Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Jake Lambert (Part Two)

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

We’re back in Battersea Park with the brilliant comedian Jake Lambert. We find out how Jake went from tweeting one-liners while he was working as a temp to becoming an internationally touring stand-up comedian. We also discuss some of Jake’s hilarious videos which have racked up over 500 million view on social media. From basic instagram captions, to angry drivers… Jake has a talent for storytelling which has earned him a devoted fanbase. Jake is on tour with his show The Sunshine Kid - you can find dates and buy your tickets at jakelambertcomedy.comFollow @jakelambertcomedy on InstagramYou can listen to Jake’s podcast Save It For The Podcast - which he co-hosts with George Lewis - on all podcast platforms! Follow Emily: Instagram - @emilyrebeccadeanX - @divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Faye LawrenceMusic: Rich Jarman Artwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Part 2 of Walking the Dog with the fabulous comic Jake Lambert. Do go back and listen to Part 1 if you haven't already and do catch Jake on tour in his show The Sunshine Kid because this man is so hilarious live. You can get your tickets at jakelambutcom. I'd also love it if you gave us a like and a follow so you can catch us every week. Here's Jake and Ray Reh.

How did you first start professionally becoming a stand-up then? Because were you working? I presumably were gigging and then. oh this is going well, I'm going to have to make a choice at some point. What were you doing at the time when you got an agent and decided to do it full time? So it was, I came back from Canada and then around that time I started, I got Twitter and I started writing jokes and then I was just doing, um, what, temp work while I figured out what I was going to do?

What temp work was it? Oh, it was like, there was this one company. There's a bubble. A little girl's got, they've blown. bubbles oh hello you got bubbles that a doggy say hello come on Ray you lead the way lead Jake come on I've just tried to do I talked to him for the first time then I didn't go very well I didn't you could tell I didn't mean it come on though no authority there whatsoever come on Ray follow Jake oh he is actually doing it

come on them follow Jake please where's Jake gone there he is follow Jake, please. It's quite obedient, Jake, really. I love they say please to the dog. That's so nice. Oh, I think you'd approve Jake Lamper, because that's quite you, isn't it? It's very nice. You've inspired me to clean up my act a bit. Because it's quite classy, I find. Yeah, and it does mean, certainly when you do swear, people know you really mean it.

If you hold back and then you let rip, they go, whoa, Emily's lost it. Emily means this. Yeah. Oh, it's the way for one. There you go. I tell you what I don't do. I really don't. and swearing correspondence, like email or text or...

No. And I think that might be a generational. A swear word would be quite something. You know how people do? They might say something like, oh, you know, no fucking idea how long this is going to take or something. Just casually like that. Whereas I never... I generally don't ever send aggressive or mean texts.

That's one thing I've never done. Yeah, just write out in drafts just for therapy and then delete it and write the actual text. I would be straight with someone. during a conversation, but I think the problem with that is I never think you're gonna look back on those and think I'm so glad I sent that abusive text. Yeah, you know when people get to that point when they're irritated and it works, works up,

and you both end up shaking with sort of like this, and then later, and then you just feel so awful afterwards, you go, oh, blime, I'm never gonna get over that. And then you go, oh no, I just never, I never like seen it, I'm always like, there's no way you're not gonna regret this. Well, that's why you always have to wait 24 hours because to decide, distinguish whether it's your chimp brain or your hard drive.

Oh. And nine times out of ten, it's your chimp brain. Right. And my rule is, if you feel okay about it in 24, possibly even sometimes I give it 48, if you're still angry about it, there's a, there's a possibility you might have a just reason for being crossed. Oh, that's, we're learning so much. You kind of go, oh, how embarrassed. I'm so glad I didn't say anything. Yes. Yeah.

sleeping on stuff does work. It does. I've found that recently because I thought the problem was it would always keep you up at night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then melatonin helps and then you actually sleep and get to think about it. But I say to myself, I'm going to think about this tomorrow. But right now, these real housewives of London won't watch themselves. So you were telling me about the job, so you were doing tent work.

