Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM Thanksgiving 2020

Episode Date: November 28, 2020

We present some of our favorite moments with Ramy Youssef, Bryan Cranston, and Ashima Shiraishi.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Wait for me, Mayflower. I'm a Thanksgiving pilgrim, Bill Curtis. And here's your host, still convinced that the idea of putting marshmallows on sweet potatoes is some kind of cruel prank. Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. And thanks one more time to our fake audience, which this week is the fake family members provided by Zoom.

So you can duck out and watch football during your virtual Thanksgiving. Speaking of which, this year's holiday is problematic. First of all, we can't get together with our families and friends because of the pandemic. I don't mind. For once, I can tear the turkey apart with my bare hands and no one will see. And secondly, after a pretty tough year, you might be coming up short with things to be thankful for. Well, here's where we can help. We've got some wonderful things we did on this show lined up especially for you. For example, here's actor and comedian Rami Youssef, whose show Rami became a surprise hit and won him a Golden Globe Award.

He joined us in August. Rami Youssef appearing on my screen. Hello, how are you? Thanks for having me. Oh, it's great to have you. I just so much love your show, but I've been checking in with everybody. Where are you holing up during the pandemic?

I'm in LA right now. I was actually here on like a two day visit and then it turned into, yeah, I'm still here. That was how many years ago? We don't remember. I know. Cause it was, it was Hank's got it. And then once Hank's got it, they were like, we're shutting this down. And so no one, yeah, no one that I think is going to be, when we look back in history, the turning point. When Tom Hanks got sick, yeah. It was before Hanks getting sick and after.

Yeah. I assume you have some elaborate hillside estate because you're a TV star, right? No. No. I, uh, well, Helen knows, you know, I, um. Can I just jump in and say I know Rami from doing stand up and and I know Rami's roommate. His roommate and I are really good friends. And so I've been to Rami's place many times.

And there was a dude that was living in Rami's pantry. Yeah. Like off of their kitchen. They had this really big like closet slash pantry where you would fit cans of food. And it was big enough for someone to lie down in and for the longest time he had a guy renting out his kitchen closet and sleeping there and what Rami when you won your Golden Globe I texted Paul was like is Rami the Golden Globe winner still living in your

house with the dude in the random closet? And he's like, yes. Yeah, I mean, one of the first things we did in the pandemic was ask him to leave. Because it was not... And you would think, whoa, it's a pandemic, it's time to stick together. But really, the pandemic, it's time to clean out the closet. And we made sure that that happened. So congratulations on the Golden Globe,

which I know a lot of people were shocked by i i once read that you said your own mother expected like michael douglas to win it yeah because she was like he has more movies than you you know that was like the true thought it was just this like cumulative like you know of the whole career and i'm like no that's not it's not how it adds up but yeah well did she did she eventually come around to the fact that you deserved it, or is she still like, Mr. Douglas is probably very sad he didn't get it? Yeah, my mom's just like, man, this PC crap. And now two Emmy nominations.

This is really extraordinary. Congratulations. Oh, thank you. The show, for people who haven't seen it, is essentially autobiographical. You play a guy named Rami who is living in New Jersey with his family, as you presumably did for many years. The show depicts your life as you lived it growing up in suburban New Jersey as part of a Muslim family in the community there. Well, probably the closest that it gets to things that felt like my life. In the first season, we have an episode that revolves around middle school me. And I think the rest of the

series is very much me imagining this kind of shadow alt version of myself, where if I didn't have a passion, if I didn't find acting comedy, if I kind of just played out this very plausible other version of my life, what would that look like? It's interesting because you've made an autobiographical piece of art that depicts yourself as the loser you're not, which is the opposite way it usually works, right? Right. I mean, I thought it would be weird if it's just like me charming baristas for 20 minutes. I was like, this isn't and it's called Rami. And I'm just like, did you get a new haircut? And she's like, no one noticed. That would be like actually sociopathic. Season two is it's a lot of people say it's even better than season one, which is saying something. And Mahershala Ali appears in it, got an Emmy nomination for his role.

Is it true that he got in touch with you and said, I love your show, I want to be on it? Because he's a double Academy Award winner. It was more the I love your show part, and then I kind of turned it into, well, how much do you love it? Really? Prove your love, Mahershala Ali.

I kind of made him step up to the plate a little bit. I asked him to be in one, and then he ended up being in six. So it was a really... It'll happen. It was really fun. It's sort of like how the guy ended up in your closet. You invited him in for a night and he never left. I can't tell you how accurate that is.

Because it was Mahershala Ali living in your closet. I was like, dude, you've won too many awards. Dude, you got a Golden Globe. You still got roommates. Why not him with two Oscars? Bolstering the door closed with his Oscars. There's an Oscar on the door, dude. Knock.

