Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Hail to the Chief Editon

Episode Date: February 24, 2024

To celebrate Presidents' Day, we're revisiting interviews that would EASILY win the popular vote, including Ray Romano, Rosie Perez, Steve Earle, and more!Get access to bonus episodes, sponsor-free listening, and the chance to participate in a quiz with Peter Sagal when you sign up for Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!+ at plus.npr.org/waitwait.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

It can be hard nowadays to find a space where we're able to listen to each other, where we can agree to disagree. It's why I'm proud of 1A, a show that's made for you and by you. We're not about snark, we're about dialogue. Join the discussion and me, your host, Jen White, by listening to the 1A podcast from WAMU and NPR. and NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the man with a voice so smooth, rich people pay big bucks just to hear me say their name on NPR.

Chioki Anson. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki. Thank you, everybody. You're so kind. So, since we are lucky enough to have the guy who tells you about all the people and foundations that support NPR, filling in for Bill Curtis this week, we thought, why not take the opportunity to show those people why we are worth their support? So this week, we are going to bring back some of the best segments that their money has paid for in recent months as a kind of thank you. Wait, I thought you just wanted to take the week off. Shh.

First up, a great conversation with Ray Romano, the actor and comedian who had just written and directed his first film, Somewhere in Queens. When he appeared in May of last year, Peter asked him if he was the same kind of dad in real life as he was on his hit sitcom, Everybody Loves Raymond. Well, I was never home to be a real dad. I mean, in that way, it did affect me. Yeah, but I was wondering if you were home with your real kids, and they said something that wasn't amazingly charming and funny, if you would, like, call for rewrite without realizing where you were. Well, you know, what's funny is my wife and I, one night,

were in bed watching the show, and she said to me, she goes, you said more to Patty Heaton in that scene than you've said to me all week. And yeah, and I told her, we have writers. It's easy. It's funny because anytime we would have a fight, sometimes my wife would look to me and say, I don't want to see this on the show. I do not want to see it. And what did you think when she said that? Were you like, okay, or were you like, and say, I don't want to see this on the show. I do not want to see this on the show. And what did you think when she said that? Were you like, okay, or were you like,

well, maybe I can talk her into it, or maybe she... I would tell her to go cry on a bag of money. I should point out, by the way, I think everybody needs to know this. You're still happily married to the same person today, years later. 35. 35 years. Wow. That's tight. That's an achievement.

But seriously, you've played a dad and a husband for so long in so many different iterations. Have you learned some wisdom? Obviously, you're good at it. Well, I mean, you know, people ask me, how do you do it? How do you stay married so long? And I always quote one of my ex-therapists. I've been through many therapists. And one of my ex-one says, you need to pretend you're not a narcissist. Wow.

And of course, did you say, I can pretend I'm not a narcissist. I can do that. I'm great. That's right. I'm good at pretending. Yeah, but you know, it's exactly what he meant. And I think we know what he meant. Sometimes it's not all about you, you know?

Is that when you fired him? No, no, no. Your show is on TV all the time now, in syndication. Do you ever find yourself, like the rest of us, in a hotel room late at night, and Everybody Loves Raymond is on, and you watch it? It's sadder than that, to be honest with you. I don't know if it's a late midlife or early end of life crisis, but I'm, I'm watching them now and I'm, I'm rating them from one to,

I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I have a chart. I have a chart. What? You have a spreadsheet? I do. I've watched about 45 of them. There's 210 total. Wow. And I started rating them, and the highest so far I got was a 91. A 91 is the highest. Wow. How do you watch all your old shows and still say you're not a narcissist?

I'll tell you why. Because the highest I gave was a 91 I'm very hard on you what's the lowest so far? they're in the 70s some of them are in the 70s I learned something and I should have known this about you and I'm sorry I didn't but apparently you are an excellent poker player

I'm average he's good the last time I was with Ray he came on my radio show and he had this bag next to him and I was like what's in the bag and he said I just came from poker and there's a lot of cash in there

what? you literally had bags of money? You literally, like, had the classic black valise filled with cash? Yeah. He walks around with bags of cash. For your wife. I don't have access to my cash. I have...

My wife gives me an allowance. Do you have a good poker face? Because you don't seem like you would. Why do you say that? Why do you say I wouldn't have one? Because you're just so like... Because I'm a bad actor? No, that's not what that is.

