Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Amanda Seyfried

Episode Date: March 15, 2025

This week, special guest Amanda Seyfried joins panelists Fortune Feimster, Peter Grosz, and Emmy BlotnickLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WDBEZ, Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I've got a juicy dump truck voice. I'm Bill Curtis, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. We really do have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Amanda Seyfried,

who used to be known for starring in things like Mamma Mia and the TV show The Dropout and Mean Girls, but after an appearance on The Tonight Show last week, she is now world famous for doing Joni Mitchell covers on the dulcimer. So maybe instead of questions, we'll just have her do the whole blue album. But first we want your help, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter, this is Cameron from Bath, Maine. Cameron in Bath, Maine. How are things in Bath? Oh, pretty cold, pretty windy. It's the city of ships, not great sailing weather. No, no, are you a sailor?

No, but I have two retired parents who just bought a pontoon boat, so I'll get back to you in a couple months. Wow. What does one do with a pontoon boat, so I'll get back to you in a couple months. Wow. What does one do with a pontoon boat? I've never known. You put their parents on it and you push it.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. They're back a day later. Good luck. Well, Cameron, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, the comedian whose album Party Nights is available now on Spotify, Apple, and other streaming services, it's Emmy Blotnick. Hi Cameron.

Next, it's the actor and writer you can see in the show Two Square at the Oklahoma City Improv Saturday, March 15th, and at Comedy Sports Philadelphia on April 5th, it's Peter Gross. Hello. Hi there. And finally, making her debut on our panel, we are thrilled to be joined by the comedian whose third comedy special, Crushing It, is streaming on Netflix. She's about to kick off her national Taking Care of Biscuits tour this month.

Please say hello to Fortune Feimster. Hi. tour this month, please say hello to Fortune Feimster. Hi. So Cameron, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. Of course your job is to correctly identify or explain just two of them. Do that, you will win our prize.

The voice from anyone on our show, you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready. All right, let's do it, Cameron. choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready. Alright, let's do it Cameron. Here is your first quote. Is it finally time to freak out? That was a soon to be retiree quoted in Market Watch, worried about the rapid decline of what?

Would that be the United States of America? I knew it. I knew we laid ourselves a trap as soon as I read that aloud. We're looking for something specific that was definitely on a significant downward trend this week. Oh, the stock market. The stock market. Yes, the stock market.

Things are so bad with everybody's retirement accounts that, and this is true, one prominent brokerage site now has a pop-up when you log in warning you just not to look. They really do? They really do, that's right. Things are so bad, ladies and gentlemen. Your 401k has a bouncer. It should just be like a picture of a dog with like a little hat dancing back and forth and you just look at it for a minute and then you go, whatever.

I'm not going to check my balance. You know what's really important? Family. This is really hard for people who don't know when the stock market is good also. Right. You're just completely oblivious. Sometimes you look and you're like, it's sure moving, this line on the grass. Yeah.

Today it's green, tomorrow it's red. It's so Christmassy. Yes. It looks like it has a heartbeat. Fortune, are you concerned at all about this? Do you like have stocks or money? No, I love losing money. Yeah?

Yeah, I got an email from my Raymond James guy who's here in Chicago. Really? Yeah, he asked if I wanted a hug and I said yes. We might be in the verge of another Great Depression, right? But according to this American Girl book I've been reading, it is going to be awesome. No, the Depression was great. You can live in a boxcar travel for free. Every windowsill will have a pie cooling.

I couldn't afford American girls before this. And the best of all, those of us who will survive it will get to be insufferable to everyone else for the rest of our lives. Oh yeah, back in the Great Depression of 25, me and my four siblings all had to share one vape pen. We had to share one Netflix account. It was horrible. Our tokens were non-fungible back then. Cameron, here is your next quote.

Focus on a nature scene with a sunset. That was something that computer programmers came up with to help relieve the anxiety that what has been feeling. AI? Exactly. AI, a new study has found that AI can get anxious and depressed, right? It can worry. That's trouble for those who use chat GPT for its main use, cheating on their homework.

Now it's the one saying, oh man, oh man, we're going to get caught. You should look to write 500 words about Watership Down, and it's like, what's the point? Exactly. That sad book where the rabbits get killed. We have nothing to live for. I live in a hole. But why are they, why is it really like, is it because we're so anxious that it is aping us and being anxious?

