Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Katherine Ryan and Bobby Kootstra (Part One)

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

Today, we’re going on a walk with showbiz’s most fabulous couple… it’s Katherine Ryan and Bobby K! We’re pretty much obsessed with Katherine and Bobby’s love story… which started when they were at high school together in their hometown of Sarnia, Ontario. Twenty years later, they reconnected in a very rom-com style when Katherine was filming Who Do You Think You Are.We met Katherine and Bobby with their dogs Manny and Cardi B in North London - we discussed everything from the pressure boys feel when they experience the death of their fathers, how Katherine’s daughter Violet reacted to Bobby joining their family and the secret to their relationship success. Follow @kathbum on Instagram Follow @bobby_k__ on InstagramAt Home With Katherine Ryan can be streamed for free on U You can listen to Katherine's podcast Telling Everybody Everything wherever you get your podcasts!Katherine is currently on her tour with her brilliant show Battleaxe. You can buy tickets here!You can listen to Emily and Ray’s first walk with Katherine from May 2017 here You can listen to Emily and Ray’s second walk with Katherine from April 2025 hereFollow Emily: Instagram - @emilyrebeccadeanX - @divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Faye LawrenceMusic: Rich Jarman Artwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why do you think it works between you, two? Well, we're rich. I wasn't. This week on Walking the Dog, Raymond and I went for a stroll with a woman who's no stranger to this podcast. In fact, I've now made her come on several times. So do go back and give those episodes a listen. The wonderful Catherine Ryan is back with us. But this time, she brought along her divine husband, Bobby Kay, for the chat.

So as regular listeners to this podcast might know, Ray is actually the brother of Catherine's dog Meg Ryan. He didn't get to see his sister today because Meg was having a bit of a lion, but Ray did get to hang out with his honorary dog siblings, Cardi B and Manny. And I got to delve a bit more into Bobby and Catherine's love story, which started when they were teenagers at school, involved a couple of breakups, which, by the way, I still haven't fully forgiven Bobby for, followed by a rom-com-star reunion. We had the loveliest stroll chatting about their first meeting, their shared history,

and the incredible blended family they've created with Catherine's daughter, Viola, and their two toddlers, Fred and Fenner. They recently invited cameras into their home for a brilliant series called At Home with Catherine Ryan. Series 2 is out now on U&W, and you can stream it on you, and it's such a hilarious insight into their relationship and family dynamic, so I urge you to get involved. I also really recommend you go and see Catherine's amazing life. show Battleax, which is currently touring, you can go get your tickets at livenation.co.

com.uk. And do, of course, listen to her fabulous podcast telling everybody everything, because it's endlessly entertaining. I know you'll love my walk with Catherine and Bobby, because frankly, what's not to love about these two? I'll stop talking now and hand over to the iconic duo themselves. Here's Catherine and Bobby and Manny and Cardi B and Ray Ray. Right, Raymond, come on, please. He's such a diva. Can't tell if he's walking backwards or forwards. I mean, B.K., what a start. Insulting my dog.

It's a compliment. Oh, I think that's a compliment. Come on, Raymond. He's very symmetrical. I'm going to have to put him on his lead. He'll follow, maybe, if we walk, he'll just come. Come on. Raymond Dean.

Oh, do you know, Kath? I love it when they shout that out at the vets. Yeah. You know when they say the surname? And it feels a bit weird that the dog has a surname. They go, Raymond Dean. I think, oh, I hadn't really thought of him. is being Raymond Dean. Well Megan would be no one without her surname. That's true.

She could never be Meg Ryan. Oh, Cardi. You consider the full name and you can't go wrong with this surname Dean. It's a classic, I won't lie. Come on, follow Bobby and Catherine. Oh look at this guys. Oh, he doesn't like us today. Come on Ray. Come on Ray Ray, Ray. You know what he doesn't like East Barnett and who can blame him. Follow these two. Which way are we going? I'm going to follow you. We don't know this park. Oh, Oh, don't you? Oh, although... I thought this was your choice. No, no.

