Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Bella Hull (Part One)

Episode Date: June 30, 2026

This week Emily takes a sunny stroll with the brilliantly funny comedian Bella Hull. With temperatures soaring during the heatwave, Ray sensibly stayed at home in the cool, but that didn't stop him becoming a major topic of conversation.Bella chats to Emily about discovering a love of comedy at a remarkably young age, performing her first stand-up gig at just 17, and why one of her biggest motivations for applying to Cambridge University was the chance to join the legendary Footlights.Since then, Bella has become one of the UK's most exciting comedy voices, supporting the likes of Phil Wang and Russell Howard, joining the writing team on Saturday Night Live UK, and making memorable appearances on Have I Got News For You. Bella's brand new show, Mad Cow Disease, heads to the Edinburgh Festival this August, playing daily at Monkey Barrel from August 3rd to 30th. Tickets are available now at https://www.edfringe.com.Follow Emily: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilyrebeccadean X: https://twitter.com/divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Will NicholsMusic: Rich JarmanArtwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've got a celiac terrorist and see if people react. You do not want to give it gluten. That's all I'll say. This week's guest on Walking the Dog is the very wonderful comedian Bella Hull. Now, it was peak heat wave on the day of our walk and way too hot for my little furry short king. Yes, I am referring to my dog, thank you very much. So I decided to leave Ray safely in the cool at home for this one. And by the way, dogs really are at risk. from heat stroke in hot weather, so it's always best to be on the safe side.

I tend to wait until late evening to take Ray out for a walk when it's hot. It's all very elderly gentlemen taking a post-dinner stroll. But fortunately, Bella couldn't wait to hear all about Ray. Well, frankly, she didn't have a choice, as that's all I talk about. And I couldn't wait to sell her on dogs, as she's always been very much a cat person. And we had the loveliest chat talking about Bella's childhood, and this passion she had for comedy from a very young age, she did her first stand-up gig when she was just 17.

And in fact, she was so committed to a career in comedy that one of her main reasons for applying to Cambridge University was to join Footlights. She's since gone on to win huge acclaim for her live shows, alongside supporting the likes of Phil Wang and Russell Howard. She's also now one of the brilliant writers who bring us the genius Saturday Night Live UK, and she's absolutely stormed it,

have I got news for you? At least once a week, I like to think of Ian Hisslop's face when she announced she was only doing that show as part of her Duke of Edinburgh Award. Talking of Edinburgh, Bella will be taking her new show, Mad Cow Disease, up there for the festival. She'll be performing at Monkey Barrel every day at 1230pm from the 3rd to the 30th of August. So if you're heading up there, do make sure to book your tickets to see her via edfringe.com. I have to say, I just loved Bella. In fact, I'm a bit unhealthily obsessed with her. I just found her so incredibly funny and honest and easy to talk to.

She's one of those people who you just instantly want to befriend the moment you meet her. And the bad news for Bella is that as she's contractually obliged to meet Ray, she's going to have to see me again, whether she likes it or not. Really hope you enjoy my walk with Bella. Here's the fabulous woman herself. I'm so thrilled, Bella. Thank you so much for doing walking the door. Thank you so much for having me.

I absolutely love this podcast. Do you? Yeah, I'm scared about opening up that it's right. Actually, there's no such thing actually with me. That's actually one of the things I think when I meet a new person that I get close to, they feel quite terrified of is that like, for me, like, a private piece, a piece of information that another person would guard with their life, I don't think it's precious in any way. Like, I don't know, I just think sharing is caring.

I've always done the most oversharing shows and stuff. And I don't know, I kind of look back sometimes just on the podcast I've done when I was in like different relationships. And I just think, oh God, the things I was like sharing is just, I wish I hadn't. But oh well. So do you think you are an oversharer? I think, well, I mean what's normal, but definitely, yeah. I think I sort of, it's how I get close to people sometimes.

Yeah. And it's almost like how I show a vulnerability. that people then connect to. Like, I do have that thing of whenever there's like an awkward moment at a party, I'll just say the most heinous fact about myself to sort of try and fawn to try and like get them to connect with me. It is interesting that, isn't it? I found that sometimes if I go in early with a bit of self-deprecation,

it's a real, it's like people relax. Yeah, completely. And they kind of think, oh, okay, I don't need to, there's not going to be status games here. you're not interested in being a butt superior to me. Exactly, exactly. And you've not come into this, like, interaction with an agenda. Yeah.

Like, I think, actually, it's something that, like, quite a lot of, like, older female comedians have told me off about, actually. Really? Is, like, coming into a green room and, like, immediately calling myself a worm or saying, or, like, coming off stage and saying, even if it went really well, saying, oh, that went really badly, or, like, kind of having to, I feel this kind of needs sometimes to reframe everything. do as a big failure for people to like me somehow. I don't know. Can I tell you why I like you? Because we've been walking for about 40 seconds. Normally at this point I'm like, tell us about your doggies or here's right. You have said, I mean I just feel like a failure and I'm a big overshower.