Pretty much, because if you remember, these things work entirely by absorbing all this information and how humans have reacted to this information. So you heard the quote from Bill. Because it was being made anxious by the prompts that make humans anxious, they thought giving it mindful and meditation exercises would help, and it did. Oh, so they're like listening to calm. Yeah, exactly. But I don't know how this can be.

I would think a computer would freak out even more if you asked it to take deep, calming breaths and it realizes it doesn't have lungs. I feel like we can just stop AI now, right? Yeah, it's dumb. It's like, if we are inventing something that is mechanical and is like separate from us, but it is acting like us and achieving our worst parts of ourselves, I think this is the time to step back and be like, that was probably too much.

Just wait till it gets angry. Yeah. Right now it's just sad, but there are other stages of grief. That's true. Oh yeah. Is vengeance one of the stages? I hope not. All right, Cameron, your last quote is from the host of a brand new radio show on Apple

Music as he introduces the next song. highly big no it came to the palace to perform the locomotion and it is music for dancing so who is a new side gig as a radio DJ would that be the king of England yes King Charles III himself the's got his groom back. This week Apple Music debuted King Charles' new radio show, The King's Music Room. And I gotta tell you, it's actually really good. I'm not kidding. He plays Bob Marley, Beyonce, he plays world music. Here, this is just a bit of it.

The song is the locomotion. It has that infectious energy which makes it, I find, incredibly hard to sit still. It is fun. Plus, it is going to be so much easier to get knighted now. All you have to do is be the hundredth caller. It should be, can it be a video thing and he has to dance after he plays songs? No, it actually, Dave, of course, because it's 2025, they also videotape it and put a lad online and it's great because yes, I will confirm, he does the whole show wearing the complete royal regalia, right? On the front.

So at one point when he gets really excited, he starts twerking with the orb. Ha ha ha. After this, we've got traffic on the wall. Exactly. And the Powerball numbers. We're going now to Reginald Pipps in the sky. Reggie, what's going on in central London? That's really funny.

No, it's great, he is, I mean, I don't. Not what I said, just in general. I don't know. It's an absolute cluster around the palace. Bumper to bumper carriages. Bill, how did Cameron do in our quiz? Cameron from Bath, Maine did very well 3 and 0. Congratulations.

Great job, Cameron. Thank you, everybody. He's the king of cool. Congratulations! Great job Cameron. Thank you everybody. He's the king of cool But how does he get his bread? What's his seed then? He's the king of cool Right now panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Fortune, a new study finds that you can boost your brain's performance simply by chewing what?

Gum. No, if that worked, my mother would have been a genius. On thoughts. Chew on thoughts? Yeah. Chew on thoughts. You chew on that? Just thinking.

No, I'll give you a hint. Now that explains how the beaver I saw got today's wordle in two. Uh, wood. Yes, wood. Chewing wood can make you smarter. Research finds that chewing on a piece of wood significantly increases brain activity, especially in the part of the brain that asks, why am I doing this? How do they figure this out? What's the study that's like, here, chew on this gum, now do this puzzle. How do they figure this out?

What's the study that's like, here, chew on this gum, now do this puzzle. Chew on this stick, now do this. Oh, the stick guy did pretty good. Yeah. The hypothesis is that chewing on something hard like wood increases blood flow to your head, which in many people is where the brain is located. Wouldn't this just be a toothpick? No, it has to be harder.

It has to be something that really takes effort. Like a floorboard? Yeah, exactly. So you can't be just like a whimsical guy sitting on a porch whittling and chewing on a toothpick. No, no, no. You've got to be at the Home Depot with a knife and fork. Coming up, our panelists, our music to your ears and our beloved listener game called

1-triple-8, Wait, Wait to Play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPO. This message comes from Wyse, the app for doing things in other currencies. Sending or spending money abroad, hidden fees may be taking a cut. With Wyse, you can convert between up to 40 currencies at the mid-market exchange rate. Visit Wyse.com. T&Cs apply. From NPR in WBEZ, Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.

We're playing this week with Emmy Blotnick, Peter Gross, and Fortune Feimster. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me bluffed listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air, or you can head over to npr.org slash wait, wait form. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait't tell me. Hi, this is Perry Evans and I'm from Hewitt, Texas. Oh wow. Which is just outside of Waco. Well that's great and what do you do there?

