Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Greg Davies

Episode Date: December 21, 2018

Emily goes out for a walk with Greg Davies and introduces him to the fabulous Bruno - a Rottweiler/ German Shepherd cross from The Dog’s Trust. They chat about inheriting the funny gene from his dad, his childhood pet Rex, and the epiphany in a flotation tank which changed his life.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If there's one dog I know that can be responsible in a flower garden, is it Bruno? Is this dude? Come on Bruno. What's nice is that every single flower in it's dead? It's a wonderful reminder of how short life is. This week on Walking the Dog, I went out with comic, actor, an all-round adorable tall guy, Greg Davis.

Greg doesn't have a dog of his own, which can I say as a travest. is he is a total dog whisperer. So we borrowed the lovely Bruno, who's a German shepherd, Rock Viola Cross from the Dogs Trust. We took a stroll in Greg's local park in South London and chatted about his childhood dog Rex,

who doesn't get the best review, by the way, how he really wanted to make his dad laugh, and a comedy epiphany in a flotation tank. You'll have to listen if you want to find out more about that one. You can catch Greg in Cuckoo on iPlay and on BBC 1 from Jan the 4th, And for more info on him, please go to greggdavis.co.com. Also, we're really fortunate on this podcast to get to work with the Dogs Trust,

who do some amazing work. So to find out more about them, please go to Dogstrust.org.com. And finally, rate, review and subscribe, please, on iTunes. Here's Greg. Let's have a sniff, mate. He's been so patient. I'm going to let him do whatever he wants. I think Bruno is physically exactly the same size as you. you if he could walk on his hind legs.

Bruno. Come on, Bruno. So you think Bruno's the same size as me, Greg? I'm going to get him up on his hind legs at some point. I think I'm really good at judging heights because height is such a feature of my life. I was going to say. Because people are constantly asking me about my height. Oh, me too.

I'm very good at judging heights and I think you're exactly the same height as Bruno. What are you, 5'2? I think, yeah, I say 5-2. Oh, that's so kind of you, Greg. I really appreciate it by three. I just realised there's no crossing here, by the way. Sit down. Bruno, sit.

Bruno! Hey! Oh, Greg, you're really taking to that. I'm so glad that Bruno has been rehomed already. Why? Well, I'd be having a crisis now, already in love with him. Oh. You look really good together, Greg.

Thanks, Emily. I haven't said that Bruno's a dog, by the way. You might think he's on gay, Greg. You might think it was Bruno Mars, the pop singer. I don't think he'd silently walk by my side during a podcast, though, occasionally stopping to sniff other dogs with this. Come on, mate. Come on, Bruno.

There's your sorts of smells in here. Greg, now we're away from the noisy traffic. Yes. I think it's time I introduce the podcast. Do you do like a musical introduction to it? Yeah, we do sometimes. No, but do you ever sing? No.

Would you like to change that? That'd be nice for you to do... Come on then, what do you think I should sing? Just improvise a song. So this is Walking the Dog, and I'm Emily Dean, and I'm very excited because I'm with Greg Davis. And we're in, is it, this park is local to you, is it? Yeah, it's Kennington Park.

And do you know, I've never even been here? No, it's really lovely here. It's beautiful. I've never, I lived in West London for most of my time here, but I ended up here by accident. I really love it. Strangely, feels like home. Do you want to talk us through your companion?

Bruno. Well, I haven't got a dog of my own because it would be irresponsible, given my lifestyle. But I so want one. Yeah. But the dog's trust of very kindly and lentress Bruno, who is, I mean, giant, beautiful boy. He's part Alsatian, part Rotwiler. And they are called Shepveilers, I believe. Are they?

Yeah. Why Shep? German Shepherds. Oh, yeah. It's going to be a long hour. I think they're also called rotten shepherds. Oh, Shep Vylers is way nicer. Rotten Shepvaler.

Call them rotten shepherds. Really bad. Some stinking sheep herder coming down from the mountains. Hasn't washed his nether regions for 12 years looking for a wife. So I don't know Bruno's story The Dogs Trust Peeps were telling us Sadly his owner passed away

But he's been rehomed And you've been in his company for ten minutes You can't be surprised he's been rehomed Right He's so lovely How does he strike you? He's so placid and lovely And all he wants to do is have a smell

Of stuff Because I always think When I think Rotviders I always think of What's it called from the 80s? Magnum Magnum Yeah. Did he have a rotweiler?

On the estate, the rich man's estate where he lived was Thomas. Thomas was... They had two rotvilers. Do you know, I've just remembered that. I always thought they were terrified, terrifying beasts just because of Magnum. Funny enough. I think Magnum did for Rotwilers what Jaws did for sharks. Oh, Jaws and sharks.

You see, that's because we're the same generation. I know. I think we're sort of disproportionately terrified of them. But I still am. Yes, am I? Even though all these years on, that film ruins my relationship with deep water. Amazing, right? I even got scared in pools for a while.

