Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Bob Seger

Episode Date: September 2, 2023

Bob Seger is an Ann Arbor legend, a Rock-and-Roll Hall of Famer who also happens to be one of the best selling artists of all time. He made it big with "Night Moves" but can he answer our questions about Knight Moves, or chess strategies?Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. Me in Michigan, you got your wish again. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Hill Auditorium at Ann Arbor, Michigan, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much. It is absolutely great to be here in Ann Arbor, home, of course, of the University of Michigan, where we understand there is also a big football game this weekend. They care about that. We had been really excited because we thought all those people were tailgating for the listener limerick challenge.

Later on, we're going to be talking to rock and roll hall of famer and Ann Arbor native Bob Seger. But first, it's your turn to play that old-time news quiz. Give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now, let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Rich, and I live in Cape Charles, Virginia, which is a small beach town on the Chesapeake Bay.

Right, okay. Thank you for letting us know so we can find you. Rich, it's a pleasure to talk to you. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a comedian you can see at the House of Comedy in Detroit, not far from here. On September 8th and 9th, it's Josh Gondelman.

Hey. Hey, how you doing? Next up, she hosts the trivia podcast Go Fact Yourself, and she'll be performing in Springfield, Massachusetts at Roar Comedy Club at MGM September 29th and 30th. It's Helen Hong. Hi, Rich. Hi, everybody. Hi, Helen.

And his witty and brilliant sub stack column is Take Another Piece of My Heart Now. It's Roy Blunt Jr. Hey, how you doing? Hi, Roy. So, Rich, as I'm sure you anticipated, you're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis right here on stage with us is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. Your job correctly identify or explain just two of them.

Do that, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. You ready to go? I am. All right, then. Let's proceed. Here is your first quote. Nope.

I'm done with masks. That was a commenter in the New York Times. Somebody who, like many people, knows that there is a COVID surge going on right now, but does not what? Doesn't mask up. Doesn't mask up because he does not give a... Damn. Yeah, that'll do, yes.

He doesn't care. Authorities are warning about, quote, the summer COVID bump, which is either a surge in the virus or a weird new symptom. That's when you have so much COVID you're pregnant. That's true, yeah. There's a new variant.

Cases are up around the country, or as most Americans put it, no, they're not. I don't want to admit this, but I was put off recently by some really awful, uncooperative, obnoxious person who referred to masks as face diapers. Yes, that is a phrase that you hear among certain circles. Yeah. Did they say that to you? Didn't say me directly. No, they wouldn't.

They wouldn't say that to me directly because I'm pretty good with my fists. Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't take you on. I wouldn't get into it with you. See, I mean, it's... That's the real pandemic. It's just the destruction Roy is leaving coast to coast. Nobody pays any attention to COVID anymore, so clearly COVID needs a better PR strategy.

So, like, maybe COVID could get photographed making out with Pete Davidson. Well, everybody else has. Why not? That would be a good image to put on my mask. It seems now that COVID, it's just going to keep coming back over and over again, whether we want it to or not.

It's like the low-rise genes of respiratory illnesses. I wish we could go 20 years between variants, though. And then we'd be like, oh, no, you don't want to do this. I had this in high school. All right, here is your next quote. Not everyone who thinks they have riz actually has riz. That was somebody quoted in a Wall Street Journal article talking about how parents are having a lot of trouble understanding what right now?

Teenagers. Teenagers, yes. Teenagers. Teen slang. Thanks to social media, slang is developing faster than ever before and parents are completely lost. Old people seem worried about this, but this is how it should be. If you can understand what your kid is saying, your kid is lame. The Journal started to investigate new slang a few months ago after parents across the country heard their kid saying that Livvy rizzed up Baby Gronk and immediately called an exorcist.

