Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Lucy Dacus

Episode Date: December 13, 2025

This week, special guest Lucy Dacus joins panelists Tom Bodett, Adam Burke, and Helen HongLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

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Get a bunch of perks like bonus episodes and more from across NPR podcasts and support public media by signing up for NPR Plus today. Just go to plus.npr.org. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me. PR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade, the guy they bring in when it's too windy for Bill Curtis to land his jetpack. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater and the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo. Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody. Yeah, later on, we do have a great show. I'm just as excited. Later on, we're going to be talking to the singer-songwriter Lucy Dacchus, who was also part of the Grammy-winning supergroup Boy Genius, arguably. Yes. Get excited. Boy Genius is arguably the most successful musical act ever named after

Young Sheldon. First, we want to test your IQ. Give us a call. The number is 1-8-8-8-Wa-W-W-T-W-T. That's 1-88-8-2-4. Let's welcome our first listener contestant this week. Hi, you're on Wait-Wa-Wat. Don't tell me. Hi, this is Blake, calling from Long Island, New York. Long Island. What do you do there in Long Island. I'm an assistant district attorney specializing in financial crimes, but right now I'm on maternity leave with my first baby. Oh my gosh.

I'm thinking about this. I wonder if your skills as a district attorney, a prosecutor, will be of any use as a mother. Maybe once he can start negotiating back. Right now I'm just in a hostage situation.

Well, welcome to the show, Blyde. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a comedian whose new special Un-American is available now on Amazon, Apple TV, and streaming services everywhere. It's our friend Adam Burke. Hi. Hi. Hello.

Next, the host of the trivia show, go fact to yourself. Fawn and Select NPR Station. She'll also be at Emerald City, Seattle. On December 19th, it's Helen Hawn. Hello. Hi, hi, everybody. And a humorous woodworker whose new podcast,

The Bodette Problem, debuts soon. Listen to the pilot episode at hatchspace.org. It's Tom Bodette. Hello, Blythe. Nice to talk to you. So, Blythe, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Alzo. This time, Alzo Slade is going to read you

three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voice. voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes, sir. All right. Here's your first quote.

From two DVDs a week to owning Hollywood. Very impressive. That was a New York Times commenter on news that who has struck a deal to buy Warner Brothers studios for just $83 billion? Netflix. Netflix, yes, very good. Netflix announced they'd be

buying Warner Brothers, which includes, of course, HBO and, you know, CNN, DC, all the other letters of the alphabet, not currently owned by Disney. Netflix assured consumers who are worried about a Hollywood monopoly that even if they do end up owning every single streaming service, you will still be able to pay a separate subscription fee for each of them. I know this is supposed to be horrible and it's a monopoly and it's going to drive up prices and kill creatives, but think about the mash-up possibilities.

Please. Like, K-pop Demon Hunter, sing along. featuring Frodo and Gandalf. You shall not pass, because we're going up, up, up. I was just going to wait for you to do it. I was going to sit here in silence until you gave us a sample. I was hoping for you to jump in here, but you left me hanging.

Your comment that we're still going to have to pay separate subscription. That was the only hope I had was that like half of those tiles on my screen would disappear. And there would just be like the end would. just get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and all of your waking owls will now be taken with scrolling through choices you know what i think it'd be cool i think if netflix bought them all up shut them all down and just went back to mailing us DVDs that's sounding better all the time but aren't Netflix are 18 billion dollars and they're spending 83 billion dollars who do they think they are me

Now, people are worried, this is true, that if Netflix, which streams, of course, video, buys one of the last movie studios, Warner Brothers, that will be the end of movies and theaters. What about a shared communal experience, shouts the one guy you know who's always going to the movies alone? Yeah, but also, I mean, how are they going to recreate that feeling of being in the cinemas? You know, sitting there through 45 minutes of ads? Yeah. You know what, I got to say, this is true. I went and saw a movie the other day, and I'll just say,

I didn't enjoy it very much in a theater. And it wasn't so much I wanted to leave, but that I wanted to be able to point something at the screen and find out how much more of it I had to endure. Yeah, you know what? That happened to me in a movie recently, too. I was like, how long is... Yeah, exactly.

You want to just move the mouse around. Exactly, yeah, yeah. All right, Blythe, here is your next quote. It's driving like a New York City taxi driver. That was one of many people who've noticed that what kind of cars have started getting a lot more aggressive on the road? Is it self-driving car? Yes, it is self-driving car, specifically Waymo's. Waymo's driverless taxis are already operating in some cities,

and customers had complained about trips being slow because the cars were too polite, right? They stopped behind double-parked delivery trucks instead of driving around them in the other lane. They slowed down to check on the people they hit. So, and this is true, the car's programming has been tweaked to make it a little bit more human. Nobody coming in the opposite lane? We'll drive around the truck. No other cars around. We'll just roll through the stop sign.