I told you, when the moonlight ones out, I'm with a girl. When the green book ones out, I'm working. Well, Rami Youssef, it is an absolute pleasure to talk to you, but we've invited you here to play a game that we're calling... Say hello to this New Jersey. As we've discussed, you're from New Jersey, you represent New Jersey, so we wondered what you know about other jerseys, specifically sports jerseys.

Answer two out of three questions about sports jerseys. You'll win our prize. One of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose for their voicemail from our show. Bill, who is Rami Youssef playing for? Barbara Hoffman of Burlington, Vermont. All right. Two out of three here. Not a big deal. Multiple choice. Here we go. The Italian powerhouse

soccer team AC Milan signed a sponsorship deal with the jeans company. That's great. But the jerseys they had to wear were problematic. Why was it a the company insisted that the jerseys be made of denim, which chafed be the shirts had the jeans company name printed in huge letters across the front, which was POO. Or C. The shirts were so poorly fitted, the team became known as the Fighting Dad Jeans. I'm going to say it's A. The denim material. Yeah. You're going to say it's

A. Feels very Italian. Yeah. It does. Makes perfect sense. But in fact, it was B. They had to wear the shirts with the big name POO written on the front. Maybe it doesn't mean what it means in italian as it does in english i don't know but better front of the shirt than back of the shorts true true all right you have two more chances this is not a problem a greek soccer team took the field a few

years ago with the name of their sponsor proudly on their jerseys now who was the sponsor a their main rival team resulting in both teams wearing the same jerseys, B, a local brothel, or C, an angry fan who paid to have the message, We Suck, printed on the jerseys? I'm going to go with D, the local brothel. That's exactly right. The local brothel sponsored the football team. Community relations, I guess.

All right. Get the last one right. You win it all. Among the least fortunate jerseys ever created for a sports team Community relations, I guess. All right. Get the last one right. You win it all. Among the least fortunate jerseys ever created for a sports team were the ones for which of these teams back in 1905? A, the American baseball team, the Traveling Jews. B, the Canadian ice hockey team, the Windsor Swastikas. Or C, the French women's badminton team, the Mistresses.

I'm going to go with C. C is the only one that I can imagine being a real part of our history. The much feared Mistresses? We're playing the Mistresses tonight. Don't tell anyone. You don't say you're playing the Mistresses. You say you're going out to a work dinner. So I guess what I'm asking you, Rami, is that your final choice?

No, no, no. Couldn't be. I'm going to go with B. That's right. The Windsor swastikas. Because it was 1905, right? They hadn't ruined it by then. It was just an ancient symbol meaning prosperity.

They meant well. It was fine. But to see a photograph of the 1905 Windsor, Ontario swastikas is quite shocking. Bill, how did Rami Youssef do in our quiz? Well, I got two out of three. That is a win, Rami, and you're free to use this as a theme on your TV

show. The Emmys and now this in just one short year, or one longest year ever, whichever you choose. And you got the dude out of the closet. Really, now, finally, maybe, having won this, you can finally get your own place to live.

Rami Youssef is the creator and star of Hulu's Rami. He has just been nominated for Best Actor and Best Director for the show at the 2020 Emmys. Rami Youssef, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me and an absolute joy to talk to you. Congratulations on an amazing TV show. Thank you guys for having me. So good to see you all again. Good to see you. Bye, Rami.

Later. Take care. Bye. Bye-bye. We didn't just distract you from your problems with amusing chats with great people. We helped solve your problems. Because when a nation needs a hero to help with public health, who do they turn to? But Bill Curtis.

Hit it, Bill. Thank you, Peter. Ready, everyone? Ain't nobody dope as me. My hands so fresh, so clean. So fresh and so clean. Clean. Don't you think I'm so sexy? My hands so fresh, so clean. So fresh and so clean. Clean. Don't you think I'm so sexy?

My hands so fresh, so clean. You are the washing queen. Young and sweet. Hands are super clean. Washing queen. Feel the beat from the tambourine. Oh, yeah. You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life.

Ooh, see that, girl? Hands so clean. Digging the Washing Queen. Oops, I did it again. I just washed my hands. Got lost in the sink. Oh, baby, baby, oops. You think I'm in love.

