Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Katherine Ryan, Jonathan Ross, David Baddiel and more... 2024’s Best Bits!

Episode Date: January 2, 2025

Welcome back to the second part of our best bits from 2024! In this episode, you’ll hear clips from the following episodes: Katherine Ryan David Baddiel Tim Key Richard Arnold Pierre Novellie Jonathan Ross and Honey Ross Bella Mackie Ed Balls Layton Williams Luke Evans Click the links to listen to any of these episodes in full! Follow Emily: Instagram - @emilyrebeccadeanX - @divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Faye LawrenceMusic: Rich Jarman Artwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to our best bits of walking the dog from 2024. In the first half of this episode, we'll be treating you to Catherine Ryan, David Bedeal, Tim Key, Richard Arnold and Pierre Novelli. Let's kick off with one of Ray's faves. Here's Catherine. You see, Cathy, we've got three dogs today, and I'm starting to realise why your life is so crazy, having three kids. Three just gives you that little bit more admin. That's exactly it, is it's constant vigilance and assessment. And before we start, we should include the bit about the absolute loser who tried to claim that the street belonged to him and we weren't allowed to park there for our walk. Like, what an absolute jobs worth.

And you know what, am I petty enough to check the land registry on my way out? Of course I am. Of course I am. You know, no one parks in my drive. You know why? It's gated. If you want to act like a sultan, go move into a million, a billion-pound property in the middle of nowhere.

Otherwise, take your knocks. You know what I mean? We've all lived in a flat before. We've all has a park on the street. It's really set the wrong tone for the podcast today. Maggie. There's Megan. I think you've dispatched him very well.

Yeah, just with seething rage. All right. All right. All right. What I'd like is you said it in a tone of voice. It was just loud enough to be heard, but not that you could be accused of being passive aggressive. I'm not British.

I never will. be, I try to be polite now and then, but this business of just letting people walk all over you culturally, I'm not with it. Mani, now, I have a much better life than that guy. I got things to do in the day rather than police the street. So, I feel you've really moved on from there. You are one of the most direct people I've ever met. Yep.

I quite like it, though. Well, in an age where we talk about neurodiversity and all the rest, I think surely, I have, like, advanced autism, but then I don't. Because a lot of people message me, autistics, if you can call them that. And they're like, hey, you're autistic like me, and I go, I don't think so. And then I have said before, I think I might be a little bit autistic, and then it offends people who've taken it as a personality trait now. Mani, manny, manny.

They're like, no, you're not, I am, and I'm the only one who is. Shall we amble around this grass? Yeah, let's go on the grass. I think most creatives have some sort of neurodiversity, a present company included. Yeah, do you know, a lot of creatives will say to you, well some creatives will say, how come everyone says they've got ADHD or autism to which I say, no, it's just everyone in your community. Yeah.

Because generally people, it's neurodivergent, are attracted to this kind of world, I would say. Wait, we've lost two of the kids. Minnie! We'll get them on track. Let's go deep into the grass. It's so muddy, Catherine. I really apologize. I don't think it is.

Plus, I haven't worn, you know, shoes that can't be muddied. Kath. Oh, my God. It's going to get better. Oh, my God. Okay, we've just gone through some very muddy conditions. It reminds me of that children's book. We're going on a bear hunt.

Like, this is really it. We're in all the elements now. This is quite a dog walk. for two glamorous ladies with micro mini pets. Why is Megan here? She's in the bag because Megan is medically fragile. I mean, there was no shock there. You look at Megan.

She gets sick from her own shadow. One evening, it was a terrible week in November. Remember, remember, the 5th of November. I came home and Megan was like on death store. I'd been at a corporate. I'd been really busy that week. It was midnight, and Megan was breathing so quickly and really strange. And I knew then, thanks to medical dramas, casualty, etc.

I thought, uh-oh, these are signs of major distress. And I'm the type of person. I never go to the doctor myself. I don't rush my kids to the doctor, but I dialed the emergency pet number and I went, oh, this is serious. And I brought her into the after-hours vet. And they transferred her via pet ambulance.

to the Royal Veterinary College. And they were like, yeah, she's really, really sick. She might not make it through the night. And I was like, geez, prepared to lose Megan, really. And then they fixed her. They gave her Viagra. Yom. Because nothing you want.

Well, are you sure this was a vet you went to? Yes, yes. A witch doctor in the middle of the night. He said, Megan's problem is her erections are not lasting long enough. Viagra has many off-label uses. And she just has pulmonary. that's caused by some inflammation of the lungs. We don't know why. And then she never had another episode until recently. Bobby came home the other day and she was breathing the same way. Took her in. Same thing. They did a CT scan and she had all this damage in her lungs, but the damage isn't worse than it was before. It's just, it's weird. And then to find the cause of it, we'd have to do loads of investigations. So instead we just manage it with these drugs that she's on now. So she takes Viagra three times a day.

And both of those trips have cost like upwards of 5,000 pounds? I love that Megan takes me outgress three times a day. Yeah. She's so Hollywood executive. Look at Ray. No wonder you didn't want to come in the mud. Oh my God. Get him away from that sweater.

I know. I'm wearing a prada sweater that Catherine bought me. I don't know what to do. We don't have a towel. I'm worried about this level of mud on Ray. Yeah. So. I mean, I won't mince words.

He looks like shit. He looks, he's really suffering. He has such long, luxurious hair. And this is, I think, what a lot of women with super long, thick hair would want people to know, is that, yeah, it's all glossiness and glamour on the outside. But on the inside, they're shaving three times a day. They've got hairy legs, bikini wax is a nightmare. Well, no, I know what you mean, the Kardashian.

Yeah. Yeah, and that's what Ray is. He's essentially a Kardashian. And then there are little hiccups like this one where he can't go on a muddy walk. Well, this is what I think. We've come out, I should say where we are. We're in Hertfordshire, a beautiful Hertfordshire,

which is Catherine Ryan's Manor. Yeah. And I suggested meeting you in a field, like we were going to have a duel in the sort of 19th century. Like gentlemen. Yeah, like gentlemen. And it's so muddy, Cass, because it's been raining a bit. But I think we're going to have to head back to yours.

Are you comfortable with that? Of course. Mine's just around the corner and Bobby has just redone the grass. It's half an acre. So to you and me, you know, not a very exciting dog walk. But to the littles, that's enough. We've got small dogs and they don't need all this space, do they? We could do this episode on a treadmill.

A very slow moving. Are you going to give me a bath when we get back? Yes. So Catherine's just said she's going to stay marked on her drive back to hers. With most guests, you'd think, oh, what if we record them saying something with Catherine? It's fine, because anything she would say privately she would say on the podcast. Am I right? I'll make a phone call to the bank.

Did you like being interviewed by Louis Thru? I really liked it. I saw him the other day with Jimmy, and he was dressed very hip-hop for some reason. He had a little black beanie on. It was nighttime. It was indoors. And I thought, all right, Louis-Thoreau. I really respect his work.

I was lucky that I was so preoccupied with other things that I didn't really let it sink in. Like, oh, Louis Thru is going to be in my business for four full days. I had no preoccupations about being, or I had no, what's it called? I had no worries about being caught out because Louis is famously really disarming. And he gets people to really weave their own web and like make themselves look stupid sometimes. times and Bobby was a little bit scared of that. He's like, oh, I don't want to be tricked by Louis Thruh. But I'm so overconfident.

I just feel like, A, no one can ever trick me. And B, like, I just, I think I was too honest for Louis Thruheer that he couldn't do his usual schick of like, and then what happened? I'm like, then I sucked him off so that I could leave early. Next question, I didn't really understand. I liked it, though, Kath. I thought it was a really, I thought what he did, which I thought was cleverer is He knew he wasn't going to get anything new out of you because you put it all out there.

But he gave the sort of essence of you. He did. You know, which I liked. He got your energy. He understood you, I thought. He got you. He's great. And I love that production company and everything they're doing.

And they were so transparent about the interview. They were like, oh, come to our offices and you can have a screening of the interview. And anything you really don't like, let us know. And I loved it all. And I knew, because he asked me certain questions that I knew we're going to, to get in the press about historical outing of predators or whatever you want to call it. I knew Bobby was like, oh my gosh, you've got to stop answering those questions. But I left it in because I just thought, oh, it would be fine.

Little did I know I was going to be in the news every day for a while again. But it was fine. Like he handled it really respectfully and the family all looked good in it. It was adorable. And there was only one interview, actually. I did a podcast for someone who started asking me about money, and she was like, how much money do you have? And I told her, I was like, well, I just learned about pensions and I says,

and that you can tax, shelter a certain amount every year by putting money in those. So I put money in those this year before April 5th. And then I have this much savings, and I have this much in the business. She's like, do you have a mortgage? I was like, yep, it's this much. Like, I didn't care because I was. What was his HMRC podcast? I know, I did the HMRC.