School zone? If you say so. So some people say, well, now. it drives like aggressively, like a New York City cabby. As a matter of fact, many Waymo passengers have noticed the sudden appearance of like pine tree air fresheners on the rearview mirror. Although, of course, it's not really a New York cabby unless the car itself says, ah, I wish Giuliani was still mayor. Who was complaining that they were too polite? Passengers. Yeah, I went through, it was actually more hilarious than unnerving was

I owned a Tesla when, and it had the beta self-driving things. And the week that they downloaded that to all of us, and our cars would actually self-drive. It was in Vermont. I took my two boys out with us and said, we're going to let this drive us to town, right? And it's like 10 miles. It took forever.

Oh, really? Yeah, because it's Vermont. I mean, I don't think it really knew where it was. I'd get to a stop sign and be like, whoa, what is that? And it would inch up. And we were in tears by the time we got halfway, to town. It drives like nana.

Yeah. Did it realize it was in Vermont and just started becoming more folksy? It just stopped to appreciate the sunset. Well, I'd be going down the road and then look, another car is coming, which is more rare there than other places.

And it would just like, whoa. Your Tesla somehow tipped its cap to the other person. I'm like, ma'am? Yeah, you got to have the way. I can attest to the fact that Waymo's are more like taxi drivers, because when I tried to hell one, they just went right past. They were way more racist than you thought they were going to do.

All right. Here's your last quote. You want to look good for the person you're with. not throw on pajama pants and crocs. That was someone talking to the Wall Street Journal about the swag gap when one half of a couple does what better than the other? Dresses?

Your right, life. Very good. Yes, when one half dresses better. This is apparently a big deal in the dating community. You've probably seen this. A mismatched couple where one member of the couple dresses really great, and the other one looks like they just rolled out of bed. You know that you're not.

you might have a swag gap problem when you're out with your girlfriend, and people keep asking her, is that man bothering you? I live in L.A. where the women are stunning, but often the men are also stunning. So I feel like as someone who doesn't keep up, you know, with all the latest fashion in L.A., I might be in a swag cap with my imaginary boyfriend. And I wouldn't mind if he was Ethan Hawke, because he's a little shlummy, but I wouldn't be mad at him.

Do you consider that personal growth that you're no longer mad at your imaginary boyfriend? The Wall Street Journal did a big story about this, right? So you know it's real. They said some daters go so far as vetting new partners for like a potential swag gap before they get serious. Like, how do you do that? Hey, quick question. How much cargo do your pants hold? Also, how did Blythe do in our quiz?

The new mom got them all right. Congratulations. Thank you so much for playing, Glide. You really appreciate your turning. Take care. Thank you so much. Right now, panel, that is time for you to answer some questions

about this week's news. Adam, there are 15% more women than men in the country of Latvia. So to help the women out, a new business there is booming. What is that business? Robot men. Not quite robot men,

no. Can I get a clue? You can get a clue. It's like, I promise to love and to cherish for $20 an hour with a minimum of three hours. Oh, is it like, is it rent a husband? It is exactly rent a husband. Oh, wow. Wow. Lathia obviously has a man shortage, so there's been an explosion of

quote, husbands for an hour businesses. These rent-a-husbands, calm down. Rent-a-husbands are advertised that they can repair cabinets, tile bathrooms, mount televisions, basically anything a task rabbit or a lesbian friend could do. Wait, how many married women in Latvia are like,

damn, you mean, I could have just done this hourly? I know, yeah. I wonder if there's anything like Renner Center here where if you miss a payment, they come snatch them up. Yeah. They re- oh no, they re-poed Alan. They re-posed Alan. I don't have the faintest clue.

Don't know what I'm about to do, yeah. So put your hand in my, cross that line. I'm a man on this show. Yeah, yeah, here I come. Coming up, get ready to binge our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-3-8, Wait, Wait, Wait, to Play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, from NPR. Support for this podcast and the following message come from Dignity Memorial. When you think about the people you love, it's not the big things you miss the most, it's the details.