It's sent from above. I'm super into soap. Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Always to wash my hands for 20 seconds, never going to make you cry, never going to say goodbye, never going to stand closer than six feet next to you. That was the voice of Chicago News, and you're wondering why the Tiger King is a hit. Wash me in the water, wash me in the water. When we come back, we break good with Bryan Cranston and the zoological stylings of Maeve Higgins. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

Support for NPR and the following message come from our sponsor, Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. Founder Ken Grossman shares why he thinks of his company as a family, and not just because his daughter and son help run the brewery. We've been focused from our beginning on trying to do the right thing. Our focus is to treat people fairly, to produce great products, to try to build a company and a culture that's sustaining, but it's build a company, a culture that's sustaining, but it's also a community, a family. To learn more, go to sierranevada.com.

Please drink responsibly. Since the 1980s, hip-hop and America's prisons have grown side by side. And we're going to investigate this connection to see how it lifts us up and holds us down. Hip-hop is talking about what we live, trying to live the American dream, failing at the American dream. I'm Sidney Madden. I'm Rodney Carmichael. Listen now to the Louder Than a Riot podcast from NPR Music. Where we trace the collision of rhyme and punishment in America. punishment in America. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host, who hasn't seen his extended family since he started

turkey-splaining how to eat leftovers. Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Now, we have been expressing our thanks this week for all the people we were able to talk to this past year. And there were none we were more thankful for than our own panelist, Maeve Higgins. Wonder why? Here's why. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, Peter, this is Jeff Mitchell

calling in from Boston, Massachusetts. Hey! Now, I've spent a lot of time in Boston, and I know a lot of people who say they're from Boston are actually from someplace lame, like Needham. So are you from Boston, Boston? Just outside, Wakefield. Ah, you see? Well, welcome to the show, Jeff. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Jeff's topic? I retire.

Ah, retirement. When decades of work is rewarded with decades of boredom. This week, we heard about somebody retiring from a really remarkable career. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Ready to play? I'm ready.

First, let's hear from Helen Hong. A Canadian school district is grappling with what to do about a recently retired longtime school cafeteria cook. Elsa Bennett, the beloved cook, was praised for decades for her friendly rapport with her middle schoolers, as well as her super cheesy mac and cheese. The school itself was widely known to have the most well-behaved, easygoing, and unusually calm student body. Well, it turns out Miss Bennett's secret ingredient was weed. You know how wild kids are that age,

said Miss Bennett while taking a long pull off of a giant blunt. So one day I put a little hash and CBD mix in my super cheesy mac and cheese and what do you know, the kids calmed down. So I did it again the next day and again the next. Apparently, Miss Bennett had been getting her middle schoolers blazed for years. When asked how she could afford to keep 200 kids high as a kite on a weekly basis for decades, she revealed that this had been an open secret amongst many parents

who donated to her so-called chill charity. Although recreational marijuana is legal in Canada, getting children faded is not. Since most of the parents in the district have refused to press charges, Ms. Bennett may avoid punishment. When asked why she was admitting to any of this after the fact, Ms. Bennett responded,

I'm sorry, were you talking? The cafeteria lady retires after decades. Dosing the kids with ganja, your next story of a retirement comes from Tom Beaudet. The U.S. government has its tradition of designated survivor, a lone acting cabinet member who is randomly chosen to rule the country in the event the entire government is rubbed out or quits. England has an older equivalent in their royal repository of the blood of sovereignty. Established after the English civil wars in the mid-17th century, the monarchy ruled in secret

that in the event the entire royal lineage is destroyed, looking at you Ireland, entire royal lineage is destroyed. Looking at you, Ireland. The, quote, third male cousin of the nephew of the Viscount of Shropshire, so far as can be known to be not a scoundrel nor a Frenchman, shall hold the title of royal repository of the blood of sovereignty and ascend to the throne of England in the event we've otherwise all been smote. Close quote. Next to the lock screen code in the event we've otherwise all been smote. Close quote. Next to the lock screen code for Prince Andrew's iPhone,

the identity of the royal rep of the BS is the most closely guarded secret in the kingdom. No one but the Queen knew about it. So QE2's very bad week got worse when shoe seller Gary Thomas of Pickle Scott on the Bog in Shropshire, England, got worse when shoe seller Gary Thomas of Pickle Scott on the Bog in Shropshire, England revealed this week he was the royal last resort and he was retiring. My undoing, Thomas said in an appalling British accent, was I fell in love with Laura Patty, an Irish girl.

As I was about to propose marriage, I shared my secret with her. I can still hear what she said in reply. Royal suppository, I ain't shagging no bloomin' prince. It is not yet clear who the next royal vassal might be, but there is buzz around a cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy in Devonshire. Last repository of the royal blood of monarchs retired from that job.