So did I? Did you? Yeah, genuinely, yeah. I would feel my legs and I'd think, oh my God, a shark's going to come again. It is conceivable that the shark, evil creature as it is, has learnt to walk on its hind fins and gone searching for a different kind of meat. Overcome chlorine There was an episode of Colombo

Do you remember that? And I remember there was a really kind of There was an episode that everyone at school talked about And then someone had trained Or maybe it was Dobermans or Rockbiler's To Kill And it was horrible And that scared me

But look I'm being all down on this breed And actually we should say Bruno We're saying that Bruno's the antithesis of of the demonic Rottweilers from stage and scream. You know Peter, what's his name who wrote yours? Benchley. I don't think I know his name, the guy who wrote it.

Benchley. He wrote Jaws, the novel. And then when he saw the effect that the film had, because loads of people just went out and murdered sharks and thought they were satanic creatures, he devoted the rest of his life to shark conservation because he felt so bad. Really?

Too late, Benzley. It's like, was it Robert Oppenheim? suddenly became all CND. Exactly. Well, thanks for that, mate. I wonder if the writers of Magnum P.I. are going to make an effort to re-educate us about Rottweilers. Come and have a look at Bruno. So Greg, did you have dogs when you were growing up?

We had one dog after pressuring my mum for so long. She's so anti having a dog. But the three of us, me, my sister and my dad, pressured her so much that she caved in the end. and we went and got this little... That little one, Greg. Went got a... Oh, hello.

Oh, he's too big for you. I think that owner thought... Yeah, there's going to be a fight here. And I think we knew who was going to win. Buno would fuck him up. That's what everyone says about you, though, Greg. Yeah, and you and I both know. I'm a coward.

Instinctively. I was in a pub when I was about 20. I was in a pub toilet. Yeah. And a bloke came up to. to me and went, think you're hard, do you, tall man? Think you are hard because you're big. And I went, not at all.

And he went, yeah, you do. And he started doing that thing that bullies do, started pushing me. And I went, mate, I don't think I'm hard. I don't want to fight you just because I'm tall. Please leave me alone. And he grabbed me. And as he grabbed me, suddenly he just went like this and fell away.

And my little mate had come in and hit him with a motorbike helmet. People like ours are useful for that, the little friends. The little guys. We run in with the motorbike helmets. Big boys like me and Bruno are a pacifist. What were you asking me? Oh yeah, just about when you were growing up, which was in Shropshire, wasn't it? Shropshire, yeah.

You and your sister, and did your dad want a dog as well? Yeah, he really wanted one too. My mum correctly assumed that when the novelty had worn off, she would be the one looking after the dog. Yeah. And she didn't want them. But we went to a farm that are friends of my mum and dad. And they had a litter of black.

labs and she was still saying I don't want to do this and we were all going well just look at them we'll just look at them just look at them that seems so cool in one standing they're saying i don't want to do this no we kept gently pulling her in and we went into this cow shed the dogs were all kept in a cow shed and there was this carnage of these black labs all jumping around to all over on each other and she looked at us and went do you see what i mean do you see the chaos that you're going to bring into our home and then from And behind this one was like little wall partitions in the cow shed. And from behind the wall, this terrified little puppy came out, shaking.

And he was the runt of the litter, who none of the others liked. And he came out sort of all shaking and terrified. And we all looked at mum and she went, oh, God, all right. We've never met someone, Greg. Do you want to make friends? I'm just holding him because he's scared of big dogs like you. He's scared? Oh, this is just...

Oh, he's so gentle, Bruno. Bruno doesn't scare anyone. Bruno should be UN ambassador. No, he's lovely. Come on, Bruno. So anyway, yeah. So, hello. He wasn't like a juggler, was it?

He was like someone running from a scene of a crime. It was very... It was an urgency to that. He was running in a way that would suggest there's definitely at least nine people behind him. And a helicopter. Probably used to watch Magnum. Oh yes, so Rex came home.

And the reason I wanted a dog as a kid was simply twofold. I wanted to be able to throw things for the dog to go and get and obviously go on walks and be great friends. And I wanted to sit watching telly or whatever and stroke the dog. And it quickly became apparent that Rex was never going to learn how to fetch anything and didn't like being stroked. What dog doesn't like being stroked? So if you struck him, he just walked away immediately.

And honestly, pain for pain. I mean, I'm affectionate looking back at him because he was part of my family. But honestly, he was a prick. He was a prick. And I love dogs. Greg, you can't go to hold the dog a prick. He was. I just think he was ungrateful.

And the reason he was ousted from the pack was because he was a prick. and we got totally suckered by that. Oh, poor lonely thing. We'll be the friends he's never had. And then we had him for about a month. And I thought, I mean, he doesn't deserve friends. Well, it was interesting because I can't remember what it was. It might have been an interview or something I read with you.

You used to play childhood games with him. Did you press him up? That's the only, that was payback for me. We used to amuse ourselves. Greg, look at this dog here. Look at this little dog. This is like me and you. Oh, no.

Oh. Oh no. Grumpy. Do you see it bear its teeth? Yeah. At Bruno, the nicest guy in the dog working world. But the games were the wrettes? Yeah, because he had to do something to entertain us for us pay back for the food and the walks.

