Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Kara Jackson

Episode Date: October 5, 2024

This week, acclaimed songwriter and poet Kara Jackson joins panelists Alzo Slade, Scaachi Koul, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Now, Our Change will honour 100 years of the Royal Canadian Air Force and their dedicated service to communities at home and abroad. From the skies to Our Change, this $2 commemorative circulation coin marks their storied past and promising future. Find the limited edition Royal Canadian Air Force $2 coin today. From NPR and only be easy Chicago this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the voice that was the inspiration for Creamy Peanut Butter. I'm Bill Curtis and here is your host at the Stda Studenbaker, theater, fine arts building in Chicago and our Peter Segel.

Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. We have a great show lined up for you today. Our guest later on is going to be Kara Jackson. She was the youth poet laureate of these United States. She is now an acclaimed singer and songwriter. And this is true, I coached her T-ball team when she was eight years old. So we will talk to her about how my guidance

back then led her as far as possible from a career in sports. But first we want to check on your swing, give us a call and play our games. The number is 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Matthew Neal from Santee, California. Santee, California. What do you do there?

I am a licensed professional fiduciary, but nobody knows what that means. You're right. So my short line is, I sell dead people's homes. Oh, that's much more pleasant. Yeah. Romantic. Is that like a good line at parties?

Yes, especially if you're going for like a Sixth Sense vibe. Yeah, I understand. Well, Matthew, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to the panel. First, she's a writer, actress, and comedian who you can see in Vermont at the Burlington Comedy Club. For two shows this New Year's Eve,'s Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Next is an Emmy and Peabody award-winning journalist and comedian it's Alzo Slade.

And making her debut on our panel this week she's a culture writer for Slate, host of the Scamfluencers podcast and author of the forthcoming essay collection, Sucker Punch. Welcome Sachi Cole. Hi, buddy. Welcome, Sachi. Good job. Done like a fiduciary, sir. All right, Matthew, you're going to play Who's Bill this time.

Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize and e-voice from our show. You might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Peter, do children fight over their parents' inheritances? And I will lock and load it. Alright Matthew, here's your first quote. It was from a pivotal moment at a big political event this week. Gentlemen, the audience can't hear you.

Your mics are cut. That was moderator Margaret Brennan speaking to the participants at what big event this week. That would be the vice presidential debate. The vice presidential debate, yes. Yeah. Tim Walz and JD Vance met on the debate stage Tuesday night and America, as always, is divided about it.

Some say the debate was boring while others insist it was completely irrelevant. JD Vance lived up to his reputation, appearing calm, sincere, and reasonable while lying all the time. Basically evil Pete Buttigieg. Right? Right? You see it, don't you? Yeah.

But Governor Wall seemed incredibly nervous, and he garbled a bunch of easy answers. It was a performance that made Democrats say, any chance we could replace this guy with Kamala Harris, too I think I think that the moderators right there should have said Gentlemen, the audience can't hear you because we're all sleep. Yeah Your mics are muted and we're gonna leave them that way Listen, I prefer it to be a little sleepy because the excitement is too much for me

Like I went to Canada S Satish from Canada, y'all. I am, famously. I don't know if y'all ever seen a debate in parliament up there, but they'd be yelling at each other. They'd be like, shut up, stupid. You're dumb. And while that was fun in Canada, I don't want that to happen here. Really?

I mean, they actually shook hands and spoke to each other like human beings. Yeah, I was surprised. It was strange. It made me feel unsafe. Really? Yeah. Well, it was, you know, it was a throwback to the old school, not that because it was boring it was just two white dudes.

Exactly. Yeah. That's true. You had no one throwing shade just with their facial expressions like Kamala can. It wasn't like JD Vance was like, Walls, you're just now identifying as white. I got to say that Governor Walls' performance was criticized, but it did burnish his regular guy, Midwest guy credentials.

Only a real hunter could have perfected that deer in the headlights look. All right, here is your next quote. Avoid your pet's names and no flipping to a random word in the dictionary and using that. That was the Washington Post talking about new federal guidelines that will make complicated what's a thing of the past. Ooh, can I get a hint, Peter? You can still use zeros for O's if you want to be fancy. Guidelines for your password? Yes, passwords.

No more complicated passwords. We're having to change them all the time. Or so says the National Institute of Standards and Technology or NIST, which by strange coincidence is my password. That sounds like a rule invented by someone trying to get into my email. Yeah. I just got this email from somebody and they said the password is going to be simple now. So I should change everything to password.

Right. Well, this came from a study of internet security over many, many years. It turns out, for example, you have all been told you have to have passwords with lots of special characters and random letters and stuff like that. No, it turns out that makes your password impossible to remember, which means you'll write it down somewhere, making them vulnerable to the cat burglar who break in and read all your post-its. Doesn't Google suggest a password all the time?