Well I live with my librarian husband for 32 years I guess and we have two kids and shout out Michaela and Chandler. And I work for Baylor Student Media. You said that your husband was a librarian with some pride. Because he's really smart and he's now been elected president of the Music Library Association. Oh, that's very exciting. So yeah, I'll dial that up on Spotify for you. You betcha.

Yeah. Well, welcome to the show, Terry. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what's Terry's topic? Behind the music. Speaking of music, getting into the music business isn't easy. People will do anything to get a leg up, a foot in the door, a toenail in the window. Our panel is going to tell you about a surprising new tactic someone might be able to use to get ahead in the music biz.

Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the weight-weighter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes, sir. All right, let's hear first from Peter Gross. Typically when you put out a want ad you explain the job, list the responsibilities, and state the salary. But if your kiss bassist Gene Simmons you tell someone how much they are going to have to pay you for the privilege of working with you. Simmons is going out on a solo tour this month and he put out a

call for help explaining that he's looking for one person in each city to join his road crew for the day for the low low price of $12,495 now before you scoff there are some great perks you get to meet Jean and for free They will throw in being laughed at and called a rich idiot by the real crew members But you'll be the one laughing when you get to sit down and have a special one-on-one meal with a man accused multiple times of sexual harassment who once released a solo record called A**hole and who told an interviewer in 2022, I don't have friends. The going rate to be an assistant to Gene Simmons of KISS is $12,500, which you pay him.

Your next music business breakthrough comes from Emi Blotnik. The chaos began with an innocent request from Virgin Airlines corporate office. They were seeking to refresh their in-flight safety video with a catchy new song, and for the first time ever, they were open to submissions from anyone, anywhere. One aspiring musician from Bangor, Maine believed this was his golden opportunity to break into the music business. The multi-instrumentalist Robert McMagnus, who records under the alias McMadness, went to work producing as many demos as he could.

He composed 24 original in-flight safety songs in just 24 hours with titles such as Seatbelt Low and Tight Tonight, Fasten Like an Assassin, and Talking Tough About Stowin' Stuff. Just to be safe, McMadness uploaded each track 300 times from 17 different email accounts. The tonnage of these files crashed the server so quickly, no one else was able to submit. A spokesman from Virgin Airlines offered their apologies that the song contest ended prematurely. He added, while none of Mr. McMadness' songs were family-friendly enough for in-flight usage, they were so impressed with his output that they've begun contract talks with him anyway. A man goes all out to make sure that his is the safety song played on an airline.

Your last musical moment comes from Fortune Feamster. Legendary background singer Barry Cooter has sung vocals on some of the most iconic country albums to come out of Music Row. And he did this without a single connection to the music business. Not an agent, not a manager, nothing but his biscuits. Years ago, he snuck into a studio by posing as a delivery man for a made up bakery, Barry's Biscuits.

He first tried to get in under the name Cooter Cakes, but that didn't even get him past the front door. It was the amazing smell of these biscuits that allowed him to skate right past security and then the secretary and straight into the recording studio. And who happened to be in there laying down a track? None other than the Elvis Presley, who we all know loved him some biscuits. His whole team started devouring these treats, leaving Cooter the opportunity to step up to the mic and show off his vocals.

For decades, Cooter had quite the career, that is until singers started cutting carbs. All right. So let's say you had aspirations to get into the music business. You might do one of these things. Is it from Peter Gross, go work for a day as an assistant to Gene Simmons simply by paying him more than $12,000 for the privilege? From Emmy, absolutely go all out to break into the music business via that common first step in airline safety video.

Or from Fortune, does bake biscuits so good they cannot keep you out of the music studio which of these is a real tactic used to get into the music business? I would not put it past Gene Simmons to charge somebody to work for him. The audience apparently has the same opinion of Gene Simmons as all right-thinking people do. Well, we spoke to a music journalist who told us about the real story. You'd have to have $12,000 of disposable income and then a huge huge team. Yes, that was Ilana Kaplan, a music editor for People magazine, telling us the two conditions that you'd have to have in order to take advantage of this remarkable opportunity of spending

a day with Gene Simmons. Congratulations, Terri, you got it right. You earned a point for Peter. You just told the truth. Good job, Terri. And you've won our prize, the voice of your choice and your voicemail. Congratulations and well done. Thank you. Thank you.

