Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Dan Tiernan (Part Two)

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

In part two of Emily's walk with the brilliant Dan Tiernan, the conversation takes a more personal turn as Dan opens up about his sister's leukaemia diagnosis, the impact it had on his family, and how her resilience has shaped his outlook on life.They also chat about his latest stand-up show, Quartz and All, why it's his most personal hour yet, and how he's learned to turn life's more difficult moments into comedy without ever losing sight of the people behind the stories.If you haven't already, do go back and listen to part one. And if you'd like to see Dan live, Quartz and All is at the Edinburgh Festival throughout August before touring the UK. Tickets and dates are available at https://www.dantiernan.co.uk.Follow Emily:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilyrebeccadeanX: https://twitter.com/divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Will NicholsMusic: Rich JarmanArtwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to part two of Walking the Dog with the wonderful comedian Dan Tiernan. Do try and catch Dan at the Edinburgh Festival in his show Quartz and all, and after that he'll be touring all over the country. You can get your tickets at dan tiannon.co.uk. And do give us a like and a follow so you can catch us every week. Here's Dan. So things are start... In my whole life, like when I talk about it,

it all makes sense why I'm good at comedy. All of it. It all feels like it was part of my journey. When I was less than a year in, I did a show and I, it was a fundraiser show called Comedy Marathon where they did comedy for 12 hours. The whole audience were all of the comedians in the Northwest. A lot of them I'd never met.

And I went on stage and I choked and I couldn't speak. And then I started to have a panic attack on stage. And then I walked off the stage. And then that night I went to do King, out of nowhere, just walked to the comedy store and sign up for King Gong. And then I won King Kong, which is the comedy show everstocks. And then the week after that, I went to London and I won the London King Kong. And then the same weekend I did the heat of So You Think You Funny and I got through to the semifinal. And I told my mum and dad and they were like, oh fuck, like this really feels like.

the first time they got it and it really felt like I'm about to blow up and then I got knocked out of the semi-final by Maisie Adam who then went on to having an instant explosive career. The reason I'm saying all of this is I'm really really glad that that wasn't my moment that year because I think I had to fail for years to be, I had to live. I wasn't really and I think you know if that had happened I never would have sold gas and electric. And you wouldn't have been the dinner lady, which is my favourite part of your life. Yes. I think we should take a brief stroll just because I'm getting a sore bum from the wooden bench.

It's because you're so used to walking. Oh, do you know I am? Yeah. Can you plug this into me, well, at the back? And then I might take a quick picture of us, Dan, if you don't mind. Yeah, please. What are you looking at, Dan? Just that someone put a bracelet on the side that they find.

Let's have a look. You don't see that sort of thing very often anymore. It looks a bit Danny Dyer, this bracelet. Yeah. It's a silver, do you call it an identity bracelet? What does it say on the back? It says artizona. It's what I associate with a hot plumber might wear this?

Yes, yes. It's a Danny Dyer silver bracelet. I kind of want it, but you can't. The thing is, is you don't see, I remember as a kid seeing people put things on the side that they find to make it easier for someone to find. I don't think you see it as much anymore. I think you're right.

And I think that's because people are more selfish. I think. People are more selfish. More selfish than they used to be. Let's take a picture by the tree, Dan. Do you not think people are more selfish than they used to be? Yes, I do think you might be. I certainly think, like honesty bars in hotels,

you come across this concept. And I sort of wonder if you could even do that anymore. Because you couldn't do all. Because also I would be, and I will say this on the record, I would absolutely steal from a hotel. Unless it was a, unless I wouldn't steal from a bed and breakfast, but I would steal from a hotel. A big chain, like a Premier Inn. And I would take deep pleasure in it. I think you're right. And I think people do weigh up.

Oh, if this is Tesco's and they forgot to ring this up or the wrong price was on it, it's odd them. But if it's a local shop, I wouldn't want them out of pocket. I would never, I would never steal from a local shop ever. We just took some pictures there. I just realised something, Dan. I haven't really, basically because we're both a bit ADHD and keep going off topic, which is why I love you. Yeah.

And this is me medicated. Well, we haven't really got onto the subject of your childhood pets. We briefly touched right. I know your sister had horses, but what was the dog situation growing up? Okay, yeah. So I think one was pretty shaken up by Spike. And then I think we had a... My spite was the cat, yes.

And I can't remember if our series of fishes and hamsters was pre-dog or after dog. Let's head to the shade, guys. Yep. A real life-changing moment was when I was 11 years old and I, me and my sister, I think my mum made a slight joke about how... did want a dog. Mm-hmm. Or we just realized that we could push on an open door.

Yeah. And it was maybe one of the first bonding experiences I'd ever had with my sister, where we thought we decided to, we thought we could do this if we're smart. You formed an unholy alliance? Yes. Yeah. We thought together, we've been coming at this separately. Yeah.