What memories will your loved ones cherish when you're gone? At Dignity Memorial, the details aren't just little things, they're everything. They help families create meaningful celebrations of life with professionalism, and compassion. To find a provider near you, visit Dignityemorial.com. This message comes from Britbox. It's the coziest time of the year on Britbox. That means curling up with a gripping murder mystery, basking in the

ambiance of a sumptuous period drama, or unboxing the unexpected with a hidden gem. Cuddle up with the best of British TV, including Britbox's original series based on best-selling novels like Linley in a new season of Karen Piri. However you cozy, it's all a bit warmer. with Britbox. See holidays differently when you stream the best of British TV with Britbox. This message comes from Wise, the app for using money around the globe. When you manage your money

with Wise, you'll always get the mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees. Join millions of customers and visit Wise.com. T's and Cs apply. This message comes from Hyperfixed, a Radiotopia podcast. In each episode, host Alex Goldman sets himself on a listener's unsolvable problem. and explores the hidden systems that created that problem in the first place. Subscribe to Hyperfixed wherever you get your podcasts. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Helen Hong, Tom Bodette, and Adam Burke.

And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo. Right now, it is time for the wait, wait, wait, don't tell me, bluff to listener game. Call 1-3-8, wait, wait, wait, to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on, wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Renee calling from Missoula, Montana. Missoula, one of my favorite places up there in Northwestern Montana. What do you do there?

I am a canine field specialist for the nonprofit working dogs for conservation. How incredibly cool. Wow. So what exactly? Do you train the dogs to do? So we train them on a variety of things. They help detect things like rare and endangered species, invasive plants, diseases.

So how do they test for endangered species? Yeah. Usually through, not invasively through scat detection. Okay. I was afraid it was like they eat them and they're like, I've never had that before. Well, Renee, welcome to the show. You're going to play the game.

moment you have to tell truth from fiction. Alzo, what is Renee's topic? The Golden Age of TV. So, great new TV shows are streaming every day, whether it's Love Island or Love Island Beyond the Villa or Love Island SVU.

Now, our panelists are going to tell you about a particular new TV show that made the news, but not in the usual way. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you can win the weight waiter of your choice and your voicemail. You ready to play? I'm ready. All right. First, let's hear from Tom Baudet.

During her long-storied career in theater, film, and television, British actor Emma Thompson has not often been required to confirm her identity. Everybody knows what she looks like. Courtney Hochstettler did too. She looks exactly like his mother Debbie, who disappeared almost a year ago. It started with people telling him, hey, I saw your mom on Apple TV. She's in a new crime show called Down Cemetery Road.

Courtney watched a couple episodes to verify these reports. That's my mom, he said. Why would a 70-year-old woman disappear to England in order to pose as one of the most famous faces in the world? It's something she would do, said Courtney. He started besieging the BBC Scotland Yard, Interpol, demanding they return his mother from the TV show she was hiding in. In fact, they got so overwhelmed by his demand, Scotland Yard decided to look for Debbie and found her in a Buddhist retreat. in Mexico. She just forgot to tell anyone.

That is also something she would do, Courtney admits, in retrospect. A man becomes convinced that Emma Thompson is his missing mother and ends up finding his mom. Your next TV tale comes from Helen Ha. The new show All's Fair stars Kim Kardashian as a high-powered divorce lawyer

with an equally high-powered butt. The famous Kardashian Booty is so famous that producers felt all the other butts on the show just couldn't keep up. Test audiences told us they couldn't pay attention to the stories because they were distracted by Kim's assets, said executive producer Ryan Murphy. So we decided we just make her blend in. Enter AI's virtual butt lift. AI was used to enhance the backsides of every other actor in the series. Yes, if you ever wondered what Glenn Close would look like with a thick and juicy BBL, you're in luck. I've never been described as curvaceous, but seeing myself with a

righteous rump is pretty cool, said the actor. Even the men were given the booty boosting treatment. Spoiler alert, Ed O'Neill plays a corpse in one episode. But a corpse with a rocking rear end. And buckle up, Conan O'Brien has signed on to join season two. The producers use AI to enhance the rear ends of all the other actors on Kim Kardashian's new show so that she would fit in. Your last saga of streaming comes from Adam Burke. Ever since its invention in 1913, the refrigerator has served as a message center for

the household. Whether it's a post-it note reminding you to get milk, a terrible drawing by a profoundly untalented child, or a death threat to whatever jerkface took the last froyo, there is no communication hub quite like the humble fridge. But with the advent of the smart refrigerator, it seems, the message is coming from outside the house. Such was the case recently with a British woman named Carol,

who went to her trusty modern icebox, only to see the phrase, we're sorry we upset you, Carol, clearly displayed on the device's LED screen. While some may have taken this digital Maya Copa as a reference to the fact that crisper drawers don't actually keep anything crisp, because after all, it's just a drawer at the bottom of the fridge. I mean, how does that work? Anyway, it was in fact a promotional ad for the new Apple TV show Pluribus, which features a character with that name. The real Carol not being aware of the show, despite it being the one that all the appliances are talking about,