The last story of somebody finally getting their gold watch comes from Maeve Higgins. The famous Diego is about to retire. We're talking here about Diego the giant tortoise from the Galapagos, one of 15 tortoises in a captive breeding program meant to revive the species on the island of Santa Cruz. There's a lot of confusion about the differences between turtles and tortoises,

so here's an easy way to tell them apart. Turtles live in New York City sewers, and they speak English, and they also do karate quite well. Tortoises, on the other hand, live above the ground and they're extremely sensual. Diego is over 100 years old and the job he's retiring from is having sex. So much sex that he's credited with helping save his species from extinction. When the programme began 55 years ago, there were only 14 tortoises left, 12 females and two males.

Imagine if they had been lesbians. Then Diego joined the conservation program from his home in San Diego and got busy. Paternity tests indicate that Diego is responsible for about 40% of the tortoise babies born. But that wasn't even the record. James P. Gibbs, a Syracuse professor of environmental and forest biology said, another more reserved, less charismatic male, E5, has generated the other 60%. The phrase, it's always the quiet ones, is now being changed to, it's the quiet ones around 60% of the time.

to it's the quiet ones around 60% of the time. You could say E5 came out of his shell, but that's not physiologically accurate. So before I ask Jeff which one he wants, tortoise? It's the English. Is that how the Irish say the word tortoise? which one he wants. Tortoise? It's the English. Is that how the Irish say the word tortoise? It's really the British.

Hold on. Now, because I'm curious. I could absolutely be wrong. It's possible then that you just read the word. I've run into it in narrations and was corrected many times. Really?

Okay. Oh, so they do say tortoise? Yeah, we say tortoises. Now that I think of it, I don't think I've ever heard it loud. Like I just saw them. They're such quiet creatures. They would never correct you. That's true.

All right. Now that we've got that settled. Jeff, here are your choices. From Helen, a cafeteria lady in Canada retires after decades of dosing the kids to keep them happy. From Tom Beaudet, the very secret royal, the royal repository of the blood of the monarchy, retires from the job that nobody knew he had.

Or from Maeve, Diego the fecund tortoise a Galapagos tortoise that retired after a long life of having lots of babies which of these is the real story of a retirement we found in the news I think the tortoise have it. Really? Yeah. Thank you, sir. We've chosen the story of Diego the tortoise. To bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone familiar with the real retiree. Diego's ability to procreate produced over 800 patchlings for the recuperation of the species.

That was Arturo Izurrieta, Executive Director for the Charles Darwin Foundation for the Galapagos Islands, talking, of course, about Diego the tortoise. So, congratulations, Jeff. You got it right. You've earned a point for Maeve for telling the truth. Thank you. And you've also won our prize, the voice of anyone you may choose.

Thank you, guys. Thank you. And you've also won our prize, the voice of anyone you may choose. Thank you, guys. Thank you so much. Actor Bryan Cranston has played so many roles, but is most well known for playing the sinister drug lord Walter White on Breaking Bad. When he joined us in August, Peter asked him if he had to work odd jobs before he succeeded as an actor. I did. I loaded trucks for Roadway International in downtown Los Angeles. This is 1980. Were you of use on sets, you know, when the gaffers and the grips were like,

oh, we got to move this, and walks over the star and says, oh, I can handle this. Well, I'll tell you what it has done, Peter. It has taught me how to load a dishwasher better than anyone I've ever met. Really? I'm telling you because our foreman used to come around and they would always only refer to you by your last name, like Cranston, come on, you could do better, high and tight, pack it, pack it in. Brian, this has rarely happened. I'm always given a list by our intern who does a lot of research and suggest questions. And I'm looking down and I'm seeing a

question and I have no idea why they want me to ask you this, but I have to because it's, well, it's provocative. Here's the question that I was told to ask you. What's Charlie Manson like in person? Oh my gosh. Yeah, that was a weird encounter when I was about nine or 10 years old. My mom and my uncle dropped my cousin and I, a female cousin, at the Spahn Ranch. And we had been there before. It was a rental place. So we

were there. We walk into the office and some younger guy, long hair, came running into the office saying, Charlie's on the hill! Charlie's on the hill! And they jumped on horses, men and women, and they rode off in a gallop. We got our horses. And of course, we're just clip-clopping away along the same direction they went. And about a half an hour later, we see this trail of horses coming back toward us. And there were a few people on horseback in the front. And then in the middle, a guy who was not holding his reins, but the person in front of him on the horse in front of him was, and he was just undulating it with the movement of the horse. And we can And his eyes were dark and black. He was a little guy, shoulder length, long hair.

And he was just zoned out as he was undulating back and forth to the movement of the horse. And as he's passing, my cousin and I were like looking at him. She was in front in her horse and she turned around and she goes, that must be Charlie. I said, yeah. So flash forward a couple more years and the murder happens and the investigation, and then they discover him. And all of a sudden we hear this, we're a news program. We're at the spawn ranch in Simi Valley where Charles Manson and his gang were arrested and they're showing pictures of

Charles Manson on the thing. Before I can get to it, my cousin is calling me and it's like, that's him! That's the guy! That's amazing. Did you get any sense of how good or bad he is at loading a dishwasher, Brian? Good question.