But then I spoke to my PR. This week on HMRC, I'm chatting to Kath Ryan about her return. Well, again, like, I have nothing to hide. I pay HMRC all the fucking money they ask for and probably more than I should. So I just have nothing to hide, but then my PR was like, you really shouldn't be telling, like, for your own family's sake. Like, you can't tell everybody exactly how much money you have and where it is. And I was like, oh.

Sorry, you needed your PR to tell you that. Well, I don't care. Like, I have more money than I ever thought I would have. and I pay all the taxes I'm supposed to, so I really didn't mind, but that would have made British people very uncomfortable. And she's a very posh British person, actually. She'd never tell you how much money she has, so I was surprised she was even asking me. But again, she was trying to ask me a question that I wouldn't answer, because she was like, oh, you'll answer anything, won't you? And I went, yep.

And she was like, what's your mortgage? And I was like, well, it's with RBC, and we've paid this much and there's this much left. And she was like, hmm, how much money do you have in your savings? I was like, currently this much. Just because I don't give a shit at all. I think men care about certain things like baldness doesn't bother women. Does it bother you in a romantic relationship? Yeah.

Someone being bald? Yeah. Well, it does. But Bobby's not bold? He's not, but I'm trying to work men out all the time, especially now as I've created one, and I've welcomed an adult one into my home. And I never thought I'd have to work men out, but I'm always kind of observing. I'm very curious.

Baldness bothers you, not for what it is, but for what it signifies and how it's handled and what that means in terms of character. And I don't think women actually care about baldness. We care about character. Similarly, I don't think women care about penis size. I was thinking of a walking the dog way to say that, but you know. You can say penis size. We don't care about that.

Right. It's got no secrets. No, poor Ray. I don't like poor Ray. I don't like poor Ray when you're talking about penis size. Is it big? It's absolutely, he's got a micro penis. Oh, no, but proportionally.

I don't mind that he's got a micro penis. Of course you don't, but. If I had a son, I'd want that for him because then he'd never leave me. Yeah, micropenus son would be a ace. Maybe one will never leave me, he's got a micro penis. Great. And that is because penis size only matters, like baldness, to other men. It's like a language within their.

own community where we like a guy with a big dick not because we want the stitis every other week but because we know that he's confident he grew up with other men respecting him he has lived a different life because of what that big penis means in his own demographic and so this golf business and being tall and all this other stuff like I don't really understand the language of men but it seems like all the stuff that they use to determine who else they respect like It's just confusing for me because I don't care about any of it. So there's a long way around to explain Bobby and my dad,

probably not because of their penises or hair, but they both probably, well, my dad does have a big penis. I've seen it accidentally, but it was blasted. Thankful. I mean, I'm not in a Nickelodeon documentary, but it was big. And Bobby has a pretty big dick. They both have a lot of hair.

They're both good at golfing. Like, I don't really know the language of man, but this is why they get along. It was big. It was horrible because I had returned from a flight. I've always been a cosmopolitan child. I was nine years old. I was flying from our city, small airport, to Toronto

to spend the weekend with my uncle. And my parents didn't want to drive me. And I went on this 45-minute flight alone at nine years old. And on the way back, it was late at night because the flight was delayed. My mother picked me up from the airport, which was just 15 minutes. from the house. And when I got home, because it was late, my dad woke up to, like, greet me and say, like, welcome back from Toronto. And he sort of stumbled out of the room half asleep,

and he was wearing boxers. And he came to hug me. I bet he was doing a lot of stumbling. Yeah. Carrying that around. I mean, he's six foot five. So, so he came to greet me and say, like, welcome back. And his, I didn't know that boxers had, like, a flap. And his dick was, like, hanging out of his boxers when he came to say, that's when I saw it. That's the only time I've ever seen it. And I was like, damn, ugh, hello. And I was only small, so it was an awkward hug.

But you asked. When you say you asked, I didn't say, has your dad got a big dick? Well, you asked me if he was well liked in the community. And my answer to that is... It was to go off on some tangent about the time you saw his penis. Louis-the-Rue didn't get that treatment. Well, I don't know what makes men popular.

We're doing an exciting thing, listeners, dogwise, which is down the road from here, lives Frank Skinner of Fantasy Football and Benilla Skinner, unplanned fame. I don't know if you need to that caveat. And, of course, the show that you were on, sorry to mention it, I know it's recently been taken off the air, but the radio show that he used to do with him.

Anyway, he lives down the road. And yesterday he came round. I don't know when this goes out, but we watched the terrible England performance against Denmark. He came around to watch that. At the end of it, he said, oh, you're doing Emily's podcast, you can borrow my dog. That's so nice of him. Yeah, it is nice. And Ray has previous with Poppy. Can they get on? And they get on. I mean, as far as... I'm going to put clips on. Is that... Is that really... What's clips?

So, it's a sunny day, and I have clips, like the sunglasses clips. And I don't... Because my dad used to have these. I do you know, I've never seen anyone with... that in the wild. I've only seen in the back of those magazines you've got in the back of a newspaper, those supplements. Yeah, yeah. And I think no one wears them at all anymore. But I'm intrigued to see what they look like. I think they work pretty well. What do you think? Let's see. Slightly ridiculous. It's really not that terrible. Yeah, I think it's okay. And the point is these are my glasses. So I'm now seeing properly. Okay, shall we go?

Oh, Dave. Let's go. I called you Dave. The only other person to call you Dave is Frank Skinner. Well, actually, some of my old, old friends do as well. But basically it's Franks, you know. One other thing, before we get the dog, get Poppy, is that Frank said, oh, you can have Poppy. And I said, okay, that'd be lovely. And then he said, and I think the, you know, people will like that because he said, I think people like to know that we're still mates.

And then he said, I think people think we're not. Which I don't know. When I get in taxes sometimes, you know, have to deal. with weather or not it's coming home, then later on they will say, do you see anything of Frank Skinner? And I say he lives in my road. And that does seem to, you know, gee people up, they seem to be pleased about that. I would describe you as unusual in some ways, unusually close for people that have worked together so intensely so long, yeah. Well, we haven't worked together for quite long time, so that might be a key to it. No, but... We haven't, we haven't actually worked here. I mean, Kate, we've done

the odd interview together and the odd appearance together, but in terms of actually working on a show together. But how many doors away from each other do you live? Well, I'm sure I mentioned this last time. I'll mention it again because it is quite unusual. So we used to live together in a flat around here, the same very, very near here. I bought a flat and Frank was homeless, basically,

because he'd been chucked out of his house in Birmingham by his wife and was just at the point at that point in time, a comedian. on the camera circuit. So I gave him a room. Ray. Ray! Can you call Ray, David? Ray.

Ray. What's Ray doing? I think he's doing a poo. Oh. I guess that's part of the whole thing. I can't see a poo, David. Okay, this is my road, so I will probably get blamed

if there's dog poo on the road, unclared. Oh, it dropped out of his bum after the fact. Is that it? Is that it? there. So for people, I'll paint a little word picture. He stopped at a tree with a lot of great areas to shit in with bushes and all that. Then his poo was actually halfway down the pavement. No one understands how that happens. Like a magic tree. He's got his own mind.

Oh, now he's doing some weird kind of shaking things. That's part of the magic trick. Sort of Paul Daniels flourish. Come on, Ray. Oh, there's a child there. The child's going to love Ray. Children love him. Get struck by poo that's rolling down the hill because he just puts it anywhere. But anyway, so we lived together in a flat for like six years, during which time I was already famous, but Frank then became famous and I never put his rent up. I think I always mentioned that. And then I moved out and bought a house in Belsize Park.

It was number one. It was number one on that road. I might as well say now, so I don't live in England's Lane. and then Frank bought number five in was that. And now I've moved somewhere else, and he's bought a house about ten doors down. It's like a very expensive form of stalking. Did he ever discuss it with you?

No. He just buys houses, me and me. I love it. Well, it is a sign of your lovely friendship, I think. Right, come on, Ray. I think we're at Frank's. He knows Frank's house because he comes here often. Yeah.

So he will get excited. Come on Ray. Oh, Poppy's already excited. Oh, can you hear poppies? Yeah, poppies already. Listen to that. Oh, it's Kath. Hi.

Hello. This is Kath, Frank's partner. Oh, Cass, you're being recorded, so don't say any. Cass should show me a Jewish thing to make me feel better at myself. I'm so sorry. Hi, Cass. Right, Frank can take over. Hi, look who it is.

Well, Frank's going to. I should warn you you're being recorded. Okay. I should say this is a rare. appearance of the deal and Skinner. Frank, I really want to hug you, but I'm clutching a poo. David. Yeah, well, don't call me that.

Do you want some poo bags? Since the radio show stopped, I've been struggling a bit, so it would help if you could donate. This is so lovely of you to let us borrow Poppy. What a brilliant idea. It's good for her to do the walk. Thank you. Can you bring you out.

