Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Lena Waithe

Episode Date: February 10, 2024

This week, A Thousand and One producer and Emmy winner Lena Waithe joins panelists Adam Burke, Negin Farsad, and Maz Jobrani to talk Blockbuster, Jennifer Aniston, and Guy Fieri. Hate free content? Try a subscription to Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!+. Your subscription supports public radio and unlocks fun bonus episodes along with sponsor-free listening. Learn more at https://plus.npr.org/waitwaitLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

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Are you ready for some foot bill? I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Great to be with you. We really do have a great show for you today. We want to get to it, but first I have to get something out of the way. Later on, we are going to be talking to the Emmy-winning writer, actor, and producer Lena Waithe. And as you know, we usually come up with a game for our special guests based on some silly pun. And I just want to let you all know right now that we are not going to be making her play a game called Waithe, Waithe, Don't Tell Me.

her play a game called Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Because it is true, some things are even beneath us. But, we want to find out what your standards are, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Ben. I'm calling from Woburn, Massachusetts. Woburn? I know Woburn. What do you do there? I work for a condom manufacturer. Do you now?

I'm sure you tell people you are the product tester, but what do you really do for that? tell people you are the product tester, but what do you really do for them? I work in the finance department, which gives me a lot of time to listen to Wait, Wait while I do my work and try not to get distracted by the posters and product around me. Right, yes, I imagine. Well, welcome to the show, Ben. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a comedian and the host of the podcast, Fake the Nation. And you can read about her misadventures and psychedelics right now in Afar magazine.

It's Nagin Farsad. Hello. Hi. Hi. Next, he's a comedian whose second album, Weaponized Empathy, will be released through A Special Thing Records on February 23rd at Chicago's own Adam Burke. Hi. Hi, Adam.

Hi, Ben. Ben, can I just say, as a condo manufacturer, can I just say how much I appreciated the fact that you broke off when you told us what you were doing? And a comedian performing stand-up at Stand Up Live in Phoenix, March 8th and 9th for his full tour schedule. Go to mozjobrani.com. That's right, it's Moz Jobrani.

Hi, Ben. No holes. So, Ben, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill? This time, Bill Curtis, of course, right here, is going to recreate for you three quotations we found in the week's news. Your job, simply identify or explain two of them.

Do that, you will win our prize, the voice of your choice for your voicemail. You ready to go? Boy, I hope so. Yeah, me too. Ben, here is your first quote. You can ask me who won, and I won't even know. But I'll know how many times Taylor Swift was shown on TV.

That was a woman talking to the New York Times. She is looking forward to watching what big event this weekend for the very first time? Would that be the Super Bowl? It would be, Ben, yes, the Super Bowl. Super Bowl Sunday, this weekend. We are counting down the hours until we find out that that whole Taylor Swift Travis Kelsey thing was just an elaborate setup to a Doritos commercial This is all a little insulting to Taylor I think you know what I mean well because

They do in her ears tour. They didn't suddenly cut to him in the audience. You know what I mean? Like, it's as big a deal that he's a fan of hers than she's a fan of his, right? Right. But he couldn't afford the tickets, that's why. That's right. Those were expensive tickets. He dressed up as a backup dancer.

That's the only way he could get in. And did you know, this is true, that all the sports books, which are, of course, legal now, they're taking all kinds of Taylor Swift-related bets, like what she'll wear to the game, what color top, how many times she'll be on camera, if she and Kelsey will kiss on the field after the game. And the money that you might win from these bets will help you deal with the fact that you spent a Sunday counting how many times some woman kissed her boyfriend. I'm not a huge gambler. I've got $4,000 on her making a touchdown. Is that?

Well, if you win, the odds would be great, you know? But it's going to be so odd when, like, in the stadium, the kiss cam is just going to be on one person the entire game. Ben, here we go. Your next quote comes from tech columnist Brian X. Chen talking about his experience with a big new product that Apple just released into the marketplace. I tripped over a stool.

What new product out this week was he trying out? Oh, it's the headset thing whose name I don't know. I just want you to know that actually I have written in front of me for the answer, headset thing. So you got it. Congratulations. Technically, it's the Apple Vision Pro, which goes for

$3,500 and it's finally out. It's a lot like other VR headsets, but with this one it's so ingenious you can actually see the world around you while you look at all the virtual screens that seem to be in front of you. So while you're working or watching a video, you can also take in everyone around you who's pointing at you and shaking their heads. So you can

actually see your children as you're missing their childhood. Exactly right. You can notice them in the corner. So all those annoying windows that we had trouble closing before are now just before our eyes. They're floating in the air in front of you. You're like, close, close, close. Do you talk to it? How does it? No, this is very weird.

