Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Paul Chowdhry

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

This week Ray and Emily went for a walk in Glastone Park with Paul Chowdhry. They chatted about their first meeting on Celebrity Deal or No Deal, the impact of losing his mum, Paul's experience of racism when he was growing up, and his stand up tour, Family Friendly Comedian. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I feel he's more attached to you already than me. Probably because I look like him. With the beard and stuff. You probably think someone of his, a member of his family or something. This week on Walking the Dog, Raymond and I popped over to Gladstone Park in northwest London to meet multi-award-winning stand-up, actor and writer Paul Chowdry. Paul and I actually first met around a decade ago

when we were both box openers on... Jonathan Ross's celebrity deal or no deal, which he'd done to raise money for my late sister's cancer charity. And I remember thinking how hilarious Paul was that night. But what I didn't know was that he'd actually lost his mum at a young age. So that night had a bigger meaning for him. Paul has a very confident big stage persona. But like a lot of comics, he's actually pretty shy and self-effacing off stage and just a really

sensitive, thoughtful guy. We chatted about his childhood and his talent. the performing and the impact of losing his mum. And the importance of the family his dad created for him and his siblings with his stepmom, who essentially became very much a mother figure. Paul also told me about his experience of racism when he was growing up. And he spoke very powerfully and affectingly about it. So I do just want to flag up that there are distressing themes discussed regarding racial violence, just so that you're aware before you listen. I also talk to Paul about his career trajectory as he's managed to build his vast fan base pretty organically

without a regular TV gig and he's really interesting on why live touring is always where he feels most at home. Ray and I had the loveliest walk with Paul. He's just a really sweet, gentle soul and I should also say that we recorded this a couple of months ago when Paul's dad was suffering from ill health and I know very sadly he recently lost his dad. So given how movingly and warmly he speaks about him. I really hope this is kind of a lovely tribute to the man that he called his soulmate. I so hope you enjoy my chat with Paul.

Do go and see him live. His current tour, family-friendly comedian, has been rescheduled. But he'll be back in the autumn. So go to Paul Chowdry.com for dates and tickets. I'll stop talking now and hand over to the lovely man himself. Here's Paul and Raymond. Raymond? What do you think of Paul?

He's amazing, isn't it? Come on. Come on then. Should we go for a walk with Paul, Raymond? It kind of glides because there's so much fur. It's like he's hovering, isn't it? It's not even like a walk. I feel he's more attached to you already than me.

Probably because I look like him. Because of the beard and stuff. You probably think someone of his, member of his family or something. Because when they see a hairy face they probably think, oh, that's another dog. It's a big dog. Whereas you look like a human. You come stay a laragin, buddy.

Oh, this gentleman really likes Raymond, don't you? We met earlier. What are you doing here? Is that manure? Yeah, it's a mushroom compost. Every once a year we put it on the beds. It helps with the plants and that and the soil conditioning there. Oh, I might try that on my hair.

Yeah. Mushroom compost? Is there poo in there? Is there poo in there? Yeah, horse poo in it as well. Horse manure. Yeah. Oh, maybe I won't put it on my hair, Paul.

Might work. Oh Paul, it's lovely here. So we should say where we are. I'm going to introduce you first. I'm so excited to have this man on my podcast because I'm such a fan. I'm with the multi-talented Paul Chowdry, stand up, writer and actor,

and we're in Paul's local, in your manner, essentially, aren't we? This is a great. Gladstone Park, which is named after William Gladstone, who was like, actually, if you look at the flats over there, or is it over there, I'll show you, there's some flats literally, I think there there there's that one, is where Winston Churchill used to live. No. Yeah, before he went into, just at the birth of his politics, political career. This is amazing, and there's a house up there, I've just seen. ruins aren't there? Yeah, that's the Gladstone house. And it said Mark Twain stayed there.

Mark Twain and... It's so beautiful this park, isn't it? Yeah, hopefully they'll name some of it after me. What about the Chowdry fountain? I'd be up for that. Because my dad came to this country in 1964 and used to walk my elder brother and sister through this park to school. Oh, I love that. That's so nice. So does this feel quite, it must be full of memories for you then here? Well no, because I was born in Edgeware. Oh, okay, so this was where your dad came originally, this part of town? Yeah, well, originally to Southampton and then he came across to London in 64,

bought my mum and brother and sister, elder brother and sister over in, around the early 70s, so he worked in, as a bus conductor, and a bus conductor, and he was a bus conductor, and other jobs. Well, I want to talk a lot more about the Chowdry fan because I'm fascinated by them. But I should just say, I've brought Raymond, my dog, who people who listen to this podcast

will probably be familiar with because I wanted Paul to meet him because Paul doesn't have a dog. But you know what, I'm keeping an open mind because I think he might still be a really nice person. You know what, I'd really love to get a dog, but it's the being on the... road which is the issue and and like living in Rome for six months I was

doing devils with Patrick Dempsey a drama I'm in and and is so dog friendly and you can take him to restaurants and things but over here you can't even take them to certain hotels what sort of a dog do you think you'd get that dog's amazing because my dog yeah what breed is that he's a Shih Tzu but he's called an imperial Shih Tzu which basically means small all right I call myself an imperial woman. Hello, everyone's so friendly here, Paul. I really like this park.