And together we can do this. can do this and we basically did an almost a dragon's den like pitch at them about all of the pros of us having a dog whilst understanding the cons and then we looked at a couple of dogs and it was very much presented to me and phoebe is like oh we're just looking we're not saying you're getting a dog but we knew when we'd met the first one Yeah. We're going to be able to do this. And then as I left school one day, I think my sister must have been at an after-school club. As I went to get on the bus, my high school teacher, Mrs. Ormiston, was like, you're not getting the bus today. And I was like, why not? She went, woof, woof, woof.

and I was like, what? And she was all excited, and she was like, woof, woof, woof, woof. And my mum was like, and then my mum was there, and she was like, I think we found one. And then she drove me to Chester. And we met a litter of,

no, not a litter. We went to a farmhouse and basically this woman had been just given the run of her litter. who was this tiny working cocker spaniel and yeah it was literally like I don't know it was like it felt spiritual

it was like this is this is the guy little cocker and he just like charged over to us just delighted to see us and he actually went into my mum's bag and pulled out the envelope of cash that she'd bought to give him and I swear to everything that that happened and it doesn't sound real but it did.

So what happened? He pulled the envelope of cash out. He literally wanted to be with us so much and then we got... He knew you were wealthy? Yeah, exactly. All these poor families coming in being rejected. Yeah. And then we were going to call him Maxwell initially and then that night we were like,

it's not right, it's not right. Maxwell's too yuppie. And then he was Mitchell for... half an hour and then when i went to bed my mum ran in my room and was like i think i've got it uh murphy and we're all like that is absolutely perfect so what happened did murphy come home oh this was when murphy was home murphy came home all right yeah i was waiting for some horrible reveal where your mom changed her mind no no no no so how long did you have murphy was murphy your childhood dog then did you love murphy i all adored murphy he's an absolute character

And he was a cocker spaniel? Yeah, but a working one, which I always say because they're very different dogs, working in show cocker's. Yeah. Show cocker's are very... Is it here, probably? Working cocker's, they're mental. Yeah. They're like, they're much smarter than show cocker's.

Yeah. They've got different fur. Show cocker's are very curly. Ah. They're much flatter. They're like, working cocker's are full of energy. Yeah. he was mad and he was really clever.

But he's sad when he did he do, I'm assuming he did. Yeah, he did die and I was, yeah, pretty heartbroken. Yeah, pretty heartbroken. It was also things like it was during the second lockdown and I had a cough so I didn't go with my mum to get him put down. And my mum said she held them in her arms and the vet started crying. And she said, the vet said sometimes you can just tell when they're so loved, you know. Now I'm actually crying.

Why do you do this to me? I cannot bear any emotional thing about the loss of pets. It's just, you know. Yeah, we loved him so much. He was, he lost his, I think he lost his vision and he got really bad at all for writers. So for his last few years he wasn't the dog he once was. He was a little grumpy bastard. Yeah.

To be fair, that's right my dad when he got outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? But do you think, that makes me think that you might get a dog again? Because I think people who've had successful childhood relationships with dogs are open to that. They sort of get it. If I had a child, which had a whole of a conversation, there's no way I bring them without a dog. Yeah.

No way. I feel like people who grew up with dogs are different. Do you? Why? They're a bit like grubbier people with dogs. They're a bit like more... People get on with me more if they've had dogs. People are more comfortable with me in their house if they grew up with a dog.

Because they know that I might like shred paper. They're okay with me shredding paper up in their house or knocking over a drink or like walking mud into their car. I know what you mean. And I like, you know, it's the difference. It's the difference why I love. I love posh people. And what I mean is super posh people.

Because they're very happy with chaos. And when you go to sort of very middle class people's houses, like shoes off, please. Oh, we don't allow dogs on the bed. And what I love about posh people is filthy cars, filthy years old clothes, never buy new clothes, Labrador hair everywhere, mud. These are my people.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a sort of weird, I was worried about, I mean, Bella's not super posh. This is Bella, your flatmate, a whole, yeah. A comedian, I was worried about living with her because I thought she, I'm very, I'm chaos to live with. Yeah. But she just completely got me from, from Dayton Dart. And she didn't grow up with a dog, actually.

No, but we can give them. I think her life has just been chaos, so she's just sort of used to it. Yeah. And she's a natural mother, I think. Yeah, I can see that. My whole life I have these women, female friends that sort of mother me. Isn't that nice, though? And we become quite codependent.

They look after me and help me tidy my room and I tell them they're not fat. And that's basically... Do you know what, that's a trade off? Yeah. Can we talk a bit about your current sort of comedy... I'm going to call it situation. Yeah. Because you...

Situation does sound bad. It does, doesn't it? The Situation Room? Yeah. No, we should say things are looking fantastic for you on that front. I saw your last special... I say it's your last special. It's the one that went up on YouTube last year.

