Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Harriet Kemsley (Part One)

Episode Date: September 15, 2026

This week Emily and Ray head to South London to meet the brilliantly funny Harriet Kemsley and her beautiful Cavapoo, Sunny.With torrential rain putting a stop to the planned walk, Harriet welcomes Emily and Ray into her home instead, where things get off to a slightly chaotic start when a questionable-looking cashew milk coffee leads Emily to secretly send a photo to ChatGPT to check it’s safe to drink.Once the coffee situation is resolved, Harriet chats about growing up on a farm, studying drama in New York and eventually overcoming her shyness to try stand-up comedy. It turned out to be a very good decision, with Harriet going on to appear in shows including Last One Laughing, 8 Out of 10 Cats and Would I Lie to You?, alongside building a hugely successful career as a live comedian.Her brand new stand-up show, Floozy, heads out on tour this autumn, with dates across the country through to February. You can book tickets now at HarrietKemsley.com.Harriet and Sunny can also be seen in the new TV series Wagging Rights, alongside Rhod Gilbert, Sara Pascoe, Kae Curd and Vicky Pattison, as they attempt to train their dogs and compete for canine bragging rights. You can catch the series on U & Dave and stream it for free on U.It’s a wonderfully funny and chaotic chat with someone Emily describes as a human serotonin boost. And despite one small toileting incident on the living room floor, Sunny proves himself to be an absolute gent.Follow Emily:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilyrebeccadeanX: https://twitter.com/divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Will NicholsMusic: Rich JarmanArtwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the most stressful forecast I've ever done in my life. Why is this so? This week on walking the dog, Raymond and I popped over to South London to meet comedian Harriet Kemsley and her beautiful little cabapapoo, Sunny. Now, talking of Sunny, it was anything but on the morning we were due to me. In fact, it was pouring with rain. So Harriet suggested we head over to her house instead. She was fabulously welcoming and made me a lovely cup of coffee. I say lovely. She used cashew milk, which made it look a bit like something had gone wrong in a laboratory.

Harriet became convinced it was undrinkable, and then I had to confess to her that I'd already sneaked into another room and sent a photo of it to chat GPT to check it wasn't going to kill me. At which point, she insisted on making me another one. But coffee dramas aside, Ray and I genuinely had the loveliest time with Harriet, because this woman is just a human serotonin boost. She's an absolute joy to be around,

and we talked about everything from her childhood growing up on a farm, her experiences studying drama in New York, and finally overcoming her shyness to give stand-up comedy a go. She's since gone on to become a hugely successful comedian with appearances on shows like Last One Laughing, 8 out of 10 cats, and Would I Lie to You, along with her exceptional stand-up. In fact, her brand-new show Flusi is heading out on tour this autumn

and she'll be taking it all over the country until February, so book your tickets now, Harriet Kemsley.com. And you can also see Harriet and Sunny in action in the new TV show Waging Rites, where she'll be joining Rod Gilbert, Sarah Pascoe, Kay Caird, and Vicki Pattinson. As they attempt to train their dogs, you can catch Waging Rights on you and Dave

and stream it for free on you. Ray and I had such a fabulous time with Harriet and Sunny. We honestly didn't want it to end, and I was genuinely very impressed by the effort she's put into training Sunny. In fact, I'm going to go so far as to call him an absolute gent. A gent who had an unfortunate toileting incident on the living room floor, but we shall never speak of this again.

Really hope you enjoy our chat. Here's Harriet and Sunny and Ray Ray. Right, I'm putting my coffee down. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, it's the worst coffee. You've got to keep stirring it because it's separating and doing a bad advert for cashew milk. It's unusual coffee, but I don't mind it.

What's happened to it? It looks visually so bad. I don't know why it's all separated. I'm so stressed by it. Would you have a herbal tea or a black coffee? No, it's fine. And the second one I made. And I tried to make it frothy, and it's just not frothy at all.

I've got a confession to make. I'm going to, I should set the scene here. I'm at Harriet's house, gorgeous house. Thought I get better coffee at a house of this standard. The reason we came here, and I instantly knew I was going to love Harriet when this happened, is that it was pissing down with rain. morning and we got a message saying Harriet says would you like to do it at her house instead and I just wanted to kiss you because I thought oh I love that

you're we're not having to wander around in the rain doing the dog walk I just thought how is that possible if how is anyone listening through the because it's not just raining a little bit I know and then I thought there's a little cafe but then they might not want us there I just thought it might be I know I've met your dog no your dog is love your dog is lovely and then so I came in met the dog, Sunny, who we'll talk about, and you made me a coffee. Yes. And you said, are you okay with cashew milk?

