Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Andrea McLean

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

Emily takes her Shih Tzu Raymond to visit Loose Women presenter Andrea Mclean. They talk about her childhood which took her around the world, becoming a well loved TV face, learning from relationships and finally meeting the one, as well as coping when a beloved pet dies. Andrea also tells Emily about the importance of women talking openly about the menopause, which she writes about in her book Confessions of a Menopausal Woman - soon in live form on her autumn 2019 tour, for more info go to thisgirlisonfire.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Look at him, Ray's going fast. You want to describe what he's doing, Andrea? Well, hopefully it's not fox poo that he's rolling in because he's doing that thing where they rub their ear into the ground. Look at him, go! He's running! Oh, look at that face! Hello! This week on Walking the Dog, I took my Shih Tzu Raymond to the beautiful village of Ashted and Surrey

to hang out with the wonderful presenter, writer and loose woman, Andrea McLean. Andrea lost her dog Jackson recently and it was really moving to listen to how he'd helped her through some tough times and also how she was able to make sense of his loss which I hope anyone who's experienced the loss of a pet will really relate to Andrea is such a war on his person and she opened up to me about her childhood moving around the world and what effect that had

her long impressive career in TV and also her relationships and how she's evolved and finally found the one in her husband Nick, who joined us on the walk and was just basically the nicest man in the world. We also talked about her experiences of the menopause, which she's really opened up the discussion around in her book, Confessions of a Menopausal Woman, which is brilliant. So do check it out. And also her tour later this year, which is also called Confessions of the Menopausal Woman,

which you can book tickets for at her website, This Girl is On Fire.com.uk. And she really is, by the way. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Here's Andrea. Spike, how are you doing? I know, I know. He's a borrowed dog. No.

He's a postman. It's my dog. Hello. Are you the local postman? Yes, this is Spike, the postman. Oh, nice to meet you, Spike. How are you doing? See, everyone knows me.

Telsey. I'm an Arsenal fan. No, I won't talk about him. I'll set the dog on you, you on the big night. I don't like your dog on you. We're both through. We should be happy. You've got to win it though, haven't you?

Yeah, all right. Don't rub it in, mate. I'm going on, Spike. Throwing me football shade. Hi, Spike. That was, just for the benefit of anyone who's listening here. Yeah. That was Andrea McLean's postman.

He's called Spike. And what I love is he had a high-vis tabod with the words, Chelsea Till I Die. Spike? Oh no. Spike, he's just a part of the village, really. Everybody knows Spike. And little things like if something's been addressed wrongly, he knows where it should really go. So you still get it anyway? I wouldn't argue with Spike. He's a proper old-fashioned postman. He's brilliant. Isn't that one of the nice things about living outside of London, do you think? Yeah. It's a beautiful village room. I don't want to give too much away in case you'd rather. not but can we say what part of the world do you know it's fairly common not i live in um it's a

little village called ashted in surrey and there's postman spike yeah not with a black and white cat more of black and white tat i would say he looked like he might have a tattoo thanks c s c ss he probably said chelthy yeah yeah um but it's lovely here i'm i moved here from london nearly 13 years ago oh did you do you know what i always do this andrew i get to this point and i'm like I haven't even introduced the podcast properly. I always do like a false beginning like this, and then I have to go back and do... I'm really excited about this, because I love this woman,

and she's a bit of an icon for me, and I've read her book, which we're going to talk about, and I'm going to see her show. Across over here. I'm with Andrew McLean. Hello. I mean, it's how not Andrew McLean. That's fine.

That's what I was supposed to be. The only reason that I'm Andrea is because I was supposed to be a boy, And when I was born and I was a girl, they just made it Andrea instead of Andrew. What a pro this woman is. She turned my mistake into a seamless link. This is what so many years of experience in TV does. So we've come to meet you in your beautiful village of Ashtad.

We've already met Postman Spike and his black and white tat. And your lovely husband, Nick, who had me at Would You Like a Capitino? has joined us so you might hear Nick what's going on having a little moment this is

he's doing a poo that's Raymond not Nick by the way I think you've got a bigger bag for me we're going to need a bigger bag six minutes in the dramas when he's got to go

he's got to go again that's that's Raymond's not Nick So Nick, I'm picking this up. So you will have Nick chipping in from time to time. Because I think it's nice that he could come with us. So I want to talk to you. We should start with dogs really, just because partly the reason I wanted to chat to you is

I know that you lost your dog recently and it was so sad and you talked about it publicly and I get a lot of people and you're listening to this podcast and getting in touch saying they've experienced that. tough isn't it do you know it's if you don't have a dog you won't understand what the big deal is because you think it's just it's just an animal what you know you know it's not going to live forever so surely you just need to pull yourself together and and deal with it but actually a dog becomes one of your family and and Jackson was yeah he he he he was my third child really because I got him He was nine when he died.

I got him when Amy was two-ish, something like that. And I'd started to feel really broody. And it was one of these weird things that only women can understand where you start smelling babies everywhere and you just feel like, I think I want another baby. And to be honest, I think I was becoming menopausal and the hormones were rushing.

And it was that last kind of, that last thing. So I did the sensible thing and I got a dog instead. We looked into what kind of dogs would be right for us and Finley, my son has asthma and eczema and so we needed an anti-allergy dog. So we ended up getting a Labradoodle. Now when we went to get Jackson, the breeder that we went to get,

And we did look down the rehoming route and that sort of thing. But because, again, of allergies and young children in the house, we thought, actually, no, we're going to go and get a dog that exactly suits what we need. So when we went to get him, the breeder said, oh, no, don't pick that one. He's not a good example of the breed. But I loved him instantly because all the others had very tight curly hair and looked very labradoodooly. And he had straight hair and literally came bounding over like a cartoon dog, you know, all legs and ears. And I just thought, no, you've chosen me.

You've come running over to me. So that was it. Jackson became a, you know, a member of our family. He, um, sorry, excuse me coughing. Because he doesn't look like a normal dog. And he was the weirdest looking dog there. And that's when I thought, no, you're, you're for me. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, I've always been literally drawn to the underdog. That's very good when Nick's standing right there. So, yeah, he became such a huge... He was one of the family. And Jackson was the kind of dog who loved everybody and everything. He didn't have a grumpy bone in his body. I never, ever saw him get cross, ever. And obviously he grew up with kids around.

Amy was a very feisty little girl. She's nearly 13 now. She's a very feisty little toddler. Oh my word. She's like your sister? More so. Really? Yeah.

She, my mum reminded me this the other day. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry. So sorry about that. I actually started writing a blog about her called Oh, Amy Jane. I will, you need to Google it.

You would read these stories and think they cannot be true, but they are. But anyway, I'm digressing. Mum reminded me the other day, she said, Andrea, do you not remember that time you're shouting across the garden? Amy, stop biting the dog. And that, well, not only does it sum up what Amy was like, but it also sums up what Jackson was like, because he would just take it. You would just, you know, it was this big, lovely thing.

Gentle boy. Yeah, he really, really was. So that must have been so hard when we lost him. Do you know, there's never a good time to, we can cut down this way, I think. Oh, this is pretty. I haven't come this way for a long time. There's never a good time to lose a dog. But actually, when it did happen, it happened at a really, really bad time.