It does. It's like Qbert. I'm aging myself, but it's like 20 different characters, uppercase, lowercase, and then I just say yes, but then when I go back to that page, it never pops up. Right. And then you have to hit a cartoon character on the toe with a hammer and just type in what he said. It's so awkward. No, also, you won't have to change your password all the time.

Remember, if you work for a company, they say you don't have to change your password. It's been two months. You don't have to do it. I think that's foolish, though, because I'm pretty sure the reason I've never been hacked is because I changed my password from Aragorn rules to Aragorn rules one. Do you all have the same password for most of your things? Why don't you just tell us what your passwords are? I'm just going to write them down and we'll confirm what they are.

I won't tell you my password, I will tell you my mother's maiden name. Oh, perfect. The new guidelines, as a matter of fact, the new guidelines might also do away with those security questions like your first car or your childhood best friend, so no more forced nostalgic reveries every time you order from Grubhub. I think my password is who the hell is Aragon? Yeah. All right, Matthew, here's your last quote.

I have a small piece of chicken I don't know what to do with. Those are the words. Those were the words of a fry cook speaking to the owner of a restaurant in Manchester, New Hampshire, 50 years ago this month, on the day what incredibly popular fast food menu item was born. Fried chicken? Not fried chicken. Fried chicken goes back further than 50 years.

Chicken nuggets? Yes! Specifically, the chicken tender. This year marks the 50th anniversary of the birth of the chicken tender. It's the quintessential American cuisine, deep fried, whatever we have lying around. Only 50 years? Only 50, I know, that's amazing, isn't it? I feel like that's something that black folks did thousands of years ago and then white folks 50 years ago, they just found it and they're like, we discovered this. Somebody, they Christopher Columbus the chicken tender.

Yeah, the story goes, there was one part of of a chicken the tenderloin. It was completely useless So this inventive chef breaded it and fried it and the chicken tender was born joining the Mount Rushmore of breaded chicken hand food alongside the chicken finger the chicken nugget and the whatever your toddler wants to call it. Please, Elliot, just eat it. We're late. I used to order chicken fingers all the time at restaurants. My mother told me you cannot do this on dates when you get older. And I did it on the first day with my boyfriend. We've been together five and a half years.

Really? Is that the key? I guess so. He didn't want to pay for the lobster. I was about to say that. If I went on a first date with a woman and all she wanted was chicken tenders, I'd be like, she is the one. This is good and tall. Would you like some ranch sauce, barbecue sauce?

This is true. At the original restaurant, even though they invented this thing, it took a while for the chicken tender to outsell what had been everybody's favorite dish, barbecued lamb, right? So if the chicken tender had not been invented, today we'd be going to McDonald's and ordering our kids six-piece McMuttons. Bill, how did Matthew do in our quiz? Matthew came to play. He got three right.

Good. Well done. Thanks so much? Matthew came to play. He got three right. Good. Go on. Well done. Thanks so much, Matthew. Take care. Thank you for having me.

Bye bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Also, this week, the Washington Post tried to explain one of the most mysterious phenomena that we know of, why people fall asleep on the couch, but then cannot seem to do what? Sleep in the bed. Exactly right.

You knew exactly what I was talking about. Get up from the couch, say, oh man, I've got to go to sleep. Go to sleep. You can't fall asleep. Because we've all found ourselves waking up from a fast sleep on the couch, in front of the TV, and you've gotten into bed to go to sleep, and you lie awake for an hour. It makes no sense. No one is like, oh man, I can't sleep if I'm not sitting upright with my head lulling

onto my chest while Netflix just keeps playing episodes, right? The Post asked two sleep experts to explain the phenomenon. They offered a bunch of possible reasons. First, people who fall asleep in the couch tend to get up, brush their teeth, take out their contacts, take off their makeup, use the bathroom, but the time they're done with all that, it's morning. But I feel like you get the best sleep

in places where you're not supposed to sleep. School, church, work, all those places is best sleep. But in your own bed, not so much. Yeah. My wife falls asleep on the couch and then I cannot get her to get up. I say, come on, let's go to bed. Well, because she knows once she gets into bed,

she won't be able to go back to sleep. So you just- Because you're there or because of- Well, wait a minute. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Can't sleep.

Coming up, something's afoot in Montana in our bluff listener game called One Triple Eight, Wait, Wait to Play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. JD Vance and Tim Walz had their first and only debate on Tuesday. What happened? The NPR Politics Podcast has you covered with all the news and analysis from the vice presidential debate. Listen to the NPR Politics Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

This is Manic Heritage Month. The Code Switch Podcast invites you to listen to a side of the immigration story you don't hear often, one of joy. Listen as we spend a day at Flushing Meadows Park in Queens, talking to some of the people that make the park their weakened escape. Listen on the Coat Switch podcast from NPR. Wisconsin's presidential vote has often come down to less than 1% of the state's population. On NPR's Consider This podcast, we'll hear what's keeping Wisconsin voters up at night. We need someone who's going to be dedicated to what's happening for us. Wisconsin, where just 20,000 votes could swing a state of nearly 6 million.

