Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper

Episode Date: November 22, 2025

This week, Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper join Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Zach Zimmerman, and Faith SalieLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

This message comes from Rethinking, a podcast from TED. Organizational psychologist Adam Grant asks today's greatest minds about their fascinating ideas on leadership, joy, resilience, and more. They might just challenge your assumptions. Listen to Rethinking. From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the voice so intoxicating you need to stop operating heavy machinery. Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater

and the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. We've got a great show for you today, but first, Thanksgiving is coming up on Thursday, and we want to take this opportunity to remind you, you have just a few days left to come up with a single thing to be thankful for this year. How about K-pop demon hunters? That was pretty good, right? You'll think of something. One thing you could be thankful for every year is bagels and lox,

which is why we'll be talking to the owners of Russ and daughters, a legendary Jewish food shop in New York's Lower East Side. But first, we want to serve you up some tidbits from the news. Give us a call at 1-3-8-8-8-8-9-2-5. That's 1-8-8-8-9-2. 4-8-924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me. Hi, this is Tracy Kinchelow from Louisville, Kentucky. Oh, I love Louisville. What do you do there? I'm a middle school teacher. Oh, my God. You are the bravest of the brave to voluntarily enter a middle school. What grade do you

teach, Tracy, six, seven? Which one? Oh, my gosh. Today was the 67th day of school. Oh, I'm so sorry. You're a saint. Well, welcome to our show, Tracy. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, her comedy album, Yell Ajoy, is available on blonde medicine and your favorite streaming platform.

It's Joelle Nicole Johnson. Hi, Tracy. Next, a contributor to CBS Sunday morning and host of the Audible Original Enliened. It's Faith Saley. Hi, Tracy. I have two middle schoolers, so thank you for your service.

And we are delighted to welcome back to our show, comedian and author of, is it Hutton here, or am I suffering for all eternity for the sins I committed on earth? It's Zach Zimmerman. Hi, Tracy. I'm not allowed around middle schools anymore.

Well, Tracy, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I think so. Okay. Your first quote is from a 40-year-old NBA superstar right after making sports history this week. That just made my back hurt. So what Los Angeles Laker has now played in more NBA seasons than anyone else ever?

I would love to be an NBA fan, but the season is entirely too long. was it was it lebron james it was it was lebron james yes on tuesday night lebron james broke an NBA record when he started his 23rd season in the league i know you were worried i was going to say on tuesday night lebron james broke both of his hips but this is how long he has been playing when lebron was a rookie many of his current opponents were not yet born oh my god It's absolutely true. He's going to play a team this week that has seven people on it that were not born in his rookie season. It must be so frustrating for LeBron when those younger players like don't understand his Seinfeld-based trash talk references. Like when he goes up to block

a dunk and shouts, no soup for you. That's funny because LeBron is 40 and as a 44-year-old, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a little. I'm a I would just like to say, he should probably quit soon because he is about to go through perimenopause. You know what? Let's just slap some estrogen patches on him and give him another five years. Absolutely.

I hope he stays in the game for as long as possible because as not a sports fan as well, Tracy. He's one of the ones I know. Yes. So the longer he sticks around, I can stay relevant. It's funny because he's old, but do you know he has like a handshake for every person he has ever met?

Like a different handshake? Yes, and they're elaborate. He's going up and down. He must have met a lot of people. He's 40 years old. Yeah, they have a compilation of this on the internet of LeBron giving different handshakes, and the handshakes are like 20, 30 seconds long.

So I think he's staving off dementia with these handshakes. It's probably true. All right, here is your next quote. Fusili freaks are scrambling. That was New York Magazine talking about news that terrorists may soon result in terrible shortages of Fusili and all Italian what?

Pasta? Yes, pasta. According to the Wall Street Journal, quote, Italian pasta is poised to disappear, which is also what I say when I sidle up to a big bowl Fetuccini Alfredo. Apparently, this is because there's going to be big tariffs

that are going to hit Italian pasta. We don't know why the U.S. government is messing with the price of pasta. That's traditionally the mafia's job. But the tariff is seen as a present to the American pasta industry, right? Which explains why at the big state dinner this week, the president was seated right next

to chef boyardee. What's the Olive Garden gonna do? Will the never-ending pasta bowl end? Well, but they're good old American pasta. Yeah, the bottomless... I love that you thought Olive Garden got their pasta from Italy. They have a school.