They just said... Oh, Faye chose it. But there is a park around here, and it might be this one. There's the London's first fully accessible park, and you can play on every bit of it in a wheelchair. So I'm looking forward to that. That'll be exciting for you. Twilight Years.

That's amazing. Well, I quite like the look of this. It feels quite smart. It might be a park, actually. So, come on, Ray. I've been meaning to take the kids because although they're not in wheelchairs, They do like ramps.

Yeah. So you haven't got the kids with you today? No. No, they're in school. They're making their cameo. They're in school three days a week. And this is World Book Day. Yes, they're dressed up.

So what do they go as? Tenuous links to any books. Yes. What was it? Fred is dressed as the Spider-Man from the comic books that he's not read, but he wanted to be happy and wear Spider-Man outfits. We both said, all right.

And he went with, what's the author that wrote those comic book things? Oh. Richard Scarry. Yeah, Richard Scarry. Oh, Richard Scarry was one of my favorite. Richard Scarry wrote a book called What Do People Do All Day? That's the one he brought in. That was my favorite book.

And I remember Kath. I would look at it. And there were all things like a fox in sort of welcoming people onto a plane. And cabin crew, you know, for more hippo tinkering under a car. No, Fred's always enjoyed those ones. Did he like that? Yeah. So many details.

But because those books were written. like in the 40s, there's also a lot of police brutality and, like, racial profiling. Yeah. So we had to apologize on the way into school. It might not be appropriate. And then Fana, well, first I made her. You should see, I'll show you photos. I made some duck feet out of an old orange Zara jumper.

Because there's a book called I Wish that I Had Duck Feet. And then she ended up not liking the costume. Actually, I've got to show it to you because it's so cute. So then she wore a festival outfit that Violet had from like latitude, but she said that she was a witch, which she was not. The dogs are reacting to another dog we've just seen. He's being very, very tolerant. I've just seen a picture of beautiful Fenner in her dark feet.

I love her. I think she's got definite Catherine Ryan energy. It's reminding me of the watsets outfit. She's a real do-it-myself kind of gal. So we're in, I think it's called Oak Hill Park and Southgate, which is sort of between us, because we're both north, but you're a little bit more country-fied, rarefied, if I may say now. You can say that, yeah. Yeah. It's not a bad perk.

I quite like it. And we've got Manny and Cardi B with this today. Yeah, we left Megan behind, even though she is the biological sister of Raymond Dean, because she's so infirmed that she's, uh, she's. kind of can't walk for a long time. And then she snorts like a pig and that's an audio issue on a podcast. So she just wasn't up to it. She can't make the journey. Oh, poor me. She just runs out of steam quickly. That's all. Does she? Yeah. She's got a ton of like pulmonary issues and she takes Viagra twice a day. How does that help her the Viagra? Something's an energy. Yeah. I don't think Viagra was originally intended for erections. I think it was. I think it's

it was some type of vascular heart medicine. And then they accidentally realized, oh, hang on, we can sell this to every impotent businessman across the land. And that's how. I think people that aren't businessmen are still taking it. Really? Yeah.

Not me personally, but I've heard. Yeah, I'm glad you said that movie, because the way you said people sound a little bit suss. And we've got the lovely Manny and Cardi B here, who I adore. They adore you. And obviously, you've been on this. podcast more times than me kath oh yes because you're such a good mate but i know your history with dogs

kath mhm i'm interested to know bobby k's history with dogs because you both obviously grew up in the same place didn't you and so on here yep what was your family story with dogs i've got kind of a checkered past with dogs when i was really small we had a big german shepherd that was probably not safe to have with me and my three young sisters Whose idea was that? Like, where did it come from? I don't know. Like, we lived on a farm. I had to, like, don't remember any of this. For like a year of my life, my sisters would have been there for a few years.

So we would have come from the farm. And then he went quickly back to the farm. What was he called? I don't even remember. I was terrified of him. And I was terrified of dogs probably until I was about 18 years old until my sister got a Rottweiler. And I actually...