I was in Chile filming SAS, Who Does? wins. I know that's a whole other conversation. So I'd literally just been through this incredible experience which was really quite a quite harrowing and very emotional. And I'd been through this thing where basically

a lot of memories and emotions that I'd packed away very neatly and not wanted to look at that were kind of thrown open and out there. And so when I came back, or when I got out, I was already feeling quite shaky. And I rang home to say, hey, you know, I've survived. And I was on the phone to Nick and he said, I didn't want to tell you this, but you know, Jackson was a bit poorly when you left. He's really not very well.

And he's actually sitting, I'm sitting on the floor with him now and he's got his head in my lap and he's whimpering. and I think I'm going to have to take him to the vet. Do you want me to wait until you get back? And I said, don't wait for me. This is about him. Take him now. Take him right now. And he died within an hour.

He was put down. If I take him to the vet, I've already been this morning. I know he's not coming back. And that was awful. Well, I was sitting in a hotel room in Chile, which sounds very glamorous, but it was this little tiny travel lodge thing halfway up a mountain, battered and bruised having gone through this thing.

All I could think of was, I need to be home, I need to be home because the kids and everything else. But thank God you had Nick. And also, you know, I think it's that thing as well that it sounds like you both really made the right choice for Jackson, which is the important thing, you know. You know, it's weird because sometimes people would say to me when I lost my sister and both my parents,

and a friend said to me, they were sort of empathising and they mentioned that their dog had died and someone said to me, oh that's so trivial. I said, I don't think that's trivial, that's loss. It doesn't matter what or who it is. It's just a sense of something you loved as gone and that's valid, whatever it is, you know?

That's a really lovely and generous explanation, I think. Your loss is so extreme and it's very generous of you to compare the two. Do you know it's love though, isn't it? I love this dog, Ray. I know that seems odd to believe. leave looking at him now. But I really do. And if anything happened to him, you know, it's not a sort of top trumps, but I would be devastated. And that's valid, you know. So, and was that tough with the

kids just having to sort of, I mean, they're old and they're teenagers, aren't they? So, well, what happened was Nick rang me from the car immediately, because I was just sat waiting, waiting to see what was happening. And he rang me from the car in tears. And then I spoke to, didn't all the way home in the car and then you sort of kept the phone going so I it was the weirdest thing because I heard it all I heard him coming in I heard him telling the kids I heard the kids cry it was all on speakerphone and so I was I was there and part of it all but not in the room all you want to do is be there and give them a hug and let them cry all over you well do you know what I think Andrew and it's so hard isn't it to deal with this kind of stuff but when I interviewed

super vet yeah for this podcast he we were chatting about how you know he doesn't say I own a dog he said I don't you can't own a soul but I think that thing of being a guardian you give them you know you get maybe 15 summers if you're lucky you know and you you made for them all lovely yeah and now I've got my head around that I think that the the the first The first moment that I, when I got back from Chile and Nick picked me up at the airport and the kids were away because of being divorced, they're away every other weekend. And it happened to be that weekend. And got to the front door and do you know that was the worst moment was opening the front door

and there wasn't this big nose nudging its way because he was hand height, if you like, in terms of like where the key was. So you had this little routine If you'd put the key in the door, turn it And then as you pulled back with a key You kind of pushed the door forward with your foot But there would always be a nose would come out And your hand would always get licked

As you pulled the key away And I'd had years of this big Kind of snuffly, licky thing happening as I'm on And I was so used to opening the door And going out the way, out the way, come on, out the way I need to turn the alarm off And come on in a second, let me put my bags down. There was not.

Nothing. Nobody there. I just walked down the door. It's that thing, there's a phrase, the presence of absence, which I learned doing grief therapy. And it's that thing that you'd come to expect without even realizing you'd come to expect it. It sounds so stupid, but there was no one to tell off. You know, there was no one to go out the way. Come on. Come on. I'm going to fall over. Come on. You're under my feet. Come on. I'll give you a cuddle in a minute. Just let me put my back in all this. And I realized I used to talk to him all day long. Come on in a minute, let's go and do this. Is it coffee time? Is it snack time? Is it snack time? Yes, it is. Come on, let's go and get your treat. Shall we go for a walk? Shall we go for a walk?

All these crazy things. Especially as the kids get a bit older and they leave more independent lives as well. You know, I suppose it's that thing where you're doing it with a kid. And then suddenly they do go through the, you know, totally. What you're talking about mama? I'm not saying that happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, they withdraw, definitely.

So I want to go back to, it was interesting. you just said heard and when you said the word heard I noticed something right which is an accent ah yes doesn't come out very often and I notice it because where you grew up I want to go back to your to your childhood yeah because you were born in you lived in Scotland originally and then you moved to Trinidad well my parents all my family is Scottish everybody is Scottish and And my parents moved to the Caribbean when they were 20 and 21 because my dad, he basically left school at 15 with no qualifications or anything like that. And he was given the opportunity to basically put some machinery into a factory. He was an engineer, so he was working building some machinery.

Pool alert. It's not Raymond. It's the random pooler. I did this. Actually, Nick, you'll enjoy this. I did this with Gabby Logan, and we did it near her. She's not, I mean, she's not too,

but she's sort of Buckingham shirt. So she's, and we went for a walk. And there were some people we saw, and they had a bag full of what looked like poo in it. Yeah. And then Gabby said to me, Emily, you haven't got to talk with them. Were they just picking up other people's poo?

Well, not people's poo. Oh my gosh. we go again. It was really strange. And the dogs poo. Anyway. Well, that's very nice of them. Lots of generosity of spirit.

You know, I'm very community minded, but I wouldn't do that. So let's go back to see. So your parents were, your dad had moved over to, well, you'd all moved over, but your dad had got a job in the Caribbean. Yes. So essentially, my mum and dad came back to Glasgow so that I could be born. And they came back on a banana boat, which sounds so romantic. But basically, my mum was too far gone to.

fly. So they, as in being pregnant, not as in being mad. I can really fly. No, you can't, Betty. Stop doing that. Um, yeah, so they came back and so I was, I was born a month early in, uh, uh, in, in Glasgow in the middle of a party at my granny's flat. And they did make it to hospital. I wasn't literally born. I think that's why you're so sociable and gregarious, though. You're born literally in the middle of a party. Having to make small talk. Having to think, oh, well, here I am.

I'm going to have to try and learn to get along with these people. Yeah, might as well. And so a month later, when I was born, I was so tiny, I was four pounds 11, and I was in an incubator for a while because I was so premature and little. And obviously it was 1969, so nowadays, I suppose it would be a bit of, more, no I'm still going actually, it would be a bit more. Now I'm still going. Regular.

You're often to take our coffee cups. I love Nick. Can I have a Nick? You do? Yeah, so I was really, really, I was really wee. Apparently I had spaghetti arms. That was very small when I was born. And then, and they had to feed me up, as they put it, so that I was able to fly, because I had

to be over a certain way. I can't remember what it was, but I was little. So anyway, they, I went back to where mum and dad were living, which was Trinidad and Tobago. And that was where I grew up. They were very busy. So I just said, you know, you go on ahead. I'll meet you there.

