Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Nick Mohammed (Part One)

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

We’re in St James’s Park with the brilliant comedian, actor and writer Nick Mohammed! Nick plays Nate in Apple TV’s hit multi award-winning series Ted Lasso, for which he was nominated twice for Outstanding Supporting Actor at the Emmy Awards. His list of credits would be a whole podcast in itself, he’s appeared in everything from 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown to Stath Lets Flats. He was also one of the worst contestants in the history of Channel 4’s Taskmaster...Nick doesn’t have a dog, but he did bring a violin… and he told us about a special connection that he had with a dog that love to walk on her hind legs.We discuss the assumptions the media makes about Nick, how being different is a superpower and his absolutely fascinating academic career, which led him to getting a day job at Morgan Stanley before getting his first on-screen break. Nick is on tour with his critically acclaimed alter-ego Mr. Swallow. Show Pony has been described by Mr. Swallow as “payback for everyone who didn’t come to the last tour” and will cover everything from not having his own sitcom to not having his own sitcom… and everything in between. As per - expect magic, music and a whole load of brand-new mistakes. You can get your tickets at https://www.nickmohammedlive.com/ Follow @nickmohammedy on InstagramFollow Emily: Instagram - @emilyrebeccadeanX - @divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Faye Lawrence - with production support from Dex Roy on this episode.Music: Rich Jarman Artwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've never heard anyone say anything bad about you, Nick. Oh, no. Apart from. I don't think you're about to say apart from. Which is why it pains me to ring. Which is why I was very surprised to hear that. This week on Walking the Dog, Ray and I went for a stroll with actor, comedian, writer, and of course much-love star of Ted Lassau, the wonderful Nick Mohamed.

I kind of knew that Ray and I would love Nick, partly because he seems to be universally loved by everyone who knows him, but also because he turned up for our dog walk randomly carrying his violin case, adorable. Nick and I had the loveliest catch-up in London's St James's Park, chatting about his childhood interest in magic, the somewhat eccentric teacher he had who went on to inspire his hugely popular character, Mr Swallow, and the enormous success he's enjoyed in his career, from creating and writing the brilliant Sky Series Intelligence,

which he starred in alongside David Schwimmer to his role as Nathan in the Emmy Award-winning Ted Lasso. Nick is, quite frankly, a joy of a human being to spend time with. I knew he'd be laugh out loud funny, and of course he is, but he also comes across

as such an incredibly sweet nature, genuinely lovely guy. No wonder Ray was all over him like a cheap suit. The good news for Nick fans like us is that you can catch him alive as Mr Swallow this year in his UK tour, pony. I've heard brilliant things about the show, so we'll definitely be heading along.

Do go and get your tickets now before they sell out and trust me they will at nick mohammed live.com. I really hope you enjoy our walk. I'll stop talking now and hand over to the man himself. Here's Nick and Ray Ray. What's the name of your doggy? So my doggy is called Raymond. Oh Raymond. What do you think Nick? I love him. He's very soft, isn't he? How old? How dare you, I've only just met you. I'll tell you my age in a minute. He is. In dog years, please.

He is seven. Oh, bless you. He's nearly eight. But yeah. I thought you'd quite like him. Do you know why, Nick? Why? I think we're all quite petite.

Yes. In fact, I completely agree with that. He's so cute. Oh, he's really soft. He's almost like a cat. Oh, you are cute. Oh, he really likes Nick. Oh.

I love a dog. We've never had a dog. Well, we're going to discuss this. Well, all right. Let's walk up here. Now listen, we're going to walk up this way. I'm going to walk via the kiosk because I want to grab a coffee to have on the go. I don't know if you're going to be able to because Nick, you have turned up. With a Varnen.

I mean, it's a bit boastful, Nick. It's a bit. Well, it was the only opportunity whilst I was in town to pick it up. But I won't play it, I promise. Well, I can't because it's in pieces at the moment. Oh, I wish you would. So why have you turned out with the violin, Nick? Well, basically, about a month ago.

I was going to basically... Oh, where are we going, Nick? We're ending up in the toilets or something? No access to the park. Oh, no, that looks... Let's go this way. I don't look right, does it? I was going to do a little bit of violin playing in the new Mr. Swallow show.

Oh, yeah. Show pony. And I was taking it to a gig, dropped it, but not like... Like, you know, just it was in its case, opened it. It had literally snapped. The finger, like the fingerboard was flat on the body of the violin, and everything had just, the neck of it had come off and big crack. And I was like, oh my God.

I assumed it was insured. It is insured, but not outside the home. So I took it to the violin repair shop. And they said, because I'd never had it valued. And I've had it since I was a kid. It's a violin that was in Ted Lasset. Like, it's like, it means a lot to me this violin. And I've played in orchestras with it and stuff like that.

And anyway, they valued it. They said, well, its current value is zero because it's broken. I was like, right. They said, its restored value is four and a half thousand pounds. It's like, okay, how much to fix it? They're like, four and a half thousand pounds. So I can't. Be good if there's a season four coming.