And you said, can I just, just do rewind, you said, cashew milk is my favourite. But I didn't know it's going to look like that. And then when you can see, I'm not actually drinking cashew milk. I've got my coffee black. When you went upstairs, I think we should start with real honesty. I asked chat GPT because it separated. and I went into your child's playroom and I whispered, my friend has made me a cup of coffee and the milk looks weird.

Can I, honestly, you can see this on my chat chagip-tree. This is so upsetting. Can I drink, is this safe to drink and has it just separated? And then, can I tell you what chat chabby-t-t-tich is? But I just want you to know next time I'm walking through the rain. Next time, next time no one is going to mind. This is too stressful. Why is this happening?

You try and do a nice thing and it backfires so badly. It's been such a start to it. I've enjoyed it enormously. Would you like a herbal tea though? Can I just get you something that doesn't have cashew milk in it? No, I quite like it. I'm going to go in. Should I give it a taste? Please.

Please, please don't drink it. I actually like it. Because I do like cashew milk. Cashew milk is nice. I don't know why it's doing this. Like it's like I had a tea this morning and this. happened. It's fine. It's the price you have to pay for being healthy. We should say, it's so lovely to be here by the way. It's really nice to see you. And can I say

what a greeting from your dog? Do you want to say what happened when Ray and I walked into your home? I don't know what you're talking about but thank you. It's been lovely to see you. Thank you for coming this. It was within seconds. We said Ray, meet Sonny. Sonny, meet Ray. Sorry. This is the most stressful forecast I've ever done in my life. Why is this so... Sunny.

Sunny shit on the floor. Sunny shit on the floor. What do you do? But it wasn't a sort of, oh dear, I'm desperate for the bathroom. It was an intent. It was a message. Yeah, it was a message and it was, you're not welcome. It was a dirty protest.

Yes, it was because he was kind of looking you in the eyes while he did it. And it was right in front. And he's a house train. So this isn't a... He's not meant to be doing this. I should say that apart from the unfortunate shit incident, one of my favourite books. And the coffee.

And the coffee. Yeah. I'm feeling, I'm going to be honest. I'm feeling a very good energy in this house. Okay, thank you. Do you like that? It's a chaotic charm. That's what I like.

I've had a job at the end of myself. We're hoping the charm comes across, but chaos is the main energy I think you're picking up on. No, why not? I think it's so beautiful your home. I won't go into any details about it. We don't want anyone identifying it. But it's lovely.

There's a very good energy here. Thank you. I've started to gradually. I've had it for a while and I used to live in it with my ex-husband. And he made a large majority of it into a podcast studio, which was not, I will say, my aesthetics. And then he left and I've been able to take over. But I've been able to do things gradually.

I've done the floor in the kitchen and then I really need to I've realised especially it's raining so much today the roof has been needing doing since we've moved in and I should have prioritised the roof you get rid of that corrugated art and I'm going to start leaking yeah it started leaking yeah you're getting that sweet glass one yeah yeah there's a big hole in the yeah in the ceiling so that that needs to be done but yeah we'll get that it's just so boring to spend money on a roof I know it's just what like it's just you can't see it millennial thing I've ever heard.

I love it. Are you actually Jen Z? I feel you are. No, no. Are you millennial? No, millennial. Okay, fine. We need to talk about your dog.

I'm obsessed with your dog. Oh, God. I really love Sonny. I love him so much. He's completely useless, but I love him so much. Why is he useless? He's just, like, he's so badly trained, and I know that that's my fault. And he's picked up, he's picked up on all of my, like, anxieties.

Like, this is the problem. And so this is one of the problem. the things that the dog trainers are to say is that I am the problem. So we should say, Harriet, and we're going to talk about this at length, because Harriet's just starring in a brand new show called Wagging Rights, which I mean, of course I loved it. What's not for me to love about a show called Wagging Lights featuring comedians training their dogs? But one of the reasons you did this was to help with some behavioural stuff?

Yes, yeah, I thought this is amazing. But he's a stubborn boy. I am not a good learner and so the two together have I don't know if the trainers have ever come across anything like this before yeah um yeah I'd say flummoxed is a good word but he's this is him he's actually better like shh he's actually that's not my stomach yeah he's actually better than he was this is this is sunny improved this is sunny 2.0. And Sonny is a type of, is there some poodle in there or multi? Yes, there's a puddle.

He's had a quite severe haircut. The dog trainer. Yeah, you can see like pink skin. I'm going to say, is his hair cut? Or has he been in an accident? He looks a bit like a raw chicken at the moment. I didn't know what I didn't want to say. She likes a close crop.

