Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Laufey

Episode Date: July 26, 2025

This week, special guest Laufey joins panelists Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Peter Grosz, and Adam BurkeLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

This message comes from TED Talks Daily, a podcast from TED. Discover new ideas every day about stuff like finding humor in life's absurdity, the existence of aliens, or what happens when your dog uses the internet. Find TED Talks Daily wherever you listen. From NPR and no, it be easy, Chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. If my voice wore pants, I'd buy them in the big and tall section. I'm Bill Curtis and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you Bill, thanks everyone. We are very excited as well for this week's show because later on we're going to be interviewing Leve,

the brilliant Icelandic pop jazz musician, and yes Icelandic pop jazz musician is what you get when you ask chat GPT to create the perfect NPR guest. But if you want to prove that your intelligence is not artificial give us a call and play our games the number is one triple eight wait wait that's one eight eight eight nine two four eight nine two four let's welcome our first listener contestant. How you're on wait wait don't tell me. Hi this is Shannon I'm calling from Flagstaff, Arizona. Hey, Shannon, how are you? What's... Oh, Flagstaff is great. I'm excited to talk to you guys. I'm very excited to talk to you. Flagstaff is a great place to be because you're up and high and away from the brutal heat, right? Yeah, I just moved here like

two weeks ago from Phoenix and I'm not moving back. Yeah, just in time. What do you do or will you do there now that you're there? About 15 minutes ago, I got an offer from a cardiac physician as a nurse at the hospital here. So I'm pretty at the window. Oh my gosh, this is great. You did the flag dance, get a new job, come on our show. You're talking about wait wait don't tell me. Yeah, everything's.

It's the best day ever. I hope you studied to be a nurse. Well Shannon, it's great to talk to you. And congratulations on all the good things. But let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a comedian appearing at Hey Nani in Arlington Heights, Illinois, August 1st, it's Adam Burke. Hi. How are you?

Hello. Congratulations. Thank you. Next, a comedian whose album Yell Joy is available to buy at the Blonde Medicine. It's Joyell, Nicole Johnson. Cash, Shannon. Thanks, Joel. And an actor and writer who will be appearing at Chicago's I.O.

Theater in the acclaimed show, Two Square, this very weekend. It's Peter Gross. Hi. Thanks, Peter. So, Shannon, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Of course, Bill Curtis is going to start us off by recreating two or three, shall we say, voices from the week's news.

If you can correctly explain just two of them, then you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Yes. All right. Your first quote, then, is from ranking House Rules Committee member Congressman Jim McGovern. They're scared bleeless over those files. McGovern was explaining the move by Speaker of the House,

Mike Johnson, as he shut down Congress early to avoid having to reveal what? Is that the Epstein file? It is the Epstein file. Speaker Mike Johnson ended the House session a day early saying he wanted lawmakers to have more vacation time to be with their families or travel to the secret sex islands they love. Now Johnson was dealing of course as all the Republicans are with hordes of conspiracy theorists in their own party demanding to see these Epstein files so he did the perfect

thing to put them at ease, shutting down the government to avoid talking about it. I also do appreciate that, like, I learned a lot from Trump sometimes, like whenever you're in trouble for something, just be like, Obama. Yep, it's true, the administration is trying so hard to distract from all this, they're bringing up Hillary's emails, remember that one? Yes. They're investigating Obama,'s emails. Remember that one? Yes. They're investigating Obama.

They're like, oh, Epstein files. Hey, guys, remember Pizzagate? Yeah. It is. It's like a, well, it's the summer, so it's a time that a lot of like old men go on tour and play their greatest hits. Exactly. Yeah, he's going to be like, William Henry Harrison died in 30 days, y'all.

This is horrible for Trump because he's so eager to distract attention from this he's being forced to do his job. He's being forced to actually talk about government and it's so funny like how obvious some of the distractions are. Like he's opening up an inquiry into the last season of Game of Thrones. Now that I want to know. Alright that finally unites the nation. Yeah. No it's the first thing seemingly that has stuck to Trump so the Democrats are now pushing him on it too right. They're all like Epstein files we want to see the Epstein files. Nothing has united Democrats and Republicans like

this since they all went to Jeffrey Epstein's island together. I know man. If you want to trade Bill Clinton for Donald Trump that is a trade I will make. Exactly. All right here Shannon is your next quote. Ideally I'd have nice natural hair but if you don't have it you have to buy it. That was a man speaking to the New York Times about how these days it is now less and less embarrassing for men to wear a what? Is that a wig or a toupee? Yeah, toupee, yes, very good. Toupees are not embarrassing anymore. The stigma of artificial hair replacement is gone. It's no longer shameful or embarrassing to be bald. Those things are all true, not just things my therapist told me to say. The shift in attitude toward toupees is thanks to TikTok, particularly clips from