Oh, yeah, just boring. And it was to do with end up what I did in Canada, of just like working in an office. I was editing videos for companies and then I was tweeting jokes and then some comedians would message me and ask if they could buy the jokes off me. And I was like, well, why don't I just tell these myself then?

And then I thought, if you sell a joke once, you can only sell it once, but if you keep it as your own and tell it, you can get paid to tell it every night. So I thought, I'll just do it myself. And then I went on stage and I wanted to and then I realized I was quite silly in that I was writing

these one-liners. And this was for other comics? No, this was just for Twitter. For Twitter. And then I wanted to do stand-up, but I'd never thought about putting the two together. Then I thought, oh yeah, why don't I just tell these on stage? Then at least I get over that bit. And then I went on stage and told them, and it worked.

And then I just kept going. And then suddenly I did something on the BBC, and then suddenly I had an agent. And then it was doing these gigs. And then... I'm more than agent. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I was very lucky there.

One of my all-time faves. agent. Oh, that's very nice. Yeah, flow's amazing. She looks after me and I had no idea what was going on. I remember they first started giving me gigs and they would put the gig and the fee for the gig next to it, but they hadn't officially signed me yet. So at one point, after about four or five months, she was like, because she said, we'll just send you out for a year. So there's no pressure that you're on new act and then we'll just help you. But after about six months, four or five months, I think it was. she basically messes me and said, have you been invoicing for these gigs?

I said, I didn't know you were paying me. I thought you were telling me that's what I would earn when you signed me. So I was like, oh, I've got money. I didn't have to work. I can do this. This is my job. I didn't realize this was my job. So she didn't know I was working in an office

and then I was like driving to Derby in the evening. But that's a really good sign, isn't it? In some ways, what a great sign that that's the right job for you is that you would do it. I would do it for free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's how poor my business mind is. Close like, this one's great. She did have an issue when about a year after that,

she asked me if I'd done my tax return. And I said, I had no idea what she was talking about. And so she turned like green and took me up to her accounts. And then I went into the accounts department. And I went, I'm so, so I've got to talk to you about boring stuff like tax. And they were like, that's literally our job. That's our lives. I'm sorry.

and then they were so nice the tax people. I called them up and the guy I got, he was saying to me, I can see that you've done, yes, you haven't paid any tax and yes, you should have. But it's because you're a fool. Yeah, he really saw that that was just me.

So he said, there was a £100 fine. He said, but I won't do anything more than that because clearly I see what's happened here. They were so nice to me. And then I just sort of went from one thing to the other. Then suddenly I was doing tour support for acts and then I was on tour with them.

And then it was, what happened was about two and a bit years ago, January, February, 2023, I was, I was supposed to be doing some gigs in Cardiff. And I was ill, so I had to cancel the gig. And then someone tweeted me saying, oh, it was pretty poor form to say you want to not turn up. And I was like, I don't think anybody would care if I was on or not. I didn't know what, I was like, I'm so sorry,

I had no idea what you were talking about. And then I realised, I was like, I do have some fans. And so, because I was quite ill for about a month, I started writing videos so I could still perform from home and put them out. And that's what started the whole content thing. And then one video just did really well, so I'm better do one next week. And I just kept doing it and kept doing it.

And they've done phenomenally. And then I've got to talk. And they're so brilliant. I mean, everyone's got their favourites. But you're one of the few people. I watch your, I don't know if you use them, various platforms, but I watch them on Instagram. Yeah, that's my main one. That's the one I like.

And you just, and I think, oh, and it's quite, it was quite so old as long as I was like, oh, I've discovered a brilliant comic here. And I used to see them come up and I was like, oh, it's got 600,000 likes already. Right, yeah. You, like 72 people that you know follow this people are, oh, okay, it's not some up and coming. It's quite established, successful comic. It's odd.

