Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: David Oyelowo

Episode Date: January 20, 2024

Actor David Oyelowo joins panelists Faith Salie, Helen Hong, and Tom Bodett to talk being mistaken for MLK, how a crush led to his acting career, and more. Get access to bonus episodes, sponsor-free listening, and the chance to participate in a quiz with Peter Sagal when you sign up for Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!+ at plus.npr.org/waitwait.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Big news stories don't always break on your schedule, but with the NPR app, news, culture and podcasts are ready when you want them in your pocket. Download the NPR app today. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Don't go out in the cold. Stay inside and curl up in front of my voice. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre of the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. We have such a good show lined up for you today. I do not want to wait any longer to start it because later on, we are going to be talking to the brilliant actor, David Oyelowo, who is probably most well-known

for playing Martin Luther King in the movie Selma. And for that movie, he says he gained 30 pounds and shaved his hair back to make it look like he was balding, which by strange coincidence is exactly what I had to do to get this job. You can call us just as you are, though. We can't see you. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Jody Riccardi from Highland Park, New Jersey.

Hey, okay. We've got some fans of either you personally or New Jersey in general. I don't know. What do you do there in Highland Park? I work for a nonprofit-profit HIV service organization. Oh, that's very good. So we help people living with HIV. That could be stressful.

What do you do to relax? Well, I have two kids. Oh, so you don't relax. Never mind. I'm sorry I even brought up the concept of relaxing. Let's just move on. Jodi, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, a comedian who will be performing in Montreal January 20th

At Oscar Peterson Hall And in Vancouver January 27th At Granville Island Stage It's Helen Hong Hi Jodi Next, a humorous and founder of Hatch Space Community Woodshop In Brattleboro, Vermont Who is appearing at the 2024 Workbench Con

In Atlanta on March 2nd It's Tom Beaudet. Hello, Jodi. And finally, a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning and the host of the podcast Health Matters, it's Faith Saley. Hey, Jodi. So, Jodi, welcome to the show. Of course, you're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bo Curtis will start us off by reading you, recreating for you three quotations from this week's news. Your job correctly identify or explain two of them. Do that and win our prize. The voice

of anyone you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to do it? I'm ready. Okay. Your first quote is from a voter talking to the New York Times. I wish there were different candidates to choose from. That was somebody getting really excited to vote in what event that's happening where next week? The New Hampshire primary.

The New Hampshire Republican primary, right. Nikki Haley, Ron DeSantis are coming out of the gate hot. They're capitalizing on only losing to Donald Trump by about 30 points each. And they think they can seize the nomination by losing by slightly less in New Hampshire. It's really kind of sad in a way. Ron DeSantis, remember when he was the favorite for the nomination, he was going to win it. He got just 21% in Iowa. That's not just a failing grade. It's so bad he is going to have to repeat the Iowa caucus. I love the quote that Bill said that probably everyone wishes that they had. It's like, you know, when you go to the office kitchen and somebody has brought in a box of chocolates but the only ones left are the orange nougat filled ones that's what it that's

what the entire election vote for the orange this time yeah right yeah the nougat now tom you live in vermont and close to new hampshire are you close enough for anybody to suck up to you just in case? I can see it from my house. I literally can. I don't envy New Hampshire, all this. It's sometimes like being in the hotel room next to the really noisy couple. You know, being in Vermont, nice birds chirping and, you know, just wandering. And then the politics in New Hampshire

there's like a gross orgy but then I read that I got lost in this analogy who's having sex Vermont or New Hampshire well I'm the noisy sex it's the gross sex and Vermont we're too old

for sex. We're just like, keep it down over there. If you didn't have enough reasons to feel bad for Ron DeSantis, he's losing, he's on his way to humiliating defeat, and he has to do it in what happened to be right now

two of the coldest states in the Union. I mean, it's so sad. Not only does he have to go to New Hampshire to lose again, he has to bring his snow heels. He needs those strap-on cleats. Yeah, exactly. So hard to get on stilettos. Jody, your next quote is from an electronic highway sign

on a roadway somewhere in America. Visiting in-laws? slow down, get there late. Sadly, thanks to a new federal rule, states will no longer be able to put up those messages to drivers like that, messages that are meant to be what? Sarcastic? I'll give it to you, funny. Funny messages.

You've probably seen this, right? States putting up these funny digital highway signs in an attempt to get you to pay attention to their messages. Well, now they have been banned. Across the country, scores of dads just lost their dream job. I don't really see how this is going to be effective because how else are drivers going to look up from texting if they're not looking for a sign that says baby Yoda needs a car seat too. Yeah.