a woman who's called the toupee queen. She shows off her clients getting surprisingly good looking hair pieces. Cause if you're going to shell out a thousand bucks for a custom made natural looking toupee, you're going to want to make sure there's a video on the internet letting everybody know it's a complete fake. I also want men to be more confident about it, because I know white men, y'all get weird about baldness because you think just black men can be hot and bald, but no. But they're so hot.

They really are. Listen, my boyfriend is half white, half Asian, so I got a little Keanu. But he's bald, so he looked like Neil when he came out of the duck store. Like, get your bald head, baby. I like to rub it. Before we go further, did you say duck sauce? I did say duck sauce.

This is the thing. These things cost $1,000. You can get $1,000 to pay, and you can get someone literally called the toupee queen to put it on, but then you have to trust men to take care of them. Right. Yes, we won't. Within a week that thing's going to look like a dog that's been dead for a year. Yes, right.

And then they call her up like, I don't know what happened. I just showered it in and put on a football helmet and slept in the helmet and then I played rugby and stuff and now it looks like crap Yeah, I do like the vision of more men sleeping in do rags though Get y'all some bonnets. All right, Shannon. Here is your last quote somebody a few years ago predicting his own obituary born 1948 died A few years ago, predicting his own obituary. Born 1948, died whenever. He bit the head off a bat. Well that man died this week, but most obits saved the bat biting for the second paragraph.

Who was it? The great Ozzy Osborne. The great Ozzy Osborne went to his reward this week at the age of 76. An amazing cultural figure. He basically invented heavy metal as we know it. He and his band, Black Sabbath, personally terrified thousands of parents in the 1970s as they corrupted their children. And then they mortified thousands of children in the 90s who had to watch their parents

head bang to black Sabbath. But even Ozzy knew the one thing everybody focuses on is that one time he bit the head off a bat on stage, which is so unfair to him, he also bit the head off a dove. I know as a gesture of peace. It does, yes. Are these doves and bats in like a purse They're part of the entourage This guy had an amazing rock and roll life

He got banned for years from performing in San Antonio because he urinated on the Alamo He he also sure plenty of people did when they were fighting those four days. I know, true. I mean, why hold it against him? Yeah, there was no bathroom back then. 1840 something. He was an inspiration to me because I drink a lot and then when I think about quitting, I would look at him and be like, I might.

Yeah. Yeah, how old was he? 76? He was 76, which is older than a lot of people, including himself, but he'd ever get given his lifestyle. But this is the crazy thing. He not only basically invented heavy metal, more or less, he also invented reality TV because the MTV show The Osbournes from the early 2000s was the first show that realized

the possibilities of just having cameras follow famous weirdos around all day. He inspired an entire generation to share with the nation how talentless your kids are. Yes. Yes. And Will Smith, there we're on that train. Don't be ashamed. So he got a couple of ducks. Bill, how did Shannon do in our quiz?

Can't do any better than three in a row. Shannon, you're great. Thank you, guys. Take care, Shannon. Thank you. All right, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Peter, an intern at an elite Manhattan law firm made a big impression during her first week on the job when she did what?

She solved an unsolvable case. No. She ate an uneatable burrito. No, she kind of had... She dreamed an uneatable burrito. No, she kind of had a hint. She dreamed an impossible dream. Exactly. What's a good hint?

No, I will give you a hint. When I said she made a big impression, I meant a dental impression. She bit one of her bosses. She bit 10 of her colleagues. What? Now, it can be a big law firm, big law, it's a big deal, it can be hard to stand out as a summer intern,

so one woman made sure she will never be forgotten after she bit ten people before she was finally fired. She bit ten people. How did she get to ten? Does the company have a nine free bite policy? I think I've read the courtroom drama she's written about this. It's called You Can't Handle the Tooth. According to the law business blog that reported it, she bit people, quote, not in an aggressive

we're beefing way, but more of a faux quirky manic pixie dream girl crossed with the Donner Party vibe." You'd be mad if you were one of the first nine where she didn't get fired. Was the tenth like the boss or something? I don't know. Maybe it was just the round number. Or a judge. There was definitely like an eleventh person who was like, yeah, here's someone's biting people in here. Nah, nah, man, you missed it.