["The Voice of Your Choice and Your Voicemail"] And now the game where we ask famous people to answer questions about something they know nothing about. We call it not my job. Amanda Seyfried is an Emmy-winning actor who starred in, among other things, three of the most profitable movie musicals ever made, but she has said that despite her many successes, all she has ever wanted to do was play a cop on TV, a dream that has finally come true

on her new show, Long Bright River on Peacock. Amanda Seyfried, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks so much. So, let's start there. We heard that was true, that you've always, through your remarkable career, starting with soap operas and then Mean Girls and through the Mamma Mia movies, everything you've done, that you've always had this secret desire to play a cop. Is that right? Yeah.

It just seemed so far-fetched. I was like, that would be fun. That would be fun. Were you influenced by watching cops on TV when you were growing up? Are you like a law-and-order SVU girl? I had this weird obsession with the first 48 I would watch like two episodes before bed every night. I think that's probably why I was so anxious But um, yeah, sure, I mean, I just think it's cool. And I never wanted to play detective. Don't get me wrong, those are, they're cool.

But they're everywhere. Beat cops is where it's at. Yeah, really? So that's- And I just feel so slight that, like, no one would believe me with that kind of authority. So I just wanted to prove myself and everybody else wrong. Wow.

So your model for the cop you wanted to be was not like, say, Kojak, but like the little bunny in Zootopia. That's exactly who I modeled my hair character. Wow. I can see that. In preparation for this role, you did something, I am told again, that I know a lot of actors do, which you did a ride along with real Philadelphia police.

Is that true? Yeah. I had no business being there, but I went and it was something. Yeah. I have always, I know that many actors who are dedicated to doing a good job do that experience. They go for a ride along or spend time with police. And I've always wondered what that's like.

I mean, you're sitting there, you're driving down the streets of Philadelphia and the cop in the front seat turns to you and goes, so mama mia, I heard that was a really fun set, was it? I mean pretty much, yeah. There's like a give and take and I don't want to be greedy but I'm also like I want to see what's next. Like yeah, let's go to the wah-wah, let's break up the fight. OK. They let me choose which place we were going to go next. Did they really? Well, there's a wellness check. You want to do that?

And I'm like, that could be anything. We should go. And it turned out to be a dead person. So the wellness was pretty low. Yeah, not a lot of wellness there. I can't wait to do it again, actually. Sure. It occurs to me, though, I mean, while the cops have you, that you could come in handy.

Like if a gunfight got for Bebu to break out, they could shout, put down your weapons, Amanda Seyfried is here. There's like a third Mamma Mia movie on the line. And if that ever happened, listen, I'm for it. I'll do anything to save a life. Right. Quote me on that. All right.

Speaking of Mamma Mia, we have read, this might be urban legend, it might be true. We have read that when you were making that movie and its sequel in these beautiful places, that the entire cast was drunk the entire time. Yeah. I mean, not the entire time. Not the entire time.

But like, I mean, I'm on the entire time. We wasted a short day. Yeah. Going down. Yeah. No, it really was debauchery. Yeah, right, yeah.

It looked like, I mean, it seemed like part of the appeal of the movie was just imagining being able to make it with you guys, because boy, it looked like fun. It really was. Actually, those images that came out a while back of us in our most drunken state at some party where we did karaoke in Scopelos, it just looks like the most fun anyone could ever have, especially because Meryl Streep is at the center of every photo. I wish I could say, oh, it wasn't that fun, but my grandmother got drunk that night. It was a memory that I will never... I just I hold it so

close and and and I really look forward to a third. So just so we could keep getting drunk together. Right. So you won an Emmy for playing Elizabeth Holmes in the dropout the story of her and Theranos and perhaps the single most iconic moment in the show is when you as Elizabeth kind of dances into your boyfriend's office to Lil Wayne to either seduce him or cheer him up or both. And it is somehow the most awkward thing I have ever seen. And my question is, how does someone who knows how to dance, dance badly? I'm going to be honest, I'm not a good dancer. I really I really am NOT Peter

She thought that was really good. Really? Oh god Was like the best dancing she could do. I don't know. I was wearing it Who can dance well or take themselves seriously when they're wearing that puffy vest? Yeah It is hard to dance in puffy vest, right? Silicon Valley mating ritual. When that really happened, presumably it did, Lil Wayne felt a horrible twinge somewhere. He just knew something was wrong. He was more uncomfortable than you were. And as far as I know, I tried to find this out, you have never met Elizabeth Holmes and

she has never reached out to meet you. Is that right? Correct. Yeah. Yeah, there was like a trial or whatever. Oh yeah, that one. Yeah, yeah. You know, the legal...