Now the federal highway administration says those signs are dangerous because they are distracting. And they issued this new rule in a new 1100 page manual of rules. Weirdly, they recommend reading the whole thing while you're driving. The worst part about this, by the way, is the phrase, quote, intended to be humorous. I mean, who knew the most vicious heckler in comedy is the U.S. Federal Highway Administration?

I love a corny joke. Yeah. And I love, they were so, some of them were so funny and corny. And, like, I just looked up one that said, don't drive star-spangled hammered. Huh? Am I right? Huh?

Try the meal. You changed my mind. The FHA is correct. Yes. All right. Here, Jody, is your last quote. Words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. Those are, of course, the five love languages,

a wildly popular theory about how relationships succeed. But according to new actual scientific research, we now know that that theory is what? Not correct. It is not correct. That is the polite way of putting it. No. I would tell you what it actually is, but they don't allow that love language on NPR. It turns out that those things are not the love languages. Instead, they are lust, greed, avarice, and sloth. This, I can't accept this. All right, well, let me explain before you object. Okay.

Okay. So the idea of the five love languages is that each one of us has a particular way that we prefer to express and receive affection. But this new study says that's all nonsense. Everybody loves all of those things all of the time, right? They're not like kinks. It's not like you say to somebody, I'm a bit of a freak. I like it when you're nice. Is food on that list? Food is not on that list. But gifts. Gifts can be food. And acts of service. Look, I am evangelical about this.

I have been telling people, this came out in the 90s. It is 30 years old. Yeah. And this actually helped me in my, when I kind of understood it, it helped me in my relationship with my husband. Because, you know, like, I think my primary love language is words of affirmation. And I would think, okay, well, he doesn't't he's not going to give me a compliment or 30 um but you know he will always show up and get the dead roach that I run and scream from or he'll unload the dishwasher and I was like okay that's

how he shows his love for me killing bugs killing insects that's my kink too but that's what's proving his point That's everybody's kink Nobody wants to kill the roach Everybody wants somebody else to kill the roach That wasn't my point Roaches were not a love language Just so everybody knows

But that's an act of service I should define act of service Means like helping with chores Doing the dishes, killing roaches It doesn't mean like to express my love you, I'm going to rebuild the roof in a school. Or join the Peace Corps. Right, right, right.

We should have known love languages are bogus. The only way you can really know if a relationship is going to work is astrology. Bill, how did Jodi do in our quiz? Jodi's love language is to win. Three in a row. Congratulations, Jody. Thank you. Bye-bye.

The Shitty. Okay, panel, it is now time for you to answer some more questions about this week's news. Faith, the Guinness Book of World Records has announced that after receiving a significant backlash, they have opened an investigation. Until it's complete, they have suspended the record for the world's oldest what? Oh, I saw this headline. I think it was the world's oldest pup, right? Yes, the world's oldest dog, yes. It turns out that the world record for oldest dog Yes, the world's oldest dog. Yes. It turns out

that the world record for oldest dog could be a hoax. Even more upsetting, the actual record for heaviest ball of dog hair is totally real. A Portuguese dog named Bobi was recently named the new record holder when he died at

the alleged age of 31, unseating the previous record holder, Bluey, an Australian dog who died at 29. And we will now take a brief pause for our listeners to comfort their toddlers for whom we just spoiled the series finale of Bluey. Wait, I thought we were going to pause to do the math. Dog year is seven or nine? What do you multiply by? Seven.

So that would be a 217-year-old dog? Yeah, that should be named Moses, right? Yeah, I'm calling baloney on boobies. You knew something was up when at the dog's funeral, they tried so hard to prove that it was all legit in the eulogies. Like, I remember in May 1992 when you were born, Criss Cross's Jump was your favorite song. Groove was in the heart.

Exactly. Coming up, save money now in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. The day's top headlines, local stories from your community, your next podcast binge listen. You can have it all in one place, your pocket. Download the NPR app today. you can have it all in one place, your pocket. Download the NPR app today.