You missed it. we just fired her. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.

Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Coming up, our Bluff the Listener game is just like riding a bike, call one, triple, eight, wait, wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPPR. Clear, NPR isn't going anywhere, but we do need your support. We hope you'll give today to keep rigorous, independent, and irreplaceable news coverage available to everyone free of charge.

Make your gift at donate.npr.org. And thank you. This summer on Planet Money Summer School, we're learning about political economy. We're getting into the nitty gritty of what government does with things like trade, taxes, immigration, and healthcare. So politics and economics, which are taught separately, they shouldn't be separated at all. I think you have to understand one to really appreciate the other.

So what is the right amount of government in our lives? Tune into Planet Money Summer School from NPR, wherever you get your podcasts. As AI permeates every aspect of our lives, who are the people behind this huge inflection point? What keeps them up at night? I fear that what it means to be human may suddenly not be our own. We've got a special series from NPR's TED Radio Hour. It's called The Prophets of Technology.

What they got right, wrong, and where these pioneers think we're headed next. Listen to the TED Radio Hour wherever you get your podcasts. ["The New York Times"] From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, who you're playing this week with Peter Gross, Adam Burke, and Joelle Nicole Johnson.

And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff Felicitor game. Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to play our game in the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page, at Wait, Wait, NPR.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Serenity, and I'm calling from Arlington, Virginia. Hey, Serenity, what do you do there in Arlington? So right now, I'm actually working at Salon Monte, and that is a salon from Monte Durham from, say, Yes to the Dress. Oh, wow.

You might have heard of that show. I have heard of that show. So you're sort of making people look beautiful. No, no, no, I don't do that. I just text sort of making people look beautiful. No, no, no. I don't do that. I just tuck them in and tuck them out. Oh, I see. And get them drinks and stuff.

Yeah, okay. That's also good. Well, welcome to the show, Serenity. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Serenity's topic? A Tour de la Tour de France. Ah, the Tour de France, a sport for athletes who don't realize that if you want a yellow jersey, you can just buy one.

But this week we learned something new about that famous and age-old race. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the weight-weighter of your choice and your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I'm ready. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's hear first from Adam Burke. While most people may be familiar with the Meilleur Jaune or the Yellow Jersey, which signifies the winner of each stage of the Tour de France, fewer may know about the L'Anton Rouge, a dubious distinction given to that rider which managed to bring up the rear of the pack in the famous bike race. While many riders over the years have decided that any distinction is better than none and tried to nab that spot, few have been as dedicated as Yves Perrault, who not only has finished dead last in each stage

for a record-breaking four times, but has launched both a society and restaurant dedicated to the art of being the worst in your field. At my Lantons Rouge Bistro in Lyon, Yves explained, you can dine on what is universally regarded as the worst cuisine in the region while listening to truly the most terrible chansons and musicians I could find. Perot has taken his penchant for failure worldwide, launching the Société Internationale du L'Anton Rouge, which invites people from all walks of life

around the globe to stake their claim as being the absolute crappiest in their chosen disciplines. We of course have a competition for the worst of the worst, Piro explains, and the most poorly written application also wins a prize. The four-time winner of the Lantern Rouge Rouge for the Worst Racer is inspired to create an entire culture around being bad at things. Your next bicycle spiel comes from J.L. Nicole Johnson. If you Google the Tour de France, a few questions pop up. Has there ever been a black rider?

Once. Do they pee on themselves while riding? Yeah. Do the riders consume alcohol during the race? Sometimes. The last question sparked the interest of Jolie Laurent. Every year they would cheer on the riders of the Tour de France at the finish line.

The French riders would always celebrate with a glass of red wine, which got Jolie to thinking, why should they have to wait till the end of the party? So Yvret d'Energie or drunk energy was born. Yvret d'Energie is a red wine based energy drink. That's right, they gentrify for a loco. Every French person knows that the only bad thing about red wine is that it makes you sleepy. But not Yves Royde Energy. Two Tour de France teams now swear by the drink. According to one writer, red wine is good enough for a pregnant woman,

it's good enough for an athlete biking all over France. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. In France, a fabulous, popular new energy drink based on red wine, your last tale from the tour comes from Peter Gross. Patrick Donkhois and Joël Gautier have the most unique jobs at the Tour de France. It's become tradition for Frenchmen who live along the 2075 mile route to take out time from their busy schedule of surrendering to their mistresses to mark the streets with graffiti.

