Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Alasdair Beckett-King (Part Two)

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

In part two of Emily and Ray’s walk with the wonderful Alasdair Beckett-King, the conversation continues with more sharp wit, brilliant stories and epic hair!If you haven’t already, do catch up on part one. And if you want to see Alasdair live, he’s currently touring the UK with his show King of Crumbs. You can book tickets now at https://www.abeckettking.com/Follow Emily:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilyrebeccadeanX: https://twitter.com/divine_miss_em Walking The Dog is produced by Will NicholsMusic: Rich JarmanArtwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to part two of Walking the Dog with the wonderful Alastair Beckett King and if you want to catch Alistair live Do book tickets now to see his show King of Crumbs Really hope you enjoy part two of our walk and do give us a like and a follow so you can catch us every week Here's Alistair and Ray Ray So I want to get on to how the whole comedy thing started because initially were you academic? Did you sort of had you sort of decided what I want to perform but I don't really want to tell anyone So maybe if I focus on film that's a way you into that world.

Yeah, I didn't really want to be in front of the camera. Yeah. And I don't really, you know, I've learned to perform moderately well. You know, and I can do stuff in front of cameras, and it's gone well, and I've enjoyed it in a way. But I didn't see myself. I wanted to be Terry Gilliam from Python. You know, I thought, well, I'll start doing comedy,

and I want to be the guy who, oh, do the animations for the rest of you guys, and I'll just be behind the scenes. because I was into animation and film and that sort of thing. It didn't work out because I didn't meet a 20-year-old John Cleese, so it didn't happen. But that was my plan, was I was cynically getting into comedy so it would help with movies. And it just turned out to be very enjoyable and satisfying in itself

to do comedy. Because I'm very envious of a certain generation of filmmakers, like Michael Powell or Alfred Hitchcock, who worked in silent movies and made dozens and dozens of silent movies that are mostly forgotten before they made a single film for which they're remembered.

That opportunity to just fail and fail and fail or succeed and succeed and succeed in a way that it doesn't really matter. I don't think anyone my age, I don't think any millennial has had that opportunity in the creative sphere. If you get an opportunity, it'd better go well because you're not going to get another

unless it does. and the great thing about stand-up is it affords you that in a way that if you wanted to get into if you want to be a writer if you wanted to be a journalist I don't think you would get the same opportunity with stand-up you can just go to a pub and do five minutes of talking and as long as people laugh you've done comedy and if they don't laugh you can come back again next week and do it again and crucially unlike online comedy culture it's not there forever yes exactly when I the rule was never put your comedy online it burns material and in those days you know 12 13 years ago that was true and the sound quality and the picture

quality was terrible and it looked bad it made you look bad but now putting comedy online is your career absolutely nuts not to put your jokes online these days and and people don't care if they if they come and see you live and they see a joke they saw on Instagram or TikTok or whatever well now if you don't put your comedy online no one will know about your comedy do you even exist yeah if you don't online presence. I mean there are people who are so much better at it than me but I'm not strategic about I you know I just do I do a little sketches when I have an idea for a little sketch and I write jokes when I think of a joke but some people have an upload schedule

and there's got a good there's going out every week and that's what you should do it. They frighten me a bit. I don't I know a film student who had like a spreadsheet of every industry person he'd met with information about them. I admire I know I have nothing against hustle and the people who just have you know a five-year ten-year plan for comedy people who know exactly where they're doing same for movies but also I kind of think I don't think when Scorsese met Robert De Niro he was going home and writing in his file of facts Bobby De Niro and then facts about De Niro so the next time he met him he could I think they just got along and it was based on friendship and mutual respect I don't really know

if you can sort of calculate your way into people's hearts like that and it's interesting Well, when you were, because you went to film school, didn't you? I went to the London Film School. That's why I moved to London, yeah. And prior to that, you did a degree, did you do a degree prior to that? Yeah, that was an MA and I did a degree in theatre film and TV. So I always wanted, I was just, that was at York St. John, which is the, my sister went to York University, the posh of one. But I went to the more sort of cool underground university.

Yeah. But you're not quite as up itself as York. York said John. And so by that stage, when you were at film school, were you thinking, was that the plan, the Terry Gillian plan? I really thought I would be a famous film director by this time. I was very confident that that would happen. Can I tell you I'm so relieved or not, because what a fucking waste?

Like, you're so funny. Honestly, I'd be really angry. Oh, good. I'm glad someone's pleased. that I failed. But I don't, I know, I am sad. I miss being on film shoots. You know, I love making little sketches

because I get to do the things that I liked about making films on my own in front of a green screen in a small way. But the thing I didn't expect about comedy was that it's very, it's very rewarding in itself. It's not a means to an end, stand-up.

It's a lovely thing to do. People really like it, and it's very enjoyable to do it. Writing jokes. horrible, getting to the gigs, horrible. Staying in hotels afterwards, very depressing. But actually doing stand-up, the shows themselves, performing to the people is really nice.

I think the thing is, I'm not saying you can be Martin Scorsese or Terry Gillian. No, but what I mean is, I'm not saying one can learn to be that. But I think you can learn to be a competent director, right? Through trial and error and being taught. The thing about being funny is, I'm not sure you can, Do you think so? I think you could maybe learn to get through it all right,

but I do genuinely believe with funny people that it is just a funny bones thing. I think it's just an energy that some people, in the same way that some people walk into a room and they're naturally charismatic, and when people try and learn that, and we've all met those people and we know them, I sort of think it's the same thing that you can't really learn how to be charismatic. Yeah, you know. I was watching Kemi Biednach on PMQs and I thought, you know, if she was a comedian, she'd be doing really well.