It's all fine. I know they had a lot on. So did you, going back, I mean, you went to, you spent time. then you were there until you were 15 pretty much is that right yeah we had a few years out in the middle where and we also moved around quite a bit in between that as well so my dad changed jobs a few times so we moved around within Trinidad so that meant changing schools and then at 7 or 8 we we left Trinidad went to we lived with my granny for a little while in Glasgow.

Then my dad got a job in Bromley in Kent. So we moved down to Beckenham. I lived in Beckenham for a little while. I went to a school there for a few months. And then we moved to the Philippines. So my dad got a job there. So we lived literally out in the bush. And when kids these days won't even understand what this would be like.

Basically where we moved to hadn't been built yet. So when we got there, they had a few, literally, I think, three houses in a little group. And my dad, because he was an engineer. So look, where he follows him? Nick is very, he's like a dog whisperer. It's like Dr. Doolittle. It just kind of wanders along and animals follow him. So all that moves around, Andrew, that must have had a big effect on you.

Because I say that because I had a sort of similar background. to you. We moved to my parents. I always say my parents would move continents like other people switch TV channels. I would go to Australia. I would go. And so that thing of moving schools and like you, I had a sibling, I had a sister.

And it meant that we very much sort of reunite and clung together. And I also had that sense of feeling I had to always sort of be likable in any situation. Is that something that you identify with?

100% I think my sister and I reacted very differently to being moved around a lot and I don't know if it's because she was younger than me or just has a different personality to me but we we both cope with it very differently when we when we moved to the Philippines and we're in the middle of nowhere I mean literally no phone no electricity overnight no school nothing so my mum taught us for a year My mum's not a teacher. She trained as a hairdresser. And there's no internet because that hadn't been invented yet, kids. Get your head around that. So what did you do? I think it was 1062, that for now.

So we were taught by correspondence course. Everything was posted and, you know, like I said, in the middle of nowhere. So when we moved back to Scotland when I was nine, I remember going to school and it felt like I was Mowgli from the Jungle Book. It was like rejoining the human race and I was so almost overwhelmed by all these kids that I found it really hard to sort of settle back in again

whereas my sister literally just kind of dusted herself off walked in, instantly made 100 friends and was great with it whereas I was much more reserved And with the kind of hindsight of adulthood, I think, I realized actually what I was doing was protecting myself a little bit from the disappointment of moving again. Because we then moved, just to interject,

we moved back to Scotland when I was nine, lived there for, I don't really know how long, maybe just under a year. And then we actually moved back to Trinidad again. And so when we moved back, obviously all the friends that I'd had when I was seven or eight, they'd kind of moved on. So then you have to start again and get back in but not be quite back in.

It's sort of a weird thing to move back to where you were. And then I was there until I was 15 and then we moved back to the UK. And then that was where we eventually settled. And we moved to the Midlands. So that was where I stayed. I think what was really strange was that we'd always treated the UK as home. Because obviously mum and dad are Scottish or my family are from the UK. so we would come back here on holiday to see family and everything else.

But when we moved back, I realized actually I didn't fit in here at all. I was a foreigner. And that's a really strange thing to come back to what's supposed to be your homeland, but actually you don't fit in because I had a broad Caribbean accent. I used to talk like that because that's how my friends all spoke, and that's, you know, how I grew up. and I was a white girl in the Midlands with a Caribbean accent, which went down very strangely, as you can imagine.

It got that way. But I don't actually think that was the reason why I ended up getting bullied. The reason I got bullied at school was actually because another girl was being bullied, and I stepped in to help her, and I think that would have happened anyway. I don't they had anything to do with me sounding different or anything like that. But it is interesting because that again is putting you, it is a sort of different, it's a point of difference because I suppose what you're doing is saying, no, that's not okay and you're speaking out against it. So you're not going with the crowd, are you? I've never gone with the crowd.

I've never been a gone with a crowd person. I've never felt like I've fitted in with the crowd. I've always been on the outside looking in. I don't know. And again, this is what's so fascinating with my sister and I, and we're really close. because I think you're right as well, when you talk about your sister, because we moved around so much,

and it was just the, it was the two of us with mum and dad, and we're a very close family. But my sister has always responded to things very differently to me, and she jumped straight in with the crowd, and is very gregarious, and is such a, you know,

she's a kind of life and soul of the party kind of person. Everybody loves Linda. She's a love, she's a wonderful human being, whereas I will go, to the same thing and stand at the side and watch. I want to ask you as well, academically, you know, I've heard you describe yourself as someone who is very, I'll get my homework done, I'm always on time, you know, and that's what I would, you always look immaculate.

I saw Nick laughing when I said that. Is there a reason for that, Nick? She is. Are you? You give her homework, it is done. Is that right? Yeah, but do you know where that stems from? It stems from I don't like getting into trouble.

It doesn't stem from wanting to be, you know, yes, miss, yes, miss, I'm, you know, here's my homework. It comes from, I don't like being told off. Wanting to be like it? Yeah, yeah, I think so. I think so. And also, I don't know, it creates less noise if you just do it. Then there's no fuss.

Look at him, Ray's going fast. You want to describe what he's doing, Andrea. Well, hopefully it's not fox poo that he's rolling in because he's doing that thing where they rub their ear into the ground. He's very happy, isn't he? Do you know, this really makes me want to move to the country just because look how happy is. This is where dogs should be really.

Look at him, go. He's running. Running, running. Oh, look at that face. Hello. Look at that. But were you a sort of conscientious, were you, I mean, it sounds like, you know, you moved around a lot.

So you never really had a chance to almost create, identity. You know when people talk about I was in this team at school. I was the SWAT. I was the, I understand what it's like where I became a bit of a sort of like just wherever I turned up. I'd be whatever they wanted me to be. Yeah. Were you a bit like that? Yeah, definitely. Not to the extent that I kind of, you know, you talk about being in with a crowd or anything like that. But do you know what's interesting? In my head, I think, I just stayed almost bland enough so there's no fuss. Yes, I'm the new girl again.

Because I never moved at the same time as everyone else. As in, you know, it wasn't always the start of term time or anything like that. Sometimes it'd be right in the middle of term or whatever. So I think I actually just try to blend in so that, yeah, I'm here, but you don't necessarily have to look. I'll just slide in at the back and sit at my desk and in my chair. Don't everybody turn around. So I tried to be a bit more like that. I won't take up space.

Yeah, yeah. Do you think people, because you're, I know you're probably going to be modest and say, but you're very pretty, and do you think that was something that's tougher as well because that can be threatening, you know? Let's just say, I've grown into my face.

Beautiful people always say that. No, seriously, I will show you a picture of what I looked like when I was, younger and a teenager and I had chronic acne. My mum used to perm my hair. I swear it was the first form of birth control was my mum perming my hair. Because I had no boyfriends.

No one would go anywhere near me. Yeah, no. There was definitely that was not an issue. I said, oh my God, she's so gorgeous. She's just trying to put in. No, no, no. That's not it. Darling, they're jealous of you.