So tour organizers hired Patrick and Joelle to cover up said graffiti. What specific type of graffiti is the most common? Well, a French journalist described the scene on the track this way, As the van begins its descent, the penis in all its myriad forms springs up as far as the eye can see. Every July these two men grab their paintbrushes and go about dismembering the course, sometimes merely altering the images for expediency. Explaining their process to a local paper, they said we are adding feats to hide the genitals, so we have made an owl.

No one knows why they went with owls when they had so many other birds at their disposal. Cockatiels? Cockatoos? Besides, everyone knows owls are hooters, which is a totally different type of her feeding. graffiti. All right, so here are your choices from Adam Burke, one of the preeminent winners of the Lantern Rouge, meaning the worst racer has opened both the restaurant and now a contest, from Joel Nicole Johnson, a new energy junk popular with the riders based of course on fine French red wine, or from Peter Gross that there are two men

whose real job it is to travel the course before the racers get there and remove or alter the rude graffiti. Which of these is the real story from the Tour de France? I really think it's the third one. You think it's Peter's story of covering up the graffiti. All right. Yes.

Well, you've chosen Peter's story. We spoke to a reporter who actually covers the race to bring you the real story. His job is the Epheser de Zizi, which literally translates as the penis eraser. That was local France editor Emma Pearson talking about the penis repainter of the Tour de France. Congratulations, Serenity. You got it right. You earned a point for Peter Gross.

And you've won our prize. The voice of your choice from our show on your voicemail. Congratulations and well done. Thank you. My 16-year-old son will be really proud of this. I'm sure he will. Thank you so much for calling and playing, Serenity. Take care.

Thank you, thank you. And now the game you call not my job. Some hip musicians seem to come out of nowhere, but Leve, our guest today, was born to it. Growing up in Iceland, she soloed on cello with the Icelandic Symphony at the age of 15, and she was the youngest ever competitor on Iceland's Got Talent. Now, she's only 26 years old, but she's already won a Grammy, and she'll be touring arenas around the country this fall in support of her new album, A Matter of Time, which drops next month.

Leve, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you for having me. I have been listening to your music all week getting ready for this. I am entranced and amazed and quite don't know how to describe it. And apparently this is a thing. People keep saying you're a jazz musician or you're a pop musician or you're a classical pop jazz musician. What do you say? I'm Levee

That's all you need to know she's Levee that's it that's all you you grew up I Understand as a as a musician from very young age your mother plays violin with the Icelandic Symphony So she had she had you like playing violin, cello, piano from an early age, right? Oh yeah, I had the whole package. She's from China, so it was kind of, you know, inevitable upbringing, but I learned cello and piano growing up, and definitely had to practice every day. Did you ever rebel at all? Did you ever like, I don't want to practice and want to go outside? I think this new album might be my first act of rebellion.

Really? How so? I feel like I just, I don't know. There are a couple of swear words in there. Ooh. Alright, she literally just covered her mouth because she said swear words. Is there a song called I don't want to practice anymore? I feel like for the first time I refuse to really, truly refuse to be boxed in with this album.

So I just let my heart. I broke the rules. You broke the rules. Absolutely. You're reaching out. You were not trained, although your voice is astonishing and reminds me of the great singers of all time, but you were not trained as a singer.

In fact, I read that you said you did a singing competition as a kid and the judge said you sounded like a divorced 40-year-old. Yeah. She did, yeah. I mean, bless her. That was definitely meant to be a compliment, but I... Was it? I mean, you were like, oh, you're so worldly.

You've been around. I think she was trying to say that I had... I've always had a very deep voice. Right. Since I was quite young. I've grown into it now, I think. Right. I was odd, and I am odd. I think it worked out for the better. Right. I was quite young. I've grown into it now, I think. Right. I was odd, and I am odd. I think it worked out for the better. Right. Okay. Yeah. Do you, actually, that's kind of interesting. Do you think yourself as an odd person? Less and less, or rather, I just own it now. But

yeah, I mean, that was like, back then, especially, I was a was a 13 year old girl who was only interested in seeing songs from the Great American Songbook in Iceland. Yeah. Because your music is so redolent of like classic American song, I was delighted to listen to a duet you did with Barbra Streisand. Our audience is like, whoa, really? I am also like, whoa, really? I am also like, whoa, really? It's shocking.

So I'm assuming, just given your background and your training and your interest, you knew who Barbra Streisand was. I thought my manager was pranking me. Really? Yeah, because it just seemed so far-sought. I thought, I was like, huh, this is a funny joke. Like, you got me. But it was true.