Do you have anything I need to know? No, feel free to let her off the lead. Okay. anything we need to know she's she's got a chip so she disappears not really I wouldn't know I tried but there's so much blood and that I just couldn't face it are you sure it's okay to let her off the lead yeah well I let her off the lead she comes back eventually but she knows you yeah but she knows me or Emily are you confident with day she recognises our double-hacks status well even of many years

she was born when we were properly on the telly no no so Certainly not. Are you confident with David as a dog handler? Yeah, I mean he's very catish as a course. Yes, we know this. I like the idea of like having Poppy and having this. This good, this whole lead thing, because when you have a cat, they just go wherever they like. So the idea you can control it a bit.

I quite like that. Light review. The dog lead. A light review. They used to clever, aren't they? Yeah, you know, I stopped by running away. Stop by running away to kick that on. Yeah, that's true.

Thanks for telling me that. So Poppy and Ray will be fine. Yeah. They'll be fine. She's a lovely calm dog. What she does, which might be able, if you pass groups of dogs that look menacing, walking away that she can use you as a human shield.

I am slightly worried. No, no, don't be worried. It's very, very sweet dog. That's good. She knows who she is. She knows who she is. Yeah. Nice to see you all.

Nice to see you. We'll see you later when we return Popper. Love you. We'll see you soon. Which way are we going this way? Oh actually this way's quicker to the Heath. If we're going to Heath, this way's quicker. It's nice to see you guys.

I know. So will you be in about an hour? Yeah, yeah. All right. See you later. Have fun. Bye. Come on, Popper.

I find your friendship very wholesome. It is wholesome. Look, thanks looking out as Poppy leaves. Do you think he's worried? He doesn't seem to be. I'm more worried than he is. He seems to be fine about it, but I instantly felt a certain sense of, oh my God, because, you know, it is a wholesome friendship, but I think you'll know that Frank doesn't take kindly to things going, you know, that he feels wrong, and losing his dog will definitely be in the

Venn diagram of wrong. I hope you're comfortable with me mentioning this. We'll soon find out. But David had a birthday recently. Yeah, I find with that. Prior to the event, lovely invitation, and then he followed up the invitation. A few weeks later saying, I'm paraphrasing here, but he essentially said, it had the tone of, look, I'm getting a bit worried because it's getting a bit oversubscribed. So please don't worry if you can't come.

Well, you're not paraphrasing, that's basically exactly what I said. Yeah, okay. And then at the end you said, hopefully you won't all be crushed today. death. Yeah. But what actually happened was, this is again typical, is I'm very, I'm quite a thinking person, you would agree with that, but I have something which is unusual for a thinking person, which is I do stuff immediately and without really thinking about them, right? I think fast, but I don't then double think much. I don't think back on it. And I couldn't be bothered to spend ages finding a venue for my 60th birthday party. So, it's 60. So I just chose a very nice place,

which is quite near here, quite near where I live, without asking what the limit was for people. And then I just started inviting people, and then I found out the limit was about 100 people, and I'd gone well over that already. So I panicked a bit and sent an email saying, and I thought some people won't want to come, but they might feel a little bit embarrassed about saying at this stage

that they don't want to come, I'll let them off that hook. And I know, just, I know this is wrong. And so I said, like, if you don't want to come, can't make it, don't worry, just tell because we're already a bit over the limit, and I don't want to have a party where people get crushed to death. Yeah, but you ended the email crushed to death, David. It was quite upsetting. You're missing something quite key, which is I then,

and this is how Molyner exists with me, I then sent it, and after I'd sent it, she said, what are you doing? And I said, I read out the email to me. I said, what the fuck, you're such an idiot. You can't do that. You can't send it a thing out to people saying, don't come. Like if you, it's a bit, like there'll be too many people, please don't come, to a party.

So then I had to send another one saying, I know. Saying, I'm not saying don't come. Which she was absolutely right, by the way, because within the space of time, it was about four minutes, I'd got a text from Nick Hancock saying, oh, I can not come if it's easier for you. I really want to come, but if it's easier, I won't come. But even in that email, even in the explaining email, you gave away too much. You started it saying, well, when I said. I did, yeah.

I should send this email because she was a bit upset. Well, it says it's gauche and rubbish for me to send an email telling everyone. If I was when, I'd have thought, why have you told them that? Well, because for me, you see, that's so interesting, because I think you're right, Moena would have thought exactly that. Yeah. I think my basic default position is tell, say everything that's happening all the time. That's my basic default position.

Say everything that's happening. That's a beautiful animal. Oh, he's lovely, isn't it? That's a great visual game. It's coming home. Thank you. It's not, is it, by the way? Dog.

Have we started? Yeah. Come on, Doggy. He hasn't got any bigger, is he? Let's put it that way. Do your listeners, are they sort of on top of what he looks like? Yeah. How would you describe him? He is what he is. That's the best I can say.

Look, some of your makeup's on the floor. Oh yeah. I mean this isn't very professional start, is it? No, you wouldn't catch Parky with his lipstick on the floor. Oh, look at this fella. Oh yeah, big dog. Lovely dog? Yeah, that's a good dog.

I forgot about this podcast that you have to constantly reference all the dogs, you see. What, do you not like... I like dogs. But do you not like small talk? Well, in general? Oh yeah, I'm a classic for darkening the eyes. My friend, he can't bear it when we go walking in the late district. He's really chirpy with everyone.

You know, when he sort of come across someone on a mountain, he's just sort of hello, all of that stuff. And I just, you know, get my head down. Come here. He's got a very expressive face, Ray, hasn't it, Tim? Yeah, he does, actually. What does he remind you of? I've had him compared to all sorts of things in the past.

Ed Miliband said he was a toupee. Alistair Campbell said he was a bog brush. Deck, maybe? Deck? A little bit? What do you think? From Anton Deck. Is there any other? You're right.

Yeah, there's a bit of deck, isn't it? Dex, I think Deck's very inquisitive. I think Deck is, have you met Deck? I bet you have. Yeah. What's deck like? I, only briefly, but he had a very good energy. Yeah, I bet. Have you met him? No, I'd love to meet Deck. Do you know what? I would hand back everything I've ever done in my life to meet Deck.

And I'd hand back all the people I've met, including, up to and including Frank, just to have 15 minutes with Deck. What was your early stuff like? I'd love to see it. I mean, you won't be able to see it. I had maybe ten things they had to say. and you go on stage and talk for five minutes. Doggy! That dog just jumped up and tried to bite your dog. I didn't like it. No, he has to go now.

Do you know, I always get an instinct and I'm not usually right. I knew he'd be trouble. Yeah. He's not one of us, is he, that dog? I knew he was trouble when he walked in. Yeah. We were talking about your comedy when you started out. What sort of things would you talk about originally before you'd found your comic voice?

I used to say dolphin-friendly tuna. Yeah, I don't care how well they get on with dolphins. I quite like that. Yeah, yeah, well, I could have done with you maybe in the audience. Do you think you'll ever get a dog, Tim? Yeah, probably. What would you get? What type?

Labrador. Well, I'll tell you what, a dog that I've always quite enjoyed is the old husky. But I don't know much about them. Do they need snow or something? No, but they can be, their lovely dogs. Gary Lineca's got a part Husky. He's got a, I don't know what they're called it, so husky and a bit of German Shepherd.

Right. He was a brilliant player, wasn't he? Garolinaica. My parents got me out of bed, and I got to watch him score his hat trick against Poland. Never booked? Never booked, no.

Three against Poland, and then the next match, they got me out of bed again. He only goes and gets two against Paraguay. Is Garalinica one of your favourite players? Oh God, yeah. I had a poster of him in my bedroom with his little broken wrist. Do you know he's going to love this? He won't. He won't. He must get it all the time.

Him sliding in, Jimmy Hill going mad on comms. Those were the days, weren't they? Now he's taken over podcasting. Weird that, isn't it? Maybe I'll get another poster of him now in the sort of sound room, the engineer. Have you got one of him in a board room? I can go. Maybe what it proves is if you're good at one thing, you can be good at anything.

That's true. Whatever he turns his mind to. Who are the other great people at doing that, the second career? Oh yeah. You? No, I think mine's just one big lump. Race met a Pomeranian. Oh, that's quite good.

That's a lot of fur. Do you think they know that they're both very furry? Yeah, they must do. They're living with it. It's their lived experience. Do you know you've got sort of medium-length brown hair? But they... Yeah, but it doesn't make me run over and start smelling the bum of someone with medium-length brown hair.

No, you've been very disciplined. What's your dog called? Is it booboo? Booboo. Booboo, Ray. So this is how it ends. Ray and boo-boo. Started off as Tim Kear and Emily Dean, ends up with Ray and boo-boo.

