Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Michelle Rodriguez

Episode Date: April 1, 2023

On this week's episode, action star Michelle Rodriguez joins us to talk about The Fast & The Furious, Dungeons & Dragons, and her personal state slogan for New Jersey. Support NPR by signing up for Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me+ via Apple Podcasts or at plus.npr.org.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm legendary anchorman, or for you vegans, you're legendary anchorman, Bill Curtis. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. It is great to be back here at the Studebaker Theatre with you all. Later today, we're going to be talking to movie star Michelle Rodriguez, who stars in the new Dungeons & Dragons movie, and of course, the Fast and the Furious franchise. But first, the big news this week was that Donald Trump was indicted in New York. Now, we won't know the actual details

of the case for a while, but history has already been made. Trump is the first former president to be indicted, and Ron DeSantis is about to become the first presidential candidate defeated by somebody in jail. But first, time to move on to some other stories in the news. But first, it's your turn to be a part of history. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, I'm Dan Myers, and I'm from Seattle, but I actually live in St. Louis, Missouri. Really? I love the fact that you're from Seattle. You don't live there, but you're just going to let us know. Where'd you go to high school, Dan? Riley High School in South Bend, Indiana. Wait, when did Indiana enter the conversation? All right. None of this is lining up.

You're just one of those guys who had a long layover at SeaTac, bought some flannel. Well, Dan, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, he's an actor, comedian, and host of the award-winning podcast Las Culturistas. It's Matt Rogers. Hi, Dan. Great to meet another citizen of the world, buddy. Thanks. Good to meet you, too. Next, it's the comedian you can see on Amazon's upload and headlining at Mic Drop Comedy Club in San Diego, California, May 27th and the 28th. It's Zainab Johnson. Hey, hey, hey. Hi, Dan. And our old friend, the host of the daily podcast, TBTL, and the public radio variety show, Live Wire,

which will be live at the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland, Oregon, on April 13th. It's Luke Burbank. Hey there, Dan. They're booing the fact that you lied about growing up in Seattle. That's it. Dan, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill? This time, of course, Bill Curtis is going to read you three

quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail, as we called it back in the 2000s. Are you ready to play? As ready as I ever, Bill, I'll be. Oh, no.

Love it. Love it. Love it. All right. Dan, here is your first quote from someone who was found not responsible for her actions this week. Well, we lost half a day of skiing. She was defending herself from somebody claiming he suffered even more than she did. Who is it? That would be Gwyneth Paltrow.

Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow. Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow. Indeed. The glamorous star of Shallow Hal was found not responsible for the injury's cause when she crashed into optician Terry Sanderson while skiing seven years ago. She was vindicated. What a triumph. The only more satisfying ending for this trial would be if somehow both of them lost. I'm just happy that it's finally proven she is Gwynessent.

Her Gwynessent is forevermore, and now she can go back to not terrorizing people on ski slopes, she can go back to terrorizing women in their kitchens. Exactly. Does this mean that now that she's been guindicated, she's going to have a... Is she going to have a guinnessance?

I mean, she's certainly having a guinnessance in my gay group chat, where a lot of her glee covers are being shared. So her streaming numbers are through the roof. I actually, I didn't want to ask any of you guys, all of you guys, if you had a rooting interest in this case, if you were following it as many people did. I was, I was hoping that she would be vindicated.

The person who was suing her came off as he could not have represented himself more poorly in the case. At one point he had claimed that he had lost vision in one of his eyes and he went to his doctor, this is all from the case, and said quote, I'm blind in that eye. And when they brought this up with him, they said, did you say you're blind in your eye? He said, I used it loosely. They said, sir, you're an optometrist.

You know, I think now more than ever we have to protect drag shows, which is what this court case was when she came in in her Ted Kaczynski drag. I thought this Queen Shantae you stay I mean I wanted her to lose Let's hear let's hear the contrary opinion go ahead

Clear reasons, right Luke He is an optician and I just felt like it's gonna Delegitimize his business for him to say that he saw something and that's not what happened. Right. Professional reputational risk. But also, I'm still owed a refund from Coop. However, we can recoup those. Yes, exactly. We want to make sure that she's solvent.

So, dare I ask, what did you buy? I plead the fifth. Okay. All right. Very good. Here is your next I plead the fifth. Okay. All right. Very good. Here is your next quote. They want kids to get parental permission?