That'll call me down. No, so me becoming friends of this Rottweiler, like, changed my whole perspective on dogs. perspective on dogs. I was no longer afraid of them. There was another event where I got chased down the street by a dog when I was on my bicycle and he was like nipping at my heels and I had nightmares about that for decades. And then once my sister got the Rottweiler, Cash was his name. We got along well and then I started to like dogs. I was more of a cat person before and now I can't stand cats. Yeah. And when you met Catherine, obviously you realized, did you realize pretty

instantly dogs are very much part of the deal? Yes. Catherine had three dogs and like each morning. I was just reminded now to walking to the park. That's what we used to do every morning when I first came over. Take the dogs to the cafe, go for a walk, and we do that a few times a day. And it was, yeah, something totally new. And now, it's been like, it's been years since we've kind of done that. I have non-threatening dogs.

Very non-threatening. I mean, I'm not... I mean, Mani's the most lovable dog when you first get to know him, he'll crawl right on your lap and won't leave you alone. He loves, like, new people. But Bobby is edgy about animals overall, I would say. Are you? Especially birds. Why do you think that is, Bobby?

I don't know. There's just an unpredictability. I don't get most human brains, but I especially don't get animal brain. So there's a disconnect there. It makes me uncomfortable, but I become much more comfortable with it. So if you don't like unpredictability, how's it going with Catherine? It's been hectic. But entertaining, fun.

Obviously, Kath is the love of my life. We've known each other for a long time, so we reconnected. Well, I want to go back to your origin story as a couple, because I've read Catherine's brilliant book, The Audacity, still available. And if you haven't read it, what the hell are you doing with your life? It's probably cast nothing now. They'll probably pay you to download it now. It's absolutely brilliant.

You write a lot. There's a lot, you know, a large part of it is devoted to the story of your meeting. And just in case any fools haven't read your book, I want you to tell me, you met in Sano and you were at school together. It was kind of, you were 16 where you met? Yeah, 15 or 16. And Catherine kind of appeared out of nowhere because she wasn't, I started at the one school, what I was in grade 9, we called it over there. And then all of a sudden, I think she came in grade 10, but I didn't notice her until grade 11. She just kind of peered out of nowhere.

And I also like shot up and grew quickly. And then kind of right away, she was very forward. forward and it's like oh you're gonna be your girlfriend I'm like all right she had a nice big bomb oh yeah did you say that to him pretty much but it is weird how we appeared out of nowhere because it's a small town and it's a small school and we didn't know each other until one day we did and all of a sudden I just liked Bobby and I was like laying low for like a year where I wasn't like interested in girls because I was like hadn't hit puberty I was very short you know no armpit hair so like having any interactions with a girl are we quite embarrassed

for me. We've just met, is that a Westie guys? I'd say so. I would say so. Gorgeous, dog. And the Westie's being quite calm, but... Mani is a real... All right, Manny.

All right, Manny. So... So, yeah, I was late to the party, growth-wise, and so then after a year, like, of just laying low... But when did you get your braces off? I got my braces off in grade nine. Oh. I had them grade eight to grade, only like a year of braces.

But I was five foot three. Again, no armpit hair. nothing and then all of a sudden I shot up like seven inches in one year and I was ready to hit the market and then before I even realized Catherine and I just kind of I don't know she just fell into each other's you know sphere I bought in low I got there first and I could see that it was only going up and I just said well I think word got back to you through mutual friends during the day that I decided I fancied you and then exactly that evening there was a basketball game where Bobby painted half his face black, don't worry, the other half red, it was our school colors.

It was collegiate colors, can we say? Yes, it was appropriate. And then I think I just looked up at the bleachers or like made it very clear to you that I was gonna see you later at the after party. And then we had house parties back then which was so much fun. They were fun. And I think I just kind of pulled him into a cupboard and kissed him in the cupboard and I said, you and I are going to be boyfriend and girlfriend and he said fine. And Bobby's been very agreeable since. Well, you say that.