Yeah, expressive. Expressive actor. Thank you. He gets a bad hand and just... Oh, boy. That was Tom Papa, not me. Oh, boy. Ray Romano, we've invited you here to play

a game that this time we're calling Everybody Loves Raymond, but Everybody Hates These Things. As we've discussed, you started in Everybody Loves Raymond, which is nice if you're Raymond. We thought we'd ask you about things that everybody hates. Answer two to three questions about things everybody just loathes,

and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose. Bill, who is Ray Romano playing for? Gary Wilson of Seattle, Washington. All right. You ready to do this? I'm going to try my hardest. All right. Here's your first question. Everybody hates taxes, right? Especially when you're forced to pay taxes when you buy something you want. Which of these is a real tax?

A, the Texas enormous belt buckle tax. B, the Canadian mayonnaise with french fries tax. Or C, the Illinois bribe tax. or C the Illinois bribe tax? Hometown crowd, thank you. The least ridiculous I guess is C. Of those three, the least ridiculous is that when you bribe a politician here in Illinois, you have to pay a certain percentage of the bribe to the state. I get it. I got it right, right? No, but I love you for trying. It was actually the enormous belt buckle tax in Texas. It's true. In Texas, the belt buckles are taxed at a higher rate than the belt itself.

Really? Yeah. So the bigger, more elaborate and more expensive your belt buckle, which they love down there, the more money you have to spend. All right, Ray, you still have two more chances. Here is your next question. Everybody hates traffic jams, particularly over in China. That's why a new service has arisen there to make them a little less horrible. What is that service? A, you can order aerial photographs of the traffic jam sent to you so you can prove to your boss or whomever that's why you're late. jam sent to you so you can prove to your boss or whomever that's why you're late, B, alcohol delivered to your stuck car by drone, or C, a service in which two people show up on a motorbike, one stays with your car and the other weaves through traffic with you and the bike to get you to your destination. That one, the last one. You're right, Ray. Exactly. Because as you probably figured out, that is a great idea.

And this is why China is beating us in global competition. You have one more question. If you get this right, you win. Everybody hates going through airport security. Which of these were once seized at a TSA checkpoint? A, a 20-pound live lobster, B, one of those enormous pairs of ceremonial scissors for ribbon cuttings, or C, a gun hidden inside a raw chicken? Well, I have cut a ribbon at a Bed Bath & Beyond once. And never again. Yeah, a lot of good it did then, bath, and beyond. And never again. Yeah, a lot of good it did then, man.

Never again. All right. I'm going to say the gun hidden in the thing. You're right. Not only that, they were all found on passengers. All of the above. Bill, how did Ray Romano

do in our quiz? He got a 75 by our rating. But two out of three is a winner, Ray. Congratulations. 66 percent. Ray Romano's new wonderful movie is Somewhere in Queens. Ray Romano, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

What a pleasure to talk to you. Thanks, Ray. Thank you. And if that wasn't enough to loosen your wallet, rich people, here's a never-before-heard question from earlier this year with panelists Tom Bodette, Faith Saley, and Helen Ha. Helen, businesses have a new solution for all those workers who've forgotten how to be in the office during their long time at home.

Many businesses are sending their employees where? Can I have a hint? Yeah, it's like where you learn which is the proper fork to leave unwashed in the office kitchen sink. Etiquette class? Charm school. Oh, what? Same thing, yes. Etiquette school, charm school.

Apparently people forgot how to behave around other people during their time working remotely. other people during their time working remotely. So 60% of companies plan to send their employees to etiquette classes this year, leaving 100% of employees trying to imagine anything more humiliating. Wait, so the memo saying put your pants back on and keep them on all day didn't work? Exactly. It didn't work. Employers have to say, Matt, great work on that report this morning. Also, we notice you've gone feral.

60%. 60% of businesses have to retrain their employees to be around other people. What are we talking about? Because the pants thing is the obvious one. If you didn't buy the Orangina, don't drink it.

I thought it was Orangina, but now I'm having improper thoughts. It's a little uncouth, Tom. Tom, I think you need to go to charm school after that. My goodness,

we're in public. This is terrible. I may not be able to finish the show because I'm going back through my life now thinking, how many times

have I said that? When we come back, actor Rosie Perez and musician Steve Earle, who will triumph and who will be left begging for mercy? Neither one. This isn't Survivor. Come on. It's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. This message comes from NPR sponsor PolicyGenius.

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Hey, everybody, it's Peter Sagal. This is our last episode in February, meaning it is the last chance I have to get you to sign up for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus in our month-long pledge drive. Don't make me beg. Okay, I'm begging. But we really want to get 401 new supporters this month, and you are our only hope. We've even made some super special bonus episodes that will be available only to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus subscribers next month, where I take everyone on an emotional journey,

such as you've never heard from me. A deep dish pizza hurt me, Emma. To get access to that and our other fun bonus episodes every month where some of you even get the chance to play a throwback news quiz with me, you gotta sign up for Wait Wait Don't Tell Me Plus.