And how did you find the great Barbara? I mean, I feel like I've never not known Barbara. Yeah. Yeah. I have to ask you about your creative director, who is your identical twin sister, which is delightful. You must have been tempted to try the thing that everybody assumes identical twins do all the time, which is swap in for each other.

Like maybe you're tired, maybe you've done the concert, maybe you don't want to go meet the fans, as you're obligated to do. Can you send out her and she'll do it? Well, they all know who she is and they all want to meet her too. It doesn't help. Then it's like even when I go out on my own it's like where's where's you Nia so yeah that hasn't we did swap one time. What happened what was the occasion? It's a secret. So wait a minute it's a secret you can't tell me does that mean like there's somebody who thought they had a date with you but it was really you Nia or there's a secret, you can't tell me, does that mean like, there's somebody who thought they had a date with you but it was really Younyeh, or there's a music video in which we think we're watching you but it's really Younyeh?

Um... No, that's not it. No to those two, but it's something else really good. I don't think I can Google you today. Are we talking to Younia right now? I don't have her doing press yet. No. That might become necessary when you get to the next level.

I know, we could do a US and Europe tour at the same time. Is there a way, if we were in a situation where we didn't know if we were talking to you or your twin sister Younia, is there a way to tell apart just like there's something about her that's very different than you. Well, I sing I guess you could force me to sing really Agree in international relations So you could probably ask her about some foreign policy and she'd be able to answer and I would kind of stare at you blankly I think you would just start singing. Well, Leve, we are so delighted to talk to you and we have asked you here today to play

a game and we're calling it, Why Is It Still So Light Out? Your new record coming out soon is called A Matter of Time. So we thought we'd ask you about a controversial matter of time daylight savings time answer two to three questions correctly you will win our prize for one of our listeners my daylight savings knowledge is it's we don't really do that okay all right during summer because the Sun just doesn't set. All right. Bill, who is Lévé playing for?

Brandon Green of Seattle, Washington. All right. You ready to go? Here's your first question. The idea of daylight savings time was first suggested by Benjamin Franklin. He told the French that they could save money on candles in the evening if they just got up earlier in the morning. But the idea didn't catch on in France for a few reasons, including what? A, it was defeated by the French candle lobby. B, the

French wanted it to get dark early for easier sneaking to their mistress's is Holmes or C. Ben Franklin was just kidding. You're gonna go with B. You're gonna go with B that they wanted to sneak over to see their mistresses. Yes, I don't, I don't, yes, yeah. I'm afraid it was C. Ben Franklin was just kidding. It was a joke. Who would ever do a silly thing like that? Get up earlier than you had to. Come on now. All right, you still have two chances. This is not a problem. Here's your next question. Daylight Savings Time was introduced in America during World War I, but it wasn't very popular as is evidenced by what happening after the war. A, Timex introduced their daylight savings proof clock, which couldn't be turned back

or forward. B, the state of Connecticut made it a crime to turn your clocks back. Or C, a bill introduced in Congress that would have imposed a national bedtime of 8 p.m. I'm going to go with B again. And this time you're right. It was. You stayed in Connecticut, made it illegal. If you were caught in Connecticut with a clock showing anything but Eastern Standard Time, you could spend 10 days in jail.

All right. You have one last question, and I'm optimistic because it's about your home. Iceland does not have daylight savings time, as I'm sure you know. And the reason is, in that 1994, two astronomers from the University of Iceland convinced the government to abolish it. What was their primary argument? A, the ancient Vikings who founded the nation believed sleeping late was an affront to Odin. B, it was bad for Icelandic horses

who got agitated when all of their meals suddenly came an hour earlier. Or C. It is just so annoying. Between B and C. Yes. We take our horses very seriously. I'm aware. So I could see any inconveniencing their food schedules. I could see that being an issue. But also it being just so annoying is also very Icelandic.

I've said it. I want to say, I'm gonna say C. You're right again, Leve. Bill, how did Leve do in our quiz? Well, she's a winner, of course. She's from a long way from here. Congratulations. There you go. Congratulations. Leve, I've got to say, I've been enjoying listening to your musical week. It was even more fun to talk to you.