This is very weird. The way you manipulate the images or the screens or whatever you want to call them is by moving your hands. You do gestures. the images or the screens or the whatever you want to call them is by moving your hands. You do gestures. And what this means is that the reviews of the product have actually been very positive by the people who tried it out. The reviews of the people using them, standing there waving their hands around like idiots, pretty negative. So, for example, this is true. A Boston Celtics fan was at the front row of a Celtics game wearing one of these things, waving his hands around at something only he could see.

And as you can imagine, Boston sports fans treated him with the respect and grace they are known for. Also, we should have seen this coming. How so? Well, because one thing that we as a society can all agree upon is that we all hate mimes. And this thing is just turning us into French performance artists. Yeah. Just swatting things.

Trying to get out of a box. But I also, like, I saw some video of what was in the augmented reality. And I was expecting to see, like, a jungle and glitter and just, like, fantastical things. And it was, like, this woman. She was making just like fantastical things. And it was like this woman, she was making like a stew and she just put a timer in her augmented reality. So her augmented reality had a timer. And I was like, that is, I want my money back. All right, Ben, Here is your last quote.

It's like taking a happy Advil. That was a woman in L.A. She's part of this trend of busy professionals who are all taking what now to get them through their stressful days? I genuinely don't have even the foggiest idea. All right, I'll give you a hint. If you were to take this,

you'd feel far more like a fun guy. Fun guy? Mushrooms? Yes, magic mushrooms. Psychedelic mushrooms. According to the Wall Street Journal, shrooms are the new drug of choice for people in high-powered jobs, especially women who are looking to take the edge off. It really explains Nikki Haley's new campaign slogan, Whoa. Now, Nagin. Yes. You did this.

You went on a shroom retreat for these people. What a snitch you are, Peter. What a narc. Yeah, I know. Nagin just told me secretly by writing about it in a national magazine. So that's how I got the word. Yeah. It's funny because, so I went to a mushroom retreat and we did boatloads of mushrooms.

And yeah, I went to other universes. And I'm also like super zen now. I sorted it all out and it worked. So that's why I'm so great. That's awesome. I knew there was a reason. I mean, yes, people are getting their drugs at places like, quote, the Sacred House of Eden. That's in Denver. And they're working with coaches who provide a, quote, safe and supportive container so people can invite Epiphany, unquote. It really makes you nostalgic for like a sketchy guy selling you baggies out of a van, doesn't it?

I invited Epiphany at a bachelor party once, but she's getting off in five minutes. I understand. Bill, how did Ben do in our quiz? Perfect score like a true Trojan. Nice. Thank you so much for playing. Take care.

Thank you for having me, guys. Bye-bye. Bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Maz, next week, of course, is Valentine's Day, but some people believe that the day before Valentine's Day, February 13th, is the traditional night for men to take whom out to dinner? Their wives.

No, that's the 14th. Who do they take out on the 13th? Themselves. No. Their girlfriends? Yes. Specifically. Oh, no.

More to the point, their mistresses. Ah, the gumas, they, more to the point, they're mistresses. Ah, the gommas, they say. The gommas, they say. Oh, gommas wouldn't have any idea what you're talking about. Not at all, not at all. Many restaurant staffers say that it is true. Mistress night is real. Men will show up with another woman on the 13th, that's Mistress Day,

before coming back with their wives on the 13th, that's Mistress Day, before coming back with their wives on the 14th. It's not cheating. It's just a rehearsal, right? Yeah. But make sure, guys, when your wife, like, orders the special, right, don't say, oh, don't. We had it last night. It gave us gas.

Ruin the meal. It's funny to me that they would go to the same restaurant. Well, yeah. Well, here's the thing. You remember me from last night. No, apparently. Why is it you can commit to the restaurant? Oh, you'd never go anywhere else.

You know how I am. I'm very loyal. I'm a very loyal guy. Oh, at this restaurant, I'd never even have a dish on the side, let alone. Cheating and lying is all you ever do. Oh, cheating and lying is all you ever do. You've been dragging me down, tired of being a fool. Coming up, our panelists double down in our Bluff the Listener game.

