Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Maya Hawke

Episode Date: May 18, 2024

Actor and singer Maya Hawke joins us to talk Stranger Things, childhood songs, and folk music beefs with panelists Adam Burke, Faith Salie, and Negin Farsad.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

On this week's episode of Wild Card, actor Chris Pine tells us it's okay not to be perfect. My film got absolutely decimated when it premiered, which brings up for me one of my primary triggers or whatever is like not being liked. I'm Rachel Martin. Chris Pine on how to find joy in imperfection. That's on NPR's new podcast, Wild Card, the game where cards control the conversation. From NPR and WVEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the Champagne of Voices.

I'm a nice cold biller highlight Bill Curtis and here is your host at the Suda Baker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois Alzo Slade Thank you Bill and thanks everyone Yes, I'm also slay filling in for Peter Sagle, but for those of you who don't hear color, I might just be Peter Segel. Either way, we have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to have a chat with Maya Hawke from Netflix's Stranger Things. She's making all sorts of moves, making music, TV, and movies. The only move she's not making is helping you move.

You're a grown up. But we're staying right here. So give us a call and play our games. The number is 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hello, you're on WAITWAIT, don't tell me. Hi, Alzo, this is Ashley Game from Leesburg, Virginia. Ashley Game, how you doing? Good. That's a cool ass name game. Thank you. Do you have game? I have a game. Okay okay. What do you do in Virginia? I'm an IT consultant. Oh for for whom? A big company. All right well I would ask some more questions but I feel like you're not going to answer them. All right, well, I would ask some more questions, but I feel like you're not going to answer them.

Probably not. Well, Ashley, let me introduce you to our panel. First up, a comedian who will be headlining the Comedy Bar in Chicago June 15th. It's Adam Burke. Hi, Ashley. Hi. Hi, Adam. Next is the comedian and host of the podcast, Fake the Nation, follow all her shenanigans

on her socials at Nagin Farsad. It's Nagin Farsad. Hello. And she's a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning and host of the podcast, Health Matters. It's Faith Salie. Hey, Ashley. Hi, Faith Faith Salie. Hey, Ashley. Hi, Faith. Welcome to the show, Ashley.

You're going to play Who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can identify two of them, you'll win our prize, which, for some reason, is still any voice from our show you want on your voicemail. Ashley, are you ready? I am. Your first quote is from President Joe Biden. Make my day, pal.

That was the president challenging Donald Trump to do what? I would think a duel, but I think it's a debate. Yes. Yes. You are right. The debate. After months of will they or who cares if they, we now know Trump and Biden will face

off in two debates. Biden asked for the first one to be in June, which only means one thing. Joe Biden doesn't realize June is in two weeks. It's so funny that it was kind of painted as a win. The scheduling was painted as a win for Biden because apparently having it in June gives him time to repair the damage. Did he really announce it by saying make my day? Yeah, I mean nothing really gets the youth vote organized. Like a quote from that movie, they all love Dirty Harry. Well, you know, Biden hasn't been this excited for a debate

since he was front row at Lincoln Douglas. Well, you know, wait, I have to say, like, we're making all the Bidenist old jokes, but we have spent the last few weeks watching Donald Trump take naps in a courtroom. That's fair. So I feel like, well, yes. So let's just, just to both sides of this old thing. My favorite part of the debate is going to be in the middle when they stop to watch Jeopardy. Well, you know, you know, Biden was the one that sent out the strict conditions for the

debate and Trump agreed to all of them thinking they were conditions for his parole. Meanwhile, I feel like we should just go all the way with these debates. Like I think we should have Biden, Trump, we should throw in an RFK, throw in even Jill Stein. Cornell West. Cornell West. Let's get Joe Rogan to moderate and then let's have it be an episode of the hot ones. Well, you mentioned RFK. The conditions Biden insisted on was no audience, candidates' mics must be muted

after the allotted time expires, and no third-party candidates or their worms. All right. Your next quote is about customers reacting to the animatronic band at a certain restaurant. Sometimes kids hit them, which is mad disrespectful. That was a fan of what arcade slash restaurant which announced this week it will be shutting down the band at most of its locations by the end of the year. Chuck E. Cheese? Yes. Yeah. How'd you know that? Chuck E. Cheese. By the end of the year, all but two of the chain's 400 locations