They apparently don't have kids. That was somebody in Utah talking about new laws there that will restrict kids from using what? Social media. Exactly. Social media. Yes. Exactly, social media, yes. Two new laws in Utah will prohibit kids from using social media between 10.30 p.m. and 6.30 a.m. and require age verification or parental consent to join social media.

And without parental consent, you'll have to wait until you're 18 to join TikTok, 55 to join Facebook, and 75 for farmers only. How do they enforce this? This is the thing, is that you have to, in order to log in, under the law in Utah, and it hasn't gone into effect yet, so we don't know if it's actually going to work, you will have to verify your age in the state of Utah to use, to provide ID. I've never been to a website, Peter,

where they ask you if you're 18. Really? And then you have to. No, I never have. What kind of websites do that, Luke? You have to do that thing where you check a box that says, yes, I'm 18. Yeah, it's not Fort Knox.

I don't feel like there's a strong history of keeping people off of websites based on self-reporting their age. They think that the kids won't be able to fake being older because they won't have access to the make me older filter. So that'll help. I don't want to be like a when I was your age. But when I was their age, we terrorized each other on the streets riding bikes.

Right. So let's get back to that. I mean, aren't we on board? Yeah. Kids need to terrorize each other face to face again. Yeah. We need more face to face bullying amongst our children. Body shame them behind the school like we did.

This is not where I saw this conversation going. All right. Here is your last quote. No one ever wants to get the soup. That was New York Times food critic Pete Wells in a column full of new advice about how we should all behave where? In a restaurant?

Yeah, in restaurants. This is very important news you can use. The New York Times brought two of their food critics together to come up with new rules for eating at modern restaurants. It's full of surprising tips, like when you see the letters MP next to the fish on the menu, that means market price, not mostly potatoes. And as you heard Bill say, one of the things that one of these critics offered as advice

is that you should always order the soup. And the logic is that soup is never a huge seller. So if it's on the menu, there must be a good reason for it. But what if the reason is, hey, I just found this can from 1988. Let's get rid of it. Was the premise that because of the pandemic, we have forgotten how to dine in public? A little bit. And also the idea that restaurants have evolved and there's like new rules of etiquette in these restaurants. But like, for example, here's a question that they took on. Should you ask the waiter for his or her recommendation

of what to order? And one of them said, well, only if it's an older restaurant where the, you know, the menu has been established. So the waiters have had a chance to really know what the menu is and what people generally like.

Also, and I'm a severely picky eater. Yes. But it's really about paying, one, I'll ask your opinion and then be like, no. Right. So that's never good. But also,

pay attention to what they do right before they answer you. That's the answer. You mean, hold on. So you ask them, well, do you recommend anything? And then you watch the waiter that you serve.

Yeah, like, how's the chicken? And they're like, you know, it's good. Like, a lot of people, it's like, it's the, that's the answer. If they retch and grimace, don't order the chicken? And they're like, you know, it's good. Like, a lot of people it's like, it's the, that's the answer. If they retch and grimace, don't order the chicken. I actually have, just so you

know, I have my own. This is my own etiquette tip. Always read the wine list for at least five more seconds after you realize it is not, in fact, the menu. Yes. You'll look sophisticated. Bill, how did Dan do on our quiz?

Dan, you got them all right. You are a winner. Congratulations, Dan. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you for having me. Take care. Thanks, Dan. Bye-bye.

Good job. Right now, panel, we have some questions for you, of course, from the rest of the Thanks, Dan. Bye-bye. Good job. Right now, panel, we have some questions for you, of course, from the rest of the week's news. Matt, this week, TSA, in the airports, they came to an official decision after much, much research and debate. They've informed travelers that their jars of peanut butter are now to be considered what? Liquid. Yes, that's right. Have you been following this as well?

I don't, I'm not a peanut butter person, so I'm not going to be caught red-handed with anything at the airport, but I kind of just assumed with context clues. It felt like it could be a liquid or gel. I'd kind of call the peanut butter a gel. Yeah. Which falls under danger. Exactly. There has definitely been one edition of Goop where Gwyneth Paltrow is telling people to use peanut butter as a shampoo. Probably. That has 100% happened. It is true. The TSA has made the official announcement that

peanut butter counts as a liquid. It makes perfect sense. That's why everybody says, oh, I'm feeling a little peckish. I'm going to go pour myself a peanut butter sandwich. And the reason this is important is it means that the amount of peanut butter you can bring in a plane has now limited, like other liquids, to 3.4 ounces. That's pointless. You need at least a pint of peanut butter to hijack the plane. Anyway, so the thing is, if you want to bring peanut butter in the plane, Anyway, so the thing is, if you want to bring peanut butter in the plane, you can't now just wear it under your clothes. Or bring some peanuts in a grinder, you know.