She's not funny, but she has a self-confidence and a sort of... She's David Brent. Well, she is, kind of. But if she was like an estate agent, she would be the estate agent of the year. Do you know what I mean? Because she has a possession and a self-confidence, which, you know, obviously, it doesn't reflect the polling of the Tory party at the moment. She's doing terribly, but you wouldn't know it to look at her. And it's like, actually, you do quite well on the circuit with just that amount.

amount of chutzpah and self-confidence. But yeah, maybe hopefully comedians should have more to them than just that. Yeah. And just the drive than just self-belief. So after you go to film school, are you, I'm interested in at what point did you first think, right, I'm actually going to pivot into stand-up? It was literally the week of, so I went to the London Film School, which was run like a collapse Soviet state, and I say that with great love, by sort of a mixture of social realist filmmakers and sort of unreconstructed communists and oddballs, again, I say with great affection for many

of them and real resentment for some of them. So it was an odd place, but what they would do, they, when you made your final film, when you made your graduate film, when you made any film, they would give you feedback on it so they'd play the film to the room for students and tutors and then you have to sit at the front like a sort of show trial and you weren't allowed to speak and they would give you feedback on the film and everyone would watch you receiving the feedback which if it went well was very nice I don't like the sound about a feeling it was and they hated my film but I hated the film that I made and it was a really genuinely humiliating I didn't

expect them to like it but I thought it was better than than they thought it I thought, you know, they'd see something in it, and they absolutely hated it. And the only thing I'd done in that week that was good was I'd done my first open mic. You know, I'd signed up and I'd done five minutes, and people would laugh. And I did at the gig called Comedy Virgins in Stockwell,

at the Cavendish Arms, and at the end, there would be a clap-off and they would give a prize to someone who the audience liked the most. And I won the clap-off on my first gig. No gig, no gig, apart from a show. that nativity play has ever come close to that and it was such a it was just a thing to hold on to in a really depressing week where months and months and months of work years of work actually had come to sort of nothing and and been not just

not just not liked but sort of mocked and laughed at you know I've been making a sincere film and they laughed and I hadn't wanted them to and then I went to a gig and did jokes and they did laugh and I wanted them to and it was a bit of a sort of creative lifeline. So interesting. And so far. I feel like I talked for like 12 minutes nonstop. Please edit that down to make it really pithy.

I mean, that's kind of the idea of the podcast. It's all right. You've got complete carte blanche. But I find it interesting that you say that because I think, yeah, you strike me as someone who's very conscious of not over-dominating. Oh, really. How do you mean? Not sort of...

I describe you as someone who's quite a considerate kind of person to talk to. Because I think you are very... I can sense you're someone. You know, when I've picked up on things myself, it's very interesting in this how I'll mention something like I grew up in Australia.

Oh really? So where does you live? Whereas sometimes people are much more... And that's fine, by the way. I don't think I actually did ask where you live. But I don't think I actually did ask that follow-up. up on things like when I talked about you know oh it's harder for my my my teenage years were harder sometimes it is for women oh yeah you didn't just go yeah nightmare anyway yeah yeah sorry ladies but that's what I mean is that I think I've just noticed that in you you I think

you worry about um taking like over-dominating taking up too much space in a conversation because I think that points towards someone who's quite considerate I suppose Well, I think if I think people who knew me when I was younger would be surprised that you described me that way, but I do think I have I don't think I would have been credited with a huge amount of sort of social sensitivity Or a particular gift for picking up on social cues, but I do think I've learned how to do it better Have you? Yeah, over the I don't think I have a natural gift for for reading people and reading situations and knowing where to put myself But I have studied people and learned to do it better and so I am I'm deliberately a bit more considerate, but I still come away from conversations going,

I forgot to ask about them. I forgot to ask them any questions, you know. It took me a long time to realise that when people say, how are you doing? They just mean hello. They're not actually asking for information. Although isn't the worst thing when you get a text saying, how are you? And I think, you've just sent me three words, and now I've got to send a three, like, pages worth of information. Alison, look at those little ducklings. Have you ever seen anything so sweet? beautiful little baby geese.

Darling, we've got some food, but I don't know if we should give it to you. I've got a bit of food. We've got a dog that you could probably beat in a fight. You're ever so sweet. These are little geese, aren't they, Alaster? They are, with fuzzy yellow-green heads. And they're approaching us.

Completely blissfully and aware. Aren't those little... What are they called ducklings, the geese? Goslings, I think. Oh, the Ryans. Could you bleep ducklings? Sleep that place. Oh, the Ryans are coming closer.

Oh, they're so sweet. He is actually, do you think he's benefited? Because obviously he's very good looking, Ryan Gosling, but do you think the cuteness of the surname has helped his career? People are like, what a sweet here, Ryan Gosling. Yes, it's like, it's not calling it. It's a bunny, isn't it, or something?

They're ever so sweet. So that's interesting. Just to go back to that comedy moment when you thought, a lot of comedians speak about doing that and thinking, oh, this is it? Yeah. Like, I can't really go back and do anything else now. Yes.

Is that what happened to you? Well, I'd always wanted to do it, and I'd been too embarrassed to say that. And, you know, when I was a kid, I would imagine being a stand-up comedian, but I just never told anyone that. Right. And I was too embarrassed to tell my parents why when I was doing it for a good long while. Because my dad only really likes working class comedians, you know. So like, you know, he likes Frank Skinner.

