Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Katherine Ryan

Episode Date: May 5, 2017

This week on Walking the Dog Emily goes out for a stroll with comic Katherine Ryan and her dogs Dolly, Megan and Manny. They talk about dating, female role models and a lovely doggy coincidence in their lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Megan? Yeah. What's she doing? Eating poo! Oh, don't eat poo, darling. Disgusting. Hi, welcome to Walking the Dog with Emily Dean. As always, I would really love it if you could rate and review and subscribe on iTunes. It's brilliant getting all your feedback on the show, so if you have stuff to say, don't keep it to yourself.

This week I comment out with the comedian Catherine Ryan and had three dogs, Dolly the Tibetan Spaniel, Mani the Yorkei, and Megan the Shih Tzu. They all have great hair. They all stop me in the street, gorgeous. and they're all really entertaining, just like their owner. The only difference is she doesn't poop on the carpet. I mean, not when I was there. Look, as far as I know, I'll just play it. I'm Emily Dean, and I'm with the very lovely Catherine Ryan,

who's got her Canada Goose Parker on today, and she says she had no makeup, but she still looks hot, which is slightly annoying. That's true about me. You want to tell people in a podcast that they'll have to believe you. And we've got your three lovely dogs. I didn't know I was going to get three today, so can you talk me through them?

Well, I didn't know I was going to get three either. Do you want to take some dogs? Oh, can I take a dog? Yeah, which one do you like? So there's a little, I'm going to talk these, because people obviously can't see these fabulous dogs, but you've got three. There's a little black and white one.

Let's start with him. That's a little girl, and her name is Megan. Megan. She's the newest one, and she's a 10-month-old teacup t-cup chit-su. She is absolutely tiny. I love her, and she's so sweet. She's like a little, like a lion, like a bear cross with a kitten. That's a good thing to be.

People think she's a cat. And there's another fabulous dog in what looks like a Chanel coat of some sort. And a pink lead. He's a boy. Oh, a boy. This is your local park. Yeah, have you ever been here? Do you know, I haven't?

And I'm a local, because we're in the same manner. It has to be said. Girls in the hood. That's Manny. He's a teacup yorky. He's doing a wee as we speak. Oh, I think he's doing poo, actually. Sorry.

Sorry for the podcast. But a teacup yorky is a lot safer because they're naturally smaller than Shihusus. I got him in Wolverhampton. There's been a reaction to the poo. There we go. No, he just does that. He gets really excited. It's like tiny poos anyway.

And then you have a third one. This is a Pomeranian, right? No, everybody thinks Dolly's a Pomeranian. She's actually a very rare Tibetan spaniel. Oh, wow. She's a Buddhist. She's from Tibet. She's gorgeous.

Via Lincolnshire. Yeah. And she's cool. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Very gorgeous, aren't me? Oh. Sorry, she follows.

interested in your trainers, I think. And now the bin. I have to watch them because they love people, but they don't like big dogs. Yeah, I was going to say, but don't you find with small dogs? I think this is the same with people. Small dogs tend to sort of yap and be quite defensive

at bigger people. Sometimes to their own cost. What's going on here, Catherine? She's so dumb. So she's the littlest one, so she'll stop and smell things. But also, I usually let them off the lead by now if you're okay with that.

Yeah. And then I'm, have to just vigil and then we just have to keep an eye on them watch yeah for big dogs this is like dropping your kids at the playground isn't it no I know I know this is like they've gone on you know the bit when they go on the slide we can't take that lead off because that's actually a rabbit harness because she's so small is that right it doesn't come off you just have to drop it so did you have you always had dogs and your family like when you grew up in Canada didn't you yeah so we didn't um live on a farm or anything though we lived in a smaller town and we had a garden everybody in Canada has at least a garden

for dogs and we had a Cocker Spaniel and that was it just the one dog and then when i lived on my own for uni i moved out of that town as fast as i could i went to toronto have you been yeah i haven't but i've heard very good things it's it's okay people from toronto think they're pretty cool but really they're just bankers who live in toronto right a city that's unlivable six months of the year because of how cold it is the t dot drake made it cool i guess when he called it the I went to uni there and that was a time in the early 2000s

when Paris Hilton was really cool Kim Kardashian was still cleaning her closet on her knees for a living and Paris Hilton had all these little dogs and I... Yes, she did, she had a chihuahua was didn't she, yeah. Tinkerbell? Tinkerbell, yeah. I know. Tinkerbell's dead now of course. Did Tinkerbell die? Well, they don't outlive us sadly. They don't, I mean I don't want to put it down

on this podcast while we're looking at your dogs. Yeah. But that's what makes me sad, Catherine, because I really, really want to get a dog, which is why I'm doing this podcast. Oh, okay. Because I'm sort of auditioning dogs, to be honest. That's a smart idea.

Yeah, we're like a one-light stand. Yeah. And we'll see how it goes. But I worry that they die, and then I'll get really sad. Well, yeah, and I mean, I think the only thing that makes certain grown men cry in my personal experience is when they talk about their dead dogs,

Stuart Francis, who's a wonderful, a Canadian comedian told me the story of when he had to put down his elderly dog. And he walked him there because he loved a walk. And then he walked home just holding the lead. And I mean, that would break anyone. Oh. And I lost a dog. It's broken me.

I know. I'm like, gosh, just a big man telling that story. Yeah, right? See, that's the kind of dog they would hate. See, that big black lab? Yeah, look at that big black dog. But that lady knows that. That lady goes, uh-oh.

She's sensible. She's thinking this isn't going to be a match. She thinks jumpers. Three tiny, tiny, obnoxious dogs. I'm gonna get away from that. Yeah, but they're my spirit animals. I don't know if that noise is good. I know the noise isn't great.