Two solids. Or get a prescription for it. Yeah. Really? I don't know. Emotional support peanut butter. There you go. Coming up, our panelists ask us an important question in our Bluff the

Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Zainab Johnson, Matt Rogers, and Luke Burbank. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Right now it is, of course, time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Right now it is, of course, time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Carrie from Omaha, Nebraska. I love Omaha. What do you do there?

Oh, I'm a lawyer. Wow. Okay, what kind of law do you do? These days, insurance defense. Can you tell me, I know it's hard to remember on the spot, but can you give me a particularly ridiculous claim that somebody made that you had to shoot down? Just today, I was in court with someone who had listed several plaintiffs,

but we found out that those people lived in her head. Did you get to do, like, the Perry Mason moment where you're like, and where do these people live, ma'am? Did you get to do like the Perry Mason moment where you're like, and where do these people live, ma'am? Did you? Yeah, it was, it was like that. That's great. Well, congratulations on a fruitful day at work. How did you lose that case? Now they owe all those people damages. It's the worst. Well, welcome to the show, Carrie. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what's Carrie's topic? You want to rock, young lady? That very question, quote, you want to rock, young lady, was part of a story we found in

the news this week. Our panelists are going to tell you who asked that young lady if they want to rock and why. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play? I am. All, let's hear first from Zainab Johnson. Okay. Natalie Parker's anniversary

date with her boyfriend did not go as planned. She'd been dropping hints for weeks, including a very obvious recent text, my ring size is a six, just FYI. Would he pull up on a horse and carriage, or would a bus drive by with, will you marry me on the side? Sadly, all she got was a text that read, it's over.

Natalie rushed to his place to confront him. When he didn't answer, she noticed his BMW parked out front. As was her right, Natalie then started trying to smash the windshield with one of her four-inch heels. While most passerbys looked at her like she was crazy, one guy walked up and said, you want a rock, young lady? Natalie turned to see Mark, a handsome geologist, holding out a rock.

He said, this will probably do the trick. Or you could grab a coffee with me and tell me all about it. Natalie pondered it for a moment, then picked the coffee. Natalie and Mark currently reside in Long Island City and are expecting their first bundle of joy, whom they plan to name Rocky. A man sees a woman fruitlessly trying to vandalize her boyfriend's car with his shoe and offers, you want a rock, young lady?

Your next story of a rock and roll request comes from Matt Rogers. Brenda West, a 45-year-old mother of three from Vermont, is threatening to sue Disney World cast member Kyle Pullman, claiming he verbally harassed her at the entrance of the rock and roller coaster featuring Aerosmith attraction. This young man said to me, you want to rock, young lady? And I just thought, the nerve. In a response, Pullman was incredulous. That's the script. I'm supposed to stand at the front of the coaster and give an Aerosmith vibe. I wasn't hitting on this woman.

Like most male Disney cast members, I am LGBTQ+. I only work on this ride because my boyfriend Brent is one of the coaster operators, and yes, he's as hot as he sounds. In response, Disney has made adjustments to the script, but the new lines, all Aerosmith lyrics, have proven problematic as well.

Both, want some love in an elevator, and hey, diddle diddle with the kitty in the middle, have been met with less than positive reactions from park goers. For the time being, all cast members have been asked to just hum Aerosmith songs instead. A man accused of harassing a woman by simply asking that question at the Aerosmith attraction at Disney World. Your last story of some rock talk comes from Luke Burbank. The residents of Cuba, Kansas, population 140, are still coming down this week off the adrenaline high that is their biggest yearly event, the Rockathon, in which town members

sit in rocking chairs for three straight days while listening to polka and eating casserole in the basement of the Cuba Community Center. Have we ever done a more deeply Midwestern story on this show than this thing I'm reading you right now? According to Flatland KC, the news site that reported on the festivities, people even planned their weddings around the rock-a-thon weekend so as not to have to compete for attention. That same news article also captured the moment when an older gentleman who had been in a rocking chair offered it up to a young person uttering the coolest line ever delivered in Cuba, Kansas, you want to rock, comma, young lady? And ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to tell you, she did. All right.