It's true. I mean, this has been happening, right? This has been true for as long as there's been parents and kids. Will Smith once rapped, parents just don't understand. And if you remember that Will Smith used to be a rapper, you're old. Riz means, like, cool. Well, Riz means, and I will tell you what it means, quote, a mix of confidence, charm, magnetism, attractiveness, and a certain je ne sais quoi, unquote. That's from, of course, the Tribune of Today's Youth, the Wall Street

Journal. I was going to say, Riz went out the second you just said that. I know, pretty much. I'm sorry. Parents are, like, freaking out. They don't know what their kids are talking about, but it's good that kids have new words. Nobody wants their 14-year-old to be like, dadgum

boll weevils horn swaddling this platoon. Oh, I don't know. It's good enough for me. I'm so embarrassed. Short for charisma is the middle. Yeah, that's what we were told. I've been calling it sma. I've been calling it ZMA.

I've been calling it KA. We're both so out of it. Here is your last quote, and it is about a new section of seating being offered by some airlines. You can fly in peace. That was Forbes talking about these special sections on airplanes You can fly in peace. Kids. Yes, kids, exactly.

Airlines are piloting a program where you can pay a premium to sit in a section walled off from babies and toddlers. Right? This is guaranteed to succeed. People will pay $100 extra to sit far away from other people's children and $300 to sit far away from their own children. At first, I was really excited about this, but then it doesn't take care of all the, like, Looney Tunes people that are on the planes these days.

Yeah, that's exactly right. I mean, that takes place like 1% of the problems you have flying. Like you've never seen a viral video of a baby needing to be duct taped into their chair. Yeah. So you're looking for the adult free section. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah.

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. And what's weird is this is going to create a financial incentive for airlines to pack planes with, like, obnoxious toddlers or miserable babies. Right? I didn't even think of that. To encourage the adults to pay the premium to get rid of them. That's why flight attendants are, like, whispering to babies as they come on the plane, the monster can only get you if you fall asleep. I didn't even think of that. That's so evil.

I know. I'm a little suspicious of this because I'm old enough to remember when there were smoking and non-smoking sections of a restaurant. And I feel like if you're on a plane with a baby, you're in the baby section of that plane. Right, exactly. And what's interesting is the babies will be segregated from the rest of the flight, but to make up for it, they will be allowed to smoke. Bill, how did Rich do on our quiz? We called it a winner at 3-0.

Congratulations, Rich. Hey, thank you very much. Thanks for calling in to play. All right, thank you very much. Thanks for calling in to play. All right, thank you very much. Take care. Bye-bye. Right now, panel, it is, of course, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Roy, according to the New York Times, bartenders are dealing with a new problem from their male customers. Apparently, all the young men are worried about being seen drinking out of what? Drinking out of some kind of environmental thing?

No, no. It's like they want their, like, I don't know, martinis served in a drinking horn. Drinking what? Drinking, like the Viking drinking horn. Horn. Oh. Is that the answer? No, that is not the answer. That is a suggestion of what

the answer might be because they don't want to enjoy their cocktails out of what? Out of plastic. No. No. Out of girly... That's it. Out of girly glasses. What? That's what they don't want.

You know how it is. You know how it is. I'm just speaking to my bros now. You know how it is. You're out with the guys for a couple of drinks, desperate to tell them all the things you did not like about the Barbie movie. And suddenly you notice, like, the cocktail you ordered is being served in like this delicate stemmed piece of glassware and that's not good. You can't drink out of something

that is as fragile as your masculinity. The men aren't laughing. They know it's true. So according to the Times, the bartenders in the city are noticing more and more men coming back with their cocktails, right? And they're saying, hey, could you pour this into a rocks glass? That's more manly.

Yeah, yeah. Or if they're available, could you put it into an empty PBR can with a cigarette butt floating in it? Give it to me in a sponge and I'll squeeze it out. I would love the bartenders to be like, just screaming really loudly. Of course, sir, I will put your appletini into a mead cup. No problem. into a mead cup.

No problem. What do you want me to do with the chocolate kiss that goes with it? Hey, in the back, this guy's ordering a real small penis. Real small penis for the guy in the back.

Coming up, how to make your next road trip a lot more exciting in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-t8-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Roy Blunt Jr., Helen Hong, and Josh Gundelman.