The noise, it just adds to the ambience. And look, at least people know we're not in a studio. What's she doing? Eating poo. Oh, don't eat poo, darling. Disgusting. You see, I don't know you very well. I met you, we've sort of orbited each other

because we're kind of in the same social sphere. We're in the Venn diagram, aren't we? Yeah. I talked to you for the first time, like, properly at Jimmy Cars recently. recently. And he had this slightly surreal games night where we had to play a game called Wehrwolf. Mafia. Mafia, they called it, which is essentially a sophisticated form of wink murder. It is. Although is it that sophisticated, because everyone just ends up yelling at each other.

Well, I think that was more the drink than the game. You can't blame the gameplay. That was a really fun night. I loved that. But it was interesting because you struck me as very kind of composed. Companced. I'm going to go elegant. Really? Yeah. What do you mean?

Before you met me or on the night? Well, like on the night? Like, you weren't getting down and dirty and scrapping with everyone. Oh, no. I don't think I've ever been involved in a scrap. You're not that kind of person? I don't know.

I'm a really, really relaxed person. And my stand-up is a little bit mean and acerbic, I guess, has been described. So then people think that I'm mean. And then I also talk a lot of, about boys and I'll say, oh, when I went home with this boy or when I did that with the other boy, but I'm just trying to protect the identity of the same guy. But I've like kind of chopped him into 10 guys.

Everyone's terrible at stand-up when they start and that's fine. But I was attracted to comedy that had a point of view and was edgy. And then I didn't really understand what I liked about it because I was from this small town where I didn't have a perspective really on the world. I really was not well educated, so I didn't know enough about history to know when to draw the line, like when things were punching down rather than punching up. So I think my company in the beginning was more shock.

When you say you didn't know enough about history, is that you think because you didn't pay attention at school? Or you just like... I mean, I paid attention. I was really academic when I was younger and then I kind of lost interest, I guess, around like 15 and then I just wanted to be cool and that's when I wanted to be reports saying Catherine is too busy entertaining the class because that seems to

be all comics tend to get that no I think and I hate to generalize about female comedians I think we don't grow up the same way we're never the class clowns we're almost the opposite where the people you'd least expect to go into comedy really why do you think that is because we we grow up a different way Firstly, sorry, that ruffling just by the way is the second or third poo is that's not their poo. It's some but I'll pick up any poo. Oh, you're so nice picking up someone else's poo. I'm pretty nice, yeah.

When I think about my friends who are female comedians, we grew up a little bit outcast, definitely weird. Nobody thought it was funny. I just thought I was mad and I wasn't disruptive or anything, but I had a really specific sense of humor. We were activists before we were a comedian. Sarah Pascoe told me, She had this club against bullying and she wore bullets for earrings. You know, we're just a little bit alternative. And then you grow up with a voice like that and you decide to be funny by accident.

I never wanted to be a comedian. I wanted to be. I used to go around saying I wanted to be an educated housewife. Really? But I also thought that was a funny thing to say. Because I thought working is hard. I want an education. I want to know about the world and have some options.

The dogs aren't allowed in it. that. Okay. It's a crouch and people be like, oh, oh, I've enjoyed when you've talked about working at Hooters. Yeah. I think there was a part of me when I was growing up that secretly fantasized that I could, like, I wanted to be that cool girl in the bar like Coyotey Ugly. Exactly. What was that experience like then? Well, I get that all the time still. People don't make any sense on the internet. Yeah. But they'll say, well, how can you be against things like Sharia law if you worked at Hooters? I'm like, please. How can you be a feminist if you did that?

Well, I was 18 years old, and I was still learning, and I think those are the experiences that make you a feminist. I was learning about the world. We all buy those magazines, and we all want to be liked, and you grow up, whether you like to admit it or not, with this narrative, still that women are valued for being beautiful and soft and happy, and Hooters embodied all of those things.

I was tired of being alternative. I wanted to be liked. Even when I was small, I was so jealous of those girls. You know the girls in school Who don't really have an opinion. I know and they're just like hi Yeah, but Catherine, I'm still jealous of them sometimes. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Just because okay, I want to know what you think of this. There's a friend of mine But he once said to me after a social event and we were talking about that various people had been there And he said yeah, the thing is she's nice that girl, but she's too loud men never marry loud girls And it always kind of haunted me And I think now I'm more inclined

To sort of question that a bit And to be more confident about owning my own space And think, oh, well, screw you if you don't like it Because I don't like that sort of attitude But then on the other hand, it did bother me And I think, is there a certain element of truth to that? I don't know. What do you sort of make of something like that?

Well, I guess that's my cat. Is that your cat? I was about to say, we've just spotted a black and white cat And I thought there was an enemy amidst all ranks. So your cat just wanders around. Catherine, this is basically your zoo. I know. See, this is why I wanted to live here and look.

I have a tennis court. It's not your tennis court. She's such a liar. That's not her tennis school. It's everyone's tennis court. But nobody uses it. Really? I'm going to start using it.

I don't play tennis, but I could practice here because it's quiet and no one would see how terrible I was. Well, that's it. And anyone can go and just play tennis. It's fun. Oh, yes, I'm interested to hear what you have to say about that thing about that thing

about. I've read all these studies because it is click bait to say, right. Women aren't funny. You know, I click on those things. I give the editors what they want. But they'll do studies. And everyone, both genders are your cat is just running around like a little. She's so loud. She teases them because she doesn't have to be on a lead, but she thinks she's a dog. Right. They're all very good friends. What's the cat called? Sarah Pascoe. Really? Yeah, Violet named all the animals. Violet's your daughter who's eight. Who's a human.