So this much you can count on. Somebody in the news said, you want to rock, young lady, to someone else. The question is, who was it? Was it from Zainab Johnson, a very angry woman attempting to vandalize her boyfriend's car, being approached by a helpful stranger? Was it from Matt Rogers, a beleaguered employee, excuse me, cast

member at Disney World simply trying to do his job at the Aerosmith attraction and getting in trouble? Or from Luke Burbank, was it a gentleman who was participating in the Cuba-Kansas Rockathon offering a young lady a chance in the rocking chair? Well, Peter, I'm going to have to say Cuba forever.

Whoa. Cuba Libre. Cuba Libre. Cuba Libre. You're going to go then for Luke's story of the Cuba, Kansas Rockathon and the question being asked there. We actually were able to speak to the person who broke this remarkable story. In Cuba, Kansas, they started this tradition 46 years ago where

they just sit in rocking chairs and rock for a week. That was Cammie Coons, a rural affairs reporter in Kansas City, the one who broke the, and may I say wrote a beautiful feature about the good people of Cuba and their tradition of rocking. Congratulations, Carrie. You got it right. In fact, Luke was telling the truth. Yay! Excellent. Thank you. You're so good at sniffing out the truth. We really appreciate

you doing it with us. Thank you so much. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. And now the game where we ask famous people about very obscure things. It's called Not My Job. Michelle Rodriguez is, among other things, a bona fide action star. She made her debut playing a boxer in Girl Fight and has since then piloted an attack ship in Avatar, driven cars up, through, and over everything there is in the Fast and Furious movies.

The latest asses she kicks belong to the evil monsters in a new Dungeons and Dragons movie. Michelle Rodriguez, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. I've been a fan of yours for years, like so many other people, but I learned something about you that I just love, that you heard about a movie being cast, you went out and auditioned for it, and you got it. And that was Girl Fight back in the early 2000s, right? Early 2000s, yeah, Girl Fight.

And were you confident? Were you like, I can do this, I don't have a resume, I've never been in a movie, but I can play the star of this movie if I just show them that. You know what? When you grow up in Jersey, there's something about the place that just makes you feel, what the heck? There's nothing else. You know, it's like it's this whole thing of like, well, why not? Have they considered making that the state slogan? Yeah.

Of New Jersey? Yeah. Yeah. And so you got that role, which immediately put you in the map. And is it true that you also, the next job you auditioned for, you also got? Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. But you know, to be fair, I think Vin, he saw Girl Fight, and he's the one who told the director that he liked that chick from Girl Fight and that he wanted that chick to play his girlfriend. So it was kind of like Vin calling me out, you know what I mean? First of all, that was a very good Vin Diesel impersonation. I completely believe it. And I should have clarified that that next job that you got, two of two auditions was fast, the fast and the furious, the first movie in

what is now a multi-billion dollar series. Those movies look like they are an amazing amount of fun to make even more than they are to watch. Am I right? Yeah. I mean, you know you you with these people long enough uh you just you just end up having a blast yeah now um you know the guys who have the most fun though are the second unit guys because obviously for insurance purposes they don't let me do all the fun stuff in those cars you know they don't well do you mind if we hang up and call the person who does? I have all the fun with it. No, I have all the fun with it. You're funny. Speaking of which, we heard that when Vin told his director,

Vin Diesel, for the first Fast and the Furious movie, I want that chick to play my girlfriend, you at that point didn't know how to drive. Nope. I did not have, I did know how to drive. I just didn't know how to do it legally. I didn't have a license. I didn't have a license. So say more about that. I did know how to drive. I just didn't have a license. Right. And did you have to get that in order to be in the movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I totally did. But that was after I went to car racing

school. So, speaking of Vin Diesel, we understand, we have heard, as big a lug as he is, he loves to play Dungeons and Dragons on set. And so we naturally wondered if that's somehow

what led you to star in the new Dungeons and Dragons movie. Is there any connection? What led me to star in the Dungeons and Dragons movie was the fact that John and Jonathan, the directors and writers of it, care so much about the 50 years of humans around the world playing it. I used to play it as a teen, not as hardcore as then. But, you know, I did recognize as a kid that the types of humans who do play it and who take it seriously are people that you don't want to mess with i'm so like i've i've met them too i've been one of them and you can mess with us with pretty no