You know, he likes proper comedians who had to struggle and graft. But a middle class comedian, he doesn't like any of the middle class comedians. And I'm a middle, if I'm going to be a comedian, I'm going to be a middle class comedian. But I was just terrified to tell him. But then he, I was in one of the competitions. So he heard one of my jokes on Radio 4, extra, I think it was. And he thought he was all right. And so I've got, I mean, obviously, he's biased, but I've got the seal of approval.

that he had just he was deeply skeptical about it until he heard one of the jokes going over well and he was like no all right actually there is something in this maybe you look we've got a little audience now because we've got those gozzlings I'm going to have to turn around to see them typical comic do you think is it do you think it's they're recognising us as and Raymond

frankly yeah or is it the gozlings it's because the gozlings have attracted so much attention haven't they They're just nibbling around the daisies. And the geese... Have you noticed that geese? He's a bit aggressive, that he's a bit insult. I mean, what I've noticed is that he's just literally going up to people looking for trouble.

Yeah. Those other geese are just minding their own beeswax. But he's guarding the gozzlings from other geese, but not from us. We're no threat. What does that say about us? Yeah. What does that say about us? I feel like I could get one of the gozlings in my...

Difficult pocket, though. I'd like to see you try it. So after you had started doing stand-up, one of the things that, I mean, we should say, and I know you'll say, oh, no, don't be silly, it's not that great. But, because I'm getting the measure of you now, Beckett King, but your sort of online content, I just love.

I think it's so brilliant. And if you haven't checked out Alistair's stuff on YouTube, sure you have because most people are aware of it in some form. It's I was very, I first became aware of it during lockdown. When there was one sketch you did that went absolutely viral and it was the Scandy crime drama. Yes, if people have seen one of my skits, it's probably good, not good not son, a spoof of Scandi noir, which I, which I love obviously. I love, I love, I love, I love Scandini Noir and I've watched tons of them and they're all exactly the same. Yeah.

And that's, it's a, it's a bit of sort of creative serendipity. I did a gig. I did the Edinburgh Fringe, lost my voice, this is long before lockdown, had a week of complete silence and then I went to Malmo, I think, in Sweden to do a gig there and so I spent a week not talking, hoping my voice would come back. And on the train there, still not being allowed to talk, I thought, oh, I've got a bit about film noir in this show. I'd better write a bit about Scandi Noirre just for this audience. audience and so all I did was I just wrote I just wrote like a quick line which is the Scandinoiser like there has been another murder I know the victim was my

son who don't seem very upset we were not close and that I just I just and the audience laughed and then I forgot completely forgot about it until until lockdown and I thought I could turn that into a sketch which and yeah and it was and it hit the front page of Reddit which which meant something I don't know if it still does. I gained 40,000 YouTube subscribers in a week. And it had millions of views that. I wasn't monetised, so I didn't see a penny of that.

But effectively, thinking of that little thing on the way to a gig, you know, just having, oh, I'd better personalise this show for this audience. Having that little thought, a significant amount of my career hinges on just having that little thought on the train because I think I probably wouldn't have got to do any telly if that sketch had. done well. Because that brought you to, it certainly brought you to my attention. I think it did do a lot for me. And then I was going, you know, then what happened is I think also what you did,

which is really key to this kind of, like building your career from something like that, is that you kept consistently delivering. You didn't say, oh, I did that great sketch, now I'm just going to continue to do the king's head. Do you know what I mean? Is that you then did, you showed that you had, you know, a lot more stuff in, Well, you weren't just a one-trick pony. And I think there's one I love. It's like every haunted house movie.

And there's a guy, like, what's his name? Bad Husband or something used to. John Bad Husband is the character's name. It's very subtle stuff. In all my horror spoofs, the characters are called John and Laura. The name of the characters from Don't Look Now. But they change accent, but they're always called John and Laura. There's John Bad Husband.

And then you see these headlines going, Suspiciously Cheap House for Sale. horrible nun dies. And the subtitle is bad even by nun standards. But you have to pause the video to have time to read that. And then there's the, is it like a cop or someone with the tragic backstory? He has like a dead wife or something. I think he's called John Deadwife.

The names maybe need a little bit of work. No, the names are what I love. And I think we should keep on walking. Do you know why? And I hope you take this right way because you were fair skin type. Yes, I was sitting in the sun for a bit. I suddenly was aware. I have put sun cream on.

Good. Because I knew I was going outside today. We need to protect that beautiful Celtic skin of yours. So? Yeah, it's a horrible thing calling it content. But Gen Z, Gen Z people, occasionally when a young person gives me a compliment, it's always like, hey, dude, I love your content.

And you just have to accept it. You can't be like, oh, don't call it content. Because that's what they call it. But it's such a 21st century compliment. I love your content. Yeah, but it's, I think it's just, like I say, I think the key to that is showing, it's just another space for you to be, to show that there's consistency. Yeah, but I think the smart thing to do, I think people like, like Rosie Holt, if creating a character who can rework and then travel to different formats, if you were, if you're being smart about it, that's the way to do it. whereas I deliberately didn't return to any of the things that I'd done.

I didn't do a sequel to the Scandinavian. I didn't do more Scandinanoise sketches after that. Yes. Because I would find it boring to do that. And also, I'd already done all the best jokes I could think of about that subject in the first sketch. But I do think the algorithms reward even more consistency. You know, like, well, just do the same thing. You're the guy who does the spoof of the Scandinavian.