Yeah, there's not as much gun crime in this park until I turned up. Do you prefer small, fluffy dogs? Yeah, I like these dogs. But lots of people like bigger and more, like mid-sized dogs so they can get into wrestling matches with. But I think you can probably do this as a great dog because you're not having issue. with transport, getting another seat on the train,

when you've got this huge, like, American pit bull the way that people turn up with these days. It's bigger than the actual owner. If you can't overpower the dog, you're in trouble. Because one day the dog's going to get really pissed off and say, look, mate, I've had enough of your bollocks, and it's just going to go for you. And then with Raymond, I'm sure,

I'm sure Raymond would put up a good fight, but you probably win. Did the Chowdry family, did you have, pets growing up and what was your sort of attitude to pets and your dad's attitude? They had pets in India like dogs in India and stuff. Your dad did, yeah. But not in this country as much and I wanted to get a dog so I looked at Alsatians growing up but it was the upkeep and my parents saw as you're bringing another it's like looking after a human basically you can't treat a dog like you

you have to treat you like a member of your own family. Would you have liked pets, do you think? Yeah, definitely. I did have budgies, goldfish, things like that, but having a dog would have been... And even now I'm still contemplating getting a dog, but I have to be in the right seat. So I bought a house with a garden in it.

And this park is perfect for a dog as well. Now, here Paul, you're going to discover the tragic floor in Raymond. puddles. Ah. I'm not surprised because he's like he's wearing a designer-labeled jacket, isn't it? He's like an Alexandra McQueen model, isn't he? It's walking through.

The style and charisma of this dog, which you can't see on the podcast, is, I'm not surprised. I wouldn't walk through that puddle if I'm wearing my Alexander McQueen's. Maybe I should pick him up and carry him across the puddle. I think I need you to train him. You're very good with him. Just... Look at that! Look at that. Paul, you're quite unnatural, aren't you?

Yeah, I get on really well. I'll get them probably better than humans, as other comics may have said. So, the Chowdhury family, the Paul Chowdhury origin story is what I wanted, what I want to go to. So your dad had, and mum had come over here? Well, my dad came here first in 64 from a family of eight brothers and sisters. And then he basically worked in factories and manual labor type jobs at the time so he could pay for plane tickets to bring everyone else over. He's gone now, Raymond. And then, yeah, so he bought other members of the family across to England, sisters, brothers,

paid for their plane tickets to come over. He actually came. His elder brother came first to England and lent him five pounds, my dad. And from that five pounds, he basically created a legacy. It wouldn't be here, really, without him coming over to his country in the first place. So, and then my elder brother and sister came across, and I was born here. in the 70s and my mum was also here but unfortunately in 1980 we lost her to cancer when I was about five years old and and then my dad remarried afterwards and then my mum she came from

Indian brought me up but unfortunately last year we lost it to COVID so that was a tough time that I was around this time last year and yeah and my dad you know, we've had to deal with that and he's now we're fighting cancer as well. Oh poor, I'm really sorry. That's tough, you know. Yeah, I mean it's how you navigate around these things. It's just the tough part without turning to class A drugs. Oh, thank you. You'll probably get it all the time.

It's a great dog, isn't it? Maybe she was saying it about you. No. She was going to, what the hell is that? She said, and then she said, oh, the dog's cute. Yeah, but you look quite Hollywood, I think. Do it? Times have changed since, deal or no deal. Those are the good old days, weren't they?

I didn't really have any style back then. I think I invented a style. I didn't have a beard either, but last time we met, so you probably think, who is this guy? And I was much younger. That was 10 years ago. I'm really, that really sort of touches me and makes me feel, really sad that you lost your mum.

And, but I'm interested to know, I suppose, when you're that age, and I'm partly interested because my sister died and had two kids and one was one and one was 10. I'm always doing the show with you back then. I was fully aware of that. Really? I could completely relate to it. But obviously, we couldn't really talk about it 10 years because, you know, you're in a busy TV set. It's not the place to talk about these things, I think.

But I was fully aware of the situation. So it was quite, you know, that's why I wanted to, I was quite honored to be involved in that charity. We should say actually what Paul is talking about is when Paul and I met before and we had previous, not in that way, he greeted me far too warmly for that. And Paul appeared on deal or no deal, which Jonathan Ross had done, he'd appeared on Celebrity Deal or No Deal. and it was to raise money for my sister's cancer charity. And what was a box opener? And that's when we first met. Yeah, one of the box openers.

And I do remember you were really funny that night. I just remember you really... Because, you know, comics often do those things. I just think, oh, I'll turn up, and it's a gig and whatever. But you stuck out in my mind as being really funny and sort of bringing a lot to it. What has he gone? I'm going to have to pick him up.