It's a bit odd like that, yeah, because you never know who's, who's heard of you and who's, but a bit like that, you know. Yeah. It would be that load of your friends do know me, but you, someone doesn't. I'm a complete blank spot to some people. But you do, I love, you particularly do brilliant content around, I suppose, the cliches of holiday behaviour. Yeah, the photo captions was the big one. That was a holiday in Greece last year and I just thought, what if I spent too much of this holiday working?

And then I posted out the last day, but it was the one that really resonated. It was there, that really took off. And then that I noticed. And it was things like, I mean, I don't want you to have to quote all the material, but it was just so brilliant because as soon as you, it's this sort of, you know, it's not you. It's a sort of slightly ridiculous ramped up idea of you. Yeah.

And you're this very pleased with himself guy on holiday with the showtime going, just posted a caption here, just posted a photo and said, it's five o'clock somewhere. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Oh, I see a lot. I just thought, yeah. And it's a, be rude not to. Just posted a photo saying Monday morning commute.

That's it, this week's office. Just posing a picture of the beach and just put this week's office. Posted a picture of the scene. Just put not a bad view. And he's like, he can't believe it. He's just can't believe it stuff. And it's the most boring basic captions that everybody does. He's like, just posted a photo of the holiday.

Just put, never coming home. Yeah, I know I'm coming home. I'm just saying it. And then I end up doing that Christmas one. And you get to do like the, um, the, the, the Valentine's ones or the couples ones, you know, night out with this one or my partner in crime. For the listener, Emily's heaving. Oh, night out with this one. You know, my gosh, it's the ring.

Boy done good. Oh, boy done good is great. When they bought a house, we did a thing. Oh, God. Why did they do it? It's so basic. And I'd never like to use the word, but it's so basic. It's so funny. Do they think that, is it that they cannot possibly think, they can't think of anything?

I'm going through so many thoughts here trying to. The fun thing is they can't think of anything so they've gone for the one thing. But now I've made it that I'm the only one who can get away with them. So I don't have to think of any caption, original captions now. When I go on it or anything, I can just put that. And everyone's like, oh my God, that's great. And I'm like, I don't do any, I don't have to come up with anything clever. I can just mock myself. Do you know what I think it is? I'm obsessed by this idea of, the first thought as opposed to your third or fourth thought. Yes. So I think sometimes, and look, I sometimes admire people like that because I am an

overthinker. So I would probably spend hours trying to think up the right caption that struck the right note of being a bit sardonic and sufficiently knowing without. And maybe you could argue, well, they've just gone and posted, you know, drinks with this, night out with this one. Yeah. And they've done it. They've posted their content.

I would honestly rather, I cannot think, I'd rather have my stomach garrotted than put night out with this one. But I think what it is, is they really want everyone, they need everyone to know exactly what they're up to at that moment. So their main thing is, what I want to do is I want to post a photo of you to let everyone know that we're out together.

That's what they want to do. But they... They were your fans. Right. Well, they did... What was in about, they gave it that man that really excited to see you. Right.

And then you were going, and when I post my question. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm doing, I mean, it's like we've just met and I'm going. He thinks I'm a friend. Oh, my God. And that you just talk about yourself to me. Oh, my God.

He said, you know, I'll tell you exactly what you're saying now. I really used to like that guy. Oh, don't. That poor woman. Oh, my God. He was just lecturing her about his work. I post these videos, honestly. And I write stuff like, not a bad view.

Not with this one. He's like, oh, God. He really does do that all the time then. He performs them in the street. live in parks. Oh my God. He just goes up to people. Do you want to know how to do what I do?

