rosie Dawson, who was entrusted to show the Faberjay egg and matching watch to potential buyers by her employer, the Kraft Whiskey Company. When she was unable to sell the pieces, she did what anyone would do after a hard day

work. She put the egg in her bag and went to the pub. Enter Enzo Conticello, a running-the-mill pickpocket. Who noticed Dawson's $2,000 J-Vanchi handbag on the floor? So he stole it like he was supposed to. Because who puts a $2,000 bag with a Faberjay egg in it on the floor of a bar? Now, what does a petty thief do with a Faberger egg? Well, he's a regular person, who doesn't know what it is, so he traded a bag and everything in it for cocaine. He didn't find out the value of his thievery was about $2.7 million until he was in court. Do you know how much cocaine? You can buy with $2.7 million? Now, I have no idea. I'm a good Christian woman, but I'm sure it's a lot. A thief steals a purse, takes out the money in cards.

and throws away the Faberjeet egg inside. Your last story of somebody coming up short comes from Adam Burke. It's considered one of the greatest missed opportunities in sports history. Boston Red Sox owner Harry Fraze sells Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees in 1920 for $100,000,

ushering in an 84-year World Series drought for the socks, propelling the Yankees to huge success and making Ruth a baseball legend. It's also a pivotal moment in a new musical about the Bambino, entitled simply Babe, exclamation point, which began production earlier this year in Boston. That was until Walt Gassman, the play's chief financial backer,

dropped into rehearsals and witnessed some of the show's so-called hit numbers, such as, I'm not throwing away my shot, but I am calling it, a whole new world series, and ho, ho, ho were the murderers row, and decided he had a stinker on his hands. Enter Janice Keller, an aspiring Amprosario from the Bronx, who upon hearing Gasman complain about the show

at a function offered to buy it from him. All the things he hated, I adored, says Keller, like when the sick kid flies in in his hospital bed, magic. And in a case of life imitating art, imitating life, Boston's loss has been New York's gain, with the plague becoming an instant camp classic off-Broadway

and quickly making its money back. I guess Boston won't win a Tony any time, soon, groused Gassman. All right. These are three stories of a lost opportunity. Was it from Alonzo Bowden, a guy who bought a computer and erased it before he realized

on it was the secret untold sunken treasure? From Dulce Sloan, a thief who grabbed a purse and threw it away, not realizing he had just thrown away a $2.5 million dollar Faberje egg inside, or from Adam Burke, the story of Babe Ruth being sold from

Boston to New York is recapitulated again in a musical about Babe Ruth being sold by Boston to New York. Which of these is the real story of a lost opportunity? Wow. The option. I have to pick Dulce. This seems like the human thing to do. The human thing to do. Because who would think, oh, to banging up a purse that there's a Faberget egg inside? All right, you chose Dulce's story. Well, we spoke to a reporter who covered the real story. He takes her to watch the handbag, and she realizes, oh my gosh, my Faberjé egg is being stolen.

That was the telegraphs, Lauren Shera, talking about the stolen slash not stolen Faberjee Egg in London. Congratulations, Hennett. You got it right. You're in a point for Dulce. You've won our prize. The voice of anyone you might choose for your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing with us today.

Take care. And now the game we call Not My Job, The national hockey league playoffs begin next week, and the winning team won't get their own version of the Stanley Cup, the championship trophy, because there is only one. Each member of the winning team, though, will get to have that one trophy for one day

before it goes back on display. And that means somebody has to escort it safely from place to place, and that somebody is Phil Pritchard, a longtime employee of the Hockey Hall of Fame, and the official guardian of the one and only Stanley Cup. And he joins us now. Phil Pritchard, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. So, first, a fact check. Is that correct? That hockey is the only major sport that does not give the trophy to the team to keep? They get to hold it up in the air and have it for a while, but then they