We dressed him up, I've said this on stage, but we dressed him up in my dad's massive underpants once. And we were all howling with laughter. He was walking around in these giant white white wifference. and he stopped and I swear to you his expression changed he stopped in the garden and he looked back at us all like this and went

okay you almost heard him go okay do you want to dance let's dance and then he just filled them full of piss you saw this awful yellow

stain spread out across the whole pants and you could see in his eyes he was going to have to take these off me now so well done do you know I like Rex he was different

I used to take him on walks Oh, where should we go now, Greg? We'll have to keep going around. It's a small park. There's a flower garden up here. Oh, should we go there? I like flowers. It's where people with drink problems hang out as well,

so we might be able to get a can of cider. They're really nice, though. A really nice bunch of lads. But they're always meeting their flower garden to sort some cider out. It's so nice as well, because often for comics you have a lot of downtime in the day and you've got some friends to hang out with here, which is nice.

I'm really pleased for you. That's right. So, Rex, so good old Rex. I'm joking about what pricky was. I know you are. Oh, Greg, why do we keep seeing small? Oh, the little one's angry again. Craig, that is so small.

It's ridiculous. Look at you. Hey, do you want to fight? Say I love to Bruno. Who's that? Bruno scared. There's the Tuarba which, how small would you say that was, Greg?

I would say there's an even bigger difference between Bruno and that than you and I. Yeah, there really is. Absolutely tiny. Is it a girl? A boy. What's he called? Lindino.

Lidino. Yeah. Now that's a mate. Yeah, brilliant. It means very pretty. Oh, a pretty boy, Livigno. I love living. In what language is that?

It's a Portuguese. Oh, well he is very pretty. Yes, he's a troublemaker. I can tell. He is the size of three apples. Oh, wasn't that sweet, though, is there, is little to eyes? I don't like, I don't, I'm not drawn to pretty dogs like this white one here. No?

No. I like messy. I would say Bruno's a bit kind of, he's quite old school, isn't he? Yeah, he is. He's quite dog of the land. I could have my picture taken in a 1950s catalogue with Bruno, and his style wouldn't change. But then I think you're a bit like that, Greg. You think I'm like a 1950s man?

No, I think you're quite down to earth. That's why I can see you with a dog like that. Yeah. Well, I don't know what the alternative to being down-to-earth is, Emily, do you? Oh, I do. Do you? What is it? Being lost in showbiz?

Yeah. And do you know a lot of people who are? I don't befriend them, but I'm aware of those people and I encounter them. I think it's unlikely if you do this, if you do show business for a bit, it's unlikely that you believe it after a while, isn't it? That you think this is a real world? It's unlikely that you believe it. Because I do think you're unusually centred. I'm absolutely mad.

I didn't say you didn't have mental health issues. I just said you're very centred. Well, I'm aware of the illusion of the business, that's for sure. And I think is that, you know, we're going to talk about your teaching. Yes. You didn't end up going straight into comedy, as is quite well documented. Yeah, I just bottled it, really. all I wanted to do was comedy

but I just bottled it and my dad led me into teaching because that's what he did the only bad bit of advice he ever gave me actually was you should be a teacher get a good job under your belt and I think it's because you know

he wanted me to follow in his footsteps really your dad was really funny from what I've heard you said again I know I've said it a lot but the funniest person I ever met and I'm aware there's family by us there but he pound for pound he's made me laugh in his time on this planet he made me laugh more than anyone else did you have that sense when you were growing up of i really want to make my

dad laugh oh god it was everything it's it i don't need a psychologist to tell me why i'm a comedian you can get a ruler and draw a line from my need my need for the validation of strangers goes directly to trying to make him laugh. I'm wanting that his approval. Yeah, but you see he was an exhibitionist as well. So if you're fathered by an exhibitionist, then you do have to work for his time because he's too busy being an exhibitionist

to give you... Not that he... I mean, he was wonderfully attentive, dad. And, you know, I became the almost central to his existence once he was retired. So it wasn't. I lacked... it, but everybody wanted a slice of him.

I used to call those sort of norm people from when I used to watch Cheers when I was younger and he'd walk into the bar and I'd go, no! But you know those norm people and they light up a room? Yeah. Which your dad sounds like that. I call it the look at me, Jean, which I think gets passed on. No doubt.

Perhaps you got it from your dad, but does that make you think? Oh, no doubt. And I did that BBC show, Who Do You Think You Are? And we just had, you know, even... one of the most wonderful things to I've always been firmly on the side of nurture versus nature I've never believed that you inherit characteristics

until that show when we were studying my I think we were trying to find out things about I think my great great grandfather and he was this dower preacher and we followed in his footsteps of his dourness and and he rejected his son

and there was all sorts of misery in his life and then we just found this one entry in a newspaper when he died that said what a great storyteller he was and I thought it really blew me away that because thinking this proves my argument I'm descended from this

flat face and I saw a picture of him and he's like a cartoon clergyman and all dourer and serious surrounded by you. very serious women in black. But he turned out he was a good laugh. He could spin a yarn.