Thing. Legal things that separated us from having our fateful love fest. I don't know what... I probably would have been like, well, that's just pretty cool actually. Because I'm so easily influenced, but I'm... Yeah, so it was better that I didn't, because then I wouldn't have been able to make fun of her too. Because part of the show is getting on the inside and trying to, you know, breed some kind of compassion and show a three-dimensional person. But the other part is like making fun of her.

Like with the scene. That that was you did both exceptionally well Well Amanda Seyfried, this is a joy to talk to you and we have asked you here to play a game. We're calling Mean girl meet nice guy. So you began your career by starring in the classic movie comedy Mean girls, so in honor of that, we found three questions about some guys who were actually really, really nice. Answer just two of them correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, Bill, who is Amanda Seyfried playing for.

Michelle Musara of Cleveland, Ohio. All right. All right. Woo hoo! Woo hoo! Woo hoo! Woo hoo! Woo hoo!

Woo hoo! You seem a little, I hope you were warned that this would be happening. Get some wine, girl. Right. Yeah, okay. You're right. All right, here we go. Here's your first question.

Mr. Rogers was possibly the nicest person of all time. After Mr. Rogers filed a police report that his car had been stolen, what happened two days later? A, PBS pledged money to him to buy him a new car. B, neighbors complained about all the people clogging up their street, hoping to give him a ride somewhere. Or C, the thieves returned the car with a note that said, if we'd known it was yours, we never would have taken it.

C? Yes, that's what happened. Yeah. Yeah. He's that nice. He was that nice. He was so nice he could turn other people into nice guys through osmosis. He was amazing.

All right, that's very well done. Here's your next question. During World War II, Canada famously treated their POWs so well that some of them didn't want to go back to Germany when the war was over. According to one captured German corporal, that great treatment at the POW camp included which of these? A, the government brought in a famous chef to make authentic schnitzel for them. B, the guards would regularly lend the prisoners their rifles so they could go hunting. Or C, upon request, Canada would fly in a soldier's wife and kids so they could all be POWs together.

Nah, that's A. I'm afraid it was actually B. They gave them rifles to go hunting. Oh, I thought that was a good boring one. Really? Can't be B. No. That was their version of a trustful. They really were. They hand them a rifle, close their eyes, turn around. Alright, anyway, here's your last question. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether or not someone is nice, like the man who helped out a woman in Wales one day by hanging up her laundry to dry, washing her floor, putting her groceries away, and taking out the recycling. But there was one catch. What was it? A, he had broken in her house to do these things while she was away at work. B, the whole time he was working, he told her how bad her clothing and food choices

were. Or C, after he finished, he told her, now you have to come do my house. What do you guys think? Yeah, I mean, A seems like the obvious choice. No, I'm not going to overthink it. Yes, you're right, Amanda. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

He broke into her house and he did all those things for her, and then she came home and found him doing them. Now they're married. She likes a bad boy. Yeah. Bill, how did Amanda Seyfried do in our quiz? Mamma mia, two out of three is a win, Amanda. Congratulations. well done. I had some hate. We did, you had some from this fabulous audience. Amanda Seyfried is an Emmy winning actor who you can see right now in Long Bright River. All episodes are streaming on Peacock

now, go watch it. Amanda, thank you so much for being with us. What a pleasure to talk to you and see you. Thanks, guys. Hey, have fun with you guys. We will. Have fun. Bye. Bye. Bye.

In just a minute, Bill has the perfect treat for people with peanut allergies in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR in WBEZ, Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.

We are playing this week with Peter Gross, Emmy Blotnick, and Fortune Feimster. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, week with Peter Gross, Emmy Blutnick, and Fortune Feimster. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute. Bill expresses his truth the only way he knows how with limericks. If you'd like to play, give us a call. 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Peter, bad news in nutrition. This week we found out what popular treat contains potentially dangerous levels of heavy metals and pesticide residues. Popular treat. Especially this time of year is when they tend to show up. In the spring? Yeah. Ramps! Everyone's eating ramps in the spring? No, sorry, it's not when they grow, it's when they're sold. Oh, peeps!