But there was a hideous day. He ended the relationship for the reason. We still will never know why this first time. Yeah, there's a lot of, it's open to a lot of interpretation that... No. Well, no, it's not. I think so. There's some contentious, you know...

One of us was sober and remembers everything. Was that me or you? Me. And one of us had hidden, like, What was it? So the day before, it was actually quite clever. It was at the high school. So the day before brought in like a Mickey of whiskey and like hit it in the ceiling where the prom bathroom would be the day before.

So you couldn't sneak it in because they would search you on the day of. So that was my first experience with whiskey, I think. And yeah, I don't remember a lot. So I will have to say that Catherine has a better memory possibly of the evening. But in my mind, I didn't think that I broke up there. Yeah, and this is where we sort of come to blows about it. So all week, Bobby had been weird, and that's because I know now he hates to be loved. And I really loved Bobby a lot.

I cast him in the high school fashion show, and I wrote his name on the marquee, Bobby Kutstra, and he really hated that. I didn't like that. It emasculated him. And he's always hated love. He hates affection, he's got very affectionate sisters, he doesn't want to be, like, obviously loved. which is why he likes my hostile personality now. But he was being weird leading up to the prom and then on the day of the prom. Oh, the crows.

Crows have spotted our ferocious animals. They've spotted the man who doesn't want love. No. Not many? It's like an Edgar Allan Post story. That's it. That's why they arrived. Yeah, go on.

So whiskey, you know what it does to men. I mean, it really is, in all sense of the word, a spirit. it. It turns every man into like a bastard. And so he was being very standoffish with me at the prom. We posed for the photos and everything else, but he was dancing with this other girl who was having a relationship with one of the teachers, incidentally. It was that kind of school. And then I just said, I don't need to be, I don't need to be treated like this anymore. So I confronted Bobby. And then he was just like, well, then let's break up. And I said, fine. And he doesn't remember saying that to me, but I remember him saying it to me because he was the last.

love in my life and I was very upset and it feels extremely invalidating that you don't even remember crushing my heart and then when he's sobered up well when I instead of apologizing me like oh sorry well when I sobered up I noticed her making it with the 35 year old security guard at the prom after party that's when I sobered up you did leave that detail out yeah well he gave me no other choice so I come to the realization as it's not just that she was it was like the only well-lit area at the party on top of the patio where the kegs were and like it's like a spotlight shining down on this guy and this guy was like a steroid guy like a big huge six foot four like yeah he's 300 pounds like taking you know steroids and she's making out them in front of everyone at the party

and i was absolutely floored why did you do that car um to really draw a line under the relationship i suppose because i thought you can't fire me i quit yeah but i was like don't know Well, then, I'm like, this is definitely over. Yeah, well, what did you think was going to happen? Well, I didn't expect that. Well, no, expect the unexpected with me. Yeah, that is true. Watch what I do next time.

I'll find another 35-year-old bouncer and make out with him. So after you got off with the 35-year-old bouncer, but that was it. It was over. No, she continued to see him for weeks just to make an honest woman myself. Yes. Oh, no. I know what happened with him because, yeah, I remember you saying that he shaved his chest and it felt a bit like a cheese greater.

Aerodynamic, I guess. He really was like a bodybuilder. It looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but like bald. And he wasn't 35, he was 31. Sorry. He did have a child. I was, well, whatever, legally is fine for the times. We can say 18, but I think we were 17.

Yeah, I was 17. 17 in this country is fine. But anyway, you know, obviously not aspirational behavior from me. But it was like a form of self-harm, I think, Emily. But I think that revenge thing is very strong. I understand that. There was a boy at university who weirdly was Canadian, who was on a sort of exchange thing.

And everyone fancied Stefan. Because he was... No, French Canadian. Everyone fancied Stefan. Exactly. There was nothing not to like about him. I thought he really liked me. But then I realized he flirted with everyone.