Head over to plus.npr.org slash waitwait and join in on the fun. Don't be like deep dish pizza. That is don't be bad. And a big thank you to everyone who has signed up. From NPR and WBZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Chioki Ianson, filling in for Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki. Thank you, everybody. This week, we are taking the opportunity to show our sponsors what they're paying for when Chioki reads their names on NPR. For example, I bet the Foundation for the Advancement of Former Fly Girls was thrilled they helped pay for this February 2023 conversation between Rosie Perez and guest host Alzo Slade. Rosie explained how her entire career began because of some fashion choices she made while going out clubbing in college. Yeah, I was in, I was a biochem major in college, and me and my girlfriends would go to

this nightclub called Florentine Gardens because it was ladies getting free before nine, and then there was a talent scout from Soul Train, and he saw me dancing. And I was dressed like a slut. It was such a cute look. And he said, would you like to go on Soul Train? I said, what? And I got on the show. And then later on, when I was going to leave California and move back to New York,

the night before I was leaving, they asked some of the Soul Train dancers if they would go to this party that a filmmaker was having. And when I walked in there, they were having a butt contest to see which woman had the biggest butt. So I jumped up on the stage on a speaker. I'm not making this up. I wish I was. Oh, my God. And I was trying to humiliate the whole evening

telling the women don't do that and then the guy came over with bodyguards and told me to get down and I got scared and um so I cursed him out out of fear I don't know why but it just happened and that man happened to be Spike Lee. And then he asked me, I mean, this story is so NPR, by the way. So speaking of Spike Lee, Do the Right Thing was your first movie. And that movie is a cultural icon. You're a cultural icon. Did your family go to see the movie on the big screen? icon. Did your family go to see the movie on the big screen? Unfortunately, yes. I thought it's never going to get to Puerto Rico. And it did. My father held the screening for the entire town and the scene with the ice cubes. Yeah, My father had a heart attack.

He didn't die. But he had a very dramatic telenovela, Puerto Rican heart attack in the movie theater. The ambulance had to come take him away. I had to fly down to Puerto Rico, crying, telling him I'm sorry. And he said, listen, next time you do something like this,

let's talk about it. I said, really, that simple? He goes, yes, just say you're doing something artistic. And then I'm going to have to go. So for those of you who don't know, let me as delicately as possible explain the artistic scene with the ice cube that she's talking about. This is so not NPR. This is so not NPR.

So it was a hot scene and the ice melts go bing it when you get a chance well you know you know dancing has been a large part of your career as well like choreographing for and living color. Like, do you still, you know, shake a little something every once in a while? I do in the privacy of my own home. I don't really go clubbing anymore. I still dance in my head all the time. If I'm in the car, if I'm if I'm watching a show and they have a piece of music, All of a sudden, I'm choreographing in my head. It's constant. It doesn't stop.

Yeah. What is your favorite song to dance to? Rihanna's Bitch Better Have My Money. Oh. Oh. Okay. All right, Rosie, we've asked you here today to play a game that we are calling...

Signed Curious in Chicago. So you start and do the right thing. And who else helps people do the right thing? Advice columnists. Oh, no. We're going to ask you three questions about advice columnists, answer two of them correctly, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners.

Bill, who is Rosie playing for prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Rosie playing for? Lucy Wright of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Big Lucy Wright fans in this audience. Yes. Here's their first question. In the 1950s, Ebony Magazine ran a column called Advice for Living, which was filled with questions about sex and relationships, all answered by whom? A, Little Richard, B, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., or C, then Vice President Richard Nixon? Oh, my gosh.

God rest his soul. I want to say Little Richard. I know that sounds crazy, but I want to say Little Richard. That would be hilarious. But you want to say it, but you didn't say it, but I'm sure you have a dream of saying something else.

Oh, the king. The king. Yes. Are you kidding me? I am not kidding. So here's your next question, the follow-up. Dr. King was not great at giving advice. I have a dream.

You take it as you want. great at giving advice. I have a dream. You take it as you want. When one woman wrote in because her husband was having an affair, he advised her to do what? A, put laxatives in her husband's coffee. B,

take up a new hobby like gardening to get her mind off of it. Or C, study her husband's mistress and copy the things that she does. It's probably the wrong answer, but I'm going to go with C. It is absolutely the right wrong answer. Yes. Wow. Oh my gosh.