She's a human being. Yeah, and she named all the animals and she's obsessed with Sarah Pasco, which I'm really happy about. Who's a really good friend of yours. You know what I love about that? But Violet's given your cat a surname. So the studies say that both genders

want a partner with a sense of humor. But then it's interesting that men in the study largely define a sense of humor as someone who laughs at their jokes, but women will define it as someone who makes them laugh. So, hello. Sorry.

There's a bit of an incident. I think that's a chug. Pugle, yeah. Really cute. See, look, you're an expert. That was a puggle, which is what's a half pug? Half. What's uggle?

Muggle. Muggle. What is an ugle? What's an ogle? What's an ogle? I'm going to ask the producer. Like a... Oh, you're a beagle.

Thank you for that. Well done. That's a bee-ball. So we were saying, you know, men would perceive being a sense of humor is laughing at their jokes. The more loud you are, the more alpha you are, the funnier you are, then I guess the logical next step is the harder you are to make laugh. And that makes you unattractive. And that's the study that I guess I understand the most.

I get it. Everybody wants to be appreciated. I didn't like it when people thought I was strange. Of course, I wanted to meet someone who thought I was funny. But then I gave up and I just said, well, if I get hair-colored skin and skin-colored hair, and I start working at Hooters, and I learned to be nice, because there is that tendency to want to conform. And I looked at all these women that I knew, my friends and girls on TV,

that's when reality TV started just booming. Which you're obsessed by. Yeah. Which I am as well. I still love it. In fact, the first time I met you, I'm saying it's like we're in a relationship. The first time we met, which was not that long ago, Jimmy Carls. But you came in and we immediately started talking about the Kardashians, which I loved.

And I think that's the equivalent of people talking about a football team. It is. You're like, do you know all Courtney Kardashian's kids' names? But there are more layers to the Kardashians. I know. I don't understand people who, because every abusive account on Twitter, you click on it just to check. I always check if the person might be mentally ill. I make that uninformed diagnosis myself based on their timeline.

And then sometimes I'll leave them alone if I go, oh, he's very bad. really sick. But you look, and it's always a football team as their avatar. They have no identity apart from, you know, like Wolverhampton, whatever that team is, wolves probably. Well, it's also that thing, yeah, if it's based sometimes also, I don't want to make presumptions, but it's sometimes based on hatred of other teams, well as a passion to their own team. So that would therefore translate. And of course we're not tiring all football supporters with the same brush before people start getting crossed. Well, no, those who have, you know, varied interests are fine.

Yeah, but it's that thing about I know what I hate rather than I know what I like. You're absolutely right about that. I never thought about it that way. I look, your little neighborhood. So here's your, do you use that dry cleaners? I don't. I wasn't suggesting you led a lifestyle, which would, you'd have to go to the dry cleaners a lot.

I mean, I do. I do have to get the duvet wash now and then. Out of these shops which are used the most. Offlise, dry cleaners, you use. The news agent is really good and there's sort of a battle going on between the news agent on this side and the Lundas on that side because Everybody wants the business which is great to have that healthy competition because they keep just getting better stuff Do you find now because your profile's increasing massively? You know the last few years would you say that's fair? It's good that it's all baby steps though because nobody just arrives some of the people's grandparents know me now and they say

Oh, that gobby one that's how I'm just working described by old northern men. Oh, that gobby one, yeah, yes, sir. Yeah, that probably is the test, isn't it? Once you become known by grandparents, it's the kind of the various generations. Yeah, and it's good to be a little bit cartoony. So all the things that I hated about myself growing up,

the things I wanted to change, you know, have a face that wasn't so long, skin that wasn't so Irish, and just my quirky personality, I guess. I wanted to get rid of all those things. Those are probably the three things that people know about me. They go, oh, yeah, that girl with like a horse kind of face, and she says dirty words. I think what people think is the hot one. Yeah, I'm so hot.

No, you know, it actually happened very recently. Well, the hot nurse. No. I mean, by the time your podcast comes out, hopefully I will have had many surgeries. But someone said to me, I got this job and they said, the channel wanted pretty. And I said to them, no, you need to give Catherine Rapp. And I was like, thank you.

So how is this ex-friend of yours? Well, they styled it out. They were like, oh, because you're pretty and nice. Don't you. You know what? That was a response to that horrible person saying that to you. Yeah, man is like, how dare you? But I don't, I think that's part of your selling point that you're,

you're kind of, I hate to use this word, but you're a bit of a package, aren't you? Well, I think beauty standards are widening, so that's great. We don't all have to be a certain age and look a certain way anymore. anymore though some of the residual stigma still exists but I mean um no I probably have the confidence of a pretty person because I used to be when I was 20 and worked at Hooters you know I got the spray tans I got the memo but I also the more people told me when I was starting out in comedy because that's when all the discrimination happens it happens at the bottom once you get on TV and you

start working with proper people they're all feminists they're all really wonderful I've only had great experiences Or you mean male comics and stuff like that? I mean bookers usually are just our audience members who will come up to you after the show and mansplain, you know, how you could do comedy better because, you know, they've been a builder for 20 years and they have some great stuff you could use in your sketch. And if you just did this a bit more, I did that a bit more. That only happens at the very bottom.

And then you take the megabus home overnight and just cry. But they would tell me, no, you need to hide. you need to wear unassuming clothes like jeans and a hoodie and trainers yeah people tell you to do that is that to do with a sort of perception that to be funny as a woman it's like well you'll be you it's too confusing as a man i find this too confusing you know i don't want to go to bed with you or i want to laugh at you but don't make me think about both yeah and that's this thing of like well you've got to go on in a sort of a check shirt and a cardigan yeah yeah And that's how some people are comfortable being dressed, and that's fine.