will no longer have the animatronic puppet band they're known for, leaving children to find something else to have nightmares about. There's always climate change. I mean, if you ask me to guess, who's going to stop touring first, the Chuck E. Cheese band or the Rolling Stones? Well, you know, if you've seen the Rolling Stones, you know they're just animatronics anyway. You know, when some people hear Chuck E. Cheese, I guess they think of this band, they think

of pizza, and now that I'm a parent, I just think hand sanitizer. You know when your kid is invited to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, you're like, well, the whole family's going to be sick next week. Yes. Chuck E. Cheese is really only famous for two things. It's the band and the pizza that for some reason could burn the roof of your mouth at any temperature. Well, I think the reason the pizza is so hot is to burn off the staph infection you get from the band. Well, you know, the good news is removing the band from

Chuck E. Cheese will make room to finally put in off-track betting. We all know kids love horses. How long has it been? I love that it only took them 50 years to realize that the best mascot for a food industry wasn't a rat. All right, here's your last quote. Honey, I love you. Didn't you see my Slack about it?

That was a New York Times headline about people using office software like Slack to manage what? Oh, their love life? Yes, relationships, their relationships. As online office and project management tools become more prevalent, more couples are using them to manage their relationships and, quote, circle back to their vows. Let's drill down on that. Wait, I've willfully stayed ignorant of what slack is? So if your spouse, you know, slips into your slack, can all your coworkers see what you're talking about?

No, no, no, you can make separate channels. There's separate channels, yeah. And then when you're dealing in a relationship, there's like a channel for like the grocery list, there's a channel for your sexual fantasies. So, yeah. You know, there's separate channels. I'll give you an example. Like, according to the New York Times, couples are using Slack to establish gratitude channels.

Oh. Where they can list reasons they love each other rather than saying them in person. And at the end of the year, you have the data to prove, yes, she does only ever say, I love you too, after I say it first It's the receipts. I do think the best way to turn someone down for sex is to go I don't have the bandwidth right now And just just to bring faith up to see if you never used slack slack is the most efficient way To send someone a message to ask them if you've got the email and the phone

I just think just everyone should put all of these things away and just **** and I know they can't say that. But I feel just as a matter of my personal feeling. But then they would say you could have sent that in an email. Bill, how did Ashley do on our quiz? Ashley got them all right, three in a row. Yay! Great.

Thank you so much. Bye, Ashley. Bye. Right now, panel, some questions for you about this week's news. Adam, you may have seen the art project called The Portals, two large circular sculptures, one in New York City, one in Dublin, each showing a live stream from the other portal. Well, they were shut down after people on both sides did what? What? So I spent some time in both places New York But this is my guess is mainly around Dublin like From what I've seen of Dublin people definitely thought they could walk through that thing

The amount of shamuses and amens were like I'm just off to get some New York pizza slam Amos's and Amon's were like, I'm just off to get some New York pizza, slam. Is that not it? I wasn't sure if that was your final answer. Were they doing inappropriate things? Were they flashing each other and that kind of thing? Absolutely right. This is on both sides? Yes.

They kept flashing it. These were almost magical portals allowing you to interact in real time with people on the other side of the world. And people immediately decided the best way to interact is to show them our butts and boobs. At which point the portal sent a signal into space saying, you know what, go ahead and invade. We had a good run. Why is anyone surprised that this happened? Anywhere you put it. Look, we do this with regular windows.

Of course we're going to do it with a million dollar one. Big move, stay away from my window. I don't want to see you tonight. Coming up, our panelists' hearts are in the right place. Bless them. It's the Bluff the Listener. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

This message comes from NPR sponsor Grammarly. You use multiple platforms every day at work. Writing is involved for most of them. NPR. from editing drafts in hours to seconds. Sign up and download for free at grammarly.com slash podcast. That's G-R-A-M-M-A-R-L-Y dot com slash podcast. Easier said, done. With more and more information coming at you all day every day, it can be hard to know where to focus. The new Consider This Newsletter from NPR can be that focus. Every weekday afternoon, we take one of the day's biggest stories and break it down in a simple skimmable format, so you can get a better grasp of one important topic and what it means for you in a couple of minutes.

