Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Mark Simmons (Part One)

Episode Date: February 10, 2026

This week Emily and Ray take a stroll in Stratford with comedian Mark Simmons, widely regarded as one of the sharpest one-liner comics around.Mark chats to Emily about growing up in Canterbury, his time working in a gym, and the spontaneous decision to try stand-up comedy that ended up changing his life. Since then, he’s picked up the prestigious Joke of the Fringe Award at the Edinburgh Festival, appeared on Mock the Week, and supported the likes of Rob Beckett, Seann Walsh and Rob Brydon on tour.It was a rainy walk, made all the more memorable by Mark insisting on carrying Emily’s handbag the entire time, a small gesture that said a lot. The conversation also turns to their mutual friend, comedian Gareth Richards, with a moving and heartfelt moment as they remember him together.Mark is currently touring his show Jest to Impress, and you can book tickets at https://marksimmons.co.uk. You can also listen to his podcast Jokes with Mark Simmons.It’s a funny, thoughtful and genuinely lovely walk with a brilliant comic and an even better human.Follow Emily:InstagramXWalking The Dog is produced by Will NicholsMusic: Rich JarmanArtwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I spend a lot of time in parts picking up poo, so my girlfriend got me a dog to make it less weird. This week on Walking the Dog, Ray and I took an East London stroll with comedian Mark Simmons. Mark is pretty famed for his exceptional one-liners. In fact, so much so he's managed to nab the prestigious joke of the Fringe Award at the Edinburgh Festival. He's also appeared on shows like Mark the Week and supported major comics like Rob Beckett, Sean Walsh and Rob Bryden on tour. So it was a bit of a miserable rainy day when we met up And I was having to juggle lots of things like umbrellas, a wet shih Tzu Who was refusing to walk, my coffee, my handbag

So it told me a lot about Mark that he insisted on carrying my handbag The entire time to lighten my load Any man who's that chivalrous slash comfortable with his masculinity Instantly gets my vote So I knew I was going to love him And we had the best chat about everything from Mark's childhood growing up in Canterbury to his time spent working in a gym and the random decision he made one night to try his hand at stand-up which ended up changing

his life. We also chatted about our mutual friend comedian Gareth Richards who really tragically lost his life three years ago and even though I ended up getting a bit emotional it was so lovely getting to remember Gareth with someone who clearly cared about him so much. Ray and I absolutely loved our walk with Mark and I know you will too If you want to go see him live He's on tour with Jess to impress Go to Marksimmons.com.uk to book your tickets

And you can also listen to his podcast jokes with Mark Simmons I'll stop talking now And hand over to the brilliant man himself Here's Mark and Ray Ray What do you think Mark? He's not a lead dog He doesn't need a lead because he's so well behaved Yeah

The thing is I might put him on a lead just because there might be some other dogs which didn't go to the same charm school. Obviously, yeah, there'd be loads of those. What sort of dogs do you think we'll see around here, Mark? This is a thing. I love dogs. My brother's got a dog, and if I see a dog,

I love giving it attention. But I don't know what dogs are, like the breed. I literally, like that dog, that dog there, I wouldn't even know what to guess that is. You're talking about my dog, Raymond. Raymond, yeah. So is it a cross or something and something? Raymond is an imperial Shih Tzu.

Okay. Imperial? Why are the imperial? What does that mean? Well, Shih Tzu's originally came from China. It was the Emperor's Palace. It was punishable by death to own one outside of the palace. Wow.

You seen why he's a little entitled? Yeah. There's posture's right up. So they're... Oh, look at these ones, Mark. Oh, wow. Little... Are they terriers? Ever so sweet.