But the more people told me to do that, the more I went the other way. And I think what you wear can be a little bit distracting. I mean, if I went up in like a crop top with little booty pants on, I mean, that would be weird for everyone. So you don't want to wear something that's distracting. But I'm sorry, I'm being invited into people's homes on a Saturday night to do a theater gig or to be on a panel show. something I take that really seriously as a great privilege and if the men are in suits then I'm gonna dress up because I also like to dress up and I'd like to get my hair done and wear makeup and I think that's okay and you don't have to apologize for that

no what did you do at university it was like city planning or something yeah that's it I wanted to get out of the small town and move to Toronto yeah because all the television was made in Toronto and Toronto seemed just really cool I've just been I've had the soul of a big city girl I think all the time and I I didn't know what I wanted to be. I didn't really think I wanted to be an actress, but I was in musical theater when I was young and made little sketches and things.

I just knew that I was drawn to media somehow. And then I didn't think it was wise to, you know, not go to university or just to study drama or something. So they had a really amazing radio and television arts program at my university, but I didn't get in. I got into city planning, so I just took that. based on the university's right downtown Toronto.

Yeah. And I lived above this burger shop called Hooker Harvys, but it wasn't called, it was called Harvys. But it was at this junction that was known for having escorts. Right. And I loved it. And my dad would threaten, you know,

oh, well, if you don't do well in school, you'll find yourself in 10 years living above the Hooker Harvys. And I was thinking, what a dream that would be. I loved it. And then I didn't ever want to be a city planner. I just, I actually found it quite interesting though when I went. And then I had a boyfriend who was a comedian and I met him in the comedy club and he's, because I was just open-miking for fun.

Really as an outlet, the comedy club was next to the Hooters. Right. And I thought, oh, Catherine, you need to fix that smart mouth of yours. So if you do amateur nights once a week at the comedy club and don't tell anybody, then you can get all that weirdness out of your system for the week and you can be a good girl at Hooters it's genuinely my plan really yeah and then it's almost like exercising your personality yeah it was trying really hard to get rid of this really annoying what's it called a spirit personality that's it's it's spirit you know what it was yeah it's like it's like I always think there's that fight between my inner Betty draper do you watch madman yes

yeah that he's cursed with the way she looks yeah in that era I mean she looks like a little dolly and yeah and my mother was like that my mom's born in the 60s But she is stunning and tiny and blonde and has that lovely just cocoa butter skin that tans in the sun Big big big big boobs little waste and then she married this like big Irish man You know really diluted the genetic pool for me so that I have white skin weird long head big nose I love my dad but he doesn't make a pretty woman Is she? Is she funny your mom? She's so funny but um she was in circles where it wasn't always appreciated.

And I don't think my dad, even though he's funny in his own way as well, I think my dad's really funny, but they weren't suited at all. And I think that's what happens when you try to fit a square peg into a hole. Is that it? I mean, I don't want to get too graphic for the time. I'm speaking in metaphors. Thank you. Oh, look at you.

Watch kids. Hello. Oh, I love the jacket. Oh, thank you so much. But he just gets cold. But when that lady said little munchkins, by the way, she was talking to the dogs, not to Catherine and myself. I mean, no.

And when she said, I love the jacket. Even though Catherine's jacket is nice, it was about the dog's jacket. Yeah. So, go on, what were you saying about Square Pagan Roundhouse? So your mum and your dad, do you think... They weren't well suited at all. My mum married my dad because he's, I think, really tall.

And the first person in that small town who was from somewhere else, he's from Ireland. And then my dad married my mom for the obvious reason and she's a total 21-year-old babe. They had us, my two sisters and me. You've got two sisters, yeah. And then now they're both with partners who suit them so much better.

So they're not together anymore. They're not. They split when I was about 15. Yeah. And I'm really glad they did. They love their partners. My dad's partner is amazing. Yeah.

They both golf together and sail together. And it's amazing how well you can get on if you're with the right person and you feel like a bad person if you're in the wrong relationship. So true. That was a good lesson, I suppose. One that I learned too late.

And so, yeah, my mom never fulfilled her. I think she would have liked to be a comedian or do some entertaining. Is she proud of you now? She is, yeah. She likes it. She says she lives vicariously. But I don't know if she would really enjoy it,

because you do get a lot of hate. And my mom, I don't mind if people criticize me on Twitter at all. Do you? In what way? Do you mean on Twitter mainly? When you're a lady, social media, I think, is different from when you're a man. So they'll tell you you're not funny, no matter what gender is. But when you're a lady, then they'll also say that they're going to sexually assault you until you're dead from time to time.

They like to say that. And that doesn't bother me, but it bothers my mom. I think my mom looks online and she sees that. And she'll sometimes tweet them back and be like, actually, listen, my daughter. And she's really good. you know, she's got some J.K. rolling level slams. I think you have to be someone who, that's why it's useful, to have been unpopular in school, because it trains you up.

But there's no such thing as anyone who's universally adored. So even Taylor Swift was, you know, the darling. And then all of a sudden she started to get out of favor. I certainly felt growing up that pressure to be, liked and I suppose the less you say the less noisy you are the less space you take up the less likely you are to cause offence yes you know maybe that's being emancipated or maybe some people are just happy always being like that and that's their choice you know not yeah sort of being too noisy well for sure people are happy like that I think women especially need to reevaluate

that that's what causes problems because we were taught for generations and generations that a man should lead yes and look at the trouble that's gotten us into. I mean, I think people need to take risks, even if the result is, I mean, I'm really anxious about my Netflix special coming out because the UK feels like this lovely, safe, supportive bubble where the people who come to see me on tour, they know me a little bit, they know that my heart is in the right place, they know how left wing I am, they know that anything that I say is satirical and is meant to be on the right side of wrong but I think once that goes out in 190 countries people we should say actually yeah so you this is your

tour this is the Kathbaum tour isn't it yeah which they've changed the name for Netflix so in trouble is that right which is ominous so Kathbom was your tour which was hugely successful and Katham's your childhood nickname which I love you and Jimmy Carr aren't you aren't you the only kind of British-based comics. So have your own Netflix special or something or there's some... Yeah, we are so far. Should we go that way? Yeah, go on. And... That's amazing though, isn't it? It's really great. And hopefully that if the specials do well, I know Jimmy's special is obviously doing very well, then they'll make more British ones. Hello?