No, I'll give you a hand. They could just embrace this and say, thin mints, now with even more copper. Girl Scout cookies? Girl Scout cookies! The new lawsuit alleges those cookies sold by the Girl Scouts include quote dangerous metals and pesticides. I don't care. I'm still gonna eat them.

I just love the Samoas which have the chocolate coating and the lead filling. This is why you gotta freeze them. That's not gonna get rid of the stuff that's inside. It doesn't make you go away? No, Simon. Alright, whatever. That's not going to get rid of the stuff that's inside. It doesn't make you go away? No, Simon. All right, whatever. No, but it's colder.

It's cold. Frozen iron is good. Yeah, exactly. Peter, officials in Brazil, sadly, are cutting down part of the Amazon rainforest to make way for what? Something Brazilian like a thong factory? No, something... That's nice.

You got to make them somewhere. That's true. You guys will save money on shipping. Yeah. I'll give you a hint. Greta Thunberg is going to be so mad when she shows up for this one. Oh. Like an environmental summit?

Yes, a climate summit. Oh, God. Wow. A new four-lane highway cutting through thousands of acres of protected Amazon rainforests is being built for this year's climate summit in Brazil. And before we start complaining, the road will have a bike lane. So they decided to hold this year's COP 30 climate summit in the remote Amazonian city of Belem,

presumably to show what might be lost if we don't fix things, and somebody said, hey, you know what would really show them how bad it could get? The new road is called Avenu Liberdade, which is Portuguese for whoops. And you have to get there in cars that are powered by Styrofoam. Exactly right. Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. That's true. And that's in fact, interestingly enough, one end of the road is in hell. Fortune dog owners pride themselves on knowing exactly what their dogs are feeling at any time. but a new study proves that. What? Dogs are so dumb. That may well be the case, but actually the discovery was about the people, not the dog.

Oh, okay. Their owners are dumb. I'm going to give it to you because the answer is it turns out that owners have no idea what their dogs are thinking or feeling at any given moment. We just don't. Sweet. A new study shows people actually have no idea what their dogs are feeling. As far as you know, that tail is wagging to express profound disappointment in you.

Oh no, that would be terrible. I know, but in this study, this is what they did. They showed people videos of dogs reacting to something, and the people could only accurately ascertain what the dogs were feeling if they could also see what they were reacting to. If that was taken away, their guesses were no better than just like random. Oh, you think this bowl of treats made your dog happy. Oh, wow, you're like a dog whisperer. I think this study is projecting.

Really, you think? Yeah, I think I know my dog's feelings. You do? Yeah, he tells me them. How does he tell you? Little licks and kisses. All his feelings are, I want to lick your face. Yeah. Yes. He just feels that all the time. He feels what's in your mouth. Yes. In case there's any food in there. Because that's the thing. In case there's any food in there because that's the thing. This is not hard dogs have three emotions three one I'm eating Two is that something I can eat? Three oh it isn't

I have those say that's my only Yeah. Coming up, it's Lightning Fell in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, or come see us on the road. Hey, Spring Breakers, you want a real party?

Next week we'll be in Orlando, Florida at the Walt Disney Theater. For tickets and information, just go over to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on, wait, wait, don't tell me. Hey, this is Cody in Madison, Wisconsin. Hey, beautiful Madison. I love it there. What do you do there?

I'm a researcher for the US Forest Service here in Madison. I'm glad you're still on the job. Me too. I assume you're the last one left. That's right. That's right. Just me holding up the fort. Exactly. And when they let you do your job, what is it exactly?

So we research wood, you know, to make safe, dependable products, for houses, buildings, packaging, all those good things. And people eat them. Yeah, I was about to say, in all your research on wood, have you ever come across any scientific findings indicating that chewing on wood makes you smarter? Not yet, but then maybe that'll be my next project. Right.

Well, if things get dicey in the next few minutes, just grab a wooden spoon. Here we go. Cody, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you will be a winner. Here is your first limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you will be a winner.

Here is your first limerick. My new ride is sealed tight as a jar. I've got keys, but I can't get too far. New tech is a scandal. I can't budge the handle. I cannot get into my... Car. handle. I cannot get into my car. Yeah. Car, right. Drivers everywhere are fed up with how complicated the door handles are these days. Gone are the days of the simple just like grab it and pull. Now if you want to get into the car, you need to push like a concealed button or if you have a Tesla, whisper five things you did for Elon Musk this week. I can't remember the last time I saw an actual key for a car.