Your dog's got its own coat. Yeah. He doesn't need one of those. He doesn't need one. He's got a faux fur. Do you like those coats? They're quite flamboyer. Yeah, we just saw three was it,

terriers, I think, and they had almost sort of wonsies, would you say? Yeah, yeah. A bit ayahuasca wanzies. Do you think that's the person who owns the dog? It's like they want people to notice. It's quite bright, aren't they? know. It is. I mean, Ray has his cardigan. It's quite a tropical coloured cardigan. I call it Arson

Venger on a Caribbean cruise. And he didn't wear it today because I wanted you to get the full effect. No, no. And the wind is, it's like he's in a L'Oreau advert. The wind is blowing the hair back. Beautiful. And we're in Stratford, we should say. East London. Beautiful Stratford. How many walks have you done in East London? You're saying that as if to say Ray doesn't look like the East London type. We've done quite a few because we did, we've done a lot of Hackney. Oh yeah, nice.

And we've done... This is Olympic Park. Yeah, this is... I'm quite excited to be here actually. Yeah, yeah. And we've come here because we're by... You had told us to me at the West Ham Stadium, and I'm assuming that's something of a sacred ground for you. Well, the ground's not sacred, but the club is.

The club is, yeah. grounds we've moved to the London stadium much since the Olympics yes the fans generally hate it yes but I live literally that's my flat over there oh so I live like four or five minutes away so I'm probably the only West Ham fan that doesn't want us to move to another stadium it's really really convenient what we've arrived at Pré-a-Mage hey should we get a coffee there we go right should we get going let's go ahead out on our walk on this very rainy day.

Did you know where to go, did you then? Bye, bye, Pratt. Do you want to keep hold of your love bar? Until you need it. I could look after it for you. I hate you saying love bar. It does sound like a sex toy, isn't it? Why did Pret not thinking? Lovingly, I reckon they probably did, didn't they?

Oh yeah. Do you reckon it's part of it? Which way should we go? We could, well, it's the more interesting ways down there, take a right, and then you've got the canal and stuff like that down there. I like more interesting and I like that. more interesting and I also like... There's a few things I can show you. I also like less noisy.

Yeah, we go away from the... Let's go away from the... Yeah, there's go. Your love bar's got in my pocket. Come on, Ray. So Mark, thank you so much for doing this podcast today. No, thank you for having me.

And we've come over to Stratford, as we said, to see you, in your manner. Yeah, my manner, yeah. I feel like when I say that to be for a living kind of Kensington, it feels ridiculous. But I think with East London, Manor really works, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, people know me around here. They know not to mess with me.

People say, oh, it's Ed Shearin. Exactly. You know what? I get that a lot. I was going to say, that wasn't just me being vaguely abusive. You've said that in your, I heard you talk about that in your stand-up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you do get mistaken for Ed Shearren a lot. Yeah, well, I don't know if it's actually mistaken. I think people see a vague resemblance and they think it's hilarious.

Yeah. Because literally, if I walk through Westfield, three or four times I'll get it shouts. Sometimes it's shouted at me. I've had it shouted at me from a car before. Oh, and I was walking past some builders. And the only people get wolf whistled, I had, give us a song, Ed Shearer. Like that. And then I just gave them a little ditty.

So people do it as a joke, like on the tube. And then I go, do you want a photo? and then I kind of forced them into having one. So it's more fun that way. Well, yeah, because you've got this beautiful. I would say your hair, I would describe it as Titian. Oh, I've read that before. Maybe Titian is a bit darker, red.

Yeah, I don't know. Tuscan sunset. Is it something like that? That farrow and ball colour. Yeah, I feel like I've had all sorts. It's very Renaissance. Strawberry blonde is the one people used to say, but I used to hate that as a kid.

I'm going to call it it's quite Botticelli. Oh. Yeah? Yeah. Do you like that? Well, I don't know what it means, but I take it. Absolutely. Sounds like an opera singer.

He's an artist. He was an artist, but he did this. Oh, he had the same kind of hair as me. No, he did. He painted angels, Venus specifically he painted actually. I should say, what to tell is Venus. Right. And all the women tend to have that sort of hair.

Okay. Got it. So Mark, you didn't turn up with a dog, but it's all right. I didn't. I can't have one. I'd love one. Really? But I can't, like, my lifestyle just wouldn't suit it.

Yeah. Because I live on my own and I'm on tour all the time at the moment so you have to give them attention and stuff don't you and walk them. And what was your history with dogs? Did you have dogs growing up? When I was born we had one called Candy. I love Candy. Yeah, that was a Cocker Spaniel and not dissimilar colour hair to me actually.