have to give it back. Yeah, it's actually a pretty amazing tradition, Peter. The team wins it obviously in late June, and they get it for 100 days, which means everybody on the team gets an opportunity to take it home. Right. Not only the players, the coaches, the trainers, the equipment managers, the staff, everyone gets time with it because it's a team event. Right. And so why, do you know how that tradition began? Was it like they didn't have the money to make a new trophy every year? Well, you know what? You look at that trophy. It's three feet high. It's 38 pounds. It's pure silver. I think it's beautiful enough. You only want one of them. Nothing against the other sports traditions. They do a great job of it,

but none of it is like the Stanley Cup. Right. Yeah, they didn't have the money. They didn't have the money, yeah. Thanks, although. And this has been your job for a long time. You were the guy who brings the cup to the game, who gives it to the winning team,

then takes it and brings it to each member of that team. That's your job. Yeah, and it's pretty amazing summer because I only hang out with winners. so it's pretty good. Please tell me you have that on a t-shirt. How did you get that job, Phil?

What skills did you bring to it? When he was little, he said that's what I want to be when I'm growing. Also, I don't think anyone ever says that. They want to win it. They want to bring it home to mom and dad. I didn't plan on bringing it to someone else's mom and dad. That didn't really work out that way.

You know what's amazing, though? I took a sports administration course in college, and one thing led to another, and working at the Hockey Hall of Fame, the game was evolving, and it became more and more an international sport, more than just North Americans, players from all around the world. So it began the effect of trying to, how do we get this trophy out there to everybody? And yours truly put up his hand and said, why don't we take it around and let everyone celebrate it with it, a day. So I think we've been to 31 countries with it around the world now. Wait a minute. You just told me something I hadn't heard, which is that you came up with the idea of every member of the winning team getting it for one day? Well, all the one I did. Okay. We know what it was. It was like, we got to figure out a way to get our sky miles up.

So you said, I've an idea. Let's get it out in the world. Let's let every player and other associate of the winning team have it for a day. And then somebody said, well, that's ridiculous. Some idiot would have to pick up the damn thing and fly around the world with it for a hundred days. Where are we going to find that fool? Here's the idiot right here. All right.

Over the year. You know, I was part of a whole team that came up with that idea. And I mean, a little bias here, but I think it's one of the greatest traditions there is in sport because they get the chance to take it home to their hometown and celebrate with their family. friends. Okay. We on this show over the years have occasionally mentioned when it's made the news some of the weirder things that the players especially have done with the cup during that that precious day when it's in their possession. What is some of the weirdest things you've seen?

Wow. We've been water skiing on sea-dues with it. We've been in sauna parties in northern Finland. We've been mountain climbing in the Rocky Mountains. Wait a minute. Let's go back. A player says to you, all right, it's my, I'm assuming it's a player. They get a lot of blows to the head. He says, I'm going to take the Stanley Cup. I'm going to tuck it under my arm.

I'm going to get on my sea do, my jet ski type thing, and I'm going to scoot out across the ocean or lake holding it. And you say, make sure it's got a life jacket on. Water safety is important. Okay. Has anyone ever offered you some cash to keep it a couple extra days? Oh, a lot. A lot of cash, guys.

Really? Yeah. Has that, I mean, these guys are well paid, so I imagine that they're like, you know, hey, I got some friends who haven't seen it yet. That has happened? It has. Are you seen the shirt I have on? I'm not well paid.

Yeah. But you've resisted the temptation. Never taken a bribe. Let me ask you a question. I know that you played hockey. Well, you're Canadian. It's obvious. You played hockey as a young man.

you had aspirations. So presumably like all Canadian kids, you dreamed of the Stanley Cup yourself. And given your job, have you ever imagined or planned what you would do were you to get the cup to yourself as one of the players or team members do? What would you do? If I had the chance to have it for a day, you mean? Yeah. I think for me, I would bring it back into my backyard and have an open house and, of course, an open bar.