And here again is your host at the Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor, Michigan, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you all. You're so kind. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff listener game. Call 1-888- Wait, Wait to play our game on the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, this is Alex calling from Salt Lake City, Utah. Salt Lake City, a beautiful place. I love it there. What do you do there? I am a sales representative for a wine and spirits brokerage. Tough town for that. Yeah, you sell liquor in Utah. There may or may not be some high-ranking church officials

that you might see walking in and out of a... Oh, wow. Wow, do you have to meet them in an alley and hand them a really nice Chardonnay in a little paper bag? I mean... Oh, well, no, they don't have that good of taste. Look, I don't want to call anyone out specifically for bad taste, but Mitt Romney's favorite food is hot dogs. There you are.

Well, welcome to the show, Alex. You are going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Alex's topic? Road trip. Oh, the road trip. A chance to see America and sample its great bounty of gas station restrooms.

Some of my finest memories. Our panelists are going to tell you about a road trip with a rather unique theme that we read about in the news this week. Pick the one that's telling the truth. You'll win the wait-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Can't wait. All right. Well, then, let's get right to it.

First, let's hear from Helen Hong. A Montana retiree is on a mission to find his one true Janet. Years earlier, a psychic once told Brian Jarboe the love of his life would be named Janet. And he took that to heart, marrying and then divorcing five different women named Janet. After attempting to date every Janet in Montana, Brian decided to take his quest for his Janet nationwide. He's crisscrossing the country in an RV emblazoned with signs reading, honk if you're Janet. He has dozens of posts on Craigslist and billboard and newspaper ads proclaiming, hey Janet, call me. Brian says he has been on about 36 dates with women named Janet.

A lot of Janets reject me outright. They think it's weird. But I'm on my way to meet a Janet in Colorado who's been married to three different guys named Brian. I have a good feeling about her. A man convinced he's destined to marry a woman named

Janet heads out on the road to find her. Your next story of heading out on the highway comes from Roy Blunt Jr. This year, the Gillulies, Wayne and Tessa, saw the last of their seven kids leave the nest. At first, says Tessa, we were kind of at loose ends. But then we thought, we're free. kind of at loose ends. But then we thought, we're free. Next summer, Wayne and Tessa will be on tour stopping at every spot where they tried over the years

to have a nice family vacation, but the kids ruined it. The Grand Canyon size, Wayne. Nobody gets poison ivy in the Grand Canyon. Wayne Jr. did. All over his body, says Tessa. We had to turn right around and go home. And that lovely whale watch. Our children were banned from whale watches for life.

The kids were nice about it, gave their blessing, but then we started hearing, why don't you take the grandkids? At first, we were tempted, but Tessa said, no, just no, and she was right. A couple of empty nesters goes out to recreate all their family vacations successfully this time because they won't bring the kids. Your last joyride comes from Josh Gombelman. Over a decade ago, Dylan Stone Miller, then a college student, needed some cash in a hurry. So he headed to the local sperm bank and took matters into his own hands. Literally.

Stone Miller made dozens of deposits, collecting $100 for each one. Recently, though, Stone Miller learned that his deposits have matured, and he is the biological father to 96 children. Top that, Nick Cannon. This summer, the now 32-year-old computer scientist quit his job and embarked on a 9,000-mile journey to meet as many of these kids as he can. Presumably, so when the children are old enough to ask, where do babies come from, their parents can say, that guy. to ask, where do babies come from?

Their parents can say, that guy. All right. One of these road trips, Alex, is either going to happen or already has. Is it from Helen Hong, a man heading out on the road to find the Janet, specifically Janet of his dreams. From Roy, an older couple deciding that those family vacations they have with kids

would be much better without them. Or from Josh, a man who fathered 96 kids through sperm donation, trying to go out and meet as many of them as he can. Which of these is the real story of a road trip we found in the news? Josh's story made me laugh a lot. I really wish it could be that one. I have a feeling that it is Helen's story. So you're choosing Helen's story of a man looking for love, specifically

from Janet. Well, to bring you the true story, we decided to talk to an expert on road trips. Before you head out on your big road trip to visit your 96 donor children, make sure your car is in tip-top shape. That was Andrew Gross, a spokesperson for AAA on how to prepare for the road trip

to see your 96 donor children. I'm sorry, Alex, but as you now know, Josh had the real answer. However, you got a point for Helen for being convincing. Thank you. Thank you so much for playing, Alex.