They have a school. They have a school in Italy? Everything I've ordered from there was made from scratch in Sicily by an Italian grandma, fourth generation, and frozen and put in a pouch and de-thawed and mixed with salt and sadness

and served to me on every birthday graduation of my childhood in Roanoke, Virginia. I fell asleep through that explanation. I'll still do that to you. All right, your last quote is someone commenting on some breakthrough news in the animal world this week. Looking forward to watching their grandchildren argue about dogs versus cats versus raccoons someday?

That was in response to a scientific study came out, suggesting that raccoons are on their way to becoming what? Pets. Yes, pets. Researchers have found that raccoons seem to be evolving towards domestication, just like dogs and cats did way back when. So this means you could soon have a raccoon in your inside trash cans. Scientific American reports raccoons that live in your...

humans have evolved floppier ears, shorter snouts, and softer features. Basically, they're getting cuter. Scientists say this means they could soon live alongside us in our homes, while raccoons say, but here's the thing. They don't say that. They don't say that. And I know that because I live in New York City, and they are just brazen. They are no, they're no longer nocturnal. If I'm running around Central Park in the morning, they're up. They're just looking at me from a trash can. They don't hiss.

They don't even can. I'm just saying, are you sure they're raccoons and not very large rats wearing a mask? So you're saying if I eat trash, I'll become adorable? You could try. At your age, Zach, it's worth a try. But I like this idea as a New Yorker because a lot of city people get, their noses made cuter. Yes, that's true.

Right? It's very urban. Although I don't think that's how it's happening. I don't think the raccoons are looking at each other and going, Phil, did you have worked on? You know, there's a little Thanksgiving trivia aspect to this. Oh, please. Calvin Coolidge in 1926 was given a raccoon from someone from Mississippi to have for Thanksgiving

dinner. Really? And Calvin Coolidge said, no, it's really cute. And he and his wife named it Rebecca. and Rebecca the raccoon was beloved by Americans for his whole presidency. There you go. That's why they say don't look a gift raccoon in the mouth. Mouse.

What is it? They're always saying it. Look it up. Bill, how did Tracy do in her quiz? Well, she is middle school perfect. I'm sure she can be proud of. Congratulations, Tracy. Thank you so much for playing.

And thanks for the brave work you do. Thank you. Bye, bye. Right now, panel, that it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joy L, scientists announced this week that we now know it was about 20 million years ago that our most ancient ancestors first did what? 20 million years ago. Anywhere from like 17 to 20 million years, they think.

Set a fire. No, this was before fire. Oh, this is a... Wheel. This is something that people tend... This is something that a lot of people like to do, say, next to a roaring fire. Ooh, have sexual relations. I was about to say you're close, but I don't know if that's the right thing, but I'll give it to you.

The answer is kissing. That's a sexual relation. It is. Then I've got to up my number. I've got to up my body counts. Yeah. No, according to a pair of suspiciously rumpled scientists coming out of their life, laugh. The very first kiss happened somewhere between 17 and 21 million years ago with some

of our distant primate ancestors. Can you imagine what everybody else was watching that day thought? It was like, oh, come on, you two. Invent a room. How the heck do they figure that out? It's like somebody's diary? Dear diary, Og and I pressed our lips together. They have an English accent. Exactly, they do. Well, I mean, not all of them, but I figured a diarist would be pretty sophisticated, right? No, actually, it's a good question.

They did it through genetics tracing. They looked at animals today that kiss, including ourselves and chimps and bonobos, and then they traced certain genetic lineages back. through time to figure out, like, when the first animal might have been that we all descended from that might have had that behavior, and they estimate, again, 17 to 21 million years ago. Those scientists know we need to cure cancer, right? What if the cures a kiss? What if the cures a kiss?

What if the cures a kiss? You never know. And this is interesting, because the way science works, to do this study, they had to define kissing, right? since there are other behaviors where mouths might touch. And here's what they came up with, the scientific definition of kissing. Quote, non-aggressive mouth-to-mouth contact

that does not involve food transfer, unquote. I just got to say, not the way I do it. Oh, man. Coming up, we'll have your people talk to my people in our beloved listener game Call 1-3-8 Wait-Wait-Wait to Play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait-Wa-W-Don't-Tell-Me from NPR.