Whatever the subject is, and by that I mean the point, person you're interviewing, whoever you're interviewing from whatever walk of life. You know, you treat them with respect. You can top and tail any chat in your own style, but you have to let the subject do the speaking really and tell their story because everyone's got a story worth listening to. Fact.

I mean, the reason I still enjoy it after all these years is that no interview is the same. And I also love... This is back to my original point about being edge of frame and being the observer. I love the theatre around an interview. But I love witnessing all of that. because generally most people will behave when you turn a camera on.

Wow. Not everybody, obviously, but most people do. And if they don't, then they damn themselves, don't they? But you're, I imagine, those women with big personalities and big reputations, Mariah Carey, Barbara Streisand. Yes, I said Streisand. I know. Strysand.

I think you would be very good with them. So Mariah. The Mariah's story was, yeah, we flew out to interview Mariah Carey. And as we were saying earlier about the fact that, you know, sometimes these interviews, they can be quite short. So you have to sort of manage your expectations. But we'd flown all the way over from London to Vegas to interview her. And lovely producer John said to me, oh, Richard, I've just been told that Mariah will be standing. And I immediately thought, oh, my goodness me, is this basically a stick mic on the side of a red carpet?

And they've flown us all the way out here to interview Mariah Carey. I wasn't expecting an audience as such with Mariah Carey, but we were expecting like a junker of at least, you know, eight minutes or so. And I said, John, you've got to go and tell him. It's got to be a sit-down interview. Anyway, John, bless his heart, comes back, ashen face. He said, Rich, he said, no, they've said that Mariah will be standing, but she's happy for you to sit.

And I thought I had no idea what I was going into. And then as I turned the corner, Mariah, God bless her, was in this sort of heavily boned, sort of fish tails sort of outfit. You know, sequence everywhere, obviously, but, you know, definitely figure-hugging. And so she couldn't have sat down if she tried. So that was the rub.

And so when I went in, I was standing and she was standing. And it actually turned up to be a great interview. She's an absolute star. Totally gets it, as you can imagine. And I remember at the end of the interview, and it was an interesting mechanic, actually, because when you're standing and interviewing someone, It's not confrontational as such,

but sometimes if you're sat down on a comfy sofa, you sort of drift off and go off on a tangent or whatever like that. But it actually turned up to be quite a great chat. And then I said at the end of the interview, I said, oh, Mariah said, well, I've come all this way. We've got to have a picture at which point all of Mariah's people looked at Mariah,

and Mariah, of course, was absolutely fine with it, but everybody around was sort of going, oh my goodness me, he's going to approach her, and I went in and I stood next door, and I went, blind me, Mariah. I said, it's like the stairway to heaven. I'd never seen, it was like the light of seven

sons. It was absolutely extraordinary. But again, that's what I love about my job and I'm very fortunate and it hasn't always been Mariah Carey's and Barbara Streisand's and the late great Tony Bennett to name But a Few. You know, it's been a, it's been interviewing, oh, everybody really. Mom's so funny, bless her. She's always like, have you met him? What they like? Have you met her? Is she all right? You know what mum's doing? Dad's doing. God bless them. I said, yeah, mum, lovely. Yeah.

And I do spend a lot of my time with my mum now because I care for her during the day when I'm not working. And, yeah, she'll fixate on someone going, yeah, you're sure about them? Yes, ma'am, lovely people. Lovely, mum. It's so funny. You know, and I love that. I wanted to ask about your mum. Yeah, she's not.

How is she doing, Richard? He's not as robust as she used to be. Certainly in spirit, thank goodness. And for that I'm very grateful for, but she's not as independent now. So I'm very lucky the geography of where she's at and I'm at and where the studios are and wherever else I'm working in London, we can manage it. And every morning I get up on the way to the studio,

I stop off, make sure her hot water bottle is hot and make her a cup of tea. then she's like, you're going to be late. I said, no, I'm fine, Mum, it's right. God bless her, she's only been up in London eight years since Dad died, right? So I moved her up because I thought, right, come on, mum, we'll go through this together. And we've always been very close. And I was like, right, Mum, don't worry about it. But she's got no sense of geography, so she doesn't know that the studio is only like 10 minutes away.

I said, Mum, I'm going to be fine. And this is a woman who still knows what her 54-year-old son is wearing to school every day. Do you know what I mean? Because she sees you on telly, as well. Yeah, exactly. So she does watch her every morning. And when I'm on the show, a carer goes in. And then I get to her sort of in the middle of the day, make sure she has some lunch,

and then cook for her in the evening and put her to bed. Is this every day you do this? I do this every weekday and end at the weekend. I do get a carer in. You're having to juggle caring with your career, aren't you? Yeah. You know, I'm very fortunate that I've got the time to do it. you know, there are many that struggle a lot more with balancing, you know, caring and a career or a full-time job.

So I'm lucky that I'm able to do it. But it's a choice as well in many respects because I want to make sure that she's getting a cooked meal in the evening and it's not just something that's microwave with the best will in the world. Look, we're not talking gourmet. She's getting an egg and bacon tonight, girl, on a mighty white. But she loves it. Do you know what I mean? You're such a lovely sonnet.

It makes me cry, actually. Well, no, it's a two-way street. She's given up the best years of her life for me. Tell me, I know you mentioned you lost your dad. I'm really sorry because that was, what was that about 2016, was it? Yeah, Brexit. That was Brexit. You were saying.

Yeah. It's eight years. Yeah. It's eight years. And it was, was it quite sudden? Very sudden. Yeah, very sudden. And it was out, I was out, I just got to Italy with two friends of mine, Judy and Mal, a great couple, early 70s.

We've had some capers over the years. Anyway, we'd gone to do a little bit of a shop for the house, you know, as you do when you arrive somewhere. And then I'd left my phone behind, and that's that awful moment when you look at the phone. First of all, the alarms were going off in the house because the friend who was looking after Clemmy didn't realize that she couldn't roam all over the place

when he set the alarm. And then at the end of it, there was like a message from a cousin that said, you must call home. And that's when I found out. And I remember going out into the garden of this house. And I felt the biggest rush of love I have ever felt my entire life. I felt like I was lifted off the floor by about a foot and then put back down. It was, I get goosebumps now.

I've been thinking about it. It was extraordinary. It was like the last hug from my dad just going, all right, son, you've got this and put me down. It was unbelievable. I told the story. It was in the eulogy that I'd. I read it at Dad's funeral and so many people came up to me

and said, oh, I've had a similar experience. Like, I mean, and then of course you have the grief and as we know that, that comes in waves and there are all sorts of stages of that. But we were very close, Dad and I, he'd be texting me all the time on his burner, you know. And we had a similar sense of humour. But, yeah, I'll never forget that as long as I live.

I know that seems silly because obviously it's the day your dad died, but it was the feeling. It was just like it was the most extraordinary feeling. Genuinely felt like I've been lifted off the ground. And what's your last memory of him, Richard? Do you remember? Yes, I do because it was shortly after Father's Day.

And he left his Father's Day card behind. Thank you. Thank you very much. He'd left his Father's Day card behind, which I didn't realize until after he'd left. paid for lunch that day and I said but dad it's father's day he said no son I want to get this and then he swept the steps outside the house said rich this is how you do it and then he gave me a hug and I can remember his earlobe now we all know that things get lower and bigger as we get

older right my nose is becoming quite impressive like my late fathers and my earlobes are starting to grow and I just remember kissing his earlobe that's the last memory um So a very happy memory in many respects. There was nothing left unsaid. But it does make you think, oh, I wonder if, you know, you get a sense of it. If you're about to, you know, make a sharp exit. And then the relationship with your mum shifts enormously,

obviously because you step up to, or you have to sort of try and convince them that, mum, that, look, I can, I'm able to step up and deal with this. But of course, she doesn't want that on your shoulders, and she's mourning her childhood sweetheart. So, but here we are, you know, I'm so glad that not every woman at 79 would leave their original hometown and move up to London. I want to tell you something which is, I think we might have mentioned earlier,

that you and I, Rich, obviously, know each other of old, and we first encountered each other through some mutual friends. And I remember we ended up on some trip together to Glasgow. Yeah. What was strange? We didn't really know each other that well. No. But I remember there was one time, I've never forgotten this.

I still tell people about it. When people say, when is the most you've ever laughed in your entire life? And I remember finding myself in a chip shop with you. It was the chip shop around the corner from Versace, wasn't it? That is so well remembered. We were on our knees. I have never. I say to people, this is the most I've ever laughed.

Honestly, in my entire life. We were laughing so hard. It was the only time in my life that I've physically collapsed from laughter. I was slumped. We were slumped on the floor we were laughing so hard. It was... But you know what I remembered about that? I couldn't tell you what we said.