Sure. And we have a party. Why not? Was anyone else expecting long walk on the beach? Yeah. The hell with them. Well, Phil Pritchard, it's a pleasure to have you here, and we have, in fact, invited you to play a game that we've come up with,

that we are calling, Let's go visit the NHL. By which we mean national historic landmarks. We're going to ask you three questions. Of course. We're going to ask you three questions about this list of interesting sites that make up the other NHL. And if you get too right, you won our prize for our listeners, the voice of any person on our show that might choose for their voicemail. Also, who is Phil Pritchard of the Hockey Hall of Fame playing for?

Sam Chang of San Carlos, California. All right. So here's your first question. All right, Sam, let's do this. All right, here's your first question. There is a long list you can find at the Department of the Interior website of National Historic Landmarks around the country. and one of the great things about it is the variety. It's not just old houses and battlefields.

The list also includes which of these? A, the birthplace of Saran Wrap, B, the nation's first Clare's store, or C, the Fresno, California, municipal, sanitary landfill. Whoa, I'm going with A, Saran Wrap. You're going to go to the birthplace of Saran Wrap. Yes.

I can imagine what the pilgrims would wear as they visited. No, it's actually C, the Fresno, California municipal sanitary landfill on the National Historic Landmark List. It was the first modern landfill in the U.S. Here's your next question. One of the newest landmarks designated

in 2024 is the Kentucky birthplace of paleontology in North America, one of the first places where people started discovering fossils of ancient animals. What is it called? A. Dinosaur Hole. B. Big Bone Lick or C.

Jurassic Park. I can go with B. You're going to go with big bone lick. You're right. Hundreds of years ago, pioneers and others discovered big bones there that were from Mastodons and other prehistoric fauna.

And also, living animals came there to lick salt. So, big bone lick. All right. Here's your last question. If you get this right, you win. So be careful when you search for National Historic Landmarks online, because

a Google search using AI told us that what is on the list of national historic landmarks? A babyland general hospital, the fake hospital where cabbage patch kids dolls are, quote, born, B, a tree, Nicholas Cage hit with his car in 1987, or C, a 40-foot-high floating head of Daniel Boone. Whoa. I don't think it's Nicholas Cage. I'm going to go with cabbage patch kids. You're right again, Vaugh. Yeah.

And General Hospital is a real place in Georgia where you can go and pretend to get a just-born cabbage patch kid, but it is not as far as we can tell, actually on the list of national historic landmarks. It will be now. I guess so. Yes.

Also, how did Phil do in our quiz? Phil, you get a wait, wait, wait, trophy that you can keep for yourself. You're a winner today. Yes. Take it home. Phil Pritchard is the keeper of the Stanley Cup, which you can see teams vifor this year in the NHL playoff start in April 18th. And now you know what's at stake. It'll be exciting for you. Phil Pritchard, thank you so much for joining us on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

Guys, thank you for having me. Thank you, Phil. Take care. In just a minute and learn of the secret to squeak you. clean romance in our listener Limerick Challenge call 1-TRA8 Wait-WaG to Jern us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more if Whitway, Don't Tell Me, from NPR.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bowdoin, Dose Sloan, and Adam Burke. And here again is your host at the Studio Baker Theater

in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo. In just a minute, To those of you who like your games easy and your rhymes, approximate, it's our listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call. One-Tu-8-8-8-8-924.

And now, panel, it is time, once again, for the game we call... The Trump Dump. Some weeks, news from the Trump administration comes out faster than you can say 25th Amendment. And... What we do is we just collect. it rounded up in one place and we ask you about it rapid fire true false style get yours right you

get a point you all ready to play him yeah here we go alonzo true or false in a sermon at the pentagon pete higseth read a bible verse he said it was from the book of mark when actually it was from the book of ezekiel it was from the book of pulp fiction it was it was from the movie pulp fiction dulce true or false when addressing reporters about the war treasury secretary scott besant mistakenly referred to the straight of Hormuz as the straight of vermuth. True. Right. Adam, true or false, a new biography of RFK Jr. says he once cut off a dead raccoon's penis on a family vacation to, quote,

study it later. True. That is true. Alonzo, according to the biography, RFK later wrote in his journal, quote, I was standing there, cutting the penis out of a road-killed-red. Raccoon, thinking about how weird some of my family members have turned out to be. I'm going true.