So I like that. Yeah, what I'd like about that, who do you think you are, is that, you know, you uncovered it as you went along, and there were bits where there was some surprise turns, weren't there, and illegitimacy and all this kind of stuff. What I'd like is when you look on your Wikipedia page, it says his great-grandparents were both illegitimus.

And it's like, it's disconnected. context so you just think was that a really shocking piece of news? The fact that people have got power over Wikipedia is endlessly fun though isn't it? Oh are we allowed dogs? Yes we're allowed dogs on a lead there's a little sign here

well it says you can enjoy them responsibly and if there's one dog I know that can be responsible in a flower garden is it Bruno? It's this dude come on Bruno you like flowers right? Oh Greg I like the flower garden what's nice is that every single

flower and it's dead. So it's a... I was going to... It's a wonderful reminder of how short life is. Yes. So your dad was this sort of funny person, you thought, right, okay, I'm going to stay on this path. Well, I didn't. I just did what he said and went into teaching for years and years and years. And then I just got to 33 and thought, well, I'm going to lose my mind.

Yeah. I'm going to actually go mad if I don't try it. So I tried it. Up until that point, the 33-year-old, the Jesus point in your life, were you funny? Were you destined to be Greg's hilarious? He's a funniest book in the pub. I told you before I listened to Rob Beckett chatting to you, was it last week or whatever it was,

and I was exactly the same as Rob. I was exhausting in a pub. And I bored myself. a tedious attention seeker. I think I'm a far better, I'm a far better person to go for a drink with now now that I get it all out of my system elsewhere. It's nice, you can actually have conversations with people

rather than go, right, what can I say to try and make this person laugh? Do you think some people never lose that need to win the room, though? Yeah, I do, yeah. I think some people are... Honestly, some people, I mean some comics. Yeah, I think a lot of comics are... addicted to it. And I feel that leaving me, to be honest. Do you? Yeah, I do. And I find it a relief. It's not that I feel my ambition waning. I love what I do, but I don't have that addiction anymore to making everybody laugh. I'm sure my friends would disagree, but I really am. I really am happy for,

you know, I had a significant birthday this year and I went on a weekend with four really good mates and I just watch them being pantomime drunken clangs really happily you know I wasn't trying to make it about me it nice and why do you think that is I just think you change I think you get things out of your system I've only worked it out this year that you are ever evolving it's only occurred to me that you don't God I'm trying to say something profound and I haven't got the vocabulary isn't it tragic I've never considered that the evolution of character before. I've just thought, well, I am who I am.

I am the same dickhead I was at 13. And it's only this year occurred to me that, well, maybe I'm actually, that's a different person. It's that cliche, though, isn't it? It's that cliche if you could just go back in time and sort it all out. We would have been amazing. Oh, man. But I think that's a reward for getting old. You know, as your body, not your body.

No, come on. As one's body crumbles. We're all there, dear. degenerate. That's the payback, I think, is that you become a little more subtle than a little happier in yourself. Well, I want to talk about when your Jesus Epiphany at 33, because I know post-teaching, you decided to go into comedy, and there is this thing you talked about once about the flotation tank. Oh, yeah. What happened again?

I was going out with a really lovely Australian girl called Trees. who is still alive back in Australia. And she was great. And we had a great time for the short time we went out. We went out for like 18 months, I think, or something like that. She was a PE teacher, and she was the exact opposite to me in every single way. So she was fit and conventionally attractive and positive about life and absolutely had direction.

And I was just this miserable fat prick who didn't know what he wanted to do in life. You know, and she was, I guess, you know, she was a real distraction for me because she was so wonderful and positive. But we were never going to stay together. I'm sure Trine would say that as well. But for my 32nd birthday, she bought me a session in a flotation tank. Because, and I quote, I thought you might be into that kind of shit. shit. I love it.

That's so fabulously Aussie, isn't it? It's so great. It was so alien to her. She thought, her thought process was, well, I don't really understand this guy I'm going out with. What kind of thing you might lie? I just get some weird shit for him and it'll be happy. So we both went and we had a

go in this flotation tank. Did you get a couple's flotation? No, separate. Oh, okay. But she went in one as well. We both came out feeling laughing and thinking it was great. And I really entered into the spirit of it. And then the next day I woke up and I felt quite tearful, I couldn't stop crying for four days.

I literally thought I'd lost my mind. I was driving into work and I was having to pull my car over and hysterically sob. It's so strange. And I thought, well, you've gone mad. That's official. And Trine was going, well, I don't know. hell what's wrong with you. Absolutely lost your mind. And come the weekend, I'm still crying. She said, I'm going to a barbecue and you're coming with me. As the story's progressed,

she's got a little gruffer. If by chance you've heard this train, I'm so sorry. She's lovely. She doesn't sound like that. And at that barbecue, just by chance, I overheard some hippie woman in the corner saying that she, she owned a flotation tank centre. I mean, the chances of her being at the barbecue were amazing. And I sort of ran up to her and went, you've got to help me. I've come mad. And what did she say?