Oh my God. He's even got a producer following him around, recording the whole thing. That's a good fan to have. I'd like that demographic. See, that's why I need to be more aware that I might be recognised because I can't just be performing my material

in a middle of a park. But that stuff that you do, there's a couple of others. There's a brilliant one you do, which is about the difference between people when they're, when they're pedestrians and when they're driving. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's how you have the pedestrian going, sorry, sorry, sorry, oh, excuse me, oh, I'm so sorry, oh, my mistake. And then you cut to the driver, go, UF, me, we're going to your chest, etc, etc. Yeah. And I thought that was a really good example of how, when comedy is brilliant, how it's almost a bit profound, that actually, I looked at that and I thought, well, that's so, I've never actually thought of that, and how it was almost a metaphor for social media.

that in a car you've got anonymity. Right, yes. And actually, it's having to confront other human beings. Yeah. That holds you to account for your behaviour. Yes, exactly that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a similar behaviour with the way people post on social media

and the way they are then in real. It's a similar thing where people just feel like they're hidden behind this. Yeah. And it's the difference what people will do. It's why if there's like an anonymous TikTok account or Instagram account, They can say anything they want. Yeah. Because they're angry at other things, but they'll take out on you.

But that was really interesting to me that you'd come to that conclusion. And I don't know whether that was just something you thought, oh, I've noticed this. And it's funny and it would be funny to do a video. But how, to me, it was just, it was funny, but it was also, well, with all your captions, I think that. I think there's one you do about, it's like the trajectory of a relationship. hip through Instagram captions. Yeah. And it starts off with, you know, boy done good, getting married or drinks out with this one.

Yeah. And spoiler alert ends up with... They retire and he later passes away. Yeah. And it was like the first 10 minutes of off or something. People did say that. It was so nice. Did they?

Yeah. What an insane compliment. Yeah. But it was exactly that. People were saying, because it went for a whole journey. I just went, I'll go through the start of the relationship where somebody posts an Instagram story, but you can see there's two drinks. So I'm like, oh, I think maybe she's met someone. And then it's not out this one, it becomes my partner in crime. Then they're on holiday,

saying it's five o'clock somewhere, then it's, we did a thing, then they're having a baby, then they're getting married and the baby's first day at school. This, all, everything happened, and it was just sort of the way they did it through captions. But what I will say, going back to the driving one, is that what you saw would have been the second version of that, because I actually posted one earlier that day and people went there wasn't enough swearing in it. So I had to go and do the swearing. I was going to say you for in that one.

But I beeped it all out. So I'm going to, and it's beep. Because people were like, no, you weren't angry enough in the car. You need to swear. So I was like, okay, I'm going to have to go back and refilm this. So I had to do. So they both exist, the original one. And then the one where I start swearing for people.

And that was the one that did so much better. So I was like, oh, okay, yeah, I'm going to have to let rip. Do you know, Ray stops me swearing? Oh, does he? Do you don't want to swear around? him in case he picks it up. I can't explain but there's just something I feel a bit horrible when I'm aggressive in front of him. Oh yeah because he's so innocent. He's such a gent isn't he? Yeah. There's a fundamental decency to him. Yeah there is yeah.

I feel like he's so innocent that he doesn't deserve to see that that exists in the world. Yeah. Yeah because he is he's just so like he's so I um I wish he was a part of I think we'd be good friends. I'd love to see what he was like as a person. I really think you would. Yeah. He reminds me of you. It'd be great to know.

Because he's inherently comic and he's got funny though. He has. He's got great timing. But he's not sort of, he's respectful of people's space. Yeah, yeah. Very much. I always refer to it as the energy of Lock the Week panelist, that's certain type of person that you get with certain dogs.

They're like, ah! Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a quiet one that comes on and then blows everyone away. Yes, yes, exactly that. By his time. He's so respectful of space and just, he'll just stop and go, oh, we stop. If we stop, now he stopped.

If we take two steps, he was with us straight away. That's amazing. Look, Jake, son. You've done so well there. That's really made my day, you know. Isn't that lovely? I really treated having a dog. I took it very seriously.

And I was never like, oh, I'll just leave him to get on with it. I thought, no, this is a job and you have to actually. I want him to have a nice alive. I want him to greet people and them to think, what a lovely dog. Yeah. And everyone has for the last hour. I'm sorry, everyone's been like blown away by him. Because they see him and then he's so beautiful.