Thank you for having me. And now the game where we ask local legends to answer questions about obscure things from far away. Once upon a time, there was a high school kid here in Ann Arbor who listened to rock and roll on the radio and dreamed of starting his own band. That's not unusual, but this kid, Bob Seger, grew up to be one of the best and a 2004 inductee into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He still lives here near where he grew up, and we are delighted he joins us now. Bob Seger, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Time.

Thank you. Thank you. So you still live here after growing up here. Did you ever do, I mean, I assumed you did, because this is what I assumed all rock and roll gods did, like live in a house in the hills in L.A. and have the same party. I did. Yeah. The cover of Stranger in Town is taken on the front lawn of a house I rented in L.A.

And that was pretty wild. I remember there was no cable back then. Oh, yeah. So the first cable I was ever exposed to was the Z Channel in L.A. It was only in L.A. And I'd watch these movies like Rocky and things like that in the 70s. And I'd watch these movies like Rocky and things like that in the 70s. And they'd show them over and over, especially as it got closer to the Academy Awards.

I'm just going to express a little bit of amazement that in talking about your life as a rock and roll god living in L.A. in the 70s, the exciting thing that you wanted to tell us about was cable TV. My main friends out there were Don Henley and Glenn Frey. Yeah, okay. Especially Glenn, who was from Royal Oak. I watched that documentary about the Eagles, and they broke up because they actually couldn't, they were arguing over the remote. Exactly. They're like, what are we going to watch?

So this cable thing really tracks. Yeah, a lot of them. I've seen a lot of behind the music, where they had to give up cable to get their life back together. They argued about everything. One of the things I found out, and it's not hard to find out if you just listen to the lyrics, that many of your most well-known songs are about your life here in Ann Arbor.

So, for example, your song Night Moves. Night Moves. As you once put it, that took you from the bus to the jet, right? Sure. That was about my first girlfriend, and I was about 17. girlfriend and uh i was about 17 and um uh we would have these parties called grassers out between dexter and ann arbor in farmer's fields and stuff like that and uh this buddy my name richie gregory had a upside down record player in his chevrolet so he could play 45s and we'd all listen to the music and leave the headlights on

and get run off by the farmers after a time. You were just young and restless and bored, living by the sword. Living by the sword. I'll tell you what, living by the sword, you nailed it because that's a much better rhyme than

partying near manure. Thank you. So when I realized, I mean it's not that's a much better rhyme than partying near manure. Thank you. So, you know, when I realized, I mean, it's not that bad. I thought about that. There's like a notebook somewhere in your archives of like the word manure. No, no, no, no. I used to write great lists of rhymes. I think that might have been one of them.

I want to ask about one more thing, which is that we were watching some of your videos, and I had forgotten what amazing hair you used to have. I mean, beautiful, long, luxuriant. Yeah. And that was just the beard. That was the hair. And I'm like, was there like a law that if you were a rock star in the 70s, you just had to have the hair?

Yeah, pretty much. And I never had it after 1980. Really? Yeah, after Against the Wind. And we had three huge albums, Nightmove, Stranger Town, Against the Wind, and Line Bullet. Night Moves, Stranger in Town against the Wind and Line Bullet and I just

it was hard to walk around I used to put it under a baseball cap so finally I just said to heck with it I'm cutting it off really did that ever look back no for those out there who still might have a hair,

I'm not speaking for myself, do you, 1970s rock god, have any hair care tips for them? Is there anything you've picked up? Don't lose it. Where were you and I needed that hair? That's a sad one.

Now you tell us. Well, Bob Steger, we are so excited to have you with us. And we have, in fact, invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling... Working on our knight moves. Okay. So you sang about knight moves. We thought we'd ask you about knight with a K moves. That is the game of chess.

Okay. Specifically, three questions about how people have attempted to cheat is the game of chess. Specifically, three questions about how people have attempted to cheat in the game of chess over the years. Bill, who is Bob Seger playing for? Gabby Ford of Ann Arbor, Michigan. There you go.