It's called Full of Beans, isn't it? Yeah, it's the last one of a release, but I've written two hours since then it's so fantastic. Thank you. It's just... You know, from the minute you start, I love that you're out the gate. And I got you instantly, and I thought, oh my God, it's that day. that you feel with brilliant comics. I had George Four Acres on recently. And it's what I love about George is that I always think, where the fuck is he going with this? I sort of get that with you as well. Yeah. And I'm really excited. This is your new show that's going to Edinburgh, isn't it? It's called Quartz and All. Quartz and All, yeah. Can you tell me a bit about it? I can, yeah. So, I mean, the initial idea is in July I started to purchasing healing crystals. And so that was, I wasn't going to do a show.

I was going to have, I didn't, last show was my seventh Edinburgh in the row and my third full hour. And I decided mainly for the sanity of the people around me that I wasn't going to do one. My last show was about me having a psychosis. The year before I had a psychosis for a lot of reasons, but a big one was because of stress of the fringe. I had a psychosis a month before. the fringe. So then everyone was like maybe you should take that year off and I was like, but I know I need to write a show about it's like they were like fair enough. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. But then I started using crystals to help me get through that show in

Edinburgh. Yeah. I was like well now I have to write a show about this one. So yeah, initially it was a show about me trying to explain how the mindset I was in when I got into crystals and what my philosophy is on a minute and I think now it's sort of becoming more of a show about I guess how I've never been in a relationship and how and the connection that sort of spirituality and how spirituality makes me feel like I won't be alone for the rest of my life kind of And that's a little bit of a spoiler because that's sort of what the arc of the show is. Right. But I think, yeah, that's sort of what the show is about, I think.

But it sounds very, my shows always sound really serious when I describe it and they obviously are not taught. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of unintentionally when I write hours, like some people have lives where nothing happens to them and I'm just, And one of those people where stuff is just always happening to me. The universe is always just throwing stuff at me and I write jokes about those things. But that's what I think, it's interesting because I work with Frank Skinner and he says often people will say, you know, particularly when we were doing a radio show together on obviously radio, people would often say, how do all these things happen to you?

And I think my theory, it's not that more things happen to Frank. It's that he alchemises that into comedy. So that's what comedians do. not necessarily that more things happen, it's that you view the world through a slightly different prison. So if you have an encounter, I don't know, someone else might see an obnoxious family, might say, oh, that's annoying, that kid screaming, that can become an entire 20 minutes of material to you. Yes. Do you know what I mean? That you're viewing things through a slight prism of absurdity, I suppose. Yes. Like my friend who's not a comic told me that his girlfriend recently met a

dentist on a night out. Yeah. Dentist did her, did a dental checkup on her and then wrote a poem to her about his, her teeth. But he said it like it was nothing. Yeah, just like I went to get a coffee or something. Yeah, and if that had happened

to me... It's an hour? I would, well, I'd have to take several days out my personal life to think and write about it and I wouldn't have stopped talking about it and thinking about it and I probably have had dreams about it and stuff. Yeah. Because you're... Yeah. And that's at the monkey barrel.

Monkey barrel at 1025 every day of the fringe and then I'm going on tour in autumn. I can never remember if autumn is the one after summer. I think it's autumn, yeah. Orm's the one after summer. That's correct. Yeah, okay. It's not like a medieval person. Well, I've got into spirituality in a big way, but I don't, a lot of spirituality is about the moon and the sun and

I don't know how I have a brain for knowing these things. No, I don't know. I can't remember when any of the star signs are. I can't. What star sign are you? Gemini. Oh, so you're June? Yeah.

Yeah. See, I know them all. I've just turned 30, yeah. Oh, congratulations. Crazy, yeah. I love that for you. When people, when I tell people, my dad is the worst for this, but I cannot speak to my dad about aging because he just goes, he will not acknowledge because I'm younger than him that I am still aging, you know.

Like, you cannot complain about ageing because people are like, you're so young. That's ridiculous. You're mad. But it's still, you know. I found turning 30 the hardest birthday of my life. And I think you forget that when you get older. That actually it gets kind of easier in your 40s. You know, even when I hit 50, it's like, it doesn't feel that big a deal. But something about 30 felt huge to me.

And I remember a man I was at work, but as a joke, there'd been a book sent into the office called Facing 30. We worked in a magazine office and he thought it was funny to put this on my desk. I mean, it's ridiculous. I was 29. I ran into the toilet and cried for an hour because I felt so vulnerable about it. What did you put on your desk? It's just a book called Facing 30. And he thought it was funny.

And it was because to him who is in his 40s, it was so absurd that it would be stressed out about turning 30. as well as funny. Yeah, but I cried for two hours. I remember my friend who's a bit older than me, Molly McGinnis, one of my best friends, amazing comedian. When she turned 30 in the fringe, we're in the pear tree, her garden, and she was feeling incredibly extantial

about the fact she just turned 30. The comedian I don't like, who I will not name, he came up and he said, you just turn 30, fucking grim that. And now when I say that doesn't sound like that bad, but for me and for her, that felt like the most tone deaf thing. I don't know, I think it is vaguely misogynistic as well. I can't put my finger on why. And he'd also come to find her to wish her a happy birthday.