I won't have a lesser, wouldn't it? Well, I might not be in it. So anyway, the main thing is I'm going to wait until another little filming job comes around. And then maybe I'll, I mean, how big would it need to be? Is an eight out of ten cats going to come? cover it? It's fair, that would cover it. I shouldn't give away feet, should I?

But anyway, so yeah, somebody has happened to pay for this violin. But I felt I could quite justify the cost whilst I've got three kiddies, three hungry kids, and also it's not like I play much at the moment. So it's safe, it's been wrapped up, it's sort of, it's all, all the bits are there and I will take it in at some point. We won't be eating this sweet children, but your father's The will be playing the violin. We'll be accompanying dinner on the violin.

I'm worried it's heavy, Nick. Are you all right? It's genuinely not. And it's nice to hold it. I've not really had it with me for a long time. So it's nice to have it back because they held onto it for a few weeks. Do you know what I'm going to say to you? It's what I'm going to call, it's very anti-aging because you look like you've just come from the Royal College of Music.

Oh, oh God, I wish. Can you imagine? Oh, that's anti-aging. I've not really thought of that. No, I love it. I like that. Let's go to the kiosk. Nick, there's so much to talk to you about.

This is where I thought we were meeting. Oh. The big horsey one. Because we met at the Horse Guards Memorial and you went to just, I'm not putting this statue down, but I wouldn't describe it as a memorial. No, I did sort of wonder actually

as I approached how memorials. It's all a bit, the trouble with a lot of these places in town. It's all a bit sort of empire, isn't it? It's like royal guards. I'm like, what are these places? Do we know what that? You know that building? What is that?

That's Buckingham Palace, darling. No, no, not that. This one here with the high walls. He went to Durham. It's a post-grad from Cambridge. Because it's like, is it some secure... Is that where the war rooms are, basically? I wondered about that, because there's a lot of security.

There's tons of security. What do you think it is? Well, I just assume it's like almost like a nuclear bunker type of If anyone's listening to this podcast and they know there's a building next to Buckingham Palace, it looks a bit. It's got a strange ways vibe. It does look like a prison, like a high, I mean there's no windows. It's pure concrete, very high walled. And there's sort of like a chimney.

Come on, let's get a coffee. So this isn't your usual. Where is your manner normally? Where do you live with your fam? Barnes. We live in Barnes. and we used to live in Richmond for years, for like 10 years, way before Ted Lassau. So, you know, Richmond Park and all that are our stomping ground.

We're at the kiosk. Can I get you a water or a coffee or tea? I'm actually all right. Are you sure? Oh, I'm tempted to get a San Pellegrino. Why didn't you get one? I'll get an apple tiser. Oh, yeah. Just because I haven't had one of those in years.

Do you know what? Adding to the anti-aging vibe. Oh, God. I keep getting like, I should have got it. like some squash and a chocolate. I find squash very comforting. Oh, I love it. Do you?

Yeah. Oh my god, look at all these things. You have one? Why didn't I get you on? No, no, no, no. I was going to get one. I always get myself a treat. No, because they're not all sound like we're just eating on a podcast and it's not pleasant.

No, it's not nice treat, but what we'll do is I'll get one for you as a treat later. Okay. Well, I love because I can go on. Thank you very much. So my friend is going to have the salted caramel brownie. I'm going to have the almond slice. That looks nice as well.

And then my friend is going to have... Did you want an apple tiser, please? Appletiser. And could I have a decaf latte, please? You're so good that you know about eating on the podcast. It sounds horrible. No, I made the mistake of doing it. On Brett's podcast, the films to be buried with.

Because we're obviously mates, it just felt, and I was in a hotel, really, because I was doing some press for intelligence, I guess. And we were like, oh, just come and there's like, they had given, like, as a budget for room service. Let's find a little bench to sit on, or we can sit down just because you've got your violin. I don't mind. But we were just munching all the way through it, and I think it made from really, I think people, like, commented on how horrible it was. They were like, please never eat on the podcast ever again. because we were like Anna was like, it's not like.

It's difficult because I think also when you're with your friends. Oh, you sort of forget and you're like talking with your mouth and like, yeah, yeah, it was, yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you. Bye-bye.

Let's go. Where do I go? Where's your stomping ground then? So I'm North London. Oh, okay. So you hampsed. I'm, yeah. Well, I grew up sort of,

I'm one of those weirdos that grew up in London and still lives here. Like people, well, I don't would say to me, No, but people were just a bit, I think it's an interesting thing because I think people who work in, I suppose, the media or showbizzer entertainment,

it's not that it's unusual, but they said, where did you go up and I say in North London? They said, where do you live? I said, North London. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I haven't moved low. Because I grew up in Highgate. But I love that you used to live in Richmond, Nick. Yeah, we, when Becca and I got married, we moved there in 2014. Well, just probably got married, yeah, we moved there.