But we didn't have enough one after that but we, I don't know why really. I think it was so traumatic when she, you know. When she breathed the last. Yeah. No, it is. That's the dog's only floor. It is, isn't it? Is how bereath their lives are.

Yeah. But then I have a theory about that, Mark. Oh, lovely. I think that encourages us, like, because we park that reality with people. Yeah, but I have to now. How do you know? Because he crouched. Peter crouched so I know something's going on.

Oh wow, okay. Hold that one. Do you like to hear my joke about this? No, come on. I spend a lot of time in parts picking up poo, so my girlfriend got me a dog to make it less weird. That's a real laugh as well, that's nice. I really like that.

It's really hard receiving one liners one to one because there's so much pressure on getting it. But I think because you were, like your hand was around your dog's bottom, I think maybe you weren't stressed about receiving the joke. It just was a natural. It was lovely. Do you know what? We're going to talk about this. Because you're one of, you're something a bit exceptional for me, which is I don't normally

like punchline driven one line of comedy. You probably get this, people say this to you a lot. And I absolutely love your comedy. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Thank you. I want, I'm interested in why. Why? I think I've worked out why. Oh really? Yeah. So you know what? That's the thing. with one-liners, see I love one-liners, like brought up loving them. Well, look, I forgot, I forgot everything now. Well, do you mind carrying the umbrella?

No, no, no, no, I feel part of the gap. No, no, I want to carry it. I didn't even realize I was carrying it. I don't remember you giving me that. That's funny. It's nice. It suits me. So the thing with one-liners is you either love one-liners or you very much dislike them.

Because I think with comedy, your brain is just tuned in a certain way. And if it's not tuned in for one-liners, then you're just not going to enjoy that hour. So my favourite thing to happen after a show is when maybe like a husband is a big fan and he dragged his wife along. And she'll say, I normally hate one-liners, but I really enjoyed the show. For me, that's the biggest win. Well, I think, and we'll talk about this at length more because I'm fascinated by it. That for me, what I think it's about is your warmth on stage. So I feel often with that style of comedy,

Not always. It's obviously not that then. But you know what? You know, often with that style of comedy, I associate that perhaps wrongly with someone very slick, very high status. Yeah, yeah. And they're sort of saying to me,

I'm very funny. Here are some funny things. What I feel like happens with you when I watch your comedy is I feel you're also taking me on that journey saying, here's a little weird puzzle we're going to sort of work out together. I love that, yeah. Like we're in it together.

I can't explain. It doesn't feel like you're a bit stupid. You couldn't think of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, obviously I actually think that, but I hide it really well. No, I think traditionally one-liners were very deadpan. And I think that's where that comes from.

Because I think when you're first doing them, to actually get them to work, You kind of have to be a bit of a weirdo character. So by going deadpan, it's like, oh, this is interesting. It's a little bit different to everyone else. But I think just as time went on, I just developed my own way of doing it. Well, I have to say I love your way of doing it. And I want to talk more about your comedy, but I have to first, just to be faithful to the format here,

we have to go back in time of it. Sure. And I need to know a bit about your childhood. Because tell me where you grew up and what your kind of family set up was. So grew up in a little village in Kent called Selinge. And if we go down that bit. Oh yeah. Here we go, Ray.

What's the house like? Is it sort of Harry Potter? No, no, no, no, no. It's a semi-detached ex-council house. Right. But a nice village, very nice village. and with my mum and my brother and then my stepdad

and my dad lived in Ashford nearby. Right, but you saw him regularly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weekends, Thursdays used to take us to football. And then, yeah, just... And what did your parents do? So my mum worked all sorts of things, actually. I've actually got a working at the moment.

It was quite interesting. So when I was a kid, she did a part-time job and she used to put, I don't know what you call this, but the company worked for Chelsea Flower Show. And they did the brochures. So a lot of the time she had to put brochures into plastic cellophane things. And I've just started a new merch line, which I've actually got your present from my merch line.