That was his currency. He was just French. French Canadian. I thought he liked me but he was French. The classic story. It really was. And then I essentially threw a very lavish, expensive 18s just so that I could get off with Stefan. And then he just commented on it was great that there was all this free booze, which he drunk,

and then just ignored me most of the night. So I got revenge on him by going home with his brother. home with his brother. Great. How old was his brother? He was maybe two years younger and then I didn't want to see the brother again. So I did something which I'd seen someone doing a movie and I thought, oh this would be cool and Stefan will hear about it even at that point. And I wrote on a post-it note, that was fun, see you soon and left it on the pillow. Great. Because I thought at least that will get back to Stefan that I wrote a cool Yeah. Yeah. I never hurt from him again. It's very sex in the city that posted.

Well, I think it was just, you know, you have the idea of like, what will make me look cool? But do you know what? It might have affected Stefan, but you just don't know because these boys don't discuss their feelings. Were you someone who didn't discuss your feelings, Bobby? I feel have you got better at that. Yeah, no, I never really, like I discussed my opinion openly, but like feelings, they kind of, yeah, it's not something, something I, you know, my dad passed away when I was quite young, so I just repressed a lot of those memories, thankfully, of him. Maybe we could trick you into talking about your feelings by asking you to express your opinion about your feelings. Well, that's, my opinion is I'd rather not discuss my feelings

unless I will once in a while. I don't know, guys, especially guys to guys, they don't usually discuss too much. You have the odd guy that's very emotional and loves to and then he'll have a couple drinks and he'll like break down and want to tell you everything. But most are not like that. Yeah, it's a nightmare. Bobby goes golfing with guys who have like a lot going on. I want to hear about it. He knows nothing. He comes back with nothing. Yeah. Five hours of golf, not one drop of tea. And Catherine, were you aware then? Because you were saying you lost your dad, Bobby? You were aware of that, Cath, obviously, when you got to know Bobby. There's something you wrote in your book, which I found really touching, actually,

was you were saying you found it kind of heartbreaking that, I suppose there's slight pressure that is put on boys when they lose a father, but, you know, just by well-meaning friends, you know, or relatives or whatever, you're the man of the house now. I still have a lot of feelings about that whole time, and I'm unpacking new ways to get angry about it. Like, obviously, everybody did the best they could when handed this, like, horrible grief. And I think Bobby had to carry a lot as a boy, like, as a really little boy. Yeah.

And then he was also a pallbearer at his dad's funeral. And I never really thought until very recently, oh, gosh, like, The metaphor of that, the physical having to carry your father's body, but also just like he was carrying a lot. I don't know how appropriate that was, Bobby. Yeah, I don't think about it much. I mean, I thought it was an appropriate thing to do at the time. Like, it's my dad. I think historically that's something that's very normal to do.

At 10, I don't know. But I think, had I not, I think I would have. I've been upset. Well... So I don't know, I don't think much of it. Yeah. Being a pallbearer. Because that's all I knew.

Right. But like if you passed away, would you want Fred carrying your coffin? I don't know. Well, that's another twist. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. It's just like I said, at the time, that's all I knew. So it was like, it seemed normal. But you know, this is the other thing. Anyone in their 40s plus now, we were raised by children.

We were raised by 20-year-old girls with eating disorders. I mean, they did the best they could. I don't really hold it against anyone. When I think about how young my mom was basically raised by JoJo Siwa. What do you think was the thing that draws you to each other? Because sometimes people say you're looking for a quality that maybe you don't have. I immediately was drawn to Catherine over confidence and ambition and competence. And like at my age, whenever that was, most girls are very like wishy-washy, waffly.

But she's like direct. She's like aggressive, knows what she wants. And I found that quite sexy. Really? That's good. I like that. Because like I said, especially at that age, the girls, they're like quite immature. Not that I was even mature, but I really appreciated her maturity.

But you didn't really give me credit for any of that until after. No, I didn't realize till after. I thought most girls were like that. That's the thing. So we broke up. I was like, oh, I'll get a new girlfriend. But even for decades later, I was like, no, you know what? She was actually, you know, the best.