This week on NPR's Consider This Podcast. Every weekday, NPR's best political reporters come to you on the NPR Politics Podcast to explain the big news coming out of Washington, the campaign trail, and beyond. We don't just want to tell you what happened, we tell you why it matters. Join the NPR Politics Podcast every single afternoon to understand the world through political eyes. Bill Curtis, NPR News Quiz From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, who you're playing this week with Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Sati Cole,

and Alzo Slade. And here again is your host at the Student Bakers Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to play the game in the air. Or check out the pinned post on our Instagram,

at Wait, Wait, NPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter, this is Stacy Bendixson in Des Moines, Iowa. Hey, Stacy, what do you do there in Des Moines? I work at a corporate foundation and I do community theater for fun and I'm a childless cat lady. Are you really?

Yeah! Thanks. Yeah, girl! Oh my God, yes! Me and Taylor Swift. Exactly. Stacy, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try

to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Stacy's topic? What's up with Arthur Shubarth? 81-year-old Montana rancher Arthur Shubarth made the news this week for a pretty surprising reason. And it's not because he became the first ever literal Jolly rancher. Our panelists are going to tell you what he did to get in the newspapers this week. Pick

the one who's telling the truth about Mr. Shubarth and you will win the weight-weighter of your choice in your voicemail. Ready to go? I'm ready. First, let's hear from Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Get the heck off my lawn, yelled Arthur Shubarth for the 21st time as 14 other senior citizens tried to catch up with him at the first annual running of the whippersnappers. This event was inspired by his father Arthur Shubarth senior who would actually yell at kids to get off his lawn while waving a shotgun. Arthur Jr. a retired high school coach and

lifelong teacher realized that kids today were both too well-mannered and also too indolent to ever come over to annoy an old man like him. So he came up with a competition which combines quote shenanigans, tomfoolery, and devilment. He invited local high schoolers to raise money for the right to trespass on his lawn and gather hidden prizes like his prize petunia while he attempts to shoot them with super soakers. 60 kids instantly signed up. But more surprisingly, other senior citizens also wanted to sign up. So now the event has two competitions, best pimple-faced brat and most curmudgeonly old

coot. I want this to be my legacy said Arthur. When I'm gone, I want people to say that mean old man was really great. Arthur Schubarth starts the first running of the whippersnappers. The competition involving shooing kids off his lawn. Your next report on this rancher comes from Sachi Cole.

Arthur Schubarth spent the better part of his life in service to the animals. Most of his career had been in husbandry, tending to the horses, the cows, and even the bees on his sprawling Wyoming ranch. But in retirement, he wanted to turn his approach to a different kind of husbandry, human husbandry. Enter the Love Ranch, an intensive 12-week matchmaking retreat where Shubarth pairs attendees off until they find the one. Part spa and part sleepaway camp, singles work on the ranch and are matched up according to attitude and skill by Shubarth. It's like a singles cruise except it's landlocked and everything smells like poop. There are,

surprisingly, a few overlaps between animal and human husbandry. People participants are put into small enclosures to smell and perhaps headbutt each other. Potential matches are encouraged to dine from the same trough as if it's a bonding exercise. And of course, if the studs get too frisky, there's always the cattle prod. Schubarth says he got the idea for Love Ranch after falling asleep in front of the television and waking up to hour six of a 28-hour Love Island marathon. Arthur Schubarth has opened the Love Ranch where he applies his techniques of animal husbandry to humans.

Your last Mr. Schubarth scoop comes from Alzo Slade. For many of us, creating the world's largest sheep is just a dream, a fantasy we all yearn for but we never attempt. Until this year when 81-year-old Montana rancher Arthur Schubarth tried to play God. Well, sheep God. The rancher cloned a bunch of different breeds to create his perfect mutant sheep. Unfortunately, you can't just buy specialized sheep semen at the grocery store. So Shubhar and his co-conspirators smuggled sheep tissue and testicles from Kyrgyzstan. Now, if you think he was creating the perfect giant sheep for cuddling, that's because you're soft. Giant sheep are created for hunting, of course.

The woolly sheep that you would count to sleep were too soft and weak, with no horns. Plus, they shed when mounted on a trophy wall. So Schubert set out to Frankenstein a super sheep. The result was a 300-pound specimen that was sold to hunting facilities around the country. Now for all of his efforts of international ball smuggling and laboratory sheep creation, Shubarth got six months in prison. When he told his cellmate what he was in for,

the cellmate replied, damn, that was a bad idea. So, I can tell you this much, there really is an Arthur Shubarth in Montana. But was he in the news this week for, from Joyelle Nicole Johnson running the first ever running of the whippersnappers with kids invited to try to get on his lawn. From Saatchi Cole opening the love ranch where animal husbandry is used for people, or from Alzo Slade jailed for illegally creating a Franken sheep. Which of these was what Arthur Schubarth really did.