Because basically, big corporate car companies have started my jokes a lot over the years. And basically I've taken it into my own hands. I've got a range of five now and I've got that dog joke on there so I've got you that one so basically I get the cards and then I have to put the envelopes and the cards into the thing

and she does that for you she just said oh yeah bring me a box down and it's like 500 yeah 500 in the box and she was like yeah this is what I used to do and she's got her old set up and she watches TV it's just like just in next next I think I'd like your mum

yeah you would yeah if you had to compare her to like a TV character So who would she be? Oh, goodness. That, I mean, that's a great question. I don't know the answer to that. Isn't that weird? I can't think of any TV characters.

Is she very warm? Yeah, very warm. Is she funny? She can be funny, but not knowingly. And she doesn't get my jokes at times. So, and then when she gets, she'll watch me a couple of times and then she really enjoys it once she knows all the jokes. But yeah, but she puts it, she's a sort of person that,

that will panic if you're telling her a joke because she's panicking that she won't get it. And because she's panicking, she won't get it. So it's that sort of thing. Just referring back to what we were saying earlier about you were saying often, not often, but you gave the example of how a man might have taken his woman along, his wife along to your comedy.

That sounds like somebody said, as he's woman, but might have taken his wife along or his partner along, female partner. And I think, I can only speak for myself, but I certainly think why I sometimes struggle with one-liners is I think a lot of the time, especially when you're a woman, it's this idea of you're stupid, you didn't get it. Right. And you're kind of, there's shame over being exposed as stupid.

I didn't get something the man said. So that's why there's a bit of a defence, I think. Yeah, well, I've often wondered. Yeah. Because if you look at my Instagram, it is majority male. You're in a manosphere. Well, I'm trying to sexy it up this year. I've got bought myself a leather jacket.

So let's go back to your childhood because I'm quite interested in it. So your mom did sort of bits and bobs for companies like you were saying. And what did your dad do? When she wasn't doing that, she was running us around here and everywhere.

And we were, my brother and I, we did like a lot of sports and things. So it was like constant drive to football training and then quickly drive my brother to this place and then drive me to tennis. And yeah, looking back, it was incredible. Did you get on with your brother? As children, we did fight a lot, as you do.

But interestingly, we as a family, we do taekwondo. Yes, isn't your dad in a taekwondo gym? Yeah, he's an instructor, yeah. So I started when, you're okay, do you want some help with your bag? Oh, do you know, you're so sweet, Mark? I'll carry it. I don't mind. Are you sure you don't feel a bit emasculated?

No, I'm very comfortable. I've got one just like this at home anyway. You're very considerate, aren't you? Just putting it on, and I? It's only an hour. Oh, it's raining. Let's go under that shelter. That's a suvlaki place, actually.

Let's go under the shelter. That's a suvlacky place over there. It's very good normally when it's open. Is it? Should we go in shelter for a bit more? Yeah, that's nice. Just while the rain's coming down. So go on, so your dad is...

Oh, yeah. So we... I've done taekwondo since I was like three or four or five. I can't remember when I started. And still, my dad still, my dad still teaches. now and I still do a bit when I'm not working too much. So your dad can sort of take care of himself. What's that?

Your dad can really take care of himself. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. How cool. But so with my brother and I, when we got to the age of, because sometimes when we were younger, we sort of went off Taekwondo because it was kind of forced on us because my dad did it. And then we'd rebel a bit and not want to do it. But when I got to maybe 13, 14, and my brother was like 16, 17,

I started doing it again and you could take it more seriously because you can actually get properly stuck in because you're fully grown and after that because my brother would just beat the hell out of each other and then after that our relationship was incredible

and it was like we just got it out our system and since then we're so close now and... By the way we don't recommend people doing it. It's in a controlled environment what you need to do is beat the shit out of someone if you're having a bad day with them But it wasn't even like we'd argued and then we sort of fight, it would just be, we trained together all the time.

And it's just this physical sport where you are just getting stuck in. And when you get stuck in, you're helping the other person because you're conditioning their body to take shots and things like that. Do you think, I want to be careful what I say here, but I feel, because men do tend to have higher levels of testosterone and therefore aggression potentially, do you think that I can see how that would be really healthy, that outlet specifically for boys.