Sign up for free at npr.org slash consider this newsletter. Feel like the world is on fire? Shortwave is your antidote. We find joy and beauty in the science of the planet we live on, how people are taking action in the face of climate change, the many weird and wonderful ways animals have adapted to a changing world in the past and present, and how technology is pushing us forward. Listen now to the Shortwave podcast from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me,

the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Adam Burk, Nagin Parsaad, and Faith Salie. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Segal, Alzo Slade. Thanks, Bill. Right now it's time for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to play our game on air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram

page at Wait, Wait, NPR. Hello, you're on WaitWaitDon'tTellMe. Hi, this is Christiane calling from Flemington, New Jersey, and I'm here with my children Willow and Violet. Christiane, Willow and Violet, what's up? Hey there. So you're from Flemington, New Jersey, is that like the country? Yes, there's mainly all farms around here. And are you a farmer? Actually I am. I'm a farmer and a photographer. So there you go. Farmer and photographer. I see. I can dig it.

So are Willow and Violet actually people or are they things that you grow? Both people and things I grew. That's right. Right. Well, Christiane, it's nice to have you with us. You're gonna play our game where you guess who's telling the truth and who is a dirty liar. What's the topic, Bill? It's the thought that counts. Thank God thoughts count.

Otherwise everyone that received the popsicle stick picture frame from Mother's Day last weekend will be pretty pissed. This week we heard about a heartfelt token of appreciation that didn't quite hit the mark. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one and you'll win the weight-weighter of your choice on your voicemail. Christiane, are you ready to play? Yes, I am.

First up is Nagin Farsad. The first week of May is Teacher Appreciation Week where we give teachers gifts in lieu of paying them what they're actually worth. Which would render teacher appreciation week unnecessary. It's as if to say we don't want you to have a living wage but we do want you to have this scented candle. But this year one teacher posted a tick-tock of their gift bag, a treasure trove that included a plastic bottle of water, a stress ball, and a keychain with, wait for it, a matching lanyard. But the crème de la crème of this teacher swag bag was a reminder that we're all about to shuffle off this

mortal coil. That's right, they got a coupon for 10% off cremation services. Just a little something that says, hey, you're gonna die, but you can't even afford to die. Happy Teacher Appreciation Week. That's a cremation coupon from Nagin Farsad. Your next thoughtful flop comes from Adam Burke. When Buford Schmeling, CEO and founder of Schmeling's Fine Fixtures, a bathroom appliances manufacturer in Goshen, Indiana, announced his retirement after 50 years at the helm, the board thought it fitting to commission a statue of the grand and by all accounts terrifying old man in front of the factory he had built.

They thought they found the best and most affordable sculptor in one Irma Cobb of Royal Oak, Michigan. While Cobb's bona fides seemed to check out numerous past commissions and awards, their audit process failed to turn up one very important piece of information. She was once a paramour of Schmeling's, having been jilted at the altar by the bathroom magnet some four decades prior. So while Cobb submitted sketches and models of the proposed and suitably dignified edifice, she was secretly working on the actual statue, which more accurately reflected her feelings towards the man. It was this that she herself revealed to both the board and Schmeling himself at his retirement,

an eight-foot tall representation of the outgoing tycoon pants around ankles utilizing one of his very own signature low flow commodes. Complete with an inscription which we can't quote in full here but was rather clever play of the last name Schmelly. All right. We have an insulting statue from Adam Burke. Your last story to Mr. Mark comes from Faith Salie. When zookeeper Diana Donovan came to work last week at the Cleveland Zoo, her colleagues

gave her a hot pink peony to honor her 50th birthday. Diana tucked it in her hair and entered the primate habitat to check on her gorilla friends Thelma and Louise and the hulking male silverback, Mr. Darcy. For over a year, the zoo's been trying to induce some gorilla baby making, but Mr. Darcy has been down for the count. But when Diana walked in wearing that flower, Mr. Darcy knuckle walked right over, scooped her up,

and sat her on a rock right next to him with his monstrous arm around her. Diana spent the next five hours on the worst date of her life. Mr. Darcy breathing right in her face, not even asking her one question about herself. She was released only when another keeper distracted the silverback with an iPad playing Mr. Darcy's favorite movie, Kramer versus Kramer. Diana says, now we know that when our females are fertile, all we have to do is give them a pink flower to get Mr.