I am gonna go with my instincts and say the super sheep. The super sheep, the Franken sheep, the monstrous hybrid sheep. That haunts all of our dreams. You're choosing Alzo's story. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter covering this important story. A Montana rancher got busted for creating giant hybrid sheep to sell to hunting centers

for huge amounts of money. That was Justine McDaniel, a reporter for the Washington Post, who reported on the real story of good old 81-year-old Arthur Shubarth and his freaky hybrid monster sheep. So you won, you were correct, Olso in fact had the real story. Congratulations. Olso gets a point for telling the truth. And you have won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose in your voicemail Congratulations, Stacey. I'm so excited. Thank you. I'm a super fan

After the spread of the red light, she... And now the game we call Not My Job. Cara Jackson grew up not far from here in Oak Park, Illinois, where she started writing poetry in high school, something she became so good at, she was named first Chicago's and then America's Youth Poet Laureate. She then started putting her words to her own music and playing at festivals from Pitchfork to Glastonbury. Kara Jackson, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Now I have left off what I think of as one of the most important items on your resume, which is that you were one of the starting players on the Angels,

an eight-year-old girl's tee ball team in Oak Park, which I coached. Yeah. So... APPLAUSE Um... A little nervous about the answer. What do you remember about Coach Segal on the Angels and being on the Angels? You know, not a lot. Yeah.

Which is probably not good because I'm not that old. But you know, I still actually have my angel's shirt, like the uniform. I can't fit it anymore, but I still have it. So my memory of it was like, you guys were so amazing at coming up with like great cheers for any given situation, and you still didn't know which base to run to when you hit the button. I feel like I did though. I was like one of the good...

You were. I didn't want to cache in the other players. No shade. I guess we have all healed from that moment, I hope. But I was pretty good at T-ball. I've got to say, I was just really tall also. I remember it was me and Emma Smith. And we were just the tallest people on the team

So it was like obviously I could hit the ball Yeah, I feel like some people struggled like there were some people where it was like they were shorter so they had to like You know lower the tee. Yeah, but the taller kids they would make it bigger and everyone would be like back up like There really is there really is no better feeling I imagine than coming than coming to bat with the tea and all the other players. Yeah, I feel like I'm still chasing that high, honestly. Right? So you moved from tea ball to poetry and were named the Chicago Youth Poet Laureate while

you were still in high school. Do you remember any of those early poems? Well, unfortunately for me, I, a part of the youth poet laureate program in the city, every poet laureate is responsible for writing a chapbook, so like a mini book of poems. So I have, you know, a living archive of all the poems I wrote at that time. Right. Do you ever go back and look at them and how do you feel about them? I think it's been a minute since I've looked back at them, but I think I have mixed emotions.

Sometimes it's cringey just because I think that having a living record of things you thought as a teenager would just be cringey probably for everyone here. It gets people cancelled. You know, it's also like a chance for me to... I'm trying to do better the older I get to also treat my younger self with care and appreciate what I was doing at that age, because I think you take for granted a lot. My advice would be go to that young girl you once were and give her a snack and a juice box because it always worked.

After the game snacks. Oh, the best part of T-ball. So good. I can see we're never going to get off that topic. You then became, and I remember hearing about this and being very impressed, the national youth poet laureate. And what kind of, I mean that sounds like a serious post, what kind of obligations, duties, ceremony, or otherwise come with it? Yeah, so when I became the youth poet laureate, the program was still relatively new.

I was the third one, so I think the program was still kind of establishing itself in terms of what it entails as a role. I think it was still kind of becoming a real tangible thing. So you were the third one, and there have been plenty since then. So do you look at the new ones like, man, y'all got it good, you know, like how college athletes are getting paid a lot more money now? I don't know. I really think I only look at the new ones with admiration because they're younger than

me so I just look at people who are younger than me with admiration. But either way, I think I would never trade places with someone who's like 19, no matter what I'm going through. And you're 25 right now. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Almost 25.

In a couple weeks. You're not 25 yet? You're at that age? She's like, yeah, back in the day when I was just 19. 24 and a half. Let's talk about your music. So you have a song about the various losers you've dated. It's called ****head blues.

It's pretty scathing. And I'm wondering what has that done for your social life? I don't know. Because I think that I am really associated with like-minded people. So I think it maybe only enhanced it. I feel like for people who needed that song, they really, you know, leaned into it. And it's been fun to travel and perform that one in front of many different audiences. I had to perform at the U.S. Ambassador in London, and I did that song for the U.S. Ambassador. And she was really cool with it. I feel like she may be related, possibly. And the response was positive?