Oh, this is more Gunnar Gunnar Gunnerson. We're going to push this forward. Exactly. He could have his own show. I could be pitching the Gunnar Gunnerson files. But I didn't do that because I didn't want to, which is probably not a very good career move. But what it did do was allow you to be,

was give you exposure as a comedian. And that, as you say, has allowed more people to appreciate your work. You know, because you've appeared on all sorts of things now. And can I say one of my favorite ever appearances on, would I lie to you? Oh, that's very kind because I didn't, okay, I don't know if I can say this without it being bleeped. I have always assumed would I lie to you was fake and that they were telling people it was on the cards in advance. I had always just assumed it's TV, it's fake, you'll have plenty of time to make up a fake story or whatever it is. And obviously,

the true stories are true, so they do research the true stories. But it's a real proper game and the people who are lying are genuinely lying on the hoof. They're genuinely doing it off the cuff. And it's so, it's bloody hard because the people who are, the hosts, have done it millions of times. You know, they're experts at this after dinner part, parlor game. It's like playing against the world charades champion. It's a bizarre thing to have to try and do. So I was so nervous about it.

And also, on that show, really, your job is to be made fun of by Lee Mack. It's hard to know. Which he's brilliant at making fun of people. It's very difficult to know what to do yourself. But you can't try and outwit Lee Mack. I think that's why you were so good on it. Because I think you have to, and I say he's been, has he done this the most?

He's done it three times now. I made him do it Lee when he didn't have a dog. Then he got a dog and he did it. And then he got another dog and he did it. And then he said the most Lee Mack thing ever, which was all, you know, pretended to smoke a cigarette. and just don't call it walking the baby. I don't want any more of them in my life.

Every time I come on here and end up with another dog. But I would say that what I like about that show is it feels, you know, obviously Lee and David and Rob are so quick and they're so funny and they've got their schick and their energy going, which is consistent. But it feels so much more kind of inclusive and warmer. just watching it as a viewer to a lot of other panel shows, you know? Yes, yeah, it's not a competition to see who's got the best joke. Yeah, it just feels...

It's a game that people are playing. And I learnt on that show that you... And this is on IPlayer, so sorry if this is a spoiler, but you know you should have watched it by now, I'm sorry. I learnt that Alastair once genuinely did wear a wizard hat. Yes, I made and wore a wizard's... hat. The thing is though it's a spoiler in the loosest possible sense. If you've seen a picture of me like yeah that guy wore a wizard's hat. Truth. Why did you wear the wizard's hat, Alistair?

To keep the sun and the rain off because I've got fair skin as you have alluded to. Because I you know I thought well actually you know we shouldn't be dictated to by society. It should be able to dress however we want. So I should be able to wear a big Gandalf hat without without people in white vans yelling stuff. But it did not work out like that. I did wear it for quite a while on rainy days as a 19, 20-year-old. I love that you did that. And they still keep coming up to me and talking to my Game of Thrones.

It's inexplicable. Inexplicable. Well, we need to talk about your new show. Well, your tour at the moment. It's King of Crumbs. King of Crumbs is the name. Because you have to give them a name. Otherwise, people can't search for them.

on the internet. And what does King of Crumbs mean? Well, a nothing because it's just a title, but I wanted a title that sort of raised expectations and lowered them at the same time. Yes. So I, I, it's a sort of theme in the show that you try and, as comedians, we all want to sort of solve big problems and deal with the serious issues. But then the jokes end up being about like the self-checkouts or something like that. Yes. Or in my case, something I notice at the duck pond. And so the focus starts big and then shrinks. So I thought being the king of crumbs,

the king of the inconsequential of the minutia, you know, being sort of very profound about meaningless stuff. I thought that sort of summed up what I was going for with the show. And you're touring until, it's going to be later this year, isn't it? Yes, I'm on tour till April and then maybe, maybe some more days later in the year. Don't know yet, hopefully.

Well, you'll be doing London, so I think. can come and see it. Yes, so I'm doing the Leicester Square Theatre twice I think. Oh I like it there and you know what I'm going to sneak rain I'm not meant to happen but they won't notice no bring him in I'll get him a backstage pass oh Ray we're gonna go and see ABK you couldn't imagine how not rock and roll the backstage area of the Leicester Square Theatre is in London well I'm a huge fan of your comedy I really am and I've watched you know when I started getting into your stuff online all sounds makes you sound a bit creepy when you say that

some old man, yeah love, really started getting into your online stuff. Couldn't get enough of it, to be honest. But you know what I mean? Yeah, love your content. Yeah, you've got any more content at this? But when I started getting into your stuff online, I then was sort of seeking out your live work

and there were kind of clips of that and things. And I was just really impressed by you as a stand-up as well. I think people were pleasantly pleased when I did a first, little tour after lockdown. Yeah. I'm pleasantly relieved that I could actually do stand-up because I remember getting to do Mock the Week for the first time and some comment have been like, ah they're putting those shitty online comedians on Mock the Week. It's like, hey, hey, I was a shitty live act for 10 years. Hey, I have been shitty up and down the country in pubs and clubs, so give me my dues. What I like, Callister, is that this couple, literally just

around to stare at us because I realise I'm in a leopard skin coat on a very hot day holding a top unfeasably small shitsy with a man with the most extraordinary waist-length red hair and a Paddington coat shouting I was a shitty live stand-up and I'm like why are they looking at us? Yeah stop paying attention to me I am not an attention seeker please let me live Do you think though in a way, and I have a theory that you've been sort of, because you're tall and as you say, you've got this beautiful striking red hair, do you think you've been used to attention, I suppose, from a young age? I know that sounds weird, but... I think so, and I think there's a distinct advantage. And it's a real advantage that you, it may not be obvious to you if you're like.

if you're a middle class white guy. But there is a huge advantage in comedy for it seeming right that people would be looking at you. And, you know, that thing that lots of women who do comedy talk about, of going on stage and hearing the arms folding and hearing the bloats at the back of the stage,

the back of the room going for a wee and muttering and that sort of thing. Yeah. You know, for various people, for various reasons, face a sort of skepticism. when they go on stage, whereas when I go on stage, however rubbish I might be or however good I might be, it doesn't seem wrong that you would be paying attention to be. It doesn't seem like this won't be comedy. Yes. And so I just benefit from just that, just looking slightly odd and noticeable. It makes it easier.