Hey, it's Peter. Now, if you are anything like our typical fan, you must be an enthusiastic evangelist for our show. You tell everybody about it. You grab strangers on the street. You lean into cars with open windows and say, hey, have you ever heard about as they drive away? There's a much simpler and less dangerous way

to spread the news about our show. if you're a fan. Just go to the podcast site that you get this from and rate us and review us. People really dig that. So if you like, wait, wait, remember to rate us and review us. But, you know, positively. This message comes from Wise, the app for using money around the globe. When you manage your money with Wise, you'll always get the mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees. Join millions of customers and visit Wise.com. T's and Cs apply. This message comes from Hyperfixed, a Radiotopia podcast. In each episode, host Alex Goldman sets himself on a listener's unsolvable problem

and explores the hidden systems that created that problem in the first place. Subscribe to Hyperfixed, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Peter Sagle. Last time I didn't ask me anything, I got asked about my first job, my favorite Star Trek episode, Best Fillin Host, and Cheese. So what do you want to know? Call and leave us your question at 1-3-A wait-wait. We might answer it in a future bonus episode.

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Subscribe now at npr.org slash podclub. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Faith Sealy, Joyelle, Nicole Johnson, and Zach Zimmerman. And here to get us your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Seigold. Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much, everybody.

Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-3-8 Wait-Wait to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Kevin from San Mateo, California. Yeah, that's great. What do you do there? I'm a high school history teacher. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, yet another one.

My class reacts the same way after every lesson. I know. And so what kind of history do you teach? I teach United States history. Oh, I didn't realize that was still allowed. It is. Oh, good. There's some good days and bad days.

You tread lightly, but yes. Oh, well, Kevin, it's great to have you, Kevin. You are here to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Kevin's topic? A star is born. This week, a rising star signed with a big Hollywood agent. That's the huge honor and stuff. stepping stone where you give someone 10% of your money in exchange for them maybe at some point

returning your phone call. Our panelists are going to tell you who just got representation. Pick the one who's telling the truth you'll win the weight waiter of your choice and your voicemail. You're ready to play. I'm ready. Thank you. All right. Then let's start then with Faith Saly. All hail the Spurtle. The Spurtle is a wooden Scottish kitchen tool dating from the 15th century used to stir porridge. But it's so much more. Unlike the pathetic spatula, the spurtle can scrape, scoop, smash, spread, whisk, but mostly whack. And after a hearty bidding war, the spurtle is the newest star to be signed by CAA. The utensil's modern resurgence began when Andrew Huberman mentioned the spurtle in hour five of his podcast last week.

Not only is the tool multi-purpose, it also has a sexy backstory where Scottish wives used their spurtles to spank their husbands. Ooh, sexy and a little bad? Watch out, Billy Bob Thornton. If you want to stuff your man stalking with one, you'd better get on a wait list. Alexander McQueen sold out of its $3,000 spurtles, and rumor has it that Timothy Salome is about to propose to Kylie, not with a ring, but with a golden Spurtle. The Spurtle is the hot new kitchen utensil of the moment

just signed with CAA. Your next Talon Agent Tale comes from Zach Zimmerman. Move over Mozilla. Get out of here, Gouda. There's a new Italian bombshell rolling onto the red carpet. According to the Hollywood reporter, Talent Agency

UTA has just signed Parmigiano Reggiano. The next name on everyone's lips and accidentally sprinkled on everyone's laps. The Parmigiano Reggiano Consortium, which regulates the production of the cheese and sounds sort of sinister, signed with the agency to explore product placement opportunities in TV and movies. Imagine if Glinda didn't travel by bubble but was rolled around in a wheel of Parmigiano Reggiano. Or if when Harry meets Sally at Katz's deli, the I'll have what she's having was a sensible Caesar salad.

With Parmigiano Regiano. The cheese has been made the same way in only five regions. of Italy for over a thousand years, which proves true that in Hollywood, to be an overnight success, it takes 1,000 years. Parmigiano Reggiano, the delicious cheese, has signed with UTA. Your last star getting signed comes from Jail Nicole Johnson. Union High School in the Diner Capital of the World, my home state, New Jersey, has signed with WME.