Yeah. This is what I have to do, Paul. We were talking about losing your mum and I'm just, I suppose, what I'm interested to know is, kids don't often show their grief in the same way as adults, do they? So it's hard to know what kids are feeling and how, what's your memory of that time? Well, you don't understand grief when you're five years old. you don't quite understand it. So when my auntie came across to the house, you know,

the only perception you have is the human, the person that you know is sleeping at that age. So your understanding isn't of permanent loss. So you're not quite, it hasn't quite, so it does take time, and they say it takes time for you to understand that. So it's an emotion that develops over time I think that when it happens. Yeah. Obviously you've experienced with, unfortunately, with your sister and, but you have to try and then balance out how it's helped you in life and how you've developed as a human because of your mum being around in the first place.

Because maybe I wouldn't be the person I am today and your sister's kids wouldn't be the people they are and develop into the people if it wasn't for her strength in the first place. Do you think kids that have lost parents at a young age, there are differences? And how do you think it sort of changes you, I suppose? Well, you're not going to have the same development as other kids, and you are treated differently as a child because of that experience. In what way?

Well, because the way the teachers then speak to you in the classroom, and you're all of a sudden everyone's really nice to you and you can't quite understand why and you're like why why is why these teachers being nice to me all a sudden and it doesn't last for very long and then the kids are being all nice to you and you're like well what's what's happened here so when you're five years old you don't quite everyone starts acting differently around you when it's and you don't understand the reason for it yeah it's kind of like you're famous or something

sudden and I think that you know I'm thinking out loud here but maybe the addiction to that attention and fame developed into my need to be a performer because it happened so young to me and and I quite enjoyed the adulation I received I can understand why it was happening though so why do I need the adulation of thousands and millions of fans for essentially for telling jokes I have a need for it. One sort of benign way of looking at that is that maybe it takes you back to that place as well.

It's kind of close to your mum. You associate that with memories of your mum. Do you know what I mean? Well, yeah, this is a psychological way of thinking about it. Yeah. It does take you to a happy place when you're being celebrated by people you don't even know. And it does take you to a happy place

when you're performing. Do you have memories of your mom? Yeah, yeah, I mean the strength of my mum growing when I was, so I do have very early memories from the age of like two or three. I do have quite vivid early memories, not complete, but you're going to take me to nursery and things like that and buying a jaws figure and a shark and the fact that she came to this country and the 70s were not an easy time for immigrants. It wasn't the climate that we live in now. There was off the back of the Enoch Pall rivers of blood speech and immigration was a threat to England at the time

and there wasn't the diversity or inclusion that we even talk about now. Did you experience racism before a lot when you were growing up? Oh yeah, loads. But it was normal. My dad experienced racism. He was attacked and sliced in the face and took about 50 stitches to the face all about the scars today. I've spoken about that before. I've been I've had attacks been left for dead, woken up in A&E. But these were just things we got through. I've had we used to have a snack bar in Southall. My dad used to have staff members there and there's a woman that used to work there who we treated like family Her husband was a taxi driver and he didn't have a job that night because I'm going that way.

I'll do this job and it was a racist that got in the car and he said the next P-word I see I'm going to kill him. And he stabbed in the head 50 times. So, you know, he was murdered. So, you know, there's lots of people that were either killed or beaten up to the point that it changed their lives. And he had three daughters that were left behind as well. probably younger than us now when he was murdered. And the guy's probably out of prison now as well. And so you were kind of exposed to that a lot.

Oh, a lot, yeah. And even though those incidents were shocking, but in some odd way, there was an element of it, not being normalized, but that it wasn't an outcry, there wasn't a sense of outrage. It was like, well, that's what happened. No, and this is on the backdrop of the Brixton riots and the Southwall riots,

due to oppression within the bricks and the routes for other reasons, but it was mainly due to racism and inequality. But I look back at the 80s and I love the music and the film, but then I also look back and think there were certain points I didn't want to walk down different roads to go home from school. And that was normal though. And if I was abused at school and I'd tell the teacher, they say, just get on with it.

It wasn't a case of, now the teacher would be, bring the other child in yeah and his parents may well be called in but in back then it was normal you didn't you didn't say that and what was your dad's way because your dad met your step-mom yeah and did she presumably became a sort of mother figure to you well yeah she was my mom so i didn't really even see i didn't even know what the term step-mom meant you know so it taught me that you don't you don't have to be related to anyone to be family we're all essentially on this planet it at this particular time in history and existence. And it's a miracle for the billions and billions of years of evolution

that we're sharing this point in time together for this to happen is a miracle in itself. Oh, I love that, Paul. But then we waste it by thinking and doing silly things. Yeah, it's interesting what you were saying about your step-mom. I love that. And that must have made your dad feel happy that he was able to provide you with that family structure, you know, do you think that was sort of almost he always would have remarried, you know, that it would have been, I suppose back then people, single dads were less of a thing,

weren't they? Yeah, single dads weren't even discussed in, and there must have been single dads, just it has to, had to have been. But it was never a thing. Divorce was such a, a taboo subject back at the time, and there was stigma attached to so many issues, or people remarried, and this kind of stigma, which was what it was referred to as, is now being brought to the forefront. And basically it's a form of discrimination. We wouldn't look at the fact that a five-year-old child has no parent or a second parent that helped bring them up.

And essentially back then, your father is the forbearer of the financial situation in the household. If it wasn't for him, who knows what would have happened to me? If he didn't remand, my mum didn't bring me up. It could have gone either way. You just don't know. And how did, I really feel, through your stand-up, I really feel I've got a sort of, I'm familiar with Mr. Chowdry.