Hello! Uh-oh. Crying baby. Hello! You're missing one. Oh no. No, we've got them all. Oh, nice. Yeah. You know, that was so nice, the middle of a Christmas. Oh, did you? Oh, that's nice.

This is my friend Emily. Hi, and Mary. Nice to meet you. Oh, cool. Bye. Nice to meet you. It seems like you have a nice little community around here. I'm just getting a vibe about your life and I think some people just decide to, when that happens, when you're kind of on the cusp and you, you know, things start changing a bit for you.

a bit for you, they sort of throw themselves into it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Soho every night in there. Oh, God. And do you think having violet sort of grounds you a bit and you seem like a quite homemaker? Yeah, well, for sure. I don't want to go out ever.

It's my living nightmare to go on a date or to go out in Soho on a Saturday night. The dates are horrible anyway, aren't they? I don't know. I've never been on a date. How do you not? Mm-mm. I only, what I have is friends. friends that

Slowly start living with me and then they're my boyfriends for about three years and then I find another friend Americans See much more into this whole like New York like so we went out of day and then they have like rotation and there's five guys at once, but they're not sleeping with them and It's it just seems like a lot of stress whereas what British culture tends to be is you just go to the pub or you go to dinner and then after a few weeks you think well should we just take this a stage further yeah no this is exactly affecting my life right now I have a ex-boyfriend who for a while because we are in long distance he said well maybe we should

just you know go on some dates for a while with other people and I was like what what do you mean yeah because how long would you been with him when he said that no I'm not very long but he he's American and so I can't really fault it's his culture to do that I yeah they have that exclusivity thing thing, they know. Yeah. And I just think they don't realize, you do have to be sensitive of someone else's culture, I guess.

They don't realize that that will cause a lifetime of trauma for someone like me. There's no way that I would just be like, yeah, okay, well, we'll get back together after that and I won't want to know all the details of these women that I need to murder. Like I'm not, it's not okay with me at all. Even it, and then it will be. Yeah, but Catherine, at least you told you. I think that's happened to me, but I found out. afterwards gross well it'll only be a coffee or whatever and and really people are

having coffee all the time yeah it shouldn't be a big deal but when you say it to someone who doesn't have that culture because if you're happy with someone yeah then you to me I think you just tolerate the distance and it's like you can't say oh well I want to audition some other people yeah because that's what it is isn't it an an audition process that's what you do anyway but I I know girls, I have an American friend who lived in New York for a long time and she met her husband there. She was just going on loads and loads of dates. And for some people, that's what works.

And then for some people on a break, they go on loads of meaningless dates and it really pushes them together. And they say, actually, that was a really big mistake. Let's get married. Like on Sex and the City, what happened to Charlotte? And which sex in the city character did you identify with? Ooh. See, I think what was a draw about that show is that we were probably little bits of all of them. Yeah. So I'd probably look the most like Miranda, but I really loved what Charlotte wore.

I love those A-line dresses and things. Yeah, you're a Charlotte for sure. Well, you're like glossy hair. You've ever said to me. I think I want to be Charlotte, but I worry I'm actually Samantha. You're Samantha. That's cool. I'm not Samantha. I've never slept with anyone who's. who wasn't then my boyfriend for like minimum four years. Really? Yeah.

Because... So you quite... You strike me as quite a sort of committed person. Like you don't... Like you're someone who would want to put down roots? Yeah. That's a problem too. And it has been described to me as a very culturally Irish.

Where you make a commitment and you stick with it and you make it work and you keep your head down and you sort it out. Whereas in my parents' case, they'd just given up straight away, they probably would have been a lot happier. I was going to say, yeah, and then you think, well, what about your right to be happy as well? Yeah, as being committed, it's not always a good way to go. Yeah, and actually I think the older I get, the more I think, for me personally, everyone's different,

but sometimes I think it's nice to see relationships, not as though that failed, that failed, that. It's like, no, that was right for that time. Yeah. And then you had a period of time with that person in your life, you know? I think that's the rational way to look at it. I just don't look at it that way. I hate anyone who doesn't love me.

Are you kidding? I don't... Yeah, you know what? Screw them. Screw them. Yeah. Do you stay friends with exes? No.

So, like, if you accidentally fell and landed with your face in someone's naked lap, you would never want to see that person again if it wasn't happening anymore. Thanks again, I don't think it's possible to be friends with someone once you've seen their genitals. Yeah. Do you agree? I 100% agree. with that. I don't want, no. Or you're humiliated. By the time I'm out of a relationship, it's because something really awful happened and then you want to erase the fact that you were

ever that silly. With the exception of my daughter's father, we were really good friends. That's so nice, though, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're sort of like the unofficial queen of the panel show now, I think. Uh-oh. Well, that's a good thing, though, isn't it? Because I think for years, people have criticized panel shows quite rightly, just saying they're very male-dominated, and you've helped change that. Well, I think. I think you need to be careful to subscribe to any narrative that doesn't apply to you. And so if people say, oh, it's very male to do that, or it's male to have a one-liner or to speak over someone else, it's not, it's alpha. And there's no reason why we can't be alpha as well.