Yes, he's got a little bit. He's gone a little bit. Yeah, what do they call? it with men I don't know it's um yeah it's a bit it's a little bit severe there's not much yeah it's not much on the army you know they go i don't know but i don't want to it's got that right but um is this so part bits of poodle is it is it a crop is he's a cavapoo um but i think he's mainly poodle and he didn't grow like the other cavapoo's a bigger i don't know really what happened wait he was like the run so it's a cavapapoo yeah he's a cabapoo really

Are you sure? That's what I was told. Harriet, I've got to tell you, I've interviewed, probably encountered several thousand dogs on the podcast. I met a number of cabapoo. I'm going to show you a picture of a cavapoo.

Sally's looking at me furious. I got him from a woman in Essex, and she said he was a capo. but he might be a rap Oh yeah you want a cabapoo I've got hundreds of those love Oh Dalmatian you said yeah It's Dalmatian

Oh Christ Harriet Yeah yeah they Well we'll take a picture and see what the listeners think Because the cavapos are so much bigger Like because Yeah they're a hell of a lot bigger Yeah

Because they're a cross between a cavalier And a poodle Yeah because I will I walk you've got a lot with them Sophie Willing's got a cabapoo. Oh, I love her. Or actually, maybe Lily's a cockapoo, but he's so much bigger and she's so much

sturdier. And then Sonny's just, I don't know. I'm going to, have you ever done that DNA testing with dolls? I don't know you could do that. I'm going to buy you that as a gift. I'm going to buy you that as a gift. I don't know what. I'm going to buy you that as a gift because I'm really curious to know, because I can tell you

now, Sunny is not a cavapoo. so we should find out what he is. So I want to know about your history with dogs because you grew up and it's my favourite thing about you on a farm. Yeah, yeah. And where was this? In Nick Canterbury and Kent. Yeah, so I grew up on a farm and my parents always had pointers

because they're like family and they're beautiful, lovely dogs. I unfortunately, especially back then, was quite allergic to dogs. And so every time they'd get a new dog, I'd say, do you think you could get one that's anboelogenic? And they'd say, they would think about it. But they would always get when I was allergic to. Oh, no. You know what it started doing? It started responding about their cashew milk.

No. It's like cereal or something. It started automatically translating everything you're saying. I don't need you to do that. It doesn't think I'm speaking English. That's so insulted. My phone is actually on an alert when someone been given some terrible misinformation and it just said that is not a cavapoo she has been lied to

so the pointer dogs in the pointer dogs they were lovely yes we had um yeah because they were german pointers and so we had um mutley who was actually quite badly behaved matli was beautiful and then uh siggy and then i named um indy indiana jones um and then and then Of the bits of them? Well, when they had done, I would get a new one. And then had a Braco Italiano, who my parents got, who was amazing called Arno. And he just died last year, which was so sad. But they've just got a Spanish water hound.

Oh yes, similar to the Portuguese water dog. Maybe that's what I mean. I think you might do. I didn't want to correct you that. You did, though. You did, though. Maybe it's a cabap-a-plu. Portuguese water dog

famously owned by sorry or as some people call it Spanish water hound Portuguese water dog famous most famous owner next to the Kansleys Barok Obama

Yes Had a Portuguese water dog Yes I remember that and he looks Yeah it looks just like Yes So they boys had dogs And then my brother And his wife

they have a Frenchie and then poor son, he just can't. All the other dogs are so boisterous and he just can't. He just doesn't know what to do. He can't keep up with the pointers in the Spanish waterhouse. No, he's not. He's not, he just wants to sit nicely. But that meant that you grew up very much comfortable with dogs. Yeah.

And animals? Yeah, like sneezing a lot, but yeah. As comfortable as you can be. And what did your parents do? Were they farmers? Yeah, my dad was a farmer. When he retrained, so it was like my granddad was a farmer, not my great-granddad, and then he retrained when he was in his 40s to be a maths teacher.

Like he loved maths, and he went and taught at my old school. Because I think that's something he would have always liked to do, but it was like he did the, and like, I think there were parts of the farm that he loved. But yeah, then he became a maths teacher and he just loved it. And did the farm do well for them? Were they able to earn a reasonable living from it? I think it's really difficult, I think, with farming. And so I think he just wanted to do something different.

And so you were growing up on this farm, and I always, obviously, as a real urban art, he's only ever lived in London, I always think it's so romantic and like the ultimate childhood running around with animals. Well, I say that. Now Sunny is not advertising animals, well. Sunny's a city boy for sure.