Ready to go? Yeah. Here's your first question. Rui Lopez of Spain was one of the first great chess masters who wrote a book on the game back in the 16th century. In that book, he suggests cheating how? A, sitting with your back to the sun so your opponent is blinded. B, if any pawn approaches your castle, pour hot oil on it. Or C, as your opponent is considering his move,

quietly say, I have the plague. That one still works. You can still do that one. It still works. I would say C. You're going to go sit to C. That's your choice? That's my choice. Oh, no, I'm afraid it was actually A, sit

so your opponent is blinded by the sun. Oh. And if you're a competitive chess player and you're taking notes out there and you ask, well, what if you're playing indoors? No problem. Rui Lopez says, sit by the fire in such a way that you cast a shadow over the board

when your opponent plays. Oh, wow. It all worked out. You have two more questions. Here's your next question. By the way, you're handling this in exactly the manner and approach that I dreamed you would. Just so you know. This is great.

Here's your next question. In one of the great scandals of chess, a grandmaster was accused of cheating at the 1978 World Championships by using what foreign substance to help his game? A, yogurt, B, topical steroids, or C, horse tranquilizer?

You can see in his eyes, he's like, what drugs were going around in the late 70s? He's like, but I don't know. I was watching cable. Bad batch of yogurt derailed an entire tour. Steroids are cool. Steroids. You're going to do topical steroids.

If I get a little steroids on his stuff. There you go. And all of a sudden, he's like hairs growing out of the back of his hand. It could work, but it was yogurt. Give me an advantage. It was yogurt. He was accused of cheating with yogurt. The idea was his opponent, at one point, the guy, the Grandmaster Karpov was his name,

got a yogurt snack, some violet-covered yogurt, and his opponent freaked out and said, Aha, your team is sending you a signal with the color of yogurt to tell you what to do. And they had to stop the match and work it all out until they agreed that from then on, he would only get yogurt at prearranged intervals and it would always be the same color. That's all true chess. It's a weird game. Yeah.

All right. You have one more choice here. Let's see what we can do. Yeah, okay. We're going against the wind. But just a few years ago a grandmaster was stripped of his title and thrown out of competition forever

after he was caught doing what during a match A. going to the bathroom and then sitting in the stall and checking a chess computer on his phone B. making little ka-ching noises in his mouth whenever he captured an opponent's piece

or C. Constantly posing for his Instagram feed? Uh... Hey. Hey. Thank you. Finally. Finally, the Bob Seger fan base rises up in defense. Waiting for that to happen. A, you're going to go with A?

A is right, that's what happens. I can't think of any more. Seriously, and you can find online, because there was a security camera, he should have known, of this grandmaster sitting on a closed toilet looking at his his phone going, oh, that's how a knight moves. Okay, yes. Bill, how did Bob Seger do in our quiz? He got one out of three, so the knight moves are a little thin, but you are always a winner with that old-time rock and roll.

Yes, indeed. Bob Seger is an immortal legend of rock and roll. Bob Seger, thank you so much for joining us here. In just a minute, an unattractive tourist attraction is our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.

We are playing this week with Roy Blunt Jr., Josh Gundelman, and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor, Michigan, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill gives you the Rymola variant in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-888-888.

That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from this week's news. Josh, the U.S. Open Tennis Tournament is happening in Queens, New York, and one of the biggest stories so far is the players all complaining about what? Oh, tennis players, they're so picky.

They are. The balls are too round. They complain about anything. Can I have a hint, please? You can. It's weird because the US Open is played on hard court, not grass. Not grass. The smell of weed?

Yes. They're all complaining about the stink of marijuana, which is ever-present at the stadium. Yeah. Quote, Court 17 smells like Snoop Dogg's living room. That's according to Alexander Zverev, 12th-ranked tennis player and first-ranked narc.