instead thought she was having a psychotic episode and promptly checked herself into the hospital. The confusion has prompted Apple to devise a more subtle promotional campaign for Provis in the U.S., printing the name of the show on all of our money. So these are your three choices. From Tom Bodette, someone becomes so convinced that the character played by Emma Thompson on a TV show is his missing mom, that he ends up helping find his missing mom. From Helen Hong, how the producers of the TV show All's Fair

with Kim Kardashian sort of equalized everybody's assets, or from Adam Burke about how a woman got an ad for a new TV show on her refrigerator thought it was actually speaking to her and promptly sought help. Which of these was the real story of a TV show making the news? As much as I want it to be AI Butts, I think my dog is telling me to go with Alan's story. So your choice is Adam's story about the woman who thought her fridge was talking to her by name. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to an expert about the real story.

I love Pluribus, but it does seem like a pretty neat show. I would think that even people not named Carol might be slightly confused. That was marketing consultant Carrie Sloan talking about the Pluribus ad, getting a little too real for one real Carol. Congratulations, Renee. You got it right. You're into point for Adam. You've won our prize, the voice of your choice, and your voicemail. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks for playing with us today. And now the game we call Not My Job. Singer, songwriter Lucy Dacus recorded her first record as a favor to a friend. He needed to produce something for his school project. That became her hit debut, no bird. which she followed by an even bigger hit historian. And then she formed the supergroup Boy Genius with Phoebe Bridgers and Julian Baker.

And their debut earned three Grammys. We are delighted she joins us now. Lucy Dacus, welcome to wait, wait, don't tell me. Thank you. Great to talk to you. I have to ask, is that true that your first record was recorded as a favor to a friend?

Yeah, he had a school project to do. And my friend was working at Reba McIntyre's studio. studio, and he was like, no one's scheduled on this Saturday, should we sneak in? And so the whole record, we recorded it in one day, illegally. Well, I don't know if it's illegal, but without approval. Right. Well, first of all, I'm assuming he was, like, studying something like producing or audio engineering in school, right? Yeah, he was interning. Right. And I guess the first question is, did he get a good grade? I never asked him that. Really? I got to assume that he at least passed.

I don't know if it was a past fail situation. Yeah. He didn't like, he didn't fail and have to have you record another record, did he? Yeah, and that's what historian is. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It was the second project. Yeah.

So that's an amazing story. You started playing guitar, I'm told it, 12 years old. I would say the correct answer is yes. The correct answer is yes. I like the fact that you're already getting to the quiz aspect. That's good. I'm not very, um, I'm still, like, not the best at guitar. I feel like guitar at that time was, um, hardly listenable.

Really? But you, you're actually quite an accomplished guitar as you were on a list of some, one of the greatest of all time I saw. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Do you, do you remember, I'm always curious about this, artists like yourself,

like what your first songs were like, when, when you first wrote a song, do you remember what it was? Um, I had a song called Stupid Cupid, which was like, why, I want Cupid to come to me. I was probably like seven years old. What? Yeah. I don't know.

At the end of the song? I was ready for love. Yeah, I know. You were already pining for a partner at seven? Yes. Yeah. I mean, I also had a song that was about people who are upset when someone cheats on them, but it is probably their fault because why would they cheat on you if you weren't hard to be with?

Again, I was probably like eight years old. Oh, my goodness. Wow. You were eight years old. What was happening at your elementary school? I'm glad I don't remember. I'm wondering, who are your big influences when you were a kid? Who were you trying to emulate when you were writing incredibly emotionally complex songs

at the age of age of age? Fergie, actually. Okay, yeah, that one was doing. Yeah, okay. At eight, Fergie and Adele probably at that time. Yeah, I understand. You also, in your early days before you recorded that school project and began to become very popular. You worked at a, I didn't even know that he still existed within a young person's

lifetime, but a photo processing shop in Richmond, where you grew up? Wow. Richmond Camera. Did that experience inspire any of your writing? Well, it was so mindless, and it was eight hours a day, and so I would sit and do my like, do-da-da-da-da-da, and then I had a pad of paper, and I would write songs, and I'd get home, and I'd get on the guitar, and I'd write, like, a song a day at that time, which is not, like, what I do anymore. Wow. Have you considered, I mean, you seem to be nostalgic

for when you were that productive. Have you considered taking on, like, a mindless day job again just to reignite the creative spirit? Yeah, I think you're being funny, but I've not. I definitely thought about that. Yeah. I'm ready. You're ready.