Yeah, September 2014. And like, we were renting there a number of years later, like five years later. But before Ted Lassau had become big, we bought a little flat there. And then obviously Ted Lesso went massive. And we were like, oh, it just looks weird that I'm here all the time. It looks like I'm trying to get spotted and sort of hanging out. It's a bit weird. Do you know what I mean?

And I'd be like, well, this is where I walk. This is like where I jog. This is where the kids get a nurse. I mean, it's like. Yeah, he's very tall. isn't he? He's an interesting thing. Everyone's tall for me.

Should we just spend the whole interview going around saying people are very tall aren't they compared to us? How tall everyone is? So we, yeah, but now we are, we move to Barnes. Oh. So not too far away, but yeah. We could sit here. It's nice here, isn't it? Do we sit down?

Yeah, let's sit down. I think it might be nice to rest our legs. Do you want a muddy bit or a... Do you know what? Since getting a dog and this is one of the great things, Nick, you have children. You have children, so you stop caring, and so have I. About, yeah, I mean, I... Well, I'm not stop caring, but you just feel a bit less precious about this.

There was a bit... There was a time when we went to, like, some garden centre cafe a few weeks ago on a Sunday. Yeah. And basically, I'm just wearing a jumper, but it was new, and it wasn't expensive. I'll put this jacket out because it's really old. But it was it on this? It was a new jumper. And then I think Arthur just sort of like, literally, kind of...

I covered it in tomato soup, like it literally just thought it went everywhere. It looked like I'd been like attacked. And then, um, Oh, cute little kid. That child is. They look very similar, isn't they? He looks like Timothy Shallomey the child? Maybe it is.

Yeah. Anti-aging. Shall I sit there? Well, you sit on some of the jacket? You sure? Because then I'll feel less well. Yeah, I think it's better this way. Hey, dogie.

And then you've got Ray in front of you. He's a cutie. Have you owned a dog ever, Nick? No. But we do, but we do, I do have a very close connection with a doggy called Katie. So basically my, when I grew up in Leeds and my mum and dad were both busy with work. So we had a babysitter who wasn't really our babysitter, but she sort of became basically our grandma, even though we weren't related.

She was like an elderly lady who lived down the road. And, but then we would go to her house sort of then pretty much at least once a week, not sometimes two or three times a week from when I was like four or five years old to when I was 18. Like like and she had a dog called Katie who got who she got when we first started and it was a cross between a jack rustle and a spaniel so so short had tons of energy like so much energy and she was really really funny and would she would eat human food like she would eat sort of spaghetti bolognese and porridge and think like she wouldn't really eat dog food she's very And also I really distinctly remember that whenever we would take her out on walks,

she would always pull on the lead. But then when it got to the road that we would cross to then get into the woods where we could let her off the lead and she could run around, she would get up on her hind legs. So she would walk like a human over the road. And it always, when the traffic was stopped, people would genuinely like laugh. Because it would look like, it was like a woman walking. She just, it was really odd. I love that with us.

But she never did it any other time. She would only do it then. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it always made me laugh. I'm going to just do this. It'll be noisy. Yeah, no. Do the noise now.

two, three. Well done, it's fine. Done, there we go. What was your parents' view on dogs? They, well, my mum was a GP. Yeah. So her experience of dogs was a little bit like, oh no, they don't have a dog, like the patients,

because it is at a time when, you know, doctors would visit, you know, you would go and do home visits and stuff. So I think she was quite not scared of dogs, but always a little bit wary. that it was sometimes an added complication. So we never, so she never, even though it is clear that both my sister and I loved dogs because of Auntie Joyce's dog, Katie,

we never got one. And to be fair, because we were anti-Joyces so much, we kind of had all the fun experience of having a dog apart from just not living with it. So we got to go on walks and give it treats and we'd get it a Christmas present. So we had a great relationship with the dog without, I guess, the hassle of like

cleaning up its poo and like taking it to the vet or the cost of it or the kind of day to day. But it wasn't like you and your sister, it's your sister, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. You weren't the sort of, I really want a dog kids. You know how some kids are like, please can we get a dog? I think we definitely asked, but it was shut down quite quick.

Don't argue with the G3. No, don't, don't. And my dad, you know, had asthma and like, I mean, I had asthma a bit as a kid. And I think that was often used as the next season. Oh, no, you can't because of your asthma. I don't, I don't think that I don't quite add up anymore. So a pet-free family?

Pet-free family. We had a fish for a little bit, but it was boring. Really boring. I think we, like, got a fair. And it's like, oh, God, now we've got a fish. And no one, I mean, it's, no one looks. I'd watch that film. Oh, God, now we've got a fish.

So it's actually really grew. Like a massive, like a man-eating. And your dad is Indo-Caribbean, is that right? Yeah, he's Trinidadian, yeah. Trinidadian. And your mum was Cypriot Greek. Indeed. And so it's interesting, because you've talked about this a lot in your stand-up, Nick,

that people make a lot of assumptions about where you're from, don't they? Which I quite like. And the thing is, and I don't mind it, but there's always, I get so many things of like, and honestly, I accepted an award for being South Asia a year or so ago. And I was like, yeah, yeah, why not? I mean, you might as well do an award for someone from Cyprus and I could claim it or someone from Trinidad. But like South Asia, I mean, literally Trinidad is not the continent of South Asia and neither Cyprus. But yet I'm sort of told the media has decided that I should identify as South Asian.