And she just took me, she was lovely. She took me away and just sat me down and said, it's really common. It's really common for people who've entered into the spirit of the flotation tank, that all of these things get released, because it's such a deep state of relaxation. And I said, what's been released? And she said, well, it could be that you're in the wrong,

relationship or it could be that you've got or it could be that you've got an ambition that you haven't realised yet and she said have you and I said well yeah I have she said well there you go there's your answer and I stopped crying immediately and I applied for a comedy course on the following Monday I say that I filled out the form for a comedy course

and then I kept it in my car for a fortnight and then Trine saw it and went this better not be there Sorry, hey. This better not be there, yeah. That doesn't do it. No, she doesn't say like Dame Edna. I'll do Treene. I'll do Treene.

I'll do, because I think I'll... You do it. Okay. It'd be that comedy course you've been talking about. It is. She sounds a bit stern there. No, yeah. Make her a bit more...

Hey, Greg, this better not be that comedy course you've been going on about. It is Treen. Well, Greg, I don't know if this is such a great idea. No. No, this is what she said, I'll give you a script. She said, stop the car. And then she got out of the car and posted it for me. Stop the car.

I'm going to go and post this right now. Before you have a chance. I think I'm quite good at me. Thanks, Shane. You are good at Tree. Okay, Greg, you're doing that comedy course. Yeah. Whatever it takes.

That's it. And that's what happened. Oh, and you did it. No, I did it. And then that all worked out fine. I did some gigs. Here we are. It feels like it really, because I remember being,

you did, we are clang. Yes. And that was your first, that was post-Eddenborough, and you had this first taste of sort of attention, I suppose. And then I'm so fond of Steve Hall, so I don't want to gloss over Clang, but there's quite a lot to get through. Sorry, Steve.

The in-betweeners was sort of your breakthrough, wasn't it, in terms of people on the Steve-recognising. Yeah. We did the Clang telly show. I think it was much maligned, personally. Yeah. We certainly didn't get it right. We didn't, you know, our live shows were chaos.

Yeah. And we were so, I think, oh, Bruno's having a treat. Come on, Bruno. Do you want more treats? Oh, Greg, are you going to give him a treat? I've got a treat. Tell him to sit down, Greg. Sit down.

Bruno, sit. Good boy. What a good boy. Bruno, good boy. Hey, Bruno, I've got another one here. Look. Yeah, who's your friend now? Who's your friend there then?

We know it's all over you now. Yeah. He's loving it. Have that good boy. You've got him eating out of your hand, Greg. He's so lovely. So yeah, so anyway, but in between us, given that that had happened relatively quickly.

We did Clang went out and wasn't especially well received. And then, yeah, Ian Morris and Damon gave me, I was in the pub with them when the in between he's got commissions and they gave me the teacher part straight away. Were you scared, Greg? No, I didn't know it's going to be a giant hit. I thought it was just these two clangs doing a pilot. Why not do it?

I didn't know it was going to go mental. If I'd known the in-betweenes was going to be a giant hit that would boost my profile as much as it did despite how small my part is, I would have been probably, but I just thought it was a pilot for two silly men. I remember Ian, and I've still got that email, who's a mate of mine. I remember him sending it to me, and he said, what do you think of this?

And it was called baggy trousers. Of course. I forgot. That's what it was called. And it was set in the 80s. Yeah. And I remember saying, well, you set it in the 80s. I can't be bothered to research how kids talk now. So I've set it in the 80s. But isn't that funny, though, that one of the things that's so loved about the in-between is how authentic the voices of those silly boys are.

And as soon as I read it, I was like, wow, this is brilliant. But so, yeah, so your life sort of changed really dramatically then, Greg, didn't it? It certainly helped. Yeah. Yeah. It certainly helped. And did you feel you were able to, because then I just feel like, I think if he was so prolific in terms of all the stuff, your output. And Man Down was not too, was manned down before Cuckoo, wasn't it?

Yeah. No, actually. It was a real dilemma for me because Cuckoo was just before, I think, Mando. And I got the offer for Cuckoo when we were just finalising the deal for Mandown. So it's quite traumatic for me at the time. So funny, isn't it? All traumas that you look back on in life. They all seem so massive.

And then they're such horseshit. When you get it, knock on a, yeah. At the time, it was like, oh God, should I do Cuckoo and Man Down? Will one cancel the other out? That is something I strive to remind myself in this business when you get disappointment. or things aren't going your way. You do have to remember. I mean, Jesus Christ, this isn't work.

You would wait years for either of those to come along, those opportunities, wouldn't you? Yeah. And then they all happened at once. And it's funny, making a decision, I'm going to just jump on all these. It was quite a hard decision, but the correct decision. Yeah, definitely.

Definitely, because I think there's sufficiently different shows, and I had such a wonderful time on both shows. Let's go in the flower garden again. Yeah, that's... I'll try to get a can of cider, aren't you? I'll buy you one if you want. I've already bought the coffee. My instinct now is that we've talked about me enough.