Yeah. Yeah, well, there you are. The ambassador was like, right on, right on. He said, yeah, girl. Give him a glove. Well, Kara Jackson, it is great to talk to you. And we've invited you here to play a game we're calling. It's a yes fun party.

So you wrote a song called No Fun Party. Yes. So based on that we thought we'd ask you about some really fun parties. Answer two to three questions correctly. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose for their voicemail. Bill, who is Kara Jackson playing for? Maureen Tarr of Hennetic, Massachusetts. There you are. All right. Ready to play? Okay, yeah. All right. Sorry, it advanced to whoever I'm playing for. No, I just want you to conjure up the confidence of being a T-ball player and watching the fielders in the team back up because they can see you getting ready to swing. Here we go.

First question. The former executive of a company called Tyco was sent to prison back in the day for stealing money from his company to fund his lavish lifestyle, including a 2002 birthday party for his wife, which included which of these? A, each guest getting a new Mercedes Benz in a giant bag as they departed. B, an ice sculpture of Michelangelo's David that dispensed vodka from his little David. Or see a musical background of instrumental versions of U2 songs played during the cocktail hour by U2.

Oh my gosh, I don't know. All of that sounds so outrageous. But I feel like maybe it's B? It is B. So if you think about it, it's sort of like a spigot, right? The ice sculptor. Anyway, here is your next question. A British woman named Ivy Smalls celebrated her 105th birthday back

in 2016. She only had one request for the party. What was it? A, life-size blown up photos of all her enemies that she had outlived. That's what I was wondering. That's my kind. B, hunky firefighters with tattoos. Or C, pot brownies?

Even though maybe the last one is the most practical, the first one speaks to me the most, so I'm going to go with A. Life-sized photos of all the people she had outlived. No, it was actually hunky firefighters with tattoos. Really? That's what she wanted. That's fair. I guess I couldn't really put myself into her perspective.

Yeah, and that's what she says. I would like hunky firefighters with tattoos, please. And so the local fire brigade was like, we'll help. They even raised their ladder so they entered the party by climbing up through the second floor window of her old folks' home. She was very happy. All right, here's your last question. Get this right, you win.

Colleges are known, of course, for huge parties, and in 2017, one house party at a college in Maryland became such a rager that what happened? A, NBA scouts showed up just to recruit from the beer pong games. B, when the cops came to bust up their party, their breathalyzers all went off just from the air inside the house. Or C, the party became so big, it could be seen from space. Yeah, I'm going to go with B. Sorry in advance to this person. You're right again.

Oh, dang. Don't get count, don't get count. You're right, you're right. The air was so thick with alcohol that the breathalysers on their belts started beeping. Bill, how did Kara Jackson do in our quiz? Two out of three, Kara. You are the poet laureate who won the game. Congratulations! Kara Jackson is an award-winning poet and the celebrated singer-songwriter behind Why

Does the Earth Give Us People to Love and speaking from personal experience, she's a contact hitter who can hit with power to all fields. Kara Jackson, thank you so much for joining us on We Wish You a Merry Christmas. In just a minute, Frog finally learns where Toad ran off to in our listener limerick challenge called 1-888-WAITWAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. If you enjoy Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, you should try out NPR+. With Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me+, you get sponsor-free listening and exclusive bonus episodes from just this show. But you can upgrade to the NPR Plus

bundle and access perks from over 20 of NPR's most popular podcasts and more. Give a little, get a lot in return. Visit plus.npr.org. As election day approaches, NPR's Consider This podcast is zooming in on six states that could determine who wins the White House. Georgia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Michigan, Arizona, and Pennsylvania. We'll ask voters in these swing states what matters to them and which way they want the country to go. Follow along with new episodes this week on the Consider This Podcast from NPR. Truth, independence, fairness, transparency, respect, excellence. This is NPR. from NPR and WBEZ Chicago this is wait wait don't tell me the NPR News Quiz I'm Bill Curtis we are playing this week with Alzo Slade, Sachi Cole and Joyelle Nicole Judson and here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segel.

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill wins a Guggenheim Fellowship in our Listener Elimric Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Sachi, a new psychology study finds that if you want to preserve your reputation as a decent person, while still talking about people behind their back, you should make sure you sprinkle your gossip with what? I've never gossiped in my life, so this one's really tough for me.

I don't know, backstage you were saying something about Peter. That was between us? You have to sprinkle your gossip with compliments? You're close, but remember the person is not there. Oh. So it's all about, you're speaking about them behind their back, it's all about presenting a certain thing, a certain attitude to the person you're gossiping with. So it's like, OMG, did you hear what Jeff did?