So I'm happy to if they're accepting. But it is a funny old thing. And then it's what becomes really interesting is when you go up for a cast, like an audition and they actually want to do authentic casting and things. like that and so I have I have to be often quite honest I'm like oh just so you know I'm actually and you can see them sort of slightly squirming their seats and like oh no that's fine that's fine but which is good in a way because otherwise I'd be only going up for parts specifically written for people who are meant to me from half Cypriot-Graibraibia which is very niche and so I can't

imagine that that would I get many parts I love the sound of your mom the GP I don't know why but I just think there's something was she quite a I like the GP yeah Because I think the GP might have been quite firm but fair. Yeah, I guess that's a pretty accurate description. I don't know, got to be careful what I said in case you listen to it. But I would say she was a hypochondriac, which I think is quite, it almost sounded like to set up to a sitcom, like a GP who's a hypochondriot.

Like as in about herself. I don't, not necessarily about anyone else, but like I think that, you know, all my back and all my foot and all my, it's like, well, all right. But I don't know if I binds all of it. But yeah, it's great. Well, you're closer to one of them. Because you know sometimes people tend to, and it doesn't mean you love one parent more.

Yeah. It's just you tend to be, you sort of spend more time sometimes with one parent or, was there one that you were closer to? Or was it fairly evenly distributed? It was quite evenly distributed. I mean, my dad was always into like, he would. He's a solicitor, right?

Yes, yes. But only kind of like did that relatively late. But he, like he was a stay-at-home dad for a bit of grown up. But also he was definitely the one who would be quite proactive about going into magic and acting and things like that. You know, he would like not that, you know, there was. The GP wasn't. Exactly. But the GP.

But also he just, I think he was just, maybe it's because he kind of, he's like windrush generations. He just came over on a boat and were just like, well, I would just make what you can just do what you like kind of thing. I love that. You know, make as much out of your life as you can. And so I think he's always been not more supportive, but kind of has had, has been a bit more kind of, yeah, just go for it kind of attitude about him. Yeah, less risk averse maybe. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

And it's interesting because, as you say, you had this interest in magic, didn't you? And I always think performers, you are sort of born with that to a degree, aren't you? I think so. You're born to, if you like a show off, basically. You said it so I didn't have to. attention seeking show off. Were you the sort of come in the living room, everyone. We're going to watch the Nick Muhammad show.

Oh, all that. Constantly had a deck of cards on me. Any opportunity to do tricks to friends, family, straight, like anyone, I would. I would do. So I was that kind of archetypal kind of annoying kid who'd be like, pick a card, pick a car. And, you know, the tricks weren't good, obviously,

because you're a kid. And so it's sort of, it was sort of endlessly That's my worst thing Nick. I can't bear it. Magic. No, I love magic. I actually like magic. It's when that would be awkward, isn't it? No, I love magic. What is when children do tricks and you have to be patient. Yes. When they're terrible and you go, wow, we know. That is, that is tough that. But then, and then it goes wrong when they cry. When they cry when it goes wrong, it didn't go right. I know, but that's because you're a child. You can't really do magic yet. No, you're not going to have the nuance. You're not going to have the personality.

Yeah. You can't even do the, you can't even do the moves. I can see how it's been done. But you know, you got to start. I understand misdirection at your age. Yeah, quite, yeah. But were you also, because I'm imagining you were fairly academic as well. Yeah, I was, definitely, yeah. And so that's interesting because I'm not saying that you don't go hand in hand, but was that never a kind of tussle for you in terms of, am I going to be the studious with my Anglepoys lamp on doing my work, you know, or am I going to be showbusnik with the magic tricks? I, but I got, I never even considered it as a viable career, even though weirdly I'd been, as soon as I, you know, was like 16, I was working as a magician. I'd do

close up at hotels and weddings and restaurants and stuff. Like I worked at it and, you know, even at Durham University, I'd pay my way a bit through college by doing gigs at the events and stuff. But I still, so even though I was doing it, I never thought I could go into entertainment as a career ever. And it wasn't until I was doing a postgrad at Cambridge and got involved with the footlights and stuff. But I was like, ah, maybe is it, not that there was any guarantees, but that maybe it could be a viable career. But that, you know, I was like 22 really when I sort of was like, oh. So it wasn't like I had, even though I was obsessed with magic and performing, I guess, from. a very young age. I never really considered it to be something that I could then do as a career.

And were you sort of, were you quite popular? I imagine you were quite likable. I think I was likable but I think I was also an easy target. I don't know what I mean by that. I think I was, I wasn't popular, no. I wouldn't, I wouldn't describe myself as popular because I was, I was popular within a particular niche of like, you know, the gigs basically. Like I, I, I, But, you know, I remember distinctly in sixth form, you know, the common room. And like, you know, we had our corner and that was it. And that's where we sat. And who was we?