Wrong answer, yes. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. told her to just figure out what this other woman was giving her husband that she wasn't and do that. Wow. Wow. Here's your last question. The advice column dates back to the 1690s when readers would write in to ask questions like, which of these? A, why should the

putting of a man's hand in cold water occasion a sudden emission of urine, notwithstanding his being fast asleep? B, dancing, is it lawful? And C, what is the cause of the winds? And whence do they come? And whither do they go? Oh, gosh. You know, I listen to this show every single weekend. And I'm always calling out the right answer. But now that I'm in the thick of it, I have no

freaking idea. These are ridiculous. They are pretty ridiculous. Can I get a hint? Yes. More than one of them is correct. All the above? All the above.

Wow. Oh, all the above? All the above. Wow. Wow. So, these were all actual questions to the Athenian Mercury, considered the first ever advice column. Bill, how did Rosie Perez do on our quiz? As we expected, she was perfect!

See? Rosie, you're amazing at everything you do. Thank you very much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you very much, guys. Thank you, audience. Take care, everybody. Thank you. In 2019, musician Steve Earle joined us in person and backstage told the greatest stories we had ever heard. Fortunately, he kept going when we got on stage

where I asked him exactly what genre of music he played. I've been called country singer, country rock singer, and folk singer in the New York Times crossword puzzle. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, you have one of those great names with a vowel at the beginning and end. You're all set. My dad, I'm in there a lot.

My dad thought I'd finally made it when I made it to the New York Times crossword puzzle. Yeah, congratulations. You got your start really early. You knew what you wanted to do from a very young age, right? Yeah, I didn't finish school because I regret that now, but I just didn't see how they were going to teach me anything more about what I wanted to do.

My parents were incredibly supportive, but I finally dropped out when I was 16, and I started playing coffee houses, and I met all these guys that had been playing folk music for a lot longer than I had, and that's where I first heard of Townes Van Zandt and Guy Clark. And my new record is a record of songs written by Guy Clark because I made a record of Townes songs 10 years ago,

and I do not want to run into Guy on the other side having made the Townes record. Yeah, I understand. He wouldn't like that. We read that you were such a fan of Townes Van Zandt that you actually went to where he was and tracked him down. I did that. I did the same thing with Guy. I tracked Townes down in Houston.

And he turns up at my gig. There's about four people there, including Townes. And the second set, when I go down for my set, the first set, the most eventful thing was the club owner's dog fell in love right in front of the set. And then the second set, I finally come down and here's Town sitting in the front row. He's pretty, he drank a little. He was pretty lit and he was sitting there and he did not

make a sound while I was actually singing. But between every song, he'd lean back and go, play the Wabash Cannonball. And I'm like, so I play another song. Great, I'm being heckled by my heroes. So I get, I trudge along

and I get to the, play the Wabash Cannonball. I finally had to admit I don't know the Wabash Cannonball. And then he said, you call yourself a folk singer

and you don't know the Wabash Cannonball? And I'm like, so I played this song called Mr. Mud and Mr. Gold, a song of his that has about a million words, and then he shut up.

Yeah, well. And then we introduced ourselves afterwards, and he became a teacher for some time. That's really amazing. You've been through a lot. I mean, read a little bit about you. You find out, I mean, like, for example, you played a recovering addict in The Wire. I did. find out i mean like for example uh you played a recovering addict in the wire i did and and apparently it was it was not a stretch for you isn't it yeah david simon's idea for me to become i was offered acting roles when i was a lot younger and a lot better looking than i am now

and i hated it when actors made records so i just always turned them down and didn't think it was something i wanted to do but david's a big music fan and he called my manager. He says, I've got this character and I think Steve could do it. And would he like to read for it? I read for it on, you know, just on the,

made a tape in a, in a studio. And you know, it was, I played a redneck recovering addict. So like you said, I didn't have to really act. So yeah,

um, we were reading this, you live in New York. And the most amazing thing we read is that your enthusiasms in New York are yoga and Broadway musicals. That's pretty much it. And baseball. And baseball.