And then they're like, oh my God, look at him. He's like, that's crazy. He will just, as soon as we stop, he's. He's like, yeah, of course, we're doing that then. What a friend. Oh, Jay, what a friend you are. I really wish you would be my friend. We could be friends.

Do you think we could be? Yeah, it's fun, isn't it? Because you don't really make that official in life. No, I've tried it before. And it doesn't always work. And sometimes I really get overwhelmed by a feeling that I like someone. And I think, I'd really like to be your friend. But it's a weird thing.

We have it with dating, but not with platonic friendship. Yeah. I remember Catherine Ryan. I met her at Jimmy Carr's party. and I've got such a good sense around her and she's really making me laugh and I said, I really quite like to be your friend and she went, okay

now we're really close mates. That's great. And because it had worked with Catherine I tried it with Greg Davis on this podcast. Right. Never heard from him again. I'm teasing by the way,

he's lovely, but do you know what I mean? But yeah, but I would love to be your friend. Oh, I'm coming here all. That would be so nice. And you know, I really think you like Raymond. Oh, I love Raymond. I want to discuss your tour. Oh, yeah.

Because this is ongoing at the moment, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. So it started March last year, and it's going... We're just about to announce some Canadian dates in December. It's probably the worst time to go to Canada, I imagine. Minus 28. But it's nice because I'm returning back to... I live there.

Now I'm getting to go back to Calgary on a tour. And I never would have dreamed of that. So, yeah, the tour... starts again this month and then goes through till November and then December in Canada then I think that's when I'll stop although we are now working on the American visa

so I'm filming it in November at the comedy store whether I put it out of Christmas will decide on whether I take it to America or not otherwise they would have already seen it people are looking at the dog yeah I think they look at you to be honest okay in that case I shouldn't have looked back so much I know it

But that's very sweet that you thought they were looking at the dog. You're quite self-deprecating, aren't you? Maybe. I don't know. It's a difficult one to answer that. Because if you say yes, that's most. There's no more self-deprecating than me. I don't know if that's justified it or arguing it.

It's the definition of the impossible question. So, and this is called, is it the Sunshine Kids? I love that name. Oh, thank you. What does it mean? Well, really there was comedians that I liked. At the time, there was John Mullaney, the American comedian, he had a show called The Comeback Kid.

Oh, yeah. And then there was Nate Bargazzi had the Tennessee kid. And I was like, oh, I've quite like one. But I thought, oh, it's kind of optimistic. It's a bit sort of upbeat. I guess I, maybe I am or the comedy. So I just thought, that's a nice welcoming one. So it became that.

So that's it really. It doesn't really mean anything. It doesn't come up in the show. I like it. I just hopefully you'd see that and go, I think I get an idea of what this might be. And it fit, I'm so really sorry, but I'm going to move you away from here.

Yeah. I'll tell you why. Because there are some, what I call Rose All Day Mums. Oh, okay. Oh, yes. What are they called? Rose A All Day Males.

That's a very Instagram caption. Yes, it is. Yeah, I've not heard that one. Yeah, Rose A All Day. Yeah, good. They love a Rose A, the Instagram caption is, don't they? Well, you're so right, because they are,

When people say about what would be like the worst type of audience, it would be like a stag do. And I'm like, no, no, no, it won't be a stag do. It would be women with a bottle of rosé. Because especially if it's me, if it's a stag do, then it's a clear angle that I'm clearly the beta, they're the alphas and I can sort of say anything to them. But you can't say it to just a load of like,

mum's out having a good time. They're even harder to deal with. Right, let's go back to the cafe now. So let him walk or does he want this still? He looks. I hope his spine. works. I love you so dearly.

He's so tired, look. Do you like Jake? I want to let you sleep in the car. He's amazing. Do you like him, Jake? Oh, yeah. I felt like he's really one your heart. Oh, I didn't know how it's going to be

because I was like, oh no, like, I never know how to be around dogs. And then what if me and me and Raymond are awkward around each other, then it puts you off me. And then I was like, oh, this could be awkward, but it's been amazing. And it's just so lovely. isn't it? But then it is you, isn't it? He's been around you, so it's all he's known.