Oh, like me, Lee, Vicks, Richard, Mark, Robert. Like, there were like seven of us. And what would I have described your group as in? The Geeks. Oh, I think we would call Cambridge Corner. I think that that was what they called as Cambridge Corner. And it was quite, it's still quite lighthearted. Like, we never felt we were quite happy to it.

be in that space as it were. And it was right next to like where then the six, the head of six forms office. It was so, like, the security had been that close to the six form office. But like, but. Yeah, but it's always revenge of the geeks. Once you graduate.

Oh yeah. And they all come crawling out the woodwork, don't they? Once you get famous. I've had literally bully sort of getting contact with me. And I'm like, we can't ask for stuff now. Like, you think I don't remember? I love that though.

But no, and I say that, I wasn't really bully. But there was definitely, there was definitely, As with any school, the status thing, right? And I was never high status at school. I was never cool. I was never sporty. I guess I stood out, A, for being short and a bit of camp, and really liking magic.

But that's not a recipe for absolute, like sort of a breeze in the playground, right? You're not going to be joining the plastics with those credentials. No, no, no, no, no. But I do think that's interesting because, You know, you try and tell kids, don't you? I do it with all my golf kids and my friends' kids now when, you know, this pain that you go through as a kid

if you are not, you don't look like Regina George or, you know. Oh, yeah. I mean, it must be even more now, like with social media and WhatsApp. Can you imagine? It must be. But you know, you must, it's that interesting thing that you know, and I know that we look at all the people who ever amounted to anything.

Were the people that everyone did dismiss a bit of. the geeks. Yes. Because they had a work ethic and they took that through life. And they couldn't rely on anything else to kind of get them through life. So they had to kind of, I feel I've been asked to go back to my old high school a few times. I've not managed to make it work with the kind of filming commitments and stuff. But I will, I will go back at some point.

And it's just a very normal, comprehensive school called Abby Grange and Leeds. And the thing that I would say is that, if I was saying to the pupils that I'd say, please please please know that like being a bit different not feeling that you're feeling that you're in is an absolute super power really and actually if social media has gone on to prove anything you can track the the stories of where those people who were the cool school cool people and a lot of them then a lot of those paths do not end well no they're like there was the girl that everyone wanted to be who was you know looking back the bully at the girls school I went

to and now last last scene having an affair with her tennis coach. And it's like, really, and then that's how it appears to be her job now. My wife told me what? Neither of is, I mean, I'm on social media for sort of cursory promotional purposes, but like not on Facebook anymore.

And my wife's all dipping and out, but it's often to like, just sort of, let's see where they're at or what's going on. There was like, she was like, there's like one bully. This is her story to tell, really. But she says there was like one bully, an active bully who now has sort of found Jesus, nothing wrong with that and that's great, good for her.

But it's now like asking for money for all sorts of things. And it's like, well, and you know, she literally used to steal money from people at like lunchtime. And it's like, you can't have it. I'm sorry. Jesus might have forgiven you, but I, no, we haven't forgot. We haven't. We haven't. No, sorry.

But I do quite like that, the crawling out the woodwork. It makes me laugh. Yeah. Because it's still, even though it's, I mean, we're talking yonks ago, 30 years ago. But it still doesn't feel that. I can still picture it. still I can still almost remotely walk down that corridor and into the thing and know exactly where everything it. I can still picture it. And I've kept all my like homework diaries and student

planners. I've kept them all like from like honestly maybe middle school onwards like from like 11 years old onwards. I've got them all including all my diaries right and like night and that to now. And I would love to go through them and like properly like oh yeah that was a day that and that was a day you know it would be boring for someone else to listen to but no I think it would be absolutely fascinating. I'm quite cathartic. Yeah. And what's interesting about the bullies is there's a part of them that thinks,

oh, the geeks are always nice, they'll be an easy touch. So even though he's famous now, and in Ted Lassar, he'll still be quite easy for me to butter him off and get back in with him. The geeks were, oh contraire bullies. I didn't, there was one, and I just didn't, I didn't reply, but I thought that was the way to sort of deal with it, is to not. No, because there's, you know, it's like there's compassion and kindness and then there's... Do you know Katie Wicks? Oh, she came on this podcast. Did she? Oh, I love Katie.

She's one of my face. Right, Katie wrote an incredible article. She does, yeah. She does, even. It plays Barbara, doesn't she? Yeah. Katie, I've known Katie for years. What a lovely woman she is. One of the best, right? And she, she's written an amazing article in The Guardian. Like the most recent thing I think she wrote for the Observer or the Guardian. And it's specifically about this. It's about an old school friend getting in contact, but who basically, they were really close and then they fell out and kind of made her life hell. And it's basically just all about the fact that it should all point towards, oh yeah, I forgive you. You know, she was literally asking

for forgiveness was this person. Katie just says no at the end. She's like, no, sorry, I just can't. And that, and actually that's fine. You ended up going to Durham. Went to Durham to do me undergrad. And which is a brilliant university, isn't it? Lovely as well. Where I met my wife. You met your wife there. I love that. Like we do each at like as in we weren't dating, but it's where we met. Yeah. And you had this musical talent, as you said, which you'd had from a young age, but you did, is it geophysics? I did geophysics.