Thank you so much for joining us. Leve is a Grammy Award winner who's about to start touring behind her new album, A Matter of Time. That drops August 22nd. Leve, thank you so much for being on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. What a pleasure. Good luck with the tour. Bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. In just a minute, when over-caffeinated still isn't caffeinated enough, that's in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

Grab a snack, make the bed, check your mail, or catch up on the latest news with the NPR News Now podcast. At Planet Money, we know that economic jargon can sometimes feel like speaking another Now to the NPR. We help you translate the economy so you can understand the world wherever you get your podcasts. The Fantastic Four are back again in a new movie and it's an eye-popping good time. We've seen the story before, but this time the vibe is different. It's brighter, set in a retro future with flying cars. Plus, it stars Pedro Pascal and works for casual viewers and nerds alike. We'll tell you why on Pop Culture Happy Hour.

Listen on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. From NPR on WBEZ Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Peter Gross, and Adam Burke. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segel. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. In just a minute, a poetic form beloved by old and really old alike.

It's our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call's our Lestner-Lemmrich challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel though, some more questions for you from the week's news. Adam, a Harvard astronomy professor says that this fall, what will be arriving near the Earth? Oh, crap. Is it going to...

Listen, I know this isn't my question, but is it an asteroid? No. Oh, I was hoping it was. That's not what he thinks it is anyway. He says it's something else. He says it's what? Can I get a clue? No, we want to see if the passengers are really little in green. Oh, wait, what? This Harvard professor says that we are going to be visited by what? By a spaceship. An alien spaceship. That's the answer. I think the word you're looking for is former Harvard professor. Well, no. Isn't that what you think.

Yeah. Harvard's negotiating with the Trump administration, like, how about if we just get rid of that guy? And then Trump's like, he's the only one I like, actually. I like this guy. Something about him. At the beginning of this month, NASA detected an object from outside the solar system entering

into the solar system and heading toward the sun. This is rather rare. And NASA says it's a comet, but Professor Avi Loeb of Harvard says it's probably a spaceship based on its size and its odd trajectory. His work is a breakthrough academic discovery that proves maybe tenure is not a good thing. I love that that's his answer to most questions. Hey what's this? Ah, probably. Well here's the funny thing. This is the same guy who three years ago insisted another strange object was also a spacecraft and it

wasn't. But it's good because he can reuse all those welcome to earth decorations he bought the first time. Adam the hot new trend in dating is going on a first date and then doing what as quickly as possible? Getting a divorce? Close enough. Breaking up with him. It's breaking up? Breaking up, yeah. It's called speed dumping.

And let me just say I'm really glad that's what speed dumping means. According to the Wall Street Journal, young people today have decided that if you don't enjoy a first date or even a second, you have an ethical obligation to let the other person know immediately. So you quickly send a text saying, hey, they're not right for you, rather than doing what normal people do, moving to a new neighborhood,

so you never run into them again. My matchmaker friend, shout out to matchmaker Maria, she says, oh, okay, we got some matchmaker Maria pants in the, she says you got to give it three dates. So yeah, we actually had a matchmaker on the show who said the same thing. And do you know the logic behind that? What does matchmaker Maria say? She just says the affection and everything can grow. So if you're not initially attracted, it can grow by the third date. And if by the third date it doesn't, dump they ass. Yeah.

And what does matchmaker Maria, or perhaps you, think about ghosting, which is the typical thing they're trying to avoid? I mean, I get it. Yeah? I have never ghosted. No. But I've been ghosted.

Really? And listen. Listen. Ooh. Have y'all ever ghosted? Wait, no, y'all aren't. No. Wait, what does that mean? I mean-

In a position to? No. We look like we've haunted people. Or was the implication that we're so desperate that we would never turn someone down? No, it was just that y'all old. Yeah, yeah. In our day, you would always send like a perfumed note via a violin. Noted by a... Yeah, yes. By a well-known... Pigeon. Fargo. Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to

listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, or you can catch us on the road. We'll be at Tanglewood in western Massachusetts on August 28th, and in St. Louis on September 18th. For tickets and information to all of our live shows, just go to nprpresents.org. And if you want all that information again, but in a cool newsletter delivered straight to your email, sign up for our new newsletter at waitwait.npr.org.

newsletter. Hi, you're on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Maria from Council Bluffs, Iowa. Hey Maria, how are you? I'm doing well, how are you guys? We're fine. I'm really just going to indulge in a stereotype and say you sound like a chipper midwesterner. Very much so, thank you. You're from Council Bluffs. What do you do there? I am a community and partner support representative for the Food Bake for the Heartland. Of course you are. You know, don't even make her guess, she wins. Yeah, you win.