I used to get so irritated. I said, no, they're no. They completely weren't. There was no jealousy involved whatsoever. However, no, no, I, you know, I was, when I said I was bullied at school, you know, I was being called spotty and, you know, pizza face and all that sort of thing. So, no, it wasn't that. It's so vile, isn't it when you think about it? I mean, I, and I know, again, I, just that feeling of difference, I look back on some moments that it didn't occur to me at the time to question.

And I think people, you know, I'm so glad now that people do speak out about it because I think we grew up with the snowmage in a generation where, oh, this is what happened. Yeah. Well is it? It only happens because we don't challenge it. Yeah. You know, you don't tell anyone. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't tell anyone because I knew my parents would worry. I knew that again, it's a fuss. They'd be a fuss. I didn't want a fuss. I just wanted to just deal with it on my own. Did your parents, were they the type your mom and dad to sort of talk about feelings or would you say? Yes and no. Yes and no. My mom and dad are very two different characters, I suppose. pose. Yeah. My dad is, um, he's, he's typical Glasgow in that, you know, he's very, he's a very straightforward, straight talking man. But then after a few wee drams, he can, you'll, you'll cry like a baby. If you start talking about anything too emotional and, you know, reminiscing and, you know, and all that sort of stuff, he gets emotional. But in terms of, we, we were a normal

family of our time. I think people are more open now than they were then. Um, but, like in terms of the being bullied and that sort of thing. I remember I went to I went to see the headmaster. I made the appointment myself and I went to see him and I just said you have a real problem here. There's a there's a group of kids who are making not just my life hell but a lot of other people's life hell and you're pretending it's not happening. Wow. What are you going to do about it? And he basically he he I don't think he was a very good headmaster. He he basically was like who the hell are you to come in my office and tell me, tell me how around my school. Yeah, so it didn't really end very well, and he basically told me to kind of shut up and get on with it.

I don't think that would happen now. I think it would be, but this was the 80s, it was different, you know. Ray's going over to his met a friend. What's that dog, Andrea? I don't know, looks like a long-haired, very old Jack Russell. He's got brilliant eyebrows. I'm assuming when you were growing up, you were moving around too much to have pets. We had dogs in Trinidad for the last, when we went back the second time. We didn't go out and get a dog. She came and found us. She was astray.

And she just turned up at our house one day and never left. And my mum said... I've had boyfriends like that. I've had husbands like that. Yeah, this dog turned out. at one day and mum said don't don't feed her don't feed that dog and it turned out we were all feeding her secretly so she stayed and then she ended up having puppies and we kept one and so we had two dogs until we left so and when when we left Trinidad she was kind of taken over by the

neighbours if you like yeah we left her behind and the dog behind you had on your gap year and that's where you met your first husband. No, I met my first husband at school. You met him in school, but you two traveled together. Yeah, I sat behind him in geography. I thought he had lovely hair. But it's interesting because you talk about your relationships, and I know you're with Nick now.

Yeah. Obviously, I'm a big Nick fan. I'm a big Nick fan. I'm team Nick. I'm lovely others, but come on. Let's get this in perspective. So, but I think it's interesting because I wonder how I look at relationships very differently now.

You know, this whole idea that our parents had of like, you marry someone, you meet them, that's it. Yeah. With them for everyone. It's like, no, people come in out of your lives for different reasons. Yeah. And I see that now, but at the time, I really wanted to have what my parents still have.

They met at 15 and 16, and they've been married for 400 years and still love each other. And not only that, but they still like each other. Right. And that's incredible. But I see that now as a woman, you know, I'm 50 in a few months. I now see it for what it is, which is it's incredible. But because that was how I grew up and all of us as a family, we, I think a family of two girls and obviously my mom,

we were very ruled by my dad. Obviously we followed him around the world because of his job and everything else. So I subliminally, I think I had in my head that this is what you do. You fall in love and you meet this man and that's it for the rest of your life. And there may be tough times, but you get through them and you work through them and you stick with it because that's what people in love do. Now with hindsight, I realise actually I read way too many Mills and Boones and that I was so naive.

and didn't have any experience in life, because he was my first boyfriend. And I mean that genuinely, my actual first boyfriend. So I didn't have anything to compare it to, or I didn't really have any sort of reality check, I suppose. So when I look back now, I think, oh gosh, do you know, you poor thing. You actually, you should have seen it for what it was, and it was your first serious relationship.

It doesn't necessarily mean that, it was to last forever. Yeah. But in my head, I hung in there and hung in there and tried and tried and tried. No, I really got that sense in your book, if I'm honest. Yeah. You know, and again, it's no disrespect. It's just that you could tell.

As when I was reading your book, I thought, right, well, this is over. Yeah. And I don't, again, I don't know that horrible. Why didn't I notice that? But I think everything has a sort of life and a death, like even relationships. Yeah. I'm reading your book thinking, yeah, um, When you've gone on the gap, you're, and he's gone his way and you've gone yours.

Now just go, now just leave it. Yeah. No, I hung in there. I'm glad you didn't because some lovely stuff has come out in that relationship, obviously, including your son. Yeah. And we're both very happy now in totally separate lives. You know, we've both remarried. And he's doing brilliantly well in his career.

And obviously we have a son together. And you nearly, there's one of my favourite books in your, this is your earlier book. But you talk about how, what's that book called again in case anyone wants to order it? My first book was called Confessions of a Good Girl. And then the book we're going to talk about at a minute is... Confessions of a menopausal woman. It's a good girl all grown up. I mean, hello my life.

But in that first book, you talk, which I love because it's so honest and you write very honestly, Andrew. And I think that's the thing they always say is you need that for a writer. You know, especially if we're going to put confessions. It really is confessions. But you talk about how the Scientologists try and you don't realize until afterwards, but you go into this thing with your boyfriend and he's your friend at that point. You're sort of having a break, aren't you? Do I sound like a storm?

No, no, you just sounds like you've read my book, which is lovely. No, we did that weird thing if we broke up while we were travelling. Yeah. But we carried on travelling together. What a lunatic. I mean, I should have just said, no, I don't want to carry on travelling with you. But do you know, he said, what are our parents? going to think when we go home and I and again being a good girl's oh you're right

you pushed your buttons and that's a big one for you yeah yeah with us or whatever and actually we should have just gone do you know what let's change our tickets and but we carried on traveling together and he literally I remember this one night he saw some girl he really liked in a bar and he was like making a play for her and I'm sitting there thinking you're doing this in front of me and we're uh uh but isn't it weird when you think back I know I know you think back to those situations the producers looking at goss I know. That's because she's a millennial and she doesn't know what it was like.

It was rough out there, girl, okay? It was rough. There weren't all these woke men that know about feminism. We had, I remember one bloke dumping me and saying to me, Barnaby, if you're listening. And he said to me, he split up with me. Yeah. Because I think he got off with someone else. And then he said, it's a stick.