I'm obsessed. That's the thing. I just can't I can't abide by like other forms of chat. I find it really impossible to do. And I think so. Sometimes people get freaked, do you ever find people get freaked out by you? Because I immediately will bring up a subject to conversation that I think is like really normal. Yes, I did it the other day with a friend of mine who is very high up, let's say, in TV now. But I've known him since he was incredibly young. So I don't think of him as very high up in TV. I think of the person I knew when he was 17, obviously.

And we'd run, I was with a friend of mine and we'd run into him. And I started to meet, I introduced him and I immediately started telling a story about when he was freaking out about a girl he was once dating and how embarrassing. And I suddenly thought, oh shit, I don't think I should have done this because that's just normal to me. It's kind of humanising. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Completely. And I kind of just see it as like this currency that makes me able to connect with people and it makes people like me like other people when other people do it. So why would I not just reach for that currency all the time?

Yeah. But then I think I don't realize that like some people are like respect their own privacy and people have. Who are these people now? To me it's like also I think especially with stand-up like I'm on Friday it's the 10 year anniversary of my first ever gig. And I feel quite like emotional about it. And it's like made me like do quite a lot of reflecting on, you know, the only kind of consistency in my life really for the last 10 years has been so many people have come and gone and relationships and whatever. and stand-up has always been the thing that has like been there. And stand-up is kind of exactly that muscle of like whenever you're,

I've been in the most like pain emotionally in my life. It's like stand-up has always been the answer. And like making people laugh about it has always been the answer. So it's almost like this very ancient, like incredibly strong defence mechanism I have to like cope with life. I love this. This is my favourite start ever, it's the podcast. No small talk. That's what I'm calling you. Bella, no small talk. Carl. Well, I need to just say we should establish that we have no Ray with us today. We have no Ray. And I know you were looking forward to meeting him. I was. I'm sorry to deprive you of that. But we, I have taken the responsible decision. I hope people will agree with me. Because it's something crazy, isn't it? What's the temperature? Let's boost it up a bit. So I look even more. 62 degrees. It's about, it's in the high 30s or something, or low 30s. It's too hot for Ray.

So I'm sure people will understand, listen to this, Bella, what's going on here? Can you hear that music? Are they working out? How are you with interactions with strangers? Are you quite shy, Bella? Or would you say you're outgoing? I think I'm an extrovert. I think I'm sort of quite a selective extrovert is what I'm kind of have learnt about myself. Right. My social battery is like burns bright and then fast, I think. Yeah. Like I, yeah, I have no issue talking to strangers, but I'm quite, I think I'm often quite like lost in my thoughts.

Yes. Like my entire childhood was just like my parents just clicking in front of my face, like trying to get me to return to Earth because I was never. Really? Yeah. I was just always kind of deep in, in. imagination and it was kind of like a problem like I would really get in trouble at school about it and people thought it was very rude and I think now it's like now we were talking about therapy before we started recording and now it's sort of

like there are all of these names that have been attributed to it that it's dissociation and it's to do with stress and whatever but I actually kind of think I've I don't know I don't know how I feel about that I think I actually quite like the fact that I have like a big imagination and I often just will go go somewhere else. I'm often somewhere else. I think with interacting with people in real life, sometimes a lot is going on in my head during the interaction that like doesn't translate. And when you were a kid, I want to go back a bit to your childhood, because we should say at this stage, I should establish you don't have any pets currently, do you?

No, I don't have any pets currently. Actually, a week ago, yesterday it was a week, my 16 year old cat Timmy died. Oh, Timmy! He was my 11th birthday present and yeah, he died kind of unexpectedly he had like some intestinal. He lived with my mum and...

Oh poor Timmy! It's very odd grieving an animal because you feel so silly but it's so real. It's like there's this kind of at the baseline there's just like deep sound madness and then on top of that there's this like oh come on for god's sake that I feel but

he was um Siamese so he was incredibly like they're very characterful oh I love Siamese and they're very the only meow he would ever do was aw that was the only noise he ever made even when he was like 10 days old he never made a normal meow it was always this like ah like this arduous guttural cry from the deep I think it's interesting what you're saying about that pet grue thing and by the way I'm really sorry you lost your Oh, thank you. Because I think a relationship like that, and I do think of it as a relationship, is that... Totally.

I think people can be dismissive about pet grief, and I actually think an animal like that, they're this sort of... What they represent is they're the witness to your life. Totally. The word witness actually came up quite a lot when I was talking about it the other day. Like, he's kind of the only witness to my naked teenage body. Like, he's the only, like, witness to so many... Ray's definitely the only witness to my body these days. But they do like see you in these quiet, incredibly intimate moments.