You're right again, Dulce. True or false, Donald Trump was criticized for skipping Iran negotiations to watch a UFC fight with vanilla ice. True. That is true. And Adam, true or false, after the fight, Donald Trump told the winner, you're the toughest fighter I've ever seen. I bet you could beat Iran all by you. yourself, unquote.

True. No, that is false. He said to the fighter, quote, you could be a model, you look so good, you're too good looking to be a fighter, you're some fighter, you're a beautiful guy. You know the disembodied

raccoon penis? Yes, I do. Is that what we're supposed to take instead of Tylenol? Probably. And that's it for this week's Trump Dump will be back with another edition before you know it and before you want it. Now panel some questions about the week's news for you. Adam, two pilots were scolded this week after air traffic controllers at National Airport in D.C.

heard what coming over the radio from the cockpit? It wouldn't by any chance be the sound of like a cat meowing. Yes, indeed. Mowing and barking. Air traffic control in D.C. heard meowing and barking coming from an active cockpit out there on the tarmac. But there were no pets on the airplane. It was the pilots doing the meowing and barking.

Air traffic told them they needed to be more professional. And this is true. In reaction, the pilots barked and meowed even more. And things got even worse when the pilots got the zoomies. That's a small space? This was recorded. And so the air traffic control was then heard telling the pilots, and this is true, this is why you still fly a regional jet.

Damn! Major air traffic control desks, man. That is shade. That is cold. That is cold. Not the American Eagle. They could have tagged it with four-spirit airlines. That's true.

The plane only got 30 seats and we know why. When they said that, did the pilots start growling? Anyway, for those interested in this, the pilots in the story are now available for adoption at your local DC. Coming up, it's Lightning Film. the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-4. That's 1-8-8-8-2-4. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago, or catch us in the road in Austin, Texas, at Bass Concert Hall on the 4th of June. And if you like our show, but wish it was actually sort of a

different show. You can check out our comedy Grab-Baggag stand-up show at the Bell House in Brooklyn on April 24th. Josh Godleman will be hosting. He'll be joined by our very own Peter Gross and some exciting special guests. For tickets and information to all our live events, go to NPRPresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me. Hi. Hi, who's this?

This is Tracy Clark Johnson. Hello, Tracy Clark Johnson. How are you? Where are you calling from? I am calling from Richmond Hill, Georgia. Wow. Where is Richmond Hill? So, Richmond Hill is about 30 minutes from Savannah, Georgia,

and I was there at the Johnny Mercer Theater recently and saw you guys live. Yeah, that's great. I'm so glad we were there just recently had a great time. Well, welcome back, I guess, then, Tracy. Alzo Slade is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly to the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play? I am ready to play.

Let's do it. Here's your first limerick. On our date, we get down on all fours. That's because we are scrubbing the floors. We do laundry and shop, clean the windows, and make. up, we get frisky by doing our... Chores. Yes, chores, the hot new trend in dating. It's choremats.

Where instead of going out, you stay home and do, quote, regular housework or daily life chores. Sounds boring, okay. But have you ever felt the electricity of folding a fitted sheet with somebody new? Hands are everywhere. According to one psychologist, having a choremance is a good way to make mundane tasks more exciting. Okay, taxes are a drag, but tremens your taxes and they become a neurotic adventure. Hey, honey, this is Charles Schwab. He just is going to watch. You know, if you feel electricity with someone while folding laundry, just use one of those dryer sheets. Yeah, exactly. Also,

and I, listen, I might be judged for saying this, but it's, it's giving broke. It's giving broke. Listen, I love to go on a little, you know, let's go shopping. Like, We'll do a little like, run an errand that doesn't consist of me cleaning your, I just got here. I mean, I've been told sex as a chore before. Is that what they mean? Pretty much. I mean, let's face it. People present themselves one way when they're on a date, but you see a different side of them when you're doing chores.