I did not know that tennis watchers were so cool. Apparently. The aroma has been reported everywhere at the U.S. Open, where on Tuesday night, Novak Djokovic won in a match that included nine aces and a 17-minute guitar solo. Do you think they're doing it to chill out the umpires? Possibly. The umpires are so like, they're so like,

tennis umpires. Yeah., they're so like, tennis umpires. Yeah. Now they're like, maybe. Josh, this week the New York Times reported on a new type of helpful service. You can now hire people who will test if your romantic partner will do what?

Oh. It's bad how quickly my brain went, cheat on you. Exactly right, cheat on you. You can go to a site called Loyalty Test and you can hire an attractive person to contact your loved one online and see how easy it is to tempt that person to cheat.

This is a technological innovation over the prior test for cheating, coming home for lunch unannounced whoa yeah how do you contact them online are they on online dating sites because that's already a red flag so usually it happens through like instagram say so you content you contact this person right and people volunteer to do this and they, you hire someone to slide into their DMs? Exactly. Oh, man. Right.

And then what happens is, is the person will slide into their DMs, as you young people say, and they'll say, hey, you know, oh, I'm coming to your city. Would you show me around? Here's my picture. And if they indicate that they're, you know, down for it, as it were,

then the idea is the tester cuts off all contact and then reports you to your partner. You come home and you go, aha, I knew it, as it were, then the idea is the tester cuts off all contact and then reports you to your partner. You come home and you go, aha, I knew it, Janet. Right. And this is one of the cool things. So people volunteer to be loyalty testers, right? And they set their own rates. So you have to be careful to pick the right one to test your loved one. You want someone just right on the attractiveness scale between, well, of course, she wouldn't be tempted on the one end, and honestly, who could blame her on the other?

Ryan Reynolds is not for rent. No, I do not believe Ryan Reynolds is on that, really. Because, yeah, you'd be like, yeah, you should. You'd be crazy not to. It was just a good choice. That was just me seeing if you know how to make good decisions, cost-benefit analysis and such. What if you're using another name,

and you hear somebody slides into your DMs, and you say, Martha? And she's got a job doing that stuff. And she doesn't realize that she's, this is the problem. She doesn't realize whom she's testing. You've accidentally written the Pina Colada song. That's what just happened. That happens.

It's like, the Pina Colada song is like biological activity. It just spontaneously happens every few centuries. Wait, wait, don't miss this week's bonus episode available now. It's another edition of the Wait, Wait, Wayback Machine, the game where we ask a listener questions that appeared on our show 20 years ago. So remember, this is December 2002. Someone's deciding not to run. Okay, so December 2002.

I'm just trying to put this into my Wayback Machine myself. If you sign up for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus, you can hear that now and learn how you could play in a future episode by supporting Plus, you're supporting NPR, which no joke, really matters. Thanks for listening. Okay, back to the show. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank,

but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago. Or on the road, we'll be in L.A. on September 28th and Hartford, Connecticut on October 19th. Please check out the Wait, Wait! Stand-Up Tour.

That's going to be in San Diego September 27th and San Francisco September 29th. To see all dates and for tickets and info about all our live events, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Jennifer from Santa Cruz, California. Hey, Santa Cruz, absolutely beautiful place. What do you do there? I am a reading and math intervention teacher. Oh, wow. She sees kids reading or doing math and she's like, knock it off. These kids walk up to their math textbook, she leaps in front going, no. You've had enough of that.

Exactly. Go play. Jennifer, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a big winner. You ready to play? I'm ready. Here is your first limerick. The batting cage is a real hallmark, and there's floodlights. It never gets all dark. This Airbnb throws the clubhouse in free. We will stay in a minor league.

Ballpark. Ballpark, that's right. If you have ever wanted to kick back and watch, say, Real Housewives on a Jumbotron, you've got great news for you. Real Housewives on a Jumbotron. You've got great news for you. You can now rent an entire baseball stadium on Airbnb, finally putting the home in home plate.

It's a minor league stadium, but a real one, a big one. It sounds like a great idea, unless, of course, it rains. It would be really hard to pull that whole tarp out by yourself. I've been to so many Airbnbs where there's a weird list of chores you have to do at the house. Yeah, it's like so many of them. They have all these weird stipulations. And I just know if you stayed there, they'd be like, okay, remember, take your shoes off when you come in.