fear of any consequences you know the worst the worst we're gonna do to you if you give us a hard time is, like, furiously roll funny-looking dice until we can yell, gotcha! I actually was very curious because the movie is great fun and lighthearted and fast and action-filled. It is incredibly loyal to the lore of the Dungeons & Dragons game. And were there, like, nerd consultants on set going, no, no, no, that's from the original Monster Manual. It's been revised. Oh my god, you have no idea. Like the pronunciation

of things, I mean, and I'm the worst, you know what I mean? First off, you gotta keep yelling at me about my New York accent, or my Jersey accent, and tell me to remove it, you know, because obviously Holga doesn't have one. And then

on top of that, I have to remember how to enunciate all these strange words that are part of the Dungeons & Dragons vocabulary. I don't know. It was rough. But we got through it, man. Well, since you played D&D on the Fast and Furious set,

I'm sure while on the Dungeons & Dragons set, you relaxed by stealing cars. All right. Well, you are as much fun to talk to as you are to watch up on the big screen. But, Michelle Rodriguez, we have asked you here to play a game we are calling...

The Slow and the Furious. So, as we have asked you here to play a game we are calling... The Slow and the Furious. So, as we have established, you've starred in the Fast and Furious movies, so we thought we'd ask you three questions about something that is neither fast nor furious. Sloths. Oh, my God. The famous slow-moving animal

of Central and South America. Answer two out of three questions about sloths correctly. You'll win our prize. One of our listeners, the voice of their choice in their voicemail, talking as slowly as they might like. Bill, who is Michelle Rodriguez playing for? Mia Ziegelsita from Honolulu, Hawaii.

There you are. All right. Yeah. See that? Here is your first question. Nothing is more interesting about sloths than the process of how sloths poop. Why is it so interesting? A, they are only able to poop if a large animal or person is standing right beneath them.

B, they poop incredibly quickly and loudly, causing zoologists to call them nature's drum solo. Or C, they only poop once a week, and when they do, they expel one-third of their body weight. I was on that diet for a while. What? Wow, I'd have to say three. You're right. That's exactly right. They poop once a week, lose a third of their body weight in poop because of the slow metabolism. By the way,

I want you to know that when we sat down to research sloths for this, every single member of the staff found this independently and sent it in. Peter, did you know that sloths... Yes, I did, because everybody else told me. Yes. All right. Next question. You've been great. Sloths... Yes, I did, because everybody else told me, yes. All right. Next question. You've been great. Sloths are delightful, of course, if you've ever met one, but they're also useful.

What do we owe to the sloth? A, the practice of slow-moving tai chi, right? B, the existence of avocados, or C, animal towel sculptures on cruise ships. What? I go with the avocado situation. You're right. That's what we, in fact.

Wow. And the reason is, as you may have heard, one of the sloth's ancestors was the giant ground sloth, which was this enormous sloth about eight feet tall they were the only animals large enough to eat avocados and pass their enormous pits which is why avocados survived down to us today so there you are next time enjoying a guacamole thank a sloth all right last question you're doing great sloths sloths reproduce in an unusual way. After six months of gestation, what happens? A, the mother to B goes on a last wild fling

with her female sloth friends. B, a kind of sloth doula sits down beside the mother sloth and slowly tells her to push. Or C, the mother hangs upside down in a tree until the baby drops out and swings by its umbilical cord until the mom reels it in. Whoa. I would go with three, but it does sound illogical. But you're going to go with it? I'm going to go with it. You're right.

That's what happens. And I hope as the sloth mother reels it in, she's going to go, oh, that's a big one. Oh, yeah. Bill, how did Michelle Rodriguez do in our quiz? Michelle joins a rare crowd in getting three in a row. You are a winner. Vin Diesel would be proud. Congratulations.

It's so much fun to talk to you. You can see Michelle Rodriguez in Dungeons & Dragons, Honor Among Thieves, which is in theaters now. Michelle Rodriguez, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. You're awesome. Lots of love. Thanks for having me. Take care. Cheers, guys.

Bye-bye. Bye. In just a minute, Bill cooks up the world's oldest meatball in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Zadab Johnson, Luke Burbank, and Matt Rogers.