I was so fascinated by, I don't know if this was your postgrad or your, but I learned it off my heart. Now I can't remember. It was something about the isostatic. The effects of, current climate, something. The effects of glacier isostatic rebound on current model. of climate change, I think it was. Yeah, that was my dissertation in final year of Durham, yeah. Weirdly, I think it's on some, it's not Wikipedia, but it's on some information thing. You know, and they have random information. They go, he has starred in Ted Lassow, his character, Mr. Swallowing.

He did his dissertation. And I thought, you're not selling him now. No, no, no, no, no, that's not going to help the geek status, is it? So when you did something like geophysics, though, was that with a view to using that practically career-wise one day? Absolutely. Really? So I, well, I loved it. Like, I mean, I guess when I did my A levels and was like, oh, well, I've got the right A levels to do this and I'm interested in it. So that's sort of how I chose my degree.

But then as it kind of got, you know, heading towards graduating. And I was like, oh, do I want to, what do I want to do? And I didn't quite know. And I sort of thought, well, I probably either I'm going to use a degree. I mean, frankly, I probably would have to come into the oil business because that's what the chief of business is. Is that what it is? Yeah, yeah. So is it, do you not become a degree?

geologists then? Well, geology, they're different, yeah, but like, I mean, there are other things you can go within geophysics like earthquakes and various things, but like a lot of the money, as it were, was in like oil company stuff and like surveying for oil and using seismology to like find where oil is effectively survey for it. And so I started doing a PhD because I couldn't quite make up my mind and I sort of thought was that at Cambridge? Yeah.

And I thought, well, a PhD will just allow me to still be a student whilst I'm still it out but if I then get a PhD then I'll be more employable within that field yeah and then of course got completely bitten by the comedy bug because you got involved with footlights with true footlights yeah and then quit my PhD short so I got an M-Phil in the end and yeah kind of never looked back and not to say that oh then I was like working as a comedian I then moved to London and realised that you know I'm not going to earn any money from gigging so I had a day job at Morgan Stanley of all places I can't see you at Morgan Stanley.

Can you not? You seem it on one of the other ones. Do you know, you did a brilliant, I don't need to tell you what you did, but I'm more to tell you that I loved it. You did an absolutely brilliant show called Intelligence with David Zimmer, which I, in fact, Connie Hark recommended it to me some time ago.

You've got to watch it. I've watched it loads of times. It's very silly, yeah. Oh, I think it's so clever. I mean, it's funny, but it's brilliantly written, and I loved everything about it. And the character in intelligence, like your character, he does delete a load of files. So that was based on Morgan's, my experience at Morgan Stanley.

Honestly, because I basically was, I thought I was messing around. So I was sort of in trade support. So in between the traders and IT, effectively managing this sort of software that did all the trading stuff. And so I had quite elevated access, partly because I didn't really know how it works. So we can sort of give it to you and you grant this access to some of the traders. And I ended up just deleting loads of what are effectively standing orders, but for lots of automatic trades that would happen. And I was deleting them left, right.

I thought I was doing it on like a mirror service. I wasn't really doing it in real life. Turns out it was. And I had to tell my boss and it was like, ah, okay. And it was really convoluted. The only way we could get them back was by waiting in the office until Hong Kong woke up. And because they were on their server, but they didn't exist here anymore. because the time difference.

It was something convoluted like that. So I then put it in intelligence. I sort of deleted everyone's aptitude scores, basically. Did you feel like a fish out of water there a bit, Nick? Well, sadly, you know what? Weirdly, I really enjoyed it. Did you? Yeah, and the immediate people around me were lovely and are very supportive.

In fact, my manager, Alex Billig at the time, he ended up going into, like, retraining a bit and did like a music therapy PhD or so. He works in like that kind of area now. So I saw he came to a gig like in Oxford like a, you know, Oh, that's nice. So yeah, and they were, they sort of couldn't believe what I was doing. Because I'd, they knew, like a couple of them knew that I used to do comedy in a bit

because I think it was on my CV when I was interviewing. And I think they said, oh, you're not, and you're not doing that now, are you? And I was like, oh, no, no, no, even though I was actually being gigging that night. And, and I remember, and I was secretly going in for auditions. And then I got this one that I knew. paid enough for like three months rent and I just thought oh so did I'm just going to quit and just see if that and that was that was the last job I had prior to you said I did quit can but they sort of could but they sort of couldn't well that's very kind but they sort of can believe like