Just because you sort of talk about, you talk about your dad a lot and your family, don't you, and just your sort of background. taught me through your brothers and sisters then. So then I got an elder. brother and sister who were born in India. I was born in London. I got a younger sister as well.

So she was born in the 80s. Yeah, so she was like my, she is like my sister. She is my sister basically. So I never saw my mum who came here in 1980 as anything other than my mum. So since the day she turned up, I called her my mum. If you did something naughty, Paul, I don't know what your particular brand of

naughtiness was, like lied or stole something or whatever. Howard, give me a burst of Mr. Chowdry's reaction. What would you say? Well, you know, very loud voice, very, uh, just, yeah, it was, I never swore. The thing is, I never, I've never sworn in front of my parents. I've never said any bad, I've never used bad language. I've never, um, I drank for a little bit, but I've never smoked, not really a druggie as such. Hello, do you want to see the doggy? He's called Raymond. Don't to stroke him.

Say bye bye doggy. Oh, he's going to answer the door. This is very exciting. Paul is answering his. Hello. Good job. I've got some Alexander Rukhian trainers turning up. Paul just answered the door.

It was so glamorous. Yeah, there's my front door. You've got a nice drive, Paul. Oh, you just flobbered on my lip. Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. Do you want a coffee? Come in and see what they've got then. I really like it around here.

Oh, dogs are allowed in? Dogs are allowed, yeah. Oh, no, I have to stay outside. I'll hold him and then you can decide what you want. Can I have like an oat milk latte or something? That's why I go actually. Oh I like your Chihuahua. Thank you.

Right, what do you want? Just get me a herds or tea, maybe a green tea or something. Is it a bikini? No, he's an imperial shih Tzu. She likes to come up to people. Yes. Yes. She's my other one.

Absolutely loved everybody. Hello. Hello. Oh, hello, you little booby Chitou. Bubby Chocolate. Are you little chucky chocolate, Bubba? Are you just a gorgeous? The chihuahua is actually sick, ill with jealousy. This one's quite friendly. Is this a boy or a girl? Oh it's a boy. He's called Raymond. Oh God, it's just too flipping kids. Sengise Shih Tzu. Yeah. She's just absolutely adorable. What's your Chihuahua called?

Fanny. I mean, I've got her to be home her so she's not as a puppy. and some friend of mine this man no longer friend of the way said oh you can't call her that you can't be kind of in the park yelling out I said well she won't be off the lead

so I said I said there won't be I need to I think it's quite a good idea that's a great idea I couldn't have a dog with that name but you could I'm going to go away nice to meet you all

nice to meet you bye bye Fanny did you say goodbye to Fanny? Did you say goodbye to Fanny? Did Fanny get on with? Fanny and Raymond actually got on really well in the end. I just had to teach him, you know, how to respect women. And you know what, Paul, it actually doesn't take long. No, it's just like men.

That is not that hard. In general, yeah. You think after all these years you treat them like equals. Being International Women's Day yesterday. Yeah. And I went to an award ceremony, the She Award. awards. Oh.

When my sister won outstanding, it was an Asian kind of women's awards thing. So what does your sister do? Tell me what your siblings do? So my elder sister, my older brother and sister retired. Yeah. My brother's a computer programmer. And my sister lives in Devon. She worked in like hiring student nurses and doctors for hospitals.

This is not a bad coffee, is it? It's really nice. This is the, I've never had an outing like this in my local park before you see. I've never even, I didn't even know that existed. You see this is what I love about dog walking, Paul. I mean, I love having a dog but I think it forces you to just meet people and be more sociable. Be more sociable, yeah. Yeah.

So tell me, when you were younger Paul, didn't that was your destiny to be a comic? Were you funny? Did people always say, oh, Paul always makes everyone a lot? always makes everyone laugh. Well, it's interesting you say that your previous point about being sociable and talking to people in general, which we don't do in London as much as up north or other parts of the UK, it's a lot more, you go in the tube and it's silent. Yeah. Yeah. And I've been more of a chameleon type of human being, even being Indian, but growing up in England, I was living two worlds in two worlds at the same time. So I had the

Indian culture, the British culture, and that made me able to adapt to different environments. Interesting, yeah. So I was able to have friends from all parts of the world and relate to them. I didn't, because when I was growing up, and maybe even now, certain races stuck together at college or school. They were the Indian friends, and then there's an white group of friends, and then there was all sectors. You know, I find that fascinating that, because your cultural, identity was sort of not binary in a sense. It meant that you were sort of a chameleon. Yeah. And that's quite a useful skill to have if you're going to go into comedy.

Yeah, definitely. And I crossed over in all different circuits. So when I was coming up, there was a black circuit and then there were mainstream clubs. So the black performers didn't see themselves getting the same breaks as their counterparts. So a circuit was created for the black comics. Like in America. How old were you when you thought I want to be a comic? Well, I wanted to try it when I was like 17, but I didn't get around to trying it until I was almost 24, 25.