And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. One more time. In just a minute, Bill signs up for the NPR Rhyme Club in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, it is time for a new game. And we are calling it, How Dumb is Artificial Intelligence? Everybody is asking if AI will ever be smart enough to replace us. But the real question is, is it dumb enough to replace us?

So we picked some things that real people said in this week's news, and then we had chat GPT, the chat bot, make up its own version. Your job, tell which of these dumb things the actual human said. If you do that, you get a point. Here we go. Luke, first one is for you. The town of Regina, Saskatchewan, recently came up with a new slogan for their tourism campaign. Here we go. Luke, first one is for you. The town of Regina, Saskatchewan, recently came up with a new slogan for their tourism campaign.

One of these is their actual slogan, one we asked the AI to come up with. Is it, Bill? Discover Regina, the heart of the prairies. Or, show us your Regina. Show us your Regina. I didn't think it could possibly go there on NPR. So, Luke, which of those was thought up by an actual human? I think show us your vagina.

That's right. Matt? Yeah. Matt? Yeah? We found an article from McGill University warning about possible treatments for baldness. Then we asked the chat GBT to warn us about a bad baldness treatment as well. Which one of these good pieces of advice

came from a human? Is it... There is no scientific evidence to support cow urine as a treatment for baldness. Or, no matter how bald you are, you are unlikely to consider castration as a treatment. Which one was the actual human? I think the human was the second one. You're right.

Wow. Most people should not consider castration as treatment. And let me tell you something, he's right. All right, Zainab, this last one is for you. This week, a megachurch pastor claimed to have regrown a woman's toes through the power of prayer. One of these is the woman's real reaction to this miracle, and one of them is what we asked the AI what it would say if its toes grew back.

So, is the human, Bill? I never thought I'd be able to walk again, let alone have toes. Or, I can stand on my tippy toes. I didn't have toes to tippy on. I'll go with tippy on. You're right. That's the human.

So that means three for three, our panelists picked the human. So now we know if ChatGPT is going to really take over for us humans, it's going to have to really lower its game. All right. And now for some questions about the rest of the week's news. Zainab, you've heard of expensive pre-fixed dinners. We've got those all over the place. In Manhattan right now, you can sign up for what new all-inclusive dining experience for $88 a person? Oh, dining in the dark? No, no. You can,

you can see, which may, depending on who you're dining with, not be the best idea. Oh my God. You can die naked. You are. It's a naked dinner party. Gross. Of course, these prefix naked dinner parties are vegan. So you can go all natural at dinner and not just in the confines of your apartment at 3 a.m. anymore. I'm honestly worried they got an idea by taking a peek through my windows. I gotta get curtains.

I feel like if I had to observe my naked body while I was eating, it would really change some of my behaviors. Right. You know, like, oh, that's where that crab cake's going to go. But you know, this will put all dry cleaning businesses out of business. It's true.

Yeah, I know. I mean, are you even allowed to have a napkin or does everybody just shower afterwards? I don't know. So everybody arrives fully clothed. They take all their clothes off to eat and then they all put their clothes back on and go home. It's like the world's most anticlimactic orgy. I will say though, this is the one time where when they're warning you, like the fajitas, it's very hot. Yeah. You want to pay attention to that. You and me. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank,

but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924, or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org, and you can come see us here live most weeks at the beautiful Studebaker Theatre in Chicago or April 27th in Nashville, Tennessee,

and May 25th in New Orleans, and the Wait, Wait! Stand-Up Tour that's coming to New York City and Boston April 27th and 28th. For information and tickets to all of these, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait! Don't Tell Me. Hey, Peter, this is John from San Diego, California. Hey, John, how are things in beautiful San Diego? It's wonderful, just getting a little break from the rain. Sure, I understand. Well, that will end, and then you'll have another beautiful, I don't know, eight months. Yes, it'll be fantastic. All right.

John, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play? Board ready. Hey, here is your first limerick. When the wrath of John Wick has been stirred, only punches and gunshots are heard.

The whole script is quite bare. There's no dialogue there. And he rarely speaks more than one... Word. Yes, word. The Wall Street Journal did an analysis of the new hit movie John Wick 4. And in that movie, biggest movie in the world, we are told,

the famously taciturn Keanu Reeves character speaks only 380 words in the entire two-and-a-half-hour movie, and not one of them is the word taciturn. For comparison, just so you know, Clint Eastwood's character in A Fistful of Dollars, who is famously silent, right, he says as many words in that movie as Keanu Reeves does in the first three John Wick movies combined.