No, no, yeah, they're gone. My new car, if you walk up to it, it knows you're coming and opens up its handles for you. It says, oh, I'm unlocked. And the funny thing is that it has a timer and if you don't grab a handle, it locks it. So if you're me and you're not particularly quick and sensitive to potential insults, it feels like, oh, Peter, welcome. Psych. All right. Here's your next limer. At our club, we make sure that this show rocks. We ban faces that register no shocks. Once you wrinkle and crack, we'll invite you all back. But don't come if your face has had... Oh, jeez.

Botox? Botox, yes. Good man. A comedy club in the United Kingdom says that the standups who perform there are tired of playing to botoxed people and their quote frozen faces because it's impossible to tell or not whether their jokes are landing they come backstage saying I did all my best material but the front row just looked constantly surprised it sounds like maybe these aren't the best stand-ups in

the world I didn't know Botox kept your mouth from making noises. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I can imagine that. I mean, I've never tried it, but I know it paralyzes your facial muscles, so I imagine even if you do laugh, it doesn't sound great. Ha ha ha ha. We're like, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh. Help me. Yeah.

I turn away anybody who's had a, if they've got big rocking jugs, they're not allowed on my show. Really? No, I don't know. I don't make the rules. All right. Here's your last limerick. In big boxes, they pick up the slack.

They're called peanuts and help people pack. Dissolved, they look spreadable, yet they're not edible. Stop munching them like they're a snack. Exactly right. Experts are worried about a new TikTok trend, yet another one, where people are eating those biodegradable packing peanuts, arguing that they're edible because they dissolve in your mouth. Okay, a rule of thumb.

If you have to argue that something is edible, you have already lost the argument. But are they healthier than Girl Scout cookies? That's the question. At this point, play it on the safe side. Eat the packing peanuts. This makes a lot of sense though. I mean, I think at this point we're all like, enough with ingesting microplastics.

I want macroplastics. Bill, how did Cody do in our quiz? Cody, Cody, Cody got a perfect score. Well done, Cody. Nice. Thank you. Must be all that wood you work with. Congratulations and keep up the good work. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Emmy has three.

Fortune and Peter each have four. Okay. All right, Emmy, you are in second place. So you will begin fill-in-the-blank. On Thursday, President Trump withdrew his nominee for the director of the blank. Is it the Center for Disease Control? Yes, it is. The CDC.

On Sunday, Mark Carney was sworn in as the new prime minister of blank. Canada. Right. This week, a judge in New York blocked White House efforts to deport legal resident Mahmoud Khalil over his participation in protests against blank. The war in the Middle East. Yeah, war in Gaza. After the International Criminal Court issued a warrant for his arrest,

former Philippine President Blank was taken into custody there. Rodrigo Duterte. Very good, yes. This week in Australia, one of the highest concentrations of dinosaur footprints ever recorded in a single fossil was discovered in a blank. A nightclub. No. In a high school where the slab had been sitting there for 20 years without anyone noticing all the dinosaur footprints. This week, RFK Jr. said that vaccinating against blank flu could have unexpected side effects.

Bird flu? Yes. On Tuesday, Fashion Week in blank came to a close. Paris? Yes. This week, a man in Florida was arrested for stealing a pair of diamond earrings worth $700,000, but police had to wait a while before gathering the evidence because Blank. He ate them. Yes, he did! Oh, wow.

Nice job. Very well done. The cell person should have known that something was up when the man said, whoa, these diamond earrings are so beautiful. Do they come with any kind of dipping sauce? Bill, I think, I mean, he did very well. Yeah, very well. Seven right, 14 more points.

Whoa. Total of 17 hard to beat. All right. Read it and weep winners. Yeah, I don't watch the news enough for this. Okay. Well, you know, it's okay. But you ready to try this?

We're going to go next, all right? Yeah. Here we go, Fortune. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Russia rejected a U.S. brokered cease-file deal with blank. Ukraine. Right. On Tuesday, the House passed a temporary spending bill aimed at averting a blank.

Shutdown. Right. As part of its ongoing trade war, President Trump imposed a 25% blank on steel and aluminum imports. Terror. Right. On Thursday, it was announced that the return of the astronauts stuck on the blank would again be delayed. The moon.

No, the International Space Station. This week the- Can we not go back? Not yet. Not yet. This week, the band Tool was booed offstage at a music festival organized by blank. King Charles.