You can even create special bonding moments. Like when the man says, let's take it slow, it's my first time cleaning a bathtub. Here is your next, Limerick. this protein-filled energy beltser is refreshing when temperatures sweltser. The bubbly cold drink comes in yellow and pink. Beyond meat is now making a

Seltsor. Yes, Seltzer. If you love Beyond Burgers and Beyond Chicken, the fake meat, you're the kind of freak who's going to love Beyond Seltzer. The new sparkling beverage contains not only vitamins and electrolytes, but also 10 to 20 grams of pea protein. incidentally drink enough of this and you will also pee protein i've never been asked would you like

your water medium rare i think what happened is it was just like okay we've got all this protein that we used to make the fake meat right we're not selling the fake meat so we need to make drinks right but i think there some guy was like well seltre's popular this like a real crystal Pepsi situation right it's like well yeah because that did so well exactly is this going to taste like hot dog water. In that case, I'm in. All right, here is your last limerick.

My sweet tooth has one holy grail. It's when seasonal candies on sale. Some treats grow a crust that is really a must. I prefer to eat peeps that are stale. Stale, yes. Easter has come and gone,

but according to many candy lovers, this is exactly when you want to eat your leftover peeps when they are stale. People say, the candy is best when the outside has gotten crunchy, but the inside is still soft, just like a real bird. And if the word stale is kind of throwing you off, one reddeter said, quote, calling them aged is much fancy. That's true. That's why I always pair my four-week old peeps with a 2020 bottle of Nesquick. First of all, peeps is nasty. Second, it's like, I've never understood the peep, and you know now the peep people

was like, oh, we could do this other times of a year. So now they got July 4th peeps. Oh, really? They got saying, yeah, they just put it. Are they called we the peeps? They're not. Idiots. Also, how did Tracy do in our quiz?

You have to pronounce the full name, Tracy Clark Johnson. Sorry, excuse me. Got three out of three, she's the winner. Thank you, Dick. Well done. Welcome, Guy. Love y'all. Now on to our final game, Lightning, fill in the blank.

Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer, now worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores? Absolutely. Dose is kicking butt with five points. Alonzo has four, and Adam is pulling up the rear with three. Okay. All right, Adam, you're in third place, so you're up first.

The clock will start when they begin your first question. Fill in the blank. According to a new poll, only 25% of Americans see the war with blank as a success. Iran? Right. On Sunday, Peter Magyar defeated Victor Orban to become the next prime minister of blank. Is it Turkey? No, it's hungry.

I know. In order to highlight a city's failing infrastructure, a politician in South Africa, blanked. Oh, um, didn't he, like, take a bath in a pothole or something? So, yeah, based on me give it, he went snorkeling in a bottle. It was deep enough to snorkel in. This week's soccer fans were outraged over reports that train tickets to see a blank game in New Jersey may cost more than $100. The World Cup. Right.

On Tuesday, looks maxing influencer blank was admitted to the hospital for an apparent overdose. I hate that I know this, clavicular. Yes, at an Easter celebration in South Korea, the man playing Jesus, who was supposed to be lifted 20 feet in the air by a crane at the climax, ended up blanking. I saw this. He just kept going. Yes, he ended up. flying flown into the air to the height of a skyscraper.

And what might be the most amazing video anybody has ever seen, the man playing Jesus at an outdoor event at the moment of his resurrection and ascent to heaven starts to ascend from the stage and then pretty much actually goes to heaven.

He just keeps going. What was he attached to? He was attached to a cable that was being held by a... The Lord! Yeah, but the Lord. And everyone watching thought it was the rapture. You know.