I don't mean I want to stop. I mean, I was raised properly to inquire about other people. Go on, though. Do you get that feeling of slight guilt? Yes, massive guilt. That you're talking about yourself too much? Yes, too much, yeah. That shows what a nice person you are, though.

Well, I think it might be... Or is it something I've said to fool you into thinking I'm a nice person? No, I do feel that. I think it might be the first time anyone's ever said that in this entire... history of interviews I've never done. That's something I do feel awkward about, is if you meet people, and they're so excited to talk about you in your life.

Yeah. And it goes against my upbringing, which is to ask people about theirs. Yeah, that's all. Yeah, but also I think you're quite a curious person. I think you're interested in people. I am, yeah. Finding out what makes people tick.

People are endlessly fascinating. But that's why you create characters. You know, that's what you're interested. kind of do for a living, isn't it? I think acting, acting, might suggest that my range has not been a stretch, yeah. Well, people do say that your character in Mandown is essentially you, people say, don't they? Well, it's certainly a part of me.

All of that selfish, inconsolable rage is certainly there. Yeah. Do you have rage? Oh, God, but only over things that shouldn't matter. if I can't find I don't really understand this if I can't find a pair of trousers that I want to wear

I will literally pull everything out of my cupboard and kick chairs over like a psychopath do you yes I don't get I talk to yourself in your home of course I do you shout things yeah act to yourself

yeah I shout I scream things of rage and I'll talk to myself out loud in a really awful sarcastic voice. Oh, that's good. Oh, well done. You handled that well, didn't you? You fucking dick.

That's how mad I am in my home. With Man Down, though, you had a weird year, didn't you? Because Rick Mell, who plays your dad, he died really suddenly. He did, and it's such a... I mean, obviously it's a shame. It was such a shame because we had... You know, we were very lucky with Man...

down that they just kept letting us get better at it. I think the golf between the most recent series and the first series is enormous, and that's because I was given the opportunity to learn how to write properly. I think the golfing quality is huge. We had such plans for him, and he was so excited about it. So it was obviously terribly sad for everybody that he passed away, but he was still so ambitious and so hungry to make him. people laugh.

And then my dad died, that's what you're going to say, right? I know. I wasn't it the same year, wasn't it? Two months after Rick, yeah. Because I remember seeing you, Greg, and I'd never really had a sort of conversation. I've never seen you at things, but I'd never had a proper sort of conversation with you.

And that was one of the first times. I remember I was at a friend's party. It was our friend Jimmy's party, and I was chatting to you, and I'd had a really bad year, because I'd had a lot of deaths. And you'd had this, and I remember just chatting to you at this party,

and it was very kind of, it's scared and hard, and here. And then we started talking, about death for about an hour. And I thought quite bad and then I thought, do you know what? It really made me think. I thought, God, what a nice man. He's really decent. And I went through a phase of feeling

like the skull in a Renaissance painting every time I walked into the room. Do you know what I mean? Like, oh, here she is, the raven. Yeah, of course. And you can't help it because it's on your mind. And you really didn't make me feel uncomfortable and you were just, yeah, you were interested in talking about it.

And I thought, oh, okay, he's got a lot of depth. He's a good one. Well, I think, I don't know about that. I think there's a comfort in talking about it, and yet I relate to the awkwardness that people feel. You know, I've got really good friends who really didn't, weren't comfortable talking to me about my dad's death, even though they knew my dad's really well.

And I relate to that because I know how hard it is, but if you've lost someone who you cared about, there is nothing better for me than to talk about that person. You know, it's not, I am the antithesis of wanting to brush things under the carpet emotionally in those terms. Yeah, well, I love to talk about him. I got that sense. You know, it's funny, Frank Skinner, who I do a radio show with.

He describes it as, it's like a breakup, a bereavement. You're like the ancient mariner. You need to tell your tale. Right. And I think there's that sense of going around grabbing strangers. And so I meet with the glistering eye. I need to talk to you about this. And then...

You definitely gravitate to someone else who's feeling... Yeah, you do. But I understand why people get awkward. I understand why other people get awkward. Yeah. Because they think that you're going to burst into tears. But I mean, I know. I can only tell you how I feel,

and that is I love to talk about him. And with every day that passes, I... You know, I've just done a tour. And he's been dead for four. years and yet he was still at the heart of it. I never wanted to do a dead dad show. I don't need to manage my grief on stage, but I do enjoy keeping his memory going, you know. Do you miss him still? So much, so much I do. And your sister, are you close to her, Greg? Yeah, very close. We're a very

close family. We all miss him terribly, but I think that cliche is true that with every day passes, increasingly the memories get, the memories make you smile as opposed to making you cry. That's what I've found with him. And I feel him with me. And I'm not at all religious. Really? Yeah, but I really feel his present. Oh, so nice though. It's just lurking in my brain. It sounds like you have a similar personality to him as well. Do you ever get there? You think, oh, I really sounded like my mum or my dad. It's terrifying me like him. Yeah. Terrified.