Instead of scrolling mindlessly, engage mindfully with the NPR app. With a mix of on-demand news, stories from this station, and your favorite podcast, you can relax without shutting off your brain. Download the NPR app today. Hi, I'm Jen White from 1A, the home of good conversation. But what makes it great are the ideas and insights you bring to the show every day. It seems only fair that when you make room for us, we make room for you. Listen to the 1A podcast from WAMU and NPR. Do you want in on a secret? Like why your favorite pop star is so popular? Or why a makeup fad is suddenly sweeping your feed? It's that none of these things happen by accident. On the It's Been a Minute podcast, I don't just tell you what's trending, I dig deeper to find out why. Join me, Brittany Luce, on It's Been a Minute from NPR. Sure, for a good laugh, you could watch Jon Hamm in the new Mean Girls movie,

or you could pull up that old clip of a 20-something Jon Hamm competing in a dating show. Who's ever gonna see this? No one's gonna invent a thing where everything is saved. This will burn into the ether. Never to be seen again. That's from our latest bonus episode, where you can hear our 2018 interview with Jon Hamm. It's an extended cut, so it includes a lot of fun stuff we could not fit into the original broadcast. Listen now if you are a Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus supporter. And if you're not, you could be. You get bonus episodes like this one, and you get to help keep NPR going. To sign up, go to plus.npr.org

or visit our show page on Apple Podcasts. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Boudet, Faith Saley, and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff,

the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at Wait, Wait, NPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Lynette. Hey, Lynette. How you doing?

I'm a little cold, but I'm doing well. I'm glad. You know, we've been doing this for a long time. And to my memory, you're the first person to say hello as if we had called you. Because you said, hi, it's Lynette. And I'm like, oh, hi, Lynette. Yeah, hi, it's Peter. And I was just calling to see if you would like to play a game on my radio show, which is happening right now.

Would that be okay? I've got my corporate voice on, my corporate mindset on. Well, Lynette, we're so happy you answered the phone. You're going to play our game on which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is the topic? Downsize this. So businesses, as apparently you know well,

do all sorts of things to save money. Layoffs, pay cuts. One company even gave up avocado toast and now it can buy a house. This week we heard about a unique way that one company decided to tighten its belt. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Ready to play?

Yes. All right. First, let's hear from Helen Hong. Employees of a Colorado-based tech company who had previously been offered on-site child care started noticing that child care was seeming more like child labor when asking their children how their day went. We got to wash windows from the outside, standing on a huge swinging bench thing. But the biggest tip-off were the toddlers in floor mop outfits crawling around the shiny lobby.

After parents freaked out, the company fessed up. Our maintenance staff raised their prices recently, so we figured we'd create a new daycare slash maintenance synergy, explained CEO Grace Brown. And many of the kids actually like it, especially the five to nine-year-olds who got desk jobs. One kid said, I learned Excel to keep track of my Pokemon cards, so it was pretty easy to do it for regional expenses. A tech company combines their childcare expenses with maintenance expenses to save money. Your next story of professional penny-pinching

comes from Tom Beaudet. When Putney Paper of Portsmouth, UK was ordered by their private equity overlords to reduce costs or face closure, management was ordered by their private equity overlords to reduce costs or face closure, management was flummoxed. We'll leave it to 35-year veteran manufacturing manager Eddie Harvey to come up with the solution. Bloody hell, he said with a terrible British accent. We run a paper company with a paperless office? Well Putney Paper cancelled their off-site data and

software contracts and turned everything back into literal paperwork using their own excess product. Expenses declined, sales did not. Why? Well, the spooky auto voice system was replaced by Ursula Pilski, replete with a smoker's cough and boundary issues. Customers are reordering just to talk with Ursula, and when she says, if you want your invoice that bad, come get it, they do. Their equity overlords are taking note. Watch out, Mr. Zuckerberg, your elders would like to have a word with you. Zuckerberg, your elders would like to have a word with you. So a British paper company goes back to using paper and saves a lot of money. Finally, your last story of a closed-fisted corporation comes from Faith Saley.

A Chinese man named Chang has accused his ex-employers of forcing him and his colleagues to quit, thereby saving the company from paying any worker compensation. But perhaps the ad agency was just trying to create team-building experiences. Maybe that is why they moved operations out of the city to a remote mountaintop two hours away. Chang reports, my colleagues without vehicles had to rely on a bus that ran every three hours and then walk another three kilometers through mountainous paths to reach the office, which, if churlish Chang had a better attitude, is a great way to get your steps in. And those stray dogs that chase the employees daily or basically support animals, 70% of the workforce quit. And then, presto, four days later, the company reopened their city office and began hiring new folks. Folks who understand that you can't spell team without employee abuse.