I hope he's okay. You're telling people about it. Oh, you have to sprinkle it with concern. Exactly. Concern. Oh, I've been doing it wrong. Exactly. Yeah, I'm going straight for the neck.

Exactly. And then I'm out of there. Exactly. I've been doing that naturally. Really? So maybe instead of me explaining the study, you can just give us an example. Yeah, because you'll be like, yeah,

because you know she was out there, and then that baby wasn't hers. But also, that girl's blood pressure is high. You know, that's how it is. And you're worried about it. You're worried about her blood pressure. I've really been doing this. Let's talk about her more.

So this is a real example from the study. Instead of saying quote, Kate is a drunken moron, science, science say quote, Kate got really drunk over the weekend. I hope she's okay. That's pretty smooth though. Yeah, that's really elegant. Yeah, it's really important. Joyell, in a video meant to appeal to female voters, a GOP candidate in Virginia running for Congress posed with a wife and three daughters.

One problem though, what? Oh my gosh. Also, do you know the answer? I do know the answer. Yeah, it's pretty good. Did he have a fake family? Yes, they were not his wife and children. They were somebody else's.

Somebody else's wife and children. Unexplained. Whose wife and children? He doesn't have a wife or children, so he borrowed some. He's trying to, this man is named Derek Anderson. He's trying to appeal to voters as a family man, right? He doesn't have a wife or children, so he borrowed some. This man is named Derek Anderson. He's trying to appeal to voters as a family man, right?

So his campaign video ends with a candidate standing with his lovely woman and three kids who are in fact the family of a close friend of his, and they all have smiles that say, how long do we have to keep smiling? And what makes all this even weirder, he's not married, but he has a fiance. And he didn't ask her to pose with him for his campaign ad. Well that would have been weird to have two wives in the photo. Yeah. Depending on the state.

Well not in some districts, but districts. I think it's illegal, yeah. Joyelle, the New York City Council approved a landmark bill this week, finally making birth control free for whom? Mayor Eric Adam. We should be so lucky. I wouldn't have been able to buy him. Please. Give me a hint. It's hard. I mean, the reason you're not thinking of this is because you normally don't think of this. There are no love scenes in Ratatouille, for example.

Oh. Eww. Rats. Rats. Well, that's good. Rats. Rats are getting birth control for free. New York City, in their effort to eliminate rats and draw attention away from whatever

Eric Adams just did, will be seeding the streets and gutters with pellets of rat birth control, coated in a sweet substance to make it more tempting for the rats to eat. So rat birth control, delicious candy. But for humans, it's like here's an IUD, it's made of knives. I think it's good that the rats have more access to birth control than I do. I think that makes sense. I feel good about that.

The problem is it's not consensual. What do you mean? They don't know that they're taking birth control. So you're concerned about like what? HIPAA for rats? This isn't fair? It's not fair for rats. What if there's a female rat that wants to have children and she thinks she's eating candy? She's a childless ratling? Coming up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen

for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, and we'll be at the Fox Theater in Detroit, Michigan on November 14th. And this week, on our sister podcast, How to Do Everything, Mike and Ian help me fulfill a lifelong dream, the one that requires me to dress up as a sausage.

Hi, you're on, wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Bron, I'm from Chicago. Hey! Hey, Chicago. Hey. What do you do here in the greatest city in the world? I'm a sign language interpreter. You are?

That's great. That's awesome. And who do you do that work for? All over the city. I do freelance, so basically I get emails and I show up to where they tell me to go. I understand. And what is the best kind of event to interpret in sign language? Well, my first degree is in theater tech, so doing like theater stuff is really where I have the most fun.

But also just anything where the job goes smoothly and everybody leaves happy. Well, welcome to the show, Bron. Now Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly and two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to go? Sure. Here's your first limerick. Here's a camouflaged Ford zipping past watch.

I hope Bigfoot is sipping his last scotch. With that truck silver haul, it's the cryptids last call. It's a Bronco designed to hunt. Sasquatch? Sasquatch, yes! There is a special edition Ford Bronco designed especially for dedicated hunters of Bigfoot. It's called the Sasquatch Searcher. It comes with everything you might need for your next cryptid hunting expedition including a camo exterior, roof-mounted lights, and of course a really crappy camera so you can show your friends a blurry picture and say, See? I told you!

I don't like this. You don't? Why not? It's going to set a precedent. Now we're going to have Elvis, Tupac searchers, all these car companies going to come out with cars searching for dead people. You're going to have like cars for like, you know, alien invader believers with no roof so they can just be beamed straight up. Exactly.

All right. Here is your next limerick. Since bubbles affect madame's brain, what we'll do to grand cruise a damned shame. It's still a high price, but without any any vice we're removing the booze from... Champagne? Yes, champagne. There's a brand new $119 alcohol-free champagne on the market which is great news for people who love spending money but hate having fun. The founders say they created French bloom non-alcoholic champagne because there are no quote alcohol-free festive and sophisticated beverage options.