It's a stick, false alarm. And then he said, oh, I'm really, he said, you know, so that's it. He said, you know, I'm glad we could do this. He said, listen, my parents are away this weekend. They said, you want to come over? and do you know what I said I thought oh I feel really bad letting him down because maybe I should go over

isn't that awful? No I've totally totally know where you're going from I don't want him to dislike me and more importantly I don't want him to tell everyone else that I'm crazy yeah yeah yeah now I love it if they say that that means I stood up for myself it's mad isn't it I know on that now oh sorry right

right Andrew's going to make a quick phone call about a business arrangement none of your beeswarks. And we're going to wait 10 minutes and then I can talk to this woman literally all day because I'm obsessed by her. And we're going to do laps of the park till we're dizzy. Oh no.

So we might actually sit down for a second and then we're going to do all to come. We've got We've got GMTB. We've got loose women. We've got confessions of a menopausal one which I'm very excited about. You make your phone call. Okay.

And then we'll see you in a second. Okay. Come on, Ray. I should just explain to everyone and why the sound has changed, where the atmosphere has changed, because we've, I'm not going to dress this up, we came into one of your lovely local pubs

because you needed the... I needed a wee. We've been for a really long walk. And unlike Ray, you can't just go in a bush. No, no. And, yeah, I can't, I mean, I could. I've done SAS, Who Does Wins. I can pretty much go anywhere now. Seriously, I can fall off the roof backwards

if you ask me to. Well, you do that in the helicopter, but we'll get on to that. I wanted to ask about where we'd got up to the last point we were chatting was when the Scientologist tried to recruit you. We left it on that gripping cliffhanger. And what was interesting, you were with a partner. He was sort of not your partner at the time.

It was complicated and you were in Australia and this guy approached you with a questionnaire on the street. And what I found interesting when you wrote about that in your book was that, again, it showed you as speaking out. And as someone who tries to blend in a lot, you still, you spoke out to the headmaster, you, there seem to be these instances where you've thought enough is enough. You spoke out against the bully. And then again, you found yourself standing up.

I'd have been terrified in front of those Scientologists, but you said, okay, I'm not, I'm not interested. Do you know, I'm going to sound like a lunatic, but that has never occurred to me before. I've never even thought about it before. I do think of myself as someone who more stands on the sidelines, but you're right. Yeah, when something gets to a point where it's just wrong, I stand up. I'm not someone who necessarily feels like I need to have my voice heard at all times, but if something is wrong, then I stand up. But that's interesting, Andrea, where you would, so we've just got up to go around the back of the pub.

But I think that thing about speaking out, what I notice is in all those instances, you were standing up for someone bullied. you were standing up essentially for, you would have just walked out of there, but I feel you were partly standing up for your partner at the time who was possibly being taken in. And I think with the headmaster,

you was standing up for everyone at the school. So I think you step in on behalf of other people rather than yourself. And what is interesting is I find it much easier to do something for someone else than I do for me. Wow, this is like therapy. How have I never realised this before? You know, like the whole thing with, I know we're going to come on to it,

but obviously writing a book about the menopause, I would never, ever, ever have even spoken about going through the menopause if it wasn't for the fact that thousands of women got in touch and I realised they didn't have a voice and I thought that's not right. So I actually did it for them, I didn't do it for me. But I guess we can come on to that. How the hell do we get in here? We go this way.

Can I just have you can hear her eyes clinking. That's the producer. who sounds like she's in the south of France. I mean, honestly, it's like working with a Made in Chelsea cast. We've got it like enjoying a G&T there, love. We're just doing some work here. Honestly, we are working. So this is good.

It's got a gate so we can shut it. And then... And there's lovely far and wool paint work. Raymond can have a little wonder about. Come on, Raymond. And I'll give you some water. I meant that to Raymond, not you. Oh, let's go in the sun, Andrea.

Yeah, perfect. Perfect. Next come back with a coffee. Anna Water, he's so Italian. I love that about him. Yep, I have a tag now. Breakfast are champions. He looks a bit cluny.

He's got the cluny thing, hasn't he? Sorry's answer to Clooney. You got into journalism, didn't you, and you worked for a local paper? What I did was when I kept a really detailed diary while I was away travelling. and again because there was no sort of internet or Facebook or blog posting or vlogging or whatever you would do now it was literally notebooks so I would fill them and fill them and fill them and

post them all back home so that because I was scared of losing them when I moved back to the UK after travelling you know I've told the story often on loose women and my poor parents you know they do get very upset by this but yes there was an instance after the Scientology thing where I wanted to ring home to say, you'll never guess what just happened to me. And I rang home from a pay phone in New Zealand. Again, kids, this is before mobile phones. And somebody round and listened to the old details of pay phones. I rang home and somebody else answered the phone. My parents had moved house. And if my parents are listening, my mum would be going, for the love of God, Andrea. That's not exactly how it happened. From my end, it is how it

happened because I rang home and somebody else answered the phone they'd had to move earlier they were moving to Africa the chance to come to rent their house out early and they took it and obviously I'm in the wilds of Bacca beyond and they couldn't let me know so in essence that's what that's what happened so when I was back in the UK my parents were gone by then they were living in Africa the the family home was gone that was being rented out Mom and Dad rented me somewhere to live for six months so I could find my feet. And then after that, there literally was nowhere. I mean, clearly, obviously, they wouldn't have left me destitute,

but there was no fallback. And actually, that can sometimes be the greatest propelling thing. So I packed up everything in the car and drove down to London, lived in a bed sit. You did the... whether, was it the weather, it was called the Weather Channel at the time, yeah. And when you got that, that was something again

that I got the sense of that you sort of just thought, well, that sounds good. That's totally what happened. I misread a job advert. It was at the time I was applying for every single job that I could see in the trade press. And I think it said something along the lines of journalists with on-screen presence

and interest in weather. And I just saw the word journalist. I thought, yeah, I'm a training to be a journalist. Onscreen presence, I don't really know what that means. Interesting weather. Yeah, I did A-level geography. I can do this. You know, like how actors go, can you horse ride and sword fight?

You go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can ride a horse and, you know, ski. And so the GMTV move, when was that? That was like late 90s, was it? What happened was I ended up working for the Weather Channel for 18 months. And then I got made redundant. And at the time, it was devastating because, one, I was really enjoying it. It was actually a really good laugh. I was working with really nice people.

I was living in Earlsfield in London. You know, I was renting a little flat. I was sharing with a girlfriend who worked on the Weather Channel with me. We were having a right old great time. You literally were the weather girls. Yeah, we were. And then I got made redundant. So I heard through the Great Vine that there was a job going on GMTV.

and so obviously I applied for X-I thought I needed a job and what I didn't realize was when I got called in to go for the interview the only reason I got called in for the interview was I'd sent in my photograph and apparently I was a spitting image of the editor's girlfriend and so his secretary had seen my photo she'd opened all his mail and literally thought oh this is hilarious walked in and he went oh my god look at this girl she looks just like your girlfriend and it ended well and they went well let's get her in see if she looks like in real life. And so I got called it. I don't know this. I've turned up bright-eyed,

bushy-tailed, everything else, thinking, oh, you know, chance to audition for GMTV. And they basically went, and they're both looking at me and laughing. Thrutonising your face. Yeah, and going, oh my God, yeah, she does. And it was literally a case of a while you're here, you might as well audition. And I was a bit crushed because I was like, oh, okay. So anyway, I didn't get the job. But what I got was holiday cover and the opportunity to try. train up the person that they really wanted to do the job because they found someone they wanted, but he didn't have the skills. So they brought me in. Always the bride's mate.