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. At the Planet Money podcast, we talk to anyone who can help us understand the economy. Fortune tellers, tango dancers. Obscure government bureaucrats. Oh, the obscure ones are the best. Totally. And of course, we talked to the smartest

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up. Listen to the 1A podcast from WAMU and NPR. Instead of scrolling mindlessly, engage mindfully with the NPR app. With a mix of on-demand news, stories from this station, and your favorite podcast, you can relax without shutting off your brain. Download the NPR app today. Hey everybody, it's Peter Sagal. You know when you see a street musician, or maybe like a juggler, or how about one of those terrific acts with adorable little dogs, you know? And after it's all over, the performer walks around the crowd with his hat, collecting tips. That's charming, right? Well, imagine I'm with my troupe of trained Jack Russell Terriers as I pass my hat

and say, we're trying really hard to get 401 new Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus supporters in the month of February. And to make this plea a little tastier, we're going to grant you some extra fun episodes where I give you an audio tour of some of the most delicious things to eat in Chicago, none of which are deep dish pizza. And come on, my notional dogs are adorable, aren't they? Head to plus.npr.org and sign up for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus to hear the most mouthwatering show on public radio today. Isn't that right, Alfie? Irf! show on public radio today. Isn't that right, Alfie? Irf! From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Maz Jobrani, Adam Burke, and Nagin Farsad. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois,

Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it is time for the game in which you must tell truth in fiction. Hi, you are on. Wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Janet Allen, and I am calling in from South Paris, Maine. South Paris, Maine. I am known for professing to know all the places our listeners call from. I have no idea where that is. Where is it? Well, we're located in the Western Foothills. The Western Foothills.

What do you do there? I am a school librarian at Oxford Hills Middle School. Oh, wow. I was about to say, remember when being a school librarian was dull? Wasn't that great? Well, Janet, welcome to our show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Janet's topic? Rules are for suckers. No, we live in a society based on time-tested rules and standards, but you know what? That is boring.

This week, we read three stories about some people just throwing aside all restraint, doing what feels right, and seeing what happens. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you will win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to go? Yes. All right.

First, let's hear from Maz Jobrani. One could argue that the most recent Olympic Games have lost their juge, their oomph, their, como se dice, excitement. Enter the Enhanced Games. The Enhanced Games is the brainchild of businessman Aaron D'Souza and his team of venture capitalists whose actual motto is sports can be safer without drug testing. Yes, the Enhanced Games is a pro-doping sporting competition that encourages athletes to take drugs. Tired of waiting a full 10 seconds to watch someone sprint 100 meters? Want to see them do it in five seconds? Then the enhanced games is for you. Athletes at the enhanced games

will be under no obligation to declare any substances they've taken. So if the athlete you're rooting for wins the race and keeps running straight out of the stadium, you can assume they're on Coke. We can only imagine what the Russian delegation

is thinking right now. Finally, a competition that makes it fair to cheat. Yay! The enhanced games in which all the competitors are allowed to take whatever they want. Your next story of a rule renovation comes from Nagin Farsad. Oregon is known for having Portland inside of it, but it's also known for the polar opposite of that, a thriving libertarian community and robust militias.

Vocal among them is the Libertarian Dental Association based in Hermiton, Oregon, where you find the Venn diagram of libertarians who believe in dentistry but also reject regulations. Their laissez-faire about toothbrushing doctrine, like why would you brush at night and then again in the morning? It's mainstream dental ideology intervening to make more money for big toothbrush. Your mouth is being rigged. And guess what? Candy can play a role in gum health. You don't need to floss when you can use the adhesive qualities of Sour Patch Kids to get gunk out of your teeth cracks. The libertarian dentists of Hermiton definitely promise a non-interventionist free trade approach to your pearly whites. But one thing they don't promise,

healthy teeth. Please note, they don't accept insurance, but you can pay with Bitcoin, gold bars, or unmarked weapons. Unlicensed dentists who are doing it the way they want. Your last story of commandeering commandments comes from Adam Burke. We've all heard of the five-second rule that says a cookie, PBJ, or flank steak dropped on the ground will be fine to consume as long as one does so before the aforementioned time elapses. Well, such strictures have not only been debunked by science, but also by the members of the Six Second Club, a devil-may-care band of gourmands dedicated to flying in the face of your mother's consternation by regularly

eating food that's hit the dirt for as much as six seconds or more. We at the Six Second Club believe the world has become altogether too sanitary, and it takes a little bit of grit to make the pearl. I also think it adds a certain je ne sais quoi flavor-wise. Other members are purely in it for the thrill. I can't afford to go skydiving or mountain climbing, so I get my kicks by seeing if I can survive a couple of rounds with some well-marinated carpet meat. The group has even opened their own restaurant, the group has even opened their own restaurant floor to table

and we're told it's really, really, really, really, really easy to get a reservation alright, these are the stories of people flouting the rules only one of them is true is it from Maz Jobrani, the enhanced games where athletes can juice with anything they want, from Nagin Farsad, a libertarian band of dentists

who say, you know, rules are for suckers, or from Adam Burke, the six-second club who don't believe in the five-second rule about dropping food on the floor. Which of these is the real story of Rule Breakers in the news? I am going to say the last story. You're going to say the last story? Yeah.