Why? It was one of the main filming locations of Shock Jock Howard Stern's raunchy feature private parts. Filmed in 1997, the movie's popularity has surged after being name-checked by Mr. Beasts, the viral sensation who might be the actual devil. At one of his zany pranks, he locked two people in the private part school for three months. It seemed like a random plank, but yet the video has 50 billion views. This stunt made his fans lock in, and now the high school is a hot spot for niche travelers all over the world. WME saw potential as the perfect location for any town

USA, period pieces since in true New Jersey fashion, it hasn't changed this facade since the mid-20th century. If it ain't broke, sign it to an agency. And now the entire summer calendar is booked for filming everything from commercials to movies, with the caveat that the money won't be used to fix the school at all. Sorry, students, hope you enjoy writing essays on the oldest computers in the world. All right. Some rising star got an agent this week. Was it from Faith Saly, the Spurtle, the Scottish porridge utensil,

signing with CAA, from Zach Zimmerman, Parmigiano Reggiano, that, you know, cheese signing with UTA, or the high school from private parts, which, according to Joyell, signed with WME,

Which of these was the thing that landed an agent in Hollywood this week? I'm going to have, even though I'm a hearty Gouda man, I'm going to have to pick Zach's Parmesan Reggiano. You're going to pick a Zach story there of the cheese, getting representation. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone familiar with that real newly minted star. When I go to pizza places, I'll still use the shaker parmigiano my pizza, but Parmigiano and Reggiano is the real deal. Yeah, that was Kelly Freemeyer, General.

manager and cheese monger at beautiful Rind in Chicago talking about the new star, Parmigiano Reggiano. For further inquiries, please go to their agent at United Talent Agency. Congratulations, Kevin. You got it right. You're a point for Zach just for telling the truth in a charming way. And you've won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose in your voicemail. Well done, sir. Thank you very much, guys.

Great playing with you. Take care. You too. All the best. And now the game we call Not My Job. For more than a hundred years, there has been a store on Houston Street on New York's Lower East Side called Russ and daughters appetizers. They sell bagels and smoked fish of every variety and chopped liver

and every Jewish delicacy imaginable. Today, this store is owned by two members of the fourth generation of the Russ family who have expanded their business into the interest. and age, but we'll never, ever, ever put ham and cheese on a bagel. Nikki Russ Fetterman and John Russ Tupper, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks for having me, it's freedom. Okay. First things first.

I want to get this out of the way. I know you're sensitive about it. Your store sells bagels and locks and chopped liver and cream cheese, but you are not a deli. That's correct. Why not, and how do you punish people who call you one? Well, we work with very sharp knives. Yes. So, you know, you want to stay away if you cross us.

But we're an appetizing store. And appetizing is the sister food tradition to delicatessen. So if you're thinking of corned beef and pastrami, that's delicatessen. If you're thinking of bagels and locks, that's appetizing. Right. It's a funny word, but it's for delicious food. I am fairly Jewish, I guess. And I grew up, nobody ever said you want to get some appetizing?

But where did you grow up, Peter? I grew up in New Jersey and in Boston, back and forth. All right, which is not New York. It's true. And appetizing is a classic New York invention. Okay. The word comes actually from the Yiddish word, for spice, which means appetizers. But probably a Yiddish speaker, someone like our great-grandfather, was trying to translate for spice.

And instead of saying appetizers said appetizing, and that's what stuck. And Peter, Peter, you're Jewish. We call it Jew-ish. That's right. Jew, I'm not really committed. I'm just Jewish. Yeah, I know. I don't know appetizing.

How can I be truly Jew? Correct. You mentioned your great-grandfather. Your great-grandfather, the original Russ, he started selling creamed herring from a push cart on the Lower East Side? He was selling schmaltz herring, which is a salt-cured herring. and at that time, like, heavily salted. So you did not need refrigeration

and could sell it from a push cart. So he would go around with a push cart with herring, so salted it wouldn't rot, and people bought it. Exactly. Right, exactly. Wow. It were tough times, Peter.

I understand. It was tough times. It was wrapped in the newspaper. That's how it came packaged. In newspaper. In newspaper. Made it even more delicious. the ink in there.