I was in Glasgow filming something called Bad Altz with the sketch troupe Pappies for BBC 3. and this would have been, I don't know, 2012, maybe, and I got received a drunken little Facebook message from yours truly, Bobby Kutstra, just being like, Kath, so many women that I met in my life were caged, not you, I wish I still, I think I do still have message.

Was that before you got back together then? Really? This is like a decade, over a decade before. So why did you suddenly send that? Did you just think about them? I think you started doing mushrooms. Well, no, I did mushrooms well before that. I met people that were living in England.

I don't think that's quite the denial you think is. No, it's not. But I met people that were in England. I'm like, oh, I know someone lives over there. Anyways, I was reminded of her, so I felt to take the opportunity to message her and kind of let her know my, like, you know, respect that I didn't give her at the time, possibly.

It was your Adele. Hello? It was. And that message meant so much to me. And I thought, this prick is probably in a relationship, has no business messaging me something so sweet. And I remember exactly where I was, exactly when I received that message. And I just thought, ha. And I don't know if I even replied. I don't think maybe you did. I don't remember that. I shouldn't have. I'm glad I didn't. You guys got back together and I'm so thrilled that I feel I was present for that. Oh yeah, you were. Yes. I mean, I wasn't there for the actual moment, but I did get a text, which I've saved, and it's never to be deleted. What did it say, Emily?

Oh, I might have to share it with you. Oh, go ahead. It was during my, like, morning after spiral. You re-encountered Bobby. How many years later was it after you'd broken up? Oh, 20. 20 years later, and you're filming, who do you think you are? Yes.

In Canada. and then you put a message up on social media saying, I'm in Toronto, anyone know any good bars? And there was a part of you that was kind of hoping Bobby might see it. No, there was 100% of me that was certain Bobby was going to message. I just knew. Because she started following my Instagram maybe a month before only. But we'd had no official interaction.

No one chatted or anything. And then she's in Toronto. I live there. And she knew that I would respond. And she, but it was a honey trap because she sent it out. Like, oh, where should we go? And I'm like, oh, maybe check out the spot. She was, yeah, I'm not going there.

I'm here, though, if you want to come for a drink, basically. I was like, it was Monday night for me. I'd work in the morning then. And I was like, yeah, well, I'm never probably going to see her again. So, yeah, fine. Monday night, let's do it. I went out for a drink. And that lasted 12 hours.

And then I got a text from Catherine saying, I slept with my ex at my mom's. At my mom's. He said, I've now got to go and film Who do you think you are? It was like a whole day of filming in a library about the measles.

And I was spiraling, I felt. I thought it was a lovely tribute to your dead relatives. And I think I said to you, his name is Bobby because there's no better. like Canadian quarterback name. Yeah. His name is Bobby.

And I got to meet you fairly soon. Definitely. So I came, so this happened and within three weeks, Catherine's like, oh, why don't you come over and visit? I've got all these air miles. I'm like, all right, I've got some new vacation time. It's his new year. So this happened like early January.

And I came at the end of January just for like four or five days. And that went, I mean, so well that like by the end of it, we're like planning having baby. babies basically. Yeah. I was very impressed Bobby because I think it can be difficult, you know, to create a blended family. And obviously Violet was your daughter, Kath, was a little bit, we miss a little friend here. This is a sweet dog. That was tough initially, wasn't it? Because obviously, and I get it, you know, you and Violet had your little routine going on and she's going to have to adjust that. But I remember being very impressed by how you dealt with it because she, would say some frankly hilarious things sometimes to get a rise out of you yeah that's back when

I was stronger before she was full teenager so we've violet and I have had an interesting run at first she definitely hated me and then we had a good few years and now we're kind of trying to find peace again yeah but at the time yeah she was absolutely livid I remember her saying at one point when I was sitting at your place, Kath, and Bobby was there. And she said, well, what's going to happen is we're going to have a big house and then it's going to be amazing. And then Mommy will live there and M and me and the dogs and Ray Ray. And then she smiled at us.