So these then are the ways in which some company somewhere cut costs from Helen Hong, a tech company that combined their child care expenses to cover their maintenance expenses, from Tom Bodette, a paper company that realized that by using all the paper they had, they could save a lot of money, as well as giving jobs to crusty old people. And from Faith Saley, a Chinese company that decided that they'd just keep every employee

as long as they didn't mind trekking up to a mountaintop every day. Which of these was the real story of cost-cutting we found in the news? I'm going to go with Faith's story. You're going to go with Faith's story about the Chinese company that got all their employees to quit by moving to the top of a mountain. All right, well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone familiar with the real story. If an employer is putting a pack of stray dogs between you and your workplace,

they put you up in a mountain, I don't see how that's not an OSHA violation. That was Ryan Steiger, a.k.a. Attorney Ryan, a workers' rights lawyer, talking about the extreme relocation and apparently not realizing that OSHA doesn't apply in China. Congratulations, Lynette. You got it right. Your faith was telling you to do it. Thanks, Lynette You got it right Your faith was telling you to do it Thanks Lynette So you earn She Excuse me

So she earns a point And you win our prize Congratulations Thank you Thank you And Thanks for letting me call you You're welcome

Bye bye Thanks Lynette Bye You're welcome. Bye-bye. Thanks, Lynette. Bye. And now the game we call Not My Job. David Ayelowo is British, but he has provided Americans with two important services. First, he portrayed Martin Luther King powerfully in the movie Selma. Secondly, he allowed a whole bunch of snobs to say to their friends,

oh, you mean the actor from MI5, Great British Spy Show, like 24, but you know, smart. He is now starring in the new movie Roleplay. David Ayala, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, everyone. Thank you very much. I spent a part of the week reading over and watching some of the many things you've done. Just reading the list of things you've done made me tired. Am I right in assuming that maybe specifically here in America where you now live, most people recognize you for the role of Martin Luther King in Selma. Is that right?

Yes, yes, they do. It's very weird in the gym when you're just trying to get on with getting buff and people scream Dr. King at you. Yeah, that is, well, I'm pretty sure that happened to Dr. King himself. And I have to ask this, how surprised are people to find out you're British? Very surprised, which is both a compliment and at times feels like I'm under threat because people feel quite upset about it. I remember doing a number of Q&As after we did Selma at the screenings, and African-Americans particularly were like,

man, you're from Harlem. Come on, man. I have other questions, but I'm sort of stunned by how good that was. That was really good. I wanted to talk a little bit about your background, which is fascinating to me because I'm a theater guy. Is it true, the story we heard, that you first got into acting or stumbled into it because you wanted to impress a girl? It's very true. It's very true. Theater was not something that was on my radar at all. What was on my radar was my pastor's daughter, who used to work the overhead projector at my church. And I was so obsessed with her, I never listened to a

single sermon for an entire year. And one day she asked me to the theater. I thought it was a date. It was actually to join a youth theater group. And I was so enamored with her that I kept going, and that's what led to me becoming an actor. Whoa! Chasing the pastor's daughter? That's the name of his memoir. Don't make it

sound unholy. I wasn't trying to do anything nefarious. I just liked her. And that was like 30 years ago. You think she's impressed yet? Oh, she's full of regret. She sees me in movies and she's absolutely gutted.

Really? Only because I'm a bitter man. I hope that's true. Is it? It's absolutely true. Every time I'm in a movie, I get a very sad email from her. That's a love language, I think. I was going to say.

Do you remember, I mean, it's funny, I usually ask this question of athletes, but it just occurred to me I could ask it of you because of the story you just told. You stumbled into this, you hadn't wanted to do it, but there you were. Was there a moment when you first realized that you were quite good at it? Yes, yes. There was a moment. I mean, you know, the first thing I did was being part of that youth group where I had followed that girl too. And the reaction afterwards was was pretty eulogistic from from everyone else um the unfortunate thing is it was offset by my mother who could never quite draw the line between make believe in reality and would just say why were you kissing that girl that is not your wife that is not your girlfriend leave her alone and and and she actually did that during the performance.

No! No! I wish I was lying. She would stand up in the theater and go, no, you stop that. What was even worse is that she was whispering it. Put that down! Put that woman down! Wow.

That's when you said, I have to get into TV where they don't allow anybody in. Exactly. Imagine she shouted that at many screens. I want to get to the project that you're currently in. You're in many, but the one we're going to talk about is the film Roleplay, which is on Prime Video. To get there, I want to talk a little bit about some other roles. You played Martin Luther King.