You don't think anything of it, obviously, because it's an animal. But they kind of, there is something about having an animal in your life when, you know, as a teenager I was very angsty and very like, you know, I don't kind of remember those years with very much fondness at all. I was very much of lonely and, you know, yeah, definitely and felt. And then I think when I started stand up, that's when a lot of things clicked into place for me. and I suddenly had this, all of my angst had a sort of useful location to go to, I think. But like, sorry Bella, there's a little dog here. Hello, doggy, you've come up for an early morning stroll. I haven't brought Ray out, so I'm sorry you can't meet him.

So sweet. Yeah, he looks a bit overwhelmed, this dog. Hello, darling. Panting. It's very hot, isn't it, darling? It's a hot day. Very hot day. What kind of dog is?

Very sweet dog. What kind of dog is this? Sea interior. What kind of terrier? Celia. Oh, he's so cute. It's lovely to meet you. Bye-bye.

Do you know what happened there, Bella? What? Celiac terror. What is the celiac terrorist? What did she say? I didn't know what she said either, and do you ever do that? I asked the first time, I pretended I'd heard, and then I thought, no, I'm going to be brave and ask again.

And then you'd... I still didn't get it, so I couldn't go back. You've got to let it go. What do you think celiac terrorists? I thought she said celiac terrorist. I'm going to say that's dog priest. Someone said, what kind of dog have you got, Bella? I've got a celiac terrorist and see if people react.

You do not want to give it gluten. That's all I'll say. Yeah, I got a couple of celiac terrorists. It's so funny, but the time you just have to accept that's what she said. Because that's, you know, you know what, we'll never know. We'll never know. She's gone. In our world that is what she said. Yeah, exactly. So growing up, was home London, I've heard Henley mentioned with relation to you. Yeah, so I grew up in Ealing. Teach you, oh, Connie Huck's going to be obsessed by you. Yeah, I love Connie Huck. She went to school as me, actually. She went to Notting Hill and Ealing. She's going to be obsessed. Where did you grow up in Ealing? I grew up in next to Ealing Common until I was 11 and then my parents got divorced and then I lived. And what does your mum and dad do?

My mum worked for the NHS. She worked in audiology. And then my dad, I'm not sure. I think he worked in like in theatres, in surgery, theatres in hospitals. So they both had medical jobs. Medical jobs, but not doctors? Not doctors, no. But like there was this kind of obsession for me to, my brother is a doctor.

Oh, really? And I think there was an obsession for me to be a doctor as well. And I sort of, I, my parents did. divorce was quite sort of messy and like we had to I had to live with my granny who was in Kent and go to school for like two years. Yeah. Commuting and I think that after that like my parents felt so sort of like they couldn't actually tell me what to do with my life anymore because it was like they had sort of not, I don't know, there were some things, lots of sacrifices that I had to make for them to in their relationship. So I think after that then stand up sort of became

But I was quite like arty at school. Like I really loved art and painting and drawing and I really wanted to go to art school for a long time. And then I kind of had a lot of art like phases of wanting to do different things. And then I think stand up was the thing that sort of became this amalgamation of everything that I wanted to do because it was sort of artistic and rebellious

but it was also kind of academic as well and like disciplined and math. mathematical in some way, but also very expressive, but there was a way in which you could make money from it in some way if you got good at it and I don't know, there was just like a it felt more like a clear route for me, I think. And when you were growing up, I'm trying to get an impression of Bella as a kid. Yeah. And I always ask people, because I think it can sometimes give you an insight into this is if I was one of your friends' parents and they said, oh, what's that little Bella hull like? What kind of kid is she? What do you think they'd have said? I think it massively changed actually.

I think when I was in primary school, I was very shy. I think very kind of probably a case. I think I had quite a sort of intense sense of justice. Like if someone, the wrong person was being told off at school, I remember thinking that was so bad. And it like made me feel like so stressed out. And like I had quite a, I was almost quite a rule follower. Like I was thinking the other day about,

Yorkie bars and I remember there was like a girl in my class that they weren't for they weren't for girls and she ate a yorky part and I remember thinking we're gonna get arrested like that's you've broken the law and I felt like I was complicit in a crime like I was just a very very anxious I think when I was small and definitely like had a lot of counting obsessions and things and and then I think after my parents got divorced when I was 11 I think that's when I became sort of the person that feels very familiar to me now like I became like I became quite like humour became this way of survival in some sense, like socially. And I think I became extroverted and rebellious and much mouthier. And do you think looking back, my parents got divorced around the same age actually. And I think it's a funny age, isn't it? I mean, it's never a great age. No, no. But I think... And it was definitely brewing for quite a few years. Was it? think is why I was so sort of shy and stressed out as a kid. And did you have brothers and sisters?