And then I just got my degree and thought, I might as well to see what happens, because I think you should never live in regret really and think what could have been. Were you sort of academic and did you do well at school? Oh, no, was rubbish at school. Were you? rubbish but back then if you weren't that great at learning you were just at dance

yeah there wasn't any help for you although my dad did help me get private to my my dad got me private tuition so you had tutors and that was a new thing then you know tution was relatively new where they'd come to your house and help but at the end of the day i didn't do that well but i eventually like then i did computer science but i dropped out of that but i did a degree in film and tv and media film and tv and i got a two-one honours in the end But it took a bit of work. Were you the sort of, because this seems quite a familiar thing when I chat to comics, is the report card saying disruptive, keeps distracting others?

Yeah, maybe stuff like that. You know, very short attention spans. So when you've got a short attention span, it's hard to sink things in. And I'm very much like that. Are you? Yeah, with life and comedy, I think. and when I'm doing a show I don't really tend to stick to the script too much

if something goes off in the room I'm going to talk about that for five minutes and then go back to the show how did it go down in the chowdry household a comedy thing initially? People would say what did your parents say about this what did your parents

like any arts or performance driven industry families would have an issue with however my family didn't because my dad actually pushed me in to perform it. Really? When I was, he took me to drama classes when I was a kid because he was very much interested by

and had a passion for the entertainment world and may have seen something in me that he thought, this child has an ability to do that. And music has been a big influence in the family, taking my sister to Vajar classes, which is like a piano harmonica. So she used to play that and the tabula which is an age and my mum used to play sitar. So I'm very much grew up in a household which was driven by music and performance and arts.

So it's a very artistic household and growing up in that environment you don't see it as something of abnormal of a profession. I don't know why I bought Alexander McQueen trainers for 500 quid. I've got 10% on them. So when someone says to me I'll give you a discount, like the amount, like they're manager said, oh, I recognize you. I said, what are you going to do with you? I said, Cheek, look, what are you going to do for me? Then I'll give you 10%.

And I'm all right, I'll take them. Because I've got like 10%, even though they're like, still 500 quid. And I've got 40, 50 quid off of them. Wow, it's still 500 quid trainers. You know when someone gives you a discount? Yeah. Oh, I've got a bargain here. I went to Curry's the other day, and there was an OLED TV, a 77 inch.

Yeah. He goes, oh, I'll give you a bit of a discount. It's three grand for the TV, but because I got a few hundred quid off it, I bought it. Like an idiot. You ended up going to, you worked at Dixon, so you left to school and went to college and got a degree. Well, when I was 17, after school, yeah, I worked in Dixons in Marble Arch, which was the flagship branch. and I was 17 years old and I had a full-time job in Dixon's because I thought, well, it's not going well at school.

And then I eventually thought, this isn't very good. So I went back to college after about a year. And then I worked part-time in Dixon's back and forth while I was to college, works in the High Street, Kensington branch, which was probably the, that was where I was serving, like Brian May, Anita Dobson. So many singers and actors would come in there. It was like, I saw,

I sold Brian Glover, who was a massive actor back then, a warpman. And I started quoting dialogue from a night, American Wayf in London, Kees. Yeah, and he was in, did you quote American World War for London? How did he react? What you're talking about? I said, that's your, what you said in America. I don't remember that.

That he didn't remember. That you wouldn't remember. And who would remember? It's only someone like me who was a film buff who would watch films over and over again and memorize the script. And then I met John Landis, spent New Year's Eve with him once, with Gorinda Chada. Oh, yeah. And he came with his family, and I started talking to him about, because he directed thriller with Michael Jackson. And then he did another video for Michael Jackson.

But American Werewolf in London, Twilight Zone was one of his segments. There was three different directors produced by Stephen Spielberg. But I was quite starstruck to meet John Landis. And I don't think you really got my humour either and started shouting at me. What is this guy saying, man, and his wife, his daughter saying, leave him alone. Just stop, Dad. This guy's an idiot. I think he just thought I was an idiot.

That was John Landis. And I thought, well, I'd love to get cast in one of his films now. Not that he makes films anymore. Do you find that sometimes with your humour? polarising do you think people yeah you either get it or you don't get it unfortunately quite a few people get it for me to sustain a living from it and I've been I've done four major concerts what's happening white people 2012 2015 PC's world 2019 live in it which was released on Amazon Prime around the

world which is still on actually and I really recommend people watch it got me into a lot of trouble that did it why I talk about this in the new show. And this is, well, you're touring at the moment. Yeah. Yeah. So it's called family-friendly comedian. Yeah.

But in that show, because it was released around the world, it has to pass legally in different territories. And we have different defamation laws in the UK. So it's very complicated to release material around the world. What was it like for you? Do you remember first getting on a stage and performing comedy and what did that feel like? Yeah, it was great. But it was very nerve-wracking.

The first five minutes, you write material. Where was it? And how did you just think, sort of, I'm just going to book a gig and how did it happen? I just got, at that time, we had time out. And in time out, there'd be a listing of all the comedy shows. So obviously there was no listings on the internet. And I booked this little open mic night somewhere. And I just turned up and there were like 50 knacks on the bill.