No. What was so funny, but it's that great Maya Angelou quote, which is you forget what people said, you forget what they did, but you will never forget how they made you feel. And you made me feel, frankly incontinence but you made me feel

so happy and I never forgot that and whenever I look at you if I see you on TV or it it makes me feel happy we should point out that we haven't seen each other for quite some time but I do remember that moment and whenever I do remember moments like that

they're always in Technicolor and it's almost like you can remember the scene from like a favourite film or a sitcom or whatever you're watching so I do remember it And I do remember I ordered a Snoke's sausage supper as much I do remember. You had a fairly late diagnosis, and it was due to heckle, wasn't it? Yes, I was heckled.

The book, Why Can't I Just Enjoy Things? It's the title of the book, because it was also the title of a show, Why Can't I Just Enjoy Things, where it's pre-diagnosis, and I genuinely just wanted to write a show about how exploring comedically, how, you know, I don't like going on holiday very much, or in the same way or there's all these things everyone else loves that I don't and why is that ha ha so it's a pretty innocent premise and then I was doing a performance of it in Bristol and this guy sort of piped up and said we just sound like me and I said what do you mean and he said

well I have Asperger's and I just think you have Asperger's and normally with Heckels you can ignore them but the thing is is that he didn't mean it in a rude way he was pointing out he had it as well and he just thought yeah you just everything you're saying is exactly what I think and yeah so like a heckles He just got me. So I went off and investigated and he was right. Very strange. That's why I can't just enjoy things in the normal way.

Probably one of the reasons why we get on so well is we're both a little bit funny. Yes. I was diagnosed with ADHD. Yes, so you're in the gang as well. I'm in the gang. When people say to me, well, everyone's got that now, I sort of think, in my experience anyway, generally, people who are, desperately hunting, spending years, hunting out a diagnosis and trying to convince themselves

and everyone else they've got it, probably don't have it. It's actually, we are generally the last to know. Yes. Because we don't question the total abnormality of living like this. In the way that, you know, we don't say, oh my God, I turned up, you know, I turned up to an event a week early last week in my case. If you didn't have ADHD and you did that three times in one month, you'd go see your GP, you'd be afraid for yourself. Whereas I get it. Yeah. In the same way that like I would say to people, you know, what do you mean? I just, you just remember, you know. It's an interesting book about the 12th century. You read it and you remember it forever. Forever and ever, word for word. And people, nope. That's not true.

Or you don't, oh, you'd say to people, you know how you have to train yourself to look people in the eyes because it's a bit like looking at the sun. And they'd go, what? You go, okay, fine. That's not novel. Okay, then. You talk about masking. Yes. Which I'm fascinated by. Which is when you hide your autism through learned behaviours.

So can you give us an example of how... I suppose training yourself to make eye contact would be one. I never found it as difficult as some autistic friends of mine have found it. Do you, for example, I don't know, Pierre, I was just thinking, would it be something like if someone gives you a compliment and you don't know how to respond? Do you hear how other people respond to compliments? Yeah, I would imitate.

Right. Yeah, that's a good example actually. I did have to learn how to take a compliment. Another good example is, especially if you're like me and you know lots of weird trivia that you're not really supposed to know. I used to preface it with I think or I'm not sure but. And I was sure, Emily. I was sure because I remembered it.

People would find it unsettling. They go, oh, how do you remember that? They'd be a bit weirded out by it. It wasn't good to be a sort of computer brain history nerd, or at least it wasn't admired. It was good for your exams. I would say you are, you're kind of Mark Zuckerberg trapped in the body of the Winkleby twins.

What, the rowers? They were rowers, weren't they? I would love to have a rowers body. What do I mean, I'm not specifically talking about your body here. No, no, no. There's a hulking aspect. to me that is a bit, it is a lot more continental or American

than it is British. You don't look like a nerd? No, I look like a rugby man. If I saw you and knew nothing about you and didn't know about the obsession with the medieval castles or whatever, I would probably look at you and think oh he's a bit of a jock

and he probably works for, you know, J.P. Morgan. Consultancy. Yeah, yeah. That guy's got boat shoes. Do you think partly why we you got on because we couldn't be more different. It's because we're both a bit, our neurodivergences kind of work with each other. Yes, and it's a very common, it's a very common pattern apparently. ADHD and autistic friend duo. Very common. I think it's like maybe I'm like a sort of

enormous autistic hippo and you're one of those sort of birds that lives on top of the hippo. That's the Autism-A-D-HD friend combo. Okay, I'm seeing where you're playing me in the old power structure. But, you know, I do feel that. I feel safe with autistic people. I don't know why, but I feel they ground me. They make me feel safe. Well, I think it's stuff like you and I both have sound sensitivities of different kinds.

And if you have them, then that means. that you take them seriously even if you don't share the exact one. So you might be sensitive to a sound that I don't mind. But because I know how bad it can be with my own version, I'm instantly fine with turning something off or moving away from the sound. Whereas if you're neurotypical and you've just got no idea what the hell someone's on about, then there'll be a few minutes of awkward, socially awkward arguing, and what do you mean that sound, or what sound?

And, ugh, it's just a big, unpleasant, uh, a waste of time when you could be spending that time moving away from the horrible sound. So I think that's why it makes you more empathetic to sort of slight oddnesses if you have some of your own. Do you think it makes you better at spotting neurodivergency in other people? Yes, I do think that, but I wouldn't have been as good before diagnosis. Now that I've done all the reading for the book and stuff and also just for myself, I can spot it pretty well. Be honest.

Could you tell something was a little bit funny with me? I knew you had sound sensitivity and stuff that was the same as me. It's not just sound sensitivity. Come on, Pierre. Sound sensitivity and particularities, you know, things be a certain way.

I wouldn't have been able to pin it exactly to ADHD. I don't know ADHD as well. But you knew I was in a bit neurodivergent, maybe. Yeah, but I think also, that's one of the things about the creative industries is that it's so many of us. I'd say it's a majority, 60% or something, maybe more. Well, whenever someone who works in our industry says,

oh God, everyone seems to be getting diagnosed with it now. Yeah. How come everyone I know has ADHD or autism? Do you know what I say? How come everyone at Train Club has autism? This is so ridiculous. Everyone at the Stamp Collecting Guild, everyone at the maths club.

Obviously, come on. Really hope you're enjoying the second part of our best bits of 2024. Coming up now we have Jonathan Ross and Honey Ross, Bella Mackey, Ed Balls, Layton Williams and Luke Evans. Here's Honey and Jonathan and Ray Ray. Your dad, certainly my memory of him when you were growing up, was that he was, I mean, I think it's fair to describe him as an entertaining character. Definitely.

How dare you? He would sometimes create, he was a step dad that would always be playing games and things like that, wasn't he? Yes, such a fun dad. So, for example, there was one particular game, which I remember him playing, which involves a doll called Evil Baby. Evil Baby. Oh, I wasn't sure which game you were going to mention. I wasn't sure it was going to be Evil Baby or Monster. Monster was actually my preference.

Evil Baby. Evil Baby wasn't really a game. Evil Baby was more like a form of free therapy I was handing out to all of you. Exposure therapy? Yeah. Well, Dad, you were the kind of master of evil baby. Do you want to explain? No, I'll be interested in here.

Yeah. I would be interested here. Both of you describe evil baby and then I can clear up a few truths for you, son. So evil baby with a small plastic baby you had won in a fairground game, if I'm correct. Maybe. I can't remember where the baby originally did.

He was like a small kind of little spooky baby. I think he had like a spider web on his face, like a little in white. paint, Evil Baby would talk to us and tell us kind of somewhat unwelcome truths, I'd say. Evil Baby would call you out on things that maybe you weren't yet ready to address. I think he was sassy. Yeah. Em, you received some talking to me.

Oh, yeah. I will. I mean, I remember, I didn't really know what to do because you suddenly appeared with this doll who had a horrible American accent. Yeah. And he would come into your, and you suddenly see this doll. appearing in the doorway of your bedroom. Creasing into your peripheral.

Yeah, you might want to have a think about your life. What are you doing with it? So evil baby was a way of me communicating freely and happily with those around me. What do you think a therapist would say to you about evil baby? I tell you what I'd say to the therapist. Why don't you get a proper job? Instead of making people unpick those painful wounds

so you can sit there and feel all high and mighty. You're the one that needs to help, baby. baby do you think you would ever get a dog come i would love to get a dog one day i think i just need to be ready for it and i think i definitely my kind of form of rebellion in some ways to grow up with nine dogs was to become a cat person i was like you know what i'm going to have cats because also they're a bit lower maintenance yeah we did always have cats as well i begged you to have cats but when we had before you we had merlin yeah merlin was gorgeous but mord and mason were mine and they still live with you and they are the nicest

They are really lovely, but I've got my cats at home, but... Spooky. Yeah, I dream of a time when I'm in a position and a place to have a dog. Because it's a lot of responsibility. I want to be able to, you know, do it really right. Good boy, Spooky. What dog will you have, do you think? I think I'd maybe like a little kind of foxy dog again. I'd like maybe like a kind of long-haired chihuahua or something, a little... With a snoot. I like that kind of dog. But I definitely, I have friends who've got dogs too young and I'm like, it really changes the course of your life. really have to be serious about it. It's no joke. You know, dog is not just for Christmas.