Yeah, I have an older brother who is a doctor. He's a doctor, isn't he? And we were separated after our parents got divorced, so we didn't see each other for about six years. That must have been pretty tough. Yeah, so I think that's why like... Was that because you both chose to live with different parents? Yeah, and it was just, I mean, they tried to figure it out with social workers and stuff,

but eventually I think my brother was sort of 14, so it just kind of... he didn't want to and therefore things just kind of solidified in that way which I think so I think it's kind of so did he live with your dad and you live with your mum? Yeah so you didn't have to do that awful thing which

you see in those films where the children have to go into court and say I want to live with this parent did you? I didn't have to go into court but I had my own lawyer when I was 11 yeah and I just had loads of like I mean I was constantly sort of being pulled out of class of social work I mean it was just

And it was so kind of shameful, I think, because, you know, we were middle class. We were sort of like a middle class mixed race family and me and my brother both had to private school. Yeah, my dad's guy and he is Indian. And it was kind of like we were this aspirational family on this aspirational road. And then suddenly everything kind of, I think that that was a really important realization that I had at age 11 was just like you can sort of lose everything. I think we kind of all felt like we lost this status and I felt sort of quite lonely and I don't know like I didn't I didn't know who I just didn't know what was going to happen I think and I and I think that that sort of made gave me this gun ho sort of attitude towards things that then eventually led to me doing stand up and also I think I had a lot of demons and a lot of unprocessed anger and I felt misunderstood and I felt kind of like I had. I was, I don't know, I think I just felt very angsty and it kind of pushed me towards doing something expressive. And were you, what was your sort of school role? Do you know what I mean

by that? Like you get, I think, I was definitely the class clown actually. Were you? Yeah, definitely, which a lot of comedians said that they really weren't the class clown and that the class clown was a really funny person that now does a sensible job. But I definitely was the class clown and like I kind of actually think that the ability I had to make my friends laugh and I was like 13 14 that's the fact that they kind of loved me when I was being funny I think yeah something that was very important to me it wasn't something that I so I started doing silent when I was 17 so yeah we were talking about you as a kid and you were the class clown sort of thing you were extroverted I think so yeah but sort of like

I think that there was always... Look at the appella, look at the dog, see who it is. That's a celiac terrorist, back again. Back again to blow up some gluten. Back again at this time it's first. Yeah. Yeah, I think that there was a lot... I think I was actually very angry as a teenager,

but humour was the acceptable outlet for it. And do you think the angle was a large part based around what was going on at home as well? Definitely. I think I kind of felt like I'd sort of lost half of my family overnight and I sort of there was no solution to it and there was no kind of I don't know my mum worked very late as well which I'm like so kind of me and my mum have an amazing relationship and I like couldn't love her more and she worked really hard to send me to a really good school and we have a really good relationship but I think I was alone quite a lot when I was a teenager and and that kind of metastasized into I think quite a lot of feelings that, but also I think all teenagers are pretty angsty. Like, I don't think I was kind of special in that way, but yeah. I think it did manifest as me. I was almost very funny at school because underneath all of that humour was like quite a big iceberg of,

yes. Of like, I don't know, angst and negativity and pessimism somehow, and the humour was a way to kind of pop that bubble, I think. Yeah, that sounds like... And so it's interesting a lot of people, I mean one of the things I often are stand-ups when they talk about their lives and it's all wonderful and great and everything's picture perfect.

Then I always get to the point where I say, okay, so what's your damage? Because there's a part of me... I've been bled with it on this one. Well, yeah, you've led with it, which is interesting. Yeah. I can you see the connection between wanting to do that I mean of course I'm not saying all stand-ups are damaged I'm just saying there's often an inciting incident

isn't there of some sort that propels you to want to take that sort of nightly insane risk with your yeah dignity with you and I think maybe it's a for me as well it was this idea of having we could sit on this bed we just we've just come to sit on a bench in memory of Mark Playford what a great name who worked here for Morrison Auto Services and Thames Auto with his friends and colleagues gone too soon. I love an immemorial bench. You know there's a kind of I've read something about in memorial and benches that there are like there are areas that nobody wants to put an in the memorial

bench and there's such a long waiting list for some for lots of people but yeah I love them. I think you can never have too many benches really. I think it's a nice way to remember someone. Oh, totally. It's really nice. And what I like about it is that it's kind of integrating the memories into life, rather than putting it in a place which is the associate with death and finality. It's quite nice. Yeah, you're surrounded by trees and grass.