Somebody hire this woman for drudge work so she can reach the heights of productivity. The photo counter at Walgreens. I think that's exactly how you dress. Why not? In 2019, you released a song on certain holidays throughout the year and then put out a record of them all called Holidays, and I love this record.

How did you decide which holidays to do? The real truth is that I had recorded a bunch of things for no reason because it's fun to do, and I was like, when are these going to see the world? And so I realized that some of them have like a holiday aspect, others. I kind of could make it up. Dancing in the Dark, we just said that Bruce Springsteen's birthday is a holiday, which I stand by.

Right. And then, like, in the air tonight, like, that was kind of eerie, so we did it for Halloween. I also wanted to ask, as you say, one of the holidays, Bruce Springsteen's birthday, and you do think that's a holiday, you're a big fan, right? It was in my house growing up. I mean, it was written out. We had, like, a big calendar in the kitchen where we put, like, you know, basketball practice, church, Bruce Springsteen's birthday.

Wow. Can I ask? How did you celebrate it? Did you all put on tight white t-shirts, tight jeans, and work out issues with your fathers? Please tell me you called it. Please tell me you called it the Springsteen. The Springsteen's? You're a genius. That's crazy.

I have to call my dad. I saw a picture of you with Springsteen, so you didn't meet him, right? Right? Did you tell him about the Springsteen's? No. Oh. I already knew. Like, I'm not that, like, fazed when I meet people, but he, like, is so important to my dad and to me. And I, like, showed up at a friend's birthday party and, like, saw him, and I was like, I need to go.

I'm about to make a fool of myself. And so I was crying at the bar to a friend. It was like, this is weird. And I should go. And so then I turned around And he was right there And he actually Like knew me

And knew my music already So I was just like I think you're the best I Like yeah And he was very gracious And he kind of He seems to be like the guy that you want him to be

Which is not always true It's always so Well Lucy Dakers it is a pleasure to talk to you And we have invited you here To play a game we're calling Boy genius meet boy geniuses So your band is called boy genius So we're going to ask you three questions about geniuses

Who are also boys? Answer two or three Well, okay, you're rolling your eyes I did warn you earlier it would be dumb I mean you can be Genius is opposite of dumb Okay, let's go Let's go, all right, I appreciate that.

That was very charitable. Okay, so as I was saying Answer two to three questions correctly, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Also, who is Lucy playing for? Kimberly Ramos of Chicago, Illinois. All right. Here's your first question. Math genius Suborno-Bari started at NYU last fall at the age of 12, when a reporter asked him,

do you sometimes wonder at the fact that you're only 12? What was his response? A, quote, why wonder at that when there's dark matter to wonder about it? B, quote, not really, I've seen my birth certificate. Or C, quote, yes, mainly when my classmates go to a bar without me. I'm going to say the second option. I think it's two. You are right.

It was B, yes. He said yes, I've seen my birth certificate. He is a math genius. He can count to 12. All right. Here's your next question. Dugie Hauser was a fictional boy genius who, in the show, completed med school at the age of But the actor who played him, Neil Patrick Harris, was not a medical prodigy.

So how did he get through the scenes where he had to spout a lot of medical garden while performing surgery? Was it A, he recorded each big word just one at a time, and then the editors would just cut away to the nurses a lot to make it sound like he was saying it all at once? B, he put a card with his lines written on them inside the surgical wound he was supposed to be operating on, or C, the actor playing the patient in the operating table would whisper the lines to him, taking advantage of the fact you couldn't see his mouth under a oxygen mask.

I would say B because... You're say B. You're right. Yes, it was? Yay. All right. Here is your last question. Get this right, you'll be perfect. Boy geniuses from around the country were once invited to participate in a game show called Our Little Genius, where prodigies answered nearly impossible questions in the pursuit of winning $500,000. but the show, the recorded never aired.

Why? A, the network had said, people already feel dumb watching game shows. Now we're going to make them feel dumber. B, the phone-a-friend feature failed when every single contestant asked, does my mom count? Or C, it was shut down when it was revealed the kids weren't actually geniuses. Producers were just feeding them the answers right before they filmed. I feel like we lived in the world of C. We do, sadly.

It is a fallen world that we live in, and you are correct. It was C. The whole thing was a scam. It was never broadcast. Also, how did Lucy do on our quiz? She did great. Three out of three. Well done.

Great. Lucy Dacus is a singer-songwriter and one-third of the supergroup Boy Genius. Her new album, Forever is a Feeling, is out now. Lucy Dacus, thank you so much for joining us. I might wait on time again. Thank you for having me. It was a pleasure to talk to you.