Also, you're batting clean up tonight. Sweep off the home plate. Yeah, exactly. And before you leave, you have to flip up all the seats back, okay? Here is your next limerick. We've seen Broadway. We've eaten at Cats bought some knockoff bags t-shirts and hats

now we hope to procure a real live rodent tour come on New York show us your rats. Rats Jennifer yes rats. Visitors to New York can now go on authentic New York rat tours.

One tour guide offers sights of the rats around Rockefeller Center. Another takes you to see Chinatown's rats. While yet another popular tour is called, just stand literally anywhere, look down. Seriously, it's called going on the subway. They're there. I know. As a New Yorker, I feel like rats. Oh, that's the tourist thing.

You want a real New York experience, go see the roaches. Yeah. Here is your last limerick. Plant-based food makes for healthier eating. But don't brag on the menu I'm reading. Dishes just can't compete if you say, there's no meat. So don't mention the option is...

Gleaton. Gleaton. Gleaton. Gleaton. It's gluten's cousin. Gluten's cousin. Yeah. You've already won, so I'll give it to you. It's vegan, of course. I know. It doesn't really rhyme, but there you are. To be fair, in California, there are many shades of vegan. That's true. That's right. It's vegan, of course. I know. It doesn't really rhyme, but there you are. To be fair, in California,

there are many shades of vegan. That's true. That's right. That's the plant-based Fifty Shades of Grey. Many shades of vegan. It's like, don't worry, these restraints are hemp rope, no leather. Anyway. Vegan is the answer. According to new research, people are more likely to buy something vegan if it does not say vegan is the answer. According to new research, people are more likely to buy something vegan if it does not say vegan on the label.

It makes sense. You wouldn't buy a cookie if the label said bad cookie. This is also, by the way, a helpful tip. This is also true for vegans themselves. If you want people to like you, do not mention you're vegan. But there is, like, lots of good vegan food. But I do sometimes, like, when they go out of their way. Because I'll eat a carrot.

Right. But if someone was like, vegan, plant-based carrot, I'd be like, do you have any other carrots? Yeah. Bill, how did Jennifer do in our quiz? She did great. Two out of three. Congratulations. Jennifer, thank you so much for playing. Thank you. Take care. Now on to our final game, lightning fill in the blank. Each of

our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Josh and Helen each have three, and Roy has two. Okay, so that means, Roy, you're in third place, so you will go first, if that's okay with you. All right. All right. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Monday, a judge sent a March 4th trial date for Blank's election interference case. I think that was probably a name that I would rather not pronounce, but for this case. On Wednesday, the Kremlin said that Blank's plane was possibly downed intentionally. Forgozha. That's the guy.

This week, hundreds of thousands of people were left without power as Hurricane Blank passed through the southeast. Idalia. Yeah. On Thursday, Blank officially disclosed the private trips paid for him by Harlan Crowe. Clarence Town. That's the man. This week, a man in Nebraska was pulled over when police spotted him driving with blank. A bull in the front seat.

Yes, indeed. A huge African bull named Howdy Doody. And I thought this was a free country. On Wednesday, new research showed that a drug used to treat type 2 diabetes was effective at combating long blank. COVID. COVID. Yes. This week it was announced that a concert film of Blank's era's tour would come to theaters in October.

Taylor, what's her name? Taylor. You got to give it to him. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. And God have mercy on your soul. This week we learned that while Meghan Markle was starring in the legal drama Suits, the royal family edited the scripts to make sure that she did not say on screen the word blank.

Queen? No. They did not want her to say the word poppycock. Ah. What? The crown was apparently scandalized that a future royal might say the word poppycock, so they had it cut from the script. The show's creators are not sure how the royal family

got the scripts. Their censors just started calling the producers with notes right around the time that one PA started wearing the crown jewels of Ethiopia. Bill, how did Roy do in our quiz? Roy did really well. Seven right, fourteen more points.