I remember sitting on a bench once in Highbury Fields and a big group of friends came up to the bench and said, this is our friend's bench. Yeah, and I really made me, like I sort of kind of kept it together and then they left and I just immediately started crying because they were all like being really smiley and like they were just like, oh this thanks for sitting on this bench and it made me feel really sort of, I've really moved me. Yeah, that would have made me very emotional. Because I think you don't really, I think also like you spend so much of your time with the same people and just kind of actually having like a snapshot. of deep intimacy of somebody else's pain and then being able to share that with me when they didn't know me or know my name and then they just left and like they were just something so simple they were just happy I was sitting on the bench that's so nice isn't it yeah I think if I

paid for a memorial bench I'd want to know one to sit on it yeah I would be very red rope about it I'm afraid yeah me too if someone spill the drink on it or because it would feel like a a form of that person. I feel protective of it. I still feel a bit protective over, I have my family are all buried, my sister and my parents in Highgate Cemetery. And the West Cemetery for ages, which is where they are, was private. So you needed to have a membership card or you'd have to pay, it was, it was complicated to get it. It was basically like, so, a house. Yeah. And which I thought my family, it's what they would have wanted, you can show biz types. But what was interesting. thing was I can remember I would feel because I know this is awful and again I'm sure

they would have forgiven me for this but then you'd find I'd be like new entries would come in yeah and I'd get a little bit of a free sign I think George Michael this week right territorial but then they opened it up to everyone and you can now sort of enter you don't need the so-how house membership card when you go in and isn't it awful I was like oh oh oh it's not as good as it was this cemetery this exclusivity thing And what is that? It's like you kind of need... Even in death? Yeah, especially in death, I think.

You need them to feel... They need to feel a bit special. Yeah, totally. It's so ridiculous. I think people have such, like, different attitude. I think I would be exactly the same as you. I think I wouldn't want anyone disrupting an area. I think I would feel very territorial of it.

I just want them to feel, and I suppose when George Michael went, I think, oh. Did you feel like he was stealing the thumb? He did have a tendency to do that. Yeah. Anyway, going back to young Bella, who I think I would have liked Young Bella, was Young Bella sort of, were you confident physically about how you look? Were you not? Not at all. I hated my body.

Absolutely hated it. And I hated my face. I like hated, I think that that was part of it as well as I was, I was kind of an overweight kid. But actually looking back at photos now, like in my head, I was. like in my head I was like the I was a whale I was like the and I've seen like some photos recently and I don't think there are any photos of when I was kind of at my biggest but I I despised the way I looked and I think that like so so deeply and the thought of it was I think I also I was really a binge eater when I was a teenager and that was

almost kind of that was a mechanism that I had for dealing with stress and I didn't even know it was a it was something that I was not even telling myself I was doing that when I like heard of the term that it was a it was a thing that happened to people I couldn't believe it because I was like of course I have that like my also my mum is very thin and very healthy and very kind of discipline with what she eats and she I mean I was like just desperately like dieting a lot and then and then going crazy and eating like an entire packet of biscuits and then like running myself an ice bath and sitting in it so

i could burn like 300 calories around the like i was i definitely like was in these and i feel very healthy and not healthy now but i feel i feel very like relaxed about food now like i don't really think about it very much at all and i find it i don't really cook but i think it's got fine but for me food is just something i would almost rather for me it's healthy just to not really have a relationship at all because i think i probably had 10 years in my life where every single calorie I ate, I knew I had eaten it or I knew it or if I hadn't, it was like this huge crime that I'd committed. And was this when you were a teenager?

Yeah, this was probably from the age of like, probably from the age of like seven to 22. And then for some reason, I think when I went to uni or I'd just relax. Like my weight's always fluctuated quite a lot and I've, I'm always going to be like squidgy and I'm totally fine with that. And I think when I was growing up, I went to a school where everyone was very, thin. Like squiggly. Yeah. By the way I don't agree with that review of yourself. I think you've you know but actually no I was going to compliment you and say and I'm not going to do that because that's when people do that it's kind of feels that's not I don't know it's but I do I understand

that completely but as an older person what I can, specifically an older woman as I can tell you looking back it was so difficult because I remember that my biggest regret of my life and I'm so glad you've got to that place earlier in your life of not having that acceptance. But I look at photos of myself now. Yeah, I know. I feel exactly the same. And I would look at those photos and think, but you had a tiny waist and big bum, but that's just how I am. Now that kind of body is celebrated. Back then when I was growing up, in this of 90s and 80s, those horror years, when everyone was called fat, you know, it was pre-kim. Yeah, yeah, and the curves weren't there. It was pre- Kim Kardashian and Jalo, so actually

back then there was only one look. Wath bones. Yeah. And I think it was the Cape Moss era. And any I think also like the reason I hated my body was because it was evidence of how like unable to cope with stress how unable I was to cope with stress because it was like evidence of all this binging

that I think was this kind of secret in private and then suddenly it was like out in the world and nobody fancied me and you know it was I think it was. I bet they did though and that's what the interesting thing is that I remember looking back and occasionally I remember there was a few times when someone would show interest in me, like a comment on my bum,

which I'd always seen as a shameful thing that it stuck out and it was big. And when I'd get a compliment on that or when someone I think, what's wrong with him? He must be a bit weird. Or he might have some kind of fetish or something. And I actually used to feel that way about like, because I'm mixed race and I feel, like, I'm very like white passing, I think now. but almost weirdly the older I get the whiter I look. Like it's a really weird thing because when I was a kid I looked like, you're getting more maga?