He was too loose. He's got to be more measured and controlled. And he just doesn't seem like a dishwashing loader guy. Helter skelter. That's how I describe him. Yeah, he was all helter skelter. One last question before we go to the game, although I think I could talk to you all day.

We heard that a very popular tattoo is really realistic versions of, well, your face as Walter White on their bodies. You must have encountered that in person. Yes. Some embarrassed me. I wrote a book and I was on a book tour and signing autographs of the book afterward. And she goes, would you sign my tattoo? I just got it. I go, well, okay. She lifts up her dress. Right next to her panties is my face. And I went, oh, uh, uh. Just sign it right there. And I'm like, uh, okay.

And I'm signing. I had to get down on my knees to sign my name on her upper thigh. And I didn't sign on the tattoo. It was below it. Right? Right, right, right. And she said, great. Now I'm going right to the parlor to get that tattooed in.

Oh, my God. But I've also seen my face on a couple men have it on their butts, have my face completely on their butts. Wait a minute. Like, not right in the middle, so your face would be bisected, but sort of on either cheek? Yes, on one cheek is my face. Yeah. Wow.

I have a tattoo of you getting your back shaved and Malcolm in the middle on my back. That's the iconic performance for me. That's good. Well, Brian Cranston, it is a joy to talk to you. But in fact, we've asked you here to play a little game of our own that we're calling Breaking Good. So as we have mentioned a few times, you starred in Breaking Bad. So we wondered about Breaking Good, that is safe driving. We're going to ask you three questions about driver's education.

Get two right, you win a prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Brian Cranston playing for? Allison Lee of San Francisco, California. All right. You ready to do this? Yes, here we go. Come on, Allison. Here's your first question. A 60-year-old woman was doing quite well recently on her driving test in Brazil, but she ended the day in jail. Why?

A, because just as she was finishing, she swerved off the road to run over an agouti, a Brazilian rodent. B, because after she dented the car trying to park it at the end of the test, she attempted to bribe the test taker with some pot brownies. Or C, because she was actually her own son dressed up as his mother so he could take the test for her. Wow. I'm attracted to that last one. See, that sounds so dramatic. You're right. Very good instinct. That's in fact what happened and it would have worked too. He's a heck of a driver. All right. Next question. Driver's tests vary around the world. In Finland, for example,

it can take three years of study to get your license, but in Egypt, it is much easier. To get your driver's license in Egypt, all you have to do is, A, say vroom vroom while miming steering and shifting gears for one complete minute, B, get in your car, drive six meters forward, then six meters in reverse, or C, cross your heart and swear to God that you won't run over anyone. Well, that's just silly. Although, I think it's going to be driving six meters forward and six meters back to pass your driver's test in Egypt. That's in fact true. They got the right answer again. I will say if you've ever been to Egypt and been driven around, you would be forgiven for thinking any of those could have been true. All right.

Last question. You can be perfect here. Most people who got driver's ed in American high schools were forced to watch horrible driver's ed films with bloody depictions of the consequences of unsafe driving. Which of these was a real driver's ed movie shown in American driver's classes? A, Highways of Agony. B, Appointment with Disaster. drivers ed movies shown in american drivers classes a highways of agony b appointment with disaster or c red asphalt one two three four and five you know i can see them making red asphalt one two three and four but five really what is there left to say then about the characters i'm going to say b you're going to say B, Appointment with Disaster.

You're right. That was a real movie. I should say so were the other ones. They really like to make these movies lurid. Bill, how did Bryan Cranston do in our quiz? You have a perfect score, Bryan. Yeah. There you go.

You're on top of the world. Bryan Cranston is an Emmy and Tony Award winning actor. His new movie, The One and Only Ivan, will be on Disney Plus as of August 21st. Bryan Cranston, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me What. Thank you, Peter. Thank you, everybody. Thanks, Bryan. Thanks, Bryan.

When we come back, more reasons to be thankful, or at least amused, plus a woman who climbed right through that glass ceiling. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. This message comes from NPR sponsor Capital One Shopping. Capital One Shopping is an online tool that instantly searches for available coupon codes and automatically applies them at checkout to make saving money easier. Just download the Capital One Shopping browser extension to your computer and let it do the work for you. It's easy, free, and you don't even need a Capital One card to use it. Capital One Shopping. What's in your wallet? Savings and available coupons vary. This message comes from NPR's sponsor, Headspace.