You played a spy in Spooks, the TV show we know as MI5. You're also playing Bass Reeves, a gunman and a lawman in the Old West. So in role play, I have to ask you, what it was like for you to finally play a suburban schlub like me? You were my inspiration. Thank you.

You know, I wondered why you were following me around as i went through my daily routine so this is fun the movie's called role play as people will find out when they watch it which you should because the key plot element is this married couple decides to do some role play to spice up their relationship. Love language. Exactly. And your character, ironically also named David, turns out not to be very good at that. It's kind of clumsy. It's kind of funny and endearing. I've always wondered, how does a very good actor play a bad actor? Well, you tend to be around a lot of bad actors and you're just doing an impersonation. Really? Excuse me.

Oh, that guy I was in repertory with, he sucked. I'll just do him. Yeah, you now have several actors I've worked with second-guessing their careers right now. That is, in fact, the best revenge. Well, it is absolutely lovely to have you with us, David, and we have asked you here today to play a game that we're calling

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling. So your new movie, as we've discussed, is called Roleplay, so we thought we'd ask you about the other kind of roleplay, games you play by rolling things. Answer two out of three questions correctly, and you will win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is David Oyelowo playing for? Chris Creel of Morristown, New Jersey. All right.

Ready to do this? Very ready. All right. One of the most popular rolling games is, of course, bowling. One of professional bowling star athletes, Mike Machuga, is a two-time national champion. But he is perhaps most famous for his signature move as a bowler, which is what? A, the Machuga chop, where he throws the bowling ball overhand. B, the Machuga hop, a shot where his

ball goes into the gutter then bounces out to hit the pins, or C, the machuga flop where he rolls the ball but doesn't let go of it and slides halfway down the lane on his stomach. I'm going to say B. It was actually C, the Machuga flop. What? He does this, apparently, to entertain the crowds, because it turns out in bowling, if you don't let go of the ball, it's not a foul, even if you've crossed the line.

So he does this thing where he rolls it, doesn't let go, slides himself halfway down, gets a lot of applause, comes back and rolls. That's a thing he does. Okay. Very easily entertained foot. Yes. His girlfriend who we met was very proud. Anyway, here's your next question. There is a sport called zorbing, where you climb inside this giant inflatable hamster ball and roll around. But just rolling around, not exciting for some people,

which is why you can also do what? A, in San Francisco, you can zorb down the famously crooked and very steep Lombard Street. B, in Florida, you can race other zorbers through alligator-infested waters. Or C, in the Rocky Mountains, you can try bungee zorbing. Huh. I'm going to say C.

David, have you heard of an American phenomenon called Florida Man? I'm going to say B. Yeah, it is Florida. So, of course, they climb into these things and then run as fast as they can in them across the alligator swamp. All right, last question. In France, as you might know, they have a version of lawn bowling or bocce they call petanque. And almost every petanque court throughout France has a statue or a picture of a woman named Fanny nearby. Why?

A, per tradition, any team that gets shut out in a Pétanque match is required to get down on their knees and kiss Fanny's, well, Fanny. B, it is an image of Fanny Merlano, a 19th century wife from Lyon who invented the game to get her husband out of the house and stop annoying her. Or C, it's just a coincidence, there happens to be a lot of pictures and sculptures in France of women named Fanny, and some of them are near Pétanque courts.

I'm going to go with my friend who said A. Right, yes. That's correct. To be shut out in a Pétanque match is called être Fanny, or being Fanny, and you're required to kiss the Fanny, and I should say, by the way, that in France,

in French, Fanny means Fanny is the same it does in America, not what it means in Britain. Bill, how did David do in our quiz? In the final tally, I think David got all three. Sure he did. Absolutely he did. Well, David Oyelowo is starring in the new film Roleplay, currently streaming on Prime. David Oyelowo, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. What an absolute pleasure to talk to you. Take care, sir. Thank you.

Thank you. Bye-bye. In just a minute, how boiled cabbage may unite the galaxy in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From your car radio to your smart speaker, NPR meets you where you are in a lot of different ways. Now we're in your pocket. Download the NPR app today. The Planet Money Podcast is here to help. We love spreadsheets. Yeah, let us be your guide to the global economy. We brought snacks.