Okay. That's great. No, she's a librarian. All right. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone who is actually deeply involved in this venture. We've had thousands of athletes reach out to us, and everyone is so excited about the potential to break world records openly and safely.

That was Dr. Aaron D'Souza, the president of the Enhanced Games, telling us all about the new and improved sporting event. I'm so sorry, Janet, but Maz had the real answer. But you did earn a point for Adam for his brilliant and I think convincing idea. Thank you for your work. Thank you so much for playing, Janet.

Thank you. Take care. I just wanna play by my own rules. And now it's the game we call Not My Job. Lena Waithe grew up here in Chicago and by her own account fell in love with TV as a young woman. That led her to a career in that industry and her becoming the first black woman to win an Emmy

for comedy writing for Masters of None. She's gone on to write, star, and produce many more films and TV shows, including Showtime's The Shy. Her latest film, which she has produced, is called 1001. She joins us now. Lena Waithe, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks for having me. It's great to have you back home virtually anyway.

So we read that you grew up here first in the south side of Chicago. Yeah. So we read that you grew up here first in the south side of Chicago. Yeah, and That when you were a kid you were allowed to watch as much TV as you wanted. Is that right? Yeah, sure single mother household. So and this is for all the parents out there who? Are worried their kids are watching too much TV. It has made you into a Leading giant of the entertainment industry. Am I right? I mean, I don't know.

I get to write TV for a living. That's what I do now. Yeah, okay. Is it true, again, based on what I read, is that you were so eager from such a young age to get into the entertainment industry yourself that you went to work at Best Buy and Blockbuster just to be around like movies and TV. Is that right?

I mean, you say those names with like disdain. No, not at all. No, not, look, I was, there was a time when I was probably providing at least 4% of Blockbuster's annual income. So I'm not in any way dismissing that. Hopefully you didn't have to pay too many late fees. That's exactly what it was now that you mention it.

I really obviously loved movies and I loved watching movies. And that was a big thing too. You know, before iTunes and all that kind of stuff, you had to physically go get the DVD or VHS, depending on how old the movie was, to actually watch something. And it was a big thing.

And then you had to, there was always a responsibility of who was going to return it. Who was going, did you get a movie back? Did you get a movie back yet? But yeah, I just, I loved it. And I was the person that best by that could talk to you about the different, you know,

albums that had just dropped or the movies that were coming out. It was a really, those were some cool gigs. Did you ever, I mean, so you were great. You were like one of the involved employees who could like recommend stuff. Yeah. And like knew what the films were.

Yeah, I was that person. Yeah. Did you ever like judge people for having terrible taste? Oh man, all the time. I'm like, are you sure that's the movie you want? Yeah. So you're like, Pauly Shore, really? Pauly Shore.

That's like, wow. You said it, not me. Okay, yeah. In the episode of Master of None, for which you won that Emmy, which is a very autobiographical episode in which we go back into your character's youth and see how she grew up

and how she eventually came out to her family, there's a scene in which the character's mother seems to accurately accuse her of having a crush on Jennifer Aniston. So I'm asking you, was that taken from real life? I mean, well, who didn't have a crush on Jennifer? All right. I mean, who didn't have a crush on you? All right.

Sure. So, now, many... The coolest thing is I got a chance to meet her and spend some time and hang out with her, and she's just such a sweet, sweet human. It's like you don't... She never... She does not ruin the fantasy at all. Like, she's such a lovely human being.

Well, okay. I was actually going to ask because, as you point out, a lot of people had questions on Jennifer Aniston back in the day, but very few of them become major Hollywood players and get to meet them. Had she seen the episode? I don't think so. Yeah.

Did you bring it up in your conversation with her? I did not. No? Okay. But I'm keen to bring that episode up in conversation. You know, funny to meet you, Jennifer, there's a funny thing. On my ceiling when I was a kid, because you started from here just as a fan of TV, you went out there with nothing and you've risen this high,

I got to ask you, was there like a specific moment where you said to yourself, holy moly, or other words, I have made it. And it may be a cover of Vanity Fair or being on set with Steven Spielberg in his movie and he's directing you. Was there like a moment you're like, it happened? Well, you know know it's so interesting i think though there's a lot of little small moments that aren't that aren't as big as being on set with steven spielberg even though that's amazing there's nothing cooler than being directed by steven spielberg but sometimes just you know being getting like a first class you know a flight is like oh this is this is nice yeah oh yeah, that happened to me once.

And they bring you, do they still do this? But they bring you the little bowl of nuts and they're warmed. Yeah, they warm the nuts because that's how special you are. You don't get cold nuts like the crows. I don't want nuts, period. Yeah. But did you take

did you take the nuts anyway as you're due as a star? You know what? I accept the nuts. You accept the nuts. In a weird way, that's like a metaphor for the whole journey, right? Just accepting the nuts. That's what you're doing every day. You're in a really cool place, and then boom, here come nuts in your face.