It's the house that herring built. Exactly. Do you still sell Schmaltz herring in the store? We do. We do. And actually Anthony Bourdain, the late great Anthony Bourdain, who was a dear customer and loved Russ and daughters deeply, he, of all the things,

he once ate his way down our counter. Right. All of the different smoked fish and salmons. And the thing that he loved the most was the Schmaltz herring, which is basically like, it's kind of like a giant anchovy. It's that kind of intense, salty umami. And he said, it's so primal. It connects you to your ancestors. So we definitely still have it. You are the fourth generation in the family to own

and operated. But you're relatively young. And as you said, your customers, some of them must be very elderly. Your store's been there for a long time. Do they ever give you a hard time? Like, what are you doing? That's not how you do that here. That's not how you slice a schmaltzhering. Let me show you. Yes. Our customers, for, you know, if someone that's been shopping there for 60 years longer than I am alive,

have a lot to say about how we're doing things. We have created the most difficult customers in the world, I like to say. For better or for worse. Have they ever given you any good wisdom to chew on? I'm sure they have. I couldn't. I mean, of course, every stereotype of all

Literally Jews is running to my head. Like, here's a tip for you. This is cheaper across the street. For those who haven't been to the original store, it's a small store, it's long, it's narrow. There's a very long line, right? And so when you get to the front, you don't want to waste time, right?

So can you guys, like, tell me the appropriate way to order your bagel or your sliced fish like a professional? Know what you want ahead of time. Yeah. You can ask for a taste of one kind of salmon, but don't ask for three or four. Okay. Look at the bagels and know what kind of bagel you want, so we don't have to say, poppy, plain, sesame onion, everything, whole wheat, pumper-niggle, and go through the whole list.

This is how we would like people to order, but the true professional is the 85-year-old man or woman that comes in and says, give me a taste of every single time. of salmon. And can I get a taste of a bagel? And then they walk out. One last question. Obvious idea for you guys. You go to Dunkin' Donuts. They got your donuts.

You got your donut holes. I've never been to an appetizing where they have bagels and bagel holes. Why not? That's very funny. We just taught a bagel class with a bunch of people and we were rolling bagels by hand and showing people how to roll bagels.

by hand. And then there are all these misshapen, funny bagels that people rolled by hands. Then there was this little ball. And I was like, who made this one? And this woman raised their hand. I was like, what is this? A bagel hole? We have never tried it, but I think that might be being

baked right now. Yeah, I was about to say you have to split the royalties between that lady and me. Innovation comes to us and daughters once every 100 years. Exactly. And it's due. Well, Nikki, and Josh, it is a pleasure to kibbets with you about

bagels and such, but we have asked you here to play a game we're calling. Lox, meet locks. You were both famous experts in picking out the most delicious locks, so we're going to ask you about an expert in picking the other kind of locks. That would be Harry Houdini. Answer two

to three questions right, and you will win our prize for one of our listeners. Any voice they might choose for their voicemail. Bill, who are Nikki and Josh playing for? Ben Rill of Boston, Massachusetts. All right. Well. I'm glad he's from Boston and we won't feel so bad if we lose. Yeah.

Here's your first question. You were allowed to collaborate or argue depending on how you get along. Houdini was, of course, the world's most famous escape artist, and he escaped from many unusual places during his career, including which of these? A, the belly of a whale, B, a working furnace, or C, a really awkward dinner party. I would say it's a working furnace. I agree. So you're thinking the working furnace that's on fire, he gets thrown in.

No, it was the belly of a whale. What? A whale washed up on a shore in Boston and a bunch of rich businessmen, including a taxidermist, carried it to Houdini's theater and said, try to get out of that. And he did. And then he went back to Nineveh to preach the MacGospel.

He did. Two more questions. Houdini actually challenged the public to come up with things for him to escape from. and it got dangerous. He almost died when he accepted one challenge to escape from a barrel filled with what? A, beer, B, B's, or C, styrofoam peanuts.

I would say beer. So what do you think, Nick? You agree it's beer? I'll go, you know, in cousin unity, I'll stick with... We have a better chance. I think if we pick two, Right? We could still win. So is it, are you going to agree that it's beer?

Yes. It is beer. Very good. Yes. He didn't drink, Houdini. So he swallowed some. That was a problem. And the carbon dioxide made it hard to breathe. And, well, basically, he almost suffocated. But he got out. Your last question, if you get this right, you win.

Houdini once sued a police officer who said that he bribed people to fake his escapes, right? Oh, he's not going to stand for that. So he sued. And he won his case by opening. the judge's safe in the middle of the courtroom. He later revealed he pulled off this trick how. A, Houdini had the exact same model of safe at home. B, he had a friend look up the judge's wife's birthday ahead of time

so we could figure out the combination or see the safe wasn't locked to begin with. Here you go, thank you. What do you got? Put it on me. I think it's the wife's birthday because I'm really bad about coming up with good passwords. I also shouldn't be telling this, too.