I was on last. It was a corks wine bite opposite cell fridges on Oxford Street. And two of my mates came to watch, at mid-98, and there was like maybe 20 people left in the audience because as the night goes on, people leave. And then I got up there at about 11 o'clock at night, a night that started probably eight o'clock, seven, eight o'clock. You'd be very nervous?

Really nervous, but I'd kind of memorize this five minutes of material, which then probably turned into four and a half minutes. But they were laughing at the right places, which I was quite blown away by, but it gave me that buzz again of saying something funny in class and then the whole class would erupt into laughter, but I was trying to be serious,

and as you can tell by my delivery, this is just my delivery in general. I'm not the kind of comedian, who's all very, you know, putting a smiley face on. This is my delivery, whether I'm trying to be funny or serious. But unfortunately, when people think I'm being serious, it comes across as funny, which I could never understand why. But if I could turn the end to something, I might achieve something in life.

And then I did it, and they laughed, and I got a real buzz from that. I thought, this is almost like when people say, you find something in life that you want to be, or you find the person in life you want to be with, or I haven't had that moment as yet. but I had the moment in my career and when you were young you think once you find a path in life you know it's like buying a flat or a house or renting a place you think oh this is the place for me and you find your place in position in life but I didn't know I could sustain a living from it because only one percent of actors or performers in general in the performing world make a living so I'm and you are part of that one percent and then after the gig I remember two guys

held up the club. There was a big fight and they mugged everyone and I got out of the kitchen, went upstairs, called the police and yeah it was a complete riot. There was a big fight. These two guys tried to mug everyone and there was a big fight in there. So it went quite well until that point. Yeah but as my dad always used to say, about from that how is the play Mrs Lincoln? And never has a phrase been more opposite than your first king. So after that, that's really fascinating for what you're saying it seems to me that it wasn't a choice. You know, you just felt, okay, this is what I'm doing now.

Kind of people say it's cheesy, but it felt like a calling. Yeah. But then you don't know if you could sustain a living from it because you've only done it once. Yeah. Then you go and do it again and it doesn't go as well. And then you realize, this is actually quite hard to write material. And then to sustain a living from this, because I was doing extra work at the time. So I was an extra after, like on Holvey City, I was in season one of Holsey's,

City. I'd love to see that. What were you playing? I was one of the doctors in it. Producers it of course. Indian Doctor, you know. So I now used to do Noel's House Party and this is where we first met because I hadn't seen Noel Edmonds since I did Noel's House Party. Yes, I'm going to just recap on that so we have it. So essentially Paul and I's previous encounter rather serially was with Noel Edmonds. Yeah. When we both appeared as box openers on celebrity deal or no deal with Jonathan Ross and Jonathan has had very kindly agreed to do this to raise money for my late sister's cancer charity and there was a bunch of people there and Paul was one of them and you just

really stood out in my mind as being just so funny and hilarious and it made me really happy Paul so I wanted to thank you because my sister well she would have I know I'm sorry but the thing is it's been 10 years but she's still with us. That's the thing. It's the legacy lives on. So I'm really fascinated. You, but what you must have then, because I think all comics have that, is there is an element of you cannot do that job and want to be a people-pleaser or care what people think too much. Would you say that's true? Well, stand-up? Yeah. Yeah, it's a difficult one because people see these as your opinions.

when you're up there talking to a room full of people, I don't necessarily agree with what comics say, but if they've said it in a funny way, that's what I find funny, they're not politicians. Now, if they're saying these things in Parliament, I'd have an issue with it. We're not going to name certain comics, but potentially they've been cancelled

or they've been vilified for their material because they're being taken as God, or the truth, when they're actually twists, it's a reveal. When people don't understand the reveal, that's where the problems arise. And when you're taking a joke out of a full show and it's taken out of context, when you come and watch me doing a two-hour show on tour, I'm sure if you pull the line out of that show, it's going to be taken the wrong way, and it's taken into...

You've got to play to your audience. This is why I don't release certain material online. My crowds are so diverse, whether it be race or gender or sex, gender or sex that it doesn't actually matter by the end of it because we're all shared experience and we all forget who we kind of are by the end of it because we're all essentially the same and we're sharing this experience at the same time so so looking at a certain part of the community and discriminating which is what I grew up to I don't really want that to be a thing I don't think I can overcome that but for those two

hours hopefully we can all leave the room being at one I always think there was kind of two types of comics. There's comedy you go to which is a bit more like a warm bath, you know, where it's, oh, I hadn't thought of that. And then there's comedy you see which is more like a cold shower and it's, oh, I hadn't thought of it like that. And I would say your comedy's the latter in a way. It's like an ice bath. Well, yeah, because it's it's gasp comedy as well. Yeah, it's gasp with the funny and the laugh at the end. It's interesting because I do a joke. One of my jokes in this show I do, family-friendly comedian, which gets a laugh after they've kind of thought about it.

But when you're putting a mirror up to society, it's my experience in life. When I started comedy, it wasn't necessarily that, but then I developed my own style and voice and I evolve as the years go by. Come on, you can take that call. You're allowed to say it calls on this podcast. Oh, you?