It's the post person. Yeah. It's all right, Sunny, darling. Did you hear? Were you protecting us? Oh, you see when that happens, he's just protecting us. That's it, and that's what they taught me on the show. It's like, I've passed on the anxiety.

He doesn't feel safe in this home because of my behaviour. My behaviour. Darling, you're only helping us. I know, Sonny. You had to let us know. You're a good dog. But apparently, yeah, I know, I was going to say that, but that's actually unsafe if I say that. So, I'm not.

I think they were all right. Yeah, great, great. So how would you describe the sort of energy in your house? Because I always think, like, my childhood was very, my parents were, my mum was an actor and my dad. He worked for the BBC, made documentaries. Yeah. So it's very sort of, I think, a lot of cigarettes and red wine and dinner parties that went on a very bohemian, slightly chaotic. My sister and I didn't have a bedtime.

What would you describe your childhood sort of energy like in your house, your family energy? Was it funny? Was it relaxed? Was it? Yeah, I think it was, it was funny, but it was quite strict. It was like you were free and that like, yeah, you could run around a farm, but it was like, it was very organised. Like there was a specific bedtime, like my life now is very much not that, I think. But yeah, there was a real like freedom to being on the farm, but it was like I was just, I think I was just an anomaly. Like they just, I mean, they all ate me like my dad would shoot like and, and, you. I became vegetarian and I was eight.

And so it's like, what is this? What is this? It was like, I was, I always think it's like, you know, that film elf when Will Ferrell is set and he's clearly not an elf. And everyone's, everybody's pretending that he's an elf, like he doesn't fit in the desk. I think it was a bit like that. It was like, what, why is she hit? Like, she's not the same species, maybe. But yeah, it was.

That's so interesting, isn't it? Because people always say with comics, stand-ups always have a point of difference. Generally in their childhood, you can always find something that made them feel slightly other, whatever that was. And even with you and your family, there you've got it,

is the thing where you're the childhood of a farmer who makes a decision at eight that you object to eating meat. Yeah. That's always going to set you apart, isn't it? And then I also, I was allergic to raw food. fruit and vegetables and so I was I just did like me living on a farm just like I was always had hives like I was always I couldn't really eat the stuff on the farm like it was just

so stupid it was just yeah it was all um but um do you remember the vegetarian thing was that did you just sort of say to your was it because did you have a pet chicken I had a pet chicken called whiskey and whiskey died and the next day of natural causes or Yeah, I didn't murder her. What he suggested him? Now, what I meant was, did it? For the far away. Maybe your dad, and I wouldn't use the word murdered,

but humanely destroyed her for monitoring purposes. For food, for food, no, not just a cold blood kind of situation. So whiskey died of natural causes. And I just, the next day, went to eat something. I think that was made of cow and I just pictured the cow in my mind and I just have never eaten meat since and my mum was really really good like she'd make like separate meals like it must have been so annoying and then she was so good about it and then my dad was just like what is what is happening here what were you like as a child into I know that's a hard question to answer because

obviously you're just you it's hard for you to see that but I always think a useful way sometimes to try and think about that is I think if you can imagine you know one of your friends their parents talking about you and saying well what's Harriet like what do you think they would have said that I was very shy like I was really shy I couldn't my mum said that it would be so tragic like it would get to the end of a birthday party and I'd be like sat like holding her leg the whole time and then it would just be about to end and I'd get the courage to join in and then everyone would go home like it was just it was I was just so shy I didn't know how to make I just didn't know how to talk to

anybody and so I was really shy I was really well behaved and I was also but I was also chaotic so it was just my mom is like very like she's very like together she's very organized and everything's like really nice and then I break every she said every single meal I would knock over a glass I would and that that was thin after a while like it was like it got to the point where I wasn't allowed to sit on the sofa if I had like a squash because it just would be inevitable that I would spill the squash yeah so I'd have to sit on the floor. And so, like that thing of being,

just being a bit chaotic, I think. I knew, well, also undiagnosed dyspraxia. Yes, because you later found that out when you were older. Yeah, yeah, I was like in my late 20. So I think that really helped kind of be like, oh, I wasn't just being difficult or like thoughtless. I just like, I'm a clinical mess. But that's also, that's a great autobiography title, by the way.