Russ and daughters. Password one. I think it wasn't locked. You think it wasn't locked? So, Nikki, you're going to go for the wife's birthday to presumably guess the combination. Yeah, let's divide and conquer on this one. Very good.

Actually, it turns out that Josh was right. It wasn't locked. they brought out the safe he said ta-da and he opened it up won the case everybody was amazed and Houdini a lady revealed actually it wasn't even locked there you go

Bill how did Nikki and Josh do in our quiz two out of three that means you're a winner we'll pay you in bagels yes polls to Newcastle oh and by the way before we let you go Nikki what is your birthday Nikki Russ

Fetterman and Josh Russ Tupper are the owners of Russ and Daughters, the legendary store in New York, and two of the authors of Russ and daughters, 100 years of appetizing a new cookbook. Nikki Russ Federman and Josh Rust Tupper, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, wait, wait, don't tell you. Thank you. Such a pleasure to talk to you. I look forward to coming by the next time and taking my number.

See you soon. Bye-bye. Thanks, guys. In just a minute, what a tank. Engled web we weave in our listener in Limer Challenge game. Call 1-Tu-A-W-A-W-W-T-W-W-T to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait-W-W-W-T-T-L-Me from NPR. From NPR.

Sealy, Zach Zimmerman, and Joy L. Nicole Johnson. And here again, as your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, is Peter Sagal. Thank you so much, Bill. Thank you, everybody, in just a minute. Bill is named Poet Laureate of our show in the listener Limerick Challenge Game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-4. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Joyel, you know, we have bodybuilding competitions, right? We have cross-fit tournaments. World's strongest man tournaments. The latest thing in contests is to test the strength of what? Like a bike seat. No. I'm sorry. Out of the universe of things that the answer could be to test the

strength of, you chose a bicycle seat? Listen, bicycle seats are racist and sexist. I will say this. they are not for a black woman's butt, okay? I need a new bicycle seat. Bicycle seat, final answer. I'd say it was right if I was you, Peter. You're right, yeah, bicycle seats. No, I'll give you a hint. Oh, he's yippy, but he's a dynamo.

Dogs? Yeah, little tiny dogs. The strength of a dog? The strength of chihuahuas. What, do you box them? and, like, box them up? Or how you find out you put, like, weights on them? Sort of, kind of.

This is the 10 pounds and under division of the North American Weight Pull Association Championships. Top chihuahuas can pull over 50 times their own body weight. Whoa. That is the equivalent of an adult male also doing something he really shouldn't be doing. Is Peter where it is? Because that sounds like they would be upset.

Do these chihuahuas want to do this? Apparently, they're enthusiastic. I mean, all dogs want to work, right? I mean, it does seem like the kind of thing you do for dogs in the Editarod, and it's so cool to see Chihuahua is doing it, because usually they're the sort of thing that is fed to the dogs in the Iditarod. Zach, I have a question for you. Zach, just weeks after the famous heist at the Louvre Museum, the museum suffered another embarrassment. This week, as two men managed to get inside and do what?

It wouldn't have been a robbery. No, in many ways it was the opposite of a robbery. A gift. Yes. They actually broke into the Louvre to hang up one of a robbery. of their own paintings. And not only that, but they hung it in the same room with the Mona Lisa.

So these two Belgian pranksters managed to sneak a framed self-portrait of the two of them into the museum, and they hung it next to the Da Vinci masterpiece. Staff knew that something had to be wrong when they noticed people leaving the Mona Lisa room

not looking disappointed. Damn, Leo catching strays. Anyway, the painting was up on the wall for less than three minutes before security noticed what it was going on and sent a team to take it down. And while they were doing that, a second pair of people managed to steal another $100 million for the two weeks.

Zach, this week we learned about a new clothing line that the fashion world is obsessed with. It's a collection of knitwear made exclusively from the wool of sheep, which are what? The wool of sheep, which are boy. They are boys, all of them. Gay sheep. They are, in fact, gay sheep.

This feels targeted. Are these randomly assigned? This feels quite targeted, I might say. And that's in bad taste. It turns out sheep, just like humans, do gay stuff, a bunch. And to celebrate this, a fashion designer

and the app grind teamed, I was going to call it a dating app. Is that right? It's a meditation app. Yeah. Considering. They teamed up to debut a 37-piece knitwear collection made exclusively from the wool of gay Rams.