That was my sister. I'm just doing a record at the moment. I call you... All right. Yeah, because she's speaking to my dad in the hospital. Oh, oh, poor. Yeah, it's difficult because, you know, maybe you've been through it and it's not...

Yeah, it's tough. It's really... Well, it just feels I've had... It feels like your whole... Your whole life feels a bit permanently on hold. On hold, yeah. You just... It's tough.

And then getting at least... You know, getting on stage is tough. Is it a release for you getting on stage? Yeah, it's a release, but then also you don't want to be away from your phone and not contactable for a certain time. Then you would you turn your phone on, you're anxious. And it does make it difficult because I'm so close. I'm quite a family-oriented. You know, I've been close to my parents for all my life.

And even when I moved out of my parents' house at 28, which sustained, I could sustain a living from comedy, fortunately because I could live in their house for so long. And I don't know if that's being Indian or now, the kids now, lots of kids. to buy a house, even property or a flat. But I managed to live in my parents' house until I was 28, and then I got a flat, which was only five minutes away, so I still see them every day. So I literally spent almost every day with them. So I've never quite moved away from my family. So I've been quite family-orientated individual in that sense. A strange I have never created my own family, but... Me too, actually. It's interesting that I was very close to my family, and I feel

it's interesting that. I sort of see other people where there's that shift they make and suddenly it's like, okay, this is my new family and that's sort of the extended family. And then they move away, yeah. Often when I read interviews with you, people often say he's nothing like his onstage persona. He's very gentle.

I'm like, that's what it is. It's a persona. What do you expect him to be like? Do you expect Ronnie Corbett to be saying, four candle? It's odd that, isn't it? Apart from Bernard Manning, he was very, similar off and on stage by the looks of it in his interviews. People like that. Or people like

Roy Chubby Brown. Because I remember watching those types of comedies when I was a kid thinking I could never set foot in those clubs. I wouldn't be allowed to even watch these shows and I'd be vilified for being a different colour to everyone else. Oh, he thought you were getting the treats out there. I bet you're quite a good friend, Paul. Do you think you are? Hopefully. I've had very few friends. Do you? Yeah, you keep your friend circle close. But then you attract the wrong people as well when you get to a certain level of within the industry.

Do you think so? Yeah, I've been burnt by that? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, you end up in the wrong relationships with girls and because that's something in relations I've been in terms of. So, yeah, you can, and then they can misunderstand. They think, oh, you're that bad guy on stage. because on stage you're a rock and roll star and you're a bit of a bad boy

and that attracts the wrong people sometimes because off stage I don't drink, I don't smoke I don't do drugs I'm quite a family-orientated person I don't go out clubbing I'm not a party guy so that juxtaposition

because it looks like I'm that person on stage and they want to do those things and you're like well I'm a bit of a recluse and I'd like to walk around the park and play with the dogs or something. Well it's kind of they're not understanding that sort of a Stanley Ipkis mask thing. That's literally a mask you kind of put on, isn't it?

Because there's a persona there. Yeah, and sometimes I didn't remember who I am. I kind of go into a bit of a trance on stage. I become this person that I kind of always wanted to be because I was growing up. I was even then, I was very shy. I think that was probably due to what I experienced and I'd stayed childlike for quite some time. where I wasn't able to develop relationship with girls or something. So I was a late developer in that sense as well because I was quite childlike and I didn't know how to take it to that other level apart from just being their friend or turn it in, have a girlfriend or anything.

So, so interesting what you're saying about your onstage persona. I would look at you and you're kind of super cool and I would sort of think, oh he's a bit of a player. Yeah. Yeah. Are you, do you think, romantically? Not really. I've been trying to settle down. But, you know, I've been trying to, if I find somebody I can settle down with, I'll settle down.

Which is, I mean, as I was a late developer and I wasn't able to forge a relationship with a girl in a romantic sense for so many years. And then I ended up in a few relationships and then probably shorter relationships, which didn't last as long. But then I don't know if they're short. Short relationships because I was trying, it was just probably because it didn't work out. You know, shorter relationships filling your boots and stuff. I've probably been approached more by women as time progressed and I became more known in my field. But then at the same time, meeting someone that way, whoever you are as a performer, doesn't tend to be the person that they perceive you are. Yeah.

So when you're, because I talk to female comics about this and they say they never get chatted up by men as much as men do by women. Right. Because it's not, because men find funny women intimidating because it comes across as very clever and men always want to be funny than women, which I find funny women incredibly, it's an attractive trait for a woman to have that you can have banter with a woman. But growing up through the past, in the 90s lad culture and men, oh, they've got to be, they've got to be funnier than the woman and they've got to get the attention, which is why sometimes a girl will come up to me after the show and want to talk and the guy will just drag him away. Because they're threatened by someone else who can make their girlfriend laugh more than they can. Oh, here comes one. Wow. Oh, we've just seen, Paul, do you want to explain what you've just seen?

I've just seen a... That is a Whipit. Very good. Is it a Whippet? And it came down at least 90 miles an hour. No owner should be seen in sight. But Raymond just was completely cool, in fact, blended into the background,

which didn't even notice him. He's just lying there like he's on the sofa. He's loving this. I'm really excited to see your show, by the way. I really want to come and see it. Family-friendly. A comedian. Comedian.