Darcy fired up. I'm dealing with perimenopause and can't remember the last time I felt this irresistible. All right, Kristianne, you've got cremation coupon, insulting statue, and unwanted advances from a gorilla. All right, all of them are something else, but my children and I have decided it's the pooping one, the toilet one. All right. To find out the correct answer, we spoke to an expert on the real story. 10% for cremation is going to go a long way.

I would give it a lot of points. It's the money. Use it to do something fun afterwards to lift your spirits. Wow. Wow. Oh. Wow.

That was Kirstie Turok, a coupon collector who's famous on TikTok as TurokCouponHunter. So Kristi Ann, you didn't win, but you did earn a point for Adam Burke. Yes. Well, I'm glad to have told you some more. Well, we appreciate you joining us, you and the youngsters,

and continue to have fun on your farm. Thank you for playing with us. Goodbye. Thank you. Bye, y'all. Bye-bye. Thanks. And now the game we call Not My Job.

Musician and actor Maya Hawke had a breakout year in 2019 when she landed the role of Robin in Stranger Things and released her first two singles. She's going to do it all again in 2024 with a new album called Chaos Angel and a new movie called Wildcat which was directed by her dad, Ethan Hawke. Ladies and gentlemen, Maya Hawke. Welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you for having me. Singer and actor, which one of these things

did you do first? I've done them both my whole life. It's a notoriously terrible career choice. It's like you try to do one thing well and then you're like hey look I can do another thing badly and then everyone makes fun of you. But it's fun and I've been doing it forever. So you've been a singer-songwriter forever like when you're like four or five years old what are we talking? We're talking like seven, eight, but I was not a professional child in any way. So I don't know if you could give someone the title of that kind of job title at that

But I was singing and writing songs. What were you writing at seven eight years old? I was rewriting the lyrics to songs from the Hannah Montana TV show You were dropping remixes at seven, eight years old. Nice. So Stranger Things is what most of us know you for and you entered in the third season and this show was like the most streamed show in the history of streaming forever throughout all eternity And when I watched Stranger Things it was nostalgia for me because I grew up in the 80s But you're you're much younger than me. You're 25 years old. How did it feel playing a character that works in a mall that when malls really don't exist

anymore? You know, it felt a little bit like being on the Nina and the Pinta and the Santa Maria. Yeah, my people weren't on any of those ships. So Stranger Things is so popular and people, there are some people who didn't want spoilers, didn't want to know what happened, but then there are people online really trying to figure out what was going to happen in the next episode. Were people, when people see you in public, were they kind of, you know, joked you to try to figure out what's going to happen?

They do it all the time, even today about the upcoming season, but the good thing about me is I can't understand what's happening in the show whatsoever. Tell them even if I wanted to. That makes two of us. Maya, I saw the trailer for your new movie Wildcats. It looks beautiful. It looks amazing. Can you tell us a little bit about what the movie is about and the role that you play?

Yes, I play at least five roles in the movie. I play Flannery O'Connor and characters in Many of her short stories and for those who don't know she's an extremely complicated curmudgeonly unpleasant Woman from the Jim Crow South who wrote a lot and also died of lupus That's my pit that was quick And we want to see that. Thank you. When I was in college, I was already obsessed with Flannery O'Connor or drama school, and

I had a boyfriend who wrote me a song about it, and the last verse of the song was, the only thing I knew about Flannery O'Connor was that she died of lupus just like her father. That's a solid approximate rhyme. Is that on the soundtrack? It plays over the closing credits when they do the big dance, the big Flannery O'Connor dance. Maya, do you have a favorite lyric of yours? Like if you had to choose one of your favorite lyrics from one of your songs, what would it be? It would be from a song that's not out yet but that's

gonna come out which is a lyric I stole from something that my grandfather always says which is why do it right when you can do it yourself? I like granddad. That's some real wisdom right there. That's some real wisdom. And I'm sure, you know, as someone in the music industry, you're familiar with the recent beef between Drake and Kendrick Lamar. In your opinion, who would you say won the beef? I mean, Kendrick by a long shot. But now we're getting into my own family politics because I think my mom is the sole person who inadvertently came forward in support of Drake. Really?