Like you really got to, you've got to be ready. Yeah, because you and Jane waited until you were sort of had kids and didn't you. You didn't get it in the first time of the bar. No, we did have one. Well, we did have one. If you remember, we had Tinkerbell. Did you have made Tinkerbell? And your dad ended up looking after her for a while. Yeah. Or just after Bette. It just wasn't very practical. And when we had babies and a puppy, it was a bit too much. Unfortunately, we had somebody who wanted a dog. And so we said, well, Tinkerbell can live with you. And she had a very nice life with my dad and lived in France for a few years when he moved over there, where he still is.

So, Tinkerbell's no longer alive, of course, but it is a lot. And also, you know, it's really, this sounds Morgly, and I hope it's one depressed dog gloves out there, but when you've got dogs, you've got to realise some, you know, they're going to live, what, 15 years top, most dogs. But most of them, it's like 10, 12, you think. All they've got is like 10 summers.

Yeah. And so, look at this one, mounting me from behind. But, you know, so you might as well try and enjoy. all the time you can with them, because they haven't got that long compared to us. But you know, I do think about that often because you guys have been through, and again, I don't want to keep it, end it on a more than hope, but you guys have walked that hideous path in numerous times now. And it never gets easier.

It's such a painful loss. That day when you have to say goodbye. It's so hard. I even feel it with my cats. Again, not to end on such a morbid note, but I'll sometimes hold my cats. I'll just be like, oh, my God, one day I'm going to have to say goodbye to these beautiful creatures that I've raised. It's awful. So you just have to enjoy

the summers you've got with them. And the autumn's and the winters and the springs. I feel about your granddad as well. You're just... Look, let's say with pumpkin. There's a random bark off in the distance and they see a dog that didn't make the bark and go and start bothering him.

So when you have to have those conversations with the kids, would you decide what you were going to say? I can't bear it. Mind you, you were older when your dogs. Yeah, we were lucky. I think we kind of... Yeah. Princess didn't die until I'd moved out.

So you were still taking care of her predominantly. Yes, yes. So I was visiting her, but I wasn't... You know, I understood that she'd lived a really long life. And same with all of them, you know. They really lived very full, lovely lives. But it doesn't make it easier. It's still so hard to say goodbye.

Oh, I can't bear this all of it. You do think about the mothlin as well. You think about the dogs that used to be in your life. And you think about... All the time. I was thinking about Princess just the other day. And I was thinking about Poda the other day. and Snowball who left us recently.

You know, occasionally, and you'll fight, you know, that annoying thing, it's almost like it's designed to upset you, and Apple does that thing, memories from this day, you think don't fucking show me dogs that died five years ago with sad music over it, or worse, still happy music over it, I can make you feel good mood. Don't show me a picture of my dog who I loved 10 years ago died, and you're playing some sort of terrible check a car contract.

A gut-wrenching photo montage I didn't ask for. Wow, wow. There's a picture of a lovely dog who I had to bury. Do you know, Snowball loved you so much, Solent. He used to pine when you left the room. Hey, what's not to love? He would pipe. But these ones do this.

Do they? Oh, my God. This isn't me undercuttings. I don't like a compliment. I think they do love me. But at the same time, in all their lives, I have been the primary food giver. And so they place you in an alpha position

when you're the person they look to you for regular supplies. You know, so there is an element of that in it. Do you place him an alpha position? Absolutely. That's why I've been able to devalue him now because I don't live at home anymore. Oh, like Daddy doesn't still spring for the occasional ganny skirt? I've been going through something, that's why. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Spooky. Pumpkin, stop that. He is phenomenally generous, your dad.

Well, both your parents are. Yes. But your dad is so generous. I always call it it like having a meal with a sort of benign Tudor King. To the extent where we went out for a meal recently and he ordered so much food. Do you remember that hard? That's not generosity. That's just greed and stupidity.

The chef said, you're so generous to everyone. But the chef was like, please, less, order less. The chef came out of the kitchen. Oh, no, it was the owner of the restaurant. It was the owner of the restaurant came out and pleaded with him to order less. And you ended up haggling with him. He was like, maybe just order one or two and you went three. Let's make it three.

It's like, round it up. He says two, I say four we set on three. It's the way of the world. Better look at this dog. Oh, handsome. And well behaved. When it was called, went straight back. You say that.

He came in, shoved his nose up, Barney's ass, and then ran off. Why wouldn't you? Barney has a lovely ass. If I were a dog, I'd be right on Barney. He's the dog I'd go for. You've got a low bar. That's true. Not anymore.

Not anymore. You did. You said this yourself. You did have a low bar because we are going to get onto the subject. I want to talk to you about your love story, which I'm so invested. My love story. I'm so invested in you and Greg James. I think I might have to move in.

I've heard his version of how you met. And I've obviously heard you talking about it, but it really feels like you sort of met him. And what I meant when I said, low bar, was it feels like you met him and you thought, oh my God, this man's taking me on a proper date and treating me, like taking me to dinner. Yeah. I remember, were you quite surprised by that. Yeah, I was completely surprised that he'd organised like an actual adult date. And, you know, we went to see this comedy thing.

And then, yeah, and then he said, I've got dinner booked around the corner if you want. I thought, what? What are you talking about? We're not just going to the pub for two hours. Like, what? So, yeah, yeah, no, you're right. I think I'd shagged a lot of frogs before Greg. Because I had a nice, like, four years post-divorce

and just, like, dating people. And, you know, I think that's when I had my 20s in a way because I felt very mentally, the healthiest I've ever felt mentally. And I felt really attractive because I was running all the time. And I was just having a nice time. And then I met Greg. And I was like, oh, okay, this is nice. And yeah, and kind of from date one, I thought, oh, this is the man.

This is the fella for me. Did you? Yeah. And then you know that early period when everything The alchemy is so fragile Like anything could change You know

There could be just one weird thing happens And then the whole thing is just wrong And it doesn't work And so for about a month I sort of didn't breathe Because I was like oh God is it going to go wrong He went to Japan for two weeks Two weeks after we've met

And I thought it's all going to be over now Freaking out thinking he's going to come back And it's not going to stop The thing's going to The momentum's going to have gone. And then it hadn't. And then quite soon after that I moved in and then not long after that I proposed and then yeah and then we got married and now we've been together for seven years over seven years. I love that you proposed. I mean it shouldn't be worthy of even a mention but it is

to you know it's not like I had a ring or I thought that weekend vaguely thought I'd gone running in the city of London which was near where he lived at the time and so I was running around sort of, you know, bank and St. Paul's and stuff. And I found this beautiful garden behind a church, this tiny little sort of cloister. And I was sort of stood there thinking, this would be such a nice place to propose to someone. And then I thought, well, I don't think Greg's going to find it on his own. So I thought, maybe I could propose. And then I thought, maybe I should get a ring. But the only place that was open was Argos. And I thought, I don't know his ring size. So I can't do that. And then that night, we were having dinner. And he was telling me about all these plans.

he was doing some comic relief trek up the sort of three highest peaks in the UK. And it was beast in the east and everyone was saying that the weather was going to be the worst it had been in, you know, a hundred years and snow was going to kill everyone. And I thought, oh my God, he's going to die. And I think I'd had like two glasses of wine. I was slightly pissed. And I thought, he's going to die. And I won't have told him that I think we should be together forever. And I'm just his girlfriend.

You know, I won't, I'll just sort of, I'll have none of the kind of officialness. I don't mean money and stuff. I mean like I won't be acknowledged as his actual partner. We haven't been together that long. You know, you're the next of kin phone call. Right. And I just thought, I'm going to have to grieve this man without anyone else really knowing that we were a thing. And I just felt so I just suddenly was 100% sure he was going to die.

And so I said, I think we should get married. And he said, yeah, we are going to get married at some point. I said, no, I think we should get married now. And then I burst into... And then we had to go outside so I could have a seat. cigarette and calm down. And then he said, let's not tell anyone, because obviously I'm doing this challenge this week. We'll talk about it when I get back. So I thought he was saying it was a maybe. So I remember saying to my mum that week, I said, I think me and Greg are going to get married.

And she was really exciting. And then I said, but I'm not sure because he said not to tell anyone. And she said, OK, well, come back to me if it's true, because it doesn't sound like it is at the moment. So it sounds like you know, that thing in the graduate and he says, I'm going to marry Elaine Robinson. He goes, well, well, she doesn't know yet. It was a bit like that. I was like, oh, I'm not sure. And then he came back and said, no, I always thought we were going to, he said, I told a couple of people, but I just wanted to kind of, I didn't want, you know, the two things to overshadow, one of them to overshadow the other. So I just wanted to wait until I got back and I thought, so it was a bit of an

uneasy week where I thought, I'm not 100% sure he'd agreed to that, but I'm a bit annoyed with Gray for going away at that point. I mean, it was already booked in. I don't care. But like, that's why I did it. because he was going away. And to be fair, what would we have done, like gone to Argos and bought Ring? Like, there wasn't much to do that week, you know? We weren't planning a wedding.