But I also think that because you've, I suppose it's a bit like being the child of a celebrity, that you've built up a lifetime sort of resistance to being looked at so that you don't, there's not any territorial hostility that rises up in you. How do you mean? Well, you know how people think, oh my God, they're looking at me, why are you looking at me? Yes. You're kind of a bit like, well, yeah, I've got this amazing, unusual looking hair. Yeah, I'm tall.

Yeah, people have been heckling me for decades before I started doing standard. I suppose that's what I mean, is that you're. you're comfortable with that sense and some people aren't some people suddenly you know if people recognize you because they've watched what I like to you and a lot of people do watch that show they might think oh that's Alastair Beckett King you're not going to have that thing of oh I don't like this this feels uncomfortable yes no that's all right that's all right people are usually very nice are they yeah especially touring around because I don't I don't drive so I go everywhere on the train and sort of heaving around big cases on the way to the show

people were saying, oh, you're doing a show here. I heard you on the radio or something, and that's nice. Really? I don't mind that. I can, it's very, especially impressive if they've remembered my entire name, because Alastair Becker King is a long name. It's a great name. Oh, it's Alexander, like very nearly, nearly there,

a lot of the same letters. Well, it sounds very posh. It does, doesn't it? It double-barreled so. And I like that. I thought it would be a good director's name. That's why I didn't change it. Well, it might still be.

Well, maybe one day. Who knows you can't do both? But a terrible name for a comedian because they have to use such a small font on the posters. I say they. I do the posters. I don't know how I'm pretending to have people who do the posters for me.

Yeah, but then you know what? I think it's going a different way now anyway. Because A.B. King, ABK is good. ABK is good. A.B. King makes me sound like a blues man. Which I would love, but I don't think I've got the... I don't have the tragic backstory to go with it. I woke up this afternoon.

It doesn't have the same sort of ring. My English teacher dad mock me up. So I want to also talk before we let you go about your brilliant books because you are also a very prolific author. And is this your fifth book that's coming out? The fifth one is coming out this year because children age so quickly and books take so long to write. If you want to write a series of books for the same

child you've got to write them quite quickly otherwise that child will grow up you know because these are middle grade books and so you're only within the period you know you're only within eight to 12 and is that middle ways that's middle you're speaking yeah so um so they are you know they are quite keen to like oh if you if they're like the first one they want more out of you because the kids are not you know because you realize how ephemeral publishing is you know you know it doesn't last forever it's it's so nice to have it's so nice to have a book because a book finishes. You get to finish it and be,

well, for good or for ill, all the things I'm happy with about that and the things I'm unhappy about it, it's done in a way that stand up never is, because if I have a good joke, I can do it any time I want, I can remember that, and I can bring it back out.

It's a much more solitary thing, isn't it? And are you okay with that? The process of actually writing is just pure misery. I don't know how anybody enjoys doing it. No, I don't believe people. Well, some people do it. I know people... You've written a book

quite serious subject matter. It can't be easy to spend every day on your own in front of a computer thinking about tragedy? No, it really wasn't. And you know what? I don't think I was prepared for that. That actually you're sort of thinking, oh well all of this stuff, this is cathartic

people tell you. And it is cathartic in some ways. But obviously of course it's also reliving trauma. Yes. And I don't think I realised at the time it was only after that book that I thought oh I feel a bit weird now because you've brought it all back up yeah and also just sharing it with everyone like really private staff but I think what what's harder hardest personally I found for me is just how

solitary it is and that's I'm wondering do you find that aspect of it is that okay are you quite comfortable on your own oh I don't mind stay I'm not pushing for a diagnosis by the way I think I I don't mind the solitriness of it. Right. I do realize that it takes a lot of nerve to be a writer now because when you're a comedian, we're so needy. You get to check with the audience at the end of every sentence to see if they're enjoying it.

Whereas with a book, especially a kid's book, no child gets to read the book until it's printed and bound. You know, so it's too late if they don't like it. It doesn't get into the hands of a kid until it's all done. And so you've just got to trust, you know, good editors and good feedback from publishers. But you just have to hope that people are going to like it in a way that with comedy you can constantly be refining

and changing the way you phrase something based on the vibe from the room. And you don't get any of that as a writer. You just have to go like, well, this is what I thought would be interesting and funny. I hope you like it. It's more honest in a way. Well, I loved it. And I read Murder at the Museum. And it's this really, this girl who I so would have wanted to be

when I was younger because I read a book called, it's called Harriet the Spy or something. When I was, that was a big book when I was going on. I didn't know that one, but it's one of the references. People say, oh, it's like Harriet the Spy, but meets knives out is how people describe it. Yes, and I love that. I've never read Harriet at the time. But I think what I loved about it, when I was growing up, which is obviously a generation long before yours, and just this idea that, oh, a girl can do this.

Because I'd only ever read about boys doing intrepid things, like becoming detectives on their own. I mean, girls would be tolerated as a gang. You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. But I love that and that she was smart and people underestimated her. And there's this great character and her... What I love is that she physically puts on.

She dresses up as a sort of Inspector Cluzo... Yes. With a moustache and the costume. You know, I've always been saying Poirot, you're right. Inspector Cluzzo is a huge part of the DNA for a lesser cliche. Yeah. Yeah. So she becomes a French, a foreign gentleman detective with a big fake moustache.