Yeah, exactly. Are you still a TV fan? Do you watch it when you don't have to? Oh, man, I watch everything. Really? I watch everything. I love watching television. Trust me, the people in my household will tell you. The TV is always on. I love watching Breakpoint on Netflix.

I think it's such a fantastic docuseries. It's so intense. And then I also love watching Breakpoint on Netflix. I think it's such a fantastic docuseries. It's so intense. And then I also love watching Succession. Really loving Expats on Amazon with Nicole Kidman, directed by Louis Wang. All the shows you mentioned are excellent. They're well-made in their own way. Is there any just pure trash you watch just to turn off your brain like the rest of us do? You know what?

I don't. No, really? I don't. So if really? I don't. So if you're not watching trashy TV, what do you do to just relax? There's something that you can smoke. Oh, yeah? And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Chicago way.

Well, Lena Waithe, it is actually an honor to talk to you, and we have invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling... The Shy Meet the Guy. So, as we have mentioned, you created the Showtime series, The Shy, but what do you know about Food Network's The Guy, Guy Fieri? Answer two or three questions about the millionaire you're most likely to see eating biscuits and gravy with his bare

hands, and you'll win a prize for it. I watch that show constantly. That's my show. I've visited restaurants from that because I use P.J. King. But that's not like a guilty pleasure. You just love that show. I mean, I guess you could call it a guilty pleasure, but I do think it's solid production. Alright, love that show. I mean, I guess you could call it a guilty pleasure. All right.

Who think it's solid production? All right. True. All right. Respect. Okay. Bill, who was Lena Waithe playing for? Julia Harrington of Monroe, Connecticut. All right. Here's your first question. Now, Guy Fieri just signed a $100 million contract with the Food Network, but his road to success started early in the eighth grade when he did what? A, patented his own line of combination hair bleach and styling gel. B, gave a presentation at the National History Fair on the storied history of the soft pretzel. Or C, was nominated for the 1981 Nobel Peace Prize.

Yeah, I'm gonna say, I mean, even though they all sound insane, I'm gonna go with B, though. You're right, it's B. You know how some kids want to have a lemonade stand? He insisted that his dad get him a soft pretzel cart because he loved soft pretzels. That's how he started. That sounds like Guy. Yeah. That's the sort of thing that guy would do. Okay, next question.

For both his outsized personality and his charitable work, Guy Fieri is beloved by millions. But some people take their love further than others, including which of these? A, the Mets owner, multi-billionaire Steve Cohen, who once paid Guy $100,000 just to reenact a fantasy episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives with him. B, Queen Elizabeth II, who once wrote a letter to Fieri saying, after Philip, you are my one true love. Or C, a wild raccoon

who imprinted on Fieri five years ago and can sometimes be seen wandering in the background of his shows. Again, all these answers sound ridiculous. I'm going to go with A. You're right, Steve Cohen. So that's, yes. I should say that Mr. Cohen denies it,

but who's going to believe him? All right. Last question. Guy Fieri, not his real name. What is Guy Fieri's name, or at least was his name, when he was born? Was it A, Adolf Fieri?

Oh, God. B, Chadsworth Archibald Fillingsley III? Or C, Guy Ferry? I mean, yeah. My guess would be C, because I feel like if it was A, I would have heard that. You probably would have. You're right, it's C. His name was Guy Ferry. Apparently, that's what the family name was changed to when the family came here from Italy, I assume, and he changed it back to Fieri. Bill, how did Lena Waithe do on our quiz? That perfect score is

Chicago Strong. Lena Waithe is an Emmy-winning writer, producer, actor, and founder of Hillman Grad, her new movie, A Thousand and One, is streaming right now on Prime. Watch it. Lena Waithe, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Give it up for the hometown

girl. Thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Give it up for the hometown girl. Thank you so much. Take care. In just a minute, Bill warns you about a cyber threat lurking in your bathroom in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. News is a public service. That's why NPR never puts a paywall in front of our journalism.

NPR.org, our free website, promises to stay that way so that you get all of it. Breaking news, pop culture, award-winning journalism, wherever you are. To stay connected, head to NPR.org. From your car radio to your smart speaker, NPR meets you where you are in a lot of different ways. Now we're in your pocket. Download the NPR app today. Stories from across the world. Knowing how to forage and to live with the land is integral to a nice culture. And down your block. From CPR News, this is Colorado Matters.