I mean, and for women as well, obviously, I think, you know, everyone should be doing that kind of stuff. But I can really see how channeling, particularly that sort of teenage hormones might have been quite helpful. It must have been because, yeah, we were very chill after that. But it's same with exercise as well. It's not just physically hitting each other. It's any kind of exercise, going to the gym,

release it endorphines, and you're letting, it's an outlet for all that pent-up aggression and hormones or whatever. And what sort of kid were you? Were you a naughty kid? I imagine you were quite a shy, quiet kid. Wow. So within home, between my brother and I, I was definitely naughtier than him. But not like really naughty, but he was a very good boy.

He's like Ray, a very good boy. Yeah, yes, yeah. But he was also, he's very clever, my brother. Yeah, yeah. So he's very studious. but he would also get me into trouble because I was the idiot little sort of kid. Hello.

You know when Ray's paws go wet who looks like he's got high heels on? It does, doesn't they? When I hit that kind of puberty time, I was very shy. I sort of went in on myself and I wanted to hide and yeah, I didn't like that time at school really. I was okay, like I had an okay time

but I was always self-conscious the whole time which is why anyone I went to, to school with, they can't believe I'm a stand-up comedian because my, I had a legit, huge fear of talking in front of people in class, like horrible, I hated it so much. And then when I went to university, when I had two presentations, that sort of carried on. I just hated that standing up in front of people. Yeah, I could stand up in front of a taekwondo class without an issue teaching from the age of 14. But I think it was just, it's all those eyes on you, and you're not doing anything to entertain, I guess.

And it's not that I don't really know what I'm talking about. And am I boring them? And then all these thoughts are going on in my head and then I just like getting really embarrassed. I used to hate it. And then my mate just convinced me to have a go to stand up once, totally by accident. And then it was just that laughter, the reaction,

is what gives me the confidence and makes me feel comfortable. out there and then I just never looked back but I never considered doing stand-up because because I had that fear I just thought I always like the idea of it and I like the idea of making sketches and and was it obvious that you were saying you were very shy which by the way I don't think is untypical for comics because I sort of think sometimes there are two sorts aren't there they there are sort of you know real pure extroverts yeah and then

then you get some comics, I always call it the Rowan Atkinsons, who's much more, you know, if you meet him, you would think he was an engineer, which is what he did at Cambridge. You would never think he was a stat. That would be the last thing you would think. It's very shy, self-effacing, quite. And I wonder, I sometimes think that going on stage is interesting because it's like, well, that's owning your trauma in a way, isn't it?

It's saying, this thing that I'm terrified of, I'm going to do the most frightening thing. I'm going to force us off to do it. It wasn't a conscious decision to do that. But that is what I did. Because that was my biggest fear. And now I'd literally do it in front of sometimes hundreds of thousands of people.

Do I mean? It's mad. Were you popular, Mark? I'd say I was right in the middle because I was for my school. I wasn't at a grammar school. I was at an OK school. But I was in all the top sets of the classes, which doesn't mean a lot at that school but like I tried when I was you know with

work and stuff but I was also good at sport so that's good there being the cool kids like to me because I was good at sport in that set in that way so I was kind of in but totally in between I think people may not have thought oh he's super super shy but I knew I was as in I knew I didn't like put myself my head up what was what was your gang at school so you must be with the sports Funny gang. No, I wasn't really. No, because the sporty kids, no, I was never like, didn't ever hang out with the popular sporty kids, but I always got on with them. But no, my friends group were quite funny, actually. They're quite a nice, chilled kind of group. I never really think about this, actually. But we still all meet up every Christmas we go for like a Christmas dinner. It's always really funny and a good laugh. But I wouldn't say I was the funniest one of the group. Yeah. Actually, I really remember one of my friends telling me, I think maybe, I don't know why,

maybe he had a bad day, but he told me I wasn't funny. And I remember it so clear. And he wouldn't remember that. It's just a passing thing, but that obviously bothered me. Because I remember exactly where I was at school, where I was standing, how that made me feel. I hated it. And after that, I was like, I'm going to prove maybe that's a thing. Yeah, probably is.