Why are you getting more maga as you get old? Secretly like getting all of this surgery to try and like Michael Jackson myself. But like I, when I was a teenager, I think I looked a lot more like ethnic and stuff. And so when at uni, and whenever someone had a crush on me, I think I had this like deep, well, there's something really fucked up about you that you must like this. Like that must be evidence of something. deeply deviant thing that's happening for you psychologically that you must be trying to like rebel against your and it's definitely something I feel like insecure about like if somebody's

if I'm seeing someone in their type is is not sort of it is girls that don't look like me at all I will feel extremely into but I think that's just being a girl I don't know I'm then equally I think it's also bit creepy and I do think this is a more male thing when men have a type like yeah Only dark women. Yeah, no, that's really horrible. It's kind of weird. Yeah. I think that.

I used to know a man like that and every girlfriend he has kind of look the same. Yeah, and you kind of think, are you trying to get over the first one? Like, is that why you're going out with the people that look? Did the first one break your heart so much, but you haven't realised that that you're kind of only, you're going for that again and again to try and resolve it. Yeah.

All of my boyfriends have actually looked incredibly, different. Yeah, me too. Broadly. I really like us. We're better. Yeah, I know. It's also like, I think I almost like whenever I'm, if I break up with someone I'm done with

them, I don't want to do that again. I'm not going to go after a similar type of person. I'm just going to try something different next time. It just always seems a bit 70s to me. That's what men said in the 70s. Oh, I like blondes. Yeah, it's really... Oh, I like boobs.

Oh, I like brunettes. Yeah, I don't like that. don't like that. Are you someone from a carry-on film or something? I know and also you feel like an object and you don't feel like a person and that's sort of a really horrible feeling as well. But yeah I think I've definitely like, it's not necessarily that my, I feel actively very positive about my body. I don't think that's true at all but I think I just don't think about it. And that's something I feel able to, I feel quite proud of. That's a really great place to get to. But then I see photos, it's the same thing. I see photos

of myself from like five years ago and I remember viscerally the thoughts I I had first looking at that photo and the moment thinking I looked awful and fat and horrible and looking back and being like I wish I looked like that. God I looked so nice and I wish I just had the confidence at the time. Well it's interesting because you can't ever see yourself the first time someone sees you and I will tell you something which is when I first met you I didn't first meet you I first saw you. I was at our mutual friend Pierre Navelli had a book launch. A few years ago I think it was. Oh God I got so hammered at that actually.

Well, I didn't see that, fortunately. I had to get put in a taxi. But I did. I love that. It's quite 80s. Yeah, very 80s. I do remember walking in and I was chatting to Pierre's parents or something. And then I remember you walked in and I went, oh my God, who's that?

She looks like some sort of like Vogue model or something. Like I was so struck by how stunning you were. God, that's so nice. Oh, my God. But I'm thinking, that's a bit weird at a comics party, having someone that stunning, no offence to Pierre and Phil Wayne. But I was like, suddenly he looked like this girl who'd from some else she had walked in. Oh my God, that's so nice. And then someone said to me, it might have been Julia and your manager, or someone had said, someone said, oh, that's Bella Hull.

She's really funny. She's a comic. And I went, oh, fuck off. She's funny as well. Oh, God, that's so nice. But that was my first impression. And it was interesting how... It's incredibly surreal, actually, to hear that

because I think I... It actually sometimes makes me feel quite like... Not devastated, but I'm just like, how can I be... In my head, I'm like a walrus made of lard and I'm like limping around in rags and like I walk into every room and everyone goes, yuck. Like, I just wish that I could like find some...

Like, it feels very surreal. And I'm sure, especially because that was a few years ago, I'm sure at the time I felt even worse about myself. Like I think I've kind of, it's so kind of, thank you for saying that. I'm gonna like print out the transcript of this and get it as a tattoo. Well, you never see yourself

through other people's eyes and it was interesting and of course I then judge myself for thinking, you know, oh, and I do that as well. What sort of a feminist am I? You know, just thinking, oh my god, that girl looks like an animal, but having said that, I was still able to look at you

without knowing nothing about you and thinking, she's some sort of Spanish, movie star or something. And then when I heard you're a stand-up, I was like, oh, for fuck sake, she's funny as well. That's so unfair. And then I've subsequently become a huge fan of your work and you are brilliantly funny. And I wanted to talk about how you go from, I'm getting a sense of this kind of teenage Bella now. Are you very academic? Was that something, because you went on to do History of Art at Cambridge. And was that always the plan?