Yeah, so she's Bonnie Montgomery and she becomes Montgomery Bon Bonn and she goes around servings the crimes and everyone of course is completely taken in by her disguise at all times. Which I absolutely bought into and I love, you know. But yeah, I hadn't even, I hadn't occurred to me that how Kluzzo-esque it is. Well there was a bit, I'll tell you when I knew I was going to love your book, I was reading it. It might have been, I don't know, like 20% of VIII or something and you just made this reference that was and then a man comes in with a tiny little triangular beard the sort of beard that makes you think oh god I hope they don't start doing card tricks soon and

I thought yeah I'm gonna like this that I wrote that even though I love card tricks and I've got a beard I've got a beard I spent my whole childhood learning sleight of hand but I think that was an example of the kind of reference that both I would have loved as a kid because I knew my parents would have found that funny Well, I thank you for saying that, because that's exactly what I was going for, because I remember when I was a kid, when your parents laughed at something that was for kids, you're like, oh, this must be really good. This must be a proper joke. Did it make me like it more, didn't it you? Absolutely.

And so that's absolutely what I was going for. Not trying to aim jokes at the parents and the children separately, but trying to write jokes that they'll both enjoy, I hope, together. But trying to, yeah. And also, the lovely thing about it is essentially it's a parody of the murder mystery genre. But also it is just a proper murder mystery that hopefully works for you. It's a locked room murder mystery and hopefully it works at a surface level as well as sort of if you're a kid who hasn't read a hoodonness before, hopefully it introduces the structural elements of a murder mystery to you in a tongue in cheek kind of way. And if you've read the Murder Most on Ladylike series and if, you know,

if you're familiar with it, then you'll get to enjoy the way it takes off the conventions of books I hope so it's a sort of have your cake and eat it kind of thing and this next one is out in July and is it called something like is this stay scandal on the stage will be the fifth in the series and I've yes I've just about finished it it's being illustrated the illustrations by Claire Powell who's just such a brilliantly funny illustrator it's annoying how much positive feedback I get about her drawings and they're like did you tell her to draw that and I'm like yeah yeah yeah

Yeah, yeah, that was my idea. But it never was. It was always some sort of stroke of genius that she had. And while we're on the subject of kids' books, we should say that you also do a brilliant podcast on the subject of kids' books. Yes, not only have I written some, I have arrogant enough to pass judgment

on some of the classics of the genre. Well, my mind was a bit blown listening to the most recent one you did. Because we should say that you do it with another fabulous red-haired. I had a comedian. Comedian. Yes.

And you were talking in the most recent one. So you'll discuss things like the famous five or, you know, language in the wardrobe. Yes. The witches we did. Yes. That's a tricky one because Roll Dahl's a tricky character. It's a great book.

He's very talented, but it's not exactly likeable in every respect. But it's interesting. I like that you sounded a bit like Donald Trump then. It's not exactly like a book. It's a great book. It's a wonderful book. Terrible human being. Some of the worst witches we've ever seen.

Terrible man. It's graceful. He was a terrible man. He was a terrible bastard, but he was a very talented writer. I'm starting to think maybe everyone was terrible. A lot of them. He was particularly terrible. He was nasty.

I mean, to have fought against the Nazis and then at the same time said, well, Hitler had a point is a particular level of nastiness that I think many people of his generation managed to avoid. Yeah. Yeah. So, yes. So Eleanor and I revisit classic kids books and try. Try not to dwell on the...

It's called Read That. It's called... The name doesn't make any sense. It's called Eleanor and Alistair read that. I read that. I think it was read that. But everyone thinks it's called Ellen and Alistair read that because you can't tell which one it is.

But you know what I like read that? Because it's like a sort of... It's a bit like you know when you'd get like a sort of American comic with a slightly aggressive callback or punchline? Read that asshole. I find it quite funny. We should have just called it read that asshole. I wish we had.

I think... Because we were thinking it's red like red hair. It's a punt and that didn't work at all. Can I be honest? It doesn't. It has not worked. I don't feel bad. It was Eleanor's idea.

Eleanor. Take that, Eleanor. What the hell were you thinking? Eleanor, look within yourself. But you know what? I don't care what it's called because it's a thing of joy. And it's particularly, I found it, you know, it's so nostalgic going back and looking at those books that I enjoyed.

And then seeing them through a slightly different lens and going, Well, that was a bit problematic and maybe C.S. Lewis was slightly indoctrinating us with religious. Maybe a little bit. Maybe it didn't work on me. And how those kids, you know, like Edmund and things, spoke in this. We didn't realize how ludicrously posh they were. Yeah, they were so posh. Yeah, there's a lot of boarding school kids in those books. And you just, I guess you just assumed that's how people talked in those days. I think I did talk like that, though.

Maybe they did. Maybe they did. I did talk like that. When I look back on some of my stuff I wrote when I was a kid, that's the thing I'm most embarrassed is it sounds like some woman from the 1920. Like I'm saying he was a dreadfully sad little boy, and he had an awfully, you know, it's like, why did I speak like that? I love, we were talking before we started recording about archive film, and I love when you see interviews with, you know, you'll see interviews from,

have you seen that one? It's a schoolgirl who accidentally went into East Germany and was arrested by the East German. police and they're like oh well you know well they were actually very kind to us and they gave us a cup of tea and they set us down and we explained we didn't need to be here and they said oh well we'll let you go then and they let us go so it's like a 12 year old like 11 and 12 year olds being like no yes in the in the end it was all right and everyone was jolly reasonable about it and I guess people were just trained to have

that telephone voice voice for interviews you know when you're talking to the man from the BBC you have to be terribly polite well children were very formal I think you know this informality in the way children speak. That's a very recent thing. Children are like mini adults. Really up until the 70s, I think. That was more of an 80s thing where kids started wearing trainers and having their own culture a bit more

and being a bit more. I certainly think, you know, and that's why I'm obsessed by those kids that are brought up by grandparents who sound like old people. I love those kids. Do you know what I mean? They say funny old-fashioned phrases.