Yeah, but it's not rational. I know, it was fine. And, like, you know, I mean, the only thing I minded about was just not being 100% sure. I like certainty, whether or not we were, in fact, engaged or not. That just wasn't 100% clear to me. This hair is hilarious. Have you ever shaved him?

No, I cut it a bit shorter normally in the summer. He's going for his cut soon. It's just his little, because he's, I'm not sure quite what he is. I think you should, you know, I did a DNA test for him. She's definitely a mixable. Someone said there's Pekingese in there. Yeah, I think so.

And he's not full Shih Tzu, definitely. No, we once, like, Barney himself gets sent quite a lot of stuff. Yeah. Not us, we don't get sent, I don't get sent anything. But Barney gets sent. No, I only get things for Ray. Yeah. We get sent quite a lot of Barney merch stuff.

And we got sent a DNA test for him. And I was so excited because I thought, oh my God, I'm going to get to find out, you know, that Barney, because they always say, oh, you know, don't worry, you find out that this dog you thought was a Labrador actually has a bit of Chihuahua in it and a bit of husky. So I thought this is going to be so amazing. I got the report back.

It just said Barney is 100% Labrador. And then it showed a family tree. And the family tree was just brown Labradoros going all the way back to the beginning of time. And it said he is 98% more inbred than all other Labeladors. I was like, all right, well, that was, I'm glad I didn't pay money for that because that would have been 90 quid down the drain to say that he's just 100% Labrador. Were you quite a sort of ladies man when you younger?

Were you quite the sort of man about Tam dashing? I don't mean in your behaviour, because I know you kept yourself tidy, I just mean, was it sort of, were you quite a catch, I suppose? I've no idea. I had one... You had interest. I had one girlfriend from 14 to 21. we went all the way through university at A levels and going to university

and in the end it ended in the months before my finals because she just needed I think to break out of it Do you think her parents ate out, look what you could have won? I hope so. Did she finish with you or the other way around? She finished with me. Did she? Why? The problem was that we were in different places.

I was at Oxford, she was in London. Oh, that's what they always say, Ed. I know. You know, they always say that I've had that. I've had, oh, my head's all over the place. I just need space. And she'd found a new man who was, Charles Dunstan, the guy who. Can't go to my house?

Yep. Does she end up with him? No. It ended sometime after. But it was kind of a, it was all bit chelchish. But then you ended up. You found the right one. All I can say is her mum would ring me to check I was okay.

because you're that one the mum's loved you I'm not saying that I'm just saying that she did but I am so and I think after that I was just very cautious about really being committed again until I thought it was right yeah and then once it was right and did you know with it event you just knew yeah very quickly I think both of this did

and that was just what it was and so yeah and she encouraged you to do strictly yeah so what actually happened was the previous summer you know I said know to go on I'm a celebrity because I'm scared of rats and therefore I couldn't do that. It's a really bad fear you've got, isn't it? It's not just some like...

It's really quite visceral. Yeah. You had to cancel Christmas lunch virtually once because of it. We had a rat in the house. There was a rat in the kitchen. I didn't know what to do. But a vet had gone on Woman's Hour, just in the Labour leadership election. And she was asked, will Ed be behind you pulling the strings?

Which is kind of like ridiculous question. And she said, no, absolutely not. He said he'll probably be off doing something like going on strictly or something. And I think this may have planted the idea. And Nick Robinson had also an interview with me where he had planted the idea. I then did sport relief bake-off for comic relief, which was great. And then the following spring, they got in touch with me and said, did I want to do it? And could I meet the producers?

And I thought, that's just a totally ridiculous idea. And I had kind of whatever it wasn't in my life, I wasn't going to have gone strictly. And I was writing this book about politics and had I really decided to move on, I didn't quite know and what was it going to do. And then, Yvette then said, why would you say no to the biggest television program

in the world? And politics is completely wild. You know, look what's happening in Britain and America. Go and do it. And I then rang up Jeremy Vine, who had done it the previous autumn. And I'd been interviewed by him lots of times.

I didn't know him well. Had a chat with him. He said, it's the best thing I ever did in my life, the most life-affirming thing. He said, go and do it. And so I said, yes. I mean, at the time, I said to that,

I was very clear. I met the two producers They were brilliant. And I said, I don't want to do Latin. I only want to do ballroom. And they said, we're not sure if you fully understand how the show works. And I said, I don't want to wear any glitter

or anything sparking. I don't think the word want means what you think it means. It was very obvious. I was quite in denial. Right. I was quite in denial, really. But then, of course, it was a real lesson in how, you know, I think the Director General commented on your gangnam style

as one of the biggest cultural moments or something. and it was an example in how, you know, you did become what that show was about, essentially. You know, because you realise actually people kind of don't like the people that go in there and are immediately proficient in week one. When they say of contestants, have they had any dance training? It would be fair to say, in my case, I mean, it was fairly obvious what the answer to that one was. So it wasn't even asked. But the first week I did, we did a waltz to, are you lonesome to know,

night and they're taking me literally so in a suit no sparkles in front of a backdrop of west minster bridge in the house of parliament we did our vt film we went into that house commons chamber with mission of the speaker so i am so burdened by my past and so i did this waltz with such caution and fear and you know and and i think i just actually realized if this is what i'm going to do it's ridiculous and so the next week we'd be we've been went into kind of the Charleston banjo kind of cowboy. And Katja said to me, if you're going to do it, do it, let go. And she also said, which is a fabulous insight.

She said, when I'm in the finals of the world championships, and I really want to give everything, I vocalize it. You have to shout and sing and yell. And the first time I did this, we used to film every time we did it, three or four times a day. the first time I did it, I was so cautious. And she said, no, you've got to really shout. Kind of bang, pow, shh.

And I thought, okay, and we, that's what I did. And I learned to put my self aside, my inhibitions aside, assume the character, and just go. And that was the thing. She taught me that. And in politics, you are always yourself in performance. You're performing, but it's yourself. Whereas actually what you're allowed to do in entertainment

is to put yourself slightly to the side and then go into the character. And then the following week was Movie Week. And so the Charleston had worked and I thought I've got a real chance for getting through because the audience reaction was great. And they'd said they wanted me to do Jerry Lee Lewis, Great Balls of Fire for Movie Week.

They wanted me to come down from the ceiling on a flaming piano. But two in the morning were driving back from Elstree and their vets on her phone and she says, you know this movie where you can assume the lead character? you do realise that the biopic is based upon is where he has an affair with his 12 year old cousin. She said, I think this may catch you the 12 year old and you the paedophile.

I think this is a bad idea. So I said, oh my God. So I then rang the producers at Sunday morning at 10am and said, I don't think I can do this one. They said, give us an hour. And they came back and said, we want you to do the mask, Jim Carrey, to Cuban Pete the Samba.

And I said, only if I can have a green face, only if you let me do not do it by halves let me be Jim Carrey the mask with a green face and I don't want to half-arse it and that was the it was fabulous the green makeup was so cool it took three people

50 minutes but that gangam style has become that was a great moment for your kids though wasn't it did they love it they did although the two older kids really liked it and they came to the shows and we sat them a few seats away from a vet They were never on camera. But our youngest daughter was at the time 13.

Yeah. She was below the age where she was allowed to come into the studio. She was also at that very sensitive age. And I think she actually found it quite hard. I mean, nowadays she will talk about it fondly. But at the time, her view was, Dad should be embarrassing, but you are so overachieving. It's causing me terrible grief.

And I was banned from going to her school parents evening for two years. because people would recognise me. And so I think she found it quite hard. You and Yvette have really made an effort to keep your kids, you know, out of the firing line, as it were. Yeah. And I can see why you did that. And I think it was probably a good idea for a number of reasons.

And you mentioned something which I found really touching, which is your daughter once made a comment, didn't she, to you about being in the playground or wanting to... That's right. What did she say to you? It was when she was going to secondary school. And I think we'd never known if we were making the right call. Yeah.

But because we'd both been in politics before we had children, we were both on track to be elected, potentially. I was by the time we were having kids. And we were just worried about what that would mean for them. And so we just made a decision. that we would never refer to them by name. We would never talk about them as people. We were talking about our kids or our daughter said,

but keep it kind of always arm the length. No photos of us with them at all. And then when our oldest daughter went to secondary school, so she was 11, this was 2010, this was after we'd been in the cabinet, and she said, the really important thing for me is that when I walk across the playground, I want people to see me first.

first. I don't want them to see the daughter of Evette Cooper, Ed Balls, and all the way, so this is so funny, she went to university, she's finished university now, she got through the whole of her university in the belief that nobody knew who her parents were. We would be allowed to go to take her stuff, but never together, and I would have to wear hats and glasses to get her stuff in. So she graduates, and then she then finds out, after she's graduated, one of her friend said, well, we all knew after a fortnight. But we just decided we wouldn't mention it. Yeah. So they never mentioned it for three years.