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Listen and subscribe to NPR's Life Kit. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. And here's your host, who every year shouts, my cranberry relish technique is unstoppable at Susan Stamberg. Peter Sagal. Thanks, Bill. So this year, in the midst of, well, you can't see, but I'm gesturing at everything, we tried something a little different. The beginning of our show is where we cover the top news stories. But to mix things up, we also try to include some of the bottom news. Here's a sample. All right, Eric, your last quote is an actual out-of-office email reply. Many thanks for your email. The office for

the Duke and Duchess of Sussex has now closed. That office is closed, and the former Duke and Duchess of Sussex seem to complete their flight from the British royal family by moving where this week? I believe they've moved to the United States, California maybe? Close enough, they've moved to L.A. Very good, Eric. It was just a few months ago when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Harry and Meghan, announced that they were leaving the royal family and moving to Canada. In other words, they picked exactly the worst time in history

to move out of a big castle surrounded by a moat. Everybody started counting down to the inevitable move to L.A. I mean, come on. Of course she's going to go back to work as an actress, and he would love to experience a tan for the first time in his life. The tiger prince and princess. I mean, that's what this reality show is going to be. I mean, this is a disaster.

I give it two weeks before he's hanging out with Kanye. I mean, I think we know why they moved to America now. They wanted that $1,200 check. Do we know where in L.A. they're moving to? I don't know. I don't know where they've rented or purchased a home. Do they're moving to? I don't know. I don't know where they've rented or purchased a home. Do you know, Mo? I don't know.

I was thinking I would have expected them to move to Anaheim. They've got that castle there. That's true, yes. Very familiar to them. Grant, here is your last quote. They're taking the town back. It's now theirs. That was a man in Wales noticing that what are now taking over our empty streets and towns?

All the wild animals. Yes, all the animals, Grant. That's exactly right. Since people are being forced to stay home, the animals have come out. Goats were walking down the street in Wales. Whales walking down the street in goats. At Yosemite, all the bears have come out and Yellowstone is crawling

with leather daddies. That would be amazing. Oh my God, you guys, it turns out like we're like basically my old roommate, Derek, who left a bunch of dirty dishes and like bong water

all over the apartment. And then when he finally moved out, the apartment was clean. Like we are that roommate. We are Derek. We are Derek. We're Derek. What's Derek? We're the global Derek.

There you go. Well, Julian, here is your last quote. Godspeed, Bob and Doug. Those were the words spoken to two guys who became the first men to do what from the United States in a long time? To launch into space. Exactly right, Julian. Very good. On Saturday,

American astronauts launched into orbit from America, as opposed to the way they've been doing it for the last nine years, standing on the side of the highway and holding up a sign saying International Space Station. Did they actually launch into space or did they escape the Earth? That's the question. They did seem pretty happy to go. Did they launch into space or escape America? There were a lot of people hanging. I've never seen that many people hanging on the side of a rocket in my life. Oh, it was like the last helicopter

out of Saigon. All the technicians were like, talk about inspect. You want to talk about a fake inspection. All those guys were like, I'm just going to go on board and just look around. Start the countdown. It's fine. I'll get off by the time they get off. All right, Rachel, you're doing really well. Here is your last quote. Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now.

No one is actually saying that, but what musical that was back in the news this week is... Hamilton. Yes, Hamilton. It's bad news for everybody sick of all of us people who could not shut up about Hamilton. Welcome to the second wave of infection. Since the show was broadcast starting last week on Disney+, millions more people can now be unbearably insufferable about seeing the original cast, even though they didn't see them live in the theater like I did. But now everybody's arguing about whether the musical is historically accurate, so we need to set the record straight. Aaron Burr's rap flow was much more West Coast style

than is depicted in this musical. Now, a lot of the criticism, of course, is that the historical Alexander Hamilton wasn't nearly the good guy he's depicted to be in the musical where he's presented as a man who carries on a long distance affair with his wife's sister before cheating on both of them and then helps his son get killed in a duel before needlessly dying and won himself without even telling his wife where he was going is that part of the drama that he never told his wife where he was going yes he actually he says he says oh i've just got an appointment out of town and he comes back dead.