Baseball. Yoga was just a thing that was sort of, I fish with a fly rod, and I travel places where that's fun to do, and I fell in a river for the first time, you know, and I was just getting back in the bug, floating down to the next spot and talking to a friend of mine. And I just said, man, my core strength is just going. And he said, well, you know, I've been taking yoga

a couple of times a week. A guy comes and I thought, I spend money on dumber stuff than that. So it started as that, as dealing with a physical issue. But the way I'm still here is 12-step programs. And, you know, that's, it's a spiritual program. And one of the things you're supposed to do in 12-step programs is get to a place where you pray or meditate every day. And that was the only thing that I didn't do. And I'm kind of an old hippie anyway. And so I've known about these things all my life. But through that association, I met a yoga teacher in New York and started studying with

her. I'm on blocks and, you know, a lot of cheating going on. Yeah, I understand that. You've been married six to seven times, six times, seven times, six times? Seven times, six wives. Right. Now, when people talk about people who've been married a lot, we often joke about hope over experience, and they just think this time it's going to work out, and we talk about people's optimism.

What I was thinking about in your case is, if you meet a woman and the woman knows you've been married, say, let's pick middle, five times before, how do you convince her? Like, no, really, it was always their fault. Well, wait a minute. No, no. Here's the real question is if you've been married six times and you meet a woman that's willing to marry you, that's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. What, what, you know, it's a, yeah, that should give you a pause And I'm finally starting to get it. Okay, so let me ask a question. Elizabeth Taylor was married so many times because she liked being married.

Do you like being married? I played 200 shows last year. So whoever was married to me probably didn't like it all that much because I was gone about half the time and I didn't really know what really being married was like the way that most people did because I got my own room for over half of my life.

Steve, have you met Roxanne? I did meet Roxanne. Well, Steve Earle, we've invited you here to play a game we're calling... Steve Earle meet Steve Urkel. As I'm sure you remember, you've been around. Yeah. Uber nerd Steve Urkel, one of the most popular TV characters of the 1990s in the show Family Matters.

I'm guessing you didn't have a lot of time to watch TV in the 1990s. You know what? I don't think I've ever seen a complete episode of Family Matters. That's great because that's the whole principle. You're not supposed to know anything. Knowledge hurts. I was hoping you guys would mess this part up. Yeah.

We're going to ask you three questions about that icon in the flood pants and suspenders. If you get two right, you win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice in their answering machine. Bill, who is Steve Earle playing for? Brian Hines of Pleasant View, Tennessee. All right. Wow. You ready? Cool.

Here's your first question. Now, the popularity of the character of Steve Urkel was great for the actor and the TV show, but bad for whom? A, the actual Steve Urkel, for whom the character was named, who spent a decade enduring jokes and disappointment that he didn't talk funny.

B, the belt industry, as Urkel's suspenders caused a 40% decrease in sales. Or C, speech therapists who had to deal with people trying to talk like Urkel. Oh, well, let's say B. You're going to go for B, the belt industry?

People stopped buying belts because the suspenders were so sexy? Yeah. No, it was actually the real Steve Urkel. The real Steve Urkel. The character was named Steve Urkel who the character was named for and he did not enjoy it after a very short while. Two more chances.

Here's your next question. Urkel's popularity led to a number of branded products including which of these? A. Steve Urkel nerd glasses with masking tape pre-applied.

B. Urkel O's breakfast cereal. Or C. An automated chess player called the mechanical Urk. Breakfast cereal, I guess. It is's breakfast cereal or see an automated chess player called the Mechanical Urk. Breakfast cereal, I guess. It is the breakfast cereal. Yay!

Last one for all the marbles. Jaleel White, the actor who played Urkel, went on to have the usual struggles of an actor associated with one role. He tried appearing on Dancing with the Stars, but what happened? A, asked to dance in flood-high pants and suspenders,

he swore and stomped off the set. B, he was so obnoxious to other participants that he became known as Jerkle. Or C, he insisted on doing his own

choreography for the Jitterbug section and broke a hip. Oh. Let's see. B. B. It is B!

He, by the way, he denied the rumors that he was unpopular and said he got along great with everybody. He was still voted off the show, though. Bill, how did Steve Earle do? What a smart guy. He got two out of three, so you won! Congratulations, Steve! Steve Earle's new album is called Guy.

It's out now wherever you listen to music. Steve Earle, thank you so much for joining us here at Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Steve Earle, everybody. When we come back, the comedian and writer who created Big Mouth and an editor with a big megaphone. That's when we come back with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Every weekday, NPR's best political reporters come to you on the NPR Politics Podcast to explain the big news coming out of Washington, the campaign trail and beyond. They don't just tell you what

happened. They tell you why it matters. Join the NPR Politics Podcast every afternoon to understand the world through political eyes. Want all of NPR without relying on your radio? Visit NPR.org to be connected to your local station wherever you are and wherever the news takes you. Get your vital mix of rigorously reported local and national stories all live, free, and at your fingertips at NPR.org. The world is changing every hour, and catching up once or twice a day might not be enough. For quick updates throughout your day, there's the NPR News Now podcast. Every hour, on the hour, we bring you up to speed on the latest news from

around the world in five minutes. Listen now to the NPR News Now podcast from NPR. From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Shioki Ianson filling in for Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you so much, Chioki. Thank you, everybody. So, this is our special You Got What You Paid For edition, in which all the funders whose names Chioki reads on the air every day find out what it is they are, in fact, paying for.