when I was like calling the traders and people's like oh just don't you know I'm going to be handing over to them they were like oh you go like see you're going to another bank and I'm just going to film this um BBC comedy drama by Jeremy Dyson it's really weird um because they didn't even know I acted. They were like, what do you mean? What, what? And then they sort of started doing research. But it was really, they were very supportive. And I remember when I was leaving, I'd not been there that long, but they did a really nice leaving thing. And I did a magic trick on them, which was a really, it was a really fun one as well. You made the files reappear here. I made the crash happen in 2008. No, I, I, there was this thing, this is really boring, but there was this

email I had to send out every morning like clockwork. There was a particular system that I had to check was up and running and it sort of survived overnight because just check it was all because they relied on it quite heavily. So I'd send around, it was the first thing I did in the morning, I'd send around this to a big group email, this is operating and this is fine. And I'd basically hidden within this email the name of a playing card, like the Queen of Spades or something. And so, and I sent it around really in the morning. And then and then they did little drinks singing and a thank you and said, oh, what you do is like, they were like, oh, were you performed? I said, oh, okay, yeah, it wasn't going to do a speech. I said, I'll do a little

trick and I said oh just take and so someone like thought of a card or took a card and I said oh and can someone go and print out the email I sent like a few hours ago and and then when you like read down the site said you will at this time you will choose the thing and they looked at the card and it was the same one so I loved that and then I remember someone really cheekily like a few years later like got in contact was like can you just tell me how how you did that because I'm leaving and I was going to do the same thing well we can't like just take a thing I didn't do it again completely out of context but he's not even we want to edition or anything. I was like, what? Frank's going to have a phrase for that and he gets really angry. He calls it, what, I'm having

that? Because someone once said to him, he said something, I don't know, funny, because you know, Frank, he's always saying funny things and someone went, oh, I like that, Frank, I'm having that. And I was like, don't say that to Frank. There was a great thing in magic in particular. In comedy, it's obviously... Do people steal tricks?

Oh, but it's commonplace. It's sort of part of the norm. I mean, who's coming up there? Is it the king? Oh, look. We should say Winston? Winston? Winston Jameses? It might be the king. Oh my God, it's the king. I was genuinely on the back of a motorbike

and coming down here as they just closed it off and then the king came up. And I saw him in like a... Have you ever met the king? No, I've met some of the other rules at gigs and stuff. Yeah.

Well, you perform. Prince Andrew. I'm not be kidding. Prince Edward though. I've met Prince Edward. I'm going to say, if you'll say, who's your favourite role? I'm just going to say Prince Andrew.

Just to see their favourite. Look! It is something, isn't it? You performed in front of them. I saw you with my own eyes. I think it was the last four variety. Was it in front of William and Kate? When you did Mr. Swan.

It was BAFTA. Oh my God. Oh my Lord, though. That experience. So I've written material about it as Mr. Swallow breaking down his set at the BAFTAs. Because it was cobbled. It was such a last minute thing.

Like they had asked me ages ago to do it. And of course, I was never going to turn down the opportunity because I thought, it's like playing a prank on Hollywood, basically. And I was going to do the Jurassic Park song, which is a thing that I've done as... Which when... We should say, well, we don't just tell you, but it went absolutely viral after you did it on 8 out of 10. Quite. So enough people had known about it already...

It still makes me laugh, even mentioning it. Well, the plan was I was going to introduce the best original score category, and that was my way in to then doing material about it and then doing the song. So it felt vaguely relevant, although a little bit tenuous, because they weren't going to know who Mr Swallow was, but at least there was a connection there. And they all know who you are because of Ted Lasson. Quite. So we were like, okay, I feel comfortable with it. that and then literally a week before because of some amended music licensing Lord they were like oh you need to get written permission from John Williams to do it I'm not joking yeah he is he's like 93 he's an absolute legend and so they

then set that in motion like honestly because it's BAFTA they're like work here we'll contact his lawyers and so they then set and so my new show is a lot about this correspondence basically because bless him always legal team were like oh we can't really be seen to encourage satirical presentations of his work so sadly do you mind not but we really appreciate you reaching out and it's funny and they they were obviously aware that I'd done it but I like we don't want to kind of give you we can't be seen to be giving you permission to do it so BBC were like we can't do it and so they were like what what was and so I was then traveling around for like whatever reason is mr.

swallow there for so it's this idea that well he's the warm up who's gone like how did you get away with it freight out of ten cats because it was review it was channel four I suppose the review thing maybe you could get away with it as news review you could because it's Tropical News show. Quite, there will have been something. And, you know, music licensing laws vary from place. Of course, yeah. It was, either way, we have managed to get away with it.

And I think there was probably a particular rule about it being online and stuff like that. But, and you've got a wait. You're in front of this huge gig. I know, and so I cobbled all this stuff together. But you know what? I loved it. Oh, I loved it.

I loved it. And I looked, basically, everyone who, all like my comedian friends were like, oh yeah, this is, this is, and but you could see the, you, the face, like Christopher Nolan, like, what's going on? And also, it's such a serious event. I mean, I don't know how many of those ones you've been to, but like, I've been to a few. I've been to a few, like, the tele ones.