And you went, oh, that sounds like a really fun house. And I thought, oh, he's good. and then she extended an olive branch she said well there's a gardener's room you could live in the bunker and we would joke about Bobby living in the bunker for weeks before we moved in yeah I never did sleep in the bunker no still to come it's tough to navigate though isn't it and I think you guys have done a good job because

you've got to respect the life that she had with Catherine before yeah I certainly did coming in it was quick everything was kind of very quick and also not quick at the same time I don't know it felt and then we got into COVID right away so that was actually kind of

a blessing for the family unit to be spent so much time together everybody in that quick amount of time that I don't know everything just kind of seemed to work easily your parents didn't split Emily until you were an adult no I was a kid when they split

Did you, so did you have, like, mom's boyfriends or anyone? No, my mom had this guy. I mean, my dad just had a series of random women who meet from some mad Russian woman who'd also had an affair with Colonel Gaddafi. Oh, wow. To, he went out with Richard, he dated Richard Burton's widow, Sally Burton. I mean, he went out with the weird, you know, it was just a series of weird women he dated. But my mom had a guy called J.G.

J.G. We called him J.G. He was an old. actor. And he didn't say much. He would only speak, he would always play Nazis and films. He would all, because he'd had that very, just sort of like, he was quite Germanic looking. So he was in a very successful medical soap here when he was younger. But he drunk and smoked a lot. And he was very nice, but he would only really communicate with us using dialogue from films he'd been in. So he would say things like, ah, so.

So why does he say he's like He said oh he played a Nazi in a film Well he's just a method actor isn't he Oh my gosh He was ever so nice though But he was more one of those people who he would He would sort of fix the toilet And you know some women have companions like that

Yeah So you didn't never have to take him on as Like a permanent stepdad No Fine That was obviously something you guys talked about And you navigated She didn't respond well to the wedding.

No. No, no. We knew that. But she bounced back. She did. We got married exactly nine months after we reconnected. And I mean, we wanted to get married, but also if Bobby was going to stay in the UK, we legally needed to be married. That was the easiest way.

But I think we always just assumed we'd be together forever. So it wasn't like a super traditional romantic wedding or anything. I think it was a little bit quick. And I thought, oh, is it worth bringing Violet to Copenhagen to do this wedding because she's going to be so upset? And then we decided like, yeah, it is worth bringing her. And she will be upset. And she sartorially objected to the wedding by wearing Gucci flip-flops and leggings.

But I didn't want her to look back a decade later and say, well, you didn't even have me at your wedding. Yeah. So I thought, no, we'll bring you and we'll let you kick off. and she wore Chanel sunglasses and a leather jacket and just kind of brooded around Tivoli Gardens having a little cry to herself for a few minutes and then she was fine she realized nothing really changed

and it's tricky you know because violet was going to grow up anyway and become a little bit distant from me as every young woman has to growing into her independence, but it's like, yeah, it sucks a little bit that she has friction now with a parent when she and I had none. But I mean, I don't know if that's girls and dads or just girls and stepdad or just Bobby and Violet.

Like, I don't know. I think it is just, I don't know, but my own personal experience of that, because I certainly had friction with my mom. Yeah. And I think in some ways, even though I think it's difficult to go through, I suspect if you don't go through that period of friction with a parent, it might be a sign that you're not totally individuating. Because when two continents separate, that doesn't happen without some fallout. Right. Do you mean, you can't do that without some rumblings?

And it's a period of adjustment. So I'm always a little bit suspicious. Not suspicious, that's wrong one, but I always worry a bit when people say, we've never had a crossword. You think, well, someone's not telling the truth here and is suppressing feelings. My thing with my mom now is if she tells me anything

that I already know or that she has told me before, I fly into a blind rage. And most of the stuff my mom tells me will be like feminist news from the 90s. She'll be like, well, you know, Catherine, fewer medical studies are done on women that. I'm like, I know that. Everybody knows that. Shut up.