And I'm also, you might need to pull dolly long. She's lazy. Doing a wee everywhere. That's why she's the fattest. She's alpha? She doesn't want a wee. No, she's not. I don't know what Dolly is in the alphabet.

Can I follow? Yeah. Dolly. Come on, dolly. Dolly. It's time now. She's basically an armchair. So people describe them as being very male.

I think that they're very alpha. There's no reason why we can't be alpha. And I'm also blessed with ignorance. So I don't have any anxiety ever because I don't really have time to think about how difficult things might be or how I might do badly on them. Yeah. I think you just have to go in. say to my daughter that she has to have a happy heart about things. So I don't know a better way

to explain it to a child, but I'd always say that. Well, yeah, I don't feel like you have a happy heart to say you have to have a happy heart about that. And it sounds really lame. But you do. And you're being invited into people's homes and your job is to serve them. And I'm never worried about, oh, am I going to be edited to be laughing at the boys? Because those boys are my friends and I don't mind laughing at them. And then sometimes I say things. Do you get nervous, though, anyway, just about being funny and just in the way that any comic would?

No, the only thing that I ever get nervous about is I really don't want to hurt people. And I know that sometimes I'm offensive and I don't mean to be. Yeah, sometimes I say too much. I don't really have a filter. I'll tell secrets or I don't want to upset anyone. So I've done that a

couple times, accidentally upset people. That's the only filter that I have. Otherwise, if I'm not funny one day, that's okay I might be funny the next day and do you think with regards to like prep and stuff are you quite sort of meticulous how do you for panel shows unless it's one of those really loose ones you do need to be prepared and you need to know the material the content that you're going to be speaking about otherwise you look like an idiot and also that's the fun bit writing all those jokes because then you're really excited to to say something I'm excited to see if I almost feel like it's a combination to a lock. And if you get it right, then the lock unlocks.

I think the same is true with jokes. There's a right way to get all the numbers in place. And then it's always funny. And I think it's a really fun challenge to write some viewpoints or jokes on something and see if Jimmy's going to laugh at it or not. And what's your kind of average day? I mean, you take, do you take violet to school every day? I don't want this, by the way, to be a burglars or a kidnapper's guy.

Yeah. Like so many shows, who does MTV cribs? It's like, here's where I keep my jewels. Here's my back door. I have really different days. So if I'm working, sometimes the babysitter will come over early and take Violet, and I won't see her until she's asleep. But very often, I'm home in the day, and then that's so much fun.

So we wake up, usually too late, and she's so spoiled. She always has pancakes, which is just cake, which is just breakfast, Yeah. And then I take her to school, I walk the dogs. I never put on anything not elasticated. I always wear tracks. I have some really high-end loungewear. That's my interest, my area.

Well, this is why I like yee so much. Yes. I'm such a Kanye fan. I know. Because the way he's revolutionized the way we dress. I mean, beige loungewear. This is my dream. He said, he said, I live in LA and I love women's bodies.

When I look at a woman's body, why would you put? a blazer on that. Yeah. And they're all going to yoga class. That's his lifestyle. And so he designed this lounge where I love that you are a fan of Yeezie's line. I love Yeezy. And then they frown upon it at the school that they make a rule like could you not do the school run wearing a towel? And I'm like, listen. Do they really say that? Yeah, they say it's not aspirational to do the school run in your pajamas. And I'm like, those children need to see that I was once poor and then a waitress and then I worked in an office. And now I have the kind of life where I can do the bathroom school run and then go home eat ice cream all day yeah and then work at night what's

more aspirational than that the more scruffy yeah i have the better your life is not that you look scruffy no i do but i have two looks no you've got a fashion go on tell me about your two looks warm vagrant is today's look so that'll be my like little alice and olivia slides and i have some stella mccartney three-quarter jogging bottoms a little jumper canada goose jacket standard no bra no makeup some fake eyelashes that I'm slowly peeling off one by one. I love a fake eyelash. And then when I work, I dress up. I come to work because I appreciate people turning on the channel.

I have this in my act, this idea that if I was a man, I wouldn't be single, I'd be eligible, but I'd be the most eligible. They would make me the bachelor. There'd be a whole line of women auditioning to be like, Oh my gosh, single dog. He has all these cute animals. You've got your crib. You've got your crib.

dogs you've got your lovely daughter yeah you kind you've got this amazing career you've got your Stella McCartney track pants yeah somebody might say well she's got everything why does she need me yep and they're right and I agree with them and that's why I'm alone I don't have everything that you have I don't have the dogs yes you do you know I do I can support myself yeah there's a test that was featured on not the Kardashians, but in the spin-off, Rob and China. I love Robyn China. Me too.

It was a multiple choice test to see if you and your partner, you know, speak your love in the same language. And some people, it's by gifts or by assertion, telling you how much they love you and how beautiful you are. And by other people, it's acts of service. Right. So I mean, partners can make themselves feel needed, even for some of you are. someone who on the surface doesn't need anything at all. Little things, um, putting the washing out. Something really little. I love acts of service, just tiny,

make you bring you a coffee in the morning. I mean, I don't need you to pay my mortgage, but that is so nice. I would freak out if someone did that. Can we just go live in like a really cool female commie? In easy leisure wear. Oh, we're coming to your beautiful house now. And look, the cats joined us. So we've had our dog walk with three dogs at home. and the cat's here. And we're all done and I've had such a nice time. Thanks for the walk and talk, Emily Dean. So the podcast should have ended here.