As Keanu would say, yeah. I like the silent type. You do? You like men silent, confident, mass murderers? No, he has a purpose. Dog person. Dog person. Responsible. I like it.

Here is your next limerick. At our lab, we have got enough bandwidth to revive extinct meats for your sandwich. We took cells from old bones and some elephant clones. It's a meatball made from woolly mammoth. Yes, mammoth. If you like meatballs, but just think they're not extinct enough,

try the new mammoth meatballs. Hey, at least it's not mammoth tartare. The extinct meatballs were created in a lab using a cross between the DNA's not mammoth tartare. The extinct meatballs were created in a lab using a cross between the DNA of preserved mammoth muscle and modern elephants, so it's sort of a disgusting meat two-way combo. That is a weird... I mean, do we have the technology yet to... If they wanted to actually grow a...

Actual living mammoth? Actual living mammoth, could they do it? There are people, including some well-known tech billionaires, who are investing in the project to bring back mammoths. That's a thing they want to do. But this is not that. This is a meatball. This is basically what you have after you fought with your wife at Ikea.

Right. On the way out. Meatballs. They sell meatballs at Ikea. Right. On the way out. Meatballs. They sell meatballs at Ikea. Yeah. I hope the mammoth meatballs are at least proportional in terms of size. I want a meatball that could chase Indiana Jones down a tree. Here's your last limerick.

We all know just how anxious I get around people I haven't yet met. But the scent from their glands gives me strength to shake hands. I relax when I'm smelling some sweat. Yes, a new study has found that there is an actually easy and effective treatment for social anxiety. All you have to do is go up to a stranger and ask to sniff their armpit. Before you do that, alcohol also works. According to scientists, sweat and body odor contain molecules they call chemo or chemo signals, which help alleviate stress and level out moods. The research showed that smelling these chemo signals significantly reduced the subject's social anxiety. Now, that's true for the people doing the sniffing,

but the stress of the person who suddenly had a stranger in their armpit goes way up. Well, they're not a stranger anymore. That's true. Once they've taken a deep whiff of your pits, they're friends, man. You've bonded. Bill, how did John do on our quiz? John took a cue from San Diego's hero, Ron Burgundy, and got them all right. Hey!

Congratulations. Well done. Thank you. Take care. Thank you. Hey, it's Mike Danforth. Don't miss our recent bonus episode. It's an extended interview with political strategist and analyst David Axelrod.

Hear all the deeply researched, nuanced political questions we cut from his original appearance on the show. A number of things have changed since our first conversation back in 2009. And I just wanted to ask you as an expert, what the hell? If you're a Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus subscriber, you can listen to that episode now. And also in that episode, we give subscribers a pre-sale code for tickets to one of our upcoming shows. You have a few days left to take advantage of that.

Thanks for listening. Now back to the show. Now it is time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Matt and Zainab each have three.

Luke has four. Oh my goodness. All right, Matt and Zainab, you are tied for second place. Matt, I'm going to select you to go first. Oh. What I wanted. The clock will start when I begin your first question, Matt. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a judge ruled that Mike Pence must testify in the case against blank. Donald Trump. Yes. Following months of protests, Israeli Prime Minister Blank announced he was pausing plans for his judicial overhaul. Netany Trump. Yes. Following months of protests, Israeli Prime Minister blank announced he was pausing plans for his judicial overhaul.

Netanyahu. Yes. This week, the Senate voted to repeal congressional authorization for the 2003 invasion of blank. Iraq. Yes. On Wednesday, lawmakers in North Carolina

overrode a law requiring blank buyers to get a permit from the local sheriff. A gun. Yes. A man who tried to rob a bank in downtown Chicago was caught when a woman told police she blanked. Saw that man.

She did, but what she told police is that right before the robbery, he had stopped to flirt with her and gave her his phone number. Yeah. That's the Chicago way. According to a new study,

rapidly melting ice in blank could affect the ocean for centuries. The North Pole. The South Pole on Tuesday. An appeals court reinstated the conviction of Adnan Syed, the subject of the podcast.

Serial, baby. Yes, indeed. This week, models at a fashion show in Milan ended their runway walk by blanking. Slaying. No. They ended their walk down the runway by turning backwards and doing a trust fall into the audience. Slaying. No. They ended their walk down the runway by turning backwards and doing a trust fall into the audience. Slaying.