Maria, it is a pleasure to talk to you. You're here to play the game we call the Listener Limerick Challenge. Bill Curtis is going to read three news-related limericks for you, but he's not going to finish them. Fill in that last word or phrase two times out of three, and you'll win our prize, the voice of anyone you might like. Here we go. Here is your first limerick. This coffee trends big and then tuck it.

Of that with a straw we can suck it. We ordered a size that's a little unwise. Our coffee is served in a... bucket. Yes, bucket! Yes, indeed. Coffee shops around the country are selling iced lattes served in an actual bucket. It's the first coffee you're supposed to enjoy by dumping it over your own head. It makes sense with all the artisan cafes out there doing coffee. You've got to make your drink stand out. Why strive for the best coffee when you can just offer the most coffee? Nothing worse than having a bucket with your name misspelled on it. Nothing worse. All right, here's your next limerick. At the office, nobody looks

cuddly. Outside people on Zoom log in smugly. That recycled hair gives bad skin and gross hair at the office we workers look You say that with har as if you would never think that of anyone According to the according to the Guardian office air makes you ugly so remote workers. What's your excuse? Office air makes you ugly. So remote workers, what's your excuse? Apparently office air, that dry, overly conditioned, unventilated air that's in office buildings causes acne, limp hair, dry skin. So that's not just the ID badge you got

in your first day at work. It's evidence you weren't always like this. What if you work in a makeup factory? Or a place that- Makeup factory? Yeah. Where do they make makeup? At a magical elf house? I just thought you're thinking of the Max store and it's like the makeup factory. I don't know.

I've never been in one. It's too scary. It's become a thing online with one influencer saying, quote, okay, we all know what boyfriend air is, but can we talk about office air? Sorry, do we all know what boyfriend air is? I don't. I do not know. Have you heard of boyfriend air?

Like the stale air in a... Boyfriend. I'm assuming. ...messy boyfriend's house. Yeah. Yeah, that's my guess. Isn't a boyfriend air just an illegitimate son. That's two puns, Burke.

You get one more. All right, Maria, this is your last limerick. Since I'm working beyond nine to five, Mercedes is helping me strive. I can still make a deal while helming the wheel. My car lets me zoom while I drive. Yes, drive. If you are driving the latest Mercedes models, you'll be able to use the in-dash screen and camera

to have zoom meetings. Oh. Did they take out the airbag to put in the zoom part? Probably. Probably. Think of the meetings you'll be able to enjoy now that you don't have that excuse. And think of the fun your colleagues will have trying to distract you into having a crash during the meeting.

Whoa, boss, thanks for buying lunch for anybody who gets here within 15 minutes. It's good though, because you could call your boss an a-hole and say, no, I just got cut off. Yeah Can you also like watch movies and not yet Oh, I take that back actually There's now an addition diff completely different story that certain cars will allow you to watch Netflix while you're stopped They say oh, I think you can watch movies while you drive. It's called being every Uber driver I've ever had. Yes, I know. Bill, how did Maria do in our quiz? With a perfect score, Maria is better than us all. Congratulations, you are. You absolutely are. Maria, thank you so

much for calling and playing our games. Thank you guys so much. Bye bye. You want to know what the world is like beyond the surface? NPR feeds that curiosity with stories from real people with real experiences and all the perspectives that come with them. It's our right to be curious and our prerogative to listen. So keep your curiosity alive. Hear the bigger picture every day on NPR. Hey everybody, it's Ian from How To Do Everything. On our show, we attempt to answer your how-to questions.

We don't know how to do anything, so we call experts. Last season, both Tom Hanks and Martha Stewart stopped by to help. Our next season is launching in just a few months, so get us your questions now by emailing howto at npr.org or calling 1-800-424-2935. Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Adam and Peter each have three and Joyelle has one.

Yeah! Okay, Joyelle, that means you are in second place. That means you're going to go first. The clock will start when they begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Pentagon's Inspector General concluded that blank did share classified information over signal. Oh, the dude who did that.

She's not wrong. You're not wrong. That is technically correct. Technically correct, but do you have a name perhaps? Office, maybe? I'm sorry to that man. Pete Hegseth. According to new data, the US has five times more blank cases than this time last year.