That was the plan. But after I interviewed Catherine Ryan, something really amazing happened. And I just wanted to share it with you all. So I went back to chat to her and her daughter, Violet, about this really lovely thing happening. So here it is, Catherine Ryan, the sequel. This time, it's personal, but in a good work.

Do you got the keys? What has happened? into my keys. Oh, I'm trapped by dogs. Guys, come on. This is not, look. Look. Are you going to take a coat?

This is not a good start. Megan, you're so dumb. Wait, wait. Wait, wait. Dolly. Let's do a run for it. So this is Walking the Dog Part 2 with Catherine Ryan. And I wasn't planning on doing any sequels this early in the franchise.

but I decided to because I'm with Catherine Ryan and I'm with her lovely daughter Violet. I came to interview you and I kind of fell in love a bit with your shih Tzu Megan and then I was looking to buy a dog and then I contacted a breeder and I thought I'll go and look at these shih Tzu's bought Ray, found out when I went to pick him up what did I find out Violet? That Ray Ray Ray was Megan's brother. Sometimes I think fate takes you to a certain place and then and you make the next move and raise the perfect dog for you.

I mean, he's got the same color hair. He's got the same attitude. And yeah, I mean, there are very few imperial shitsy breeders in the UK. And I mean, we got brother and sister and they love each other, don't they? And now we have these sort of play dates, which I absolutely love. And I've become so fond of Megan and they're so cute together. And people say the dogs don't know their family,

but I'm certain these two know. Yeah. Don't they behave as though they know? Don't you think, Violet? Oh, we're gonna walk past that noisy school. Why aren't you in school, by the way? Oh yeah, Violet's not in school today, we should say, because... She's sick. She's sick.

Talking about yourself in the third person, which I like. She is sick. She is legitimately sick. You know, I always believed Viola. I was a liar at her age. I'd be like, oh, I don't feel a while. Violet was violently ill this morning, so here we are. You know, I think she's allergic to all production food. She was on set with me yesterday.

The first time she was sick is when she was poisoned by the John Bishop Show. Really? I'm still awaiting the settlement. Yeah, no. I forced her to eat, and that's not my style, but I was stressed out. I said, you must eat these sausages, you must. And then she didn't feel well. And she was violently ill.

Partly the reason why I love coming around to yours, because I do invite myself over quite a lot now. Ever since the discovery about the brother and sister. And we're glad you do. I'm constantly inviting myself over, and I love it. Yeah. And you know it's in my new show I talk about having a glitter room. Like why would we want a man around when Violet's like, If you need me, mommy, I'll be watching mean girls in the glitter room.

Like it's just such a girl's house. Is Megan doing a wee? Mm-hmm. Be careful walking past the school if they spot you. Yeah, what if the school spot, Violet and you're meant to be sick? I mean, you are sick. We should say you're absolutely all sick.

She was sick. I'm sick. I threw up. You threw up, yeah. Let's go past the school because it's noisy as well. well for the podcast. Go on dogs. Come on. Come on doggies. Um. Should we go over here? So we go in the tennis court and then we can let them off the lead to run. Oh that's such a good idea. Yeah. Come on let's go to the tennis court. I like

this. It's making it sound like you live in some state home or something or go over to the tennis. I have a tennis court. No one's ever in there. Violin and I play tennis. If there are any young men listening you can't pay their bills. You can't say that. Well yes. You have a boyfriend. Well, you never know. Like, I like to mix it up. I haven't met the boyfriend yet. Can I meet him?

Yeah, you can meet him next time he's in town. I like to mix it up on stage, so he never knows what's going on. The people who come to my shows never know what's going on. Because then you can tell some truths and some lies. Mix it all together and then nobody knows. And never actually identify them. That's right. Oh, so we're letting the dogs off the lead quickly.

And raise off the lead. He doesn't know it yet. He's still just. There, run. Run! Run for your lies dogs. Run, guys. Go on. What would you say?

Some good tips for dog owners? Well, when my grandmother came over, she put Megan on the pee-pad in the kitchen and said, Lou, and then she peed. And then we kept on doing it for a while, and then she kind of grew out of it when my grandmother left. You need to always do it.

What, you need to be consistent with the pee-pad, you mean? And what do you think about sleeping in the bed? Do you think I should allow Ray to sleep in my bed, Violet? I think you can have it. teeny tiny dog like Ray, a hypoallergenic dog with human hair like Ray. Yeah. On the bed. Do you think so?

Yeah, I love it. I don't care. I mean, the cat is not allowed in the bed. That's a different type of fur. Yes. We are modern women. We've got it together. It's not like we're dirty.

We clean the sheets a lot. You know, it's fine. Yeah, you're right. And he shouldn't. I mean, I don't like the way humans put babies in different rooms. We're the only species to do that. to do that. But this has genuinely made me realize I thought owning a dog was just, oh, you have a dog. It's just really lovely. I can't imagine not having one now. What are you doing with Ray that you

couldn't do before him? Well, I think I'm more sociable and I'm meeting more people. I love it. I tell my friends, oh, Ray is coming over. I don't even say Emily's coming around. I say Ray's coming over. They're like, who's Ray? Who are you seeing? And I've really, this chocolate. I've really fallen in love with Violet as well. She is great. And I think I'm really, I look at how you raise her and I don't have kids but I have nieces and I think that's how I'd like I think that's an example of how to raise a young woman now so you're doing it you are very involved in the raising of your nieces so that's good and it takes a village I mean Violet's lucky that I have women like you like Sarah Pascoe like Ashley and be other women around that she looks up to and

inspires because there's going to come a day when no matter how cool I am and I am 100% cool she won't respect me anymore and everything I say will be stupid and you know it takes a village And I miss that saying, it takes a village. I will discipline other people's children in the street. That's why I have so few friends in this neighborhood. Ray running is one of the funniest sites. Oh my gosh. File, call Ray over.