Was that expected of you from your parents? Not at all. I wasn't very academic. I was creative and I was really good at English. And like I was sort of, I think very zoned out at school. But then like occasionally I would do something that would really impress everyone and people would say, where that come from? Like sort of once a year I would hand in an essay that would then like, you know, like I won like a poetry competition when I was 11. but it was like this poem that I just sort of obviously randomly found flow state when I was 11 for one day

and wrote this poem that won this competition and then everyone I think everyone was just about like what like I was clearly sort of creative and expressive but very undisciplined and I kind of resented like I wasn't sporty I I really like there were so many girls at my school that were like top they were golden girls and they had these smooth ponytails and like Sweet Valley High we used to have these books called Sweet Valley High when I was growing up and it's those sort of shiny hair, healthy. Long tan legs. Yes, long tan legs, athletics, kind of everyone fancies them. They're really good at everything.

They're clean, they're healthy, they're strong. And I was just like weak and fat and. No, I know. When I think of the girls that, why, I went to. And crazy as well. Like, I think people thought I was a bit crazy. But emotionally unregulated. Totally emotionally unregulated, like sobbing in the corridor,

bit overweight, rolling my skirt up so high and then like getting told off. the bus stop, like, I didn't have it together. And then I think when I, I kind of eventually found a place for my brain to be in, like I think I, also I think, and I know other people that have done this, but I, I wasn't that academic and I wasn't that interested in academia, really until I discovered, I learned about the footlights and I was obsessed when I was like 15, 16, which is funny. This is a Cambridge footlights, you should say. Yeah, the Cambridge Footlights, which is like a comedy troupe that is that like Phil Wang and people and I was obsessed with Phil wow when I was like 15 16 which is funny so Phil's obviously older so you were aware of him

already I was aware of all of these people and I was aware of Pierre and I was aware of like and there were YouTube videos of the current footlights when I was like 14 15 and they had about 14 views and they were all me like in my bedroom watching like Liam Williams and I was just a freak like I was in my room alone with my cat binge eating biscuits watching Janavalee. Yeah. I mean, I can't wait to tell him after this.

He knows though. He knows because I told them immediately. Like I tell these people immediately these things. I immediately humiliate myself every time I meet people. Do you think that was your motivation to sort of work hard? You obviously must have got good results to get into Cambridge. And was that your motivation? That's fascinating.

So it was footlights rather than getting a degree from... Definitely. And I kind of like, I really wanted to do an art foundation, but I wasn't sure about it, but I kind of, I, you know, I used to, and I'm, I'm thinking about my teenage years and I literally used to just, you know, I was lucky to live in London, but I used to get my oyster card and have my iPod touch and just say I'm going out for the day. And I used to just go to the tape modern or the tape Britain and just sit on my own, listening to music, just staring at paintings for like four hours. Yeah. And then just go home. And that was like the whole day. so crazy to think about like would I ever do that now and it's like probably no because I'd be like on TikTok or on reels or doing something horrendous but like I used to sort of I was very like I actually felt very kind of almost spiritually connected to art when I was like a teenager and I still I kind of feel

that comedy is an incredibly artistic thing even though it's commercial and it's entertainment and it's much more like you know it can be seen as much more plasticy than like visual art um doing history of art and when I found and it's like you like posh girl degree and it kind of there was so many aristocrats and like people that were incredibly like glamorous when I was doing it and I always felt like a bit it's like school all over yeah it was like I felt a bit blobby and clumsy and like this sort of they were always immaculate these girls yeah I went to school with the loss of them it might I went to a north London girl school and quite judgmental and French and you know like I just felt like such a like huge English frigid

lonely, like, blob and they were all, like, going out with, they were a 40-year-old boyfriend and, you know, and I was, like, doing stand-up. It was somehow related to the Picasso family. Yeah, exactly. And they all had, like, paintings in their, I don't know, they, they were very glamorous and sophisticated, and I didn't feel that I was. But you know what's interesting? It's so interesting, isn't it?

is that they're not writing for Saturday Night Live now. No, no. And I think it's also like I was so willing to like suffer after uni as well. Like I didn't think that I was sort of, anything would arrive for me automatically. I don't think. And like I had been in footlights, but I didn't really like, I didn't feel all the time like I fit in when I was in footlights. and I didn't feel like my comedy style was that. You know, I feel like occasionally I would stumble into a good,

I would write something good, but it was like I would write one good thing and then the seven other things I wrote would just bomb. You must have been so thrilled. If this was your ambition, which you realised, you must have been so thrilled that day when you got the letter. Yeah. Or however they'd let you know these days, you know. Yeah, yeah.