No, by the band. Good guess, though. By the band Tool. Following multiple crashes, sales of tickets for blanks have dropped considerably. Airplanes. Right. On Thursday it was confirmed the comedian Nikki Glaser

would return to host the 2026 Blank Awards. Golden Globes. Right. This week a newlywed couple in the Maldives are closer than ever after they shared a blank on their honeymoon. Bed. No, they shared a blank on their honeymoon. Bed. No, they shared a single life jacket after their ferry boat sank.

Oh. After the ferry carrying 50 people sank, the newlywed shared a single life jacket until help finally arrived and they were rescued somewhere. Jack from Titanic is like, oh, come on, what the hell? There was room on that door. She had a life jacket on. Bill, how did Fortune do her first time on this quiz? Fortune's a player. Five right, ten more points. Fourteen is her total, but she trails Emmy.

Oh, man. Good job. How many then does Peter need to overtake Emmy and win the game? Peter needs seven to win. All right, Peter, me and win the game. Peter needs seven to win. All right, Peter, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Trump administration announced massive layoffs at the Department of Blank. Education. Right. On Tuesday, officials in New Mexico and Oklahoma confirmed cases of blank linked to the outbreak in Texas. Oh, measles.

Right. This week, the EPA was directed to roll back a Biden-era rule mandating less pollution from blanks. Carbon monoxide, right? Less pollution from what? From cars. Oh, from cars, yeah. And just about everything. Saying that the paper's freedoms have dangerously eroded in the past year, an editor of the

blank resigned on Monday. Washington Post. Right. This week, an Arizona dentist who used household pliers on a patient told the disciplinary board, blank. They asked for it. No, he said, quote, it was a bad choice. I will acknowledge that. Tuesday marked the five-year anniversary of the WHO

declaring blank a pandemic. COVID. This week, after a mom in Wisconsin ate summer for four-year-old's ice cream, the boy responded by blanking. Throwing up in her face. No, by calling the cops on her. After catching his mom eating ice cream, the young boy called 911 and told the dispatcher,

come and get my mommy, she needs to go to jail. It was really kind of sweet. The police, you know, they heard the call, they stopped, they got some ice cream, they brought the toddler the new ice cream, and they arrested the mom after planting a bag of drugs on her. Bill, did Peter Gross do well enough to win? Well, they got five right, ten more points. Fourteen, which is a tie with fortune, but Emmy is our winner.

Yeah. Yay, Emmy. Woo. Well done. Watch me now. Coming up, our panelists predict after his new radio show, what will be the next surprising new job for King Charles of the United Kingdom. But first, let me tell you all, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago. In association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Kotka, writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shayna Donald, thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. BJ Liedemann composed our theme.

Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Mohanad Elshehi and Monica Hickey. Our meme girl is Peter Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical Directors, Milorna White, our CFO is Colin Miller. Our mean girl is Peter Gwynn. Emma Choi is our Vive curator. Technical Directors from Lorna White and CFO is Colin Miller.

Our Production Manager is Robert Newhouse. Our Senior Producer is Ian Chilag and the Executive Producer, but wait, wait, don't tell me that's Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will King Charles do next? Emmy Blotnick. Reviews of fast food burgers from the driver's seat of a parked Nissan.

Peter Gross. He's going to force his radio show on the countries of India, Bermuda, Jamaica, Gambia, and the Falkland Islands whether they want to listen to it or not. And Fortune Feimster. He's going to be a beat cop with Amanda on a new show airing on Peacock. Well, if any of that happens, we're

going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank Me. Thank you Bill Curtis thanks also to Peter Gross, Emmy Blotnick and Fortune Finkler. Thanks to all of you for listening here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago and wherever you might happen to be I'm Peter Sagal we'll see you next week from Orlando Florida. This is NPR. These days, there's so much news, it can be hard to keep up with what it all means for you, your family, and your community. The Consider This podcast from NPR features our award-winning journalism.

Six days a week, we bring you a deep dive on a news story and provide the context and analysis that helps you make sense of the news. We get behind the headlines. We get to the truth. Listen to the Consider This podcast from NPR. Mike and Scott Should you throw out your black plastic cooking utensils? Can we decode whale language? And how do you stop procrastinating? I'm Mike and Scott. Every week, the Pulse digs into health and science issues that matter to you and your life. Listen to the Pulse podcast from WHYY, part of the NPR Network.