Total of sixteen in the lead. Okay. Helen, I'm going to arbitrarily pick you to go next, so fill in the blank. For the second time in a month, Senate Minority Leader Blank appeared to freeze during a public appearance. Mitch McConnell. Yes, on Tuesday, a judge found former Trump lawyer Blank liable for defaming election workers in Georgia. Rudy Giuliani. This week, one of the leaders of the Proud Boys was sentenced to 17 years for his part in Blank. January 6th. Rudy Giuliani.

January 6th. Spain? Arrested for robbery. No, was in fact robbed themselves. Blanked. Arrested for robbery. No, was in fact robbed themselves. A full decade after her first win, gymnast Blank made history by winning her eighth U.S. gymnastics title. Simone Biles.

You bet. On Monday, Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Blank, passed away at the age of 49. Joe the Tank? No. Joe the Plumber, Helen. Joe the Plumber, Helen. Joe the Plumber. This week, a man in Georgia was arrested after he snuck onto his neighbor's property and stole blank. His garden gnome that was like an otter? No, he stole his neighbor's entire front porch.

The porch, which police described as, quote, very well constructed, disappeared in the middle of the night, and the man's next-door neighbor was the immediate suspect, which made sense, because suddenly his house was the only one on the block that had a front porch, a back porch, and a top porch. Bill, how did Helen do in our quiz? Five right, ten more points, thirteen, you're in second place. All right, that means that Josh needs how many to win, Bill? Seven to win. Oh, my goodness.

That's a lot. Here we go, Josh. This is for the game. On Tuesday, the White House released a list of the ten blanks that will be the focus of price negotiations. Prescription drugs. Right. On Wednesday, Ukraine launched their largest wave of drone strikes against targets inside Blank's borders. Russia?

Yes, starting on Monday. Overdose antidote Blank will be available over the counter. Naloxone? It's called Narcan. It's the same thing. On Wednesday, it was announced that Mark Thompson would take over as CEO of news channel Blank. CNN? Yes, this week a woman in Boston filed a lawsuit against Italian food giant Eataly after she slipped on blank in one of their stores. Olive oil? No, a piece of prosciutto.

Oh, that's so much funnier. I know. For the last time since 2037, a rare blue super blank lit up the night sky this week. Moon. Super moon, yeah. This week, a judge ruled that fast food chain blank must face a lawsuit that claims its whoppers are too small.

Burger King. Yes. This week, cadets at West Point Academy excitedly opened a time capsule that had been buried for 200 years and were surprised to find it was filled with blank. Dirt. And then they found some coins. You're right. Mud was what they first found.

In May, staff at West Point found a time capsule and when cadets opened it, they just found a bunch of mud. Apparently, it was the world's first time compost bin. And then, as you say, they dug through it and they found some old coins. But still, congratulations, West Point Cadets. You just got hazed from 200 years ago.

Bill, Josh did well. Did he do well enough to win? Oh, very well. So close, too. But he got seven right. Fourteen more points. Wins with 17 total. Yay! Just on with it! Thank you.

Thank you, Michigan. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the next new slang word and what will it mean. But first, let me tell you all. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ, Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godica writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shana Dommel,

BJ Lederman composed our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grombos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey, Peter Gwynn is our loyalty tester, Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Her CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock and the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, is Mike Sunrise Sunset Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next new bit of slang from the youth, Roy Blunt Jr.? The word slang is going to be the next slang word. And then, he's really slang.

And I think it means far out. Helen Hong. Things will go back to being biblical. Like, yo, that's deep. That's so burning. Bush dog. Straight Abraham right there. And Josh Gommelman.

Dog, straight Abraham right there. And Josh Gondelman. Generation Z Juggalos will refer to their favorite band as the Neurodivergent Clown Posse. Well, if any of those words take off panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to White Boy Jr., Helen Hong, and Josh Gondelman. Thanks to, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to white boy junior Helen Hong and Josh Gettleman. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Hill Auditorium. Everyone at the Ann Arbor Summer Festival. A very special thanks to Michigan Radio and WEMU. Thanks to our fabulous audience here in Ann Arbor. And thanks to everybody at home for listening. I'm Peter Sagan.

We'll see you next week. This is NPR.