Take care. Likewise. Bye-bye. In just a minute, hear about a man with infallible style in our listener to Limerick Challenge. Call 1-8-8 Wait-Wait to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, from NPR. Ella McKay, coming to theaters December 12th. Your father's here.

Why? A heartwarming new comedy from James L. Brooks. I'm a different person. I have never been in my life out this way about any other woman. Jesus! I wasn't counting your mother. It's a perfect holiday comedy about an imperfect family. You can use a scream, Ella.

Starring Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis, Camel Nanjani, Iowa Debrie with Albert Brooks and Woody Harrelson. You should do that every afternoon. Ella McKay. This message comes from rethinking, a podcast from TED. Organizational psychologist Adam Grant asks today's greatest minds about their fascinating ideas on leadership, joy, resilient. and more. They might just challenge your assumptions. Listen to rethinking. Support for NPR and the following message come from the estate of Joan B. Kroc, whose bequest serves as an enduring investment in the future of public radio and seeks to help NPR be the model for high-quality journalism

in the 21st century. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News, quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Tom Baudet, Adam Burke, and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo.

In just a minute. Thank you, everybody. In just a minute. Three Limericks enter, but only one leaves in our listener Limerick Death Match. If you'd like to play, give us a call. One-T-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-4. That's 1-88-9-24. But right now, panel, some more questions.

for you from the week's news. Tom, this week, a couple who rented an Airbnb were shocked when they arrived at their rental and found a sign telling them to use the bed, quote, only for what? Well, it's already good. There's only a couple main uses. Well, sleeping.

Yes, only for sleeping. The couple checked in to this Airbnb in Istanbul, Turkey, and they were surprised they found this note on the bed that was to be used, quote, only for sleep, no other activities, unquote. Wow. Wow, ma'am, where am I supposed to do my scrapbooking now?

So obviously it seems like the owners of the Airbnb were trying to avoid any, you know, amorous activities in the bedroom, but then why did the dining room table have a sign that said, anything goes, get wild, you freaks? Did the turn the sign over and it said That's what the sex swing is for Now this is what they say

What happened It's possible one person in the relationship Just snuck in early and put the sign there Now we've had this experience right This is a little much though Of seeing these signs And the instructions around your Airbnb Remote for the TV

At the same place had a sticker that read Use only to turn TV on off Which is a mistake because now you're just asking people to come up with other things a remote could be used for. What was in the bathroom? Any direction there? Helen, Japan is having trouble keeping bears and other animals away from populated areas these days. But this week, we learned about an increasingly popular and successful method of scaring them off. Just installing a what?

A Netflix account? I need a hint. You need a hint. Well, we assume that it just happened to the robots they already have when there was a full moon. Werewolf robots. Wolf robots.

No. Or robot wolves. Yes, that's right. The monster wolf robot, that's its official name, is this sort of wolf-shaped device that's got speakers and flashing lights and glowing red eyes

to deter bears from approaching, while also adding a fun pop of color. to your home decor. There are about 300 of these things currently operating in Japan. Apparently they're very successful. And frankly, having seen some pictures of these things, I agree with the bears. I mean, I think

I'd rather have the bears. Really? Than robot wolves? Also, oh, Japan, why is your solution to everything, robots? That's true. Haven't you watch any of those movies? It is legitimately scary. It is a combination of like,

it's like a combination of electronic parts and cheap fake fur vaguely in an animal shape it looks like something that was thrown out of the Chuck E. Cheese animatronic band because of a drug problem. Is it stationary? Is it they like

just put them somewhere? Well what's interesting is right now the original model is stationary. It just sits there. It's got these speakers who can play 50 different sounds. Why? Just scare off the bear! Wove's famously

have like two noises. Yeah, but all that bandwidth. You got to use it. Yeah. Yeah, but the bears will get used to the one sound. We've got this new scathing werewolves that scares the crap out of everyone. Now, so apparently, like I said, it's very successful.

They're buying more of them, but it's possible that it's not actually scaring anything. The bear is just running back to the woods to tell his friends. Phil, you got to see this. We knew AI was going to be stealing jobs. I didn't think he'd be doing it from animals. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first is the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call to leave a message at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-4. That's 1-88-9-24. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago. You can catch us next on the road in Bloomington, Indiana, on February 26th. For tickets and information about all our live shows, just go over to NPRPresents.org. Hi, Aaron. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. Hi, everybody.

Meredith's calling from beautiful Reno, Nevada. Oh, the biggest little city in the world. Reno, I like it there. What do you do there? You got it. I am a part-time substitute teacher, full-time homemaker. Oh, I see. That's great.