You're writing a memoir, which you should. I think also I wonder if with that comes a sense of sort of coming to terms with your younger self and sort of having a period of thinking, God, that must have been tough for me actually, because I was constantly thinking how embarrassing. I bet you felt that a lot. Yeah, I felt like I was so embarrassing. And I think that's why speaking to people as hard, because I'd always say the wrong thing or people would be confused as to why I'd said something,

and I just never could quite get it right. And then one of the teachers at school, she banned me from homework, because I'd just lose the sheets and she thought I was being difficult but just every week she'd say where's it was she? And I would just, I wouldn't have it or it'd be crumpled and it would be all broken and she'd got so furious

and she said, well you're just banned you're bound from homework, you won't get any. And that was brilliant, you know, for a while until you did your GCSE and you're a bit fucked. But yeah, it was just a thing of like, oh, I'm not doing this on purpose. Like there is a reason why it's maybe a bit easier for other people to manage.

And that's been the great, that's the great thing about just understanding yourself a bit better. That's why, yeah, I think it's really good to get diagnosed with things and understand yourself. And that's why the rise in diagnoses, I think, is really good. I do and I agree with you because I know people are saying, oh, everyone's got this, everyone's got that. And I think, no, it's not that everyone's got it. It's just that people would have been dismissed as, you know, he's a bit weird.

Yeah, you're lazy or you're with, it's like horrible words would have been used. It's like you were just sort of demonised as unpopular and targeted and bullied. And it seems like now we're just saying, oh, no, there was always been people who are different and either not completely neurotypical or, you know, something like dyspraxia also is that I can see how you would feel chaotic all the time and self-conscious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was things like just like leaving, just going anywhere just feels so hard. Just trying to get on top of everything. but then you just learn skills and if you know what it is you learn like strategies

and then you can manage life so much better. And dyspraxia just so I know that means sort of I mean because I don't want to use as like clumsiness feels really rude but it's No it's literally yeah Is it? Is that what it is? It's like so I think there's a lot of crossovers with other

The way that I always describe it which I don't know people would like but yeah I say it's like it's like clumsiness and also I always think it's like your thinking can be a bit confused like you can be a bit muddled like you're just not quite like saying or do like everyone's like why would you do that but that seems to be the reaction quite a lot so it's kind of presumably it's things like spatial awareness or spatial awareness does it come into time planning where you're quite good on yeah no bad with that so yeah so so it's more a sort of general sense of you know those people harriet i look at those women who have what

those with those immaculate handbags and i'm just at peace do you know those and i'm just at peace with the fact that I'm never going to be them. I will have coffee spilt on it. There's receipts, there's dog poo bags filled. And the dog poo, you know, when they're in a roll, and then the rolls unravels, and then you're just pulling, you're like Mary Poppins or something, you're just pulling dog after dog poo bag out of a bag, and then you're like this is, obviously not full, it's just the empty bags won't stop like you're a magician with them. And I shove them all in my cupboard unrolled. Yeah. Because I know, and then I look at women and they sometimes get the dog poo bag and they've got a blush pink mulberry dog poo bag with

gold fixtures on it where one lately comes out with their perfectly manicured french manicured acrylics yes i would love i would love to be it just feels like everything would be so much simpler and but then i'm not going to put the dog piece bags back into the mulberry little pouch it's going to go somewhere else and then we will lose the marlory pouch yes like my mom like my mom is very like she is very like that she's very like together um and yeah i'd love to be like that but um but then you wouldn't be funny oh well I'll trade it for a clean handbag any day. I can't allow you that.

You might be funny, but you might be really type A and I wouldn't like you as much as I'm doing. And that's all the count. So I'm thinking of you, are you thinking at this point I'm funny? I'm making my family laugh. I'm... I would always, things would just happen.

And so my mum. mum would often like my mum was so sweet and like she'd I think I was just like so painfully shy and we would go somewhere and then my mum would um they could they were so good and they could really see like who I was and my friends would find me funny but if I didn't know anyone I just would be so like polite and nice and reserved but then my mum would set me up we'd go to like a dinner party or something it was like she was Graham Norton or something and she'd go do you remember that thing that happened uh when you what did you tell everybody and then she'd have felt like my family would found it really funny and then I'd go to say it and everyone would be like she's like it would just

seem so strange I think if you didn't know me just it would just be such a um an odd thing but they were so they're the reason I did stand up like it's so I've not met another comic every other comic is like parents want them to be a doctor and mine were like I mean she's there's no hope um and so they said we think they were watching live at the Apollo and they said we think you should try stand up like you always have like, and I was doing acting and like writing bits, but they were like, you always have something, a funny story, like something is always happening to you. And I was like, it felt so far removed, like, from the farm or from like my life.

Because you didn't know other performers. No, no, no. No, so it just felt, it felt mad. And you ended up, well, did you go to New York before you went to university? Yeah, yeah. So when did you go to New York? Because this is a mental part of your life. Yeah, it is.