So I trained up this guy. You know, I didn't feel bad about it. It was just how it was. I trained him up. And it actually turned out it didn't work out for him. He didn't take to it too easily. He got very nervous being on live television. So they called me back and said, look, can you come in and just stand in until we figure out?

out what we're doing. So basically, I became the old shieldoo girl and I got called in and I did the job and I stayed really quiet and under the radar until they kind of got used to me and then I ended up staying there for 11 years. Wow. And then with loose women, because I want to get on to your present situation and the tour and the book and because all this happened around loose women really and you moved into loose women. When did you join the panel?

Lusumin is another tale of she'll do. Basically, I think, I can't remember if it was K Adams or Jackie Brambles. One of them was going off on maternity leave. And so they needed someone to stand in as anchor. And I had worked with the exec producer on a different job. And I met her for a cup of coffee one day. I was on maternity leave. And just for a catch-up chat and this sort of thing.

and she said, have you ever considered doing loose women? And I said, no, that's that program with the shouty women. No, no, I've never considered doing that. She said, oh, okay. So I, you know, carried on with my maternity leave. I say carried on. It was 12 weeks, so I was awful. On my first day back, she rang and said, ah, you're back at work.

Okay, would you come in on Thursday and anchor loose women because we basically want to try you out? I was so scared. So I finished my shift at GMTV at 8.30 in the morning. Went straight down in the lift to the morning meeting for GMTV. It's literally just on a different floor. And then hosted. And then basically I got the job because I was in the building anyway.

It was easy. I was already part of the kind of ITV family. And, you know, they didn't have to pay for another cab. I was already in. And that was how I got the job. I think you do that quite a lot, though. You said, oh, she'll do. They didn't have to pay for it.

you put in the McLean caveat. Yeah. And actually, you got it to be good. It's a female trait. It is a female trait. Yeah, but not necessarily. I'm just interested in it because it's something, listen, I do it as well and I think it's interesting that we,

we don't want to be seen to be pushy, self-promoters, you know. Oh my word, chips. Oh my word, chips. Thank you very much. That's a little surprise. Nick got chips. Thank you. You weren't sure what were they called the chips you were going to buy.

The dirty chips. Dirty chips. Nick so I can take a picture of this. Nick and Andrea was just a bit. Thank you. Yeah. So it was at Luce Women, which you've now become obviously one of the gang, a regular, part of the wallpaper now.

You've been there a long time. How long have we been there? I've been there 12 years. The longest serving perfume ever. We're eating chips. We're eating chips. And it was. while you were there, that you had things changed.

Yeah. Lots of things. Yeah. Which thing would you like to start with? I want to talk, because you've been open about it, about the hysterectomy and how that, you know, going through the menopause and all that sort of stuff. Yeah. And that was something you were very public about, and I really respected you for that.

Thank you. because women aren't often encouraged to be. I've had people say to me since then, because it happened in 2016. Yeah. Oh my God, everybody's banging on about the menopause now. You're just jumping on the bandwagon. And for one, that's really unhelpful.

And two, it's also really untrue. Because there was no bandwagon when I started talking about this. And if anything, you were... It was a risk talking about the menopause. Years before, a couple of years before, we had raised a subject in a Luserman meeting. And at the time we had a male editor. And somebody came up about the menopause. And we wanted to talk about it.

And he said, no, we don't talk about that. It's a ratings killer. And we all kind of looked at each other and went, well, we're a female program. And we're all of that sort of age. Surely we should be talking about it. No, it's a ratings killer. It was just dropped and never mentioned. And that was the kind of, now we look at that, aghast and think, how can that?

but that was the attitude of the time. So in 2016, for various long medical reasons, I needed to have a full hysterectomy. I had a lifetime for endometriosis. Endometriosis is a very painful condition. Basically involves scar tissue forming in your fallopian tubes and that sort of thing. I found out later that it was actually on my bladder and my bowel as well. was why I was in so much pain. So it was decided that I needed to have a full hysterectomy.

So I, you know, you do the normal thing, you check with your bosses, you clear the time off work, all that sort of stuff. It never occurred to me that I needed to tell anybody else because it's private. And it was the morning of the last show before I was going to have time off work where Linda Robson pointed out, you know, what are you going to tell them, sweetheart? She strikes me as quite straight talk. She's lovely. We all call a Nana Linda. I mean a straight talker in the sense that I think she would, there'd be no BS. Do you know what I mean? And she's got your best interest, 100% at heart.

And I said, oh, I'm not going to tell them anything because it's nobody else's business. She said, you've got to tell them something, sweet art, they'll think you're being fired. Oh my God, I didn't even thought about that. So basically, on air, Linda cornered me, and she went, never mind all that, this was just before the show was going to end. It's live television. You've got something to say, haven't you? And I kind of went a bit, ugh. And I said, yes.

Oh, actually, I'm going to be off work for six weeks because tomorrow I'm having a hysterectomy. So if you're wondering where I am, that's where I'll be and I'll see you then sort of thing. I was, I don't know how I felt. I mean, I was, obviously I knew I had to say something. So there we are. It's out there. I was also a bit scared because if you say the word hysterectomy and everyone knows it's got menopause connotations, I thought everyone would think I was old and that I could lose my job over it because then you're not seen as relevant or vibrant or all the kind of words they only use for women in the media and not for men.

So I went home, I went to bed the next day, woke up, had the operation. And what I didn't know is while all that was happening, within 24 hours, 10,000 women got in touch. Now that's both with the show, with me, directly. And they were clamouring for information. They are not just in a nosy way, but they wanted to know why I was having the hysterectomy, what had led up to it. They were going to have one. What information could I share? This now meant I was going to go into full surgical menopause.

how was I going to cope with that? What were my thoughts on HRT? It was mind-blowing. And when that happened, something clicked in my brain and I just thought, you've been looking at this all wrong. You're keeping quiet because you're worried about your job, you're worried about how you're going to be seen. And actually, if this is how I feel, and I'm on the telly

and people look up to me and think, well, wow, what she does is a really amazing job, what must it feel like if you don't have that opportunity and actually you're being really, really disingenuous and you're not being fair to the sisterhood if you just ignore all of these women and just crack on and carry on pretending you've got this fabulous life and everything is lovely and sweeping back into work and going, oh, how do you strike me? It was a total breeze. Anyone who struggles, well, they just need to eat more kale and jog because that is kind of how I think women have been treated in the past. So it totally changed my mind. And I thought, I need to find out more so I can pass the message on. So I went back to the doctor who'd helped me. She was a lovely woman who I saw through the NHS.