So now at the time I was like, oh, has he just got that wrong? But now I know more about him. I'm like, no, he was sort of negging her. It's misogyny. He turned up to like roast her for being old, basically. Yeah. with the hope that maybe should sleep with him, I guess. No, that's what they do.

I've had that, because then they think, oh, my options must be so off. I have so few options now. I'll have to go with this absolute revolting creep. Do you know what I mean? That's why they do it. We know your game. But unfortunately, we've got men like Dan to protect us.

Absolutely. You have. You're our ally. And I'm also, this is a dodgy thing to say. I'm also in our line of straight men. And what I mean by that is I have not. lots of straight best friends who are men and some of them are some of the greatest humans I know so I feel like I understand straight men in a deep way because I very much present like one as well

and I'm not saying that a lot of them aren't the worst people creatures to ever walk the cosmos but some of them are all right and one of my things people often think you are straight don't they Most people. Most people do. Does that make dating hard? Really hard. Yes. The game and thing you'll straight.

That's kind of a lot of my show's about. Yes. Yeah. And then until you tell them and then they act like they know because no one likes to admit they were wrong. That's annoying. Yeah. And it also makes,

it doesn't make making female friends hard, but on nights out I connect females in a big way and then I have to very quickly get in that. I'm gay because I don't want them to think I'm trying to shag them. And then they act, like, they act one, like they have to pretend that they don't care. Like, it's not relevant, even though it is. And they also act a bit like, oh, what are you telling me because you think I'm trying to shag you?

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, dating it makes very hard. Are you dating at the moment? No, but this is what my show's about, how much I'm not dating and why that is. And why, like, for a while I'm getting much better at it, I couldn't even speak to my best friends about my date. I felt this deep sort of shame about it. For years I couldn't say, if I fancied someone, I couldn't even say it out loud because I felt weird.

Too vulnerable? Yeah. It's pride, isn't it? Yeah, and I felt like no one, I feel like there was something off of people's reaction and I go a few different things about thinking why that was. For a while I thought it's because people thought I was so ugly that me even mentioned. me even mentioning that I fancy someone to be like, like, ooh, look at you, you think you can get with them or anyone is ridiculous.

And there's also a thing that like, because I tend to fancy guys who act more straight. It's like a weird thing of internalised homophobia. And then I think when I speak to gay men, they often, I don't have a lot of gay friends, not have choice, but more just, but friends that I do have, I think they often feel a bit like, yeah, like, I mean, they're like, do you think you might have internalised homophobia? And I'm like, you think? Like, they'll have some, of course I fuck. Like, of course they do.

Like, all my mates want to fancy women and I, you know, I nearly said something incredibly explicit there. But you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I want to do. Yeah. The sex I want to have feels incredibly disgusting and shameful and stuff. And so, of course, I... Because of the physical nature of it?

Yeah. I understand. I understand. Yeah. And I suppose, it's interesting as well, isn't it? Were you, when you're... Did you come out to your family? Or do you think it was...

Some people say it was just always known? No, it wasn't at all. Right. Well, your parents so okay about it? Yeah, they were. But I didn't tell them for years. I think they're incredibly hurt. I didn't tell them. I told my mates when I was 18. I told one friend that I was bye and then I just decided I'm going to have to tell everyone now.

And then I didn't tell my parents until I started doing stand-up comedy about it because I wrote a joke about it and then I thought I'm going to have to tell them now because the joke works. And I only didn't tell them because I hadn't. I wasn't dating anymore and I hadn't had sex with a guy. I didn't think I kissed the guy. It is hard. So I was like, why would I tell? What am I telling them this is the porn I watch? That's what I felt like.

Yeah, and I totally get you on that because I remember a friend of mine who's daughter's gay and she said, someone was like, oh, did she come out and all this? And she said, well, no, I don't think my daughter, why should she be put in the position where she has to say, this is what I like sexually? She said, I feel it's preposterous that gay people are forced into that situation. She said, I was never put in a position of saying, oh, by the way, I'm attracted to men, and when I have sex, I like doing this. Yes.

She said, but that man has heard me saying that. How embarrassing. There were two men, they're walking past, and they just heard me say, to you, when I have sex, I like doing this. Yes. And they think you're my toy boy. Yes, they're so embarrassing. And at first they look incredibly shes. straight and sort of Joe Rogan listeners.

However, they have stopped to take pictures of ducks, so maybe let's not completely judge them. They might be more sex positive than we think. And one of them has sort of 90s boy band hair. Yes. Which I'm here for. Anyway, but I get... You know some people just have such good hearing?

I have bad hearing, so I just talk loudly about people who are quite far away. I have phenomenal hearing. Do you? And I cannot, and this is an ADHD thing, I cannot focus... I find it very hard. I'm then focused on on the conversation if they were talking loudly, the people sitting on the grass over there, I'd be so wrapped up in their conversation

and so desperate not to miss it, I'd be struggling to juggle, and I'd probably say to you, can we just pretend to talk quietly while I'd finish listening? So because I have bad hearing, my version of that is I would just hear a sort of noise, like a m-me-o-oh-ha-ha-ha, which would give me a bit of a headache.