His hair is wasted on a podcast. His hair is wasted on a dog, if we're going to be honest. Yeah, that's true. I mean, careful of him. You know what it's like? The highlights and the shape of it is a bit like a man in dynasty in the 80s. That's what Ray's hair's like. I'm glad you got him.

Are you? Can you imagine loving any other dog or human child as much as you love Ray? I can. I can. But I'm surprised at how life changing it's been getting a dog. I would definitely say that. And how much it's expanded my whole world, really. And I've got all new friends.

I'm more like on the street because when you have cute dogs like Megan and Ray, people stop you a lot, don't they? So I always say this, it's like walking down the street with Justin Bieber. but people go, oh my God, oh wow. And you just recede into the distance. Yeah. But it's weird. People will just come up and you'll be holding him near your face.

People will put their hands out. Just touch him as though you have that big pregnancy tummy. They don't ask. They just touch him. I hate that. That's the one drawback of having a cute small dog. Yeah, yeah. Is that sometimes you're in a hurry.

Well, also they get his hair greasy and sometimes I spent a long time. Well, I can see that. He's got a blowout. He's got a fresh. Love his blowout. What's he eating, Violet? Can you see? Okay, so can I ask you a question as well, which I've been wondering? So do you think, your mum's a comic, isn't she? I think you're pretty funny. Would you like to do that?

I'm pretty sure I want to be a singer and dancer and then I can also do comedy when I sing something like that, when I act or something. Well, no, you want to start out with comedy and that's the only way that you'll really get noticed and you won't have to audition for things. A lot of actresses in LA. LA, they go, oh, I'm a stand up and they're not just so that they can help themselves out with acting. So comedy is the way in. Yeah.

Because being an actress on its own, it's a bit like writing as well is really good. Yes. Because it means that you can then write great parts for yourself, like Lena Dunham or something, you know. Can I ask you something which has you've been doing, you're doing your face or mine? Yeah. But Jimmy Carr? Yeah. And are you recording that at the moment?

We are recording series two of that already. Series 1 goes out now. Jimmy's so funny. He's such an inspiration to me and I mean that. Jimmy Carl makes me laugh. Do you like Jimmy Carl? Yeah, he's nice. You should see him around children.

Really? She was beside herself, just ruling around with laughter. He was so good to her. And Jimmy is a man of action, you know, he's like, let's get through this, let's do this, let's move on. And he was stopping the whole rehearsal for this entitled seven-year-old to ask him, she was raising her hand during our show rehearsal and asking me.

show rehearsal and asking questions. But she's here. You know what? It's interesting. I mean, I know you're joking you said in title, but she's actually, well, that she's walking sufficiently far ahead that she won't get a big head. But she's just, it's like hanging out with a really cool mate. Oh, I know. She's so cool. She's really cool. And I don't take complete credit for that or responsibility. I think having sisters, knowing that the three of us were raised by the same

parents. Yeah. You just are who you are sometimes. She just is. She just came out like that. Yeah. Are you strict? I'm not at all strict unless you cross the line and then I'll take everything out of your room until you're sleeping on a bare mattress. Violet hasn't ever crossed that line, but it's just respect. I mean, she's never naughty or anything, but I think if you have a rule of just mutual respect in the house, they never cross the line. And if they're crossing it at three years old, you can forget about it, you're done, you'll never get them back. But you hear some of these eight-year-olds.

The way they speak to each other, the way they speak to their parents, just like, oh, she will be in jail in 10 years. Like, well done. It's too late. I don't know why. They let their children carry on like that. Now, it's not all of them. But now and then, oh. Do you think it's because also it's just easier in that moment, isn't it, I guess? I don't think it's ever easy to allow someone to disrespect you? I don't get, I don't know. Why do you want to raise someone that other people don't want to be around? That does them no service. Well, you know what? I often hear parents saying when there's a child coming and behaving like Mariah Carey and they say, I love her spirit. I love her spirit. I think I'm not sure that's spirit. I think that's just horrible. Some of them though, I mean, I do get that because I will respect a funny child who's a little bit saucy because she shall have something that I don't have. And also, at least if she messes up one day, it will definitely have been her idea. She won't be led into anything and that's the most. dangerous thing yeah I think it's being led well I do but then I also think is that thing of mistaking rudeness for individuality yeah yeah and you're aware when you see like

you're hanging out with violence you just a pleasure to mm-hmm what I'm saying is it's not just you I come around here Paul yeah it's the whole package well and can you imagine like dating someone yeah and thinking oh I'm really in love with this person they're great it's time for me to meet their children if their children were awful what would you do you be like oh man yeah that's hard isn't it because actually you, that's for lie. Someone has an obnoxious child, it's like, well, that's not going to go away any time to see.

Although Violet is pretty mean to my boyfriends. Is she? Aren't you, gal? Yeah. Are you mean to Mommy's boyfriends? Why? She just said yes, I can exclusively reveal. Why are you mean to them, Violet?

I don't know. I just don't want them. My boyfriend's to be near me. You don't want them what? To be me and me or my mom. Yeah. Why? I don't know.

I just don't. It's sort of like, you know, there was a kid move. where the children don't want to move house. So when the letting agent comes around, they pretend they're ghosts in the house. Is that what you're doing with mum's boyfriends? I need some sort of level, some standard.

This is, we're back in the home now, and all the dogs are here. So do you want to hang on to row? Do you want a baby dog sit for a couple of hours? Yes. I'll come back and get you later and get really late for you. I'll text mom. I really hope you enjoyed walking the dog.

Thank you for listening. And don't forget to subscribe on iTunes. Otherwise, no treats for you. Zero.