Like you're on the farm in Ken. Yeah, so this is my one, like, nepo baby situation is that my great uncle, he was an actor. So he was in the whole Shakespeare company and he was in his parents. Oh, really? Well, they, as soon as you said RSC, I thought, oh, that was our bag. What's your great band? He is called Roger Croucher. So that poster there is, he directed it, so that's why I, why I have it.

I have it. He was like head of the raw court. It's not entertaining Mr. Sloane. Yeah. So it was like, oh my god. It's not the one with Beryl Reid. Oh my god. Yeah. So he was head of the raw court upstairs for um for years. And so you know that's one of my favorite things. Yeah. Yeah. I am I yeah, I remember reading it years ago and um he just to me growing up. He was like my one, he was my great uncle's he was my granddad's brother and he was just my one link to kind of like acting and theater in this kind of world and I just thought he was amazing and then he like worked at Lambda

he was like head of Lambda for a bit and he went over to New York and he was head of the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and so I couldn't get into, I was trying to get into drama school in the UK and they'd always like I was just such an odd and I just would try and be so like just like polite and nice

and just so odd in how I speak sometimes I think and they would just always say I think you need more life experience and then um were you upset when you wouldn't get into devastating because that was like my like that was the thing where I felt like I could be myself like that was the the thing and I did like the National Youth Theatre and things like that and I was like oh that's going to be my path like I'm not academic I'm not these things but actually I didn't really fit in with acting like actors can be quite serious and quite like it was finding comedy that like I found the people with my brain I think but then he was in New York and um

I, yeah, auditioned for it. And, I mean, I don't think there's, like, a rigorous audition process. And you got a place there? Yeah. And this was cool. And so that was expensive, though. How did you finance that? So I did a year's worth of, so I went when I was 19, so I, like, I worked for a year and I lived at home.

And you saved up money for. Yeah. And then I got help for my parents. And that's why I left after a year, because I was like, you couldn't get a student loan. You couldn't really work out there unless you did stuff under the table. And I was like, this isn't, like, this isn't. like my parents couldn't really afford to like float me to be in New York for years. So it was only for a year and did you, how did you find it being in New York? Do you like it?

It was amazing. It was amazing and it was one of those, it was a three year course and so, but I knew that and I think they would have found a way if I'd been like, look, I know how to do this, I know what to do, but I was like I can't see this pain. It's just, it was really fun. It was like the funest, yeah, the craziest funnesty of my life. We lived in the New Yorker, hotel, which is like right by Madison Square Garden. They had two floors for students and they would like, I mean, it's like the rest of the hotel, it was like a bit shabby by this point, but like these two floors, like there was like cockroaches and mice, but it was like we live like right in the middle of Manhattan and you couldn't really legally drink because we were 19, but you'd be able to sneak into places and it was just, it was just like a really fun year. And then I came back and I enrolled in university and. And you went to. Kingston. Yeah, I went to Kingston, but I lived in London with a friend of mine that was in New York with me and I worked at the Rose Theatre, which just opened in Kingston, but I lived like an hour away on the bus and so I didn't make any friends. It was like the loneliest year

of my life. It was so bad, yeah. Like New York was so fun and I was so like in it. Like I was given like a roommate because it was cheap of you like shared a room so we just shared this like little room in the middle of New York for a year, this like American girl who's now and my best friends. It must have been quite a come down. No offence to Kingston. Yeah, it was. It was and I was like 20 when I went there

and I remember and I was like so shy that unless I was like thrown into something it was really hard for like to meet people. And also you're doing drama there which let's be honest sounds like it's what you wanted to do. That's it. I wonder if the English degree. Yeah. It was a little bit oh I can't say I want to be a performer

maybe the English degree is a little bit of protection. I still wanted to go to drop. Like I still wanted to do it. But then I was like, I have to fund living somewhere. Then I can get a student loan and then I can work. And then that's a way to live in London. And then I remember like on my first week, like talking to a girl and I said I was 20. And she said, oh my God, you're like a mature student.

And I'm like, oh, my God. I'm so, oh, this is so embarrassing. Do you know, I'm going to hang out with these 18 year olds. No, I do remember at university there was a girl. And I remember someone saying, oh, my God. Have you heard? She's 22. And we were shocked. Like we said, oh, we can't really talk to her.

Like, it was like something was wrong with her or something. It was like, you heard she's, you know. Yeah. And I never wanted to go to university. It was like, I felt like such a failure going next. I was like, I want to do, like I want to be doing it. I don't want to be waiting my time. But now in hindsight, I'm actually really, I don't know if I'm glad I did it.