Okay, root beer literally exists? I don't drink so I don't even know what makes champagne champagne. Is it just the... The region? The region. Yeah. The region is made. Yeah.

It's, you know. And also that it's gross. You're right. Is all champagne bubbly? Yes, champagne is bubbly. That's just soda. No, it's the gross part. It's wine soda. Yeah, champagne is bubbly.

It's sparkling wine, as they say. It sounds raggedy to me. Okay. Here is your last limerick. At the store, I'm about to explode, because this salad is not up to code. The mixed greens awoke and let out a low croak. Yes, my salad included a... Toad?

A toad, yes. A woman in England was surprised when she found a live toad in her pre-packaged salad. That's what happens when you don't read the label. It clearly said, allergen alert, manufactured in a facility overrun with toads. Are toads tiny? Toads are not necessarily tiny, nor do we know how big this toad was. I feel like it don't matter if it's live in my salad, it's a problem.

Yeah. That's just bonus protein. Yeah, imagine, Joelle, if someone screamed, oh my god, there's a toad in my salad, your first question would not be, how big? How big? Yeah. How big was it?

Yeah. Bill, how did Bronn do in our quiz? Bronn is the complete limerick player. Boy, 3-0. Quick, do it. Well done. Thank you. Thank you, Bronn.

Thanks for playing. Take care. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Fresh air? Up first. NPR News Now, Planet Money, Ted Radio Hour, ThruLine, the NPR Politics Podcast, Code Switch, Embedded, Books We Love, Wildcard... are just some of the podcasts you can enjoy sponsor-free with NPR plus get all sorts of perks across more than 20 podcasts with the bundle option learn more at plus dot NPR dot org Hey, it's Mike and Ian. We're the hosts of how to do everything from the team at wait wait Don't tell me every week. We take your questions and find someone much smarter than us to answer them questions Like how do I safely jump out of a moving vehicle?

How do I dangerously jump out of a moving vehicle? We can't help you, but we will find someone who can. Listen to the How to Do Everything podcast from NPR. Need to stay up to date on all the news but just can't find the time? Try NPR's new Up First newsletter. You'll get important stories, critical developments on breaking news, and perspectives on hot topics that you're totally free to pass off as your own. Sign up at npr.org slash Up First Newsletter. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60

seconds in which to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Joyelle and Alzo each have three. Sachi has two. Okay. Sachi, that means you're up first.

Fill in the Blank, as part of her upcoming book tour, CNN says that blank asked to be paid $250,000 for an interview. Melania. Yes. This week, over 100 additional people claimed they'd pursue legal action against imprisoned hip-hop mogul Blank. Diddy. Yes, known as Sean Combs as well.

This week, a possible human case of blank flu was reported in Florida. Bird flu? Right. This week, a driver in Washington was ticketed for unauthorized use of the carpool lane when he blanked. When he merged? I don't know. When he dressed up his passenger seat in a plaid shirt and tried to pass it off as a

person. I can't believe I didn't think of that. That was a politician. According to new estimates, Twitter is worth 80% less than it was worth when blank purchased it. When Elon purchased it. Yes. For several hours on Monday, over 100,000 blank customers lost cell service.

AT&T? No. This time it was Verizon. This week a court in Taiwan sided with a son who had sued his mom after she blanked. After she died? No, after she threw his comic books away. The woman's 20-year-old son was still living at home and was outraged when he found out his mom had thrown out his entire collection of Attack on Titan comic books. The court ordered the mother to pay $160 to the son to replace the comic books, though

they did throw out the additional charge of, and we're all out of Doritos. Oh my goodness. And get the ass out the house. Basically. Bill, how did Saci do on her first quiz? Saci did well. Four right, eight more points, total of ten. That's a lead right now. Thanks.

All right. That's a lead. I'm going to pick Alzo to go next. Here we go, Alzo. Fill in the blank. After reaching a tentative wage agreement with employers on Thursday, U.S. blank workers agreed to suspend their strike. Longshoremen.

Yeah, port workers. On Tuesday, former President Blank celebrated his 100th birthday. You suck at the threat. Habitat for Humanity's president. It is. In honor of him, I'll give it to you. Jimmy Carter, according to Nielsen estimates, over 43 million people watched The Blank on Tuesday.

The debate, the vice president's debate. On Tuesday, Claudia Scheinbaum was sworn in as the first female president of blank. Mexico. Right. This week, a Florida woman was released from prison after a test confirmed that the meth residue police found in her car turned out to be blank. Sugar.