You know, I was thinking, like, I know you mentioned, you know, your music, let other people define it, but when I think of folk music, it probably could use a beef to elevate its profile. You know what I'm saying? So if you had to beef with another folk singer, who would it be? Because personally, I think you could take Mumford and Sons all by yourself.

I'd love to go head to head with Mumford and Sons. I'd love to go head to head with Mumford and Sons, maybe like an improvisational folk music battle. Yeah, that'd be cool. We can set it up for, do it on NPR. Yeah, yeah, Tiny Desk Battle. What would the billing be? Mumford and Sons versus Hawk and Daughter? No, just Hawk.

She can do it by herself. Just Hawk. Oh, yeah, okay. She can hold her own. All right. Thank you so much. Maya Hawk, we've invited you here today to play a game we're calling, Oh My, a Hawk. That's right. Hawk

That's right, we're gonna ask you three questions about bird watching Answer two out of the three correctly and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners bill Who is Maya playing for Liz price of Denver, Colorado? of Denver, Colorado. Liz, I'm so sorry. You're going to do great. I can feel it. Here's your first question. Urban birders can get amazing video if they're lucky. Like one person who got footage of a crow doing what?

A, cutting a car's brake lines. B, sorting a neighbor's recycling. Or C, goading two cats into fighting a car. C, goading two cats into fighting a car. C, goading two cats into fighting a car. C, goading two cats into fighting a car. C, goading two cats into fighting a car's brake lines. B, sorting a neighbor's recycling. Or C, goading two cats into fighting each other. Okay, I love crows stories. Crows are amazing.

And they do amazing things. And so I'm going to have to go with, because of my extensive crow research, with B, sorting a neighbor's recycling. The answer is C. Oh. No! No! Yes.

Man. Goating two cats into fighting each other. These two cats are opposite each other on two shed roofs, and the crow keeps flying back and forth, poking them on the butt to push them toward each other until they start going at it. And then he's hopping around them like that third kid at a schoolyard fight, like, go get him, fight, fight, go get him. Do you think the crow had money on it?

Probably so. Yeah. All right, Maya, here's your next question. Birding may seem like a calm and relaxing hobby, but that's not always the case. Some birders have reported spotting birds doing what in the wild? A, screaming cuss words, B, trying to convince hikers to buy them a pack of cigarettes, or C, selling tickets to watch two cats fight. Okay, that's extremely funny funny but I'm gonna have to go with Ed. I think it's a gimmick. Correct. The theory is that captive birds who learn to

swear escaped and taught the wild birds all their dirtiest words. All right, Maya, here's your last question. A reporter uncovered a questionable tactic used by birders in Rhode Island to see birds who rarely fly close to the shore. What do they do? A, send out a rubber raft full of bird seed and then reel it back in like a fishing line. B, buy tickets on a whale watching cruise. Only look at birds, then hope they never see a whale so the company refunds their ticket.

Or C, play loud recordings of boat noises so the birds think they're still over the ocean. I'm going to go with the whale-watching. Yes. Nice. B, the well-watching cruise. Bill, how did Maya Hawke do on our quiz? She did great. Two out of three and Maya that is a win. Ladies and gentlemen, Maya Hawke's new movie Wildcat is in select theaters now and her new album Chaos Angel is out May 31st and Inside Out 2, an animated movie, is out June 14th.