How classy of them, though? So classy. And therefore she, on the one hand, there was always a slight burden. Didn't what people had to find out of her parents were. She would be in shows and because she'd love directing and acting and we would go and watch. But we always had to be sort of slightly, sit separately, all that kind of stuff. They all knew. You were like the boyfriend. She was ashamed of.

I know. I thought you were a vet. But they let her, but she wanted to be her. It's good she's called Cooper. Yeah. I mean, there's a number of reasons why it was good they were called Cooper. But one of them is, it's sort of slightly more anonymous. You know, there's lots of Cooper's.

If you say, you know, I don't know, making up a name, Julie Cooper, you don't think, ah, Evette Cooper's daughter. You think just any old Cooper. I mean, they've been making bowels for decades, centuries. And you had a slight problem with balls, didn't you? Oh, God, yeah. I mean... Please don't use that as a trailer

but you did... When you were younger, people would ring up your house and... Wouldn't they prank calls? All sorts of stuff. We grew up in Norwich where this is a very common name. I mean, surprisingly, as this may sound, there were two full pages on the phone book.

Now, your younger audiences will not have any idea what I'm talking about. But older audiences know what I mean by that. Two pages of the phone book is a lot of balls. But we moved to Nottingham and there were not two pages, but two individual families with the surname. And so, you know, if you fancy it'd look it up in the phone book,

it was pretty clear which one we were. So we used to get a lot of those kind of things, and, you know, it was just a very uncommon name. If you get a football training and they call out your names, if the other kids laugh is bad, but if all the parents start laughing as well, it's kind of a bit of a burden when you're 11. It's strange because I've always had dogs in my life,

i.e. brought up with them, my grandparents had them, my mom had them, but maybe recently, now that with my partner, I feel a little bit more settled. I'm like, ooh, maybe I could see it in my future. But right now, I mean, I'm barely in my own house. Do you know what I mean? Life is very busy. So bringing a dog into the world would feel selfish. And tell me about the dogs you had growing up, because you grew up, this is in...

Berry, Manchester, yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, I can't remember the... I say brand. What's it called? What do you say for dog talk? Do you know what? I think we should keep sticking with brand. I can't remember what brand my nan and grandad's dog was,

but I'm pretty sure our dogs were mongrels to begin with. Oh, what we could call it. Is that brand? If it's a mixed breed, we could call it a collab. Oh, co-lab. Oh, what's a mongrel then? That's a collab. Is that a co-lab, but not a good co-lab?

Not a cute one. Like, you know, sometimes H&M do the random ones. And I'm how that's where we're going with. the dog brands. So what brand dog do you think it was? No, I know my mum has them once. You know the ones with like the, they can't really breathe with the nose?

You know the ones? Pugs and, yeah. Oh, yeah, that kind of vibe. There's three of them. Oh no, I think one died. It's two of them. Okay. Yeah.

Just a lot of craziness as well. And like, shout, love my mom. I always have to do that disclaimer before I do a podcast. But you know she isn't doing any dog training. Like they will. piss and shit wherever they want and it's just not cute. So if I was to have a dog, best believe we're going training. We're going to class.

We're making sure that when I say stop, you stop. Which way should we go later? Let's go this way. I think I was around 10, 11 years old. The first time I kind of like went to my first class in Bury and I was like, oh, this is a fun way to kind of put all of my bits and my extraness and my, you know, just my character into something worthwhile

but not even knowing that it would lead to what it has now, you know, it was just a bit of fun. And you auditioned for Billy earlier. Was it your mum who had, sort of how did you know that was happening and did you just see it in the paper or something? Yeah, my auntie saw it in the paper,

my aunt Alisa. The only reason I started acting actually is because I was jealous of my cousin because he always used to come to us every Thursdays and we're like, oh yeah, we've been to this acting class and I was like, what is this thing? I was like, I want to go with Darius, I want to go. Lo behold, stole the thunder.

You're like, like those ones on X Factor. You know, when they both come on to audition and the slightly reluctant one, they say, well, I'm not interested in you, but you. I want you, yeah, yeah. Oh gosh, no, he did do his thing for a little bit, shout out to them, but I, um, yeah, I just, I just rocked up to this audition.

Honestly, mate, it's like, oh, it says, boys of all ethnicities, they're looking for more billion, Elliot's for the London production of Billy Elliot. And at that time, I kind of knew about the movie, right, ish. London, when you speak to somebody from, like, my area, have you ever seen that clip online of, like, the compilation of every time somebody mentions London and Coronation Street, they go, London, and they're like, oh, I'm thinking I'm going to go London, and I go, London, like, it's literally that, like, London is not a thing.

Why would you go there? It's Gisbury that. It's that, oh, London. You know it's the capital city, but you don't really know. You've never been, never even got on the train anywhere close to there.

So I remember the first time we went, the audition was in Elephant and Castle and we were driving. Can you imagine driving around that roundabout? Like, what, 15, 16, 17 years? Yeah, she was driving. How did she get on? Oh, well, we're late, let's just say that.

Three hours? Yeah, good two hours late. But luckily I pulled it out the bag and yeah, I got the job. It took me a while, though. It took me like a good year and a half to get to the standard because I'd never done a ballet class in my life,

never done a tap class, like I was very much so. Hello. Hello. We've met a lovely, cutie. Little person. Very little person. And this is Raymond. Hello.

Do you like the doggy? Yeah, she loves dogs. Really, does she? Hello. It's lovely to meet you. Bye-bye. Bye. She gave you a lovely smile.

The cutest little kid. So go on, Leighton. Yeah, so you got the audition. Got the audition. And then you had to move to London. Yeah. And you were how old? I was around 11 years old.

Yeah. That's extraordinary, isn't it? Looking back on that, do you think, wow, I was 11 years old? Yeah. It's so strange because, like, I really, I'm sure I had a couple of moments but I just took to it

so like easily I guess I missed home a little bit but like you know life was just a bit slap dash da da da da da like like sometimes in my state like there's certain things that like

children shouldn't be seeing or witnessing and it was a little bit like that sometimes and I felt like when I got to London London London London I promise I won't do that every time. No, I love it, please do.

But when I got here, the dust just like settled a little bit. And I was like, oh, wow, this might be the place. Even at that young age, I was like, I think I've been long in a space like this. Somewhere I can just like be myself, spread my wings and just you met people that you never met before. Like, you know, happy gay people that were living their best lives. But like, no one was teasing them or thinking that. there were the devil or awful people. It was just like, oh, there was just such a,

it's just like, everything just opened up. And I was like, my eyes were like wide open. Do you know what I mean? But I was, you know, really, I was working hard. But like on the moments, I was like, oh, this is, this feels right. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

When you get to space and you're just like, yeah, this is it. You've done some incredible work, Luke, over the years. But we're going to have to discuss beauty. in the Beast, I'm afraid. Come on, let's do it. I saw you doing a Gaston off on Jonathan Ross's show. Was it a huge act,

when a Taran Edgerton? That's right, yeah. They were on promoting Eddie the Eagle movie and I was on, I don't know what I was on promoting, something else. It wasn't Beauty in the Beast, but I had finished Beauty and the Beast. Was it Dracula?

No. Must have been after that. I don't know where it was. Not sure. But quite honestly, I love those boys. you wipe the floor you're my gas on I'm sorry

you don't get pipes like that sorry Hugh it was a good night I remember because I stood next to Hugh when we were singing and so in the film I asked Alan Menkin who wrote the

song with Howard Ashman there's a line which goes I use Hank no it's three does this what is it when what is it uh i have a terrible memory come on film though every day what's about the eggs when what do i say were the eggs what is she a problem every morning i eat five dozen eggs but um but it's it's the bit when he comes in when he goes and he puts lafou on one shoulder and a girl on the other it's halfway through it's about the five dozen eggs let me see the

five dozen. Yeah. So what are the two you in? When I was a lad, I eat four dozen eggs every every morning to help me get large. And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs. So I'm roughly the size of a barge. But then I did that. But then instead of staying on that note, I went up. But so I'm roughly the size of a barge. Anyway, I did that note. And huge huge act when it went very good. It made my night. People are literally open round Because I should say With St James's Park

Raymond has not even battered an eyelid But these women turn round And they were sort of your peak Peak Gen Z Beauty and the Beast live action audience I don't think I've ever seen a jaw drop Like that Thank you so much for listening to our best bits

And thank you for listening to Walking the Dog this year We'd love it if you subscribed And do join us next time on more the dog wherever you get your podcasts.