I understand. So I would have a problem for the same reason, but different. What did your parents eventually say then? Are they okay with it eventually? My mum, I told my mum, my grandma's house, when my mum said of the family go to bed, if it's just me and her there, we have a habit that we will drink three bottles of wine in my grandma's kitchen. Okay.

I'm loving this now. And I think, how did we get into it? I was trying to speak to her about male relationships. And I think because I was pissed for some reason, I thought I could get away with just... It was relevant the fact I was gay to the conversation. So I went...

I was trying to make a point about someone and about men in relationships. And I sort of went... This will sound like a big deal, but it's not. I'm gay. And the thing with that is... And then my mum then had to pretend like it wasn't a big deal.

Like, oh, okay. And then five minutes later, she was sobbing, being like, I should have known. Right. Oh, God. They asked me when I was a kid if I was gay, and she said, you just always said he wasn't. So I thought, oh, well, he's not.

Because he said he wasn't. And then I think it all kind of made sense to her. She was like, oh, for God's sake, yeah. And then I didn't tell my dad for a while, because I just didn't want to. And my mum was like, shall I tell him for you? They weren't together at the time. So I'd have been 21 or 22.

I told my mates when I was 18, so four years after. My sister just knew. One of my friends I'd told, I think, told her sister that was best friends with my sister. And so she knew. But my sister said she just knew anyway, sort of telepathically. That makes sense to me. You're just with your siblings. And you've always been very close with your sister, I'm assuming, have you?

She's four years younger. She's four years younger. No, we hated it. did you when you were growing up hated each other just did not and could not get on could not think the only time as children we got on were when we were trying to get a dog and on Christmas Eve we would get on for some reason literally Christmas Day almost this but then on Christmas Day we wouldn't yeah right Christmas Eve we would because she'd become quite sweet and excited and yeah yeah

and it was sort of nice. And then she got diagnosed with leukemia, and now we're really close. And what age was she when she got diagnosed? 20. Wow. Yeah, just after lockdown. So you were sort of 24 or something?

Or how were you? So I would have been 24 if she was 20. Yeah. I think she was 21. So she's 21. So she's 26 now, yeah. She would have been 21. Yeah, when she got diagnosed.

And what was so weird about this for you was that it feels like I know what you were going at that time professionally. What was weird? I was like, what about my young sister getting diagnosed? Yeah, imagine if that was just a question. What was strange? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, what I was going to say was strange timing-wise, and there is no good timing, obviously, for something like that. But it was just interesting that this was sort of.

of your year in terms of professionally, everything was going amazingly well. We're really good at this, aren't you? How long do you research for? That is really smart. No one notices that. My career blow up feels, I went, it was crazy how in sync it was. My sister got diagnosed with leukemia and then the sentence I'm about to say, It is crazy. My sister got diagnosed with leukemia. My mum's best friend got diagnosed with cancer.

My uncle died of a pulmonary aneurysm. My other uncle had a stroke and my grandma got diagnosed with cancer in the space of a couple of weeks. The day or two after my uncle died, no, it was a couple of months actually. But shit hit the fan and my career just. I got really good at stand-up in that period, basically. And I think then it's not a coincidence. When I went on stage, it was like, I just didn't, I'd realised my whole life I'd cared too much about stand-up,

it meant too much to me. And when I found out Phoebe had leukemia, it felt like my career became this tiny dot in my life. and Phoebe's health became this huge thing. And because there was this tight, because my career was a tiny, stand-up was a tiny dot, it didn't have any weight on it.

So I just wandered on stage like I didn't give a fuck because I didn't give a fuck. I was pleased to be there and I was pleased to have 20 minutes of adrenaline where I wasn't having to think about Phoebe. Yeah. I would have my phone in front of me, staring at my phone,

to see if my mum was texting with an update. And then I would walk on stage, completely forget about it, come off stage and immediately get my phone out and stare at my phone all day. So when I was on stage, I didn't care. And I was, for the first time in my life, ripping gigs. And everyone was ripping gigs whilst having this mad personal thing

go on whilst no one knew. I was in the middle, and I was just unfollowable in that period. It's probably better at club stand-up comedy then. In fact, I was definitely then than I am now. I'm much more worried about long form hours these days. I probably could rip, but I'd have to talk about different stuff. But I was like, I all of a sudden became like one of the biggest crushers out of nowhere it felt. And then I won loads of stand-up competitions.

You started winning a lot of awards, didn't you? And I wonder if, I do think I relate to that. a bit from when my sister got diagnosed with cancer and even when I lost her, I think I started to sum it up, Dan, as what's the worst that could happen? It already did. So it started to define my approach to every, I like changed my life. I left my job. I was in an office job. I changed everything because I was kind of like, it felt like insulting to her to live a timid life. Yeah. And I'm sure you relate to that when your sister got, you know, that's the most horrific thing. Yeah. I wasn't even like really talking about this stuff or deeping it because it was all

about Phoebe in that time as it should be. So like I wasn't like really telling them. They were just sort of like Dan's okay because things are going well. So that's that. I think at times Phoebe understandably was jealous and she felt it wasn't fair. But then I was like, I'm not enjoying it Phoebe like you know like it's yeah like and she what I love the way you've talked about it in your act and on social media is that she's got a fabulously dark sense of humour about it all as well you know she's hilarious yeah she's so funny she's so funny and dry what did she said she said some really funny things to you when she was Loads of things.