Maya Hawk, thank you for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. And just a minute, Bill reveals how you can get a free bottle of Rose in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From the campaigns to the conventions, from now through election day and beyond, the NPR Politics Podcast has you covered. As Joe Biden and Donald Trump square off again,

we bring you the latest news from the trail and dive deep into each candidate's goals for a second term. Listen to the NPR Politics Podcast every weekday. There's a lot to stay onPR Politics Podcast every weekday. in an easily skimmable format. So you become a mini expert on a major topic each day. Sign up for free at npr.org slash consider this newsletter. Numbers that explain the economy. We love them at the indicator from Planet Money. And on Fridays, we discuss indicators in the news

like job numbers, spending, the cost of food, sometimes all three. So my indicator is about why you might need to bring home more bacon to afford your eggs. I'll be here all three. So my indicator is about why you might need to bring home more bacon to afford your eggs. Ba-doop. I'll be here all week. Wrap up your week and listen to the Indicator Podcast from NPR.

From NPR in WBEZ, Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Nagin Farsad, Adam Burke, and Faith Sealy. And here again is your host at the Student Maker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Segal, Alzo Slade. Thanks, Bill.

In just a minute, Bill eats grapes directly off the rhyme. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-wait-wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, we've got more questions from this week's news. Faith, according to the New York Times, everything we do now, from traveling across the globe to embracing my love of cargo shorts is called what? Something core? No.

Can I have a hint? Of course. This word used to be reserved for explorers and an 80s rock band. A journey. Right. You've heard influencers refer to their fitness journey or celebs talking about their journey to stardom, but going to pick up your dry cleaning is not your errand journey. If I pulled something and got wheeled into the hospital, would that be my hernie-a-gernie

journey? That's cool. Yeah. It's crazy because according to the New York Times, the use of the word journey has doubled since 1990. It's true. If I was the word journey, I'd be pissed. It's like, okay, I've gotten popular, yeah, but it's not dignified. It used to be used to show how people describe circumnavigating the globe.

And now it's just like, my journey to eat more fiber. Yeah, it's like the McDonald's of words now. It's just sort of everywhere and it's not that interesting anymore. You're not taking the journey. Faith, this week, a graduation ceremony at Thomas Jefferson University when arrived when the presenter who was not suffering any kind of medical episode completely butchered everyone's names. Turns out she was only giving phonetic spellings not the students actual names. We're gonna play you the audio of one of the names and if you can tell us the name she was actually trying to say, you get a point.

Are you ready? Yes. Malina Zobacon. Faith, who is Malina Zobacon? Melanie Zobacon. You just got to go for it. Melanie Zobicon. The name we're looking for is Molly Elizabeth Camp. Oh, wow. That was tough. Oh my god.

That was so weird. That was tough. That was weird. You're giving me a second chance? We're going to give you another shot. Oh, no. This is crazy. All right. We're going to give you one more shot. Oh no! Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is crazy. All right, we're gonna give you one more shot.

Oh gosh. Are you ready? No, I'm not, but do it anyway. Here we go. Sire, Oveun, Jinju, Brinon. I know this one. That actually sounds a lot like my aunt's actual name. Go, I give this to you, Adam.

I have a guess first. Steven White. I didn't get the middle name. Is it Siobhan George Brennan? Sarah Virginia Brennan. What? Yes. It sounds like she's hooked on something,

but it's not phonics. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I don't need no fame. I just want you to know my name. I wanna hear it your way. So say my name. I'll just say my name. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago or come see us on the road. We'll be returning once again to the irresistible Mann Center in Philadelphia on June 27th, and at Wolf Trap in Northern Virginia on August 1st. For tickets and information for all of our live shows, go to nprpresents.org.

Hello there, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Patrick Andrews calling from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Patrick Andrews. How you doing, man? How is it in Minneapolis right now? I am great. It's been sort of an idyllic spring and a perfect day. Whoa, that was kind of poetic.

Since you love Minneapolis so much, tell me what is the worst thing about Minneapolis? That's easy. The winters. Oh yeah. You're talking to folks in Chicago. They get it. Yeah. Yeah.

Kind of similar. Well, welcome to the show, Patrick. Bill Curtis is going to read to you three news related limericks. If you can fill in the last word or phrase on two limerings, you're a winner. Here's your first lemmings. Kids don't know how nice freshly cut grass is. They stay home getting ready for classes. They don't see clear skies and it's hurting their eyes. When they're grown, all our kids will need glasses. Yes, indeed. Right.