Oh no, I would never. I'd always be like, sweetie, I'm going to a duel. Isn't it hot? Did they tell us why he, was he afraid she was going to talk him out of it or would she have been like Maeve who would have been like, go get him. What he was worried about was that he would say,

you know, I'm going to fight a duel and she'd go, while you're out, can you stop off at the wig maker? All right, Shelby, we have one more quote for you. It is from a woman looking back after four months of lockdown. I don't think I'll use them until the actual end time. So what are Americans not using as much as they thought they would back when all this started? Oh, can I get a hint? Yeah, it's kind of the magical fruit. The more you eat, or rather, the less you eat, I guess, the less you eat. Oh, canned beans? Yes, beans! This week, NPR's All

Things Considered reported that after months of lockdown, many Americans are now experiencing bean buyer's remorse as they realize they did not actually need all the beans they hoarded back in March. All those Totino's pizza rolls, though, gone by April. Did you guys do this? Did you guys run out and buy all the beans you could because you thought you'd end up surviving on them? Well, the first three weeks of the quarantine, I was on the Daniel fast. What's that? It's an Old Testament biblical fast.

And basically, the only things you can eat are vegetables. And you can only drink water is it. That does not sound like a pandemic-friendly diet. Did you ever find yourself searching through the Old Testament, like looking for a cheeseburger mentioned in the Book of Ezra, for example? You know you can't mix meat and dairy. Don't play with your head. The woman is good.

The woman is good. Peter, I was just going to say, I continue to eat one Hershey's bar a day in addition to all the other foods. If you were just on one Hershey's bar a day, that would have been impressive. No, no, no. One Hershey's bar plus all the other stuff. I'm on the Milton Hershey diet. He wrote about it in 1894. This message comes from NPR sponsor BetterHelp.

This message comes from NPR sponsor BetterHelp. BetterHelp offers licensed professional counselors who specialize in issues such as isolation, depression, stress, anxiety, and more. Connect with your professional counselor in a safe and private online environment when you need professional help. Get help at your own time and your own pace. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist. Visit betterhelp.com slash wait to learn more and get 10% off your first month. Lastly, in addition to some big stars and big names,

we love having guests on the show who are just as impressive, but not quite as well-known. For example, Ashima Shiraishi is the best female rock climber in the world right now, and maybe ever. For comparison, imagine a Michael Jordan, except she's tiny and can crush walnuts with her mighty fingers. Remarkably, she started her climbing career not in the Rockies or the Alps or even the Alleghenies, but in New York City. When I was six years old, actually, I began climbing at Rat Rock, which is in the heart of the city in Central Park. And there was a playground next to Rat Rock. And eventually, I just saw these people climbing and I was really intrigued by what they were doing. And you know what, like playing at that playground transitioned into this passion that I have now for rock climbing. And so what happened? Your parents

took you to the playground and they looked over one day and you were halfway up the rock face? Yeah, that's kind of basically what happened. Like my parents weren't even aware that I was rock climbing. They just thought I'm the monkey bars. And the next thing, and how loudly did they scream in terror when they saw you doing that? Honestly, I think my dad was fine with me not climbing. My mom was terrified. She didn't want me climbing hundreds of feet up. Wow.

Let me ask you a question. You found yourself very early on your life's path, which is great. But do you think anything might have happened to turn you away from that life's path? Because one of our producers, Peter Grin, would really like his kids to stop climbing on the sofa. Oh, I don't think so. Would you just lie and say right now, climbing is terrible, kids, don't do it. I wish I had picked up something better like accounting. Oh, man, I can't say that.

Do you find your skill is ever useful? I mean, to be able to climb almost anything like a like a mountain goat yeah honestly um my cabinets at my house they're pretty high up so sometimes i like climb the table like the kitchen table my parents always yell at me but i have to like climb on top of those to get some dishes now are you are you belayed or is that a free climb to the top of the table? Oh, that's totally free climbing. If I fall, I fall in the sink. Oh, my God. Just the terror of that.

You fall, right? You train a lot. You climb a lot. You must on occasion fall. Do you have a technique for that? Do you have a plan for what you're going to do when you fall? Because my plan for if I were to fall from a great height is to scream as loudly as I can until I died. So what would be

your plan? I don't think about it very much. There's no plan to fall, but you're always ready to fall because most of climbing is falling. I've always said that. I could do that part. I don't think you're right because if most of climbing were to be falling, I would be a champion. I mean, it's the whole process, you know? A small percentage of that is when you succeed and you get to the top. So you fall most of the time, but every now and then you get to the top. Exactly, exactly. Be aware that anything can happen and potentially there's a fall coming.

Just be ready for it so you don't panic. This is like a good advice for life, I think. If your mom is ever nervous about a climb you're doing, do you ever tell her, like, I'm not climbing this rock. I'm just holding it for a friend. Halfway up it. Yeah. Well, Ashima, Shorishi, we have invited you here this time to play a game that we're calling...

Let's Take the Easy Way Up. You climb up sheer rock faces for fun, but you know what might be a better way? Taking the escalator. We're going to ask you three questions about escalators. Get two right, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might like on their voicemail. Bill, who is Ashima playing for? Sarah Herman of Los Angeles, California.