And I said to her, I'm thinking of writing a book. Could you do the medical stuff for me? And she was lovely and said yes. So I made the book part autobiographical in terms of, this is my hormonal journey. Because hormones, I wanted to show that hormones play such an important. part in our life from as a young woman as a young teenager yeah and actually that's where your journey starts you think of the menopause is the only time

that hormones come into play but it's not it's right from the very well it's from conception clearly well that's what I really love the book by the way I thought it was absolutely brilliant and personally I was fascinated but I also like the way yeah I felt it was like the narrative of your your story as a woman essentially and how your body worked. And again, that's something that I think as women we're not encouraged to ask too much about. And I've always wondered, is it because we're sort of internally,

everything's inside and it's like, we'll just keep it all there. Yeah, yeah. But I also think, I love it because it's encouraging women to not feel shamed about getting older as well and to ask questions. There's a diary as well you have, which is, at times, very difficult what you go through, you know, post. It's raw.

Yeah. I get, and the diary that is in the book is not airbrushed. This is literally what I wrote day by day for the full month of what happens immediately after having a full surgical, a full hysterectomy. So at this point, you were with Nick and that was quite a test, I mean, it's not, you know, you'd been together for a bit, but still that's, you write about that in a book. in terms of how it affects your relationship, but things that you have to face together.

Yeah, and it does affect your relationship. And I think that one of the key reasons, I think that we need to talk more about this stage that every woman who is fortunate enough to reach their 40s will experience. So we're talking about half the population of the entire world, is clearly female, if you want to just split it in binary. And obviously, in relationships,

you're talking about a wife or a mother or a sister or a daughter or a work colleague. You are, at some point in your life, you are going to be next to, whether in a, you know, just in a friendly capacity or otherwise, a woman who is experiencing this stage in her life. And yet we don't talk about it. And for me, talking about it within a relationship is the most important part of going through the menopause

because if you think about it statistically most marriages or long-term relationships break down in your sort of 40s you know we joke about it that you know people leave college or whatever and then you go through the whole thing of oh yeah I'm just going to so many weddings at the moment everyone's getting married and then oh we're going to so many christening's oh my god The white trouser suit weddings, which is when you get to our age, you go to the wedding and there's a white trouser suit instead of the dress. Instead of the dress. Exactly.

And then you start having the divorce wine evenings that you're sitting, you know, listening to, you know, women talk about their experiences. And I'm not saying in all cases, clearly not. But in many cases, relationships that break down for women in their 40s and 50s and beyond, The menopause is a key part of that because it's such a huge hormonal shift. Your behaviour does

do it. Hello! Who's that? That's a friend of my mum and dad. Come on Raymond! But do you think as well and it's interesting, Andrew, because I think traditionally I know our mother's generation,

my mother it was sort of that madman thing of the slight, You know, there's a separation between women and what they do in private, and that's women's talk. Yes, definitely. Do you know what I mean? Even that thing of having a baby traditionally,

it was like the women would gather around, and it was women discussed that. Very much. And, you know, even in terms of how I was with my first relationship, and when I first got married, as I say, it was who was my first boyfriend, I was basing a lot of that on my parents' relationship, which was, you know, never mind the fact that I was working ridiculously long hours and I'd also, I'd had a baby and what have you, I was still running the house and looking after the baby. And what that meant was that when he got home from work, he wanted to come home to a tidy home

because he'd had a long day. So what I used to do was, you know, bath, do whatever, tidy up the whole house so that I had no trace of plastic, toys and no muslin cloths drying anywhere. Get changed, put a fresh outfit on, make his dinner and make sure that when he walked in the door, I'd hand him a beer and go, how was your day? Because that's how I was raised. Charlie, the producer who's recently had a baby, is sort of standing there with her mouth open. But I think that's fascinating.

So what you're doing, again, and it's not taking up space, is pretending that the realities of motherhood don't exist in a way you're turning it into a movie version. Yeah, definitely. Or a Disney heroine? Oh my God. I mean, to be honest, I spent my whole life trying to be like enchanted and I realize

I've realized now I wasted so much time thinking that actually life could be like a Disney movie. Look at this beautiful dog running towards us. You are the most beautiful thing. Hello? What sort of talking to her? I'm not interested in there are other dogs. He looks like some kind of chocolate lab, doesn't he?

Yeah. He looks so excited. Oh, he was so... Oh, look at them. Oh, that's so cute. But I think our generation, you know, women in their late 40s now, I think we were, it was a strange generation because we've got these mixed messages. Yes. Of be independent, earn money, go out on your power suit, be all these things, but equally... When you get home, you better have the dinner on the table. Yeah. And always look immaculate and don't be crazy and mad. I mean, it was a lot. Yeah, it was a lot.

I remember being asked. I won't say who buy. Well, you know you work all these long hours. But what does he do for breakfast? Because you leave the house before him. So he gets his own breakfast. Do you really think that's right? Well, he's a grown man.

You can get his own breakfast. Sorry about that, Nick. Do you cook him breakfast at the weekends? I don't know. Nick, you look great. I'm now on my third marriage and Nick is very thin and very hungry. I was going to say, Nick's looking great. So tell me about the tour, because obviously this became a very successful book

and now it's become a tour, which I'm so excited about, because I'm coming to see you. Brilliant. So how does the live show work then? Well, we don't want to give too much away. There's an in-between stage in that when I finished the... the book, I typed the end and I thought, I don't want this conversation to finish. You know, we're now talking about not feeling shame, about feeling brave enough to start again, if you like, you know, don't see this period in your life as just as, it's called the change,

but actually the change can be for the good. So we started a website called This Girl Is On Fire.com.uk. And originally the name was sort of a bit of a joke, obviously, about hot flushes and this sort of thing. But we also wanted it to represent the fact that actually women, especially women of our sort of age, are amazing. Because we've got all this experience, all this life experience. We've finally started to figure things out. Yeah. But it's also the time when many women can start to feel invisible.

Yes. And that's such a shame because you've just got to this point, well, you know, know all this stuff and then you're expected to go off quietly into the night. I loved it. When you wrote about that in your book, I loved that because there is a part of me that thinks, is it a coincidental irony or is it because you're quite powerful? So once you stop feeling like a victim, once you stop feeling passive, once you stop feeling like your only your only currency is beauty, you become a bit more. dangerous essentially.

I think I think you're entirely right and I also and think that because we live in such a patriarchal society where the women obviously we're it's gone very quiet

but that take that to me that Nick just sits there and listens this and does that to me takes a confident man yes it does you know what I mean because it's yeah But yeah, sorry, your point was.

We were talking before about, you know, oh, it was women's things. You don't talk about. Yeah. And I am in no way saying that, you know, we need to run around shouting about every single aspect of our lives that, you know, you don't need to overshare. But I think there's a power in women that a lot of the time we're almost scared to let our full self show. And I'm only realizing this now. As someone who's always dim, I've kept myself small. I've done it in relationships so that they were to try and make sure that they survived.

Clearly it didn't work. I've done it in my career at times. Oh well, just keep quiet because, you know, don't make it, don't make a fuss. I've done it many, many times throughout my life. But actually, there was a quote we read recently, wasn't there, Nick? What was it said? It's not darkness that we fear. It's actually how bright that we can become.