They're like a science experiment. Oh, come on Bruno. Cuckoo is, I think, is it back in January? Yeah. And I'm very excited at one particular guest. Are we allowed to say it? Yeah, yeah. It's been announced.

So it's Andy McDowell? So strange, right? It's crazy, but this is amazing. Well, I think Cuckoo's consistently delivered those what the fuck. Yeah. You know, I was excited to work with Andy Sandberg. It's sort of Tarantino moment. So you're like, what?

Oh, God, every email from that company is we're going to... Auntie can't do the next two. We're going to get Taylor from Twilight. What the fuck? And you two were so brilliant together, which I wouldn't have envisaged. No, and I said many times what an unlikely friendship is. Yeah.

You know, we get on famously. And how is Andy? And then Andy McDowell, yeah, lovely. I mean, they immediately made her my sister. They're not going to go with the preposterous notion of us being a couple. Although, Helen Baxendale's my wife, I've had lots of my friends go, yeah, right. You get to a lovely wife.

That's likely, isn't it, if that's so? Can you say this? But I've got a theory about this, because I think you are very conventionally attractive and you get a lot of female attention. I'm always aware about Greg, in a room. Here's the thing, though. Yeah.

I see women buzzing around you. They do not. They've got no choice. They're drawn in by my gravity. No. I think it's more... I think you exude a confidence. Oh, well, maybe.

You know, there's that thing that my dad had as well. It's that sort of... It's that desire to entertainer. My mum says that I've grown into my face, and I think I have a bit. I'm less horrified looking at the mirror than I was when I was 25, for sure. But were you, and I'm not going to ask about your romantic life, because I always think it's quite rude when people do that,

but when you were younger... I just don't talk about that, do you? But also it's a weird thing as well, that I think if you don't have kids, which I don't, normally. Sometimes I get quite cross-examined about that, and I don't know if you get that as a man, but a woman, it's really hard because it's like, it's a kind of weird thing.

Have you developed a standard answer for that? I suppose my personal thing was I just felt, no, I think I was just quite damaged, and it took me a long time to sort it out, and I didn't really want to pass that on to it. Is that weird? It's all right. But I think that's true.

Yeah. And I think, well, actually, I've only feel now that I'm not a complete mess. So what if I'd have had kids when I was 22, and these people would be in therapy? I remember an ex-girlfriend saying to me, who was just, she was so wonderful. And we had such a great time. And we were in our, it doesn't matter what age you were. I don't want to identify her. But you had a good relationship.

Yeah, we had a great relationship. And I remember her saying to me, I want to have children in the next two years. Yeah. And I... Are you fucking talking about children? And I was in my late... I was old enough to be a father, for sure. But the idea of it to me was, have you any idea

how much I've got... How much of this ball of string I've got to unwind before I can think about producing children? At the time, all my friends were having children, to me, it was as preposterous as someone suggesting I start a career as a juggler. I mean, it's just... What are you talking about?

of course I can't be responsible for other people's lives. And the truth is, of course, you could have been, probably. One could have been, but I wasn't. But to me, the need to procreate and the need to pass my genes on and has never... I don't really know why, but it's never been this burning biological thing for me. I wonder why that is. The only thing I crave is having your own...

gang, I think. Oh, yeah. That's what I see. Because I, our family, we were a great gang. That's a life goal, really, I think. I like that, great. You've got to put your own gang together at some point.

And that's what's nice about a dog. I feel like that. Is he with a mate? Is he one your gang members? He's my gang members. He's like the shitty one that couldn't be trusted with any important jobs. He's like the dozy getaway driver.

There's a dog that you've semi-adopted in Spain, isn't it? Yeah. And if I was more so, fish that dog would be here now actually I go to the same place in Spain well I don't say where it is but yeah you go to a place in Spain yeah just because it's really such a contrast to everything else else this weird little village away from everything and the house I stay in opposite

my neighbour has got four dogs two of which are puppies that he found under a car and he couldn't bring himself to turn away and I went out this summer for about six seven weeks I've told you all this I'll say it for the population right You described yourself when I saw you, you said, well, I've got a dog. It was really sweet.

And he said, well, I kind of have. I've sort of adopted it. Well, she adopted me. I'm a patron of a little dog rescue centre in Shropshire, in Grinsill, specifically, the Grinsville Rescue Centre. And there's another Shropshire-based dogs home that I go to a lot. And the person who runs one of them said to me, your dog will find you eventually. And I remember internally going, horseshit. Yeah.

You know, that's sort of romanticised nonsense. And then when I was in Spain, and I spent sort of periodic times on my own, sort of three or four days on my own in between my friends and family coming out. And this dog just decided she was my dog. And I sort of think we will end up... Yeah, we will end up together.

Will you bring her over here? Well, I think when I'm not living in a two-bedroom flat near tiny park. But it was very strange because I wasn't feeding her and she was going back to my neighbours for food and then coming back to me and going, no, you and me going to hang out now.

You are going to end up being a dog owner. I would have brought her back now, honestly, because the guy I know out there said you can have her. I've got too many of them. And I really did think about it. And then I watched her running around the Spanish mountains with her brother rolling around, having a brilliant time.