Dried SpaghettiOs. What? That's what it was. It was on a spoon. On Tuesday, the doctor charged in connection with Friends star Blank's death pled guilty to distributing ketamine. Matthew Perry? That's the guy.

This week, the New York Times published an explosive report that found many zoo pandas were blank. Many zoo pandas were disguised as dogs. Right. Although, it's the other way around. I'll give it to you. They were dogs disguised as pandas. Dogs disguised as dogs. Right. Although it's the other way around, I'll give it to you. They were dogs disguised as pandas. The Times says more and more zoos and circuses around the world

have been painting dogs and passing them off as pandas. Oh, the fluffy. Yeah, the fluffy dogs. Maybe this is on us. We probably should have known something was up when the pandas at the zoo got so excited to see us, they wouldn't stop humping our legs. Bill, how did Alzo do in our quiz?

Very well. Six right, 12 more points, 15 is the total that leaves. So Bill, how many does Joyelle need to win? Six to tie and seven to win. Here we go, Joyelle. You know how I do. I'm rooting for you. Here we go, Joy Ellison. You know how I do. I'm rooting for you. Here we go.

This is for the game. On Wednesday, new documents related to Blank's January 6th case were unsealed. Oh, Trump's? Yes. On Monday, controversial baseball legend Blank passed away at the age of 83. Controversial baseball player? Yes. I don't know.

Not Dick Kambay Matumbo. No. No. No. This was Pete Rose. Oh, I've heard Bay Mutombo. Not, no, no, this was Pete Rose. Oh, I've heard of him. Yes, this week, millions were left without power after Hurricane Blank swept across the southeast. Helene.

Yes, according to a new report, parents of over 125,000 kindergarteners filed for blank exemptions last year. Tax? No, vaccine exemptions. What? This week, a man in Oklahoma was charged with stealing a car so he could get to court in time for his trial for blanking. Oh, Jesus. Cooking meth on a spaghetti spoon. No, for stealing another car.

Thanks to melting glaciers, it was announced that the Alpine border between Italy and blank would soon have to be redrawn. Switzerland? You're right. I know geography. On Thursday, NASA bumped two astronauts from the Falcon 9 rocket to make room for those still stuck on the blank. International Space Station!

Oh, some of y'all be listening. This week, hundreds of tourists flocked to a small town in Colorado to witness the yearly blank. Running on the whippestappers. No, the yearly tarantula mating season. Oh. You didn't even give me any answers. Tourists from across the country travel to La Junta, Colorado every year to witness the

beauty of tarantula mating season. Why not? It combines everybody's two favorite things, sex and spiders the size of your hand. That would terrify. Bill, did Joyelle do well enough to win? She got four right, eight more points. Her 11 means she's number two and the winner is Alzo Klage. Alzo!

Woohoo! Just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict after chicken tenders, what food innovation will we be celebrating the invention of 50 years from today? But first, let me tell you that, wait, wait, don't tell me, is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Burman, Ben Neville, and Overlord. Philip Gotica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shane Adomald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Lierman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills,

Miles Drumbass, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey and Blythe Robertson. Peter Gwynn is our Peter Laureate. Our vibe curator is Emma Choi. Technical Directionist is Lorna White. Our CFOFO is Colin Miller our production manager is Robert Newhouse our senior Producers Ian Chilag and the executive producer of wait wait don't tell me is Mike Danforth now panel What food innovation will we be celebrating 50 years from now? Sachi cold I think it's gonna be those chips that are so spicy. They're sending people to the hospital And I think we'll do it as an in memoriam Joy on Nicole Johnson, oh that big cut oats And I think we'll do it as an in-memorial for whoever didn't learn their lesson.

Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Ozempic cut oats. The more you eat, the less you want. Alzo Slade. To get another celebration, the chicken tender is just going to make us call itself the boneless chicken wing. For the funny of that happens panel, we Well, if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Alzo Slay, Joel Nicole Johnson, and Satri Cole. And thanks to all of you for listening. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the beautiful Steward Baker Theater, and to you wherever you may be. I'm Peter Segel.

We'll see you may be. I'm Peter Sagan. We'll see you next week. This is NPR. One year ago, the event that changed a region. Heavily armed Palestinian militants in Gaza flew across the border. The October 7th Hamas attacks on Israel. Israeli ground troops have entered northern Gaza. How the war unfolded and where it could be headed. Pagers carried by Hezbollah members began exploding in cars. Listen to a special episode of the podcast, State of the World, from NPR.

People in Nevada are more racially diverse than a lot of swing states. About 40% of voters in Nevada are not white. Does that shape their views of issues like inflation and immigration? Donald Trump and Kamala Harris are both gambling on Las Vegas. Hear from Nevada voters all this week on NPR's Consider This Podcast. The day's top headlines, local stories from your community, your next podcast binge listen. You can have it all in one place. Your pocket. Download the NPR app today.