I promised That if you haven't watched a video, you're watching this and going, well, obviously, he can't keep going higher. He goes higher past the Artemis crew on the other way. Alzo, how did Adam do in our quiz? He got five right for 10 points, total of 13. All right. So, Alonzo, you are up next, fill on the blank. On Wednesday, Russia conducted a large-scale drone strike against blank.

Ukraine? Right. According to the IRS, this year's average blank refund is higher than last year. Tax. Right. This week, outbreaks of blank continue to spread throughout the country. Measles. Right. According to a new study, people taking weight loss drug blank reported it dulled their emotions. The GLP1? Yeah, Ozempic and the like. This week, Toronto's CN Tower lit up periwinkle blue in honor of blank. Oh, I don't know, Canada?

No, in honor of Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month. How did I not know that? Clearly you weren't aware of it. On Thursday, health officials in the U.S. warned of a new blank resistant bacteria. Vaccine? Well, I'll give it to you drug resistant.

According to a new study, Blank Song closely parallels the patterns of human speech. Bird? No, whale song. This week, a woman with a knee injury who was promised an empty row on her flight was surprised to find the seats filled and more surprised when one of her seatmates blanked.

Had a bad knee? No, gave her a 30-minute foot massage. Is that legal? Apparently, the unexpected. Extracted extra passenger quote, noticed the woman tending to her hurt knee and insisted that she keep her leg up and began a 30-plus minute

reflexology massage. So the next time you're annoyed when the person next to you in a flight wants to talk, just remember, it could be worse. Alonzo, how did Alonzo doing our quiz? Did all right. He got five right for ten more points. He has now a total of 14

and the lead. All right. So how many then does Dulce need to win? She needs five. to win. Okay, Dahlsey, this is for the game. Fill in the Blank. On Wednesday, a jury ruled that Live Nation and Blank

operated as a monopoly to dominate the ticketing industry. True? What? Live Nation and Blank. Another company. Oh, Ticketmaster. Right. On Tuesday, the Justice Department moved to dismiss the seditious conspiracy convictions

against certain participants in the Blank Riot. January 6th. Right. This week, runners in the recent Milwaukee Marathon were surprised to discover that the designers of the medal they received had blanked. Stolen the medals. No, the designers of the metal they received

had misspelled the word marathon on it. Following their historic mission to the blank, the crew of the Artemis II returned home this last week. Moon! Yes, this week the designers of a new Nintendo game sent they spent a large part of the nine-year development cycle getting blank just right.

Their ramen recipe. No, getting the fart sounds in the game, just right. Tomodachi Life, Living the Dream, is this new cozy town. simulator, kind of like Animal Crossing, except all the cute animals are just ripping ass all the time. Designers spent years working on the fart sounds with most programmers worried they weren't cartoonish enough. There's still a little realism left in the final product, though anytime your character lets out a fart, they immediately say, that wasn't me. Also, did Dulce do well enough

to win? No, not really. She got three right for six more points, total of 11. which means Alonzo wins. Congratulations, Alonzo Bowden, this week's champion. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict, after all the food left behind in fridges, what'll be the next reason Airbnb is in the news?

But first, let me tell you all that... Wait, wait, don't tell me. He's a production of NPR and WB. He's Chicago, in association with urgent haircraft productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our Limerick, so our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, thanks to the staff and crew at the studio baker,

B.J. Leiderman, composer, our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles, Miles, Norwalk, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Mohanad Al-Shehi and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is the official guardian of the Wait-Wate Cup. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical directions from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse, our senior producers Ian Chilog and the executive producer. Wait Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth.

Now panel, what's the next big Airbnb story in the news? Alonzo Bowden. Airbnb on the moon. Dolce Sloane. Kid B&B, where you can adopt annoying kids left behind on vacation. And Adam Burke. They'll also start offering discount flights with a new company called Airbnb. And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, Alas Lle. Thanks also to Alandro Baudin, Dulce Sloan. Adam Burke, thanks to all of you for listening. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Bacon Theater. Great to see you all. I'm Peter Segal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.