So anyway, read that. read that asshole as I'm calling it I love it and there's a great one on the tiger who came to tea which is out not long ago you did that recently yes yes that's this this month we only do one a month because it takes us it takes me too long to read the book right yeah so the tiger who came to tea to be fair I did read that one quite quickly okay I was gonna say I'm not gonna let you have that but we did like watershed down previously oh that's a four hundred pages long and too sad

I was shocked. I thought I was going to hate it, but it's actually very good, unfortunately. It is good. Very sad. Oh my God, it's desperately sad. But then a lot of the stuff we read was. And Tiger, who came to tea, that absolutely blew my mind because it was only from your podcast that I realised the Tiger never came to tea.

And it was sort of a ruse that the child and the mother... Had sort of cooked up together. For the father? I thought it was more like, Like magic realism. I think that's my interpretation of it. Although someone... I thought it was that life of pie or something.

People have told me, since the podcast has come out, people have told me that some people in... One of the other interpretations is that the tiger represents daddy's alcoholism, which I think is a bit dark, but apparently that's a popular interpretation. And the other, the other that it represents me having an affair with a man who comes into the house and drinks all of daddy's beer. But I don't know. I prefer my...

I prefer thinking it was... just that ginger tabby that you see at the end of the book came into the house and they cooked up this story about there being a tiger because mummy hadn't got anything ready. Yes. Well, I grew up in quite a dysfunctional household so I'm quite like the other explanations. I'm quite drawn to them. Come on Raymond. Fraslow, your friend Alistair, oh Alistair, would you feel uncomfortable?

We'll soon find out if I said I really enjoy walking with you. No, that's fine. I can live with a compliment. I've got better. You have got better. You said that, okay, you're very good company there. Well, thank you. Do you think you and your partner would ever get a dog?

Oh, I think we'd love to. We live in a very small flat, but I think we don't have kids. And I think, yeah, yes, I do think it would make our life so much better if we had a dog. but I don't know how we could do it in a tiny flat in South London I just don't think also a lot of your work involves touring and moving around a lot of their responsibility might fall on her

although I've never met such a low maintenance dog now that I know there are Raymond's in this world there are Raymond's out there is there isn't another dog as good as Raymond though surely I mean obviously I don't think so obviously everyone thinks they have the best dog and everyone is right yes of course you know

But you seem very comfortable with him. How are you at confrontation, Alistair? I, my friend, the comedian, Chris Cantrell, has a theory that comedians have all messed up our adrenaline responses by doing comedy too much. Because I'm not saying I'm a tough guy or anything like. I'm not good in a fight or anything like that. But I do think I maybe don't get scared as quickly as I'm supposed to. Like there was a big fire on our street a while ago. And a bike shop went on fire.

Nobody was hurt, but it was a very big fire coming over the buildings and everyone was out in the street watching and there were 70 firefighters there. And there was a general state of panic. You know, my partner and my neighbours were all afraid. And I just felt absolutely nothing throughout the entire process. And I just kept, I was washing the dishes. And she said, oh, do you want to come out and see and it's like not not really um like i don't think the firefighters are going to ask me to help

and i i it only occurred to me as i was halfway through the pots and pans i was like oh i'm the one being weird here it seemed to me that they're all being weird but it just this hasn't this you know it's like once the fire gets near to our house i'll leave obviously i'm not i'm not being foolhardy but it didn't it didn't trigger that so it's messed with your natural adrenaline i wouldn't i think yeah i think interesting like you say to go in on it downstairs at the king's head this is nothing a fire three doors down tell me when it's one door down i don't i don't know i don't know if that's so you're okay at difficult conversations i i wouldn't say i'm i wouldn't say i'm brilliant at that sort of thing i i try to i i've made an

effort to become better at understanding people and to be more sensitive but i don't think anybody would say I was particularly good at those things. Yeah. Did you say kind of inspired you comedically? Who are your sort of comedy heroes really? I'm always embarrassed because I feel like it's obvious, you know, like I'm always embarrassed to name people. But yeah, I was hugely influenced by like sitcoms, by Black Adderon Red Dwarf, by Monty Python. You know, all the really obvious ones if you're a middle class white guy of my age. Yeah. Uh, by Izzard and Bill Bailey and, um, Josie Long, who to be fair is, is younger than me,

I think, but, but much more, uh, accomplished much, much, much younger. And who in comedy has been supportive to you? Has anyone? Are there any sort of high profile comedians that have struck you as kind of, of, encouraging and supportive and nice I was terrified about doing mock the week because it had a reputation for being a bear pit it really does doesn't it and I think it had really changed into a different show yeah the time I was on it which which is reflected in the people who say like I it's been no good since Frankie

left but I think it has become a softer nicer show but it's also a show that showcases new new comedians and it was before it was cancelled and then it is again so it's a show where lots of people get to do that first bit of telly. Because we should say it was cancelled and then it's back now. It's back on YouTube and TLC. Yeah. I think putting it on YouTube is a good idea.

I don't know if you can watch it internationally, but I think it's good that it's a bit more accessible for a topical show. But, yeah, so I went in thinking this is going to be horrible. And I think Dara O'Brien is a terrific host. But I was really, he really does make an effort to make sure that like if you're the new person you get something in you know so he'll he'll throw something to you he'll make eye contact you know he'll use his power over the audience because they love him to sort of give you a bit of credit watch out there's a huge

pile of poo there do you know it's made me a bit angry that huge pile of that's enormous that's that's larger than Raymond just the pile well I tell what else is larger than Raymond oh you want to take a bit oh Raymond's met a friend Raymond met a friend, they're quite funny together. Hello darling. A couple of fluffy boys. Hello my sweet. What kind of dog is this?