Because I think we were talking about like friends or something because friends was massive at the time and probably maybe I don't know I'd probably talk about which one we would be and then I might have went I'm probably childler and you're like well you're not funny or something like that and I remember it and my memory is terrible for like life things so that has stuck in my head so maybe that is a it's like therapy this is great. That's the idea. Yeah. But yeah it's interesting when you look back to those things that stick with you in childhood You know, I have a couple of things people have said to me over the years and I think about them probably three times a week. And you think about how comments like that just influence your, it's not the only reason. You're not just going to do that because some kids said that to you at school. Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray.

Stop raining now, actually. You could probably walk a bit. Oh, yeah, shall we not? I think Ray's taken the initiative there. No, I'm going to take it. What, you're so kind. You remind me of Gareth, who's a, you know. reach your friend of ours and we're going to talk about him in a minute.

But I might cry, but you won't mind. Well, I might as well. Oh, good. We'll cry together. Well, I probably won't now because I'm now thinking I won't. Ray won't cry because he's got a heart of stone. He's made some friends look. He's made some people cry there.

Ray, have you met some friends? Hello, this is Raymond. Raymond. Look, he looks, we were just saying me and my friend. He looks like he's got heels on because of it. Rain, do you like that? Do you see how much he likes? He likes attention.

He loves it. That's why he walked over. He's like a comic. He just wants attention all the time. He's so, so cute. Oh, thank you. Lovely to meet you. Bye-bye.

Come on, Ray. It's so funny because I went on a dog walk with a friend around here as well. And normally when you walk around East London, people don't talk to each other because it's, you just don't know who you're talking to. But as soon as you've got a dog, it's a completely different experience walking around. It's really, really nice. I'm going to stick my ear. I like it actually because I think it's a really nice way of feeling sort of energised by socialising without being exhausted by it. Yeah, yeah.

It's always a nice positive vibe, isn't it? Yeah. As long as you've got a nice dog. Yes, exactly. You see the best of people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's different, I suppose, yeah. It depends on the ex-el bully, I suppose, but I think with an ex-old bully, you might get people, might get nervous.

So we were talking about how important it was to you. Oh, school, wasn't? Which, no, just what you were saying just now was interesting to me was sort of on reflection how important it was to be seen as funny, that that was a currency that you wanted to have. And the idea that that wasn't your shtick. Yeah, but I thought it was. I must have thought it was, because that's why I was so offended by it, I guess. But I grew up, like my brother and my dad are like, grew up watching a lot of comedies. Did you? What did you watch? Well, we had the VHS that my dad's on sort of on rotation. So you had your black adders talking about Rowan Atkinson. Yeah. Naked Gun, which is very

one-liner-y kind of thing, 40 Towers, all those sort of shows that I would just watch on repeat. What's your favourite at Forty Towers episode? Mrs. Richards. Yeah, I love this stretch. Because just for that one bit where she couldn't get it working and he's pretends he's not talking, or he's not, she can't hear him and then all of a sudden he shouts. And it's the best. I also like my favourite Faulty Towers line, and I've used this. And I quote, you know, I make reference to where it's from.

And I say it often about friends of mine as in the psychiatrist when he says, there's enough material here for an entire conference. And I say that of a lot of comics, I know. So the comedy thing, what did you think, because you were very sporty and you obviously, did you do sport science at Manchester? Yeah, Metchport and at university. So did you think at that point you were going to, what I'm saying is, why didn't you do an arts degree or? Yeah, with interest in this because so whenever I would go and watch anything, which is the same with sport. If I went to watch a sporting event or if I went to watch a play, or if I went to watch a play, play or a panto or a comedian. I think I actually watched many comedians. We went to watch