And like, it's so unfair. You're still like a teenager. Yeah, I really regress around my mom. You know, Catherine, when I worked at the bank, I know this story already. Don't tell me again. That's true. How do you get home with Kath's mom, Bobby? We have a unique relationship.

well like when we're both like drinking we get on so well we're good buddies in that regard I get on very well can I just say with Julie oh yeah Julie loves you yes she does so one of the classic Julie lines came out of a meeting with Emily about Bobby oh yes she said do you know that no Kutstra has ever been to see alive musical theater production and it's true they don't like musicals we don't historically the Cootstra's you know we don't participate so what's the difference in Sarnia between your families? Well, Catherine's family was like musical theater and I was a jock.

So there's, I mean, her dad was kind of that way, but her dad was, her mom and dad divorced kind of when you're 13, 14. I mean, you were like better off, Kath, financially. Listen, I don't know about that, maybe a little bit. But also, my family are not from Sarnia. That's the difference. Right. Oh, where's your family from? Where's your family from? My family, my mother? Where is she from? Is from Toronto via Kitchener. Kitchener then? Yeah, but Kitchener in the 60s.

First of all, she was Miss Kitchener. Yes, it was not the meth lab that it is today. Okay. My mother was Miss Kitchener, 1976, by the way. Really? Yes. And my dad is from Ireland. So she did out like the Mennonites?

Pardon me? She beat out the Mennonites? She beat out all of the toothless Mennonites to triumph as a champion. But my dad is from Ireland, and I'm sorry. there is a difference. Well, my family is from... Your family are great, but their punctuation needs work.

No one in Canada is from the city that they're living in. Your family is very much from the city of Sarnia for generations. I grew up from my dad's side. It was a very Dutch side. Big family, lots of cousins, very religious, Christian, reformed Christian. And my mom was kind of a wild one. Well, she?

Yeah, she was probably like one of those like, cocaine models in the 80s or something. All right. And you look down on Miss Kitchener in 1976. But if you were a cocaine model in the 80s, I'm sorry? I said my mom had problems. My dad came from a very religious, like, big family. Do you have a cocaine model in the 80s?

Call me, because I love you. Pretty cool, actually. Well, it would have been the late 70s. Yeah, yeah, 70s. My sisters were born in 81 or 80, and I was born 83. So yeah, maybe late 70s. Do you think, because you grew up around a lot of women, didn't you? Because you had sisters and then obviously it became.

Yeah. An entirely female household. It was. I had three sisters and then my mom and that was kind of, that was it for a few years, although she was like kind of sleeping with my hockey coaches and stuff behind my back because I didn't know about. So that all came out later, which is, you would have thought I got a lot more ice time. I didn't. How do you think that changes you as a man? Being with women, I think it made me a bit more understanding of like how women operate. So I think I've got a better sense than a lot of other guys.

Certainly my age when I was a teenager dealing with females, I suppose. You just have a better understanding. Why do you think it works between you, too? Well, we're rich. I wasn't. We genuinely think that does make relationships a bit easier. Well, it takes away one problem that's, you know. Nice to see you.

And a lovely dog. A little black and white dog, so cute. What kind of dog is that? Is it collie or something? It's 100% collie. 100% collie. He got him during the lockdown. Hello, sweet.

Very patient with the little dogs. Yeah. He hates German shepherds. He's four years old. Me too. My friend doesn't like those. He had those growing up. Yeah.

It's scary for me. Oh, that's so kind of me to say. My wife's going to be jealous. Oh, good. We'll tell her I said hello. All right. See you. Oh yeah, let's do it.

Do you want me to take it? I'm pretty good at selfies. Catherine likes to operate the phone when she gets pictures from fans. She knows about the lighting. And she's like, I'll just do it myself. She's like, you know, our youngest, Fennah, the exact same energy. Thank you so much. Nice to see you.

Bye-bye. That's why it works. Bobby's always reminded that I have options. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Very popular with the dads. I really hope you love part one of this week's Walking the Dog.

If you want to hear the second part of our chat, it'll be out on Thursday, so whatever you do, don't miss it. And remember to subscribe so you can join us on our walks every week.