That's depressing. NPR reported this week that kids who spend at least two hours outside a day are less likely to need glasses. So parents, don't forget to force your kids to look away from their screens and instead directly into the sun. And if you're nervous about letting your kids go outside, you can always put up that electric fence. I would love to refute this study, but the fact I'm wearing glasses is very much borne

out by my childhood. You were raised in a cave, weren't you? Of my own making. Yeah, if I was in a yearbook, it would have been called, Bruises Easily. Here's your next limerick. Though the process might take up your time, read the policy, line by fine line. The small print below pairs well with Merlot.

If you read it, we'll send you good... Wine. Yeah. Correct. A think tank in Britain was pretty sure nobody was ever going to read the privacy policy they were legally required to have on their website. So they wrote in the first paragraph, quote, we will send a bottle of good wine

to the first person to read this. And that offer sat there unclaimed for three months. But I mean, free wine for reading a privacy policy. You gotta scroll forever. I think I'll just buy my own wine. You know who read it was a kid who was outdoors. With their perfect eyeballs. The next privacy policy you come across might have something fun in it like a little you know toy in the bottom of a cereal box. But we have like

lives to live. All right here's your last limerick. Have my glasses been moved by some elf? No, they're right over there on that shelf. The thoughts in my head are not left unsaid. I am talking out loud to my self. Right. More and more middle-aged people are reporting that they talk to themselves. If you haven't engaged in what experts call external self-talk, you should try it out. But for me, the talking isn't the problem.

The problem is me telling myself, you never listen. Does this count? I don't talk to myself so much, but I talk to inanimate objects. I've called the chair a cheeky little bastard when I walked into it. You're like Belle in Beauty and the Beast. Yeah, I am. Yeah. In so many ways.

I think I have like a really wonderful loophole, which is that I have a dog. So I'm talking to my dog all the time. If I were Bill Curtis, I would talk to myself all the time just to hear my own voice, for real. Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, do you talk to yourself? Yes. And is that expensive? What do you say to yourself?

I'm sorry darling. Bill, how did Patrick do? You know, he did a wonderful job. Three in a row. Patrick, you're Minneapolis strong. Patrick, congratulations. Thank you for joining us and playing our game. Goodbye. You care about what's happening in the world. Let State of the World from NPR keep you informed. Each day we transport you to a different point on the globe and introduce you to the people

living world events. We don't just tell you world news, we take you there, and you can make this journey while you're doing the dishes or driving your car. Here at Planet Money, we bring complex economic ideas down to Earth. We find weird, fun, interesting stories that explain the way money shapes our lives. Inflation, recessions, the price of gas, we've got you. Listen now to the Planet Money podcast from NPR. The Bullseye podcast is, according to one journalist, the, quote, kind of show people listen to in a more perfect world. So make your world more perfect. Every

week, Bullseye puts the pop in culture, interviewing brilliant authors, musicians, actors, and novelists to keep you on your pop culture target. Listen to the Bullseye podcast, only from NPR and Maximum Fun. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score? I can.

Nagin and Faith each have two. Adam has three. With Nagin and Faith tied, we'll go with Nagin first. Are you ready? Maybe. Following an assassination attempt, officials say that the prime minister of blank is in serious but stable condition.

Belgium. Slovakia. On Tuesday, the White House increased tariffs on almost 20 billion dollars of imports from blank. Belgium. China. For the first time ever, the blank rose above 40,000. Dow Jones Industrial. Right. On Wednesday, experts confirmed the first cow

to human transmission of blank flu. Avian bird flu. Right. After appearing on a Netflix roast, quarterback Blank said the show negatively affected his children. Oh, Tom Brady. Right.