Russ Abbott once and I absolutely loved it when we were on holiday in Bournemouth. It's incredible. And it really blew me away, but we did really go and watch many comedies. But I always wanted to be the person who was doing the thing. That was always a conscious thought of mine. Like, if it was a sport, I wanted to be on the pitch, if it was a, I wanted to be on the stage. But again, I didn't have the confidence really. But if I ever did plays at school, primary school I used to really enjoy that and I enjoyed drama class at school but there was this moment where you have to pick your GCSEs and we could only there were only the choices on two parts everything else you had to do and I wanted to

do drama and PE but you you work with the timetable you could only pick one so I picked sport and went down that route and then weirdly I've ended up doing this And when you ended up, but you went to do sports science, what were you thinking at that point when you did your degree? Were you thinking, I'll own a gym or were you not really thinking consciously about where it would lead? I think it was, so I went to visit my brother at university when I was maybe 16 or something and I really loved what was happening there, like the lifestyle and the fun. So in my head I was like, I have to go. That sounds a bit sleazy. I just like that, like I went there and there's all his friends were together going out drinking and like I just I just love that.

I thought it seemed so fun. It's quite a shallow reason. Yeah, well yeah, exactly. I didn't like education really. So I just wanted to go and have a life experience. Do you know what I mean? Away from home and because he was at Bristol. Oh, you went to a portion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, uh, I love Bristol. Like gigging in Bristol too. And so what happened after that? You did your degree? Yeah. It came back. I got a job in, over the summer while I was looking for a proper job,

I got a job in Iceland and Fitness First. And I'd get up and about six in the morning, maybe five in the morning. I'd go and like stack the shelves in Iceland. And then I'd go up to Fitness First and do a shift there, which was a voluntary shift. It was like a few hours, but it gave me free membership. and also some experience so I could say to people.

I can see you. I can see you there. Yeah, really? Yeah. Yeah. I can see you at Fitness House because you've got the height I think. Yeah, right. I can see you being the trainer that I'd want to talk to because I wouldn't feel frightened of you.

Oh that's nice. But that was the best decision of my life probably doing that. That's quite a big statement but that that's where I met my mate who got me to do stand-up. If I hadn't have taken that voluntary position, at Fitness First? I wouldn't be doing this now. So what happened? Did your friend say you should do stand-up?

Well, my friend, so he was a friend of a friend. So I used to work at a cinema, and there's this guy called Brendan, and we got on really well. And he was in this cool gang of like four or five guys who made their own sketches. And they'd make their own DVD. And I just got a copy of this DVD. and I thought they were the coolest people

because I thought I was like they're Monty Python and that's all I really wanted to do things like that so I'd never met this guy but I knew him so well because I'd watched their DVD so much when I was at uni and he just happened to be at the gym when I was working there

so should we go around back this way let's go around here just because of the traffic Oh okay if you go Why do you want to keep that? Well there's a few options so if you go if we go down there the canals all along there

which is quite nice. Oh, I do that. Okay. It depends how long we've got. It's not too much. I'm fine. If we go this way, there won't be many cars. That way there's loads of cars.

We don't mind a bit of cars as long as it's not all the way. What was I saying? Are you talking about your friends that you hung out with who sort of, the Monty Python? So I bumped into him and he knew nothing about the gym. So I was helping him and then while I was helping him, he was just telling me that he was doing this thing called the open mic circuit in London. And I was like, I was really intrigued by it. But obviously, I don't like talking in front of people, so wouldn't have.

Yeah. And somehow he just convinced me to have a go at it. Really? So we just, we just, and there was this gig, it's a legendary gig, actually. It's called Downstairs at the King's Head. I know. It's really. Which I read about in Frank Skinner's book.

Because when he came back to stand up, he would go down there quite a lot. And that was around the time I started comedy. I used to laugh, Gareth, our dear departed, mutual friend. When I went to see Gareth there once, and we were going up the stairs and it's got pictures of all the comics on the walls. And Gareth said, this is basically your address book.

That's really funny. That's so Gareth as well. I know. And what I liked, I said, yeah, all black and white, old photos. No one on at the age of 50. Thanks, Gah. There's such a cool venue. And it's like it.