Security issues. Measles. This week a driver in Ireland was relieved when he discovered the person he thought he had hit with his car was actually blank. An elk. No. Human dummy filled with ketchup. What? It was a prank of some kind. That's what my parents used to call me. On Wednesday the US ended the use of blank shots containing thimerosal. Vaccine. I'll give it to you. Flu vaccine. This week, a firefighter in Maryland

who parked near a high school baseball field and had his car hit by a stray ball responded by blanking. Did he punch somebody in the face? He did not, Joyo. What he did was he got out the fire hose and he flooded the entire baseball field. Yeah! So the fire department had to issue an apology

after their captain's car was hit by a home run, and he responded by opening up the fire hose and flooding the entire field after their captain's car was hit by a home run and he responded by opening up The fire hose and flooding the entire field Now it's a matter of legends and from now on you know on play-by-play any home run in that field is gonna be folks It's back. It's back. It's back and yes, this one's a field soaker Bill how did joy all do in our quiz one right for two more points for a total of three She is now tied with Peter and Adam. All right.

So arbitrarily, let's pick Adam to go. Good luck. All right, Adam, here we go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a federal appeals court ruled that President Trump's executive order ending blank was unconstitutional. Oh, birthright citizenship.

That's right. According to a new poll, only 23% of Americans think that Israel's actions in blank are justified. Gaza. Right. This week, General Motors predicted that Trump's blanks could cost them $5 billion by the end of the year.

Tariffs. Right. This week, owners of a hotel in Sacramento said they were working with police to discover who stole the blanks from in front of their building. The letters that say hotel? No. Three dozen live peacocks.

On Wednesday, a private space company, Blank, launched two satellites to study space weather. SpaceX? Right. This week, Google released a new AI feature that will let you virtually try on blank. Adultery? No.

Let you virtually try adultery? No. Clothes. As part of a profile of a nudist resort in West Virginia, The Washington Post interviewed a frequent visitor there named blank. Nudie McNudeface. So close.

His actual name is Dewey Butts III. Ha ha ha ha. You might assume that's a gag, but if it is, it started two generations ago. Dewey Butts I, dad, took him aside on his 18th birthday and said, listen, we've got to keep naming our kids Dewey Butts, the first dad, took him aside on his 18th birthday and said, listen, we got to keep naming our kids Dewey Butts until one of them is a nudist. Trust me, it's gonna be hilarious. Bill, how did Adam do in our quiz?

Four right, eight more points. His 11 puts him in the lead. Alright. So even if you got five points, I still wouldn't be winning. Okay. Adam, keep it school. All right. How many then does Peter need to win? Four to the tie. Five to win.

Here we go, Peter. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Texas lawmakers held a hearing over the state's response to deadly blanks. They had deadly floods. They did. In order to restore their federal funding, Blank University agreed to pay the government $200 million. Columbia.

Right. On Tuesday, the Department of Education announced it was resuming interest accumulation for almost all Blanks. Student debt loans. Right. This week, a drug dealer in the UK was arrested after he blanked. He gave drugs away for free. No way. He accidentally texted a full list of his products with prices to a police officer. Yes! He accidentally texted a full list of his products with prices to a police officer. On Wednesday the man caught on camera having an affair at a blank concert said he was considering suing the band.

Wow. Coldplay and wow. This week a former teammate of Tom Brady revealed that to make sure the football was dry and ready to throw, Brady would personally blank the center who was snapping the ball. He would blank the center who was... Yes. Pay off. No, he would powder his butt. Apparently, the player snapping the ball to Brady one day

was so sweaty that the football was getting wet, so Brady took him to the sideline, took his pants off, and put baby powder on his butt. I guess we all just met Dewey Butts the fourth. Oh man, Giselle's really missing out. It's too bad they're not still married. Bill did Peter do well enough to win. Peter's like a twin. He got four right, Edmore points, 11 makes you tied. Oh, there you go. Yeah. We got him. Yeah. Just a minute. We're going to ask our panelists to predict now

that toupees are cool. What will be the next beauty trend for men? But first, let me tell you. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions Doug Berman Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks.

Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shayna Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studabaker Theater. BJ Liedemann composed our theme, our programs produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is our toupee queen. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical direction is from Lorna White, our CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse, our senior producer is Ian Chilag, and the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me. That's Mike Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next hot male beauty trend? Adam Burke. It's an inner beauty trend. It's called going to friggin' therapy. Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

It's like a mommy makeover, but it's called a daddy do better. When you become a dad, you have to go to freaking therapy All right, and Peter gross all men will follow in the footsteps of Tom Brady Center and powder their butts and go to freaking And if any of that happens, panel, we all go to freaking therapy. Thank you Bill Curtis, thanks Oscar Drew, Adam Burke, Raeanne Nicole Johnson, Peter Gross, thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theatre, and all of you wherever you might be listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week from Salt Lake City. This is NPR.

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