We're clearly not from the same community. The Italian fashion house Sune highlighted their new collection this week and had models end their runway walk by doing trust falls into the audience. Okay, the good news, they're light if they fall on you. The bad news, they're light if they fall on you. The bad news, they are bony.

Bill, how did Matt do on our quiz? He did really well. Five right, Matt. Ten more points. Total of 13 puts you in the lead. That's better than last time. I'm in the double digits. You are. Alright, Zainab, you are up next.

Phil in the Blank. On Thursday, a correspondent for the Wall Street Journal was detained in blank on accusations of spying. Russia. Yes. On Wednesday, the Vatican said that blank had been hospitalized for a lung infection. The Pope. Yes.

This week, a vegan in Maine was told by police that his vanity license plate was obscene because it said blank. No. Oh, I remember this. And yet. No meat. No.

His license plate, quite innocently, he thought, said, Love Tofu or Love 2FU. On Thursday, Major League Baseball held their opening game, the first to feature rules changes and bigger blanks. That? No, that would be funny, though. Bigger bases. This week, a driver in Minnesota failed to get out of a traffic stop,

even though he gave the officer blank. A kiss. A get-out-of-jail-free card. Police were not convinced. When the driver handed over the get-out-of-jail-free card with his license, they wound up giving him a ticket. But that's okay. The driver has a ton of leftover money from winning second place in that beauty contest.

Bill, how did Zainab Johnson do in our quiz? She got two right, four more points, total of seven trails, Matt. All right. How many then? It's fine. How many then does Luke need to take it away from Matt?

Five to win. Come on, bro. All right, Luke, this is for the game. On Thursday, the House passed a GOP energy bill aimed at reversing President Biden's blank policies. Environmental. Close enough. Climate change. Despite warnings from China, the president of blank visited the U.S. during a diplomatic trip to Central America.

Taiwan? Yes. Leaders of eight European countries called on executives to intensify the fight against misinformation on blank apps. Social media. Right. Amsterdam launched a campaign aimed at deterring rowdy men from blank from visiting. Rowdy men from Ireland. Oh, close.

England. A family in Canada came home from vacation this week to find out that blank had moved into their home. A grizzly bear. A wild goat. According to a new study, living with cats and dogs may lower a child's risk of blank. Depression?

No, food allergies. On Wednesday, astronomers announced the discovery of one of the largest blanks ever recorded. Black hole. Yes. This week, a woman in England renovating her bathroom was shocked when she removed the walls of her shower and discovered a blank. A wild goat.

No. Another shower. Another shower behind it, complete with fixtures. Whoa. Yeah. A woman had originally decided to renovate the bathroom because they were noticing some strange leaks. The reason became apparent when they removed the wall and discovered a completely new shower

hidden behind their shower. That must be why the listing for the house said two bedroom, two baths, and then just a bunch of winky face emojis. Bill, did Luke do well enough to win? Well, he got four right, eight more points. A total of 12 means he's won back. Guess who won? 12 means he's won back. Guess who won? Yeah! Matt! All right!

In just a minute, our panelists predict after Gwyneth Paltrow's, what will be the next purely entertaining celebrity trial? Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeka, Reza Lemarex, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman,

our tour manager is Shana Donald, thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre, BJ Lederman composed our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King, special thanks to Sari Beliak and Monica Hickey, our Gwyneth Paltrow is Peter Paltrow Gwyn. Our intern is

Vaishnavi Naidoo, technical direction from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Yeller Danforth. Now panel, what would be the next big, really fun celebrity trial? Luke Burbank.

Guy Fieri will be hauled into court when it comes to light that he rigged the election for mayor of Flavortown. Zaynab Johnson. Oh, I think... I think celebrities will start having to go to court to answer for their bad work. And our champion, Matt Rogers.

Lady Gaga will be suing herself for psychological torture she experienced at Matt Rogers. Lady Gaga will be suing herself for psychological torture she experienced at the hands of Lady Gaga during the filming of Joker Folia 2. Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell. Thank you, Bill Curtis.

Thanks also to Zainab Johnson, Matt Rogers, Luke Burbank. Thanks to all of you for listening. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Victor Theatre. We'll see you next week. Thank you. This is NPR.