Because it plays on Canfield Culture and what you can and can't say within comedy. So I start the show off by setting up the themes of it being family friendly. And I actually start getting booed at the beginning of the show because people don't want to see that. They want to hear honesty. And I talk about there's no profanities in the show, there's no bad language, there's no adult themes.

And people are really disappointed. So I'm the only comic that starts off by getting the crowd to boo him. And then it can only go up hill from there, really. And it's interesting. Do you think in a way it's quite liberating for you with your audiences because quite famously you're not. not, you don't, you haven't done that sort of classic comedian stand-ups trajectory, which is to come up through panel shows.

Yeah, I didn't do that. And then build your fan base through that. Does that mean you feel slightly liberated in a way? Yeah, because my organic following is not a crowd that I've just turned up because I won a TV show. Yeah. I've been doing this for over 20 years now. So I've got quite a dedicated fan base. I do around 100,000 tickets on tour, which is,

you know, within the top 10 UK selling axe. And you sold up Wembley and... Yeah. Which is pretty amazing, really. Like I say, when you consider... You would consider that model to be the only model, really, that you'd have to be... Well, the panel show has turned up afterwards. Even YouTube turned up after I started.

So that you couldn't even garner an audience from online. And then YouTube stars turned up. So I was working the road. Now, comics think, well, I can just do videos online. and they're online comedians now, they call them, because you don't have to work as hard. And then when you go and watch them on tour, there's no edit. Who do you really admire, Paul?

What comics do you think that's the kind of comedy I respect and I like, you know, who do you respect as a comedian? Well, when I grew up, it was like Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy and things, people like that. Bill Hicks, um, nowadays, probably more like Stuart Lee, who's done my podcast, he's great. Which you'll have to do as well.

Yeah. I'd have to do this. I'd love to. Turn the tables. Frank Skinner was one of my inspirations growing up. Frank was, I think, one of the best stand-ups in England in the 90s. I mean, I'm going to keep that in, and I'll take out the bit where it says in the 90s. In the 90s.

Yeah, take out the 90s bit. I'll just say, Paul said Frank Skinner was one of my inspiration. Even now, though. Go on, sorry. Even now, I think it's still. one of the best. He's a great comic. I mean, he's an incredible comic. He's got integrity as a comic, I think, is what I mean. Great comic. Have you seen his first four specials? Yeah. Incredible. Even the man in the suit, and I've seen him live, and Frankskin's improvisation is probably one of,

he's one of the best improvisers around, really, I think. He could, when he did the thing with David Badeel, unplanned, yeah. On ITV. they were just improvising a show. But it was way ahead of its time. And now comics are trying to emulate what they were doing back then on stages. But it's, you know, those two together, it was brilliant. Paul, tell me, I want to ask you a question.

Do you cry? Are you a cry? I think you're probably quite in touch with your emotions. Well, it's difficult. You know, you do try and keep, you know, when you... I wait for the man to pass, Paul. Oh, yeah. I really like the man.

He's great, this guy. see him all the time. Where's everyone? Look. Hello. You see, what a lovely man. He's really happy. So you look at someone like that and you think he's content with life. No matter what you're doing, you have to be content. That's it. Yeah. And people like that inspire me. Yeah.

Because you think, look how much he loves his job and I complain about mine. Yeah, I was saying. So you don't, do you cry much? I mean, now and again, it's difficult. Yeah. You know, when you're on tour. Do you get lonely on time? Well, I have a driver, a tour manager, so he does, so you're with someone. I like your, is it a cockapoo?

Cabapoo? Yes, she's a cocapooh. Oh, lovely. What's she called? Mabel, great name. Mabel and Raymond Paul. Quite good, don't you think? Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. She doesn't wave back. Oh, that's all. He won't either. He's quite grand. We can go that way then. Oh, let's go this one. We'll follow you, Paul. We need to get back for your horse. Alexander McQueen trainers. I've got to get you home. I imagine, I mean I've noticed around the

park people are very respectful and they're not, but there's a high recognition factor with you, isn't there? Here and there. I'm not like a household name, but I'm known to people who know comedy. But people are nice to you, Paul, generally. Generally, yeah. I mean, I don't tend to go out clubbing and stuff and when people are really drunk, you can end up. And then, I don't mind it until they start grabbing you and sometimes that happens when, oh, that's nice, isn't it? What's this? Oh, what's that, Paul? Someone's left a scarf there and it's got Paul prints on it. Paul, I've really loved Arnold.

It's nice, isn't it? And I really want to come and see your show. It's called Family Friendly Comedian. And what do you think of Raymond? Oh, he's amazing. Raymond's even come to say bye to me. See that? Raymond, say goodbye to Paul. He's not saying goodbye, Paul.

He doesn't want me to go. Paul, we, we're just. love meeting you. Give us a hug. Thanks Emily. Oh my, Paul. See you soon and come to a show and maybe bring Raymond with you. I might sneak him backstage. What do you think? You could just chill out in the dressing room. Just chill out in there and see lots of mirrors.

You can see himself in the mirror. He'd like that. I really hope you enjoyed listening to that and do remember to rate, review and subscribe on iTunes.