Do you enjoy substitute teaching? I absolutely love it. It's joy. It brings me so much joy to see those kids' faces. It was a joy for me to see a substitute teaching. teacher when I was a kid. Well, welcome to the show, Meredith. Alzo Slade is going to...

Thank you. It's so good to be here. It's great to have you. Now, Alzo Slade, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and to the limerick will be a winner. You ready to go? I am ready.

Here is your first limerick. In hockey, we fight quite a bunch. sometimes cheekbones or teeth need to crunch. We vote by the dozens for center Nick Cousins a face that we all want to. Punch! Yes, a survey of NHL players named Nick Cousins of the Ottawa Senators

as the most punchable hockey player in a landslide. Now, this does not mean the players went on to say that the NHL players hate Nick Cousins One player, in fact, said, I love the guy. He's a very good friend to me, and then voted for him as most punchable. Does he say that when he is punching Nick Cousins? Nick, you're a great guy.

You have one flaw, though, too many teeth. Pow! If we were to have that contest here, I think Tom Bowdette would come last. What? Is the least punchable. Oh, the least punchable. Thank you. Yeah.

I would think, like, the most punchable face, like, I don't know if you've ever had occasion to actually punch a face, but it really hurts. It's only happened to me once. You've punched a face? It's a long story for another time, and a long time ago. But it hurts. It hurts a lot. And so I would want to punch a really fat face.

Yeah, yeah. Pussy. Like the potato of faces. Yes. Yeah. All right. Here is your next limerick. Clothes and water are making this.

jar slick. It's a mouthwash that is a sub-part trick. My mouth will be clean, but my breath makes you scream. My new mouthwash is four cloves of garlic. Garlic, yes. According to a paper published this week, the compounds in garlic are as effective

at fighting microbes in the mouth as the best commercial mouthwash. The only difference is when the garlic does it, it makes the microbes leave voluntarily. This is a way to low-key break up with someone without actually having to break up with someone.

Just be like, I got this new mouthwash, babe. What if you use like rosemary mouthwash to complement it? You know what I mean? Like made it into a sauce. No, this product, garlic mouthwash ticks all the boxes for the crunchy, all-natural crowd out there.

It doesn't have any chemicals and it makes you smell terrible. All right, here is your last. For an old man in white, he's real dope. A plain gown and his belt is a rope. Leo 14 is a real fashion queen. Yes, among the best dressed is the... The Pope!

Shocking, no one who has seen in the movie Conclave, the New York Times put the Pope on their most stylish of 2025 list. It's not totally intuitive until you remember that if the Times call something Red Hut, people instantly stop caring about it. They said he, the Pope, has, quote, altered the office's image by wearing Chicago White Sox hat with his papal garments. It is a cool contrast. You have to admit, cursed by God versus God.

Yeah, is there a swag gap between the Pope and Jesus? It's possible. They show up together, and the Pope's like, you just wore a loincloth? But I feel like there's a swag gap between the Pope and the Cardinals, Because they get to wear, like, the red gown. You know, when it comes to a white man and a white robe and a pointed hat, I kind of get a little nervous. Yeah, I can see that.

Alzo, how did Meredith do? She did great. Three out of three. Perfect score. Congratulations. Thank you. Well done. I have such a great time.

Thank you, Peter. Thank you, also. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. Take care. Now onto our final game, lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-o-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points.

Alzo, can you give us the scores? Absolutely. Helen and Tom are knotted up at two with Adam in the lead with four. Okay. That means that Helen and Tom are tied for second. So, Helen, I'm going to arbitrarily choose you to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

On Wednesday, the U.S. seized an oil tanker belonging to blank. Venezuela? Right. This week, the Supreme Court agreed to hear a case challenging blank citizenship. Birthright. Right. This week, President Zelensky reiterated that he would not accept a peace treaty that ceded Ukrainian land to blank. Russia. Right. Under a new government plan, foreign tourists could be required to disclose up to five years of their blank history to U.S. officials.

Taxes? No, social media history. This week, officials in South Carolina said they stopped a drone from illegally delivering blank to a prison. Donuts. No. Close, though. Steak, crab legs, and old bay seasoning. I guess the dessert was on the next drone. On Wednesday, NASA confirmed that they'd lost contact with the Maven spacecraft orbiting Blank. Mars?