And even like the Emmys is like, it's a celebration and it's TV and there's so many different categories. And it's upbeat and there's a lot of comedy in it. Oh, the film, it's real. Because films are serious, you know, and they're all about, you know, grief or like, you know, war or like, you know, really serious. It's the academy. It's like, you know, the Oscar's over here. And it's really self-serious and like really serious celebrities, really holding. Really, you know, a lot of pouting.

It's a massive event. And Swallow is literally from the opposite world to that. Like the end of the pier. That's how I liked it then. Well, no, me too. And I knew I was always going to do it. But I remember, I forgot on, was it, forgive me if I pronounce a note, divine Randolph, you know who was in the film?

Yes. who's in that brilliant film with Paul, what's it called? I forgot the name of the film. Anyway, she had just been, she just won, like best-forting actress. She made this really impassioned, but obviously very serious speech about representation of black women in cinema. And then it was like, please welcome Mr. Swallow. It was absolutely, I mean, the gear shift.

And you had bowler skates on. I was, yeah, and also like in my head, it's like, well, yeah, because I did the last tour on Roller Skates, they don't know that. They're like, hello. I was like, hello. I was like, what did they think was happening? Prince William on the front and his security team all around it. And I've got all the screen grabs because it's all on eye player.

And like, it's, I mean, it was an absolute good. Oh, in the end, it was fine. It went really well though. But the first 30 seconds were like, oh God, is this like literal career suicide? But I loved it. And then, and it was great because there was a delay to it going out on telly, like about an hour, I guess. And then my phone started buzzing and it was like, oh, thank goodness. And so, but it was...

Do you know, with those, you know, you must have an instinct because everyone has those moments when, as you say, you've been thrown a curveball, suddenly got to do some material, you know, you weren't expecting to do. It's a little bit more risky. Yeah. Do you get, and everyone has that first 10 seconds. I think they got you and I could see them sort of getting in. And I think the material about your parents. Yeah, when I said about being South Asia, that was the moment.

It was absolutely that. Yeah, it was. I think they suddenly felt, oh, he's made a joke about the industry. Yeah. Because I think I said, oh, that's what the media have decided himself. And so, and you could see. I think William might have laughed at that. He did.

He did laugh at that. He had to laugh. Imagine if he'd have been going, oh, well, okay. And then it was fine, but it was just, but then it was sort of like, before you know, I was off and it was on to another really serious award. Did you have the first five minutes, Nick? No, not first of it, but the first ten seconds. When you think this could go either way, I'm not sure how it's going.

Do you panic? How do you control that sense? I used to panic by speeding up, but I've learned that that's the worst possible thing to do. So I really try, I just try and tell myself that I've done it enough now and experienced, frankly, enough tricky gigs as well, to be, to try and win them back round. So I really try and put all my might into trying to think, okay, what's the issue here? Who do I need to win round? What do I need to do? Often it's about slowing down. Often it's about holding them by the hand a little bit. proving that it's safe and you can trust me and it's not you know we're all going to be fine here of course there are going to be the odd gig where you just never get and you know you could blame an audience or you can blame your act or you can do it but there's sometimes you just can't do anything

I remember doing a really tried and tested gig which would usually play really well and there's all stuff that I'd done before for years and I got booked to do some corporate and it was like I don't know it was like motorbike sort of convention it was something thing quite strange and I was on in like in the afternoon after they'd had lunch and it was just like it I mean it played to literal silent but like but which is quite a funny thing because because the thing about Swallow is that he's not going to I'm not going to suddenly stop doing the character because no one's enjoying it I'm just going to keep going at that rate you know 100 miles an hour and just be like well what are you going on I'm just do it and I you know I can't stop doing it

so it's a long 20 25 minutes but fortunately that doesn't happen so much anymore But no, I just try and remember what it feels like to have had a bad gig versus what it feels like to have kind of actually won them round and be really satisfied with the end result. That's a really good thing. And just try and tell myself that live on stage, which is difficult. And that's taken ages to work that out, to be able to be relaxed enough to just take a moment, just work it out. Because that's the key really, Nick, isn't it? Is that as soon as you come out of yourself and you start looking at the crane shot of your life thinking, my God, I'm on stage.

And you can hear yourself in your head and you're watching. Yeah, yeah, you can't do that because then that's, oh, they're some of the worst gigs or, and this is sometimes true of work in progress nights, but often people are a bit more forgiving when you don't know your script well enough. So really all you're doing is try to remember lines and not really performing and you suddenly sort of very distant as a performer and you're aware of, oh, did I say that line right? Oh, I need to make a note of changing that for any light, you can't relax.

But then there's that lovely point then when you do know. it and you know you can be in control of it and yeah make it work i really hope you love part one of this week's walking the dog if you want to hear the second part of our chat it'll be out on thursday so whatever you do don't miss it and remember to subscribe so you can join us on our walks every week