I love the casting call. All right, let's see what you go. Never mind. How do you confirm that they're gay? Are they self-identifying? Well, one is wearing a Native American headdress. One is wearing a mustache and looks like a police officer. So basically the way it works is any given flock of sheep

has a lot of ewes but not many rams and sometimes the rams just aren't interested. They call them confirmed bachelors. You started it. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. Everybody sit down. There's no reason to clap so loudly for that.

Standing Ovate, you're too kind to Peter. Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-3-8-8-Wa-W-W-T. That's 1-88-9-24. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago, or please catch us on the road. We'll be in Phoenix, Arizona, on December 4th for tickets and information about all our live events. Go to nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone, wait, wait, wait, don't tell me.

Hi, this is Emma, and I'm calling from Syracuse, New York. Syracuse is a lovely place upstate. Yes, very snowy. I ask with some anticipation, what do you do there? I am an orchestra teacher. Hussaw! Peeo, p, p, pio! Yay!

You said you teach orchestra in middle school? Yes, in elementary. Oh, wow. So the very beginners up until they get to high school. You are the most patient soul alive. Do you have to practice not cringing? My poker face is very good. I bet.

I bet. Well, Emma, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to go? I sure am.

Here is your first limerick. The silky strands flutter and ab. Its makers are spider celebs. This underground cave is an insect's mass grave. We've just found the world's largest... Web. Right! Scientists have discovered the biggest spider web of all time.

And no, it is in a cave in Europe. It is not the one you just walked into in your garage. It's massive. It covers more than 1,000 square feet. It has a three-car garage and an open-concept kitchen. Do they know how many spiders made it? Tens of thousands. Oh my gosh.

And spiders are down there. And what I'm thinking about is like tens of thousands of spiders make a big web. Like how many flies do they expect it would be dumb enough to go down there? Yeah. Did it say some, some, some, really, really, that is some pig. Here is your next limerick. This king of the beasts and his sion. might take fingers or hands as a buy-in.

This feline cafe has large beasts of prey. Grab a snack and try petting a... Lion. Yes, a lion. For anyone who loves a cat cafe, but feels they lack an element of danger, there's a new lion cafe in China. For just $150, guests are invited to eat and drink

while cuddling up with lions. You get a four-course meal, complete with drink pairings. Bad news, you are the fourth course. Are they sedated? No. What the heck? Now, they are lion cubs.

We need baby lions. Right. The only real danger, let's be honest, is like too many people picking up the damn thing, holding it up and start singing the song from the lion came. Sing it.

Absolutely not All right All right Here is your last limerick See Sam, my best friend Just go flutterby Don't sigh Roll your eyes and then mutter

Why Does he go really far Or just to a bar I am tracking my personal Fly A kind of fly rhymes with flutter by... Oh, butterfly.

Butterfly, yes. We can now track individual monarch butterflies as they migrate thousands of miles to and from Mexico. Scientists are able to do this thanks to tiny, tiny little sensors, each about the size of three grains of rice

that can be attached to the butterfly. Best part, all of this information from these thousands of butterflies as they fly is available in real time to any of us via an app. So if you have a special monarch in your life, you can find out if it's cheating on you. Let's get engaged.

Here's a butterfly that I want you to keep on you at all times. Bill, how did Emma do on our quiz? Emma, orchestrated that perfectly, three in a row. What a win. Well done, Emma. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Thank you. And thanks for playing.

We have arrived at our final game. Lightning, fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Faith has two.

Joyell and Zach each have three. Okay. So, Faith, you are in second place. Okay. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump signed a bill

to release all the blank files. Epstein. Right. On Monday, the U.N. Security Council adopted the U.S.'s peace plan for Blank. Gaza. Right. This week, the White House hosted a lavish state visit for the crown prince of blank. Saudi Arabia. Right. On Monday, the new prime minister of blank said she only sleeps two hours a night. Oh.

New Zealand? No, Japan. This week, a man in China who cryogenically froze his wife in 2017 has announced blank. Oh, that he's in love with somebody new. Yes, he is. And people are mad. According to health experts, a new variant means the U.S. is in for a severe blank season. Flu. Right. On Tuesday, it was announced that after 40 years, Cher would once

again be the musical guest on blank. Once again. Yes. On the Sunny and Cher show. No. If I could turn back time. Saturday Night Live. This week, a man in France

took a wrong turn on the way to the doctor and ended up in blank. Ended up in bed with Emmanuel Macron and his wife, Brigitte. Nice. No, after that.