Is that trail mix? It's actually Gorp. That's Planet Money from NPR. Up First achieves the rare one-two punches of being short and thorough, national and international, fact-based and personable. Every morning, we take the three biggest stories of the day and explain why they matter. And we do it all in less than 15 minutes. So you can start your day a little more in the know

than when you went to sleep. Listen now to the Up First podcast from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Tom Bonette, Faith Seeley, and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill's love language is rhymes in our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call, 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Helen, farmers in the south of France are protesting new government policies they do not like, and to show their displeasure, did they, give you choices, A in the south of France are protesting new government policies they do not like.

And to show their displeasure, did they give you choices? A, dump tons of manure in the streets, or B, strap boom boxes to their tractors and blare baby shark all over town for hours? I wish it was B, but I'm going to go with the poop. Well, you're right, but it was in fact both. What? They did both. The farmers dumped huge piles of rotting fruit, hay, and manure all over the city of Toulouse. Then they needed the baby shark to add to it because in France, rotting fruit, hay,

and manure are all just notes of a really fine burgundy. Wow. You do not cross those French farmers. You do not. This opens up a new frontier in protesting because picket signs are great, but they don't get stuck in your head, right? I saw on TikTok the poop thing, but the baby shark

thing is downright evil. It really is. But it didn't really work because in France, baby shark do-do-do-do-do-do-do is a meaningful sentence. It's a love language. I believe that is, yeah. I believe it's a quote from Proust, actually.

Faith, I know you well enough to know you're already deep into planning your Super Bowl party, so you'll be delighted to know that for just $1,500, you can delight your guests with a what? Fresh, hot to know that for just $1,500, you can delight your guests with a what? Fresh hot wings delivered by a Hooters waitress. No, but it is the person that comes to your party that is key here. Oh. Yes. Is it a specific human being or a type of person? It is a specific human being pretending to be a specific human being. Okay. so it is an impersonator of someone.

Yes. Is that someone a football player? It is. Is it a famous football player? It must be. He is the most famous football player. Oh, because he is actually Taylor Swift's boyfriend. And his name is...

It doesn't matter. I think at this point... His name is Mr. Taylor Swift, nay, Travis Kelsey. Yes, exactly right. It doesn't matter, I think, was the correct answer. Yes. If your Super Bowl party is lacking a six-foot-six man who vaguely looks like someone your favorite singer

is currently kissing, fear not. Thanks to a sportsbook company, you can now order a Travis Kelsey impersonator to come take pictures and hang out with your guests. Why would you want him when you can get a Taylor Swift impersonator? Why would you want a Taylor Swift impersonator? He's too

iconic. You can't impersonate her. You gotta go for the B team. I think if your party had lots of Taylor Swift fans, a Taylor Swift impersonator would anger them. Yeah. Okay. Fine. False god. False god, they would cry. Bet US is the company.

They say their licensed impersonators, presumably Mr. Kelsey's getting a piece of this, will thrill your guests with some classic Kelsey catchphrases. That's a promise. Catchphrases like, hi, I'm Travis Kelsey. I play football.

And they promise by the way, this is true, the company promises that he'll come and then he will stay to quote dance the night away. Which you know really means if you read the fight print, it'll cost you another $1,500 to get him to leave. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in beautiful and balmy downtown Chicago. Or you can come see us on the road. We will be in Milwaukee just a few weeks, February 1st, and in Austin, Texas on February 29th

for tickets and information on all of our shows. Just go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Kate Kitson from Perrysburg, Ohio. Perrysburg, Ohio. Okay, now where is that exactly? Just south of Toledo. Just south of Toledo.

Okay, in western Ohio. What do you do for fun, let's say? What do I do for fun? I chase my two- and four-year-old around and do all sorts of things that a millennial mom does. All right. Are you going to have a Travis Kelsey impersonator at your Super Bowl party? I mean, it kind of sounded fun, right? There you are. Okay. We've discovered the demographic for this. Well, welcome to the show, Kate. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related

limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Here is your first limerick. Can't hear screams out in space. That's the adage. But bring nose plugs as part of your baggage. Because the odors are rife where you find signs of life.