Oh, that's so kind of you. Well, do you know, I think he came into my life at a difficult time, if I'm honest, and because I, you know, I'd lost my family and stuff, and it was tough. And so I know this sounds weird, but I think the great thing about dogs, and I think cats are like this to a certain degree,

is when they show up, it's a bit like, what do you need me to be? Just tell me and I'll be that. Oh, yes. So, do you know what to me? And I think he was like, oh, this is, she's a bit sad. It's not going to be very helpful if I'm wandering around going, I am, what I am, those sort of dogs.

So he was, he was like, no, you need a quiet little stress-free friend. Yeah, you just need presents. You need the Dalai Lama. It is, because he's, he's so calm and calm. in. Is there a fire at the pear tree cafe? It looks like it's about to kick off, isn't it? What is that about? Oh, it's a barbecue. Barbecue in the kitchen. It's just like they got an inside barbecue. Oh, I'd love very to meet Richard Parker. I think they'd got on very well.

Richard Parker's been friends with dogs in the past. Really? Yeah. And I think this would, this would go down very well. This friendship, because there's, um... Is that a euphemism for Richard Parker's been around a bit? Oh no, he's very innocent. Is he? He's very innocent. I don't like to think of animals having sex lives. It really upsets me.

Well, when people find it funny, then when the dog gets funny and starts going at your leg and I'm like, I don't like this. I don't want to see that. That's too human. I don't want to see a dog doing anything like that, thank you. I couldn't have a dog that humped. Oh, it happened to be the other day with someone's dog

and they were like, oh, sorry, and I'm like, oh God, no, this is, what does it? Does it mean he fancies me? What does he see me as? I thought we were just friends. I know. I need a layer of, I need to be in denial about those urges.

I felt like what it would it be like to be a woman who's got like a male best friend and then he sort of takes it to phone and you go, oh okay, right, here we go, I knew this was coming. I got to feel that experience. No, I've completely de-sexed Ray. He's asexed Ray. He's completely asexual. That's good, yeah. That's how I like it. But he is, he's so, he's, but he's a...

I love it. It feels very intimate when you come in to give him a kiss and I'm holding it. Sorry. I don't know where to look when it's happening. I was looking down the first time, but I was like, this is like we're getting a family photo. Jake Lambert, I can't tell you how much I've loved this walk with you. Oh, that's so nice.

It's been so lovely. Have you enjoyed it? Yeah. Have we ever do it again? Can I ask you all the questions? Yeah. Then I feel like the balance is right. I've got so many.

Well, why don't we meet up with Raymond? Yeah. And I can tell you all about me. Yeah. When's the 100th episode? So is that what happens when you get, when you become the interviewer? No one wants to hear that. No one wants to hear this brought soul tale.

Oh, so we're just friends. Yeah, we're just friends. Yeah, we're just, great. Okay with you. Yeah. It's fabulous. Oh, wow. Jake, it's been fantastic.

What a moment for a white van to pull up. Is this this how you leave? Straight in the back of a white van and off. It's a bit sinister. It's like AC12 on the ride to take us away. It's a nice 69 callback with a number plate from Frank Stoke. Yeah. I love that.

And here's a man with a papoosa and a Labrador. A dog with a dog with three sticks in its mouth. There's a man with a papoose and a Labrador. We've reached Peak Battersea. I'm loving it. Bye bye, Jake Lambert. And will you give my love to Richard Parker? Oh, of course.

From both of you. I feel like we've done so well and we don't know how to end this podcast. Is that what's happening here? I'll tell you how we'll end it. Will you say goodbye to Ray? Hi, Raymond. Bye.

Love it. I really hope you enjoyed that episode of Walking the Dog. We'd love it if you subscribed. And do join us next time on Walking the Dog wherever you get your podcasts.