I'm glad that there were really good things that it taught me how to write, I think. Like, I was going to sit down and focus and read. Yeah, yeah. No, because I genuinely think that about myself, I think, oh, was it worth that I could have done that? Yeah. Probably a little bit smarter. Not saying that anyone who didn't go to university isn't smart, I just mean for me personally, I think it's made me a bit more. I think it probably, I don't know if you felt that, but I felt doing a degree like English, it's over that three years, you learn, what you get beaten out of you a bit is the sense that you're right.

Yeah. Because you're being challenged a lot more constantly. It's like, oh, I thought this. no, that's naive, that's wrong. Yeah. So, I don't know. Some people don't feel they need it, but I think I benefited from it. Yeah, and I think it was good for me to like, write, like, focus and sit down.

And, like, I kind of learned how to do that a bit, but I wouldn't really go to the lectures because I live so far away. And you could do it on, you're just reading. But it was, oh, God, it was an absolute, it was just such a bleak time. I just felt like such a failure, like to come back from New York and, like not get into like I still couldn't get into like I still had tried to get into a London drama school again and then I couldn't then I was at university and I just felt like such a loser um but yeah but it's weird that isn't it because you're not to everyone else they're thinking oh she's

doing really well but actually it's when you feel you know in your heart of heart what you feel what you feel comfortable doing and you'd had a taste of that so performing yeah that was it and I and I loved it but I just knew that I like like I just couldn't sustain it. It was like I'd finish and then like how would I if I was to fit the air, I don't know, but yeah, I felt like I remember my mom like she was so sweet but she once had this dinner party because at the farm. Yeah and she got like all her friends to like talk about times that they had been rejected and I think like you were like to make you feel better. Reject party. Yeah, the rejet party and I think she tried to do it so sadly but it was like to try and make me feel like this. less of a loose, like it was so sweet in hindsight. Like, but it's so true.

Like, all those things just make you, and that's what's made me be able to do comedy is that I just got rejected so much and I was so embarrassing and I was such like a failure that you're just like, you bomb on stage and you're like, oh, that's just what you have to keep doing. And have you also done what I call shitty jobs, basically? Yeah, yeah.

So have I. Yeah. And I think, I know people say, oh, people say it's character building. You don't need to do that. you know, people just, but I do believe it's helpful because whenever I'm coming around to yours today, getting made, by the way, very nice coffee, which I've drunk all of, can I show you? Do you know what I mean? I'm sitting in this incredible woman who I think is brilliant and I admire with her mental dog.

I'm having the loveliest morning that I pay to do this. So then I look back to when I was having to work in the Gap saying, hi, welcome to Gap. And that's a great job, by the way, but it's just that didn't suit me. So I don't know if you can appreciate what you're doing unless you've done jobs, which didn't work for you. I completely agree. I have friends that do comedy that have never, that started it after they graduated, and they just kind of became professional and they didn't need to. And then I started stand up like right after I finished uni, but there was like, I think for five years,

I think I was like doing a day job and doing stand-up. And it's just like you're so exhausted because you, like, some nights I'd be doing my day job and then you'd get a bus to Liverpool and then you'd do a show in Liverpool get the mugger bus back get two hours sleep and then go to work and just like do a job

that I would be so bad at and they do recommend working for the NHS because I think they can't fire you like they just couldn't they just couldn't get rid of me I think they would just they'd have so many she was so sweet my boss and she'd bring me into her room

and she'd be like is there anything we can do to make this easier for you and to make you kind of be able to what were you doing for the NHS? I was just booking hospital appointments. It wasn't even hard. One day I broke the computer. Was this when you were at King, after Kingston?

No, I worked, yeah, I worked at the theatre and then I did like ushering at the lyric in Hammersmith when I was at university and when I finished. For a year I did this job where I left uni where I am, I typed up the news and then so we, it started. Was that the media agency you work for? I'm obsessed with that job. You had to be, you were underground from 6 a.m. just listening to the news and typing it up. Obviously we got replaced by robots. the year after I left and but it was it was so bleak because you were just listening to the bad news over like my set at the time was so dark because I was just listening to stories about

women getting murdered like like doing every single for seven hours every day and then um yeah so that was I was doing that job when I started stand up and then you started stand up did you just how did you first do stand up you just did you just thought one day I'm going to give this a go my parents just said it and I just I just I just did it and they like just do it and they like just do it don't tell anyone and that's also advice I would give people because I think some those people say I'm going to do stand up and then all their friends and family come and watch and I think you just you have to keep it like really under the radar for a long time but I was such a mess because I was doing this job and then I was doing stand up at night and I just would be so