I was so thrilled. Saying you'd got in. And your parents were they really proud? They were so proud. I remember actually like, I remember the day I actually got the letter where I, I was a bit of a scyver and I skived off school the day that I knew I was going to get the letter or find out either way. Because I was like, if I get in, I'm not going to school. And if I don't get in, I need to go to bed anyway. Because it was just, I had, I had fixated so heavily on being in the footlights.

And I think I had fixated so heavily on like that being, I'm quite all or nothing. And I'm quite like, something I wish, like, I think I've gotten easier out over the years is like something not going to plan and it not meaning that the entire world. falls apart but I think if I had had this like difficult adolescence and it felt like if I can get over the line and get do this then everything's going to be okay forever yeah and my mum had been trying to make these pecan pies for my stepdad she'd made like five or six because she kept on making them and burning them and then making another one and burning it but she didn't want to throw them away but then she knew that if they were out in the flat I would eat them so um she got my stepdad to hide them so I knew that they were

like six pecan pies hidden around the flat and I was sciving off school and I got the letter saying I had gotten in and I was so happy that I lay on the floor and I turned to the side and I swore under the sofa six pecan pies and then I just I just ate like two or three pies so something of a partridge in a pear tree what when you after you left Cambridge as you say it's interesting because going deciding to become a comedian and this would be true of your peers like Piano Belli and Phil Wang. It's an interesting thing because going to certainly any sort of Russell Group University, let's be honest, does give you, I suppose, a certain element of status.

It can make you feel, okay, well, I've got, you know, I've worked hard enough that I'm entitled to feel I've got a slight head start graduating. Totally. But what's interesting about stand-up is it takes that away from you, doesn't it? Because it's totally egalitarian. It doesn't really matter. It's one of those few careers that it doesn't actually matter where you went to university. I know some people would disagree with me and say, oh, there's a Cambridge sort of elitist thing. But in a gig situation, it's not going to help you, is it?

And I definitely kept it very strong. It wasn't something that I mentioned. And I also like, you know, I had some, I had some, I guess connections as a result of having gone to Cambridge. But not, you know, nobody, I didn't know anybody that was in the industry. I think the only reason it was helpful was because I then knew people that were pursuing stand-up as a legitimate thing afterwards. And I got sort of a receptionist job after uni and I was... Where was the receptionist job? It was at United Agents.

So I'd answer the phone. I'm ringing up. Hello. Are you with United Agents? No. I was actually at one point. But if I'm ringing you up, I ring up, hello. Hello, United Agents.

Or maybe it was like... I did have a phrase that I had to, yeah, I was doing the switchboard and I was doing lots of shredding and I think that they, and then they then found out that I did stand up and they were quite cross with me. Really? Why was that? Because it was like a conflict of interesting and it kind of war. I mean that's why I wanted to work there. Not because I wanted to get signed, but because I just wanted a job that was vaguely in the right world. I find that weird though that they're sort of saying, you know, you're being condemned for having ambition. Yeah, yeah, I know. And also it's like, yeah, I think I just didn't want to be an agent. and I kind of knew that. But also when you first start standing,

you don't know that you're going to be able to make a living out of it. No, you've got to earn a living and you may as well do it in the industry. Exactly, yeah. That was sort of my, that was kind of my thinking. And you started doing gigs, did you? Yeah, I started doing. And actually, it was such relief to do open mics because they were so long and arduous. And everyone was quite, the standard was a lot lower and a lot less like academic

than at Cambridge. the kind of stuff that people had written had been very like complex and structured and referential and suddenly you were just getting like these sort of dads that were going through a divorce like talking about their balls and you know that was for three hours and then I got a chance like go on stage and do my five minutes and I think I found it such a relief actually to be around because open mics are like this hello darling so I've just seen a little doggy of us what's the name? Lottie. So cute. What breed is Lottie? I think she's like a mixture of a lot of stuff with me.

She's a bit? Oh German Spits. I love a Spitz. Do you like this dog Bella? Yeah that's lovely. Hi Lottie. You're so nut. Lottie loves attention. I can tell. Is Lottie a real attention junkie? You're so cuddly. Oh lovely to meet you. Bye Lottie. POTty seems alright given the temperatures. Look, no judgement on Lottie. No, she seems to me. But I would not be bringing way out in this one, no.

But she seems okay, they're walking in the shade. And every dog is different, Bella. Every dog is different. I really hope you love part one of this week's Walking the Dog. If you want to hear the second part of our chat, it'll be out on Thursday, so whatever you do, don't miss it. And remember to subscribe so you can join us on our walks every week.