She said, well, yeah, when I, there was a crazy time when they were worried that the chemo wasn't working. Leukemia is like, you don't have stages of it. Right. You just sort of have it. And it's sort of in your bone marrow. And you, when you go into remission, people think, brilliant. But in a lot of cases, it will immediately come back.

And the reason there's been such a success rate with, I think we campaign for blood cancer UK, that's our charity and the Anthony Nolan are our two stem cell register. There are two ones because there's so many good ones you have to choose. But the stat that Phoebe reads out is that when the charity was first for, like, leukemia is the highest, biggest cancer in, I think, children and young adults. And when the charity first started, nine out of ten, children would die from blood cancer. Now nine out of ten will survive. I'm pretty sure that's right.

Which is just an insane. And the reason is is because they worked out that young people and children can handle an insane amount of chemotherapy. And that's what getting rid of leukemia takes. You basically just have to... Blast it, yeah. Luke it for years.

Right. So what was the point of me saying? Was because I was asking about how I love the fact that your sister had this quite dark sex tuna. Yes. At one point they were worried that her body wasn't eight. Her bloods weren't recovering from the amount of chemo she was having. Because if your platelets and your nutrophils and all of this stuff aren't recovering, then you can't have any more chemo. And if you can't have any more chemo, then it will just come back.

So they then said, shall we look at having a stem cell transplant? So they said to my mum and my sister, do you have a sibling? And they said, yes. And they said, is it a boy or girl? She said, I've got a brother. And they said, how old is he? And I would have been 26. Maybe 25, 20.

Yeah. And the doctor's eyes lit up because of 20. men's, for some reason, men's bone marrow, young men are the best for bone marrow. Oh, it's Stephen Bartlett. I know, I know, I know. There's a bone marrow gap. Yeah. I'll be taking that quote out of context.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the best. Like, no, but young men, like, their bone marrow is like the one, basically. So then they said, she said, that's good. And she said, is he willing and healthy? My mum and sister laughed and said he's willing. I don't know if he's what he's. I don't know if he's healthy.

It's a tricky question health-wise. And then they sent me to check and then I got a call. And basically I think it's been such a while now. And I'm actually grateful I don't know all this information because I used to be so across everything. I used to be able to tell you all the different blood types because it was so constant. constant. Of course. You know exactly what percentage will know exactly how many

platelets she had and how many new to fill. But I think this I think you can be like a 100% map. I think if you've got a sibling you can be a one I think there's a one out of I think there's a one out of four chance that you'd be a perfect match and a 50% chance that you be a half match. Okay. And a half matches are a bit, aren't the best. Right. And like, I think a 50% chance you're not a match at all or something like that. And basically I got a call and they said, you're a perfect match, which was massive.

So then I called for you and I was like, I'm a perfect match. I call mum and I said, sit down and we're a perfect match. And mum started sobbing and went in the bath and she was there. It's a perfect match. Which does just give your prognosis like such a, if your sibling. A boost, yeah. Such a sibling. such as if your sibling is a perfect match your chances of surviving leaky me

long term I'm like so much higher so a great day for the family and then she said I'm don't I don't want to have his fucking bone marrow basically she was like what if I catch it I really don't want his bone marrow it'll have backy in it and then she said knowing you I'll probably call you be like you need a match today and you'll be emceeing a meat raffle in Bolton just yeah you'll be like oh I've got or emceeer, meet Ravell and Bolton. Because at that time in my life, I was just literally gigging like seven times.

Yeah, yeah. Constantly. I'm so glad she's in, and she's okay now. So I, she said remission, we did a fundraiser the other day. Yeah. Literally the other day. And at the end, it's a stand-up comedy gig

and we do it, we've done two now. And at the end, she goes on and does a speech. And we do it in the Fogun Bucket Comedy Club, which is where I started comedy. Yeah. And there's something about her going on that stage. I find insanely emotional and pride like I've never felt it before. And also look from the gods that I'm in a position to watch her in a charity t-shirt talk about.

That's the sort of thing you dream of, you know? Like, and she said, when I wrote my hour, and part of my debut hour which is what was called going on the when we released it was a special it's full of bees the one you're referring to I said to her can I make jokes about cancer my family have always been completely fine and making jokes about anything I said to her cat are you okay if I talk about it and she said yeah but you can't go on and say she's all okay now because it might come back yeah and I was like but that makes it cool

makes it harder to joke about it. Because I need to give the, look for you, I'm sorry, I need to give the audience reassurance. Yeah, otherwise they're like, you're joking about your dying sister. So then you end up with these sorts of phrases which are like, as far as the doctors can tell, there's no cancer in her bone marrow. She's not out the woods yet. It might come back, leukemia treats.