And Chioki, since we got you here, people must pay a lot to hear their name read in your velvety voice. Am I right? Well, Peter Sagal, it's a lot more than the $5 that you, Peter Sagal, slid me before the show, Peter Sagal. That wasn't, it wasn't $5 each though, just so you know that. Okay. That wasn't, it wasn't $5 each though, just so you know that, okay. And if just hearing Chioki isn't enough, here's a comedian and writer Nick Kroll, who joined us in March of 2023. Guest host Nagin Farsad asked him if being a history major helped

when he made the sequel to Mel Brooks' History of the World Part One. Um, no, uh. I was not. But I do love history. A lot of my work has had historical elements to it. But I think it was really more of a passion for Mel Brooks than history that got me the gig, I think.

Were you intimidated? Like, were you afraid about making him laugh and what was going to land with him? Oh, yeah. I mean, pitching a joke to your hero is, when you get a laugh from Mel Brooks, it's the best feeling in the world. But when he tells you, no, that joke is stupid, it's a real roller coaster. No, and explain this to me.

So, History of the World Part 1 came out in 1981, over 40 years ago. Is this the longest anyone's ever waited for a sequel, or what? It's possible. I'm currently working on Gone with the Wind 2. The time is right. The time feels right. Especially from a white dude, I think it's such the right call. I think it's a good chance for me to tell my story,

and I'm so excited about that. A Jewish boy from Rye's take on the Civil War. So you're known for your characters, and you do so many of the great characters on History of the World Part II. What are some of the characters that have been thought of but haven't made it onto your work? Well, I mean, I build my characters from the name up. That's the most important way.

Some people want to be like, oh, this is where this person is from, this is what their family is like. And I built a character in history of the world who's a Russian Jew in the sort of a fiddler on the roof parody and his name is Schmuck Mudman

and the idea is like every Jewish family grew up with this story of how one of their family members had to escape Russia because they had killed a Cossack with their bare hands. And I thought it would be funny if Schmuck just nudged a Cossack to death. And I wanted to do a,

a Sir Isaac Newton bit that we never could quite crack. But he just, an apple falls on his head and he, what he discovers is applesauce. And the tepid laugh of the audience is exactly why it did not end up.

Alright, Nick, we could talk about your shenanigans forever, but we have actually asked you here today to play a game we're calling... Nick Kroll meet Rick Roll. Gorgeous. We're going to Rick Roll you. By that, we mean ask you about roles

played by actors named Rick. Answer two... Finally. Answer two out of three questions correctly, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Nick Kroll playing for? Aaron Kahn of Los Angeles, California. I'm very excited. I love Aaron.

She's one of my dear friends. All right. Here's your first question. Jesse's girl singer, Rick Springfield, also played Dr. Noah Drake on General Hospital starting in 1981. But Springfield never sang on General Hospital until 2007 as a part of what storyline? Was it A, he was kidnapped and tied up next to a bomb that could only be diffused by singing a certain frequency? B, a rock star who looked exactly like Noah Drake needed emergency surgery

so they convinced Drake to fill in for the singer at a big charity concert. Or C, he was abducted by aliens and sang to prove that humans were a worthwhile species. Everybody knows, and wait, don't tell me, universe, how big a General Hospital fan I am. So I'm going to say that it was B. That is right, The rock star! Rick Springfield, of course, played both roles, Noah Drake and

the singer Eli Love. Here's your next question. Rick Moranis of Ghostbusters fame was fired from the role of Carl the Janitor in The Breakfast Club. Why? Was it A. He insisted on playing the janitor with a cartoonishly thick Russian accent, fake gold teeth, and a gigantic ring of keys? Was it B, he was too short to be seen behind the big trash can he had to wheel around?

Or was it C, he spent all day standing outside the bathroom in character and loudly complaining each time somebody used it? I'm going to go with A. That's right. It was the Russian accent. After a couple of days, John Hughes finally asked him, Rick, have you read the script? Okay.