And you can find all of that and more in your pocket. Download the NPR app today. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Adam Burt, Maz Jobrani, and Nagin Farsad. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill will sing You Got a Fast Limerick in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. But if you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Adam, this week, the Paris Olympics organizers, that's happening this summer, they unveiled the Olympic medals for the upcoming games, and they reveal that each medal, each winner's medal, will contain a small piece of what? The runner-up's soul? No.

Actually, I actually know the answer to this, and I don't know how this works. This sounds very structurally questionable. They'll each contain a piece of the Eiffel Tower. That is correct, right? Each individual medal will have a small piece of iron from the Eiffel Tower. It's all part of the ceremony. We'll build up to this amazing closing ceremony at the end of the games.

Just picture it. All the assembled athletes and the torch and behind them the Eiffel Tower itself slowly slumps to one side and collapses into the Seine. No, what really happened is every time the Eiffel Tower has been repaired over the years whenever they had to take old metal off, they kept it,

right? And now they're using that, that old metal that's already been replaced. So the metals are technically made of the Eiffel Tower as much as they are made of France's garbage. This is just like a long justification for France's hoarding. They never cleaned out

that closet and hey, look, it's coming in handy. So it's just cast off bits of the Eiffel. So it's basically the Eiffel Tower's baby teeth. Kind of, sort of. I guess they're fingernails or something. Yeah, it's gross. It's old bits.

It's still old. It counts. Nagin, the new hot lifestyle trend is called Hercule Dercule. What is Hercule Dercule-ing? Oh, Hercule Dercule, right. It's Hercule-ing and Dercule-ing. In, right. It's Hercule-ing and Dercule-ing.

In that order. It's right. When you engage in Hercule, Dercule, what are you doing? It's an activity. It's an activity. You're sort of in one of those speed bump car things at an amusement park, but you're blowing kisses. You mean bumper cars?

Yeah, bumper cars. Please tell me you do that when you're in a bumper car. Do you bumper cars? Yeah, bumper cars. Please tell me you do that when you're in a bumper car. Do you blow kisses? Yeah. Well, now I was always wondering what are we going to call this? And it's called

Hercule Durkling. Maybe you even invented it. No, that's not it. That's not Hercule Durkling. Can I get a hint? Yeah, you can. I mean, hitting the snooze button is a little easier to say,

but it's not as colorful. It's Hercule Durkling is when you're with your romantic lover and you, the alarm goes off, but you're, like, gonna do a romantic situation. No, we already have plenty of terms for that. Okay. We did not need a new one. Because, like, your hit did not clarify anything for me. Well, I think you may have overthought it. Okay.

Where are you when you hit the snooze button? You're in bed. And all Hercule D'Arcling is... Sleeping? Just staying in bed. That's it. Laying in bed. All morning or all day.

That's Hercule D'Arcule. It's a new trend where instead of getting up in the morning, you just sort of lay there. It's not a new trend. That's his oldest time. Well, no, no, wait a minute. I mean, I know you guys think that because you're all comedians. But this is a trend that's being done by people

who actually have some someplace to go. Is there any sort of medical danger if you dirkle before you herkle? No, no, no. You have to herkle-dirkle in that order. However, you can herkle-dirkle on your own with a partner, or you can get even more benefits by doing it in a group, which is called a circle-dirk. Ay, ay, ay.

Ay, ay, ay. Ay, ay, ay. Lazy on the bed. Lazy on the bed. Lazy on the bed. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Catch us most weeks right here at the Studio Baker Theatre in Chicago. For tickets and information to all of our live shows, just go over to nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi. Hi, who's this?

My name's Corey Moak. I'm from Abilene, Texas. Wow, you sound like you're from Abilene, Texas. You just have that sort of brash Texas thing going on. What do you do there? I work for. Too close. Got nothing. You were like, you were like, I'm going to call up, wait, wait, and I'm going to shut that guy up. And you did it. Well, welcome to the show, Corey. Bill Curtis is now going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly,

and the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play? Yes. All right, here's your first limerick. I think soap and shampoo are too gaudy, so my shower technique is quite shoddy. A deodorant stick and this spray do the trick. I apply them all over my...

Body. Yes. Full body de all over my body. Yes. Full body deodorant has arrived. As people have realized finally that their armpit's just a tiny part of the problem. Full body deodorant is applied, well, as you can imagine, to the whole body, sort of like sunblock, and then

presumably it hardens into an impenetrable shell, so nothing may emerge. Isn't that just soap? Yeah. No, it's apparently not just, it's like deodorant, but it's more of a lotion that goes in your mouth. How do you apply it? I presumably, with an enormous brush,

maybe it comes in an enormous vat you leap into and climb out of. I'm not quite sure. But isn't there something with sweat sweat like it has to come out somewhere Yeah, if you're if it's not gonna come out on your you know, it's you gonna pee it out like what happened I don't know it all sounds very suspicious to me and I think it may be a scam That was just based on someone realizing they could get rich if they convinced people that there is something called shin smell. All right, here is your next limerick. Folks at Colgate are keeping the truth hush,

because this breach makes their internet sleuth blush. While attacking my plaque, my device just got hacked. Yes, some malware infected my... Toothbrush. Yes, toothbrush. This last week, hackers took over three million internet-connected toothbrushes and then used them as bots to crash a Swiss company's website. Who's connecting their toothbrush to the internet?