She say sort of these things. And then by doing that to make the joke work, you fucking act to then spread awareness. Yeah, but she's good. And then she also said, and then you also have to plug the Anthony Nolan register. Which is good. Which is a stem cell register. And basically young men, it's really, young men don't realize, like, how much their bone marrow can help.

Like, there'll be people out there who are desperate for it. And, yeah, like, she, yeah, so, so then, yeah, that was. I'm so glad that story ended happily for you. Oh, so when she did the speech, the reason I said that. I think she, you said I'm in remission, I'm cancer free. But she's very, like she doesn't want to tempt fate. She never rung the bell. No, I understand it.

Because she said ringing the bell, you're just fucking asking for it. And she almost, that's why we didn't do any campaigning for years, because she felt like she didn't want to tempt fate. But then she said it was kind of the deal she made with the gods, not that she's religious, was that like, I remember when she was first diagnosed, the doctor said to her, if you give me the next three years of your life, I'll give you a 70th birthday. And then the deal she made was that if she was able to get through it, then she would try and help make the world a less cancer full place, really.

And she is scarily good at public speaking in a way she didn't know. She's done two of those speeches at the frog and bucket now. and she does just have the same thing I have, which is just sort of just stage presence that we didn't really know she had. So I think I'd like her to do more of that. Well, I'm just so glad that you still have her. Yeah. And I understand it's that weird thing that we were saying that you just...

I don't know, it's a weird club, isn't it? It's a weird sibling thing. It's hard to explain to somebody who doesn't have a... sibling. It's hard to explain to somebody who's, you know, just accepted their whole life they've been lucky enough that their sibling has always been healthy. Yeah. It's, it feels like the weirdest thing to get that news. Yeah. That phone call, whatever. And you know it happens, but you just never think it will be you.

You never think it's you. I mean, it feels unreal when you hear those words, doesn't it? It's ridiculous. And I don't, you know... My phone rang at 9am and we knew that... We knew that she'd had like, she, I went to stay at hers because I had a gig in York because she was at uni and I got in the car and she said, she said, I'm certain, the first thing she said it was, I'm certain I've got leukemia and I laughed. And then as the days progressed,

she was just going through symptoms and it was like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, and the doctors just, and then her arm got bruised and was quite blue. But she's still like, you won't have leukemia. You never think it will. No, and then the next morning at night. Oh no, then weeks later, my My mum rang me at 9 a.m. on the dot. And my mum would never ring me in the morning because I'm a grumpy. You have a rule that my mum won't speak to me until I've had a cigarette and a coffee because I'm such a knob. I had her first thing.

And my phone rang at 9am on the dot and I thought off. You just know, don't you? Fuck. And she went, your sister does have leukemia. I can't explain what it's like. It's like, yeah, it's like a fever. But you're also amazed with how calm. you are. Yeah, it's true. I don't know if you found this, but people would say to me,

how are you being so calm? Like when my sister was at the Marsden and I was holding it together and all this kind of stuff and I think, I don't have a choice. You don't have a choice, do you? I don't have a choice. But you know, it'd just be so deeply unhelpful to start rocking around and wailing. Yeah, and it's not about you. You know, that's my housemate. I went in And I can't remember what the joke was. Yeah. I went and told him, and he just completely panicked, understandably. Yeah.

And then I made a joke, and he looked at me like, I can't remember what the joke was, it would have been ridiculously dark. And he looked at me like, how have you just said that? And I said, Joe, if I'm going to get through this, you're going to have to get used to me making some of the darkest jokes you never heard me. I think fair enough. Yeah. But yeah, I don't, it's a weird thing as well because although me and you have...

That in common? What we don't have in common is the feeling of losing a sibling, you know? And that's something that I hope we will never have a common. So you end up with this weird thing where you like have this thing in common with a lot of people, but with this deep... You've experienced my deepest, darkest fear. Your worst nightmare. nightmare and you almost I'm the Christmas future you don't want to you you're like

you when you start talking about how healthy they are you like I you feel like you're bragging or something well equally I feel when I'm talking to you and I have to tell you she died yeah I I don't want to give you that ending so I have to say did you notice I said she was a lot older yeah because I feel bad yeah yeah I'm like I'm not the Christmas future you want yeah but then in reality you know I've watched Phoebe's face it I know what it is and I know, you know, and Phoebe was on at a cancer award where young people would drop off and you just wouldn't ask questions. Yeah.

There's a really harrowing story where Phoebe started making TikToks and weirdly there's sort of a cancer TikTok algorithm of people who are obsessed with it. Really? She was very beautiful as well. It looks nothing like me. People can't believe we're related. They're like, what? and she found a girl with the exact same type of cancer who was making these incredible videos and mum said why don't you reach out to her?

Right. And when Phoebe went to message her, she realised, they were the exact same way she realised she died since in the time that Phoebe had been following it, you know. So it's like you know, you're not, and that people are scared to talk to you about it, but it's like you know, like you're not. What I would say, different endings to our perspective stories, But what you have in common is what you just said, we're not scared to talk about it. That's what bonds you.