And he was like, no, I haven't. Why? Jingle, jingle, jingle. Okay. For your last Rick role, Rick Overton is a veteran character actor who has played almost 200 roles, including Deacon Williams

in the 2015 Lifetime original movie, Lethal Seduction. What was the tagline? The Amy Dickinson story. What was the tagline of Lethal Seduction? Was it A, never going to give you up? B, never going to let you down? Or C, never going to run around or desert you?

Or C, never going to run around or desert you. Well, of course, this is a joke about Rick Astley, the original Rick Roll. I don't appreciate you guys not taking the game seriously. My gut is it's A, never going to give you up. You know what? It was none of the above. And we weren't taking it seriously. But we are going to give that point to you.

You better. I'm taking this very seriously. I don't appreciate you guys joking around. It was the tagline, by the way, because I know you're dying to know. The tagline was actually, innocence can be deadly. But you can't really dance to that. So, you know. Yeah. Like, I didn't know that. Like, lethal and lethal

seduction. Lethal injection. I don't know. Lethal injections. Right. Bill, how did Nick Kroll do on our quiz? Nick, you might be surprised, but you got them all right. You're a win in our book.

I'm going to be honest with you guys. I'm not surprised at all. This is what I've been training for my whole life. I would never let Aaron down. I came here to dominate Rick Kroll. I came here to embarrass Pete Gross. I feel like I've accomplished both.

Thank you. I love this audience again you guys are all going to be on History of the World Part 3 just send a $100 cash to Pete Gross at TrumpUniversity.com and in the meantime you can see Nick Kroll

in History of the World Part 2 on Hulu Nick Kroll thank you so much for joining us on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Nick. Listening to the news can feel like a journey. The 1A Podcast is here to guide you beyond the headlines and to cut through the noise. Listen to 1A, where we celebrate your freedom to listen by getting to the heart of the story together. Only from NPR.

At Planet Money, we take you to the furthest reaches of the global economy. From the currency black markets of Buenos Aires to the Caribbean island where no one owns property, to the giant underground caves where the U.S. government stored a national cheese supply. Cheese cave! Listen to the Planet Money podcast from NPR. The economy can sometimes feel like a big, scary wilderness filled with jargon and unreadable charts. The Planet Money podcast is here to help.

We love spreadsheets. Yeah, let us be your guide to the global economy. We brought snacks. Is that trail mix? It's actually gorp. That's Planet Money from NPR. Finally, Vanity Fair is the premier glossy gossip magazine about the A-list and the jet set, so it was a bit of a surprise to some when its owners hired a Ph.D. in comparative literature to be the editor-in-chief.

When Radhika Jones joined us in June of last year, we asked her about how she got the job. What was the interview process like? Did they say to you, what would you do with Vanity Fair? Or did they tell you what they wanted with Vanity Fair? What was the mission that was given to you? The idea was for me to express what I would do with it. And it's an amazing title. It has all the associations you mentioned with celebrity and scandal. But it also, over the years, has done incredible investigative reporting and really important photojournalism, war reporting, all of that. And I think there's a lot of room for magazines

that are really smart about our culture in all of its forms. And to me, at its core, that's what VF is. Right. I have a question. Go ahead, Emily. In your interview, did they ask you to name every Kennedy by heart?

Thankfully, no. Vanity Fair does these questionnaires sometimes for celebrities. Did they say to you, what living human do you despise the most? Oh, yeah. What smell makes you furious? Those answers are off the record. I understand. You are a professional.

Those answers are off the record. I understand. You are a professional. You guys also have done an amazing job reporting on Fox News and Rupert Murdoch. In fact, you recently broke the story that he asked his latest wife, Jerry Hall, for a divorce via email. Ouch.

Yeah. Do you ever worry that, I mean, he's Rupert Murdoch, do you ever worry he might have you killed? I suddenly am very conscious that I'm alone in my office. But there's security down there. There is. Don't worry about me. Rupert will be foiled again. You have an amazing amount of cultural influence. Have you ever, like, been tempted to use it for evil? Like, just say, let's get Scarlett Johansson. Every day.

Every day, all right. Every day. Can you give me an example of, like... No. No, no. Like, for example, I would, like, get Annie Leibovitz to take, like, a beautiful cover photograph of, say, Scarlett Johansson wearing

big, fuzzy earmuffs so that everybody would then wear earmuffs. That would be my thing. And obviously, I'm not qualified to do your job because that's lame. I feel like you're not going far enough. Okay. Show me up.

No, no. You already have people putting hits out on me. That's true. They're trying to get me in trouble. All right, I'm going to ask you one question as a tastemaker, though, because, again, your opinion goes, you're the editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair.