We found planets that smell like cooked cabbage. Cabbage, yes! While observing a distant exoplanet, the James Webb Space Telescope picked up traces of dimethyl sulfide, a chemical that smells like boiled

cabbage and is only produced by life. But if that's what life smells like, can and is only produced by life. But if that's what life smells like, can you imagine the stink that our planet gives off? No wonder the only images we have of UFOs are all blurry. They cannot get away fast enough. And while this boiled cabbage smell is not definitive evidence of life, it is certainly a big clue that not only aliens might exist But also that they're bad cooks

We throw some corned beef in there. No. No, we need to send a humanitarian interstellar expedition with instructions on how to braise Well, I like boiled cabbage, so that's Tom volunteers for the next expedition. And they won't smell your farts. Wait a minute. Such an upside. I'll go with you. Here is

your next limerick. Since I want to be healthy and hearty, I won't diet and sleep like you, Smarty. I'll be staying up late, having date after date. It is healthy to go out and... Party? Yes, party. Very good. That's right. A new study in China has found that dancing all night could be part of a very healthy and effective weight loss routine. So go out, get your molly down that bottle of whipped cream flavored vodka and wait for the health benefits to roll in. Okay, the study didn't actually advise those things, but how else are

you going to tolerate spending all night in a club? It turns out, by the way, in case you're wondering, modern dances are much better for you health-wise than traditional ballroom dances, you know, like waltzing or whatever. It's great when you clear the floor to breakdance and get to say, doctor's orders. I mean, have you tried twerking? You burn a lot of calories. Twerking. Twerking.

Twerking. I'm asking both of you. I've got myself. No, Bill. You. I was looking at you. No, I know. I will pay the both of you to come to my Super Bowl party and twerk.

I'm going to Venmo you, Helen. Yeah. I want in. Yeah. That's my love language. They're going to get back. Bill Curtis, everyone. They're going to get back spasms.

Yeah, all right. It's true. All right. Here is your last limerick. As a wedding guest, wear some nice clothes. Buy the gifts that the bride and groom chose. If you bring a plus one, just relax and have fun. Don't get down on one knee and...

Propose. Exactly right. A new CNN article on etiquette at weddings says the number one rule, no matter how much you are moved by the romance of the day, do not propose at somebody else's wedding, especially not to the bride. The reason, of course,

you don't want to make somebody else's big day all about you. And if you have to propose, do it quietly and do not follow it up with, and we can get married right now to save on venue and catering costs. Who does this? It's so obnoxious.

It's like wearing white to the wedding. It's absolutely, yeah. Well, you know, you thought that was bad. The rule is, and you can imagine, it basically says avoid making any big news that might put the focus on you instead of the couple, like announcing you're pregnant or revealing you got second place in the Iowa caucuses.

Or he proposed to me first. I said no that doesn't go well or yay it's not chlamydia wait is that just was that just me sorry Bill how did Kate do in our quiz

Kate came to play and got them all right congratulations Kate thank you so much for playing take care thank you did Kate do in our quiz? Kate came to play and got them all right. Congratulations, Kate. Thank you so much for playing. Take care. Thank you. Bye-bye. NPR brings you the updates you need on the day's biggest headlines. The Senate narrowly passed the debt ceiling bill that will prevent the country from defaulting on its loans. Stories from across the world. Knowing how to forage and to live with the land is integral to a nice culture. And down your block.

From CPR News, this is Colorado Matters. And you can find all of that and more in your pocket. Download the NPR app today. What does it mean that Trump's mugshot recalls Paris Hilton's? What does the fake resume of George Santos tell us about American myths? What if I told you that the Kardashians are the new Kennedys? On It's Been a Minute, I give you fresh ways of thinking about what's going on. Listen every week to It's Been a Minute from NPR.

Now, it is on to our final game. Lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players left 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? I can. Helen and Faith each have three. Tom has two. All right. Helen and Faith are tied for first. So, Tom, you're in second place, so you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

On Tuesday, the U.S. carried out more strikes against Houthi targets in blank. Yemen. Yes. On Thursday, NASA's Peregrine Lander burned up in Earth's atmosphere after failing to make it to the blank. Ooh, the moon. Yeah. This week, House Speaker Mike Johnson said the GOP would continue withholding defense funding for blank. Ukraine. Right. On Wednesday, it was announced that two members of Britain's blank would undergo various medical procedures.

The House of Commons. No, Britain's royal family. This week, a maternity ward at a Canadian hospital is suffering a worker shortage after most of the nurses there blanked at the same time. Um, gave birth. Oh, got pregnant, yes. For the first time in 32 years, the blanks won an NFL playoff game. Oh, shoot. I knew I should have been watching football last weekend. Um, Pittsburgh. No, the Detroit Lions. With six wins each, the bear in succession with the big winners at the 75th blank awards. Oh, the Emmys. Yes, in order to support people giving up alcohol for dry January, Miller Lite announced they were releasing blank.