On Monday, Sage the Miniature Poodle won Best in Show at the Blank. Dog Show. Dog Show. Yeah. Right. That's the one. After renting a Tesla for the weekend,

a man in LA is complaining because he was charged $300 for Blank. Oh, for like a little picture of Elon Musk to be in his car. No, for gas. The man was shocked after he returned his all-electric Tesla and discovered that Hertz had charged him $300 for not filling up the non-existent tank. And that's on top of the $500 fee for all the pedestrian blood on the windshield Bill how did Nagin do on our quiz? She got four rights eight more points total of ten puts her in the lead

Okay faith you're up next fill in the blank on Monday Michael Cohen took the stand in blanks's hush money trial. Donald Trump. Right. On Thursday, the Supreme Court upheld funding for the Blank Protection Bureau. Consumer. Right. This week, a floating pier that will help facilitate humanitarian aid was anchored near Blank. Gaza.

Right. To help free a trapped cargo ship, rescue workers set off explosives on sections of the Key Bridge in Blank. Baltimore. Right. This week, a restaurant in Las Vegas Which held a bluey themed event? Apologized after kids began crying because they saw blank as fake chopped up blue dogs The guy in the bluey costumes beard poking out

As part of its ongoing restructuring, seafood restaurant Blank abruptly closed almost 50 locations. Oh, Red Lobster. Right. On Tuesday, ABC revealed that 61-year-old Joan Vasos would be the first golden Blankerette. Oh, Bachel- Bachel- Bachel- Bachel-er.

Right. This week, a restaurant helped reunite a woman with her missing credit card by blanking. Hiding it in a souffle. No, they posted a full picture of the credit card online. According to the woman, the restaurant posted the full front and back of the card. Good, get that security code. To a neighborhood Facebook group

which resulted in over $2,000 worth of charges to her account. But this is what happens when your wallet has a little note on it that says, if found, just buy yourself something pretty. Bill, how did Faith do? Six right, 12 more points. She's in the lead with 14. So Bill, how many points does Adam need to win? Six to win, Adam.

All right, Adam, this is for the game, fill in the blank. During a visit to Kiev, Secretary of State Anthony Blinken reaffirmed US support for blank. Oh, the Ukraine. Right. According to a new study, eating a blank-based diet can reduce cancer risk. Vegetable? Right.

After the former winner resigned her crown, Savannah Genkowitz was named the new blank. Miss USA or Miss Teen USA? We'll take them both. Right. On Tuesday, thousands of people were forced to evacuate areas of Canada as almost 100 blanks blazed in parts of the country. Wildfires? Right. This week, a judge in Indiana ruled that tacos and burritos are legally blank. People. Sandwiches. On Wednesday, researchers used over 300 million images to create the most detailed map ever of the human blank. Brain? Right. On Tuesday, Caitlin Clark played her first career game as part of the blank. WNBA. Right.

This week, a woman on a Southwest Airlines flight raised eyebrows after she stowed her luggage in the overhead bin and then blanked. Climbed in after it. Right. What? She climbed into the bin herself and took a little nap. The woman was caught on video squeezing herself into an overhead bend during the boarding process. Even worse, witnesses reported she was traveling with her sister, but they were separated after her sister got gate checked. Oh, Bill, did Adam do well enough to win?

Rounding the curve, he came out of the stretch with seven right, 14 more points, 17 and the win. Coming up, our panelists predict what's next for the band now that they're not at Chuckie Cheese anymore. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Gotica, writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donnell. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. BJ Liederman composed our theme.

Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey and Blythe Roberson. Peter Gwynn is our designated Peter Survivor. Emma Choi is our Vibe Curator. Technical Direction, Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our Production Manager is Robert Newhouse. Our Senior Producer is Ian Chilag.

The Executive Producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what's next for the Chuck E. Cheese Band? Faith Salie. Disney's going to add them to the Hall of Presidents and call them Mr. Munch's Make-Believe Band of January 6 tourists. Nagin Farsad. The keyboardist Jasper Jowles will finally release his solo country album because it's not just Beyonce who dabbles. Adam Burke. Six words the Chuck E. Cheese era's tour. Well if any of that happens we'll ask you about

it on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Faith Sayley, McGee Farcide, and Adam Burke. And thanks to all of you listening. I'm Alzo Slade, and we'll see you next week. This is NPR. It's Been A Minute is a culture show that's brought you the best of the best. It's been a minute.

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