And I thought, that's no good, is it? Well, I'm off doing whatever I'm doing. She's sitting in a flat. Is it nice, your part? Oh, it's lovely. Is it? I've heard it is. Do you decorate it and things?

It's the only thing that kept me saying, writing Mandone. Oh, no. Was doing my flat up here. I used to sit there with a computer on my lap going, I could get some really nice paintings. Really set that wall off. You make your space nice, but that's a good mental health thing. I think it is.

No, I think it's... I don't fully understand the importance of homemaking. It's one of the few things I felt viscerally. Really? I've got to make this place just so. Yeah. I don't know whether that's related to preparing for my gang. I love the idea of your gang now.

I do think of you as a gang. Whenever I see you at events, I say events, it makes it sound like, but friends parties or whatever. It's normally off Jimmy. Specifically one friend's party. He has so many, though. It's like we have like a really close thing. Obviously you see you seven or eight times a year.

I'm friends I don't see that often because of Jimmy's parties. But it's funny whenever I see you there, you're always laughing and you're at the end of it. You've got a little crew of people around you. I don't know whether you know this, but comedians at any event will just run to each other. And it's not because they want to exclude other people. It's because they're all desperately insecure. freaks and it's like, oh good, I've got someone I've got someone I know.

I've always felt really self-conscious at parties, you know, organised parties. Don't you? You just swan in and go, here I am. Who will come to me? You know, I think people are social architects, some people. So they walk into a room and they sort of set the tone and they... Oh, but that's so...

Not me at all. Do you think you're not? to social events as self-conscious as I was when I was 19 doing it. I'm fine once I found someone I know to chat to. I'm not someone who swans into a room and goes, here I am. And to be honest with you, I don't trust those people. Well, that's what's interesting is what you're making basically confident sound like some monster you go, here I am.

I do, I find it. I find, and I've always found hugely confident people, and I think as a kid, oh my God, I was absolutely. petrified of everything. Really? Yeah. Kids at school who were like

dyeing their hair at 13 and here I am. Look at my wearing, look at my suede boots I'm wearing. I love the idea of here. Yes,

the swayed boots people. And the boys would wear eyeliner, those ones. Yeah, I know them. And if I'd come downstairs with eyeliner and boots on my parents would have gone in a breakdown.

He faded to the background where you belong. I've got a question It's a bit embarrassing to ask Especially when you're this age But I'd quite like to be Maybe I can't be in the actual gang Because I don't know anyone enough

But can I be like a driver Or like a I could help the gang out I'm small I could be a mascot for the gang So you might not want me in your gang Well I'm saying that I really like to be your friend Yeah okay

Well let's give it a go Emily I think this has been a really I think it's been a really encouraging start. Do you cry, Greg? Yeah. I'm going to let stuff out occasionally, but I'm not big cryer. That's why that whole

flotation tank thing was so unusual because it was such consistent crying. I think the occasional howl's good for you, isn't it? Definitely. You're a cryer. You can tell I am. I'm a massive cryer. I know odd to ask you.

There has to be a release. The Graham, you're Graham Norton. Yeah. So is it like 8 million people have watched that now? Yes. You, I know it's weird, but even though I would have described you as an acquaintance rather than a friend before you said I might be able to join the gang. Yeah. I felt really proud watching that.

Oh, that's nice. Oh, my God, Greg's making Ryan cozzling laugh. Like, he's actually pissing himself. Yeah. I thought, oh, wow, this is amazing. It is quite odd when you see someone as famous as. him and you suddenly interact. And Jodie Foster was on that sofa as well.

And Russell Crow, we should say. Yeah, yeah. I think it's one of those moments where you go, fuck it, we'll have a go like this. It doesn't matter, does it? What's the worst it can happen? And yeah, it was fun. Do you get a sense, when you're about to tell an anecdote

when you're on those shows and you're with like, Ryan Gosling and, you know, Russell Crow and Jody Foster? Yeah. Do you get that lurch in your stomach? Like, I call it the wrecking ball, where you're in the starting gates, Oh my God, is this going to go okay? Or do you just feel this is fine?

I know what I'm doing. I think the only time I get that horrible, sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach is when I don't have confidence in what I'm about to say. And I knew that story was funny. You know, you put all the work into a whole show. But then I go and do a terrible Christian. You bank impression on a Catsda's countdown.

I have more, I have more comments about me doing a Chris Eubank impression than four series of Mando. Do you know what? I've had such a lovely time with you, Gwen. You've got a very calming present. Thank you. What's this? It's a war memorial, I guess. It's a bit funky, isn't it?

It looks like a... It was on 15th of October 1940. It's a Maya Angelou quote. Destroyed an air raid. On this spot. I have never seen that before. Oh, Bruno speaks. Bruno, that's your first box.

A bomb dropped on this spot in 194. I've never noticed it. Have you enjoyed your time with Bruno then? I think Bruno's lovely. I think I've not given him the attention he deserves because I enjoyed chatting to you, Emily. And we've got a bark out of him. I really hope you enjoyed listening to that

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