Their beer. With the slogan, if this doesn't put you up alcohol, you've got a problem. So the actual answer is beer-flavored breath mints. According to their press release, the company created beer mints for people who want to take part in Dry January, but love the taste of beer too much to miss out for that

full month, you know, and whose partners don't want to miss out on knowing they're being lied to about having to stay late at work. Of all the things that I might miss about drinking, the way my mouth tasted was not. Yeah. One of them.

Bill, how did Tom do in our quiz? Healthy. Five right, ten more points. Total of 12. And he's leading. All right. So, Helen, why don't you go next? Here we go.

Fill in the blank. During his defamation trial on Wednesday, a judge threatened to remove blank from the courtroom. Trump. Yes. This week, the Supreme Court heard a case aimed at limiting federal agencies' blank powers. Governing powers? In a way, I'll give it to you. Regulatory powers, yeah.

On Tuesday, a judge blocked Spirit Airlines' proposed merger with blank. Um, Alaska? No, JetBlue. This weekend, a couple in Nebraska had to postpone their winter-themed wedding ceremony because of blank. Um, frostbite? Yes, extreme winter weather. For the second time in a month, a volcano in blank erupted. Um, oh, in Japan.

No, in Iceland. This week, an ambulance heading to a hospital in India hit a pothole and the patient they were transporting blanked. Came back to life. Yes, he did. The ambulance drivers were shocked when they hit a giant bump in the road and the 80-year-old corpse they thought they were transporting suddenly came back to life. It got even weirder when the driver said, man, did you see the size of that pothole? And heard a voice from outside scream, that's Dr. Pothole to you. He is recovering in the hospital.

Bill, how did Helen do in our quiz? Four right, eight more points. Total of 11 is so close. You're one short. All right. So how many then does Faith need to overtake Tom and win the game? Five to win. Here we go.

Faith, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, Defense Secretary blank was released from the hospital. Oh, young. I can't remember his name. No, it's Lloyd Austin. On Thursday, the House passed a bill to fund the government until early March, avoiding a blank.

Government shutdown. Right. Under a deal mediated by France and Qatar, a shipment of medicine and other supplies reached blank this week. Gaza. Right. Government shutdown. Gaza. Iran. The free bullets? No, the free Tide Pods. On Monday, Microsoft surpassed Blank as the world's most valuable publicly traded company.

Apple? Yes. This week, department store chain Blank announced plans to cut over 2,000 jobs. Macy's. Yes. This week, a lawmaker in Kentucky accidentally put forward a bill, he says, that would make Blank legal in that state. Incest. Exactly.

Specifically with your first cousin. In what is either a legitimate mistake or the world's most embarrassing Freudian slip, the congressman said that while drafting the bill, he accidentally deleted a line making it seem like he wanted to make dating your cousin legal. He plans to refile the bill, which he says will state definitively

that dating your cousin is absolutely illegal no matter how hot they are. Bill, how did Faith do? Did she do well enough to win? Yes! Six right, 12 more points. 15 gives her the win. That's a shocker.

I think we all know I don't care about winning or losing. You don't, absolutely. As long as you win. You're very zen. In just a minute, we're going to ask our parents to predict, now that love languages have been debunked, what will be the next big theory about relationship success. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godekar, Wrightsdale Limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald, to whom we wish the happiest of birthdays. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre.

BJ Lederman, composer. Our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grunboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is right behind you. Our vibe curator is Emma Choi. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Emma Choi. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what would be the next big relationship theory? Helen Hong. Tantric podcasting. If you can stare deep into your partner's eyes

while listening to one full episode of their favorite podcast. Your relationship is solid, unless it's, wait, wait, don't tell me, that's just creepy. Tom Bodette. If couples would listen to each other more and talk less, they will eventually be able to stop talking to each other altogether. And Faith Saley. General Electric is releasing a white paper study that demonstrates a tight

correlation between how compatibly people stack dishwashers and how long their relationship will last called stackin' attraction. Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're gonna ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Helen Hong,

Tom Bodette, Faith Saley. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theatre from the orchestra to the balcony. Thanks to everyone at home for listening. I'm Peter Segal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR Network. On It's Been a Minute, we talk to up-and-comers and icons of culture. From Barbara Streisand.

You're such a wonderful interviewer. To Tracy Ellis Ross. Your questions were so wonderful. And Christine Baranski. Oh, thank you for your wonderful questions. Here are the questions these icons loved to be asked. Listen every week to It's Been a Minute from NPR.