And basically we're almost too scared of what might happen if we do become this brilliant thing that we're capable of. Yeah, if we allow ourselves to shine. And it's something that, I mean, maybe I'm a really blooming slow learner, but I only just realized this. And for me, the website has become this absolute passion project of mine

of giving women the opportunity to become the best possible version of themselves. Whatever themselves is, there's no cookie cutter thing for how a woman should be. We're all unique and we're all different. and our strengths, you know, lie in all sorts of different directions. So for me, it's about encouraging women to just be the best version of themselves. So in terms of what the tour is about, it's kind of, it's a bit of taking that on tour.

It started out, it was going to be linked to the book. We had to change the dates because of scheduling and all sorts of things. Because you've got to do, it's like, it's a big deal doing it for like that. Yeah. But actually, you know, at the time you think, oh god no we've got to change everything actually it's been brilliant because since SAS

who does wins has come out suddenly people are wanting to know all sorts of things about me in terms of what it was like taking part in it but also I've become much more in people's consciousness in terms of you're just the one that sits on the end on that woman show podcast as well yeah and so

actually people are wanting to know more and more about what's it being like working in live television for 20 years. Who have you interviewed? Who's been the worst guest? Who's been the best guest? Tell us some funny stuff. Come and see me.

Go and see me and you'll find out. But it's interesting that, isn't it? That I think what you're talking about and what I recognize is that thing about because I think sometimes when you're younger, there's that sense of having to pretend to be someone. And actually the irony is the most attractive thing you can be as a human being. is authentic is yourself. Yeah.

And sometimes, I think it's probably about eight months ago, I worked that out. Yeah. What do we like? We're so slow. I look at kids nowadays and I think, oh my word, you're figuring everything out so early. You're almost missing out this big chunk of right of passage, of tortured angst, of not knowing what you're doing. They all seem to have it figured out. I wanted to also mention, which is sure, I don't know if that's something you're going to

talk about on your tour, I hope it is, but you're brush with the SAS training. The SAS is definitely going to be mentioned because I was extraordinary, Andrea. I can show photos, obviously, of what happened, but I'm trying to see if I can get to show actual footage, because whilst millions of people saw me fall backwards out of a helicopter and land headfirst in a lake, like you do, I've only recently pieced together what I think is actually happening at the moment. And it's been really well documented that obviously I've had a, let's kind of in it, let's make it nice and neat and call it a decade. But I've had a really difficult period in my life, 10, 15 years or so, where my personal life has been incredibly difficult. I, you know, I was

married twice before I met Nick. I've had some really serious health issues. I've had life-threatening health issues. I've had mental health issues where I've had depression, I've suffered with extreme anxiety that is debilitating to the point where I've had to take myself off a train because I was having such a panic attack. I couldn't go into work one day. You know, I've been, I've really had quite a difficult time of it. And what I realized in the aftermath of SAS who goes wins. And the reason I did it was I wanted to challenge myself and see what I was capable of. But what I also realized was I'd forgotten how to be brave. And when I look back on my early life, obviously moving around and all this sort of stuff, it takes a certain amount of

bravery to walk into a classroom over and over again and go, hi, I'm Andrea, I'm the new girl. And there's a bravery in that. And then I was so brave. I went backpacking. around the world. I moved to London on my own. I'm going to hug you because you're being, you're giving yourself the credit you deserve. And it's right. You were brave. Oh, thank you. And you've spoken out about, and I'm personally very grateful to you because, you know, I think about that sort of stuff. I think, should I go on HRT? I don't know whether to ask my friends. Will they think I'm old and there? And when I asked them, will they say behind my back, God, Emily's knocking on a bit. I thought she was, do

You know what I mean? And actually, it's really lovely. What you've done is really important. And I think you've not just written a book or doing a live show. You're actually really helping other women. Oh, I hope so. I really hope so. Because sometimes you only know about things when you have conversations like we've had,

where you know, you've made me look at some things that I'd never realize. If we turn left just here. That you're right. I'd never thought about it before. But actually, although I've been quite quiet and looked at life from the sidelines, as it were, being quite an observer. You're a changemaker, this. I actually do stand up when I think things need to be said. And that's what I'm doing now.

Where's your car? This has been such a lovely day. And I've got to meet Nick. And have you, I know you've fostered some puppies recently. Of course, you haven't even talked. And you've given them back. That was just a brief thing. Yeah, we've done it twice now.

After we lost Jackson and we kind of had our raw moment of grief and then we spoke about, do we ever get another dog again? We got in touch with Battersea and asked whether we could take part in their fostering program. So we've had a few people say, oh, you're an ambassador, you're just doing this as some sort of celeb thing. We're doing this as a normal human beings who just want to foster dogs thing. And so we've fostered a few now and it's really wonderful because these are, incredible dogs come into our lives for a few weeks at a time and we get to know all these

different breeds and all their different little quirks and personalities and the last set we had were three little tiny Staffordshire bull terrier pups who were weenie I mean they were like little sausages weren't they and it was lovely really lovely. Is it sad to say goodbye to them or did you just feel no they were here and we helped them and they've gone to a forever home now? Yes and I feel that they've brought some love into our life and we've brought some love into theirs and sort of going full circle. I know we spoke about Jackson right at the start of this.

My daughter, Amy, we went to see, obviously we've seen a dog's purpose and we went to see a dog's journey recently. I mean, I was destroyed. We literally sobbed all the way through it. And we came out and she said, that's actually made me feel better about Jackson because, and this is something I really do feel,

that a dog comes into your life when you need them and then they go, but they're going to go and help someone else. And how I feel is Jackson is now helping someone else who needs them more than we do. I know. It's like, you know what, they're like Mary Poppins. It's true. Or Nanny McPhee.

Nany McPhee. It's so true. That's what I feel. I had struggling so much with grief and he came in And that's why people say, oh, aren't you panicking? Makes me feel better. And I hope other people listening to this feel better hearing what you said. Of course, it's hard and it's sad.

And it's awful losing your pet. But that sense of they existed. That's what I learned through grief is that there's a Myronjali quote, which is we can be, we can be, be and be better because they existed. So I feel that about your dog. And I feel I'll always think, God, they were there when I needed them. Yeah. And Jackson was for me.

and, you know, Jackson loved you so much. And I feel like he kind of knows, you know, she's all right now. She's with him. Oh, he handed over the baton to Nick. How cute. Nick's actually got tears in his eyes. I'm just so love Nick at this point. I don't know what to do with myself.

I better leave you before it all gets ugly. Andrea, I cannot tell you how much I've enjoyed this. I genuinely feel like I've made a friend. It's not just you're an amazing person. and I love Nick and I'm so happy for you that you've changed your life actually in more than one way. I think everyone should read your book.

It's absolutely brilliant and it really opened my eyes up even if you're not going through the menopause. Millennials, it's going to happen to you. There's no getting away from it. Read it now. You're going to have to say goodbye to Ray now, Andrea. Do you want to give him a little kiss? I mean, he's a bit smelly.

Hello, Stinkbaum. I really hope you enjoyed listening to that and do remember to rate review and subscribe on iTunes.