I'm so glad you asked. Is it the same people wearing Apple Vision headsets? Probably. Because they deserve it. Probably. Wait, I'm so confused. And then how did they use this? They used this to hack another company?

What they did was they hacked it, turned it into kind of like a bot. They took over your toothbrush, right? Yeah. And then those toothbrushes sent requests to this website that they wanted to crash. Three million toothbrushes all at once sending information requests to the website,

crashing it. Because I was picturing more of an end of Fantasia. Yeah, sort of an army. And they, like, attack the security guard and just take all his enamel off. Exactly. And they're just, like like coming down the hallway. All right.

Very good. Here is your last limerick. Since our gastro bar faces defeat, this protein choice isn't a cheat. Because we are vegan, this option is intriguing. Our specials will feature red... Meat? Red meat, yes. A vegan restaurant in the UK

has been struggling to attract customers. Turns out there's only so many things you can make out of cashews. So they have decided to add something new to their plant-based menu, meat. It's a great dining option for vegans whose dads are in town They're of course listing the meat dish on the menu

As a possible burger Someone groaned that It deserved it That is the most British story I've ever heard It really is Every vegan restaurant in Britain will eventually just have meat. Just have meat, yeah. And the worst part will be some vegan will accidentally eat a steak

and feel better than they have in their entire life. Bill, how did Corey do on our quiz? Corey got them all right. Three of them. Congratulations, Corey. Thank you. Corey, thanks so much for playing. Take care. Thanks. Bye, thanks so much for playing. Take care.

Thanks. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. The biggest presidential primary day in this campaign cycle, Super Tuesday. Will the Republican nominee be settled after these votes? Check out the NPR Politics Podcast for all the news you need about what happens when voters have their say. Here at Planet Money,

we bring complex economic ideas down to earth. We find weird, fun, interesting stories that explain the way money shapes our lives. Inflation, recessions, the price of gas,

we've got you. Listen now to the Planet Money podcast from NPR. It's that none of these things happen by accident. On the It's Been a Minute podcast, I don't just tell you what's trending. I dig deeper to find out why. Join me, Brittany Luce, on It's Been a Minute from NPR. And now on to our final game, lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

Adam has three. Nagin and Maz each have two. All right. So Adam is in first place. Nagin and Maz are tied for second. Maz, arbitrarily, you're going to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when they begin your first question.

Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the Supreme Court heard arguments to determine if Blank is eligible to appear on presidential ballots. Trump. Yes. On Tuesday, federal investigators Court heard arguments to determine if blank is eligible to appear on presidential ballots. Trump. Yes. On Tuesday, federal investigators revealed that the door plug that blew off a Boeing plane was missing several blanks. Screws. Yeah, bolts.

On Thursday, a special counsel recommended not charging President Biden over this handling of blanks. Classified documents. Yes. As heavy rains battered the state, over 120 mudslides were reported across blank. California. Yes. This week, a limo driver in Canada was arrested outside of a casino for handing out his business cards,

each with a blank stapled to it. He had drugs on the card. Yes, he had a tiny bag of cocaine on each one. Very good. Yes. On Wednesday, health officials warned that some recalled dairy products are linked to an outbreak of blank.

E. coli? No, listeria. This time, during her acceptance speech at the Grammys, blank announced a new album. Taylor Swift. Yes, this week, some fans criticized singer Demi Lovato after she performed her song Heart Attack. Well, that would benefit concert for blank. For a heart thing. Yes, for cardiovascular health.

for a heart thing. Yes, for cardiovascular health. In her defense, Lovato told the audience, many of whom were heart attack survivors, that, just quote this song, heart attack is a reminder of how strong the mind-heart-body connection really is, which is nice, but it doesn't explain why she followed up that song

with a new song called Boo! Bill, how did Maz do on our quiz? He did great. Seven right, 14 more points, total of 16. All right. You got to catch him. That was a good performance. Thank you.

That cocaine one, I got out of nowhere. I know. All right, Nagin. Okay. Nagin, you're up next. Please fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Senate Republicans blocked a bipartisan blank bill. Border.