Wheaton Terrier. Beautiful. Hello, Wheaton Terrier. What's the name? Fenn. Fenn. Fenn. That's one of the things I quite like about dog walking, Alistair.

It's just those little encounters you have with people. The dog is a nice breaker for every person you run into. Do you know what I mean? Because I think sometimes you sort of think it would be weird to go up to someone and say, you look nice, what's your name? How old are you? Completely unacceptable. But you can say all of those things about a dog.

And I sometimes wonder that's partly why we have dogs. Because they do act as a kind of a social wamp. Yes, yeah. And I'm not saying that's the only reason people have kids. but babies do a similar thing. Yeah. And it's really nice that. It's definitely, you feel less of a weirdo talking to people you don't know.

Because I noticed that. When you're young, you sort of, often you define yourself by your interests. To talk to someone else, you have to find out do they like the same bands or films as you? Yeah. But then as people get older, they've got a dog or kids, and you can just talk about that because everybody else also has a dog or also has kids. Well, I have a friend who always says, I find it weird when people ask the name of dogs. Like, what difference does it make?

The dog didn't name itself. It doesn't understand. It tells you nothing about it. But I think for me, what you're doing when you ask the name is it's kind of saying, I want to say hello to you. Yes. And it's an engagement with the human being in a sense. And yeah, and names have power.

like Ursula Le Guin teaches. I do read some fantasy novels. That doesn't surprise. But it's not that the dog needs to know about that. It's the effect they have on us. Well, I think you're right. Because when I meet people and I say, they say, what's he called and I say Raymond?

And they're not expecting that. They're expecting him to be called fluffy kins or, you know, one of your more classic dog names. Yeah, Raymond's quite a kind of hard sort of East London name, Raymond. That's why I went for it. It's a bit the Sweeney. Yeah. And that's what I wanted.

Because I wanted people to take them her back and then, Raymond. All right, Raymond. That's what I went for. Like a 70s hard nut, someone who might be friends with Charles Bronson's hardest prisoner. Could have had Sydney. Sydney, quite all the old are hard names. What would have maybe been in a documentary about the craze

and someone would have said it him, that's when they sprung him from the moor at one point. But you know what? What I think is interesting about, what's your dog's name, is that when I say Raymond, if it's the right kind of person, so I think you'd be the kind of person that would go, oh, she's a bit more interesting than I thought. I thought she was maybe just a typical London woman with a silly handbag dog. No, I mean that.

Maybe there's a bit more to her, and she's got a sense of humour. Yes, yeah. So that's why I think names are tell you a lot about someone. Yes, if they're telling people more about you than they're telling about the dog, perhaps. Yeah. And obviously Raymond is a bit of a hard nut, a bit of a geese. Well, I honestly have loved this walkaster. Have you enjoyed it?

This has been a delight, yes. Has it? I was quite nervous. I thought sometimes little dogs go for me. Sometimes they're always yapping and biting at my heels, because I'm tall. You know, they don't always like me. But Raymond is a little darling. I think he really likes your energy.

And I quite like your energy, to be honest. Oh, well, I'm glad. It's quite a, I would call it a benign. I would call it a benign energy. But I mean, it's a word we normally use about tumours, but that's fine. If it has to be one type of tumour, I'd go for benign. You haven't got a malignant energy? It could have been worse.

It could have been worse. For comedy, though, a malignant energy actually would probably be better. I don't know anymore. Maybe things have changed. The malignant comedian's time is over, I hope. I think so. I think we used to tolerate malignancy in a way. way that we maybe don't anymore. I hope not. Yeah. Um yeah well I'm so looking forward to

come and seeing you on tour and so is Raymond snuck into my backpack. Yes and we should say if people want to get tickets that's King of Crumbs and can they just go is it best to go to your um you you can buy them from uh they're on ticket master of course you can buy them directly from the venue in most cases okay it's usually better yes if you search my name you don't have to spell it right the internet will correct it for you Because it's impossible to spell. But you are, I think it's okay. It's Alasdale.

It's the Scottish spelling of Alastair. With a D and an extra A. Alastair, Beckett King. But yeah, any approximation of that. And you'll find it. Well, it's been a total joy. And I can tell Raymond likes you. I mean, you had him at Paddington, C, to be honest.

Well, thank you for having me. If I'm being insufficiently effusive, it's just because of the uptightness that we discussed at length in the podcast. This has been lovely. I'm taking it from you, the fact that you said, well, at least you didn't call me malignant, that's your equivalent of a hug. And as we all know, as your father would say, that would be too American. We're not Americans. Come on, Al. Well, I don't know. If your dad isn't listening,

do you think, would you feel comfortable giving Raymond a little hug before you? I'd give Raymond a little hug, yeah. As long as it doesn't get back to my dad. He's in London now. He's small dogs it's changed got on Radio 4 once and now he's out hugging small dogs in Regent's path I mean we should say Alice's father's highly respected English teacher so I'm not really buying this I mean that is what he sounds like all right Alistair a little hug oh oh bye by Alistair bye bye Raymond do you think Raymond would have a voice I think remember but yeah all right all right Alistair it's all right yeah nice to meet you

Nice. I really hope you enjoyed that episode of Walking the Dog. We'd love it if you subscribed. And do join us next time on Walking the Dog wherever you get your podcasts.