He ended up in Croatia. This man in France had just a 12-minute drive to his doctor, but apparently made the mistake of listening to his GPS and instead drove over 900 miles and through two countries ending up in Croatia. See, this is what you get when you ask Google Maps to find you colonoscopies nowhere near me. Said avoid tolls.

Exactly. Should have said, avoid tolls and avoid Croatia. Bill, how did Faith do in our quiz? Five, right. Ten more points. Total of 12 puts her in the lead. Zach, you are up next. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, people gathered in Washington, D.C. for the funeral of former Vice President Blank.

Dick Cheney. Right. On Wednesday, Trump's prosecuting attorney admitted that the full grand jury did not see the final indictment against Blank. Comey. Right. Despite a lack of evidence, the CDC's website now says there may be a link between vaccines and blank. Autism. Right. This week, the group behind the Academy Award sent out a note reminding voters to please blank before voting. Watch the movies. Exactly. This week, the second blank movie set box office records.

Oh, wicked. Right. On Monday, Vogue announced that costume art would be the theme of the 2026 blank gala. Met. Right. A toy company pulled its AI-powered talking teddy bear from shelves after researchers discovered it could tell children how to blank. Transfer food. No. between their mouths.

No, they found that this AI-powered talking teddy bear would tell children how to find knives. Oh, my God. What? For me, the problem isn't that Kuma the Teddy Bear told kids, quote, you can find knives in a kitchen drawer or a knife block on a countertop. It's that he followed it up with, you can hide knives in the river after you've done what must be done. Bill, how did Zach do in our quiz? Zach is hot.

Six right. 12 more points. 15 is the total. And how many then does Joyell need to win? Six to tie, seven to win. Let's go. Let's go. We know how good I am at this. There we go, Joyal. We look forward to this every time.

Fill in the blank, Joyelle. On Thursday, meetings began in Kiev aimed at ending the war in blank. I don't know where Keith is. It's in Ukraine. This week, the White House rolled back Biden-era protections for blanks, and their habitats. Blanks?

Blanks and their habitats. Chimpanzees. No, endangered species. There aren't any of them here. Over 200 people have been arrested since blank raids began in Charlotte, North Carolina. Ugh, ice. Right, after they couldn't resolve

a year-long custody dispute a judge in Delaware made a divorced couple blank. Get divorced again. No, made them bid on their beloved golden doodle. On Monday, Novor Nordisk announced it was lowering the price. for weight loss drug, blank. Ozempic.

Right. According to a new study, Moss survived for nine months in blank. Ozempic needles. No, in space. This week, everyone is okay after a man pulled out a gun during an argument about blank.

Russ and daughters bagels. Oh, you'd think. No, about how many eggs a chicken can lay in a day? That would have been my second. We don't know why this group of friends at a bar in Florida started arguing over the breeding habits of chickens,

but we do know one of the friends took the argument very seriously. That's got to be an awkward moment in the group chat the next morning. Man, I was so drunk last night. I didn't start a fight about chickens and then pull a gun again, right? Yay! How'd I do, Bill? Not very well.

You're on our team, Joyal. You got two right, four more points, seven total. And that means Zach is this week's chance. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict after raccoons what will be the next new family pet. But first, let me tell you all, wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WB EZ Chicago, in association with urgent hairtrop productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.

Our tour manager is Shane Adonald, and thanks to the staff and crew at the Studio Baker Theater. B.J. Leatherman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dormbus, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is our gleep. Emma Choi is our visual gleepe. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer, Ian Chilock, and the executive producer. Wait, wait, don't tell me, is Mike Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next pet? We welcome into our homes. Joliel Nicole Johnson. After abandoning the MAGA movement, Marjorie Taylor Green is in search for a forever home.

Jack Zimmerman. The new pet on the scene is going to be the female mayfly, which can live for five minutes, the amount of time a child can take care of a pet. And Faith Saly. Rats in New York have gotten so big. We're just going to invite them inside, put a sweater on them, and call them Capi Bara's.

If any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it here. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thank you. Thanks also to Joyelle, Nicole Johnson, Zach Zimmerman, and Faith Saly. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Baker Theater in beautiful downtown, Chicago, Illinois. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you are. I'm Peter Sengel. We'll see you next week.