Right. On Wednesday, plans were announced to lay off hundreds of employees at Blank's jet propulsion laboratory. Oh, um, Aero Spoodiboo. Aero Spoodiboo. No, NASA's. On Tuesday, emergency crews in Chile continued to battle over 100 Blanks blazing across that country. Fires. Yes.

Wildfires this week. The Italian city of Bologna, home to Ferrari and Lamborghini, announced a new citywide speed limit of blank. Pizza. No. 18 miles per hour. On Thursday, the Motion Picture Academy announced they were adding a best casting category to the blanks. Oscars. Yes.

Known for his hits Red Solo Cup and Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue, country star Blank passed away at the age of 62. Toby Keith? Yes. Toby Keith. This week, a man in Washington State was shocked when he found Blank while cleaning out a neighbor's garage. A pizza. No.

A nuclear missile. What? Last thing this man expected to see while cleaning out his neighbor's garage was a Cold War-era missile that had been designed to carry a 1.5 kiloton nuclear warhead. He tried to offer it to the National Air Force Museum. They refused it, so he's excited to see what the missile is worth when he brings it on to the last episode of Antiques Roadshow ever. Bill, how did Nagin do in our quiz?

Four right, eight more points, total of ten. Pretty good score, but Maz is still in the lead. You don't have to say that, Bill. I know it's not a good score. It was a fine score. It was a fine score. How many then, Bill, does Adam need to win? Seven to win.

All right, Adam, this is for the game. On Wednesday, Prince William made his first public appearance since Blank's cancer diagnosis. King Charles. Yes. On Thursday, Ukrainian President Blank ousted his military's top general. Zelensky. Yes. According to a new report, Blank surpassed 1.5 degrees Celsius this year. Like global warming? Yeah, global temperature. Yeah. On Wednesday, disgraced lawyer Blank claimed the Trump campaign owed him over two million dollars. Michael Cohen? So many to think of. Rudy Giuliani this time. In the Nevada primaries this week,

Nikki Haley lost to Blank. Oh, none of these candidates. None of the above, yes. According to a new study, taking Blank may reduce Alzheimer's risk. A nap? No. I wish. Viagra. A butcher in Australia came under fire this week after releasing an ad that claimed his meat was so delicious because it blanked.

Threw itself onto the barbie. No, because it, quote, came straight from the petting zoo into our back door. Yes, that was a Facebook post meant to attract business to his butcher shop. And he wrote, and I'm quoting, ever been at a petting farm and wondered what these animals you're feeding taste like? Well, now's your chance. The only thing I have wondered at a petting zoo is, God, what did I just step in?

I think that's funny. You think you're petting them, but you're actually just tenderizing them. Exactly. That's what you're doing. And the butcher was like so taken, this is all true, the butcher was so taken aback by how upset people got that he said, quote, where do people think meat comes from? From the grocery store, sir. Bill, did Adam do well enough to win? He did well. Four right, eight more points, total

of 11. But Maz lets Harry Trump in. He's our champion this week. Well done, Maz. Coming up, our panelists will predict, now that we've reached peak Travis and Taylor, who will be the next big celebrity couple to grab our imaginations. But first, let me tell you all.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeka writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell, thanks to the staff and crew. At the Studio Baker Theatre, BJ Lederman composed our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dernbos, and Lillian King.

Special thanks to Monica Hickey and Gary Yak. Our Lil' Spanthrift is Peter Gwynn. Our vibe curator is Emma Choi. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now,

panel, who will be the next big super couple? Nagin Farsad. Tucker Carlson and Vladimir Putin, because obviously going to Moscow was just an elaborate excuse for a meet cute. Mazda Brani. Republicans in the House of Representatives are going to start

dating Republicans in the Senate, and they're going to go under the nickname Useless. And Adam Burke. The next celebrity couple will be the Apple Vision Pro and Microdosing Mushrooms. You thought your kids were ignoring you before. Well, if any of that happens,

we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Nia Nivar, Saad, Amazjo Brani, and Adam Burke. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Bigger Theater. Thank you to every one of you. Thanks to everybody listening at home or wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.

What does it mean that Trump's mugshot recalls Paris Hilton's? What does the fake resume of George Santos tell us about American myths? What if I told you that the Kardashians are the new Kennedys? On It's Been a Minute, I give you fresh ways of thinking about what's going on. Listen every week to It's Been a Minute from NPR. On It's Been a Minute, we talk to up-and-comers and icons of culture. From Barbra Streisand. You're such a wonderful

interviewer. To Tracee Ellis Ross. Your questions were so wonderful. And Christine Baranski. Oh, thank you for your wonderful questions. Here are the questions these icons loved to be asked. Listen every week to It's Been a Minute from NPR.