Right. On Sunday, Katie Perry and former Canadian Prime Minister Blank went Instagram official. Wait, what's the question? Oh, Justin Trudeau. Right, exactly, yes. You were too busy being glad for them. Oh, so sweet. This week, organizers apologized after attendees in a Canadian town's 2025 Santa Parade

We're accidentally blanked. Transported to the North Pole. Lost their way from the North Pole. No, the spectators were accidentally sprayed with flamethrower fuel. What? Several people attending the St. John Santa Parade complained that one of the floats,

a giant truck decked out with working flamethrowers, doused them in lighter fluid during the parade. The organizers of the event have apologized, but what do you expect them to do, throw a Santa parade without the traditional truck decked out and working flame throwers? Also, how did Helen do in our quiz? She got five right for 10 more points, total of 12, and she's in the lead.

All right, very well done, Helen. All right, Tom, you are up next, fill in the blank. On Monday, the Supreme Court seemed likely to side with Trump in a case that would greatly expand blank powers. Presidential powers. Yeah, on Tuesday, Eileen Higgins was elected the first Democratic mayor of blank in 30 years. Miami. Right.

This week, the Federal Reserve cut blanks a quarter of a percent. Interesting. Right. On Monday, Australia's ban on blank for kids under 16 went into effect. Screens or internet, social media. Social media, that's right. This week, a man in Florida caught behind the wheel of a stolen BMW, explained to police that he didn't steal the car. He blanked.

He borrowed it? No, he said he did not steal the BMW. He had been teleported into it. Oh, that happens. On Wednesday, the powerball jackpot rose above blank. A billion dollars. That's right. This week, a woman in Spain sued her employer after she was fired for

repeatedly blanking. Being transported into cars in Florida, which is a thing that's happening. No, she was fired for repeatedly showing up early for work. What? The woman was supposed to start at 7.30, but she kept showing up between 6.45 and 7.7. And her boss said, cut it out.

We start at 7.30. But her behavior persisted. So she was fired for, quote, serious misconduct. The lawsuit was a last resort for the woman. She had originally tried to protest to someone in HR, but they weren't in the office yet. Also, how did Tom do in our quiz?

He also got a five right for ten more points total of 12. He's tied up with Helen. Okay. So how many then does Adam need to win? Four to tie, five to win. Right, all right. Here we go. Adam, this is for the game.

Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a federal judge granted a request to unseal blanks court records. Epstein. Yes. This week, experts warned that an atmospheric river could bring dangerous blanks to the northwest. floods? Yes. On Wednesday, the White House unveiled their new $5 million gold card, blank. It's like a visa? Yeah, it's an immigration visa. It costs $5 million. This week, authorities in

Mississippi are searching for the person who stole a Christmas display of blank. Jesus is a robotic wolf? No, they're looking for the person who stole a display of the Grinch who stole Christmas. After pulling him off the air earlier this year, ABC announced they had extended Blank's contract through 2027. Jimmy Kimmel. Right. This week, Magnus Carlson, and other chess greats became under threat from a new, highly ranked competitor who is blank. Is it?

A dog? No. He is three years old. What? Sarwagya Singh Kushwaha is the youngest ever person to be rated by the world's leading chess organization is just three years, seven months, and 20 days. He's already beaten several other players

who are decades older than him with his trademark strategy of touching all the pieces with a snotty little hands. Having his opponent's forfeit. Yeah. Alzo, did Adam do well enough to win? Well, I don't know if we should celebrate or not. He got four right, eight more points,

so either everybody wins or everybody loses because it's a three-way top. They are. Yay. Stasis. Everybody wins. Everybody wins. In just a minute,

I ask our panelists to predict that after and Netflix and Paramount and Warner Brothers, what will be the next big merger in the news? But first, let me tell you. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with urgent hair cup productions Doug Berman Benevolent Overlord.

Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shane Adonald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. B.J. Leiterman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles, Dornboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey.

Peter Gwyn is our private. address announcer. Emma Choi is our visual host. Tactical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producers Ian Chilog and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, is Mike, Nathan, Detroit, Dan Ford. Now, panel, what will be the next big corporate merger? Adam Burke. To the delight of kids everywhere, six and seven are going to merge into an even, into a more annoying number called Sixes. Helen Hong.

McDonald's will merge with Burger King and McNuggets will be renamed McKing's Nuts. And Tom Bodette. Exxon Mobile, Texas, and the U.S. Navy will merge to make a hostile bid for

Venezuela. And if any of that happens, Peno, we'll be sure to ask you about it on, wait, wait, don't tell me. Thank you, Alzo Slade. Thanks also to Helen Hong, Tom Bodek, Adam Burke. Thanks for our fabulous audience here at the Student Baker Theater in downtown Chicago. And thank you all out there for listening wherever you may be.

I am Peter Segel. We'll see you next week.