And it is this, so it was the perfect gig for me to go to, for my first one because it was this thing that lots of comics drop out because you have to book so far in advance. So you can just rock up early, stand by the door and if he has dropouts, he'll put you on. Peter, is it? Yeah, Peter, yeah. And did you do that? Yeah. How was your first gig? It went all right. I went on really like, because I was scared of doing it, I went on and I acted up the weirdo, which interestingly, this was just before Milton Jones broke through. So I was almost like that. I was just sort of looking all bewildered.

And apparently I was looking at the floor the whole time. Yeah. Because I was so scared. But because I was acting weird, I kind of got away with it. And I got some laughs. And it was this, it was like sensory overload going into that club. Because I'd never been to a comedy club before my first gig. I've never been to one, never watched one, didn't that existed.

I knew nothing of the world. And all of a sudden, I'm doing this gig. Look at that brutal, little, you. Yeah. Yeah, go on. Trying to struggling to keep up with... Yeah, that's like me walking with you. Yeah, I did that earlier consciously slow down,

because mine naturally, I've got quite a big gait, haven't I? I really notice men that do that. Yeah, really, yeah. I really notice it. So, I'm thinking a little... Mark. He's done the King's Head. He's thinking, oh, I like that. Oh, we've got a bus. Hello, bus. Going to Hackneywick. This is coming from Hackneywick.

I like that. You're quite a stick look at. Oh, I know my stuff. I know me. He's there in London now. So I'm thinking of Little Mark in the King's Head. He's thinking, are you thinking at that point? A lot of people, you mentioned Frank Skinner. And I know from what Frank said to me, you know, when he did his first gig, it was just this overwhelming feeling of I don't ever want to do anything else. Yeah. This is it. Did you get that feeling?

Really? Yeah, 100%. And in an instant, I threw my degree out. Like, I got a job by that point. So when I did, I just got, had I? No, I wouldn't, no. Okay, so then shortly after that, I got a job at Kent University in their sports department. And then I did that job for about 12 years, because it was a really, it was a really fun job, really nice.

you know, hanging out with like just young people and enthusiastic people in the gym. It's a really nice job, not like a job in future particularly, but it was the perfect job to be able to do comedy on the side. Yeah. We go just down there. So you were basically, you were presumably gigging while you were doing that job. Yeah, so I was doing my shift and then I'd be shooting off to Brighton, do five minutes on stage. come back, get up, do a shift, back again.

And you started to do, I think I became aware of you, sort of like comics would talk about you all the time. Really? Yeah, I think so, like in a really positive way. Because you've supported some really big names. Yeah. Haven't you? Like, I'm trying to think.

Did you support Robbredon, didn't you? I did support Robbiden. He's a nice bloke, isn't he? He is very nice. Well, so I supported, the first person I supported was Sean Walsh. Absolutely. And he, that changed, that was another big pivotal moment because I'm, I've been brought up to be quite sensible financially. Are you?

So the whole taking a plunge and going full time was a big, like, would have been a big jump for me. And Sean asked me, if you go down there, steps there. And Sean asked me to support him on tour, which gave me 50 dates in the diary. Yeah. And from there, I could build. like the career and so I did that took the plunge which changed everything and then I did a couple of Sean's tours I did one for Rob Beckett and then one for Rob Bryden all done this podcast have they yeah oh nice yeah Rob's lovely but Rob was the first person I supported because the other

two yeah yeah the other two I'd grown up with doing comedy because we all started around the same time but with Rob that was like the first time I was doing it for someone I was like oh he's like a hero of mine because I just love everything he's ever done and he's so funny and he's very nice but I was quite nervous around him to start with because it's quite I don't know you've just got certain famous people where you're just like Rob Brydon he's so nice and relaxed but I find he's got a real presence do you know what I mean by that he's got he's charismatic and it He walks into the room and he's so charming and lovely and quite a sort of gentle, lovely boat,

but he's also, he's got, I think, the definition of charisma, which I think is that the temperature changes when somebody comes in a room. You think, oh, he's got something about him. I really hope you love part one of this week's Walking the Dog. If you want to hear the second part of our chat, it'll be out on Thursday, so whatever you do, don't miss it. And remember to subscribe so you can join us on our walks every week.