Because everyone else skirts around it. Terrified. I really love you telling me that. Yeah, but I was just going to say that people have apologised me for jokes they've made weeks ago about cancer. Yeah. Like I just, or they've said a thing and they're like, I just then got home and laid awake and thought, oh, I'm like, I don't even remember what you're talking about because it doesn't. I'm thinking about this all the time anyway. It's in me.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that's the thing that you kind of have to have gone through to understand, I think. I think so. It changes a person, doesn't it? You know? Yeah. Isn't it pretty here?

This is a beautiful part. Isn't it nice? Can I ask you a question, Dan? Please. Have you enjoyed our walk today? I really, really have. Have you? And Bella was right that you do.

get everything out but what is very weird is you didn't try I just started off loading information if me and you were friends and we were recording not for a podcast I would leave feeling incredibly anxious about how much I spoke about myself really about you I I nearly started to take control earlier and get you going but you did didn't you went you defend you defend I was Ghana yeah yeah you were gone I was Garniaen in my defence. You were not getting past me. If this doesn't go out soon this episode, then people are not going to know why.

People might just think I'm being racist. Can we just clarify that England played Garner the other night? Yeah, and they put about 15 players in front of the goal. Exactly. But I've loved meeting you and I already, I'm going to be really honest, when I loved your comedy anyway, saying it, in the past tense, like you're no longer with us. I really enjoy your work as a comic anyway, but I felt peculiarly bonded with you

when I read about your sister. Not in a sort of sentimental way, but I know it sounds weird. Let's go on the other side where it's shady. But I think I felt, oh, he'll get it. Yeah. Do you know, does that make sense? I sort of feel people get it

when they've been through that. Yeah. And I feel I had a good vibe of that. you and I'm so glad that I was proved right. It makes you quite, yeah, philosophy. I feel like most people, even the most shallow people, something like that can make incredibly deep. Even like me. Are you a good friend? Like good at being friends. Would people say, call, refer to you as a good friend? People would say, when I am in front of them physically. physically I am the best friend in the world and when I am more than 10 metres away I'm the

worst friend in the world because I'm really bad at object constancy exactly really better at replying to messages texts late all the time yeah just missing things because I plan wrong and stuff like that yeah does it help for them to know about the ADHD because well now my I'm lucky enough to have friends most of my friends I've been friends with for 10 years or so and a sort of litmus test is for them not to take it personally

I think anyone who takes that kind of thing personally I just it won't work and that's my fault but yeah anyone who thinks which is totally natural to be fair if someone doesn't reply to you

because when I when someone doesn't reply to me I go oh you must hate it meet me and then I go oh that's how everyone else feels about me but yeah I think I am I think you have to sometimes also I think there's something to be said for you know accepting people for who they are or letting them go yeah I think when people are kind of railing against you not being a type a person who's 10 minutes early and replies to every WhatsApp it's like I've I've really at peace now, I've encountered people like that and I've just thought, with love,

I'm letting you go. It will never work. I'm not what you need. I have to give them the I will always love you, Whitney Houston speech. It's just never going to work. With me, they drop off because eventually they just stopped texting. Yeah, which is great, because that's just like a very nice, you know, uncoupling of the ways. Yeah. I have loved our walk. And I need to, I need to end because if I don't we will be talking till six o'clock. How long did we record for? Probably about 17 hours. And I'm good with that.

I'm so sorry you didn't get to meet Ray. No. I hope to meet him. If we're friends now, then I will meet him. Well, you'll see him on Grindr. Yeah. You will? Yeah, I look out for him.

Is he out? Oh, is he to scrimed. He was outed by Josh Jones. It's a sore point, but what can you do? Yeah. Can I have a hug even though it's 38 degrees? Absolutely. Oh Dan, thank you.

And listen, everyone go and see Dan in his show at the Edinburgh Festival, Horts and all. Yeah. And if people want to get tickets, can they go, is the best to go to your... Dantan.co.com. Dantan.com. Um, yeah, for tour as well. And I'm very active on Instagram, but that's only because I pay for my friend to do it for me. Do you?

I've started to change my life, yeah. I need to get your friend's number. to get your friend's number. It's changed my life. Okay. Yeah. Well, it's been a joy. It has.

And normally at this point, I get Ray to say goodbye. And I do a faux Ray voice, and I go, bye-bye. But now if I do that... What's your faux-ray voice? He's actually a bit sort of entitlement. He's gay. He's gay, isn't he? But I can't do it because I'm not gay.

So you're going to have to do Ray's voice. How would he say goodbye? Bye, Dan. Bye, honey. I can't even do. gay voice. That's how not gay I am. I can't even do the voice. Just so you know, yes you can. Yeah. No, no, I'm saying I don't, I can't physically do it like. No, buy honey is great. Yeah. See you later, Queens. Yeah. I really hope you enjoyed that episode of Walking the Dog.

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