Are Apple Vision Pro goggles cool or not? I haven't tried them on yet. Yeah. But I think that that is in my future. And are they cool? Are they cool?

Are they cool? You get to say. You don't have to guess. You get to say. I'm going to say they look pretty cool. There you are. It's decided.

Apple stock just went up 5% because she said that. Well, Radhika Jones, it is a lot of fun to talk to you and we are going to test your intellectual mettle by asking you to play a game that this time we're calling Vanity Fair meet State Fair.

You edit Vanity Fair. What do you know about State Fairs, the wonderful entertainments that happen all over the country every summer? Get two out of three questions right, you'll win a prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Radhika Jones playing for? Sam Jacobs of Atlanta, Georgia. All right. Here is your first question.

These days, attractions at your state fairs tend to be carnival rides, maybe a tractor pull, but back in the old days, some state fairs had some really exciting things to see, like which of these? A. Genuine duels to the death. B. Steam locomotives smashing into each other head-on. Or C.

The Great Sheep Catapult. I've read The Little House on the Prairie books backwards and forwards, and none of those things happen in any of those books. I feel like this is... Maybe Louisa May Alcott just didn't want you to know about it. Laura Ingalls Wilder. Wow. Oh, snap, dog.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. That's all right. You just got PhD. I really was like, wow, Peter, really good for him. Dude, nobody here is ever going to respect you ever again. I know, it's true. Your library card has been rescinded. Not even rescinded.

It just burst into flames. I feel horribly embarrassed. Does this get me out of answering the actual question? Yes. No, it doesn't. Sadly, it doesn't. I don't think anybody died at the state fairs on purpose, so I don't think it could be A. And I feel like catapulting sheep is seriously uncool,

so let's go with steam locomotives. You're right. That's what happened All over the country and they stopped more or less at the depression when they no longer could afford to like smash Locomotives so they stopped. All right. Here's your next question Though many people think the games over in the Midway at your fairs are rigged one man was able to clean out all the prizes At the basketball shooting games at the Orange County Fair in California one year just by doing what? A, using a laser scope to aim his shots, B, using his 10-foot long prosthetic arm to just drop them in, or C, by being former NBA all-star Gilbert Arenas. B. You're going to go with B. He uses his 10-foot prosthetic arm to just reach out

and drop the basketballs in. C. She went C. Okay, she said C. Yes. Yes, in fact. Gilbert Arenas. He posted a picture of himself on Instagram

posing with all the stuffed animals they had, which he had won. And then, after that, the fair gave him a lifetime ban. So, all right, very good. Here's your last question. In addition to the usual prizes for livestock, the Minnesota State Fair gives out a prize every year for what? A, unhappiest family at the fair.

That's Tom's family. at the fair. That's Tom's family. B, best matching costume for a llama and its owner. Or C, the Garrison Keillor look-alike contest. I really hope it's C. That's

awesome. You're going to go for C. It was, in fact, the llama and the owner. Really? Yes. No, what I realize is we've got to schedule a photo shoot with these llamas. Yeah, you are. That would be pretty awesome. They are apparently extremely impressive,

and it is a highlight, apparently, of the Minnesota State Fair. Bill, how did Radhika Jones do on our quiz? You got two out of three, which is a win. Yeah. Congratulations. There you are. Thank you. quiz. You got two out of three, which is a win. Congratulations, there you are.

Radhika Jones is the editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair. Radhika Jones, thank you so much for joining us. What a joy to talk to you. Congratulations on the excellent work. Take care. That's it for our You Get What You Pay For edition. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeka writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our vibe curator is Emma Choi,

BJ Lederman composed our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grumbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey. Find out more about Peter Gwynn at petergwynn.org slash gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White, our business and ops manager is Colin Miller, our tour manager is Shana Donald, our production manager

is Robert Newhouse, our senior producer is Ian Chilock, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Thanks to everybody you heard this week. That means all of our panelists, all of our guests, our guest hosts, and Bill Curtis, and of course to Chioki Ianson for filling in this week. Thanks to all of you for listening, and our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theater.

You're the best. I am Peter Sagal. We'll be back with a fresh show next week. This is NPR. The NPR app cuts through the noise, bringing you local, national, and global coverage. No paywalls, no profits, no nonsense. Download it in your app store today. I'm glad you said that because nobody says that. Can I just say thank you to you for such a thoughtful interview?

Oh my God, yeah. I think you nailed it. Bullseye. Interviews with creators you love and creators you need to know. Listen to the Bullseye podcast only from NPR and Maximum Fun.