All right. I just want to ask, because I've watched you climb things, which are very difficult. Is there something you say to yourself before you go? Or do you say, okay, Ashima, I can do this. I've done this before. Or just another rock face. Or do you say, just take it hold by hold? Yeah. I guess my mantra that I use coming from my dad is to have like a quiet but strong soul. It's translated from Japanese. It's hard to directly translate it, but it goes along those lines. Right. I'm a quiet but strong soul. I've been going loud and weak. Is that wrong? I knew I had it so close, but I just missed up some of the terms. Yeah, I knew it was a volume and an amount of strength, but I wasn't sure how to

calibrate it. Alright, Ashima, here's your first question. The first working escalator in the United States was introduced in 1896 in New York City. Where was it installed? A. On the outside of the Statue of Liberty bringing tourists right up to her waist.

B. At the deep end of a community swimming pool to speed up the high dive line, or C, at Coney Island Amusement Park as a thrill ride? I have no idea. I have not studied escalators. Well, maybe if you hadn't spent so much time climbing up all those rocks,

you might have gotten some reading about escalators. Can I get a hint? Maybe put yourself in the minds of the people who have now invented or acquired somehow the first escalator. What are you going to do with it? This escalator, this amazing thing that no one's ever seen before. In New York City, I think it was actually immediately out of order in assembly station. Exactly. All right.

Maybe C? That's right, Ashima. That's what they did. Like, say, lads, shall we go on this roller coaster or that crazy moving stairway? Where's your two bits? Now, the first escalator in the United Kingdom, though, was installed at Harrods Department Store, a very famous place, in 1898, but people were afraid to ride it at first, so Harrods provided what to help them along?

A. An attendant with cognac and smelling salts at the top to revive terrified riders. B. An attendant at the bottom who'd say, So, governor, too frightened to ride the wonder stairs, eh? Or C. Straps to tie the shoes down to the steps so people couldn't freak out and jump off.

Oh, my gosh. You see? You're going to go for C, strapping to tie them down. No, I'm afraid that's not right. It was the cognac at the top. We imagine people who really wanted a free drink. I was really hoping that that was the answer. Absolutely.

I wish they still had that. All right. This is not a problem. As you say, most of climbing is falling. You get back up, you go. So one more chance. Here we go. Last question. Like everything else, escalators have a fan base of excited enthusiasts. So if you stan escalators, you can enjoy which of these? A, the People Movers podcast, which for three seasons and counting has been, quote, highlighting the impact of escalators on everyday life.

B, the International Escalator Derby in which people race on an escalator at a Vienna, Virginia shopping mall. Or C, EscaCon, the convention for escalator fans who often come dressed as their favorite escalators. What? She's right. I mean, the last one seems pretty extreme, but I might have to go with that one. How would you dress as your favorite

escalator? Like, I'm dressed as this escalator, but you're dressed as that escalator. How could you tell them apart? Someone's not a connoisseur. Guys, I don't want to freak you out but right now i am dressed as my favorite i feel like that's my whole pandemic vibe is i look like an escalator um i think the race sounds pretty fun so the race so if i understand correctly you're choosing the one in which people stand on an escalator. Oh, wait, they don't run up?

No, no, they just stand on it. I thought you were saying they were racing. It's not a stair running contest. It's an escalator race. Oh, so it compares other escalators from each other. No, they just get in the same escalator and they see who gets up at the fastest. Oh, that's weird. I thought they were running and chasing each other on the escalators.

That would be more fun. Yeah, that sounds great. I guess you bottled it down so maybe the first one ate. Yes, it's the podcast about escalators. It is, and I have been instructed to tell you that it is, in fact, the very finest podcast about escalators there is. So accept no substitutes. You want to go to peoplemoverspodcast.com.

Bill, how did Ashima do on our quiz? Two out of three. That means she won, proving our motto, climb every mountain. There you go, including this one. That's great. Congratulations. Ashima Shurishi is one of the top mountain climbers in the world. Her new book, How to Solve a Problem, is available now wherever you might find your book. Ashima,

thank you so much for joining us and good luck in all the amazing things you have yet to do. Thank you so much. That's it for our Thanksgiving edition of Things We're Thankful For. Put one more on the list, we are thankful you spent the hour with us. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks.

Our intern is Darius Cook. Our web guru is Beth Novy. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Peter Gwynn is our favorite side dish. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Ch side dish. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Her business and ops manager is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Thanks to everybody

you heard on this week's show. That's all our panelists, all our guests, and of course, Bill Curtis. And thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. Stay safe, stay at home,

stay in touch, and we'll talk to you next week. This is NPR.