wired from the stand up that I just couldn't sleep from the adrenaline and then I'd have to be up at five to go to my day to the murdered women yeah to listen to the murdered women I like my kidneys hurt like I just there were parts of me that I'd never even felt before that I just felt because I was so tired. But I did that for a year and then my friend got me a job working at its hospital in Camden Booking Hospital appointments and that was a much better fit. And when did you really, with stand up? Because I know you were like, you know, you got, there was like a buzz about you and you

were nominated for a lot of awards and all that kind of stuff. And did that just happen gradually just through doing gigs? you started to get more kind of recognised, you know? Yeah, no, it was crazy. Like, in the first six months of comedy, I kind of won all these competitions, and it was like a big surprise, but then this is the thing with me.

I think because they were like, at the time, they were like, this is amazing. We've got a woman that is like, that's won these competitions, this is great. So then we'll put her into the clubs, and so they'd put me in, like, the midnight spot of the clubs. And then I was just like a confused, lost-looking 23-year-old.

Like once I went to a gig and I was taking Mr. Friend the other day. And I turned up and they like ushered me into this meeting. And then I was just like sat in the meeting. And then it was like a health and safety meeting. And I was like, that's weird. And then it finished. They gave me a t-shirt and I realized they'd thought I was want to be ushers. Like because I just look so much like not like a stand-up in any way.

They were like, why did you stay for the meeting? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So I was just in these shows where I just, it would just be these men that were all. the same talking about similar life experiences and then I'd bumble on stage and I just like I was just like my first show my director um Stuart bless him he said Harry you did the whole show to the air conditioning unit like I was just like I just would just do basic things I just couldn't seem to

manage and so sometimes it would go so well when I could like somehow connect and like get it right but then sometimes especially on like a rowdy club when everyone's out for a night out and then I'm talking about these jokes about, like, rape statistics and stuff, because I've been listening to the news so much. I've never been so well informed, but it was really, like, quite dark and it's not what people want on a night out. And then I also, there was a period where some comics won't let me live this down, where I wore a backpack on stage, because I would sway so much with this kind of nervous energy that I realized if I wore a backpack, it would like kind of, um, oh, it grounds you, doesn't it? It would ground me. And also, no one could steal your stuff. like while you were on stage.

But then everyone would be like, I mean like taking it to an extreme. Don't cry for me, Argentina. Sorry, she's got a backpack on because she doesn't trust. But then to have a green room. You'd just be in a, you'd be in some basement somewhere. We'd be, I'd have to leave your stuff at the back. And then you'd be like, oh, God, that's got everything I needed it.

And then people, like, since of, like, comics, like, Josh Whedickham is like, you're the backpack comedian. I can't believe that. Is that what you became known now? Yeah, the backpack comedian, which is really embarrassing. So it was so like up and down for so many years where sometimes it would go great. And then I wouldn't know why it had gone great. And then sometimes it would go really badly and I wouldn't know how to stop that.

And so it just... Well, I remember I first heard about you because Catherine and Ryan, who is fabulous. She's a mutual friend of us. We met through Catherine. I think a couple of her passes. You've been there with your daughter. And I remember thinking, oh, I like her. I like friends, steal her.

And then I first heard about you, I think you were doing a show with your ex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was, was it about you getting married or something? Because he's a comic, your ex, we should say, Bobby. And how did that come about? It was so random. It was so random. We were getting married and then we were you quite young when you met.

Yeah, I met Bobby when I was like 24, I think. That is pretty young, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, in hindsight. And we were doing this podcast with this producer, Stu Richards, and he was like, oh, you guys are just like, we just got engaged. And he was like, oh, it's really funny when you're, like, arguing. Because me and Bobby are so different. Like, we're so similar in some ways, but in otherwise we're, like, complete opposite people.

And so we'd just be in these kind of, like, bickering all the time. And he was like, it's really funny when you do this. Like, and then we, like, made this, like, little taster. of us planning a wedding and like I like Bobby's from Canada and my family's like quite traditional and I don't think Bobby's ever been to a wedding like I genuinely like probably had no idea like anything to do with my angel I know it's a bit scary you're protecting everybody thank goodness you thank goodness I know thank you for helping us

thank you for your service he's a different doc I really hope you love part one of this week's Walking the Dog. If you want to hear the second part of our chat, it'll be out on Thursday, so whatever you do, don't miss it. And remember to subscribe so you can join us on our walks every week.